This makes me think we should interview some Women's Wrestling luminaries in our future podcast! For now, the point was to explain what a team leader is, but there's so much more to say about women wrestlers. For those interested, read Wrestle Like a Girl by Jamie Moffatt & Craig Sesker.

I'm considering taking the transcript of the entire podcast and fixing strange turns of phrase and other things that just bug me and turning it into a BOOK (I'm a writer NOT a speaker, after all).... in which case, the podcast would come down. Soooooo if you wanna hear my awkward yet real conversations with Amy, listen now! Cannot thank our listeners enough for supporting us through the looking glass. Broadcasting my personal stories (and feeling so vulnerable while doing it) of overcoming adversity and celebrating life has been a bit surreal. But hopefully entertaining. May you find your own bucket list adventures as a result! Much love, Kiki.

PS from Amy: We have heard that people do not want the podcast to come down AND people want to read the book. There's probably room for both. We'll keep you posted. XOXO

Last episode was emotionally intense, as Kiki relives the events leading up to the death of her marriage. This one, by comparison, is resolute. What's done is done, what's coming will come, but just for now Kiki shares with candor and humility what it's like to be in the midst of an unraveled life. 

There's something funny about Season 3, It's Complicated. People who listened to the first episode have noted how upbeat it is. And that's true. 

As I wrote in the previous episode notes, Kiki asked me to take the lead on releasing these episodes while she processes the emotions they evoke. That's the thing about self-revelation: the more interesting a story is for audiences, the more vulnerable it often is for the storyteller. 

There are two really hard episodes coming up that color the entire season for Kiki. Honestly, the other four are quite joyful. Good things happen—amazing things, really. This one and the next are happy episodes. But when your life falls apart, which I'm foreshadowing loudly, it colors all the stories around it. We've made no secret that Kiki's marriage will fall apart. We never even gave Kiki's future ex-husband a name when he came on the scene. So as you listen to these next two episodes, you will see a family living into the American Dream. But please remember: It's complicated.

From Amy: Ever since Kiki and I first envisioned this podcast, this was the season that felt the most tender, its energy palpable from the start. Yes, the first season detailed a life-altering, near-death experience. And yes, the second season was a technical nightmare due to our sudden COVID lockdown. But this was the the place we were always moving toward, as the pivot point. It's also the one season she most dreaded, necessary for the rest of her story to happen as it did, but still incredibly painful. 

Kiki will tell you that she is far more comfortable with physical pain than emotional pain. For her, listening to all these episodes—and she has—was visceral, evoking heartrending somatic memories long tucked away. 

This miseries (oops! midseries, but the typo fits, so we'll leave it...) season represents a midlife crisis, jumping off a cliff but not by her own choice. It's the season when Kiki's hope-against-hope dream of motherhood comes to fruition—but also the season of never say never, facing painful ancestral patterns, breaking chains, and losing control. 

It's about coming to recognize all three faces of womanhood in herself: maiden, mother, and crone.

Thus this season's title, which couldn't be more apt: It's Complicated.

This season is structurally different as well. We have six episodes, most quite short but packed with powerful stories. And Kiki wants them out there two a week as she approaches her fiftieth birthday this month. They'll help other people and they've anchored her far too long. 

She's ready to break free for good.

So I asked her if she wanted to me release them quickly before the elections, and mostly before her birthday, and she said yes. She sends her regrets, but she's sitting this one out, without comment. She says to tell you this is Prometheus Bound and Unbound. It's Sisyphus letting the stone roll down the hill—and then recognizing, if I'm no longer Sisyphus, well, who am I?

And if Kiki changes her mind about commenting, that's fine too. 

She gets to choose.

Kiki will tell you I'm her Dante, guiding her through the gates of hell, into purgatory, past limbo, and beyond to meet Beatrice in paradise. But I will tell you it's simply been my honor to walk with my dear friend, Kiki, who's very hard on herself. She's brilliant and courageous beyond belief. 

If you've listened even a little, you know that.

Still Kiki will tell you she's ready to lay her soul bare. She's no longer afraid of judgment from anyone else. It's her own self judgment she's coming to grips with here. To quote Kiki: "I don't care what anyone else thinks, but I care what I think. I had to make peace with myself."

So Happy 50th Birthday in two weeks, beloved Kiki. We'll make it fast.

And on to more beautiful things.

—October 14, 2020

"Wow. You guys make every episode thoroughly absorbing, whether the story line is being a string of dramatic horrors or, like here (and high time too!), it's pretty much all upbeat. I think this may be because your main character is just so darned appealing -- one so wants good things for her! -- Fanboy

"What Grit Sounds Like — The old saying goes, 'history is written by the winners.' It's true. But sometimes survivors and over-comers share their stories too. Here is a series, not just one memory, knitted through the life of an individual who's striven for much, gained plenty, but at every turn "shouldn't have" made it. She did. Now she's sharing. The arc is brilliant, the questioning in-depth while...concise..., all pieces relevant for those with ears willing to hear."

—Jwatters777

"Moving and great fun — Amazing (but true) stories from Kiki's life told with style, drama, and humor. Very well done!"

—NatSch5

Here's what people are saying:

“Amazing podcast. Thanks for sharing your story. You are an inspiration for many. So excited for Season 2.” — Beth R.

"Whoa! Once again—so brave of you to share such personal stories and this traumatic incident... When I play back in my head the podcast, I don't experience the replay in audio, I remember it as if had been a visual movie... My reaction was, 'Wait, what? What do you mean that's the end of the Season!?... When is Season 2 to learn more?' So presuming a goal of a podcast is leaving people wanting to go to a second season, then Success!" — Bonnie M.

“It has been so interesting listening to these. Looking forward to the next!... Inspiring.” — Alexandra F.

“The Holocaust will be a shame for all of humanity always, and we must learn many things from this awful event, but we’re facing similar situations in other parts of the world. I hope this episode will reach the right places. You and Amy did an excellent job.” — Sohrab K.

Here's what people are saying:

"An interesting glimpse into the making of a podcast. Amy is not a passive bystander/interviewer... It intrigued me [both as a] discussion and the creative choice to include it as a prelude to Kiki's Teach for America story, which was excellent as usual." — Bonnie M.

"This was amazing. What a conversation, about some of the hardest personal experiences." —Bahman B.

What people are saying:

"I love the shit out of this podcast." — Rachel R.

“Wonderfully done. It’s so easy to listen to. I am not a podcast person whatsoever. But I have listened to these completely.” — Sara L.

“Harrowing!!! Yaaaayyyyy, Mom!!! “Fetch me another chaplain!” was my favorite line. Continued excellent work.” — Kev H.

“Episode by episode, these are amazing. Thank you for putting all this out there in this way. Kiki, you were already well established as one of my hero-exemplars, but after just listening to Episode 3, your Martin-Luther mom has been added as another.” — Eric H.

It was Not a Nissan commercial but Isuzu! Thx to CJ Camp & his librarial skills in tracking down the commercial! Here's the link to watch for yourself.

Also, this episode contains multitudes. We invite you to look for the major themes for the full 5-season series. Now available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Spotify. 

What people are saying:
“Your story is powerful and your energy contagious. You have a great presence delivered through the tears and laughter.” — Dan R. 

“That was fascinating. Thanks for sharing.” — Dave H.

We want your corrections and comments! With your permission, we'll thank you & include edits in show notes.

Pls & thx in advance.

Author Amy Hallberg acts as Kiki's Virgil, leading our intrepid but sometimes still traumatized Dante/bucket lister through Hell and back, thus beginning an inadvertent but unforgettable odyssey.

What people are saying:

“Way to go, Kiki and Amy! You’ve done a great job of storytelling, bringing out Kiki’s self-deprecating humor and setting the scene. Lots going on in just 20 minutes... looking forward to the next one.” — Bonnie M.

“You did an amazing job. It was my first ever podcast I listened to and I am hooked.” — Josh R.

What people are saying:

"Bingeworthy!" — Sander G.

"I've been telling everyone looking for a podcast to check it out. Can't wait for Season 2!" — Makayla K.