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    <title>Hold My Baby</title>
    <description>Parents, comedians, actors and the trauma that is being better than your parents, join us on our weekly “big feelings” podcast rant about the people we have to work with and our roommates - jk our kids. So hold my baby because I need to teach yours a lesson. Hosted by Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich</description>
    <copyright>2025 Hold My Baby</copyright>
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    <pubDate>Tue, 26 May 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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    <itunes:summary>Parents, comedians, actors and the trauma that is being better than your parents, join us on our weekly “big feelings” podcast rant about the people we have to work with and our roommates - jk our kids. So hold my baby because I need to teach yours a lesson. Hosted by Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich</itunes:summary>
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      <itunes:name>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:name>
      <itunes:email>alex@pettycashstudios.com</itunes:email>
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      <title>Ep 23: TSA Chaos, Wonder Woman School Projects &amp; Airport Parenting Fails | Hold My Baby</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we are deeply concerned about literally everyone else’s parenting choices. This episode has everything: * TSA bins becoming the hill Kira is willing to die on * Eric being “randomly selected” at airports forever because… brown * Airport parenting that feels less like parenting and more like surrender * Reclining airplane seats and the silent war of public travel * Parents refusing to tell their kids “that’s not a real person” * Kira’s absolutely unhinged OnlyFans retirement plan * And somehow… saggy boobs become a full segment Honestly? This episode feels less like a podcast and more like two exhausted parents filing emotional incident reports. If you’ve ever traveled with children and thought: *“Humanity may not survive…”*this episode is for you. </p>
<p>--- </p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #modernparenting #airportchaos #comedypodcast #travelwithkids </p>
<p>--- </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or immediately sanitize your hands: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your worst airport parenting experience 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with the parent who lets their kid lick airport windows Because parenting is hard…but raising kids in public? That’s advanced difficulty. ---</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 26 May 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-22-bSrCqYqw</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we are deeply concerned about literally everyone else’s parenting choices. This episode has everything: * TSA bins becoming the hill Kira is willing to die on * Eric being “randomly selected” at airports forever because… brown * Airport parenting that feels less like parenting and more like surrender * Reclining airplane seats and the silent war of public travel * Parents refusing to tell their kids “that’s not a real person” * Kira’s absolutely unhinged OnlyFans retirement plan * And somehow… saggy boobs become a full segment Honestly? This episode feels less like a podcast and more like two exhausted parents filing emotional incident reports. If you’ve ever traveled with children and thought: *“Humanity may not survive…”*this episode is for you. </p>
<p>--- </p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #modernparenting #airportchaos #comedypodcast #travelwithkids </p>
<p>--- </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or immediately sanitize your hands: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your worst airport parenting experience 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with the parent who lets their kid lick airport windows Because parenting is hard…but raising kids in public? That’s advanced difficulty. ---</p>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 23: TSA Chaos, Wonder Woman School Projects &amp; Airport Parenting Fails | Hold My Baby</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:31:25</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>This episode has everything:

* TSA bins becoming the hill Kira is willing to die on 
* Eric being “randomly selected” at airports forever because… brown 
* Airport parenting that feels less like parenting and more like surrender 
* Reclining airplane seats and the silent war of public travel 
* Parents refusing to tell their kids “that’s not a real person” 
* Kira’s absolutely unhinged OnlyFans retirement plan </itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>This episode has everything:

* TSA bins becoming the hill Kira is willing to die on 
* Eric being “randomly selected” at airports forever because… brown 
* Airport parenting that feels less like parenting and more like surrender 
* Reclining airplane seats and the silent war of public travel 
* Parents refusing to tell their kids “that’s not a real person” 
* Kira’s absolutely unhinged OnlyFans retirement plan </itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
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      <itunes:episode>23</itunes:episode>
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      <title>Ep 22: Playdate Horror Stories, Bad Parenting &amp; Kids With ZERO Survival Skills</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we are *this close* to following them to every playdate like undercover agents. In this episode, we ask a very simple question: **Why are other people’s kids… like this??** Things spiral immediately into: * Dropping your kid off at a “safe” house… * Parents not knowing where the kids actually are (cool, cool, cool…) * Why communication between parents is apparently optional now * The missing survival skills in this generation (???!!) * Kids having everything… and still having zero motivation * Are kids actually depressed, or just too comfortable? If you’ve ever dropped your kid off somewhere and immediately thought: *“I made a mistake…”* — this episode is for you. </p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #modernparenting #comedypodcast </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, stress out, or want to track your kid with GPS: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your worst playdate horror story 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who says “they’re fine” without checking Because parenting is hard…but trusting other parents? **That’s the real risk.**</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 19 May 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/22-S_SYuf_w</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we are *this close* to following them to every playdate like undercover agents. In this episode, we ask a very simple question: **Why are other people’s kids… like this??** Things spiral immediately into: * Dropping your kid off at a “safe” house… * Parents not knowing where the kids actually are (cool, cool, cool…) * Why communication between parents is apparently optional now * The missing survival skills in this generation (???!!) * Kids having everything… and still having zero motivation * Are kids actually depressed, or just too comfortable? If you’ve ever dropped your kid off somewhere and immediately thought: *“I made a mistake…”* — this episode is for you. </p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #modernparenting #comedypodcast </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, stress out, or want to track your kid with GPS: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your worst playdate horror story 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who says “they’re fine” without checking Because parenting is hard…but trusting other parents? **That’s the real risk.**</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 22: Playdate Horror Stories, Bad Parenting &amp; Kids With ZERO Survival Skills</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:31:30</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we are *this close* to following them to every playdate like undercover agents.

In this episode, we ask a very simple question:
**Why are other people’s kids… like this??**

Things spiral immediately into:

* Dropping your kid off at a “safe” house… 
* Parents not knowing where the kids actually are (cool, cool, cool…)
* Why communication between parents is apparently optional now
* The missing survival skills in this generation (???!!)
* Kids having everything… and still having zero motivation
* Are kids actually depressed, or just too comfortable?

If you’ve ever dropped your kid off somewhere and immediately thought:

*“I made a mistake…”* — this episode is for you.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we are *this close* to following them to every playdate like undercover agents.

In this episode, we ask a very simple question:
**Why are other people’s kids… like this??**

Things spiral immediately into:

* Dropping your kid off at a “safe” house… 
* Parents not knowing where the kids actually are (cool, cool, cool…)
* Why communication between parents is apparently optional now
* The missing survival skills in this generation (???!!)
* Kids having everything… and still having zero motivation
* Are kids actually depressed, or just too comfortable?

If you’ve ever dropped your kid off somewhere and immediately thought:

*“I made a mistake…”* — this episode is for you.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>22</itunes:episode>
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    <item>
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      <title>Ep 21: Verizon Shut Down My Account?! Power Trips, Bad Service &amp; Comedy Club Chaos</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising kids… while also trying to survive customer service, inflated egos, and people with just a *little* too much authority. This episode really has everything: * Parents realizing their kids are growing up WAY too comfortable (suite life only 😅) * The absolute chaos of dealing with Verizon customer service * Being told you’re not allowed to ask questions about your OWN account * Comedy club security acting like they’re guarding national secrets * Comics being treated like strangers in places they’ve performed for YEARS * The weird ego culture behind comedy industry gatekeeping If you’ve ever dealt with customer service and thought: *“Am I being punk’d right now?”* — this episode is for you. </p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #comedypodcast #customerservicefails #modernparenting #standupcomedy --- </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, yell at your phone, or relive a customer service nightmare: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your worst customer service story (we KNOW you have one) 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with someone who’s been personally victimized by Verizon</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 12 May 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-21-El5tKOrh</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising kids… while also trying to survive customer service, inflated egos, and people with just a *little* too much authority. This episode really has everything: * Parents realizing their kids are growing up WAY too comfortable (suite life only 😅) * The absolute chaos of dealing with Verizon customer service * Being told you’re not allowed to ask questions about your OWN account * Comedy club security acting like they’re guarding national secrets * Comics being treated like strangers in places they’ve performed for YEARS * The weird ego culture behind comedy industry gatekeeping If you’ve ever dealt with customer service and thought: *“Am I being punk’d right now?”* — this episode is for you. </p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #comedypodcast #customerservicefails #modernparenting #standupcomedy --- </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, yell at your phone, or relive a customer service nightmare: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your worst customer service story (we KNOW you have one) 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with someone who’s been personally victimized by Verizon</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 21: Verizon Shut Down My Account?! Power Trips, Bad Service &amp; Comedy Club Chaos</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:38:05</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising kids… while also trying to survive customer service, inflated egos, and people with just a *little* too much authority.

This episode really has everything:

* Parents realizing their kids are growing up WAY too comfortable (suite life only 😅)
* The absolute chaos of dealing with Verizon customer service
* Being told you’re not allowed to ask questions about your OWN account
* Comedy club security acting like they’re guarding national secrets
* Comics being treated like strangers in places they’ve performed for YEARS
* The weird ego culture behind comedy industry gatekeeping

If you’ve ever dealt with customer service and thought: *“Am I being punk’d right now?”* — this episode is for you.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising kids… while also trying to survive customer service, inflated egos, and people with just a *little* too much authority.

This episode really has everything:

* Parents realizing their kids are growing up WAY too comfortable (suite life only 😅)
* The absolute chaos of dealing with Verizon customer service
* Being told you’re not allowed to ask questions about your OWN account
* Comedy club security acting like they’re guarding national secrets
* Comics being treated like strangers in places they’ve performed for YEARS
* The weird ego culture behind comedy industry gatekeeping

If you’ve ever dealt with customer service and thought: *“Am I being punk’d right now?”* — this episode is for you.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>21</itunes:episode>
    </item>
    <item>
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      <title>Ep 20: It&apos;s one of THE Talks, Bullying Myths &amp; Rental Car Nightmares</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also question every parenting decision immediately after making it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Let me stop you right there...today we are talking about:</p>
<p>* Parents who are *way too open* vs parents who grew up with zero sex talk</p>
<p>* Locker room trauma, nicknames, and why kids are ruthless</p>
<p>* The myth of “bullying” vs what bullying actually was growing up</p>
<p>* Parenting today vs the “walk uphill both ways while being threatened” era</p>
<p>* Why every parent is now documenting EVERYTHING just to protect themselves</p>
<p>If you’ve ever thought: *“Am I doing this right… or just surviving?”* — congratulations, you’re one of us.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts  #funnyparents  #millennialparents  #parentinghumor #modernparenting #comedypodcast #familylife #parentproblems</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, stress out, or question your parenting decisions:</p>
<p>Because parenting is hard…but customer service robots? **Absolutely Not**</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 5 May 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-20-UIdsZKu_</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also question every parenting decision immediately after making it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Let me stop you right there...today we are talking about:</p>
<p>* Parents who are *way too open* vs parents who grew up with zero sex talk</p>
<p>* Locker room trauma, nicknames, and why kids are ruthless</p>
<p>* The myth of “bullying” vs what bullying actually was growing up</p>
<p>* Parenting today vs the “walk uphill both ways while being threatened” era</p>
<p>* Why every parent is now documenting EVERYTHING just to protect themselves</p>
<p>If you’ve ever thought: *“Am I doing this right… or just surviving?”* — congratulations, you’re one of us.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts  #funnyparents  #millennialparents  #parentinghumor #modernparenting #comedypodcast #familylife #parentproblems</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, stress out, or question your parenting decisions:</p>
<p>Because parenting is hard…but customer service robots? **Absolutely Not**</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 20: It&apos;s one of THE Talks, Bullying Myths &amp; Rental Car Nightmares</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:35:25</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also question every parenting decision immediately after making it.

Let me stop you right there...today we are talking about:

* Parents who are *way too open* vs parents who grew up with zero sex talk
* Locker room trauma, nicknames, and why kids are ruthless
* The myth of “bullying” vs what bullying actually was growing up
* Parenting today vs the “walk uphill both ways while being threatened” era
* Why every parent is now documenting EVERYTHING just to protect themselves

If you’ve ever thought: *“Am I doing this right… or just surviving?”* — congratulations, you’re one of us.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also question every parenting decision immediately after making it.

Let me stop you right there...today we are talking about:

* Parents who are *way too open* vs parents who grew up with zero sex talk
* Locker room trauma, nicknames, and why kids are ruthless
* The myth of “bullying” vs what bullying actually was growing up
* Parenting today vs the “walk uphill both ways while being threatened” era
* Why every parent is now documenting EVERYTHING just to protect themselves

If you’ve ever thought: *“Am I doing this right… or just surviving?”* — congratulations, you’re one of us.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>20</itunes:episode>
    </item>
    <item>
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      <title>Ep 19: Bad Party Food, Gift Etiquette &amp; Parenting Judgment</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we will absolutely judge you for bringing off-brand soda to a party. We get into: * Parents drinking (or not drinking) and how we cope with life * Comedy, performing sober, and why being sharp actually matters * Porto’s saving every party like the MVP it is * Why bad party food is actually offensive (yes, we said it) * Parenting paranoia around allergies and food safety * The emotional trauma of giving thoughtful gifts If you’ve ever gone to a party, looked at the food, and thought *“I should’ve eaten before I got here”*… this episode is for you. </p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentingpodcasts #parentinghumor #modernparenting #comedypodcast #parentingburnout --- </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, feel seen, or rethink what you bring to parties: </p>
<p>👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment: what’s the WORST thing someone has brought to your house? 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a friend who brings questionable snacks Because parenting is hard…but bad party food? </p>
<p>**Absolutely Not.**</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-19-AfL2lSEC</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we will absolutely judge you for bringing off-brand soda to a party. We get into: * Parents drinking (or not drinking) and how we cope with life * Comedy, performing sober, and why being sharp actually matters * Porto’s saving every party like the MVP it is * Why bad party food is actually offensive (yes, we said it) * Parenting paranoia around allergies and food safety * The emotional trauma of giving thoughtful gifts If you’ve ever gone to a party, looked at the food, and thought *“I should’ve eaten before I got here”*… this episode is for you. </p>
<p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentingpodcasts #parentinghumor #modernparenting #comedypodcast #parentingburnout --- </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, feel seen, or rethink what you bring to parties: </p>
<p>👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment: what’s the WORST thing someone has brought to your house? 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a friend who brings questionable snacks Because parenting is hard…but bad party food? </p>
<p>**Absolutely Not.**</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 19: Bad Party Food, Gift Etiquette &amp; Parenting Judgment</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:33:35</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we will absolutely judge you for bringing off-brand soda to a party. We get into: * Parents drinking (or not drinking) and how we cope with life * Comedy, performing sober, and why being sharp actually matters * Porto’s saving every party like the MVP it is * Why bad party food is actually offensive (yes, we said it) * Parenting paranoia around allergies and food safety * The emotional trauma of giving thoughtful gifts If you’ve ever gone to a party, looked at the food, and thought *“I should’ve eaten before I got here”*… this episode is for you. </itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we will absolutely judge you for bringing off-brand soda to a party. We get into: * Parents drinking (or not drinking) and how we cope with life * Comedy, performing sober, and why being sharp actually matters * Porto’s saving every party like the MVP it is * Why bad party food is actually offensive (yes, we said it) * Parenting paranoia around allergies and food safety * The emotional trauma of giving thoughtful gifts If you’ve ever gone to a party, looked at the food, and thought *“I should’ve eaten before I got here”*… this episode is for you. </itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>19</itunes:episode>
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      <title>Ep 18: iPad Parents, ‘Be Nice’ Hecklers &amp; Parenting Hypocrisy</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we also expect you to **put the iPad down, be present, and stop yelling “BE NICE” at comedians.** This episode starts with a classic parenting moment: You go to your kid’s school performance to support them… and instead you’re watching the entire show through someone else’s **giant glowing iPad screen** like it’s a drive-in movie from hell.</p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or want to tap someone on the shoulder and say *“put the iPad down”*: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the most annoying thing you’ve seen another parent do 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who records EVERYTHING Because parenting is hard…but other parents? Sometimes harder. --- [Ep.18]</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 21 Apr 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-18-aChx0VdG</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we also expect you to **put the iPad down, be present, and stop yelling “BE NICE” at comedians.** This episode starts with a classic parenting moment: You go to your kid’s school performance to support them… and instead you’re watching the entire show through someone else’s **giant glowing iPad screen** like it’s a drive-in movie from hell.</p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or want to tap someone on the shoulder and say *“put the iPad down”*: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the most annoying thing you’ve seen another parent do 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who records EVERYTHING Because parenting is hard…but other parents? Sometimes harder. --- [Ep.18]</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 18: iPad Parents, ‘Be Nice’ Hecklers &amp; Parenting Hypocrisy</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:29:33</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we also expect you to **put the iPad down, be present, and stop yelling “BE NICE” at comedians.**

This episode starts with a classic parenting moment:
You go to your kid’s school performance to support them… and instead you’re watching the entire show through someone else’s **giant glowing iPad screen** like it’s a drive-in movie from hell.

From there, things spiral (as they should):

* iPad parents recording ENTIRE performances no one will ever watch
* Why your kid actually wants to see your face — not your device
* Over-the-top empowerment speeches from strangers (relax, we got it)
* Parenting messages that sound good… but make zero sense
* Old comics who refuse to evolve (we said what we said)
* Comedians being offered “vacation gigs” that actually COST money

If you’ve ever sat behind someone recording a full performance and thought *“this is why society is collapsing”* — welcome home.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we also expect you to **put the iPad down, be present, and stop yelling “BE NICE” at comedians.**

This episode starts with a classic parenting moment:
You go to your kid’s school performance to support them… and instead you’re watching the entire show through someone else’s **giant glowing iPad screen** like it’s a drive-in movie from hell.

From there, things spiral (as they should):

* iPad parents recording ENTIRE performances no one will ever watch
* Why your kid actually wants to see your face — not your device
* Over-the-top empowerment speeches from strangers (relax, we got it)
* Parenting messages that sound good… but make zero sense
* Old comics who refuse to evolve (we said what we said)
* Comedians being offered “vacation gigs” that actually COST money

If you’ve ever sat behind someone recording a full performance and thought *“this is why society is collapsing”* — welcome home.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>18</itunes:episode>
    </item>
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      <title>Ep 17: Japan Travel Chaos, Car Dealership Hacks &amp; Parenting Fails Abroad</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also expect them to survive international travel without losing their minds (or ours). In this episode, Erik and Kira take parenting global — literally — with a chaotic **family trip to Japan**, where Eric realizes he is no longer the confident dad… he is now a confused tourist holding Google Translate like it’s a survival tool. </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, stress out, or remember your worst family trip: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your most chaotic travel story with kids 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who thinks traveling with kids is “relaxing” Because parenting is hard… but traveling with kids internationally? That’s a personality test. [Ep.17]</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 14 Apr 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-17-VVOTa57k</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also expect them to survive international travel without losing their minds (or ours). In this episode, Erik and Kira take parenting global — literally — with a chaotic **family trip to Japan**, where Eric realizes he is no longer the confident dad… he is now a confused tourist holding Google Translate like it’s a survival tool. </p>
<p>If this episode made you laugh, stress out, or remember your worst family trip: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your most chaotic travel story with kids 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who thinks traveling with kids is “relaxing” Because parenting is hard… but traveling with kids internationally? That’s a personality test. [Ep.17]</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 17: Japan Travel Chaos, Car Dealership Hacks &amp; Parenting Fails Abroad</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:26:38</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also expect them to survive international travel without losing their minds (or ours).

In this episode, Erik and Kira take parenting global — literally — with a chaotic **family trip to Japan**, where Eric realizes he is no longer the confident dad… he is now a confused tourist holding Google Translate like it’s a survival tool.

We get into:

* Traveling internationally with kids and realizing you know NOTHING
* Japanese snacks that look cute but might be… questionable
* HOLD MY BABY: Why are napkins in Japan the size of a postage stamp?
* Tesla vs gas cars (and why parents just want convenience)
* Getting detained internationally 
* And of course… parenting through all of it without losing your mind

If you’ve ever traveled with kids and thought *“we are never doing this again”… but then immediately booked another trip*, this episode is for you.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also expect them to survive international travel without losing their minds (or ours).

In this episode, Erik and Kira take parenting global — literally — with a chaotic **family trip to Japan**, where Eric realizes he is no longer the confident dad… he is now a confused tourist holding Google Translate like it’s a survival tool.

We get into:

* Traveling internationally with kids and realizing you know NOTHING
* Japanese snacks that look cute but might be… questionable
* HOLD MY BABY: Why are napkins in Japan the size of a postage stamp?
* Tesla vs gas cars (and why parents just want convenience)
* Getting detained internationally 
* And of course… parenting through all of it without losing your mind

If you’ve ever traveled with kids and thought *“we are never doing this again”… but then immediately booked another trip*, this episode is for you.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>17</itunes:episode>
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      <title>Ep 16: Car Dealership Scams, Tesla vs Gas &amp; Kids Getting Bullied</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast**, where two comedian parents attempt to navigate modern parenting, school drama, and adult responsibilities… while barely holding it together. In this episode Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich tackle some very important parenting issues, such as:</p>
<ul>
 <li>Buying a new car and realizing dealerships are basically psychological warfare</li>
 <li>Why ordering a Tesla online might be the only sane way to buy a car in 2026</li>
 <li>The genius (and slightly terrifying) **“Kira Method” for negotiating car prices** </li>
 <li>Electric cars vs gas cars and why parents just want something that works </li>
 <li>Kids entering the **fifth-grade hormonal chaos phase** </li>
 <li>When your child gets bullied and suddenly you’re ready to fight a ten-year-old’s parents </li>
</ul>
<p>Because let’s be honest… parenting is mostly about trying to raise kind humans while resisting the urge to fight other people’s children. We also discuss the harsh realization that sometimes your kid’s biggest social circle is… their teacher. Parenting win.</p>
<p>#parentingpodcasts #funnyparenting #comedypodcast #millennialparents #modernparenting #parentinghumor #parentlife #familycomedy  </p>
<p>If you laughed, related, or thought **“yep… that happened at my kid’s school too”**: 👍 Hit **LIKE** 💬 Drop a comment and tell us: </p>
<ul>
 <li>What’s the worst thing another kid has said to your child? </li>
 <li>Or what’s your best car dealership negotiation story? </li>
</ul>
<p>And if you’re enjoying the podcast:</p>
<ul>
 <li>✅ Subscribe to the channel </li>
 <li>✅ Share this episode with another exhausted parent </li>
 <li>✅ Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform </li>
</ul>
<p>Because parenting is easier when we can laugh about it together.</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 7 Apr 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-16-wTmBSAN_</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast**, where two comedian parents attempt to navigate modern parenting, school drama, and adult responsibilities… while barely holding it together. In this episode Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich tackle some very important parenting issues, such as:</p>
<ul>
 <li>Buying a new car and realizing dealerships are basically psychological warfare</li>
 <li>Why ordering a Tesla online might be the only sane way to buy a car in 2026</li>
 <li>The genius (and slightly terrifying) **“Kira Method” for negotiating car prices** </li>
 <li>Electric cars vs gas cars and why parents just want something that works </li>
 <li>Kids entering the **fifth-grade hormonal chaos phase** </li>
 <li>When your child gets bullied and suddenly you’re ready to fight a ten-year-old’s parents </li>
</ul>
<p>Because let’s be honest… parenting is mostly about trying to raise kind humans while resisting the urge to fight other people’s children. We also discuss the harsh realization that sometimes your kid’s biggest social circle is… their teacher. Parenting win.</p>
<p>#parentingpodcasts #funnyparenting #comedypodcast #millennialparents #modernparenting #parentinghumor #parentlife #familycomedy  </p>
<p>If you laughed, related, or thought **“yep… that happened at my kid’s school too”**: 👍 Hit **LIKE** 💬 Drop a comment and tell us: </p>
<ul>
 <li>What’s the worst thing another kid has said to your child? </li>
 <li>Or what’s your best car dealership negotiation story? </li>
</ul>
<p>And if you’re enjoying the podcast:</p>
<ul>
 <li>✅ Subscribe to the channel </li>
 <li>✅ Share this episode with another exhausted parent </li>
 <li>✅ Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform </li>
</ul>
<p>Because parenting is easier when we can laugh about it together.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 16: Car Dealership Scams, Tesla vs Gas &amp; Kids Getting Bullied</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:30:54</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast**, where two comedian parents attempt to navigate modern parenting, school drama, and adult responsibilities… while barely holding it together.

In this episode Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich tackle some very important parenting issues, such as:

• Buying a new car and realizing dealerships are basically psychological warfare
• Why ordering a Tesla online might be the only sane way to buy a car in 2026
• The genius (and slightly terrifying) **“Kira Method” for negotiating car prices**
• Electric cars vs gas cars and why parents just want something that works
• Kids entering the **fifth-grade hormonal chaos phase**
• When your child gets bullied and suddenly you’re ready to fight a ten-year-old’s parents

Because let’s be honest… parenting is mostly about trying to raise kind humans while resisting the urge to fight other people’s children.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast**, where two comedian parents attempt to navigate modern parenting, school drama, and adult responsibilities… while barely holding it together.

In this episode Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich tackle some very important parenting issues, such as:

• Buying a new car and realizing dealerships are basically psychological warfare
• Why ordering a Tesla online might be the only sane way to buy a car in 2026
• The genius (and slightly terrifying) **“Kira Method” for negotiating car prices**
• Electric cars vs gas cars and why parents just want something that works
• Kids entering the **fifth-grade hormonal chaos phase**
• When your child gets bullied and suddenly you’re ready to fight a ten-year-old’s parents

Because let’s be honest… parenting is mostly about trying to raise kind humans while resisting the urge to fight other people’s children.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>16</itunes:episode>
    </item>
    <item>
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      <title>Ep 15: Kids, Phones, Therapy &amp; Parenting Chaos | When Parents Try Their Best</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast** — the parenting podcast where two comedians attempt to raise children while also trying not to completely lose their minds. In this episode, Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich dive into the chaos of **modern parenting, phones and kids, generational parenting differences, therapy, and the strange realization that our parents definitely did some questionable things… but somehow we survived.** </p>
<p>We talk about: </p>
<ul>
 <li>The suspicious kindness of a child making coffee (because they want their phone back). </li>
 <li>Kids today complaining about space when we grew up sharing one bedroom with the entire family.</li>
 <li>The universal parenting debate: **when should kids get a phone?** </li>
 <li>Visiting aging parents and navigating tough conversations with kids. </li>
 <li>Movies that secretly give grown men emotional breakdowns. </li>
 <li>Why asking better questions might be the key to actually getting your kids to talk.</li>
</ul>
<p>And somewhere in there we also manage to discuss therapy, family trauma, parenting strategies, and the fact that kids can apparently see their brains through their ears (don’t ask… just watch). Parenting tip of the day: If your kid suddenly makes you coffee… check what they want before you drink it. If you're a parent trying to survive modern parenting, raising kids, or just enjoy comedy podcasts about real life parenting chaos… you’re in the right place.</p>
<p>If you laughed, nodded, or thought **“yep… that’s exactly my kid”** — hit the **Like button** 👍 Drop a comment and tell us: 👉 When did your kids get their first phone? 👉 What’s the weirdest thing your parents did growing up? And if you’re enjoying the podcast: </p>
<ul>
 <li>✅ Subscribe to the channel </li>
 <li>✅ Share this episode with another exhausted parent </li>
 <li>✅ Send it to the friend who swore they’d never become their parents </li>
</ul>
<p>Because parenting is easier when we’re all slightly confused together.</p>
<p>#parentingpodcasts #funnyparenting #millennialparents #modernparenting #comedypodcast #parentinghumor #raisingkids #parentlife #familypodcast #standupcomedians #parentingreality #therapytalks #parentingstories </p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 24 Mar 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-15-FOEWUfwy</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast** — the parenting podcast where two comedians attempt to raise children while also trying not to completely lose their minds. In this episode, Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich dive into the chaos of **modern parenting, phones and kids, generational parenting differences, therapy, and the strange realization that our parents definitely did some questionable things… but somehow we survived.** </p>
<p>We talk about: </p>
<ul>
 <li>The suspicious kindness of a child making coffee (because they want their phone back). </li>
 <li>Kids today complaining about space when we grew up sharing one bedroom with the entire family.</li>
 <li>The universal parenting debate: **when should kids get a phone?** </li>
 <li>Visiting aging parents and navigating tough conversations with kids. </li>
 <li>Movies that secretly give grown men emotional breakdowns. </li>
 <li>Why asking better questions might be the key to actually getting your kids to talk.</li>
</ul>
<p>And somewhere in there we also manage to discuss therapy, family trauma, parenting strategies, and the fact that kids can apparently see their brains through their ears (don’t ask… just watch). Parenting tip of the day: If your kid suddenly makes you coffee… check what they want before you drink it. If you're a parent trying to survive modern parenting, raising kids, or just enjoy comedy podcasts about real life parenting chaos… you’re in the right place.</p>
<p>If you laughed, nodded, or thought **“yep… that’s exactly my kid”** — hit the **Like button** 👍 Drop a comment and tell us: 👉 When did your kids get their first phone? 👉 What’s the weirdest thing your parents did growing up? And if you’re enjoying the podcast: </p>
<ul>
 <li>✅ Subscribe to the channel </li>
 <li>✅ Share this episode with another exhausted parent </li>
 <li>✅ Send it to the friend who swore they’d never become their parents </li>
</ul>
<p>Because parenting is easier when we’re all slightly confused together.</p>
<p>#parentingpodcasts #funnyparenting #millennialparents #modernparenting #comedypodcast #parentinghumor #raisingkids #parentlife #familypodcast #standupcomedians #parentingreality #therapytalks #parentingstories </p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 15: Kids, Phones, Therapy &amp; Parenting Chaos | When Parents Try Their Best</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:29:52</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast** — the parenting podcast where two comedians attempt to raise children while also trying not to completely lose their minds. In this episode, Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich dive into the chaos of **modern parenting, phones and kids, generational parenting differences, therapy, and the strange realization that our parents definitely did some questionable things… but somehow we survived.** </itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby Podcast** — the parenting podcast where two comedians attempt to raise children while also trying not to completely lose their minds. In this episode, Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich dive into the chaos of **modern parenting, phones and kids, generational parenting differences, therapy, and the strange realization that our parents definitely did some questionable things… but somehow we survived.** </itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>15</itunes:episode>
    </item>
    <item>
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      <title>Ep 14: Korean Spa Chaos, Volunteer Parent Rage &amp; Kids Addicted to Phones</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re just trying to raise decent children… and also survive other people’s parenting choices. In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into the chaos of modern parenting: Why are kids always on screens? Why do parents never volunteer but always have opinions? And why is Kira so committed to being naked with Koreans? We cover: * The dangers of too much coffee and too much confidence * Coaching Little League because your kid suddenly has friends again * Wild kids at school events whose parents disappear into thin air * Phones at pool parties and why they should be confiscated at the door If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only adult paying attention?” — welcome. This is your support group.</p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #modernparenting #comedypodcast#volunteering</p><p> --- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, rage, or want to start a mandatory parent volunteer draft: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the most unhinged thing a kid has done at your house 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss our weekly parenting therapy session 📤 Share this with a parent who still lets their kid wear Crocs to paintball And remember: If you’re not volunteering… **absolutely not** with the opinions. ---</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 17 Mar 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/14-xBwkvtUE</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re just trying to raise decent children… and also survive other people’s parenting choices. In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into the chaos of modern parenting: Why are kids always on screens? Why do parents never volunteer but always have opinions? And why is Kira so committed to being naked with Koreans? We cover: * The dangers of too much coffee and too much confidence * Coaching Little League because your kid suddenly has friends again * Wild kids at school events whose parents disappear into thin air * Phones at pool parties and why they should be confiscated at the door If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only adult paying attention?” — welcome. This is your support group.</p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #modernparenting #comedypodcast#volunteering</p><p> --- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, rage, or want to start a mandatory parent volunteer draft: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the most unhinged thing a kid has done at your house 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss our weekly parenting therapy session 📤 Share this with a parent who still lets their kid wear Crocs to paintball And remember: If you’re not volunteering… **absolutely not** with the opinions. ---</p>
]]></content:encoded>
      <enclosure length="31529621" type="audio/mpeg" url="https://cdn.simplecast.com/audio/c4dd8f8e-f149-4406-85de-394aed2e5456/episodes/44e9813e-4c86-4dcf-90c0-65606a5ad1b9/audio/bf2dce81-c626-4b04-8911-e38c3341f1ee/default_tc.mp3?aid=rss_feed&amp;feed=ir_bugvS"/>
      <itunes:title>Ep 14: Korean Spa Chaos, Volunteer Parent Rage &amp; Kids Addicted to Phones</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:32:26</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re just trying to raise decent children… and also survive other people’s parenting choices.

In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into the chaos of modern parenting:
Why are kids always on screens? Why do parents never volunteer but always have opinions? And why is Kira so committed to being naked with Koreans?

We cover:

* The dangers of too much coffee and too much confidence
* Coaching Little League because your kid suddenly has friends again
* Wild kids at school events whose parents disappear into thin air
* Phones at pool parties and why they should be confiscated at the door

If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only adult paying attention?” — welcome. This is your support group.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re just trying to raise decent children… and also survive other people’s parenting choices.

In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into the chaos of modern parenting:
Why are kids always on screens? Why do parents never volunteer but always have opinions? And why is Kira so committed to being naked with Koreans?

We cover:

* The dangers of too much coffee and too much confidence
* Coaching Little League because your kid suddenly has friends again
* Wild kids at school events whose parents disappear into thin air
* Phones at pool parties and why they should be confiscated at the door

If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only adult paying attention?” — welcome. This is your support group.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>14</itunes:episode>
    </item>
    <item>
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      <title>Ep13: Kids, Phones, Therapy &amp; Sick Children in Public</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also believe in boundaries, deodorant, and not showing up to someone’s house with a sick child like it’s a fun surprise. In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral immediately (as usual) into: * Coffee addictions and morning chaos * The eternal parenting debate: **Do you just say NO… or do you ask gentle therapy questions?** * Kids being feral gremlins who shove EVERYTHING into drawers * The horror of your kid repeating “guess who doesn’t use condoms?” at school If you’ve ever wanted to scream “STAY HOME IF YOUR KID THREW UP TODAY”… congratulations. This episode is for you.</p><p>--- </p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #modernparenting #parentinghumor #comedypodcast #screentime #parentingpodcasts </p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or want to ban phones AND germs from your home: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the most unhinged thing your kid has ever repeated in public 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss our weekly parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who also believes “just stay home if your kid barfed” Because we’re all in this together… unfortunately. <br /> </p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 10 Mar 2026 13:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/13-uanBzgrE</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also believe in boundaries, deodorant, and not showing up to someone’s house with a sick child like it’s a fun surprise. In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral immediately (as usual) into: * Coffee addictions and morning chaos * The eternal parenting debate: **Do you just say NO… or do you ask gentle therapy questions?** * Kids being feral gremlins who shove EVERYTHING into drawers * The horror of your kid repeating “guess who doesn’t use condoms?” at school If you’ve ever wanted to scream “STAY HOME IF YOUR KID THREW UP TODAY”… congratulations. This episode is for you.</p><p>--- </p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #modernparenting #parentinghumor #comedypodcast #screentime #parentingpodcasts </p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or want to ban phones AND germs from your home: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the most unhinged thing your kid has ever repeated in public 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss our weekly parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who also believes “just stay home if your kid barfed” Because we’re all in this together… unfortunately. <br /> </p>
]]></content:encoded>
      <enclosure length="30893921" type="audio/mpeg" url="https://cdn.simplecast.com/audio/c4dd8f8e-f149-4406-85de-394aed2e5456/episodes/46a43a2d-f3a1-4bff-bbfa-8c97aa5be2a1/audio/e1784cc5-7972-41e0-97e6-f03e653516d1/default_tc.mp3?aid=rss_feed&amp;feed=ir_bugvS"/>
      <itunes:title>Ep13: Kids, Phones, Therapy &amp; Sick Children in Public</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:31:45</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also believe in boundaries, deodorant, and not showing up to someone’s house with a sick child like it’s a fun surprise.

In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral immediately (as usual) into:

* Coffee addictions and morning chaos
* The eternal parenting debate: **Do you just say NO… or do you ask gentle therapy questions?**
* Kids being feral gremlins who shove EVERYTHING into drawers
* The horror of your kid repeating “guess who doesn’t use condoms?” at school

If you’ve ever wanted to scream “STAY HOME IF YOUR KID THREW UP TODAY”… congratulations. This episode is for you.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but also believe in boundaries, deodorant, and not showing up to someone’s house with a sick child like it’s a fun surprise.

In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral immediately (as usual) into:

* Coffee addictions and morning chaos
* The eternal parenting debate: **Do you just say NO… or do you ask gentle therapy questions?**
* Kids being feral gremlins who shove EVERYTHING into drawers
* The horror of your kid repeating “guess who doesn’t use condoms?” at school

If you’ve ever wanted to scream “STAY HOME IF YOUR KID THREW UP TODAY”… congratulations. This episode is for you.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>13</itunes:episode>
    </item>
    <item>
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      <title>Ep 12: Volunteer Parent Rage, Party Kids Gone Wild &amp; Crocs at Paintball</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids deeply… but we also expect basic manners, social skills, and maybe a little gratitude when adults are doing unpaid labor for them. In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into two of parenting’s greatest nightmares: 1. **Adults who refuse to volunteer but have endless opinions** 2. **Kids at parties who disappear into your house like tiny feral raccoons** We get into: * Korean spas, gym “bang,” and why this podcast needs supervision * Coaching Little League again because your kid suddenly has friends * Volunteering at school and realizing some parents truly do not care * Parent Nights rules: pre-feed your child or don’t come * HOLD MY BABY: kids showing up to paintball in Crocs like it’s a beach day If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only parent doing anything?” — congratulations. This episode is for you.</p><p>--- </p><p>#parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #modernparenting #kidsparties #comedypodcast #volunteer </p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, rage, or want to start a parent volunteer draft: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the worst thing a kid has done in your house 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who lets their kid show up in Crocs And remember: If you’re not volunteering… **absolutely not** with the opinions.</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 3 Mar 2026 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/12-pO87ATaF</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids deeply… but we also expect basic manners, social skills, and maybe a little gratitude when adults are doing unpaid labor for them. In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into two of parenting’s greatest nightmares: 1. **Adults who refuse to volunteer but have endless opinions** 2. **Kids at parties who disappear into your house like tiny feral raccoons** We get into: * Korean spas, gym “bang,” and why this podcast needs supervision * Coaching Little League again because your kid suddenly has friends * Volunteering at school and realizing some parents truly do not care * Parent Nights rules: pre-feed your child or don’t come * HOLD MY BABY: kids showing up to paintball in Crocs like it’s a beach day If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only parent doing anything?” — congratulations. This episode is for you.</p><p>--- </p><p>#parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #modernparenting #kidsparties #comedypodcast #volunteer </p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, rage, or want to start a parent volunteer draft: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the worst thing a kid has done in your house 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who lets their kid show up in Crocs And remember: If you’re not volunteering… **absolutely not** with the opinions.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
      <enclosure length="33348057" type="audio/mpeg" url="https://cdn.simplecast.com/audio/c4dd8f8e-f149-4406-85de-394aed2e5456/episodes/a6fff502-6b95-40c6-b756-42ec0284e58c/audio/8dd33db8-e6f2-45d1-8e5d-ff0f23154897/default_tc.mp3?aid=rss_feed&amp;feed=ir_bugvS"/>
      <itunes:title>Ep 12: Volunteer Parent Rage, Party Kids Gone Wild &amp; Crocs at Paintball</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:34:25</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids deeply… but we also expect basic manners, social skills, and maybe a little gratitude when adults are doing unpaid labor for them.

In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into two of parenting’s greatest nightmares:

1. **Adults who refuse to volunteer but have endless opinions**
2. **Kids at parties who disappear into your house like tiny feral raccoons**

We get into:

* Korean spas, gym “bang,” and why this podcast needs supervision
* Coaching Little League again because your kid suddenly has friends
* Volunteering at school and realizing some parents truly do not care
* Parent Nights rules: pre-feed your child or don’t come
* HOLD MY BABY: kids showing up to paintball in Crocs like it’s a beach day

If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only parent doing anything?” — congratulations. This episode is for you.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids deeply… but we also expect basic manners, social skills, and maybe a little gratitude when adults are doing unpaid labor for them.

In this episode, Erik and Kira spiral into two of parenting’s greatest nightmares:

1. **Adults who refuse to volunteer but have endless opinions**
2. **Kids at parties who disappear into your house like tiny feral raccoons**

We get into:

* Korean spas, gym “bang,” and why this podcast needs supervision
* Coaching Little League again because your kid suddenly has friends
* Volunteering at school and realizing some parents truly do not care
* Parent Nights rules: pre-feed your child or don’t come
* HOLD MY BABY: kids showing up to paintball in Crocs like it’s a beach day

If you’ve ever thought “why am I the only parent doing anything?” — congratulations. This episode is for you.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>12</itunes:episode>
    </item>
    <item>
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      <title>Ep 11: ChatGPT Parenting, Dumb Dad Movie Tropes &amp; Braggy Parents</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising children, enforcing rules, and quietly wondering why we’re the only ones paying attention. In this episode, Erik and Kira break down the real family hierarchy: Who’s actually in charge? Who’s the sheriff? Who doesn’t even know the dentist’s name? And why does Hollywood insist dads are one step away from burning the house down? Things spiral beautifully into: * Parenting roles: regional manager vs part-time supervisor * Hollywood dads being unrealistically helpless * Kids using AI to cheat smarter, not harder * The nightmare of Chromebooks + YouTube Shorts at school * HOLD MY BABY: braggadocious parents who can’t stop one-upping * The reverse-psychology compliment strategy to humble them If you’ve ever wanted to say “please stop talking” at a school pickup… welcome home.</p><p>--- </p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #chatgpt #modernparenting #raisingteens #comedypodcast </p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or want to fight a braggy parent in the school parking lot: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your biggest parenting pet peeve 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s chaos 📤 Share this with a parent who also hates the “dumb dad” trope And remember: if you’re leaving less than 5 stars… **absolutely not.**</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 24 Feb 2026 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-11-zSPB7wUM</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising children, enforcing rules, and quietly wondering why we’re the only ones paying attention. In this episode, Erik and Kira break down the real family hierarchy: Who’s actually in charge? Who’s the sheriff? Who doesn’t even know the dentist’s name? And why does Hollywood insist dads are one step away from burning the house down? Things spiral beautifully into: * Parenting roles: regional manager vs part-time supervisor * Hollywood dads being unrealistically helpless * Kids using AI to cheat smarter, not harder * The nightmare of Chromebooks + YouTube Shorts at school * HOLD MY BABY: braggadocious parents who can’t stop one-upping * The reverse-psychology compliment strategy to humble them If you’ve ever wanted to say “please stop talking” at a school pickup… welcome home.</p><p>--- </p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #chatgpt #modernparenting #raisingteens #comedypodcast </p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or want to fight a braggy parent in the school parking lot: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment your biggest parenting pet peeve 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s chaos 📤 Share this with a parent who also hates the “dumb dad” trope And remember: if you’re leaving less than 5 stars… **absolutely not.**</p>
]]></content:encoded>
      <enclosure length="31466993" type="audio/mpeg" url="https://cdn.simplecast.com/audio/c4dd8f8e-f149-4406-85de-394aed2e5456/episodes/31e6dbdf-b690-4458-885a-241de0de34a7/audio/ace2dd72-0f31-49e3-b7a2-04651f9945b2/default_tc.mp3?aid=rss_feed&amp;feed=ir_bugvS"/>
      <itunes:title>Ep 11: ChatGPT Parenting, Dumb Dad Movie Tropes &amp; Braggy Parents</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:32:27</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising children, enforcing rules, and quietly wondering why we’re the only ones paying attention.

In this episode, Erik and Kira break down the real family hierarchy:
Who’s actually in charge? Who’s the sheriff? Who doesn’t even know the dentist’s name? And why does Hollywood insist dads are one step away from burning the house down?

Things spiral beautifully into:

* Parenting roles: regional manager vs part-time supervisor
* Hollywood dads being unrealistically helpless
* Kids using AI to cheat smarter, not harder
* The nightmare of Chromebooks + YouTube Shorts at school
* HOLD MY BABY: braggadocious parents who can’t stop one-upping
* The reverse-psychology compliment strategy to humble them

If you’ve ever wanted to say “please stop talking” at a school pickup… welcome home.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising children, enforcing rules, and quietly wondering why we’re the only ones paying attention.

In this episode, Erik and Kira break down the real family hierarchy:
Who’s actually in charge? Who’s the sheriff? Who doesn’t even know the dentist’s name? And why does Hollywood insist dads are one step away from burning the house down?

Things spiral beautifully into:

* Parenting roles: regional manager vs part-time supervisor
* Hollywood dads being unrealistically helpless
* Kids using AI to cheat smarter, not harder
* The nightmare of Chromebooks + YouTube Shorts at school
* HOLD MY BABY: braggadocious parents who can’t stop one-upping
* The reverse-psychology compliment strategy to humble them

If you’ve ever wanted to say “please stop talking” at a school pickup… welcome home.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>11</itunes:episode>
    </item>
    <item>
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      <title>Ep 10: Water Polo Parenting Fail, Scholarship Dreams &amp; FedEx Rage</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… and also want them to be *slightly impressive* someday. Not even famous. Just… employable. Athletic. Motivated. Alive. In this episode, Erik signs his 13-year-old up for **water polo** (because scholarships don’t grow on trees), only for it to become his son’s **first and last class**. We get into the eternal parenting battle: Do you push your kid to stick with something… or do you let them quit immediately and raise a future adult who “doesn’t like hard things”? Then we spiral into: * Parenting teamwork (and when your spouse sabotages your discipline plan) * How kids have zero spark now (sorry, but it’s true) * Why hobbies like golf and running are basically rich-people time travel * Home Depot vs IKEA parenting budgets * FedEx customer service rage and “Is there anything else I can help you with?” Be a friend. Tell a friend. And please… stop letting kids quit after ONE practice.</p><p>--- </p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #kidssports #comedypodcast #raisingteens </p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, rage, or immediately sign your kid up for a sport out of guilt: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment: are you a “push them to stick with it” parent or a “quit if you hate it” parent? 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who’s one FedEx email away from snapping Be a friend. Tell a friend. And remember: **Absolutely not.** ---</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 17 Feb 2026 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-10-oQGhv8yg</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… and also want them to be *slightly impressive* someday. Not even famous. Just… employable. Athletic. Motivated. Alive. In this episode, Erik signs his 13-year-old up for **water polo** (because scholarships don’t grow on trees), only for it to become his son’s **first and last class**. We get into the eternal parenting battle: Do you push your kid to stick with something… or do you let them quit immediately and raise a future adult who “doesn’t like hard things”? Then we spiral into: * Parenting teamwork (and when your spouse sabotages your discipline plan) * How kids have zero spark now (sorry, but it’s true) * Why hobbies like golf and running are basically rich-people time travel * Home Depot vs IKEA parenting budgets * FedEx customer service rage and “Is there anything else I can help you with?” Be a friend. Tell a friend. And please… stop letting kids quit after ONE practice.</p><p>--- </p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #parentinghumor #kidssports #comedypodcast #raisingteens </p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, rage, or immediately sign your kid up for a sport out of guilt: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment: are you a “push them to stick with it” parent or a “quit if you hate it” parent? 🔔 Subscribe so you don’t miss the next parenting breakdown 📤 Share this with a parent who’s one FedEx email away from snapping Be a friend. Tell a friend. And remember: **Absolutely not.** ---</p>
]]></content:encoded>
      <enclosure length="30541818" type="audio/mpeg" url="https://cdn.simplecast.com/audio/c4dd8f8e-f149-4406-85de-394aed2e5456/episodes/010b34cd-8da7-4914-8b06-bdcb7a040cf0/audio/c6eabc69-a675-4b3c-9ca5-cd9384eaf93b/default_tc.mp3?aid=rss_feed&amp;feed=ir_bugvS"/>
      <itunes:title>Ep 10: Water Polo Parenting Fail, Scholarship Dreams &amp; FedEx Rage</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:31:20</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… and also want them to be *slightly impressive* someday. Not even famous. Just… employable. Athletic. Motivated. Alive.

In this episode, Erik signs his 13-year-old up for **water polo** (because scholarships don’t grow on trees), only for it to become his son’s **first and last class**. We get into the eternal parenting battle:
Do you push your kid to stick with something… or do you let them quit immediately and raise a future adult who “doesn’t like hard things”?

Then we spiral into:

* Parenting teamwork (and when your spouse sabotages your discipline plan)
* How kids have zero spark now (sorry, but it’s true)
* Why hobbies like golf and running are basically rich-people time travel
* Home Depot vs IKEA parenting budgets
* FedEx customer service rage and “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Be a friend. Tell a friend. And please… stop letting kids quit after ONE practice.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… and also want them to be *slightly impressive* someday. Not even famous. Just… employable. Athletic. Motivated. Alive.

In this episode, Erik signs his 13-year-old up for **water polo** (because scholarships don’t grow on trees), only for it to become his son’s **first and last class**. We get into the eternal parenting battle:
Do you push your kid to stick with something… or do you let them quit immediately and raise a future adult who “doesn’t like hard things”?

Then we spiral into:

* Parenting teamwork (and when your spouse sabotages your discipline plan)
* How kids have zero spark now (sorry, but it’s true)
* Why hobbies like golf and running are basically rich-people time travel
* Home Depot vs IKEA parenting budgets
* FedEx customer service rage and “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Be a friend. Tell a friend. And please… stop letting kids quit after ONE practice.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>10</itunes:episode>
    </item>
    <item>
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      <title>Ep 9: Christmas Break Parenting Burnout &amp; Why Child-Free People Need to Relax</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>In this episode, Erik and Kira return from a hiatus with the kind of energy you only get after **three weeks of Christmas break** and zero personal space. They break down why winter break is basically a hostage situation, why camps cost more than rent, and what happens when you’ve already taken away TV, video games, and phones… and your kid is still acting like a villain. Then things get worse (in the best way), because we also get into: * Remodeling a kid’s room while stepping on decapitated Barbie heads * Husbands with garages that look like **Home Depot got punched in the face** * Why kids don’t learn basic life skills anymore * HOLD MY BABY: If you don’t have kids… stop telling parents you’re tired * Doodle dogs, allergies, Whole Foods supplements, and **anal gland expression** (unfortunately) You’re welcome. Now go drink water and send your kids outside.</p><p>---</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, rage, or quietly throw something into a donation bin: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the most unhinged thing your kid did over break 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss our weekly parenting therapy session 📤 Share this with a parent who’s also fighting for their life 💖 </p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #ParentingBurnout #christmasbreak #modernparenting #comedypodcast #parentinghumor</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 10 Feb 2026 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/9-RV0kH_mN</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In this episode, Erik and Kira return from a hiatus with the kind of energy you only get after **three weeks of Christmas break** and zero personal space. They break down why winter break is basically a hostage situation, why camps cost more than rent, and what happens when you’ve already taken away TV, video games, and phones… and your kid is still acting like a villain. Then things get worse (in the best way), because we also get into: * Remodeling a kid’s room while stepping on decapitated Barbie heads * Husbands with garages that look like **Home Depot got punched in the face** * Why kids don’t learn basic life skills anymore * HOLD MY BABY: If you don’t have kids… stop telling parents you’re tired * Doodle dogs, allergies, Whole Foods supplements, and **anal gland expression** (unfortunately) You’re welcome. Now go drink water and send your kids outside.</p><p>---</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, rage, or quietly throw something into a donation bin: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment the most unhinged thing your kid did over break 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss our weekly parenting therapy session 📤 Share this with a parent who’s also fighting for their life 💖 </p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #ParentingBurnout #christmasbreak #modernparenting #comedypodcast #parentinghumor</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 9: Christmas Break Parenting Burnout &amp; Why Child-Free People Need to Relax</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:32:02</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we also believe **school should be open 24/7** for the sake of civilization.

In this episode, Erik and Kira return from a hiatus with the kind of energy you only get after **three weeks of Christmas break** and zero personal space. They break down why winter break is basically a hostage situation, why camps cost more than rent, and what happens when you’ve already taken away TV, video games, and phones… and your kid is still acting like a villain.

Then things get worse (in the best way), because we also get into:

* Remodeling a kid’s room while stepping on decapitated Barbie heads
* Husbands with garages that look like **Home Depot got punched in the face**
* Why kids don’t learn basic life skills anymore
* HOLD MY BABY: If you don’t have kids… stop telling parents you’re tired
* Doodle dogs, allergies, Whole Foods supplements, and **anal gland expression** (unfortunately)

You’re welcome. Now go drink water and send your kids outside.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids… but we also believe **school should be open 24/7** for the sake of civilization.

In this episode, Erik and Kira return from a hiatus with the kind of energy you only get after **three weeks of Christmas break** and zero personal space. They break down why winter break is basically a hostage situation, why camps cost more than rent, and what happens when you’ve already taken away TV, video games, and phones… and your kid is still acting like a villain.

Then things get worse (in the best way), because we also get into:

* Remodeling a kid’s room while stepping on decapitated Barbie heads
* Husbands with garages that look like **Home Depot got punched in the face**
* Why kids don’t learn basic life skills anymore
* HOLD MY BABY: If you don’t have kids… stop telling parents you’re tired
* Doodle dogs, allergies, Whole Foods supplements, and **anal gland expression** (unfortunately)

You’re welcome. Now go drink water and send your kids outside.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
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      <itunes:episode>9</itunes:episode>
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      <title>Ep 8: Boat Party Horror Story, Airline Seat Wars &amp; ‘Be Nice’ Hecklers</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>We get into: * Why your wedding ring is a “speed bump,” not a stop * Stage names, DJ names, and why we refuse to call you “Sandman” * The worst bombing stories of Erik’s career * Snoring on planes and why it should be illegal * HOLD MY BABY: getting scolded at a comedy show like it’s church If you’ve ever wanted to say “absolutely not” out loud to a stranger… congratulations. This is your episode.</p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, gasp, or immediately get mad at a stranger in your head: 👍 Like the video 💬 Comment your worst airplane etiquette story (we WILL judge it lovingly) 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode of parenting chaos 📤 Share this with someone who tries to trade a middle seat for a window It costs you nothing… except your dignity if you’re the “be nice” lady.</p><p> ---</p><p>#HoldMyBaby #parentingpodcasts #comedypodcast #standupcomedy #AirplaneEtiquette #travelstories #funnyparents #millennialparents </p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 3 Feb 2026 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-8-k_WEiO6q</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We get into: * Why your wedding ring is a “speed bump,” not a stop * Stage names, DJ names, and why we refuse to call you “Sandman” * The worst bombing stories of Erik’s career * Snoring on planes and why it should be illegal * HOLD MY BABY: getting scolded at a comedy show like it’s church If you’ve ever wanted to say “absolutely not” out loud to a stranger… congratulations. This is your episode.</p><p>--- </p><p>If this episode made you laugh, gasp, or immediately get mad at a stranger in your head: 👍 Like the video 💬 Comment your worst airplane etiquette story (we WILL judge it lovingly) 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode of parenting chaos 📤 Share this with someone who tries to trade a middle seat for a window It costs you nothing… except your dignity if you’re the “be nice” lady.</p><p> ---</p><p>#HoldMyBaby #parentingpodcasts #comedypodcast #standupcomedy #AirplaneEtiquette #travelstories #funnyparents #millennialparents </p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 8: Boat Party Horror Story, Airline Seat Wars &amp; ‘Be Nice’ Hecklers</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:33:00</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising kids, dodging weird adults, and trying not to get kicked off airplanes for enforcing basic human etiquette.

In this episode, Erik and Kira cover the *real* dangers of adulthood: being invited to a “boat party” that turns into a soft-launch threesome, promoters who demand you call them **Captain**, comics with fake one-word stage names, and airline passengers who think the window seat is a community resource.

We get into:

* Why your wedding ring is a “speed bump,” not a stop
* Stage names, DJ names, and why we refuse to call you “Sandman”
* The worst bombing stories of Erik’s career
* Snoring on planes and why it should be illegal
* HOLD MY BABY: getting scolded at a comedy show like it’s church

If you’ve ever wanted to say “absolutely not” out loud to a stranger… congratulations. This is your episode.
</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we’re raising kids, dodging weird adults, and trying not to get kicked off airplanes for enforcing basic human etiquette.

In this episode, Erik and Kira cover the *real* dangers of adulthood: being invited to a “boat party” that turns into a soft-launch threesome, promoters who demand you call them **Captain**, comics with fake one-word stage names, and airline passengers who think the window seat is a community resource.

We get into:

* Why your wedding ring is a “speed bump,” not a stop
* Stage names, DJ names, and why we refuse to call you “Sandman”
* The worst bombing stories of Erik’s career
* Snoring on planes and why it should be illegal
* HOLD MY BABY: getting scolded at a comedy show like it’s church

If you’ve ever wanted to say “absolutely not” out loud to a stranger… congratulations. This is your episode.
</itunes:subtitle>
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      <title>Ep 7: Family Photos, Teen Mustaches &amp; Public Speakerphone Rage</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>This episode starts with denim debates and pajama pants denial, spirals into family photos we *swore* we’d never take, and somehow ends with public speakerphone etiquette, airplane seating warfare, and mustache-based childhood trauma. Erik and Kira unpack: * Pajama pants disguised as “real clothes” * Family portraits, matching pajamas & becoming the parents you mocked * Growing up without photos and why it hits later * Old-school parenting discipline (the *look*, the whisper, the dressing room) * Teen mustaches, shaving politics & rites of passage * Puberty, grooming, and projecting your childhood onto your kids * Speakerphone psychopaths in public * Comedy Store parking lot chaos * Exit-row airplane survival strategies (again, because people are animals) If you’ve ever said *“I used to make fun of those parents… and now I am them,”* welcome home.</p><p>---</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or rethink that outfit your kid is wearing right now: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment with the parenting habit you *used* to judge 🔔 Subscribe so we can keep oversharing responsibly 📤 Share this with someone who uses speakerphone in public We’re not perfect parents. We’re just loud about it.</p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #familylife #teenparenting #comedypodcast #publicetiquette #parentinghumor</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 27 Jan 2026 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-7-_J_vYjL_</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This episode starts with denim debates and pajama pants denial, spirals into family photos we *swore* we’d never take, and somehow ends with public speakerphone etiquette, airplane seating warfare, and mustache-based childhood trauma. Erik and Kira unpack: * Pajama pants disguised as “real clothes” * Family portraits, matching pajamas & becoming the parents you mocked * Growing up without photos and why it hits later * Old-school parenting discipline (the *look*, the whisper, the dressing room) * Teen mustaches, shaving politics & rites of passage * Puberty, grooming, and projecting your childhood onto your kids * Speakerphone psychopaths in public * Comedy Store parking lot chaos * Exit-row airplane survival strategies (again, because people are animals) If you’ve ever said *“I used to make fun of those parents… and now I am them,”* welcome home.</p><p>---</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or rethink that outfit your kid is wearing right now: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment with the parenting habit you *used* to judge 🔔 Subscribe so we can keep oversharing responsibly 📤 Share this with someone who uses speakerphone in public We’re not perfect parents. We’re just loud about it.</p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #millennialparents #familylife #teenparenting #comedypodcast #publicetiquette #parentinghumor</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 7: Family Photos, Teen Mustaches &amp; Public Speakerphone Rage</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:31:05</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we lovingly judge your choices while actively questioning our own.

This episode starts with denim debates and pajama pants denial, spirals into family photos we *swore* we’d never take, and somehow ends with public speakerphone etiquette, airplane seating warfare, and mustache-based childhood trauma.

Erik and Kira unpack:

* Pajama pants disguised as “real clothes”
* Family portraits, matching pajamas &amp; becoming the parents you mocked
* Growing up without photos and why it hits later
* Old-school parenting discipline (the *look*, the whisper, the dressing room)
* Teen mustaches, shaving politics &amp; rites of passage
* Puberty, grooming, and projecting your childhood onto your kids
* Speakerphone psychopaths in public
* Comedy Store parking lot chaos
* Exit-row airplane survival strategies (again, because people are animals)

If you’ve ever said *“I used to make fun of those parents… and now I am them,”* welcome home.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we lovingly judge your choices while actively questioning our own.

This episode starts with denim debates and pajama pants denial, spirals into family photos we *swore* we’d never take, and somehow ends with public speakerphone etiquette, airplane seating warfare, and mustache-based childhood trauma.

Erik and Kira unpack:

* Pajama pants disguised as “real clothes”
* Family portraits, matching pajamas &amp; becoming the parents you mocked
* Growing up without photos and why it hits later
* Old-school parenting discipline (the *look*, the whisper, the dressing room)
* Teen mustaches, shaving politics &amp; rites of passage
* Puberty, grooming, and projecting your childhood onto your kids
* Speakerphone psychopaths in public
* Comedy Store parking lot chaos
* Exit-row airplane survival strategies (again, because people are animals)

If you’ve ever said *“I used to make fun of those parents… and now I am them,”* welcome home.</itunes:subtitle>
      <itunes:explicit>true</itunes:explicit>
      <itunes:episodeType>full</itunes:episodeType>
      <itunes:episode>11</itunes:episode>
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      <title>Ep 6: No Crocs, No Poop &amp; Airline Rage | Hold My Baby</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>This episode starts with smiling anger (the most dangerous kind), detours into crying on airplanes, and somehow lands squarely on **why Crocs are ruining society**, why airline seating should come with photos, and why **your child is absolutely not allowed to poop in our house**.</p><p>Erik and Kira cover:</p><ul><li>Crying on planes over movies you thought were harmless</li><li>Why airlines should let you preview seatmates</li><li>Passive-aggressive airplane survival strategies</li><li>Pajamas, presentation, and parenting standards</li><li>Sleepovers, pull-ups, and crimes against plumbing</li></ul><p>If you’ve ever said *“not in this house”* — congratulations, you’re one of us.</p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #crocs #airportcomedy #parentingboundaries #millennialparents  #comedypodcast</p><p>---</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, gasp, or aggressively agree:</p><p>👍 Like the episode</p><p>💬 Comment with your own *“not in this house”* rule</p><p>🔔 Subscribe so we can keep saying the quiet parts out loud</p><p>📤 Share this with a parent who lets their kid wear Crocs</p><p>We’re not saying we’re right — We’re just saying we’re consistent.</p><p>---</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 20 Jan 2026 08:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-6-JFcSHaqV</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This episode starts with smiling anger (the most dangerous kind), detours into crying on airplanes, and somehow lands squarely on **why Crocs are ruining society**, why airline seating should come with photos, and why **your child is absolutely not allowed to poop in our house**.</p><p>Erik and Kira cover:</p><ul><li>Crying on planes over movies you thought were harmless</li><li>Why airlines should let you preview seatmates</li><li>Passive-aggressive airplane survival strategies</li><li>Pajamas, presentation, and parenting standards</li><li>Sleepovers, pull-ups, and crimes against plumbing</li></ul><p>If you’ve ever said *“not in this house”* — congratulations, you’re one of us.</p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby #parentingpodcasts #funnyparents #crocs #airportcomedy #parentingboundaries #millennialparents  #comedypodcast</p><p>---</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, gasp, or aggressively agree:</p><p>👍 Like the episode</p><p>💬 Comment with your own *“not in this house”* rule</p><p>🔔 Subscribe so we can keep saying the quiet parts out loud</p><p>📤 Share this with a parent who lets their kid wear Crocs</p><p>We’re not saying we’re right — We’re just saying we’re consistent.</p><p>---</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 6: No Crocs, No Poop &amp; Airline Rage | Hold My Baby</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:32:26</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>This episode starts with smiling anger (the most dangerous kind), detours into crying on airplanes, and somehow lands squarely on **why Crocs are ruining society**, why airline seating should come with photos, and why **your child is absolutely not allowed to poop in our house**.</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>This episode starts with smiling anger (the most dangerous kind), detours into crying on airplanes, and somehow lands squarely on **why Crocs are ruining society**, why airline seating should come with photos, and why **your child is absolutely not allowed to poop in our house**.</itunes:subtitle>
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      <itunes:episode>6</itunes:episode>
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      <title>Ep 5: School Rules, YouTube Kids &amp; Parenting Without a Manual</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids, fear school administrators, and are just trying to survive modern life with our dignity (and credit score) intact. This episode starts with a brutally honest breakdown of **how much money it costs to look like a woman over 40**, spirals into YouTube phrases your kids should *never* repeat at school, and somehow ends with school lunch rules that feel like minimum-security prison. </p><p>Erik and Kira get into: </p><ul><li>Why beauty routines should be covered by insurance </li><li>White teachers panicking, parents clarifying, principals saving the day </li><li>Schools micromanaging kids like inmates </li><li>Safety supervisors who are allergic to logic </li><li>Sex-ed videos we now desperately want to watch If you’ve ever thought </li></ul><p>— welcome home.</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or whisper *“yep, that tracks”*: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment with **your Hold My Baby moment** 🔔 Subscribe so we can keep parenting out loud 📤 Share this with another parent who hates school emails We’re not perfect parents — but we are paying attention. You can also follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/erikriveracomedy/ https://www.instagram.com/kiracomedy/</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 13 Jan 2026 08:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-5-X4yV8AI_</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to **Hold My Baby**, the parenting podcast where we love our kids, fear school administrators, and are just trying to survive modern life with our dignity (and credit score) intact. This episode starts with a brutally honest breakdown of **how much money it costs to look like a woman over 40**, spirals into YouTube phrases your kids should *never* repeat at school, and somehow ends with school lunch rules that feel like minimum-security prison. </p><p>Erik and Kira get into: </p><ul><li>Why beauty routines should be covered by insurance </li><li>White teachers panicking, parents clarifying, principals saving the day </li><li>Schools micromanaging kids like inmates </li><li>Safety supervisors who are allergic to logic </li><li>Sex-ed videos we now desperately want to watch If you’ve ever thought </li></ul><p>— welcome home.</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or whisper *“yep, that tracks”*: 👍 Like the episode 💬 Comment with **your Hold My Baby moment** 🔔 Subscribe so we can keep parenting out loud 📤 Share this with another parent who hates school emails We’re not perfect parents — but we are paying attention. You can also follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/erikriveracomedy/ https://www.instagram.com/kiracomedy/</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 5: School Rules, YouTube Kids &amp; Parenting Without a Manual</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:29:49</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>This episode starts with a brutally honest breakdown of **how much money it costs to look like a woman over 40**, spirals into YouTube phrases your kids should *never* repeat at school, and somehow ends with school lunch rules that feel like minimum-security prison.
</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>This episode starts with a brutally honest breakdown of **how much money it costs to look like a woman over 40**, spirals into YouTube phrases your kids should *never* repeat at school, and somehow ends with school lunch rules that feel like minimum-security prison.
</itunes:subtitle>
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      <title>Ep 4: Trench Coats, Big Feelings &amp; ‘Not In My House’ Parenting</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to <strong>Hold My Baby</strong>, the parenting podcast where instincts kick in, patience runs out, and somebody is always about to fight… <i>politely</i>.</p><p>This episode starts with a classic <strong>Hold My Baby moment</strong>: a kid in a full black leather trench coat, gloves, and Terminator sunglasses… in <strong>70-degree Southern California weather</strong>. From there, Eric and Chiara spiral (responsibly) into parenting instincts, emo kids, trench coats, “big feelings,” and why <strong>some things are simply “not in my house.”</strong></p><p>We also get into:</p><ul><li>When parental intuition overrides “don’t judge”</li><li>The difference between self-expression and warning signs</li><li>Why parents need to do a quick up-and-down before kids leave the house</li><li>Emo phases, theater kids, and The Cure trauma</li><li>Playdates ruined by “big feelings”</li><li>Complaining about cake at a fancy restaurant (a crime)</li><li>How to shut things down <i>outside</i> the restaurant</li><li>Locker room selfies at hot yoga (straight to jail)</li></ul><p>If you’ve ever thought <i>“I feel bad… but also absolutely not”</i> — congratulations, this episode is for you.</p><p>#HoldMyBaby<br />#ParentingPodcast<br />#FunnyParents<br />#BigFeelings<br />#GentleParenting<br />#ModernParents<br />#ComedyPodcast<br />#ParentingBoundaries<br />#RaisingKids</p><h2> </h2>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 6 Jan 2026 08:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-4-OI63070P</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to <strong>Hold My Baby</strong>, the parenting podcast where instincts kick in, patience runs out, and somebody is always about to fight… <i>politely</i>.</p><p>This episode starts with a classic <strong>Hold My Baby moment</strong>: a kid in a full black leather trench coat, gloves, and Terminator sunglasses… in <strong>70-degree Southern California weather</strong>. From there, Eric and Chiara spiral (responsibly) into parenting instincts, emo kids, trench coats, “big feelings,” and why <strong>some things are simply “not in my house.”</strong></p><p>We also get into:</p><ul><li>When parental intuition overrides “don’t judge”</li><li>The difference between self-expression and warning signs</li><li>Why parents need to do a quick up-and-down before kids leave the house</li><li>Emo phases, theater kids, and The Cure trauma</li><li>Playdates ruined by “big feelings”</li><li>Complaining about cake at a fancy restaurant (a crime)</li><li>How to shut things down <i>outside</i> the restaurant</li><li>Locker room selfies at hot yoga (straight to jail)</li></ul><p>If you’ve ever thought <i>“I feel bad… but also absolutely not”</i> — congratulations, this episode is for you.</p><p>#HoldMyBaby<br />#ParentingPodcast<br />#FunnyParents<br />#BigFeelings<br />#GentleParenting<br />#ModernParents<br />#ComedyPodcast<br />#ParentingBoundaries<br />#RaisingKids</p><h2> </h2>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 4: Trench Coats, Big Feelings &amp; ‘Not In My House’ Parenting</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:29:36</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>This episode starts with a classic Hold My Baby moment: a kid in a full black leather trench coat, gloves, and Terminator sunglasses… in 70-degree Southern California weather. From there, Eric and Chiara spiral (responsibly) into parenting instincts, emo kids, trench coats, “big feelings,” and why some things are simply “not in my house.”</itunes:summary>
      <itunes:subtitle>This episode starts with a classic Hold My Baby moment: a kid in a full black leather trench coat, gloves, and Terminator sunglasses… in 70-degree Southern California weather. From there, Eric and Chiara spiral (responsibly) into parenting instincts, emo kids, trench coats, “big feelings,” and why some things are simply “not in my house.”</itunes:subtitle>
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      <title>Ep 3: Disneyland Range</title>
      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where we love our kids deeply… and are absolutely exhausted by them.</p><p> </p><p>In this episode, Erik and Kira tackle Disneyland chaos, stroller etiquette crimes, screen-obsessed children, video game addiction, and why 5:30 a.m. is not a reasonable time to play Roblox like a hedge fund manager. From leash backpacks (no), to stroller-sized teenagers (also no), to comedy audiences who demand to speak to the manager — this one is pure parental rage therapy.</p><p> </p><p>We also get into:</p><p>* Stroller kids with mortgages</p><p>* Phones, babies, and losing faith in humanity</p><p>* Roblox, “admin abuse,” and digital capitalism for children</p><p>* Comedy audiences, offended strangers & automated apology emails</p><p>* Why comedy is like lactose intolerance — it’s not for everyone</p><p> </p><p>If you’ve ever thought “Am I the bad guy here?” — congratulations, this episode is for you.</p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby  #parentingpodcasts #disneyland #screentime #millennialparents #funnyparents #comedypodcast #roblox #parenting #raisingkids</p><p>---</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or whisper *“thank god it’s not just me”*:</p><p> </p><p>👍 Like the episode</p><p>💬 Comment with the parenting hill you’re willing to die on</p><p>🔔 Subscribe so we can continue judging behavior together</p><p>📤 Share with another parent who hates strollers but loves their kids</p><p> </p><p>We’re not perfect parents — but we are consistent, opinionated, and caffeinated.</p><p>---</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2025 08:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/3-y_BhpgY9</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome back to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where we love our kids deeply… and are absolutely exhausted by them.</p><p> </p><p>In this episode, Erik and Kira tackle Disneyland chaos, stroller etiquette crimes, screen-obsessed children, video game addiction, and why 5:30 a.m. is not a reasonable time to play Roblox like a hedge fund manager. From leash backpacks (no), to stroller-sized teenagers (also no), to comedy audiences who demand to speak to the manager — this one is pure parental rage therapy.</p><p> </p><p>We also get into:</p><p>* Stroller kids with mortgages</p><p>* Phones, babies, and losing faith in humanity</p><p>* Roblox, “admin abuse,” and digital capitalism for children</p><p>* Comedy audiences, offended strangers & automated apology emails</p><p>* Why comedy is like lactose intolerance — it’s not for everyone</p><p> </p><p>If you’ve ever thought “Am I the bad guy here?” — congratulations, this episode is for you.</p><p>---</p><p>#holdmybaby  #parentingpodcasts #disneyland #screentime #millennialparents #funnyparents #comedypodcast #roblox #parenting #raisingkids</p><p>---</p><p>If this episode made you laugh, nod aggressively, or whisper *“thank god it’s not just me”*:</p><p> </p><p>👍 Like the episode</p><p>💬 Comment with the parenting hill you’re willing to die on</p><p>🔔 Subscribe so we can continue judging behavior together</p><p>📤 Share with another parent who hates strollers but loves their kids</p><p> </p><p>We’re not perfect parents — but we are consistent, opinionated, and caffeinated.</p><p>---</p>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 3: Disneyland Range</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
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      <itunes:summary>In this episode, Erik and Kira tackle Disneyland chaos, stroller etiquette crimes, screen-obsessed children, video game addiction, and why 5:30 a.m. is not a reasonable time to play Roblox like a hedge fund manager. From leash backpacks (no), to stroller-sized teenagers (also no), to comedy audiences who demand to speak to the manager — this one is pure parental rage therapy.
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      <description><![CDATA[<p><strong>Welcome back</strong> to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where comedy, trauma, and absolutely zero HR oversight collide. It's Episode 2, comedians and parents Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich attempt to talk about “the talk” — and immediately derail into debates about whiteness, puberty horror stories, Netflix parental controls, Pentecostal church trauma, dating rules, and why strict parenting is basically a launchpad for chaos. </p><p><strong>You’ll hear:</strong></p><ul><li>What happens when parents delay “the talk” (spoiler: the internet wins)</li><li>Cultural identity confusion -Why shared Netflix accounts are a federal crime</li><li>How religious trauma shapes parenting</li><li>The real reason comics talk to strangers in Whole Foods</li><li>Why letting your kids fail might be the healthiest option</li></ul><p><strong>If you’re a parent, former kid, or someone actively avoiding both — welcome. You belong here.</strong></p><p><strong>If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or rethink your childhood: </strong></p><ul><li>Subscribe so you don’t miss future emotional unpacking</li><li>Comment with your own parenting or upbringing horror stories </li><li>Share this with someone who needs validation or therapy</li></ul>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 23 Dec 2025 11:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/2-KnI_OxYx</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Welcome back</strong> to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where comedy, trauma, and absolutely zero HR oversight collide. It's Episode 2, comedians and parents Erik Rivera and Kira Soltanovich attempt to talk about “the talk” — and immediately derail into debates about whiteness, puberty horror stories, Netflix parental controls, Pentecostal church trauma, dating rules, and why strict parenting is basically a launchpad for chaos. </p><p><strong>You’ll hear:</strong></p><ul><li>What happens when parents delay “the talk” (spoiler: the internet wins)</li><li>Cultural identity confusion -Why shared Netflix accounts are a federal crime</li><li>How religious trauma shapes parenting</li><li>The real reason comics talk to strangers in Whole Foods</li><li>Why letting your kids fail might be the healthiest option</li></ul><p><strong>If you’re a parent, former kid, or someone actively avoiding both — welcome. You belong here.</strong></p><p><strong>If this episode made you laugh, cringe, or rethink your childhood: </strong></p><ul><li>Subscribe so you don’t miss future emotional unpacking</li><li>Comment with your own parenting or upbringing horror stories </li><li>Share this with someone who needs validation or therapy</li></ul>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 2: The Talk</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:28:46</itunes:duration>
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      <description><![CDATA[<p>Welcome to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where two comedians with multiple kids and even more unresolved trauma try to explain how we all got here. In this episode, Eric Rivera and Kira Soltanovich unpack modern parenting, gentle parenting, spelling bees, autocorrect-raised teenagers, and why today’s kids seem allergic to sarcasm, consequences, and basic humor. </p><p>This is not a parenting advice show. This is a survival support group with microphones. If you’ve ever thought: “Am I raising a child… or a future coworker who emails like ‘sent from toaster’?” Congratulations. This episode is for you.</p>
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Tue, 16 Dec 2025 04:35:25 +0000</pubDate>
      <author>alex@pettycashstudios.com (Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich)</author>
      <link>https://hold-my-baby.simplecast.com/episodes/ep-1-kira-is-erik-backwards-MLrdhGH5</link>
      <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome to Hold My Baby, the parenting podcast where two comedians with multiple kids and even more unresolved trauma try to explain how we all got here. In this episode, Eric Rivera and Kira Soltanovich unpack modern parenting, gentle parenting, spelling bees, autocorrect-raised teenagers, and why today’s kids seem allergic to sarcasm, consequences, and basic humor. </p><p>This is not a parenting advice show. This is a survival support group with microphones. If you’ve ever thought: “Am I raising a child… or a future coworker who emails like ‘sent from toaster’?” Congratulations. This episode is for you.</p>
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      <itunes:title>Ep 1: Kira Is Erik Backwards</itunes:title>
      <itunes:author>Alex Alvarez, Erik Rivera, Kira Soltanovich</itunes:author>
      <itunes:duration>00:32:46</itunes:duration>
      <itunes:summary>Inaugural Episode</itunes:summary>
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