We’ll talk about what softness is (and what it’s not), how femininity is rooted in our relationship with God, and what it takes to let go of old patterns so you can attract love that actually aligns with your desires.

If you’ve ever found yourself retreating just when love gets close, this episode will help you see the pattern, name it, and start breaking free.

In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach Podcast, Stacey explores:

🌸 What softness really means (beyond pastel colors and pretty aesthetics)

🙅🏽‍♀️ The myths around femininity and vulnerability

💔 How her fearful-avoidant attachment style led to pulling away from a man she actually wanted

🌀 The “Self-Sabotage Loop” that keeps women stuck in cycles of retreat and protection

✨ The counteractions you can take to interrupt those patterns and invite real connection

🙏🏽 Why softness is not weakness but a spiritual posture rooted in God

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Why the “I deserve it all” mindset can keep you single and frustrated

The 80/20 rule for dating and how to apply it

The difference between attraction and character—and why both matter

How to identify your core values so you stop dating in circles

The one question to ask yourself before deciding to stay or leave a relationship

Resources Mentioned:

[The List Ebook] (Click Here) – Your guide to identifying red, yellow, and green flags so you date with clarity.

In this episode, I’m sharing what it feels like to sit in the in-between: the space where desire is loud, but God’s instruction is “rest.” Where everything in me wants answers, timelines, and action—but God keeps inviting me into stillness and trust.

I’ll talk about:

The emotional tug of letting go of a life plan that wasn’t mine

How I’m learning to trust that pulling back isn’t punishment—it’s positioning

The grief, frustration, and peace that coexist in the pause

Why your checklist might be keeping you from your clarity

This episode is a permission slip—for the woman who’s tired of striving, who’s ready to hear from God again, and who’s brave enough to believe that waiting well is still movement.

You’re not stuck.
You’re not late.
You’re being prepared.

In this episode, I’m inviting you into the exact conversation I had with God about my desires—no filters, no shame. From the pressures of the invisible clock to the temptation to "settle just a little," we’re talking about it all.

We’ll walk through:

Why vague prayers lead to vague results

The Exodus blueprint that inspired The List

What it looks like to cancel out confusion and only entertain clarity

How to reject “I’m just trying to see” energy—because you’re not a maybe

And the real reason specificity builds belief

Plus, I’ll share 3 tangible ways I’m showing up in dating now that I’ve gotten clear—with myself, with God, and with potential partners.

🛠️ Resources Mentioned:

📝 The List E-Book: Your guided tool to name your dating desires with clarity & boldness (https://www.colormetherapyllc.com/shop)

💬 Join the Bold Dating Community: [Insert link]

🎧 Share this with a friend who’s tired of dating in limbo

In this episode, we’re reviving your prayer life—not with empty platitudes, but with purpose, clarity, and faith that doesn’t waver when things get dry. I’m breaking down how to shift your prayer language, what it means to truly ask for a Boaz and be ready for him, and why consistency in your spiritual ask is just as important as alignment in your daily actions.

This is not about begging or bargaining with God. It’s about standing in bold belief, refining your request, and praying like a woman who knows she's already heard.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Why your love life feels stuck even though you’ve been praying

How to get clear and specific in your request to God (no more vague or fear-filled prayers)

The mindset shift from desperation to confident expectation

The importance of language in your prayers—what you’re really saying vs. what you think you’re saying

How to remain persistent without growing weary or discouraged

Connect With Me:
📲 Follow me on IG https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/
💌 Book your Discovery Call Staceybessard.com

We’re talking about solo dating—what it is, why it matters, and why you might be avoiding it. Whether it’s lack of time, not knowing where to go, or lowkey being bitter about doing it alone—this episode is your loving push to reclaim your time, your joy, and your standards.

I even share my personal solo adventure to Madrid and how it unlocked a version of me I would’ve never met if I waited for a relationship.

By the end of this episode, you’ll be ready to put on your cute dress, plan a date with YOU, and show up for yourself in a whole new way.

In this episode, we dive into:

Why solo dating increases your magnetism

The real reason you say you “don’t have time”

How past generations missed out on this confidence tool

3 reasons you may be avoiding solo dates (and how to shift that today)

Stacey’s story of solo traveling to Madrid after heartbreak—and why she’s better for it

What solo dates teach you that brunch and scrolling never will

📥 DOWNLOAD THIS

👉 Grab your Free Solo Date Ideas List with 20+ cute date ideas from easy to adventurous: [ Date You First: Solo Date Experience Guide]

💌 Let’s Stay Connected

If this episode blessed you, screenshot and share it on IG stories and tag me [@staceybessard]!
And if you're ready to go deeper in discovering your magnetic presence, check out my 12-week coaching program: Magnetic Presence

This isn’t about striving, performing, or being busy for the sake of it. It’s about stepping into alignment with who God has called you to be—so what you’re waiting for is drawn to you naturally, not stressfully.

🔑 What You’ll Learn:

What waiting on God is—and what it isn’t

How spiritualized procrastination may be keeping you stuck

Why inner posture matters more than passive positioning

A powerful story of what happened when I aligned with my authentic self

How to prepare for love while still living fully

Practical ways to fill your calendar with aligned, magnetic moments

A presence practice you can use this week to move from frustration to flow

🧠 Journal Prompts to Reflect On:

What am I doing in my life right now that reflects trust in God’s timing?

Have I unintentionally used “waiting on God” as a spiritual excuse to hide?

What are five things I love doing that bring me joy outside of dating?

How can I start showing up in those spaces more often?

Am I aligned with the version of me my future partner is praying for?

✨ Mini Challenge:

Create your magnetic moment calendar.
List your top 5 interests. Find events, classes, or experiences aligned with them. Add at least one to your calendar this week. Then go—and be fully present.

📌 Mentioned in This Episode:

Elegance Unleashed Coaching – 1:1 support to align with the woman who attracts what she desires

Real-life story: How I met a guy when I wasn’t looking—but was in full alignment

IG Poll results: What women really think about waiting on God

📲 Stay Connected:

Let’s keep the conversation going:
→ IG: @staceybessard
→ DM me “WAITING” if this episode hit home and you’re ready for your magnetic shift.

🎧 Listen Now:

Apple Podcasts | Spotify 

This episode is perfect for the woman who:

1. Feels like she has “no time” to date
2. Is tired of going to loud bars and forced events
3. Wants to meet quality men organically, while enjoying life on her terms

You’ll hear:

1. Where to go Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (plus a Sabbath-friendly bonus idea)
2. What to wear so you feel confident, feminine, and like her
3. Easy ways to start a conversation—even if it feels awkward
4. Why these locations work, even if you don’t meet “the one” this weekend

Because dating doesn’t have to be a drag. It can be joyful, elegant, and completely in alignment with the woman you’re becoming.

💡 Takeaways:

Dating works when you are present, positioned, and playful.

It’s not about chasing, it’s about placing yourself where alignment lives.

Even if you don’t meet “him” this weekend, you build confidence, joy, and self-trust by showing up for you.

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

Episode: Flirting 101 – 3 Tips to Be Magnetic Today

Local event sites (search your city’s museum events, hotel bar calendars, and farmers markets)

💬 Let’s Connect!

💌 Join my email list for bold dating tips and resources

📸 Follow me on Instagram: @thebougiedatingcoach

📆 Book a session or join one of my live workshops at www.staceybessard.com

🎧 Listen now and turn your boring weekend into a bougie love-magnet adventure. You deserve a love that feels aligned, exciting, and deeply satisfying.

💋 Stay Bougie & Happy Dating,
Stacey

Let’s make sure you're not sending friend vibes when your heart is ready for something more.

✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode

Why you might be coming off more “church professional” than magnetic and flirty

My Signature Flirt Combo: soft eyes, a gentle smile, a caught-off-guard compliment, and a light touch

How to create flirtatious moments that feel natural, not forced

The exact phrases to use that open the door without chasing

The difference between being inviting vs. being too guarded

Why you must align with your most authentic self to attract aligned connections

💡 Power Takeaways

Flirting is not performance, it’s energy: When you soften your body, energy, and tone—you create space for a man to pursue.

Soft eyes are your secret weapon: Learn to drop the forehead tension and let your feminine energy lead.

Compliments are conversation starters: Use unexpected compliments to open the door—without losing your mystery.

Confidence is magnetic: You don’t have to prove anything. Your presence is the message.

💅🏽 Bougie Bonus Tip

“Flirting isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing less with more intention.”
Inside Elegance Unleashed, I teach my clients how to embody softness, boldness, and alignment in their dating lives. We practice this on live calls until it becomes second nature. Want in? [staceybessard.com]

🔗 Links & Resources

💖 Apply for Elegance Unleashed: [Apply Here]

💌 Join my email list for weekly bougie dating gems: [https://stacey-bessard.kit.com/2d88ae710e]

📱Follow me on IG: @stacey.bessard

🎧 Listener Love?

If this episode helped you see flirting differently, leave a 5-star rating and share it with a friend who's ready to be seen and pursued!

We explore how your money mindset and overworking habits are linked to unhealed wounds—and how those wounds are dimming your magnetism. You’ll learn how constantly being in provider mode can put you in a masculine energy loop that repels the kind of love you desire.

If your schedule is full but your heart feels disconnected, this is your gentle nudge to pause, reflect, and release. Let’s talk about surrender, softness, and creating space for the love you truly want.

JOIN my Newsletter: Join The Elegance Unleashed Community- https://stacey-bessard.kit.com/2d88ae710e

Follow Me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/

Book a Discovery Call: staceybessard.com

Follow Me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/

Book a consultation: staceybessard.com

Follow me on IG- https://www.instagram.com/staceybessard/ 

Follow me on TIKTOK- https://www.tiktok.com/@datingwithstacey?lang=en

In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach Podcast, we’re tackling the pressure to rush your dating journey and settling into the peace of God’s perfect timing. Stacey Bessard shares biblical insights, real-life truths, and practical advice to help you embrace patience while remaining intentional and confident.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• The importance of not rushing through your dating journey by drawing lessons from the story of Mary and Martha.
• Why you’re not desperate—and how to stand in your worth without settling.
• How to release the scarcity mindset and trust that the inventory isn’t running out.
• Why it’s not about finding everyone—it’s about finding the one.
• Actionable ways to make the most of your season:
  • Be present for yourself now.
  • Take intentional breaks when dating feels overwhelming.
  • Create a life and environment that reflects the future you’re building.

Quotes to Remember:

• “You’re not desperate. You’re already whole, worthy, and enough.”
• “The right person for you isn’t running out—they’re aligning with your journey.”
• “Good things take time. Great things take intention. And all you need is one.”

Your Next Steps:

• Reflect on your own dating journey. Are you rushing, or are you present?
• Start making intentional changes to align with the life and love you desire.
• Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that it’s okay to slow down.

Resources for You:

• Elegance Unleashed – Elevate your magnetism and prepare for the love you deserve.
• Follow Stacey on Instagram @StaceyBessard for more dating tips and inspiration.

Connect with Stacey:

• Instagram: @StaceyBessard
• Website: StaceyBessard.com
• Email: unconservativechristianbougie@gmail.com

Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode to spread the love and help more women date boldly and unapologetically!

📢 Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

• Dating Glow Up Masterclass: Ready to elevate your magnetism and create a dating life that reflects your highest self? Join us for this transformative experience! Registration Opening soon! 

Let’s Connect:

• Follow me on Instagram: [@StaceyBessard]
• Share your top non-negotiables with me—tag me in your posts or stories!
• Subscribe and leave a review if this episode resonated with you.

New episodes drop every Thursday! Let’s keep building a bold, colorful, and aligned dating life together. 💖

• Why focusing solely on marriage can lead to frustration and neglecting yourself.
• How prioritizing your growth and fulfillment enhances your magnetism and clarity.
• Practical steps to focus on you, including setting boundaries, detoxing your life, and pursuing your passions.
• Encouragement to trust God’s timing and embrace the beauty of your current season.

Vision Board Material Links:

https://a.co/d/eBlXfAV

https://a.co/d/jciledl

https://a.co/d/0ga0j6r

FB Community: Elegance Unleashed 

 https://www.facebook.com/share/g/15UGFXwJMR/

Key Takeaways

Why We Reach Back to an Ex:

• Emotional bonds and familiarity can feel safe, even if they’re unhealthy.
• Nostalgia and selective memory can cloud our judgment and make the past seem better than it was.
• Fear of loneliness often convinces us to settle rather than face the uncertainty of new beginnings.

Staying Strong and Moving On:

• Set Boundaries: Create space by limiting or eliminating contact with your ex.
• Challenge Your Perspective: Reflect on why the relationship ended and what you truly need in a healthy connection.
• Prioritize Self-Care: Reclaim your energy by focusing on personal growth and fulfilling activities.
• Lean on Your Support System: Surround yourself with friends, family, or a therapist for accountability and encouragement.
• Envision Your Future: Stay grounded in your worth and focused on the relationship you deserve.

Featured Highlights:

• A heartfelt listener story about breaking free from the “on-again, off-again” cycle.
• A guided exercise to help you detach emotionally and create a vision for your future relationships.
• Practical tools for overcoming moments of weakness when tempted to reach back.

Episode Challenge

This week’s challenge is to take a step toward closure. Write a list of the top three reasons your last relationship ended and how letting go aligns with your future goals. Share your progress on Instagram using the hashtag #SoberFromTheEx and tag me for a chance to be featured!

Resources Mentioned:

• Book Recommendation: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.

Thank you for listening! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

Follow me:

• Instagram: @coachstaceyb
• Podcast Page: Bougie Dating Coach Podcast

Red Flags and Green Lights in Dating: How to Spot the Difference and Choose Alignment

Episode Overview:

In this episode, we’re exploring the subtle yet powerful signals that guide our dating journeys. From recognizing the red flags that disrupt our peace to embracing the green lights we often overlook, this conversation will help you navigate dating with clarity, confidence, and intention.

Main Topics Covered:

1. Understanding Red Flags

• Definition: Behaviors or patterns that indicate misalignment, disrespect, or potential harm.
• Common Red Flags:
  • Inconsistency (words don’t match actions).
  • Disregard for boundaries.
  • Emotional unavailability or defensiveness.
  • Lack of accountability or dismissive behavior.
• Reflection:
  • Red flags often align with unresolved issues in ourselves.
  • Are you tolerating red flags because they feel familiar or because you’re avoiding loneliness?

2. Decoding Green Lights

• Definition: Traits and behaviors that reflect stability, kindness, and alignment.
• Common Green Lights:
  • Emotional availability and open communication.
  • Consistency in words and actions.
  • Respect for boundaries and values.
  • Encouragement and support for your growth.
• Why We Ignore Them:
  • They may feel “boring” compared to drama-filled connections.
  • Low self-worth can make us question whether we deserve such positive treatment.

3. Mindset Shifts for Dating with Clarity

• Embracing Your Desires: It’s okay to want stability and peace in your relationships.
• Self-Worth and Deserving Love: How opening your heart to yourself first helps you stop settling for less.
• Trusting Your Intuition: Your gut often spots red flags before your heart does – listen to it.

Key Takeaways:

• Red Flags: Acknowledge and act on them early – they signal what’s not aligned with your values and needs.
• Green Lights: Start celebrating them! Healthy relationships don’t have to be boring – they’re where true love grows.
• Focus on Alignment: Prioritize partners who reflect the love, respect, and peace you’ve cultivated within yourself.

Call to Action:

1. Reflect on the red flags and green lights you’ve encountered in your past relationships.
2. Ask yourself: What am I attracting based on my own internal positioning?
3. Share your thoughts or stories on social media and tag me @Coachstaceyb

Resources 

Access the e-book "The List: Getting to know you, while finding the one for you

https://www.colormetherapyllc.com/shop

In this episode of The Bougie Dating Coach, Stacey Bessard explores what it means to date boldly and confidently in your 30s. She shares personal stories, practical advice, and faith-based insights to help single Christian women navigate dating with clarity and intention. This episode covers how to own your journey, the power of clarity, and how faith can be a guiding force in dating decisions. If you’re ready to embrace this phase with a strong sense of self and purpose, tune in and take your dating life to the next level!

Key Takeaways

• Confidence as a Superpower: Walk into dates knowing your worth. Confidence doesn’t mean arrogance; it’s about understanding your value and aligning with people who appreciate it.
• Clarity Attracts Alignment: Be clear about what you want in a relationship. Communicating your values and boundaries up front can save time and help you find the right match.
• Embrace the Process: Remember, dating is a journey. Each date offers a chance to learn more about yourself and refine your relationship goals.
• Faith and Boldness: Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in God’s plan. Relying on faith and praying for discernment can help you make empowered, spiritually aligned decisions.

Listener Question

“How do I stay motivated to keep dating when I feel like I’m not meeting anyone who aligns with my values?”
Stacey’s Advice: Take breaks when you need them, but stay open. Every experience is part of the journey, and God’s timing is always perfect.

Episode Highlights

• [2:00] - Stacey’s personal story about learning clarity and alignment on a date in her 30s.
• [8:15] - Tips on dating boldly: confidence, clarity, and embracing the journey.
• [14:30] - How faith shapes our dating approach as Christian women.
• [18:00] - Listener question about staying motivated in dating and Stacey’s response.

Quotes

• “Dating boldly is about standing in your truth and knowing your worth.”
• “Clarity attracts clarity. Be clear about your values and boundaries.”
• “Trust that God’s timing is perfect, and He’s guiding you to the right person at the right time.”

Resources Mentioned

• Bible Verse: Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trusting in God’s guidance and timing.
• Follow Stacey on Instagram: @CoachStaceyB for more dating tips and inspiration.

Next Episode

Tune in next week as Stacey dives into “Red Flags and Green Lights: How to Spot the Difference in Dating.” You’ll learn to spot the signs that show whether someone is aligned or not—an episode you won’t want to miss!

If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends. Don’t forget to follow Stacey on Instagram @CoachStaceyb for more insights and updates. Stay bold, live colorfully, and keep attracting what aligns!