The WinShape Marriage Podcast

A Marriage Story: The Oldhams

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 1 Apr 2026 15:15:00 +0000

On today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, we are sharing our fourth and final marriage story for this season. Marlee Arnold sits down with John and Stephanie Oldham, a WinShape Marriage Host Couple. They begin by describing parts of their childhoods, in which they experienced many similarities that affected their abilities to form healthy relationships. Ultimately, they met one another and walked through their own peaks and valleys in their marriage relationship—resulting in a testimony filled with hope and healing. We pray this conversation encourages your marriage. As a reminder, if you want to learn more about sharing your own marriage story and engaging with other married couples in your sphere of influence, consider attending one of our Marriage Discipleship Training programs. Links below.

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Links:

Marriage Discipleship https://marriage.winshape.org/discipleship/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Relevant Episodes:

A Marriage Story: The Robys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXYJcpoRH0Q&t=2s

A Marriage Story: The Gables https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8rAohs1bYE&t=8s

A Marriage Story: The Sharpes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pb6roIdkOY&t=18s

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How To Build a Love That Laughs | Ted Cunningham

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 25 Mar 2026 16:30:00 +0000

Ecclesiastes 9:9 begins by saying, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love...” You’ve got to tune in to today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast featuring pastor, marriage author and speaker, and comedian Ted Cunningham. He breaks down this verse so eloquently, truly helping couples understand, “Jesus is your source, Satan is your enemy, and your spouse is your companion,” and it’s possible to enjoy life with your spouse whom you love! With 30 years of marriage under his belt, Ted has learned what it means to consider his wife, Amy, his companion and how to walk on the lighter side of life alongside her. If you want to learn how to build a love that laughs and experience a higher level of marital satisfaction, check out this episode.

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Time Stamps:

(1:55) Ted Cunningham’s background

(5:28) What inspired Ted to write, “A Love That Laughs”

(8:42) Why Ted believes we generally adhere to the perspective that, “Life is hard.”

(15:43) 1 – 2 ways Ted uses humor/laughter to lighten the load of everyday life

(21:23) How to build a marriage foundation on genuinely enjoying each other versus enduring each other

(25:46) “I’m not funny...” Where do I start when it comes to incorporating humor/laughter into my marriage

(31:19) Ted’s go-to way to make his wife, Amy, laugh

(34:54) Other works by Ted

(36:12) How to make laughter a key element in your family

(39:42) One key takeaway from this conversation

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Links:

“A Love That Laughs” https://www.amazon.com/Love-That-Laughs-Lighten-Together/dp/1589977084/

“Greater Joy Twogether” https://www.amazon.com/Greater-Joy-TWOgether-Marriage-Devotional/dp/0830785272/

Woodland Hills Family Church https://www.woodhills.org/

A Love That Laughs WinShape Marriage Retreat Nov. 6 – 8, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/a-love-that-laughs-november-2026/

Serving Marriages https://servingmarriages.com/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Should We Go to a Marriage Intensive? | Dr. Peter & Heather Larson

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 17:45:00 +0000

In today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, we are peeling back the layers on Marriage Intensives. What are they? Should you and your spouse go to one? How are they different from traditional marriage counseling? What’s the history behind Marriage Intensives? We’re unpacking it all with Dr. Peter Larson, brand-new senior director of WinShape Marriage, and his wife, Heather, certified marriage coach. If you’ve ever been at all curious about Marriage Intensives, thought you’d like to attend one, or wondered if you and your spouse were the right fit, you’ll love this episode and get a firmer grasp on all the Marriage Intensive experience has to offer.

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Time Stamps:

(1:22) Dr. Peter and Heather Larson's background

(5:58) What is a Marriage Intensive?

(7:31) What is the difference between a Marriage Intensive and traditional marriage counseling?

(12:06) What is the history behind the Marriage Intensive model?

(26:38) Who are Marriage Intensives for?

(28:51) Who are Marriage Intensives NOT for?

(38:11) Advice for a couple where one spouse is not on board to attend a Marriage Intensive

(43:06) What happens after you leave a Marriage Intensive?

(51:43) One key takeaway from this conversation

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Intensives https://marriage.winshape.org/intensives/

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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The Power of Connection in Your Marriage | Dr. Greg & Erin Smalley

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 11 Mar 2026 13:30:00 +0000

Connection. Connection can feel like a marriage buzzword—being the center of so many marriage questions and pieces of advice. How do we stay “connected?” Make sure you and your spouse are “connecting.” Keep your marriage “connection” strong. Tune into today’s episode with Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley. They are the cohosts of the podcast, “Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage,” a Focus on the Family original, and they’ve been married for over 30 years. They talk with Marlee Arnold about this buzzword—connection—and how it is achievable for your marriage. Additionally, with only a high school senior left at home and the empty nest years rapidly approaching, they provide wisdom related to preparing for this new season of marriage and talk about “how soon is ‘too soon’ to prepare.” It’s a great, practical, down-to-earth conversation you don’t want to miss.

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Time Stamps:

(1:30) Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley’s background

(3:17) 1-2 things that are top of mind when you think about “connection as a couple”

(9:30) 1-2 personal examples of how the Smalleys have done well staying connected

(17:16) How have the Smalleys been preparing for the empty nest phase that is approaching

(32:10) How soon is “too soon” to be thinking about the empty nest

(39:56) How to approach the empty nest phase of marriage and the caring for aging parents phase of marriage well, simultaneously

(45:55) One key takeaway from this conversation

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Links:

Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage https://podcasts.focusonthefamily.com/show/crazy-little-thing-called-marriage/

Focus Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/focusmarriage/

Smalley Marriage https://www.smalleymarriage.com/

Focus on the Family https://www.focusonthefamily.com/

Vision for Your Marriage WinShape Marriage Retreat April 17 – 19, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/vision-for-your-marriage-april-2026/

“Learn How To Make a Daily Difference in Your Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/learn-how-to-make-a-simple-daily-difference-in-your-marriage/

“Marriage Expectations” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/marriage-expectations/

“25 Ideas: How To Reconnect With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/25-things-to-do-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse/

“What To Talk About With Your Spouse To Reconnect” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/what-to-talk-about-with-your-spouse-to-reconnect/

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Relevant Episodes:

The Secret Ingredient To Staying Connected https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdK9Mm-Qo4o&t=432s

The Truth Behind Marriage Expectations https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRc-G7VGnRo

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Talking About Money in Your Marriage | Ron Blue

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 4 Mar 2026 08:00:00 +0000

Money can be one of the biggest sources of tension in a marriage, but it doesn’t have to be. Ron Blue is a financial expert; he’s authored more than 20 books on personal finance from a biblical lens, devoting his life and career to helping Christians manage their finances so they have more to give away for the funding and fulfillment of The Great Commission. He joins Rob Philo on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast to discuss common friction points couple face when discussing finances. According to Ron, when you bring two people together, with different personalities, values, and goals, to “balance one checkbook,” it’s no wonder money management can be challenging. However, Ron’s extensive personal and professional experience provide practical wisdom throughout this conversation, leaving couples with a greater understanding of how to align their finances with their faith and how to navigate talking about money throughout the duration of their marriage.

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Time Stamps:

(1:20) Ron Blue’s background

(3:50) Why Ron thinks finances are such a big friction point for many couples

(6:43) Advice for couples who feel uncomfortable talking about money

(13:33) How couples can align their finances with their faith

(20:39) How Ron navigated the conversation around giving in his marriage

(25:30) Advice for couples who have a tight budget

(29:00) What are some big financial missteps couples make on a regular basis?

(32:43) How couples can navigate decision making around big financial decisions when they’re in different places

(1:00) One key takeaway from this conversation

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Links:

Ron Blue Institute https://ronblueinstitute.com/

“How To Talk About Finances Before Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-talk-about-finances-before-marriage/

“How To Manage Finances in a Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-manage-finances-in-a-marriage/

Gifting Money to Adult Children—What Do We Do? https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/gifting-money-to-adult-children-what-do-we-do/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Navigating Hard Seasons in Marriage | Chris & Jamie Bailey

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 25 Feb 2026 08:00:00 +0000

It’s not a question of “if” you and your spouse will experience hard seasons in your marriage but “when.” This isn’t meant to scare you—our desire is to come alongside you and your spouse now to help you build a strong foundation, so you’ll be resilient and capable of staying connected to one another even when you face challenges in your relationship. Chris and Jamie Bailey, Christian counselors and marriage coaches, join Rob Philo on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, providing insights around navigating difficulties alongside your spouse. Tune into this conversation—not because you're fearful but because you desire to be proactive and set you and your spouse up to be as successful as possible throughout the duration of your marriage.

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Time Stamps:

(:39) Chris and Jamie Bailey’s background

(1:11) The difference between a Christian marriage counselor and a Christian marriage coach

(4:20) In your experience, have you run into any couples who thought, “We are going to be completely fine,” and then, they get hit sideways?

(9:00) What are some side effects/signals people can look for to realize they are in a more challenging season?

(14:15) What was the dynamic like for you all (Chris and Jamie) trying to figure out each other and how you respond to stress?

(18:58) In a season that is stressful, how can couples stay connected?

(21:58) When it comes to bringing in an outside perspective, do you have any advice for someone who might be hesitant?

(26:15) What are some things you can be proactive about to set yourself up well when hard seasons come?

(31:22) How important is safety in your marriage?

(35:11) How important play is for your marriage, even outside of stressful seasons

(38:43) When you look back to where you were when you first got married, what is one piece of advice you would share with the younger version of yourself?

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Links:

Expedition Marriage https://expeditionmarriage.org/

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

“20 Good Games To Play With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/20-good-games-to-play-with-your-spouse/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Relevant Episodes:

The SECRET Ingredient To Staying Connected in Marriage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdK9Mm-Qo4o&t=419s

How To Navigate Grief in Marriage | Laurie Lokey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivswWSleOp0&t=1921s

Dealing With Stress and Anxiety in Marriage | Monique Wells https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OncYeR3tpg&t=2014s

What Does It Mean To Have an Emotionally Safe Marriage? | Dr. Joshua Straub https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8B-49TnMw8&t=5s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA&t=886s

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A Marriage Story: The Sharpes

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 08:00:00 +0000

We’re deep into season three of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, sharing our third marriage story today. Tommy and Shonda Sharpe, a WinShape Marriage Host Couple, join Marlee Arnold for this impactful episode. First, they share a bit about their personal testimonies and relationships with Jesus—how He has met each of them in their own faith journeys. Then, they talk through how they met one another, what they have experienced in their marriage thus far, and how the Lord continues to meet with them presently as they walk hand in hand together. We pray that you’ll be blessed by this conversation.

Note: This conversation is focused on God’s redemptive power and building a healthy, thriving marriage. If you are experiencing abuse in your marriage, or someone you know is, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. If you struggle with thoughts of suicide or self-harm, help and hope are available to you; please reach out to the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

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Answering Your Marriage Questions: 2026

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 11 Feb 2026 16:30:00 +0000

We haven’t done an official, generic Q&A since season one of The WinShape Marriage Podcast. So, we’re bringing it back today! There’s not a specific category or theme for today’s questions—just a little bit of everything—asked directly by you guys. We answer questions like, “How do we develop hobbies we would like to do together?”; “How do you overcome preconceived notions based on marriage examples you grew up with?”; “My spouse and I both want children, but people make it sound impossible and not worth it. Thoughts?”. If you’d like to hear thoughts from two people with two backgrounds but both with experience in marriage and family counseling, tune into today’s episode as they answer your marriage questions.

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Time Stamps:

(:25) Genee Francis’ and Jeremy Marshall’s backgrounds

(3:20) How do we prioritize time together while both of us have high stress, high time-consuming jobs?

(7:26) I struggle to have more of myself to give at the end of the workday. What do you recommend for making sure I still have room for my spouse?

(11:13) How do we play together when we like different things?

(14:55) How do we seek out or develop hobbies that we would like to do together?

(18:00) How do you overcome preconceived notions based on marriage examples you grew up with?

(20:04) How does having divorced parents affect the health and expectation of my marriage?

(21:55) I've heard from so many couples how hard parenting is. My spouse and I both want children, but people make it sound impossible and not worth it. Thoughts?

(29:25) What are your tips for a newly married couple who is expecting a baby sooner than they thought they would be? They have a fear of losing connection.

(33:59) Once children arrive, how do we stay connected to each other?

(39:26) How do we keep family opinions from influencing decisions together?

(45:05) My traditional Christian parents believe I should be submissive in my marriage rather than have an equal partnership. Am I wrong to disagree?

(49:38) When is it OK to go to marriage counseling? And what do you do if your spouse isn’t on the same page about getting help?

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Links:

“20 Good Games To Play With Your Spouse” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/20-good-games-to-play-with-your-spouse/

“Are We Ready for a Baby? 10 Questions To Ask Yourselves First” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/are-we-ready-for-a-baby/

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Relevant Episodes:

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA&t=886s

The SECRET Ingredient To Staying Connected in Marriage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdK9Mm-Qo4o&t=419s

How To Keep Your In-Laws From Becoming Out-Laws https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWSQcTmMYD0&t=1158s

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Practical Tips for Parents Who Want Their Kids To Know and Love Jesus

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 4 Feb 2026 14:30:00 +0000

You’re on a marriage journey with your spouse, but for many of you, you’re also on a parenting journey. It’s one thing to keep God at the center of your marriage, but it can be another thing to disciple your children alongside your spouse. How do you journey along this life-giving, but often challenging, endeavor? On today’s episode of the WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold is joined by Amy Lowe, who brings her personal experience as a wife of almost 20 years and a mom to two teenagers. However, she also has professional expertise in this topic to boot since Amy oversees WinShape Camps for Girls and WinShape Camps for Families. She shares openly from her experience about how her and her husband practically disciple their children, make God a natural part of their family rhythms, and balance this endeavor with the role of the church and other resources like camp. If you’re a parent who desires for your kids to know and love Jesus, you’ll thoroughly enjoy this conversation.

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Time Stamps:

(:56) Amy Lowe’s background

(3:35) By definition, what does it mean to disciple your children?

(5:40) What are some practical and tangible examples of how you disciple your children?

(9:46) How do you and your spouse get on the same team/remain on the same team in this discipleship endeavor

(13:12) How do you talk to your kids about God

(16:07) How you have made God a natural part of your conversations and rhythms in your family

(21:04) Any advice for parents in this discipleship endeavor who came to know the Lord as adults or grew up in homes where God was sequestered to Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings

(26:10) How do you balance what you’re doing in your home (discipling your children) versus what is being “outsourced”

(31:07) How do you pray with your kids

(33:49) What is the biggest prayer you find yourself praying for your kids

(35:36) One key takeaway from this conversation

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Links:

“The Jesus Storybook Bible” https://www.sallylloyd-jones.com/books/jesus-storybook-bible/

“How To Involve Kids in Prayer” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-involve-kids-in-prayer/

“How To Explain God to a Child” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-explain-god-to-a-child/

“Seven Simple Prayers To Pray for Your Spouse and Kids” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/seven-simple-prayers-to-pray-for-your-spouse-and-kids/

“Prayers for Adult Children” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/prayers-for-adult-children/ WinShape Camps Website https://camps.winshape.org/

WinShape Camps for Families https://camps.winshape.org/family-camps/

Carpool Conversations Podcast https://camps.winshape.org/carpool-conversations/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Answering Your Questions About Faith in Marriage

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 17:30:00 +0000

Is “spiritual leader” in the Bible? What does spiritual leadership look like practically? What are some ways we can cultivate a relationship with God in our marriage? We’re going strong with our Q&A episodes—answering your questions! We want to talk about what you are asking about, so on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast we unpack several questions related to faith in marriage with Jeremy Marshall, a favorite guest of y’all from last season. We talk through some of the “stickier” questions like understanding the terminology “spiritual leader,” providing insight into navigating seasons where you and your spouse aren’t on the same page in your faith walk, and really cultivating spiritual connectedness and intimacy in your marriage beyond the obvious—attending church and joining a small group. It’s a wonderful conversation that we pray blesses you and your marriage!

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Time Stamps:

(:50) Jeremy Marshall’s background

(2:12) Is “spiritual leader” in the Bible?

(5:43) What does spiritual leadership look like practically?

(11:50) How do you grapple through seasons where you and your spouse are in different places in your faith walk?

(15:10) For wives who want their husband to be more of a spiritual leader, what can they do?

(19:49) How to have connected spiritual life when you and your spouse both experience God differently

(26:15) What are some ways we can cultivate a relationship with God in our marriage?

(29:14) What should I be looking for in a good friend?

(31:22) How to best pray or read the Bible together and separately in marriage

(35:36) One key takeaway from this conversation

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Links:

“Seven Simple Prayers To Pray for Your Spouse and Kids” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/seven-simple-prayers-to-pray-for-your-spouse-and-kids/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Relevant Episodes:

Is It OK To Connect With God Differently Than My Spouse? | Gary Thomas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cinDyLNmFl0

Growing Your Relationship With God and Your Spouse in 2025 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcfI9tHeTh8&t=1401s

What Does Spiritual Leadership Mean, Anyway? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7g0T2-8izo&t=57s

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What Does Healthy Conflict Look Like? | Eric Wooten

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 21 Jan 2026 18:00:00 +0000

How do you bring up sensitive topics? How can you make each other still feel loved in conflict? How do you resolve conflict quickly? We pulled together a list of questions related to conflict in marriage, asked directly by you guys, and we’re going to tackle them on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast. Eric Wooten, author, speaker, and cofounder of Altared Marriage, joins Rob Philo to address a slew of conflict-related questions, providing thoughtful responses and easy-to-implement strategies for your own marriage. For example, he shares this insight—validation is not a complete endorsement of your spouse’s perspective. Do you agree? Tune into today’s conversation to find out!

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Time Stamps:

(:45) Eric Wooten’s background

(2:04) My spouse doesn’t always communicate their feelings and can hold things back. How do I respectfully ask them to share their feelings in an argument?

(5:50) How can you tell the difference between a spouse that wants to help you become a better version of yourself versus one that tries to fix you?

(8:32) How do you bring up sensitive topics without them blowing up into a whole thing?

(11:03) What are your thoughts on addressing multiple issues at once in conflict?

(17:09) How can you make each other still feel loved in conflict?

(20:05) What’s the best way to start a conversation that you both know you need to have but neither wants to initiate?

(22:41) What does healthy conflict look like?

(28:15) When having conflict triggered by tones and quick reactions, how do you avoid responding impulsively?

(32:18) How do you resolve conflict quickly?

(34:28) How do you resolve a conflict that you both can’t come to an agreement on?

(41:08) One key takeaway from this conversation

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Links:

Altared Marriage https://www.altaredmarriage.com/

Valentine’s Day Getaway WinShape Marriage Retreat Feb. 13 – 15, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/valentines-day-getaway-february-2026/

Courageous Communication Marriage Retreat Oct. 30 – Nov. 1, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/courageous-communication-october-2026/

Courageous Communication Marriage Retreat Dec. 11 – 13, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/courageous-communication-december-2026/

“Conflict Resolution Strategies” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conflict-resolution-strategies/

“How To Stop Arguing With Your Spouse” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-stop-arguing-with-your-spouse/

“Is It OK To Agree To Disagree With Your Spouse?” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/is-it-ok-to-agree-to-disagree-with-my-spouse/

“Four Steps To Repairing Conflict With Your Spouse” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/4-steps-to-repairing-conflict/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Relevant Episodes:

Don’t Fall for These 7 Marriage Myths About Conflict https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFQrzCRVH1E&t=11s

How To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdfGBQ-yU7s&t=342s

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Answering Your Questions About Sex | Dr. Juli Slattery

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 14 Jan 2026 08:00:00 +0000

How do I initiate sex when I struggle to find a starting point? What are your thoughts on two people with busy schedules scheduling when to have sex? How is romance defined? We’re answering these questions and more—asked directly from you guys—on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast. One of your favorite guests returns and joins Marlee Arnold for the Q&A. Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, and she’s the president of Authentic Intimacy, a teaching ministry devoted to reclaiming God’s design for sexuality. Her wisdom and expertise is top-notch, which is exactly why we asked her to answer your questions related to sex and intimacy in marriage. More important than her own perspective, Dr. Slattery brings a biblical perspective to this vulnerable conversation we know you’ll appreciate.

Note: This conversation is focused on building a healthy, thriving marriage. If you are experiencing abuse in your marriage, or someone you know is, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. If someone is monitoring your device, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. Learn more about what defines an abusive relationship.

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Time Stamps:

(1:09) Dr. Juli Slattery’s background

(3:10) How is romance defined, and what is a good way to cultivate it in my marriage?

(7:10) How do you navigate preparing for marriage when you and your fiancé have different levels of desire and/or excitement for intimacy?

(11:37) How do I initiate sex when I struggle to find a starting point?

(16:25) Is it OK to keep lifelong friends of the opposite sex when getting married?

(19:52) What are your thoughts pertaining to oral sex, and does it go both ways?

(23:06) What are your thoughts on two people with busy schedules scheduling when to have sex?

(24:59) How do I get over the shame of having sex with my spouse before marriage and not letting that shame carry over into married sex?

(28:01) How can we talk about porn in our marriage and how to guard against it?

(31:42) What do I do if my spouse told me that they are struggling with porn?

(34:12) Where do you suggest starting with regaining trust after discovering a spouse’s porn addiction, and how do you work on moving forward?

(37:45) One key takeaway from this conversation

----------

Links:

Authentic Intimacy https://www.authenticintimacy.com/

“God, Sex, and Your Marriage” https://shop.authenticintimacy.com/products/god-sex-and-your-marriage

God, Sex, and Your Marriage WinShape Marriage Retreat Jan. 23 – 25, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/god-sex-and-your-marriage-january-2026/

God, Sex, and Your Marriage WinShape Marriage Retreat Aug. 14 – 16, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/god-sex-and-your-marriage-august-2026/

Pure Desire Ministries https://www.puredesire.org/

Be Broken https://www.bebroken.org/

423 Communities https://www.423communities.org/

“Sex and Intimacy in Marriage: Six Questions Answered” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/sex-and-intimacy-in-marriage-six-questions-answered/

“Can You Have Opposite-Sex Friendships in Marriage?” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/opposite-sex-friendships-in-marriage/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

God’s Design for Sex in Marriage | Dr. Juli Slattery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY5u0EL6HzI&t=820s

Intimacy Is More Than Just Sex | Dr. Juli Slattery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Ky8vS5aWo&t=820s

Should You Have Friends of the Opposite Sex? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzwG1vpQuyc&t=248s

What Does Research Say About Pornography? | Nick Stumbo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flZJ-kSWfiY&t=2746s

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A Marriage Story: The Gables

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 7 Jan 2026 08:00:00 +0000

We’re back in the new year and starting off strong sharing a second marriage story! Despite what you may think, you and your spouse have a marriage story—one worth reflecting on and considering sharing. Be inspired by Phillip and Whitney Gable, a WinShape Marriage Host Couple, as they share their marriage story on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast. They talk openly and vulnerably about how the Lord captivated each of their hearts, ultimately leading to transformation in their marriage. There isn’t a nice, neat bow at the end of this episode—instead an encouragement that God is still working and still writing their story, even in the present. How is he doing the same for you?

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Links:

Marriage Discipleship https://marriage.winshape.org/discipleship/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Wild At Heart – For Men https://wildatheart.org/events/wild-at-heart-retreat

Wild At Heart – For Women https://wildatheart.org/events/captivating-retreat

Wild At Heart Retreat Men April 16 – 19, 2026 Cleveland, Georgia https://lifeimpact.com/wahr/

Wild At Heart Retreat Women April 16 – 19, 2026 Cleveland, Georgia https://lifeimpact.com/captivating/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

A Marriage Story: The Robys https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXYJcpoRH0Q&t=2s

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REPLAY: Growing Your Relationship With God and Your Spouse in 2025

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 31 Dec 2025 08:00:00 +0000

Happy New Year's Eve from WinShape Marriage! Solidify a 2026 goal—become more like Christ. How would this impact your marriage? As you prepare for a new year ahead, listen back to this REPLAY episode, Growing Your Relationship With God and Your Spouse in 2025,—it all still applies for 2026! And, stay tuned for a brand-new episode next week featuring a marriage story you don’t want to miss. Happy New Year!

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REPLAY: Spiritual formation is a “fancy” term that basically means being on a journey of becoming more and more like Jesus. What if your only goal in 2025 was to become more like Him? How would that impact your marriage for the better? Marlee Arnold sits down with Jeremy Marshall, senior manager of learning and development at WinShape Foundation. Together, they discuss what it means to encourage your spouse in their individual faith journey, how you and your spouse might relate to God differently, and what it means to spiritually lead in your marriage. There’s nothing more fundamental to your marriage relationship than your relationship with God and how that impacts your marriage. Tune into this enlightening conversation.

----------

Time Stamps:

(1:14) Introduction to Jeremy Marshall and his role at the WinShape Foundation

(2:45) What is spiritual formation?

(4:10) Where does spiritual formation intersect with becoming one with your spouse in marriage?

(7:05) How can you support your spouse on their individual spiritual formation journey?

(14:10) What does it look like to grow together spiritually in your marriage?

(20:00) What is, “Sacred Pathways?”

(24:54) What is spiritual leadership and how does that terminology sit with Jeremy as a husband of 22 years

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Links:

“Sacred Pathways” https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Pathways-Discover-Your-Souls/dp/0310329884

Spiritual Pathways Assessment https://groupleaders.org/curriculum-feed/spiritual-pathways-activity#personal-assessment

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/01/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep14.pdf

----------

Relevant Episodes:

What Does Spiritual Leadership Mean, Anyway? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7g0T2-8izo&t=57s

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REPLAY: How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 08:00:00 +0000

Merry Christmas Eve from WinShape Marriage! If you’ve never listened to our most popular podcast episode, now’s your chance. In lieu of a new episode today, catch this REPLAY episode, How To Love Your Spouse Well, with the one and only Dr. Gary Chapman! We hope this Christmas season has been joyous and peace filled, and we can’t wait to catch you back here in the new year for new episodes.

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REPLAY: What’s your love language? What’s your spouse’s? To kick off season two of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold talks to the author of The New York Times Best Seller, “The 5 Love Languages,” Dr. Gary Chapman. Not only do they break down The 5 Love Languages, but they talk about how to utilize them to enhance your marriage. Even if you are a love language fanatic, or you know nothing about them at all, you’ll definitely learn something in this episode that will help you be a better spouse this week.

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Time Stamps:

(1:41) What first inspired Dr. Chapman to step into the marriage and family space and eventually write, “The 5 Love Languages”

(7:27) Acts of service

(8:10) Receiving gifts

(10:20) Quality time

(13:00) Words of affirmation

(14:21) Physical touch

(17:00) What does it mean to love your spouse well based on their love language

(21:37) Are you only supposed to love your spouse via their primary love language?

(23:45) Is there any correlation to the love languages you received or didn’t receive growing up that contributes to your love language?

(25:17) How Dr. Chapman responds to criticism of The 5 Love Languages...“My spouse doesn’t love me well...they never...”

(29:29) How The 5 Love Languages influenced other work by Dr. Chapman

----------

Links:

The 5 Love Languages https://5lovelanguages.com/

1 John 3:18 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20John%203%3A18&version=ESV

1 John 4:19 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20John%204%3A19&version=ESV

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

90 Date Ideas for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/90-date-ideas-for-couples/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2024/09/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep1.pdf

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The Truth Behind Marriage Expectations

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 17 Dec 2025 08:00:00 +0000

Marriage expectations—a phrase that can trip couples up from time to time. What does it mean to have marriage expectations? Is this biblical? How do you and your fiancé and/or spouse have healthy conversations around marriage expectations? We dive into these questions and more on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast. Genee Francis, returning guest and assistant director of content and programming at WinShape Marriage, joins Marlee Arnold. Discussions surrounding marriage expectations don’t have to be difficult. Tune into this episode for enlightening tips on how to navigate this topic in your own relationship.

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Time Stamps:

(1:00) Genee Francis' background

(1:57) Defining the term—marriage expectations

(4:39) What are some legitimate biblical marriage expectations?

(6:20) What are some unrealistic marriage expectations?

(8:36) Is this considered a “small” expectation, or does this carry more weight?

(13:40) How do you begin a conversation around marriage expectations in a healthy way?

(19:30) How do you approach having mismatched expectations?

(22:05) Is it OK to have nonnegotiable expectations in marriage?

(25:18) What do you do when one spouse is falling short on upholding agreed upon expectations?

(30:14) What is the biggest thing that trips couples up related to marriage expectations?

(32:11) One key takeaway from this conversation

----------

Links:

“Marriage Expectations” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/marriage-expectations/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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What Does It Mean To Have an Emotionally Safe Marriage? | Dr. Joshua Straub

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 20:30:00 +0000

Are you and your spouse fostering an emotionally safe environment in your marriage and in your home by extension? What does this actually mean? On today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Dr. Joshua Straub joins Marlee Arnold to unpack this conversation. Dr. Straub is an author, speaker, and podcaster, and he and his wife Christi founded Famous at Home. These two phrases—emotional safety and “being famous at home”—are the focal point of today’s discussion. In short, emotional safety is when you feel like you can be fully yourself without getting shut down or punished for it. So, do you feel that in your marriage you can express yourself without fear or judgement? And are you and your spouse creating space for your children to do the same? Learn how to take one or two practical steps forward in this space by listening to this detailed and enriching conversation.

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Time Stamps:

(1:11) Dr. Joshua Straub’s background

(4:33) What is emotional safety?

(9:29) How do you foster an emotionally safe environment in your marriage, first?

(17:03) What is a first step to creating an emotionally safe environment in your home? Where do you start?

(23:36) Dr. Straub shares a personal example of how he has created an emotionally safe environment in his family

(36:39) Why is it important to be “famous at home?”

(40:30) What is a first step to making sure that you’re prioritizing your family above outside noise?

(45:04) What are some consequences of not fostering an emotionally safe environment in your home?

(49:34) One key takeaway from this conversation

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Links:

Dr. Joshua Straub https://joshuastraub.com/

Famous at Home https://www.famousathome.com/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Talking the Enneagram and Marriage | Jeff & Beth McCord

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 3 Dec 2025 08:00:00 +0000

What does the enneagram have to do with marriage? Jeff and Beth McCord, cofounders of Your Enneagram Coach, join Marlee Arnold on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast. For those unfamiliar with the enneagram and to serve as a refresher for others, they spend part of the conversation providing an overview of the enneagram and how Your Enneagram Coach began as well as breaking down some of the criticisms of the enneagram. The latter half of the conversation is devoted to how the enneagram can be used as a tool for transformation in marriage. According to the McCords, the enneagram is one avenue to helping you understand why you think and behave the way you do. However, it is the gospel of Jesus Christ that ultimately brings any healing and transformation to yourself and your marriage. Don’t miss this interesting conversation!

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Time Stamps:

(1:17) Jeff and Beth McCord’s background

(4:58) A quick overview of the nine enneagram types

(9:40) Detailing the origin of Your Enneagram Coach

(16:58) Understanding some criticisms of the enneagram

(18:50) Discussing the origin of the enneagram

(21:46) How much weight should you give your enneagram number

(26:25) How a spouse’s enneagram number can affect their marriage relationship

(41:07) What if you and your spouse have the same enneagram number

(45:38) One key takeaway from this conversation

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Links:

Your Enneagram Coach https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/

9 Enneagram Types https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/coremotivations

Should Christians Use the Enneagram? https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/origins

Improve Your Marriage Using the Tools of the Enneagram and the Truth of the Gospel https://www.becomingus.com/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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REPLAY: Building a Culture of Gratitude in Your Marriage

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 26 Nov 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In lieu of posting a brand-new episode today ahead of tomorrow’s holiday, we are posting a replay of last year’s Thanksgiving episode. This timely topic, then, is still very timely now. If you’re prepping in the kitchen or cleaning your bathrooms, we hope you’ll enjoy relistening to this episode on building a culture of gratitude in your marriage and family. Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at WinShape Marriage!

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REPLAY: Happy Thanksgiving from WinShape Marriage! We know Thanksgiving is a day to reflect on gratitude, but gratitude extends far beyond one holiday in the calendar year. How can you and your spouse build a culture of gratitude in your marriage? Spoiler—saying, “Thank you,” is just the tip of the iceberg. Building a culture of appreciation affects your marriage positively in many ways. For example, it impacts your marriage when you’re experiencing a challenging season, and it rubs off on your kids and the culture of your family. Rob Philo sits down with Genee Francis, assistant director of content and programming at WinShape Marriage, to unpack this timely topic!

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Time Stamps:

(2:06) What is the difference between saying, “Thank you,” and truly being grateful

(7:55) How can you tell yourself a better story about who you are/who your spouse is

(9:41) How can you practically be a better spouse when it comes to appreciation

(11:24) How can you set up a routine/system of showing gratitude

(15:32) The impact gratitude has when you and your spouse are experiencing a tough season

(19:30) What does it mean to model a culture of gratitude to your kids?

(21:53) Is it true that spouses receive appreciation in different ways?

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Links:

Creating and Sustaining a Culture of Appreciation in Difficult Times https://www.gottman.com/blog/creating-and-sustaining-a-culture-of-appreciation-in-difficult-times/

Share Fondness and Admiration https://www.gottman.com/blog/share-fondness-and-admiration/

Everyday Is a Day of Thanksgiving https://www.shazam.com/song/719632328/everyday-is-a-day-of-thanksgiving

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Thessalonians%205%3A16-18&version=ESV

Gratitude journal https://www.amazon.com/Intelligent-Change-Mindfulness-Reflection-Affirmations/dp/0991846206/

The 5 Love Languages https://5lovelanguages.com/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2024/11/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep10.pdf

----------

Relevant Episodes:

How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI2Bnl_lBzc&t=131s

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How Do You Actually Know You’re Ready for Marriage | Jeff & Debby McElroy

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 19 Nov 2025 08:00:00 +0000

How do you actually know you’re ready for marriage? What are the biggest red flags you’ve seen in couples that are about to get married? What is something no one tells you about marriage? You guys asked these questions, and we’re answering them in today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast! Jeff and Debby McElroy have been married for over 40 years and have been working with couples for over 30 years. They are well known for their Prepare to Last premarital content and programming, and today they join Marlee Arnold to answer your questions about dating, engagement, and the early years of marriage. Their wisdom and expertise are valuable as they share sentiments like, “Have I done the work to prepare myself to join my life with someone else’s and have something to contribute?” We know you’ll love this Q&A conversation.

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Time Stamps:

(:55) Jeff and Debby McElroy’s background

(5:18) How do you actually know you’re ready for marriage?

(11:48) How can we best navigate approaching engagement when we both have different timelines as to when we’ll be ready to get engaged?

(17:00) Once you get married, what do you do when one of you has a different idea when you want to have kids?

(24:33) What are the biggest red flags you’ve seen in couples that are about to get married?

(29:52) Is there such a thing as too much dependance on my partner?

(35:08) What’s something you’ve seen hit couples really hard in the first and second year of marriage?

(41:13) What is your favorite thing about being married?

----------

Links:

Prepare to Last https://www.preparetolast.com/

Forever Families https://foreverfamilies.com/

“15 Important Questions To Ask Before Marriage” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/questions-to-ask-before-marriage/

“Six Ways To Build a Strong Marriage Foundation” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resources/?stageoflife=all&author=all&medium=all&sort=date_dsc

“Are We Ready for a Baby? 10 Questions To Ask Yourselves First” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/are-we-ready-for-a-baby/

“What Is Premarital Counseling?” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/what-is-premarital-counseling/

“How Long Should You Date Before Marriage?” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-long-should-you-date-before-marriage/

Prepare to Last WinShape Marriage Retreat Feb. 6 – 8, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/prepare-to-last-february-2026/

Prepare to Last WinShape Marriage Retreat Aug. 7 – 9, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/prepare-to-last-august-2026/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

Understanding the Honeymoon Phase and the Seven-Year Itch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAXg5K_cIEE&t=2883s

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How To Apologize to Your Spouse | Dr. Gary Chapman

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 12 Nov 2025 21:05:00 +0000

When you apologize, what do you typically say or do? When someone apologizes to you, what do you want to hear them say or do? These questions were the basis for Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Jennifer Thomas’ book, “The 5 Apology Languages.” Last season’s episode with Dr. Gary Chapman was well loved by you all, so he’s back on today’s episode to unpack the five apology languages. Just like you are likely to receive love differently than your spouse, you also probably experience apologies differently. Part of the “problem” you’re experiencing during conflict may just be a misunderstanding on how to apologize to one another. Listen to today’s episode with Dr. Chapman to understand this concept. Apologies are essential to long-term healthy relationships, and we want to set you up for success.

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Time Stamps:

(1:23) How The 5 Love Languages influenced other work by Dr. Chapman

(3:21) What specifically inspired The 5 Apology Languages

(5:22) Why should you apologize?

(6:48) Expressing regret

(8:37) Accepting responsibility

(11:15) Making restitution

(12:42) Genuinely repenting

(15:45) Requesting forgiveness

(20:00) Can you have more than one apology language?

(21:20) Should you teach your children all five of the apology languages?

(22:50) Is it ever too late to learn your apology language?

(24:00) One key takeaway from this conversation

(28:50) Can you utilize the apology languages for all types of transgressions, small and big?

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Links:

The 5 Love Languages https://5lovelanguages.com/

“The 5 Apology Languages” https://5lovelanguages.com/store/the-5-apology-languages

The Apology Language Quiz https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/apology-language

The Five Love Languages WinShape Marriage Retreat Oct. 2 – 4, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/five-love-languages-october-2026/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI2Bnl_lBzc&t=132s

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A Marriage Story: The Robys

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 5 Nov 2025 08:00:00 +0000

Do you know that you and your spouse have a marriage story? Yes, you! You do. And it’s worth reflecting on and considering sharing. On today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, we are trying something a bit different, so stick with us! From week to week, you’ll still hear from marriage experts you know and love, but this season, we will also be sharing four marriage stories. Marlee Arnold sits down with a WinShape Marriage Host Couple who is graciously willing to share their marriage story. In today’s episode, Mike and Lora Roby talk with Marlee about how the Lord has moved in their lives personally to draw them to himself and, by default, moved in their marriage, drawing them closer to one another. Their testimony is inspiring—you'll love this episode. Stay tuned for additional marriage stories this season.

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Links:

Marriage Discipleship https://marriage.winshape.org/discipleship/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Marriage | Ted Lowe

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +0000

Did you know you have between 16,000 and 64,000 thoughts a day?! What if you could begin to change your thoughts in a way that would positively change your marriage? Ted Lowe, Founder of For Us Marriage and author of multiple books including, “Us In Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage,” joins Rob Philo on today’s episode. Together, they unpack how changing your mindset has no choice but to change your attitude and actions. Before you ever have an attitude or perform an action, you have thoughts that affect them. This illuminating conversation highlights five intentional thoughts that if you begin implementing, you are bound to see a positive effect on your marital satisfaction.

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Time Stamps:

(1:30) Ted Lowe’s background

(3:02) Inspiration behind the book, “Us In Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage”

(7:05) Intentional Thought #1: Remember who I am.

(10:45) “Fred in my head”

(14:00) Intentional Thought #2: See the best.

(18:53) For people who aren’t currently “seeing the best” in their spouse, what can they do?

(22:22) Intentional Thought #3: Choose empathy.

(33:48) Intentional Thought #4: Pause.

(37:05) Intentional Thought #5: Love first.

(47:02) One key takeaway from this conversation

----------

Links:

Ted Lowe https://forusmarriage.com/

“Us In Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage” https://www.amazon.com/Us-Mind-Changing-Thoughts-Marriage/dp/1635701961

“What You Think About Yourself Matters Big to Your Marriage” blog https://forusmarriage.com/what-you-think-about-yourself-matters-big-to-your-marriage/

The Bible App “Us In Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage” plan https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/35927-us-in-mind

Us In Mind WinShape Marriage Retreat March 13 – 15, 2026 https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/us-in-mind-march-2026/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Social Media Is Lying to You About Marriage | Katie Bulmer

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 22 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +0000

Author, speaker, and podcaster, Katie Bulmer, is known for “help(ing) twenty-somethings understand their worth.” Additionally, she has been married to her husband for over 20 years, and from time to time they serve as a WinShape Marriage Host Couple. Her day-to-day platform combined with her personal marriage experience collides in today’s episode. Katie and Marlee Arnold talk woman to woman about lies young women believe about marriage, what she wishes she could have told herself about marriage before getting married, and current practical rhythms her and her husband implement to stay connected.

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Time Stamps:

(1:04) Katie Bulmer’s background

(3:03) How comparison sneaks into marriage and how to fight it

(9:28) Encouragement for finding an older couple to mentor you in your marriage

(12:13) Social media is lying to younger couples

(19:35) What’s something Katie would tell herself 20 years ago before getting married

(22:51) Katie busts open a marriage myth she once believed

(27:55) How to have hard conversations with your spouse

(31:15) For singles—one quality to look for in a potential spouse

(33:30) For singles—one thing you can be doing to set yourself up for a successful marriage

(38:23) Practical rhythms to help you stay connected to your spouse throughout your marriage

----------

Links:

Katie Bulmer https://katiebulmer.life/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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REPLAY: Getting on the Same Page at Christmas

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Fri, 17 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +0000

Talking with your family about holiday plans can be stressful, to say the least. We know! We recorded this podcast episode last year, but unfortunately, we released it too late. One of the main pieces of advice we heard from couples related to planning for the holidays was, "Talk about holiday schedules early." So, we are dropping this episode again with the hope that it opens the door for conversation with you and your spouse well ahead of the 2025 Christmas season. Check out this REPLAY episode, and then talk with your spouse about your plans with your respective families for the upcoming holidays.

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REPLAY: Merry Christmas from WinShape Marriage! As joyous as the holiday season can be, we know that trying to align you and your spouse’s calendars with the calendars of your in-laws and extended family can be challenging and even cause some tension. On today’s Christmas themed episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo interview several WinShape Marriage friends to get their perspectives. Every family has their own established rhythms and traditions which is why we asked multiple spouses the same three questions to hear their unique responses. Learn how these spouses currently navigate conversations around holiday schedules (and how they’ve navigated discussions in the past) with one another and with their in-laws and extended families as well as their best piece of advice for couples of all ages when it comes to this hot topic.

Spoiler—there are several similar themes that emerge like:

—Talking about holiday schedules early

—Being flexible as you enter different seasons of marriage

—Remembering your spouse is your first priority

It’s likely most of you have already locked in your plans for the 2024 Christmas season—we get it. So, consider listening to this episode through the lens of, “How can we approach this conversation differently in 2025, especially if it didn’t go well this year?” Whatever you’ve already experienced this holiday season and considering the days leading up to Christmas, from all of us here at WinShape Marriage, we wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

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Time Stamps:

(1:10) The Francis Family—Genee and Rashad Francis; Genee, Assistant Director of Content and Programming at WinShape Marriage

(11:52) The Agan Family—Bob and Suzanne Agan, WinShape Marriage Host Couple

(22:35) The Smalley Family—Dr. Greg (Erin) Smalley, Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family

(36:23) The Deagle Family—William and Jessica Deagle, WinShape Marriage Host Couple

(49:46) The Feldhahn Family—Shaunti (Jeff) Feldhahn, Social Researcher, Author, and Speaker

(58:26) The Arnold Family and The Philo Family—Cohosts Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

“10 Tips to Foster Positive Communication at Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/10-tips-to-foster-positive-communication-at-christmas/

“How To Tell Your Parents You Won’t Be Home for Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-tell-your-parents-you-wont-be-home-for-christmas/

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20 Dates To Try Before 2025 Is Over

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 15 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +0000

It’s hard to believe it’s mid-October already! Don’t let the last few months of this year pass by without intentionally planning time to connect with your spouse. In today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, cohosts Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo talk through their top 20 fall and Christmas date ideas. Wait...Christmas?! Yes! We want you to start planning for all the fun this season has to offer now. Get out for a solo date night, or bring the whole family along. Will you pack a Christmas picnic, drive to see fall foliage, or go on a hot cocoa testing tour. We can’t wait to hear about your fall and Christmas date adventures!

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Time Stamps:

(1:28) #1 – Pack a Christmas picnic

(2:48) #2 – Go apple picking

(3:36) #3 – Go to a holiday themed restaurant

(5:00) #4 – Have a DIY costume competition

(6:01) #5 – Attend a Christmas Eve service

(7:45) #6 – Go to a corn maze

(9:06) #7 – Drive to see fall foliage

(10:10) #8 – Make a pumpkin themed dinner

(11:20) #9 – Have a bonfire

(12:35) #10 – Go to a fall festival

(13:55) #11 – Go to a pumpkin patch, then carve pumpkins

(15:28) #12 – Go on a mini road trip

(17:03) #13 – Wrap Christmas presents

(18:33) #14 – Have a Christmas cookie Bake-Off

(19:07) #15 – Decorate for fall/Christmas

(20:15) #16 – Sing Christmas karaoke

(22:31) #17 – Go on a hot cocoa testing tour

(23:43) #18 – Go to a holiday show

(25:10) #19 – Go to a Christmas tree farm

(27:33) #20 – Volunteer

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Links:

"25 Festive Fall Date Ideas for Couples” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/25-festive-fall-date-ideas-for-couples/

“40 Festive Christmas Date Ideas for Couples” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/25-christmas-date-ideas-for-couples-and-families/

“280 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

“140 Good Would You Rather Questions for Kids and Adults” blog https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/free-printable-would-you-rather-questions/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Is It OK To Connect With God Differently Than My Spouse? | Gary Thomas

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 8 Oct 2025 07:00:00 +0000

What if the way you connect with God is totally different than how your spouse does? Is that OK? Rob Philo and Gary Thomas, author and speaker, explore the sacred pathways—nine ways to connect with God. They discuss the differences in each pathway and how every person has a unique wiring, contributing to how they experience and worship God. This affects many couples in their marriage—what if my spouse and I have a different sacred pathway? Does this mean we aren’t compatible? How can we honor our differences and still feel connected to one another and the Lord? This conversation is incredibly enlightening for individuals and couples. Learn more about the sacred pathways from the author of the book himself.

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Time Stamps:

(1:10) Gary Thomas’ background

(1:56) What are the sacred pathways

(7:52) The Naturalist

(8:10) The Sensate

(8:52) The Traditionalist

(9:29) The Ascetic

(10:20) The Activist

(10:43) The Caregiver

(11:19) The Enthusiast

(12:10) The Intellectual

(13:34) What the sacred pathways look like in a marriage context

(17:10) The Contemplative

(19:03) Advice for the couple where one spouse feels their pathway is the “right” way

(24:18) How to be spiritually connected in your marriage

(28:41) Advice for the couple who feels disconnected from God

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Links:

Gary Thomas https://garythomas.com/

“Sacred Pathways: Nine Ways To Connect With God” https://garythomas.com/books/sacred-pathways/

“Nine Ways to Connect with God” blog https://garythomas.com/2020/09/02/nine-ways-to-connect-with-god/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

Growing Your Relationship With God and Your Spouse in 2025 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcfI9tHeTh8&t=1401s

What Does Spiritual Leadership Mean, Anyway? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7g0T2-8izo&t=57s

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Be a Trampoline in Your Marriage, Not a Mirror | Bob Goff

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 1 Oct 2025 09:00:00 +0000

Author and speaker, Bob Goff, kicks off season three of The WinShape Marriage Podcast! Bob Goff’s life is a master class in not taking yourself too seriously, and he shares with Marlee Arnold how he’s followed this in his marriage. There are so many nuggets of wisdom woven throughout the stories he tells about his marriage and family—one-liners like, “Oneness doesn’t mean sameness,” and “I’m not looking for efficiency in my marriage. I'm looking for presence.” If you love Bob Goff and you’re curious about his thoughts on marriage after being married to Sweet Maria for 39 years, tune into the very first episode of season three of The WinShape Marriage Podcast.

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Time Stamps:

(1:25) Bob Goff’s background and marriage to wife, Sweet Maria

(4:35) Oneness doesn’t mean sameness

(6:05) Marriage principles that have stood the test of time in the Goffs’ marriage

(18:40) Your marriage can be an example of the Gospel

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Links:

Bob Goff https://www.bobgoff.com/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Trailer: Season 3

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 24 Sep 2025 15:15:00 +0000

Season 3 of The WinShape Marriage Podcast kicks off next Wednesday—don't miss it! We’ve got incredible guests lined up like returning favorites, Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Juli Slattery, and brand-new guests, authors, speakers and marriage experts—Ted Lowe and Gary Thomas. Stay tuned for new episodes dropping every Wednesday and catch up on seasons 1 and 2 while you wait.

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Our 8 Favorite Moments From Season 2

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 20:46:07 +0000

Check out our highlight reel for season 2 of The WinShape Marriage Podcast. We’ve loved being a part of your weekly routine through the fall and winter—thank you for engaging with us! As we officially wrap season 2, Rob Philo and Marlee Arnold run through their eight biggest takeaways from this season. With so many amazing guests ranging from Dr. Gary Chapman to most recently Nick Stumbo, it was hard to choose just eight. Tune into today’s episode for a high-level overview of what you might have missed. Then, catch up on any episodes you didn’t listen to when they were first released. We’ll see you later this year for season 3!

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Time Stamps:

(1:26) Dr. Gary Chapman – On a scale of 0 – 10, how full is your love tank?

(4:13) Bradley Joseph – A benefit for your marriage of playing with your spouse

(7:05) Dr. Greg Smalley – Make sure your spouse knows fully they are your loyalty and top priority

(12:10) Dr. David Banks – One piece of advice for any couple regardless of how long they’ve been married

(16:28) Genee Francis – How gratitude can help your spouse think about himself/herself differently

(20:27) Dr. Rob & Amy Rienow – I wish we focused more on the positive

(26:12) Dr. Juli Slattery – Comparing sex to a box of LEGO

(31:07) Scott Kedersha – Couples who struggle are bored and tired

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Links:

Download the free Creating a Vision for Your Marriage Workbook https://airtable.com/appzg0DO93ibXJtNo/pag2Q81SiX49xkjZX/form?prefill_Download=Creating+a+Vision+for+Your+Marriage&hide_Download=true

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

----------
Relevant Resources:

“How To Create a Vision for Your Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/setting-a-vision-for-your-marriage/

“100 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

“280 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI2Bnl_lBzc&t=131s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA&t=883s

Getting on the Same Page at Christmas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6p5iRioIvY&t=3442s

Understanding the Honeymoon Phase and the Seven-Year Itch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAXg5K_cIEE

Building a Culture of Gratitude in Your Marriage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7Iibms1kUk&t=964s

What We Wish We Knew Earlier in Marriage | Dr. Rob & Amy Rienow https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDtA5hxzvMs

God’s Design for Sex in Marriage | Dr. Juli Slattery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY5u0EL6HzI&t=61s

6 Common Traits of Couples Who Struggle | Scott Kedersha https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWp0Eh7X5B0&t=1329s

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The Marriage Advice That Changed Our Lives

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Thu, 13 Feb 2025 16:00:00 +0000

What’s the best marriage advice you’ve ever received? In this episode, Rob Philo and Marlee Arnold sit down to reflect on the wisdom, lessons, and practical tips they've learned during their time with WinShape Marriage. From profound spiritual insights to helpful daily reminders, they unpack the life-changing advice that has helped them navigate marriage in the early years.

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Time Stamps:

(3:49) “Women like to process life together and men like to do life together.”

(8:30) Luke 2:52—Jesus grew in wisdom and stature

(12:31) It’s OK to just sit and be together with your spouse

(17:00) “Is it your spouse or the season?”

(20:55) When you “do” something with your spouse, how do each of you experience it differently?

(26:20) What is actually happening when you experience conflict

(31:09) “I already know what you’re going to say...because I am you.”

(36:51) “Do you want to be right or in relationship?”

(38:31) “Am I listening to understand or to respond?”

(40:40) It is vital to continue celebrating and playing together throughout your marriage

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Links:

Luke 2:52 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%202%3A52&version=NIV

The Magic Ratio: The Key to Relationship Satisfaction https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-ratio-the-key-to-relationship-satisfaction/

Can You Read Your Spouse’s Mind? https://www.instagram.com/p/CfcYZW8lZxa/?img_index=1

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

100 Date Ideas for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

Intimacy Is More Than Just Sex | Dr. Juli Slattery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Ky8vS5aWo&t=1544s

What Research Suggests About Husbands and Wives | Shaunti Feldhahn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFbdfLEuFew&t=1770s

Understanding the Honeymoon Phase and the Seven-Year Itch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAXg5K_cIEE

How To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdfGBQ-yU7s&t=338s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA&t=883s

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What Does Research Say About Pornography? | Nick Stumbo

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 5 Feb 2025 22:45:00 +0000

Did you know 61% of the U.S. population (men and women) say they view pornography and 54% of practicing Christians (men and women) say they view pornography—only a 7% difference—according to the latest research. Additionally, only 11% of practicing Christians say they feel comfortable talking to their pastor about this struggle. Pornography is pervasive among our culture, even those with a Christian worldview. On today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Rob Philo talks with Nick Stumbo, executive director of Pure Desire, an organization dedicated to providing resources for those struggling with sexual brokenness, addiction, and betrayal. Nick shares his personal testimony with sexual brokenness and redemption. He also breaks down the latest research Pure Desire conducted with Barna Group regarding pornography use. The data is surprising. Tune into this fascinating conversation!

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Time Stamps:

(1:58) What first inspired Nick to step into the sexual brokenness and redemption space

(11:50) Understanding the inspiration behind the research study Pure Desire conducted with Barna Group

(19:41) Why people may be afraid to share their struggle with pornography with their community

(22:58) The impact of pornography on mental health and well-being

(25:40) How pornography use affects marriage

(31:17) Taking the first step towards recovery

(37:08) What advice Nick would give to someone as a first starting point who is struggling with a pornography addiction

(46:06) Resources for those interested

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Links:

Pure Desire https://puredesire.org/

Beyond the Porn Phenomenon https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/02/BTPP-Media-Fact-Sheet.pdf

5 Steps to Freedom from Porn https://puredesire.org/5-steps-to-freedom-from-porn/

7 Keys to Understanding Betrayal Trauma https://puredesire.org/free-ebook-7-keys-to-understanding-betrayal-trauma/

Genesis 1:27 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%201%3A27&version=ESV

James 5:16 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james%205%3A16&version=ESV

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

100 Date Ideas for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

----------
Relevant Resources:

"How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

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Our Favorite Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 29 Jan 2025 05:00:00 +0000

Happy Valentine’s Day—almost—from WinShape Marriage! We know Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo pulled together a list of 20 Valentine’s Day gift ideas—10 for the guys and 10 for the gals. Even if you think Valentine’s Day is overrated, don’t miss the opportunity to show your spouse a little extra love by getting something meaningful for them. We have a variety of ideas ranging from experiential to material and budget-friendly to more expensive. You’ll have no reason not to get your husband or wife a Valentine’s Day gift after listening to this episode!

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Time Stamps:

(1:28) #1 – Comfortable socks

(2:45) #2 – Cozy gift basket featuring socks, bath bombs, candle, eye mask, etc.

(4:10) #3 – Heated coffee mug

(4:34) #4 – Morning to yourself and breakfast in bed

(5:17) #5 – Gift certificate for a lesson such as a golf lesson

(5:50) #6 – Gift certificate for a spa day

(6:45) #7 – Devotional

(7:13) #8 – Planned date night

(9:13) #9 – Pickleball paddles

(9:34) #10 – Bible

(10:25) #11 – Tickets for a sporting event

(11:09) #12 – Getting the car detailed

(12:24) #13 – Wallet

(13:06) #14 – Personalized blanket

(14:34) #15 – Tool set

(16:12) #16 – Watercolor painting of first home

(17:30) #17 – Massage gun

(18:35) #18 – Perfume

(19:27) #19 – Adventurous experience

(20:02) #20 – Digital photo album

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“30 Valentine’s Day Gifts for Him” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/30-valentines-day-gifts-for-him/

“30 Valentine’s Day Gifts for Her” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/30-valentines-day-gifts-for-her/

“15 Valentine’s Day Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/valentines-day-date-ideas/

“DIY Valentine’s Day Baskets for Your Spouse or Kids” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/diy-valentines-day-baskets-for-your-spouse-or-kids/

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What Are the 6 Types of Intimacy?

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 19:47:17 +0000

Intimacy is so much more than just sex. We talked about this earlier in season two with Dr. Juli Slattery, and today’s episode builds on this conversation. Genee Francis, assistant director of content and programming at WinShape Marriage is back on The WinShape Marriage Podcast to break down the six different types of intimacy with Rob Philo. They are spiritual, emotional, intellectual, creative, experiential, and physical. Learn what each one means and practical ways you and your spouse can begin growing and continue growing in your intimacy with one another.

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Time Stamps:

(1:32) Definition of intimacy

(4:00) Spiritual intimacy

(6:23) Emotional intimacy

(8:25) Intellectual intimacy

(12:59) Creative intimacy

(15:29) Experiential intimacy

(18:40) Physical intimacy

(22:02) How the six types of intimacy work together

(25:29) How to balance the different types of intimacy

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“Six Different Types of Intimacy: Worksheet” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/six-different-types-of-intimacy-worksheet/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI2Bnl_lBzc&t=131s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA&t=96s

Intimacy Is More Than Just Sex | Dr. Juli Slattery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Ky8vS5aWo&t=1544s

Growing Your Relationship With God and Your Spouse in 2025 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcfI9tHeTh8&t=1396s

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What Research Suggests About Husbands and Wives | Shaunti Feldhahn

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Thu, 16 Jan 2025 14:14:26 +0000

Shaunti Feldhahn is a social researcher, author, and speaker, and today, she’s on The WinShape Marriage Podcast with Rob Philo breaking down her fascinating research on what husbands need most from their wives and vice versa. Her findings may surprise you more than you think. Together, Rob and Shaunti unpack why husbands need companionship and to know they “did good” as opposed to why wives need to be shown they are lovable and physical affection outside the bedroom, to name a few. If research interests you, listen to this episode with an open mind and consider, “What of this is true of me?”; “What of this is true of my spouse?” Then, unpack your thoughts with your spouse in a follow-up conversation.

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Time Stamps:

(1:00) Introduction to Shaunti Feldhahn

(2:25) What husbands need most: companionship

(8:04) To know they “did good”

(15:20) Two words—thank you

(19:46) What wives need most: to be shown she is loved and lovable

(26:35) Physical affection outside the bedroom

(29:36) A sense of deep security in you rather than in your finances

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Links:

“What Husbands Need Most From Their Wives (Part 1)" https://shaunti.com/2024/02/what-husbands-need-most-from-their-wives-part-1/

“What Husbands Need Most From Their Wives (Part 2)" https://shaunti.com/2024/02/what-husbands-need-most-from-their-wives-part-2/

“What Wives Need Most From Their Husbands (Part 1)" https://shaunti.com/2024/02/what-wives-need-most-from-their-husbands-part-1/

“What Wives Need Most From Their Husbands (Part 2)" https://shaunti.com/2024/03/what-wives-need-most-from-their-husbands-part-2/

“For Women Only” https://shaunti.com/shauntis-books/for-women-only/

“For Men Only” https://shaunti.com/shauntis-books/for-men-only/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

100 Date Ideas for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

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Growing Your Relationship With God and Your Spouse in 2025

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 8 Jan 2025 10:00:00 +0000

Spiritual formation is a “fancy” term that basically means being on a journey of becoming more and more like Jesus. What if your only goal in 2025 was to become more like Him? How would that impact your marriage for the better? Marlee Arnold sits down with Jeremy Marshall, senior manager of learning and development at WinShape Foundation. Together, they discuss what it means to encourage your spouse in their individual faith journey, how you and your spouse might relate to God differently, and what it means to spiritually lead in your marriage. There’s nothing more fundamental to your marriage relationship than your relationship with God and how that impacts your marriage. Tune into this enlightening conversation.

----------

Time Stamps:

(1:14) Introduction to Jeremy Marshall and his role at the WinShape Foundation

(2:45) What is spiritual formation?

(4:10) Where does spiritual formation intersect with becoming one with your spouse in marriage?

(7:05) How can you support your spouse on their individual spiritual formation journey?

(14:10) What does it look like to grow together spiritually in your marriage?

(20:00) What is, “Sacred Pathways?”

(24:54) What is spiritual leadership and how does that terminology sit with Jeremy as a husband of 22 years

----------

Links:

“Sacred Pathways” https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Pathways-Discover-Your-Souls/dp/0310329884

Spiritual Pathways Assessment https://groupleaders.org/curriculum-feed/spiritual-pathways-activity#personal-assessment

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

What Does Spiritual Leadership Mean, Anyway? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7g0T2-8izo&t=57s

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25 Fun Date Ideas To Try in 2025

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 1 Jan 2025 17:00:48 +0000

Happy New Year from WinShape Marriage! We know the new year inspires many to create a list of resolutions they hope to accomplish, so we’re providing a unique twist on this practice. Instead of creating New Year’s resolutions, consider making a 2025 bucket list of date ideas for you and your spouse to check off throughout the year. To get you started, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo run through their list of 25 date ideas for 2025 featuring some tried-and-true ideas like booking a spa day, some of their personal favorites such as having a themed night, and some brand-new ideas like having an upside-down dinner. This lighthearted episode will help you ease into the new year with excitement and anticipation for all the fun to come with your spouse in 2025!

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Time Stamps:

(1:08) #1 – Participate in a glassblowing class

(2:52) #2 – Take on Rob’s “farmers market challenge”

(4:11) #3 – Write “open when” letters

(5:50) #4 – Book a couple photo shoot

(6:53) #5 – Have a board game marathon

(8:02) #6 – Attend a live concert or performance

(8:32) #7 – Play mini golf

(9:34) #8 – Have a themed date night

(11:23) #9 – Drive to see fall foliage

(12:24) #10 – Book a spa day

(13:14) #11 – Visit a Christmas tree farm

(14:26) #12 – Go on a lunch date

(15:20) #13 – Go on a food tour

(16:27) #14 – Book a cool Airbnb

(17:18) #15 – Recreate your first date

(19:10) #16 – Rate the animals at the zoo or aquarium

(19:56) #17 – Have a “color date”

(21:24) #18 – Pick your next date night restaurant on Yelp

(22:06) #19 – Watch a documentary

(23:43) #20 – Participate in a candle making glass

(24:32) #21 – Go to an open mic night

(25:10) #22 – Volunteer

(25:50) #23 – Have a movie marathon

(27:07) #24 – Paint

(28:10) #25 – Have an upside-down dinner

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

2025 Date Ideas Bucket List PDF https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/01/2025-Date-Idea-Bucket-List.png

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Relevant Resources:

“100 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

“12 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/12-new-years-resolutions-for-couples/

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Getting on the Same Page at Christmas

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 18 Dec 2024 16:16:37 +0000

Merry Christmas from WinShape Marriage! As joyous as the holiday season can be, we know that trying to align you and your spouse’s calendars with the calendars of your in-laws and extended family can be challenging and even cause some tension. On today’s Christmas themed episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo interview several WinShape Marriage friends to get their perspectives. Every family has their own established rhythms and traditions which is why we asked multiple spouses the same three questions to hear their unique responses. Learn how these spouses currently navigate conversations around holiday schedules (and how they’ve navigated discussions in the past) with one another and with their in-laws and extended families as well as their best piece of advice for couples of all ages when it comes to this hot topic.

Spoiler—there are several similar themes that emerge like:

—Talking about holiday schedules early

—Being flexible as you enter different seasons of marriage

—Remembering your spouse is your first priority

----------

Time Stamps:

(1:10) The Francis Family—Genee and Rashad Francis; Genee, Assistant Director of Content and Programming at WinShape Marriage

(11:52) The Agan Family—Bob and Suzanne Agan, WinShape Marriage Host Couple

(22:35) The Smalley Family—Dr. Greg (Erin) Smalley, Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family

(36:23) The Deagle Family—William and Jessica Deagle, WinShape Marriage Host Couple

(49:46) The Feldhahn Family—Shaunti (Jeff) Feldhahn, Social Researcher, Author, and Speaker

(58:26) The Arnold Family and The Philo Family—Cohosts Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

“10 Tips to Foster Positive Communication at Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/10-tips-to-foster-positive-communication-at-christmas/

“How To Tell Your Parents You Won’t Be Home for Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-tell-your-parents-you-wont-be-home-for-christmas/

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6 Common Traits of Couples Who Struggle | Scott Kedersha

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 4 Dec 2024 17:05:00 +0000

Sometimes, it’s what you don’t do in your marriage that makes the biggest difference. Scott Kedersha, the marriage and family pastor at Harris Creek Baptist Church in Waco, Texas, joins Rob Philo on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast to unpack six common characteristics he’s noticed in couples who struggle in their marriage. Don’t fret—he provides practical, biblical advice for counteracting these traits. Learn how isolation impacts your marriage, boredom is dangerous, and humility shifts conflict. Whether you desire to break out of a rut or you want to strengthen your marriage foundation, this episode is packed with actionable insights.

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Time Stamps:

(7:00) Neither spouse is pursuing Jesus

(13:14) They don’t know how to communicate or manage conflict

(17:18) They tend to find themselves isolated and absent from strong community

(21:13) They’re bored and tired

(27:31) They blame their spouse

(31:13) They’re not committed, and they look for a way out

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Links:

Common Characteristics Of Couples Who Struggle https://www.scottkedersha.com/blog-pages/common-characteristics-of-couples-who-struggle

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“Let’s Talk Marriage Communication Exercises” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/lets-talk-marriage-communication-exercises/

“Seven Ideas: How To Communicate Better With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/seven-ideas-how-to-communicate-better-with-your-spouse/

“Four Steps To Repairing Conflict With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/4-steps-to-repairing-conflict/

“Conflict Resolution Strategies” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conflict-resolution-strategies/

“100 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

How To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdfGBQ-yU7s&t=337s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA

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Building a Culture of Gratitude in Your Marriage

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 09:00:00 +0000

Happy Thanksgiving from WinShape Marriage! We know Thanksgiving is a day to reflect on gratitude, but gratitude extends far beyond one holiday in the calendar year. How can you and your spouse build a culture of gratitude in your marriage? Spoiler—saying, “Thank you,” is just the tip of the iceberg. Building a culture of appreciation affects your marriage positively in many ways. For example, it impacts your marriage when you’re experiencing a challenging season, and it rubs off on your kids and the culture of your family. Rob Philo sits down with Genee Francis, assistant director of content and programming at WinShape Marriage, to unpack this timely topic!

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Time Stamps:

(2:06) What is the difference between saying, “Thank you,” and truly being grateful

(7:55) How can you tell yourself a better story about who you are/who your spouse is

(9:41) How can you practically be a better spouse when it comes to appreciation

(11:24) How can you set up a routine/system of showing gratitude

(15:32) The impact gratitude has when you and your spouse are experiencing a tough season

(19:30) What does it mean to model a culture of gratitude to your kids?

(21:53) Is it true that spouses receive appreciation in different ways?

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Links:

Creating and Sustaining a Culture of Appreciation in Difficult Times https://www.gottman.com/blog/creating-and-sustaining-a-culture-of-appreciation-in-difficult-times/

Share Fondness and Admiration https://www.gottman.com/blog/share-fondness-and-admiration/

Everyday Is a Day of Thanksgiving https://www.shazam.com/song/719632328/everyday-is-a-day-of-thanksgiving

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Thessalonians%205%3A16-18&version=ESV

Gratitude journal https://www.amazon.com/Intelligent-Change-Mindfulness-Reflection-Affirmations/dp/0991846206/

The 5 Love Languages https://5lovelanguages.com/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI2Bnl_lBzc&t=131s

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How To Build Stronger Blended Families | Ron Deal

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Fri, 22 Nov 2024 15:10:00 +0000

Did you know nearly half of adults are a part of a stepfamily relationship? We know blending families comes with its own set of unique challenges, so on today’s episode, Rob Philo talks with Ron Deal, a licensed marriage and family therapist and an expert in stepfamily education; he’s also one of the most widely read and viewed experts on this subject. In this conversation, Ron shares practical strategies for coparenting straight from his book, “The Smart Stepfamily.” If you are a co-parent, or you know someone who is, check out this episode packed with helpful advice and encouragement for fostering harmony in your blended family.

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Time Stamps:

(1:35) What inspired Ron Deal to get involved in stepfamily ministry

(4:35) When it comes to coparenting, respect the other parent and his or her household

(13:42) Schedule a regular meeting to discuss coparenting matters

(16:40) When children express confusion or anger towards your ex, don’t use it as an opportunity to berate the other parent

(19:47) Children should have everything they need in each home

(21:35) Make your custody structure work for your children even if you don’t like the details of your arrangement

(29:04) If you plan to hire a babysitter for more than four hours, give the other parent the option to watch the kid

(30:37) Resist the urge to only do special activities with all of the children around and not just some of the children

(33:29) Have financial conversations in private; your kids shouldn’t be your messenger

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Links:

Smart Stepfamilies https://smartstepfamilies.com/

“The Smart Stepfamily” https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Stepfamily-Seven-Healthy-Family-ebook/dp/B00GHXRSOK/

Romans 12:17-18 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012%3A17-18&version=ESV

“The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning” https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Stepfamily-Guide-Financial-Planning-ebook/dp/B07PZZ483X/

FamilyLife https://www.familylife.com/familylifeblended/blended-families/

Blended Families Moving Ahead WinShape Marriage Retreat https://marriage.winshape.org/retreat/blended-families-moving-ahead-october-2025/

Jeff and Tammy’s Story: Redemption for Their Marriage and Family https://marriage.winshape.org/story/jeff-tammys-story-redemption-for-their-marriage-and-family/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

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Dealing With Stress and Anxiety in Marriage | Monique Wells

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 13 Nov 2024 09:00:00 +0000

Anxiety is a heavy word. Saying it out loud can invoke strong emotions, and dealing with it as an individual can be challenging enough. So how do you navigate through seasons of anxiety in your marriage? In this episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold sits down with Monique Wells, a licensed professional counselor with over 25 years of experience. They navigate this important conversation answering questions like, “How can I support my spouse if they’re dealing with anxiety?”; “What can we do if we’re both walking through an anxious season?”; and “How can we stay connected amidst it all?” Hear practical ways you can show up for your spouse and strategies to manage this season as a team.

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Time Stamps:

(1:50) What does anxiety look like and how do you pay attention to it

(4:47) If you’re noticing signs of generalized anxiety for yourself, how do you let your spouse into how you’re feeling

(8:45) How to support your spouse if they’re experiencing stress and anxiety

(14:39) How to navigate a stressful or anxious season together, if you’re both experiencing it

(21:03) How to recognize if generalized anxiety is moving into more chronic anxiety

(26:53) How to approach anxiety from a biblical perspective

(33:12) How important is it to maintain connection and intimacy during seasons of anxiety

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Links:

2 Corinthians 10:5-6 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Corinthians%2010%3A%205-6&version=ESV

Philippians 4:8 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%204%3A8&version=ESV

John 10:10 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2010%3A10&version=ESV

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

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Intimacy Is More Than Just Sex | Dr. Juli Slattery

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 6 Nov 2024 09:00:00 +0000

There is so much more to intimacy with your spouse than just physical intimacy. In fact, Dr. Juli Slattery says there’s a difference between being sexually active and sexually intimate. So, how do you tap into deeper intimacy in your marriage? Dr. Slattery is back on The WinShape Marriage Podcast talking about just this with Rob Philo and Marlee Arnold. They discuss practical ways you can engage with your spouse outside the bedroom that will impact intimacy in the bedroom and even ways you might be sabotaging intimacy without realizing it.

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Time Stamps:

(1:12) How intimacy extends beyond the bedroom

(3:10) How does intimacy outside the bedroom impact intimacy in the bedroom

(4:56) What are some practical things you can do outside the bedroom that will impact intimacy in the bedroom

(8:14) How “talking” can fail to build intimacy at times

(11:28) How you might be sabotaging intimacy without realizing it

(21:06) How to work toward recovering intimacy after a breach of trust in marriage

(24:28) How to develop intimacy in your marriage when there are walls built up

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Links:

Authentic Intimacy https://www.authenticintimacy.com/

“God, Sex, and Your Marriage” https://shop.authenticintimacy.com/products/god-sex-and-your-marriage

Faithful & True https://www.faithfulandtrue.com/

Be Broken https://www.bebroken.org/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Intensives https://marriage.winshape.org/intensives/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“90 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/90-date-ideas-for-couples/

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

God’s Design for Sex in Marriage | Dr. Juli Slattery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY5u0EL6HzI&t=1797s

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Understanding the Honeymoon Phase and the Seven-Year Itch

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 30 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000

What does the “honeymoon phase” mean? What about the “seven-year itch?” Do all couples experience them? Is there scientific evidence behind them, or are these made-up phrases? Rob Philo breaks down these two phrases and more with Julie Baumgardner, senior director of WinShape Marriage, and Dr. David Banks, marriage author and speaker. Learn practical advice from two experts on how to navigate these seasons well with your spouse. And if you’ve surpassed the early years of marriage, don’t count this episode out—there are plenty of great reminders for having a healthy, thriving marriage for the long haul.

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Time Stamps:

(1:30) What does the “honeymoon phase” mean

(4:30) What is going on “chemically” in your body in the early years of marriage

(7:23) What to look out for when you’re approaching the two-year mark

(10:48) Strategies to maintain connection beyond the two-year mark

(15:35) Rhythms to set up to play again in your marriage

(22:50) Common myths newly married couples believe that aren’t true

(37:00) What does the “seven-year itch” mean

(41:56) Is the “seven-year itch” inevitable and what to look out for when you’re approaching the seven-year mark

(43:24) Advice for the couple experiencing the “seven-year itch”

(46:28) One piece of advice for any couple regardless how long they’ve been married

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Links:

Proverbs 23:7 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2023%3A7&version=KJV

Proverbs 27:12 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2027%3A12&version=ESV

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“90 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/90-date-ideas-for-couples/

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

The Secret Ingredient To Staying Connected https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdK9Mm-Qo4o&t=930s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA&t=2232s

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How To Navigate Grief in Marriage | Laurie Lokey

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 23 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000

Tragedies, losses, and uncertainties are all a part of life. Jesus promises tribulation to us. It’s not if but when. So, when tragedy strikes in your marriage, how do you cope? How do you navigate grieving with your spouse or how do you support your spouse when they’re experiencing grief? And where is God in the middle of grief? Marlee Arnold navigates this sensitive conversation with Laurie Lokey, a licensed professional counselor based out of Spring Hill, Tennessee.

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Time Stamps:

(2:40) Laurie’s background helping individuals and couples navigate grief

(7:55) How do you begin navigating a season of grief with your spouse

(11:00) How do you share with your spouse if you are experiencing grief differently than they are

(13:50) What is the next step to take when grieving if you realize you need more help

(18:35) How do you walk through a season of grief when you experience a miscarriage

(23:25) How and where do you see the character of God amidst grief

(29:54) How important is it to maintain connection and intimacy during seasons of grief

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Links:

John 16:33 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2016%3A33&version=ESV

Bill & Laurie Lokey https://billandlaurielokey.com/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

----------

Relevant Resources:

"How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Making Your Marriage Fun Again!

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 16 Oct 2024 20:10:00 +0000

It’s time to get up, get moving, and play with your spouse! What?! What does it mean to “play” as an adult? Isn’t that something kids do? Spoiler—play is not just for toddlers, elementary school kids, or even teenagers. Play is for adults, too, and it’s a healthy and vital part of your marriage relationship. Marlee Arnold is back with Julie Baumgardner, senior director of WinShape Marriage, and Bradley Joseph, a team leader of facilitation at WinShape Foundation, aka an expert on play. Together, they talk about what playing looks like in a marriage context, what the benefits are, and personal examples as well as detail different play personalities. It’s a great conversation where you are certain to learn something new.

----------

Time Stamps:

(1:17) Introduction to Bradley Joseph and his role at the WinShape Foundation

(2:20) What we mean when we say at WinShape Marriage Retreats we bring experiential learning into our experiences

(8:30) What does “playing” in marriage look like; what are some examples

(11:48) The definition of play

(12:05) What are some benefits for your marriage of playing with your spouse

(16:24) Breaking down “play personalities”—collector

(19:53) Competitor

(21:47) Creator

(22:34) Director

(23:49) Explorer

(26:30) Joker

(27:00) Kinesthete

(27:38) Storyteller

(29:24) How can you engage with your spouse in play if you have different play personalities

(33:15) How to have time to have fun and play with your spouse

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Links:

National Institute for Play https://nifplay.org/

Play Personalities https://nifplay.org/what-is-play/play-personalities/

Identify Your Play Nature https://nifplay.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/take-your-play-history-2023.08.02.pdf

The Importance of Play in Couple Relationships https://extension.usu.edu/relationships/research/the-importance-of-play-in-couple-relationships

90 Date Ideas for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/90-date-ideas-for-couples/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

60 Free Printable Would You Rather Questions https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/free-printable-would-you-rather-questions/

“The Body Keeps the Score” https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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What We Wish We Knew Earlier in Marriage | Dr. Rob & Amy Rienow

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 9 Oct 2024 12:25:00 +0000

What would you say to yourself as someone who’s newly married if you could go back in time? Or what would you tell your younger self as you were preparing your heart for marriage? Dr. Rob and Amy Rienow, co-founders of Visionary Family Ministries and authors of multiple books including, “Visionary Marriage,” have been married for 30 years. Rob Philo asks them to share “what they wish they knew earlier in marriage,” how they’ve grown as a couple, and how they’re continuing to grow in their marriage, even after 30 years. You’ll be encouraged in this episode that no matter how long you’ve been married it’s impossible to have it “all figured out”—that's the beauty of marriage!

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Time Stamps:

(:48) The Rienows’ background in the marriage and family space

(2:35) I wish we set better work/life boundaries

(5:38) Physical boundaries vs. emotional boundaries

(10:32) I wish we set better rhythms of communication with extended family

(15:37) I wish we trusted the Lord’s timing with having children

(20:35) I wish we under promised and over delivered more

(23:32) I wish we were more intentional about date nights

(32:29) I wish we prayed together every day

(36:29) I wish we were more diligent when managing finances

(40:59) I wish we had more people speaking wisdom into our lives

(42:37) I wish we focused more on the positive

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Links:

Visionary Family Ministries https://visionaryfam.com/

“Visionary Marriage” https://visionaryfam.com/shop/visionary-marriage/

EveryDolllar https://www.ramseysolutions.com/ramseyplus/everydollar?snid=free-tools.budgeting.everydollar-budget-app

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

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God’s Design for Sex in Marriage | Dr. Juli Slattery

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 2 Oct 2024 08:00:00 +0000

Let’s talk about sex—healthy, biblical intimacy and sexuality. Cohosts Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo talk to Dr. Juli Slattery, clinical psychologist, author, and president of Authentic Intimacy, about the cultural view of sex as compared to the biblical view of sex. Why did God design sex and how should Christian couples be thinking about and talking about this topic in the context of their covenant marriage? This conversation is not only fascinating but foundational for couples to have a healthy viewpoint of sex and intimacy in their marriage.

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See below for a free PDF defining the following: the cultural narrative of sex, the purity narrative of sex, and the biblical narrative of sex.

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Time Stamps:

(1:24) What inspired Dr. Juli Slattery to step into studying and researching healthy biblical sex and intimacy

(3:33) What Dr. Juli Slattery thinks the current cultural view of sex is

(5:55) From a biblical perspective, how should Christians be thinking about sex and sexuality

(8:30) What does sex mean in the context of a covenant marriage

(13:15) How Dr. Juli Slattery sees the purity culture affecting Christian couples in this space

(17:55) For couples listening affected by purity culture, what can they do to start taking the right step

(19:27) What is the purpose of sex

(24:02) What are some ways Christian couples get tripped up related to sex

(27:13) Dr. Juli Slattery compares sex to a box of LEGO

(29:03) What are some foundational conversations couples can be having related to sex to lay the groundwork for healthy sex and intimacy

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Links:

Sex: The Cultural Narrative, The Purity Narrative, The Biblical Narrative https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2024/10/Rethinking-Sexuality.pdf

Authentic Intimacy https://www.authenticintimacy.com/

“God, Sex, and Your Marriage” https://shop.authenticintimacy.com/products/god-sex-and-your-marriage

Faithful & True https://www.faithfulandtrue.com/

Be Broken https://www.bebroken.org/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

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How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 08:00:00 +0000

What’s your love language? What’s your spouse’s? To kick off season two of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold talks to the author of The New York Times Best Seller, “The 5 Love Languages,” Dr. Gary Chapman. Not only do they break down The 5 Love Languages, but they talk about how to utilize them to enhance your marriage. Even if you are a love language fanatic, or you know nothing about them at all, you’ll definitely learn something in this episode that will help you be a better spouse this week.

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Time Stamps:

(1:41) What first inspired Dr. Chapman to step into the marriage and family space and eventually write, “The 5 Love Languages”

(7:27) Acts of service

(8:10) Receiving gifts

(10:20) Quality time

(13:00) Words of affirmation

(14:21) Physical touch

(17:00) What does it mean to love your spouse well based on their love language

(21:37) Are you only supposed to love your spouse via their primary love language?

(23:45) Is there any correlation to the love languages you received or didn’t receive growing up that contributes to your love language?

(25:17) How Dr. Chapman responds to criticism of The 5 Love Languages...“My spouse doesn’t love me well...they never...”

(29:29) How The 5 Love Languages influenced other work by Dr. Chapman

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Links:

The 5 Love Languages https://5lovelanguages.com/

1 John 3:18 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20John%203%3A18&version=ESV

1 John 4:19 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20John%204%3A19&version=ESV

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

90 Date Ideas for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/90-date-ideas-for-couples/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

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Trailer: Season 2

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Thu, 15 Aug 2024 17:00:00 +0000

We're back! The WinShape Marriage Podcast is returning this fall with a wide range of marriage experts. Cohosts Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo talk with Dr. Gary Chapman, Dr. Juli Slattery, and other guests about how couples can build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Join us right here on September 25 for the first episode of season 2!

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Answering Your Marriage Questions: Part 2

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 22 May 2024 10:00:00 +0000

You asked; we answered! In the final episode of season one of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, the team answers the rest of your listener submitted questions. This episode dives deeper into marriage questions related to communication, intentionality, and parenting, follow-up questions to episode eight’s marriage and parenting conversation. Listen to part two of our Q&A, and stay tuned for season two of the podcast coming later this year.

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Time Stamps:

(:21) I hear having kids changes your marriage for the worse, and it makes me fearful. Can you speak about how having children affects your marriage positively?

(5:50) How do you know when it’s time to have children?

(9:30) What guidance do you have for couples struggling to get pregnant?

(12:41) We are expecting a baby later this year and are wondering what conversations we should have around parenting styles?

(18:09) What is one piece of advice you would give a couple in their first year of parenthood?

(19:49) How can blended families work better together to build love, belonging, and confidence in their kids?

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Links:

Smart Stepfamilies Website https://smartstepfamilies.com/

“The Smart Step-Family,” Ron Deal https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Step-Family-Seven-Healthy-Family/dp/0764226576/

Jeff and Tammy’s Story: Redemption for Their Marriage and Family https://marriage.winshape.org/story/jeff-tammys-story-redemption-for-their-marriage-and-family/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Relevant Resources:

“Are We Ready for a Baby? 10 Questions To Ask Yourselves First” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/are-we-ready-for-a-baby/

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Relevant Episodes:

Ep 9 | Answering Your Marriage Questions: Part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAWv6X3imwY&t=15s

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Answering Your Marriage Questions: Part 1

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 15 May 2024 10:00:00 +0000

We’ve been asking you all season long to submit your marriage questions, and in episode nine, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo ask Julie Baumgardner to answer them. They discuss a variety of questions related to previous episodes such as, “What do healthy boundaries look like with in-laws from both perspectives?”, and, “Should spouses be best friends?”. There were too many to answer in one episode, so the Q&A will be released in two parts. In this episode, the WinShape Marriage team talks through finances, connectedness, and conflict. Listen to this conversation, and stay tuned for part two next week.

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Time Stamps:

(1:11) What do healthy boundaries with in-laws look like from both perspectives, the perspective of the couple and the perspective of both of their parents?

(6:48) My wife is a child of divorce, and this has developed insecurities in our marriage, specifically when we argue. How can I reassure her and help with those insecurities?

(11:26) How can you identify and address how you and your spouse’s family handled finances, and from there, how that affects finances in your marriage?

(16:05) What is the best way to love a spouse whose love language is receiving gifts but giving gifts is not always financially wise?

(18:55) What advice do you have for couples where one spouse places work and responsibilities as their main priority and doesn’t prioritize self-care and personal interests?

(22:23) Should spouses be “best friends,” or does that minimize the relationship?

(25:00) When talking through growth areas, what are ways to be sure you aren’t trying to change your spouse to be more like you and your personality?

(29:11) What are healthy ways to diffuse conflict over minuscule things? Can you talk about “nitpicking” and conflicts that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things? How do you choose your battles?

(35:25) What are some ways to hold yourself accountable, so you refrain from using a harsh start-up?

(40:00) How should you respond to your spouse if they use a harsh start-up versus a gentle start-up?

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Links:

“Boundaries,” Henry Cloud and John Townsend https://www.drcloud.com/books/boundaries

“The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce,” Judith Wallerstein, Julia Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee https://www.amazon.com/Unexpected-Legacy-Divorce-Landmark-Study/dp/0786886161

Money Habitudes https://www.moneyhabitudes.com/

The Love Language Quiz https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

“The 5 Love Languages,” Gary Chapman https://5lovelanguages.com/store/the-5-love-languages

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

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Relevant Resources:

“How To Talk About Finances Before Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-talk-about-finances-before-marriage/

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An Empty Nester’s Important Advice for Parents

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 8 May 2024 13:04:11 +0000

Is it possible to thrive in your role as husband and wife and mom and dad?! We think so! It won’t come without its challenges, but choosing to prioritize your marriage will only benefit your kids. Whether you’re currently navigating the parenting season of life or you hope to be a parent one day, this episode encourages you and your spouse to step into your roles as mom and dad, establish a strong foundation for your children, and navigate times when you’re trying to make decisions and you can’t agree. Be encouraged by Julie Baumgardner, who is on the other side of this journey and has great insight and wisdom to share.

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Time Stamps:

(1:28) When you and your spouse have different ideas when it comes to parenting your children

(5:07) How to have conversations about parenting your children

(8:29) Navigating parenting conversations when there is tension between you and your spouse

(14:08) Is it OK to have conflict in front of your children?

(16:52) What are some ways to disciple your children?

(25:15) Thrive in your roles as mom and dad

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Links:

“Visionary Parenting,” Rob and Amy Reinow https://www.amazon.com/Visionary-Parenting-Capture-God-Sized-Vision/dp/0892655763

“How To Help Your Child Clean up Their Mental Mess,” Caroline Leaf https://www.amazon.com/Help-Child-Clean-Their-Mental/dp/0801093414

“Grace Based Parenting,” Tim Kimmel https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Based-Parenting-Your-Familiy/dp/0849905486

“Parenting,” Paul David Tripp https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Gospel-Principles-Radically-Change/dp/1433551934

“The 5 Love Languages of Children,” Gary Chapman https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Children-Secret-Effectively/dp/0802412858

“Boundaries With Kids,” Henry Cloud and John Townsend https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Kids-Children-Control-Their/dp/0310243157

“Parent Differently,” Kathy Koch https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Differently-Biblical-Character-Changes/dp/0802431186

“Habits of the Household,” Justin Whitmel Earley https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Household-Practicing-Everyday-Rhythms/dp/0310362938

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Ask a marriage question to be answered on the show. https://marriage.winshape.org/podcast/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“The Power of a Parent’s Words” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/the-power-of-a-parents-words/

“How To Explain God to a Child” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-explain-god-to-a-child/

“140 Free Printable Family Conversation Starters” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/family-conversation-starters/

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How To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 1 May 2024 10:00:00 +0000

No one wakes up in the morning thinking, “I’d like to argue with my spouse today,” but all healthy marriages experience conflict. It's normal! So, how do you navigate conflict well and come to resolutions with your spouse without damaging your marriage? This episode isn’t meant to answer every question related to conflict, but it will begin unearthing the origins of conflict as well as the cycle of conflict aka the “fear dance.” How does conflict start? What are your “buttons,” and where do they come from? What should you do when you are aware your buttons are being pushed? Listen to this episode to learn more, so next time you and your spouse find yourself in a disagreement, you’ll have a broader understanding of what is happening.

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Time Stamps:

(1:02) Breaking down the structure of conflict aka the “fear dance”

(4:52) Understanding your “buttons” and what to do when they’re pushed

(7:50) If you react to your buttons being pushed, what’s next?

(14:20) Harsh start-up versus gentle start-up

(20:05) Is it OK to get a third party involved?

(21:43) Is it OK to agree to disagree?

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Ask a marriage question to be answered on the show. https://marriage.winshape.org/podcast/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“Four Steps To Repairing Conflict With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/4-steps-to-repairing-conflict/

“Is It OK To Agree To Disagree With My Spouse?” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/is-it-ok-to-agree-to-disagree-with-my-spouse/

“How To Stop Arguing With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-stop-arguing-with-your-spouse/

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

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Relevant Episodes:

Ep 4 | Don’t Fall for These 7 Marriage Myths About Conflict https://youtu.be/tFQrzCRVH1E?si=1adlsOt9I_Bk8Arq

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Should You Have Friends of the Opposite Sex?

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 24 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Several noted relationship experts have raised red flags of warning regarding marriage and opposite-sex friendships—are their warnings antiquated, or are they worth considering? How close is too close? These are the challenging questions Marlee Arnold and Julie Baumgardner address in today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast. As you might imagine, there isn’t a black-and-white answer to the question, “Can opposite-sex friendships exist in marriage?”, but there are clear guardrails to consider to keep you and your spouse from entering the danger zone. This episode guides you through healthy boundaries and considerations to keep top of mind related to this controversial topic.

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Time Stamps:

(1:37) Can opposite-sex friendships exist in marriage?

(4:05) Boundaries and scenarios related to opposite-sex friendships such as lunch with a coworker

(8:50) Are there any things that should be off-limits when talking/having conversations with friends of the opposite-sex?

(11:00) How to know if you’re in the danger zone

(12:44) How to talk to your spouse if you’re uncomfortable with an opposite-sex friendship

(15:45) Boundaries and scenarios related to friendships with other couples

(17:38) What to do if you’ve started developing feelings for an opposite-sex friend

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Links:

“NOT ‘Just Friends,’” Shirley Glass https://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503

“Anatomy of an Affair,” Dave Carder https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Affair-Attractions-Addictions-Marriage/dp/080241673X

“Close Calls,” Dave Carder https://www.amazon.com/Close-Calls-Adulterers-Protecting-Marriage/dp/0802442110

“Torn Asunder,” Dave Carder https://www.amazon.com/Torn-Asunder-Recovering-Extramarital-Affair/dp/0802471358

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Ask a marriage question to be answered on the show. https://marriage.winshape.org/podcast/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“Can Opposite-Sex Friendships Exist in Marriage?” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/opposite-sex-friendships/

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

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What Does Spiritual Leadership Mean, Anyway?

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 17 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000

What does spiritual leadership mean, anyway? In today’s conversation with Julie Baumgardner, Rob Philo shares how he and many hear growing up, “It’s your job to be a spiritual leader for your family,” but what does that mean? Together, Julie and Rob break down what spiritual leadership means, what it looks like on a day-to-day basis, and how men and women can invite God into their marriage relationship. If the topic of spiritual leadership feels ambiguous, check out this conversation to begin to unearth a bit of the ambiguity.

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Time Stamps:

(0:45) What does spiritual leadership mean, anyway?

(3:35) What does spiritual leadership look like on a day-to-day basis?

(9:10) How to invite God into your relationship if you and your spouse are in different places spiritually

(14:07) How to pray together

(16:40) What is God calling us to in our marriage?

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Links:

Sacred Pathways Quiz https://www.csmedia1.com/paseodelrey.org/sacred-pathways-quiz.pdf

Spiritual Pathways Assessment https://groupleaders.org/curriculum-feed/spiritual-pathways-activity#personal-assessment

Baylor University Data https://www.praystay.org/rare-research-on-prayer/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Ask a marriage question to be answered on the show. https://marriage.winshape.org/podcast/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“Seven Simple Prayers To Pray for Your Spouse and Kids” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/seven-simple-prayers-to-pray-for-your-spouse-and-kids/

“Prayers for Adult Children” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/prayers-for-adult-children/

“How To Create a Vision for Your Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/setting-a-vision-for-your-marriage/

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Don’t Fall for These 7 Marriage Myths About Conflict

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 10 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000

In episode one of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Julie Baumgardner busted seven dangerous marriage myths. Today, she’s back to bust seven more, with a focus on conflict. Have you ever heard, “Never go to bed angry,” or “Differences will ruin your marriage,”? These, and other similar statements, are marriage myths! For example, Julie explains that differences can wreak havoc in your marriage if you don’t learn how to make them work for your marriage, but they aren’t going to ruin your relationship from the start. Differences aren’t deficient; they’re just different. So, don’t fall for these marriage myths related to conflict—listen to this conversation with Rob and Julie and learn how to debunk them.

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Time Stamps:

(0:43) Never go to bed angry.

(4:15) Healthy marriages are conflict free.

(7:40) Getting married helps couples in struggling relationships.

(9:46) Having children helps couples in struggling marriages.

(11:56) Differences will ruin your marriages.

(15:27) Seek out marriage counseling as the last resort.

(18:20) Every disagreement must have a resolution.

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Ask a marriage question to be answered on the show. https://marriage.winshape.org/podcast/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“15 Common Marriage Myths” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/15-common-myths-about-marriage-dont-fall-for-them/

“Is It OK To Agree To Disagree With My Spouse?” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/is-it-ok-to-agree-to-disagree-with-my-spouse/

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

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Relevant Episodes:

Ep 1 | Busting 7 of the Biggest Marriage Myths https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmvqStm35U4&list=PLRJSsrzAeNkWj1V-edJVI2OBzGXurWsJV&index=5

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The Secret Ingredient To Staying Connected

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 3 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Is it possible to stay connected to your spouse and communicate well even during the busiest seasons of marriage? Yes! Marlee Arnold and Julie Baumgardner walk couples through how to do just that—connect with each other amid the chaos. Whether it’s graduate school, demanding careers, little kids, teenagers, or elderly parents, there’s something you’ll be able to relate to in this episode. Learn practical tips for communicating well—how much should you be communicating daily and about what? How do you enter into deeper, more intimate conversation? How do you incorporate fun and playing together back into your marriage? Listen to this conversation!

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Time Stamps:

(6:33) How much should you be communicating daily and about what

(10:45) One way to improve overall communication and connectedness

(13:37) How to enter deeper, more intimate communication

(20:48) How to incorporate having fun and playing together back into your schedule

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Ask a marriage question to be answered on the show. https://marriage.winshape.org/podcast/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“25 Ideas: How To Reconnect With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/25-things-to-do-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse/

“What To Talk About With Your Spouse To Reconnect” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/what-to-talk-about-with-your-spouse-to-reconnect/

“Learn How To Make a Daily Difference in Your Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/learn-how-to-make-a-simple-daily-difference-in-your-marriage/

“Five Reasons Why Date Nights Matter for Your Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/why-date-nights-matter/

“Seven Ideas: How To Communicate Better With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/seven-ideas-how-to-communicate-better-with-your-spouse/

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How To Keep Your In-Laws From Becoming Out-Laws

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Rob Philo and Julie Baumgardner break down the controversial topic—in-laws. Spoiler—in-laws aren’t monsters! But navigating relationships with them can be challenging for couples of all ages. In this conversation, Rob and Julie discuss three common scenarios couples may face with their in-laws, providing several strategies along the way for how you and your spouse can wade these waters in the most Christ honoring way for one another and each of your parents. Julie reminds us all that becoming one with your spouse and forming the foundation for your unique family dynamic is honoring you and honoring your parents. It’s possible to have respectful, successful, and life-giving relationships with your in-laws!

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Time Stamps:

(1:35) Scenario one—how to deal with unsolicited advice from in-laws

(5:30) When you think a conversation needs to be had with your in-laws, but your spouse doesn’t

(10:00) Boundaries in the context of relationships with in-laws

(13:48) Scenario two—balancing time between two sets of in-laws

(17:45) Scenario three—when you married into a family and you don’t feel like you’re a part of the family

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Links:

“Reluctantly Related,” Deanna Brand https://www.amazon.com/Reluctantly-Related-Mother-Law-Daughter/dp/098881000X

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Ask a marriage question to be answered on the show. https://marriage.winshape.org/podcast/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“How To Tell Your Parents You Won’t Be Coming Home for Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-tell-your-parents-you-wont-be-home-for-christmas/

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Busting 7 of the Biggest Marriage Myths

rphilo@winshape.org (WinShape Foundation) — Wed, 20 Mar 2024 07:30:00 +0000

The WinShape Marriage Podcast tackles the big questions and everyday challenges couples face in marriage, anchored in biblical truth and research, and it’s hosted by Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo. In episode one, Julie Baumgardner, senior director of WinShape Marriage, busts seven dangerous marriage myths like “Marriage is 50/50,” and “Married sex is boring.” The statements addressed are common sentiments couples read or are told, but the truth is, they are marriage myths, and dangerous ones at that. Don’t fall for them—instead, learn how to debunk them!

----------

Time Stamps:

(1:45) If you marry the “right” person, you will always feel in love.

(3:30) Marriage is 50/50.

(7:38) Your spouse completes you—they should fulfill all your needs.

(11:33) If your spouse really loves you, they will know what you want and need.

(14:38) Happy couples do everything together.

(17:57) Married sex is boring.

(21:30) There is a universal path in marriage like having children.

----------

Links:

“Hot Monogamy,” Patricia Love and Jo Robinson https://www.amazon.com/Hot-Monogamy-Essential-Passionate-Lovemaking/dp/0452273668

“God, Sex, and Your Marriage,” Juli Slattery https://www.amazon.com/God-Your-Marriage-Juli-Slattery/dp/0802429017

Authentic Intimacy Website https://www.authenticintimacy.com/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Ask a marriage question to be answered on the show. https://marriage.winshape.org/podcast/

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Relevant Resources:

“15 Common Marriage Myths” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/15-common-myths-about-marriage-dont-fall-for-them/

“How to Spice up Your Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-spice-up-your-marriage/

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Trailer: Season 1

rphilo@winshape.org (Marlee Arnold, Rob Philo) — Wed, 6 Mar 2024 15:30:00 +0000

Have a marriage question you'd like answered on the podcast? Submit it at winshapemarriage.org/podcast.

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The WinShape Marriage Podcast

A Marriage Story: The Oldhams

How To Build a Love That Laughs | Ted Cunningham

Should We Go to a Marriage Intensive? | Dr. Peter & Heather Larson

The Power of Connection in Your Marriage | Dr. Greg & Erin Smalley

Talking About Money in Your Marriage | Ron Blue

Navigating Hard Seasons in Marriage | Chris & Jamie Bailey

A Marriage Story: The Sharpes

Answering Your Marriage Questions: 2026

Practical Tips for Parents Who Want Their Kids To Know and Love Jesus

Answering Your Questions About Faith in Marriage

What Does Healthy Conflict Look Like? | Eric Wooten

Answering Your Questions About Sex | Dr. Juli Slattery

A Marriage Story: The Gables

REPLAY: Growing Your Relationship With God and Your Spouse in 2025

REPLAY: How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman

The Truth Behind Marriage Expectations

What Does It Mean To Have an Emotionally Safe Marriage? | Dr. Joshua Straub

Talking the Enneagram and Marriage | Jeff & Beth McCord

REPLAY: Building a Culture of Gratitude in Your Marriage

How Do You *Actually* Know You’re Ready for Marriage | Jeff & Debby McElroy

How To Apologize to Your Spouse | Dr. Gary Chapman

A Marriage Story: The Robys

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Marriage | Ted Lowe

Social Media Is Lying to You About Marriage | Katie Bulmer

REPLAY: Getting on the Same Page at Christmas

20 Dates To Try Before 2025 Is Over

Is It OK To Connect With God Differently Than My Spouse? | Gary Thomas

Be a Trampoline in Your Marriage, Not a Mirror | Bob Goff

Trailer: Season 3

Our 8 Favorite Moments From Season 2

The Marriage Advice That Changed Our Lives

What Does Research Say About Pornography? | Nick Stumbo

Our Favorite Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

What Are the 6 Types of Intimacy?

What Research Suggests About Husbands and Wives | Shaunti Feldhahn

Growing Your Relationship With God and Your Spouse in 2025

25 Fun Date Ideas To Try in 2025

Getting on the Same Page at Christmas

6 Common Traits of Couples Who Struggle | Scott Kedersha

Building a Culture of Gratitude in Your Marriage

How To Build Stronger Blended Families | Ron Deal

Dealing With Stress and Anxiety in Marriage | Monique Wells

Intimacy Is More Than Just Sex | Dr. Juli Slattery

Understanding the Honeymoon Phase and the Seven-Year Itch

How To Navigate Grief in Marriage | Laurie Lokey

Making Your Marriage Fun Again!

What We Wish We Knew Earlier in Marriage | Dr. Rob & Amy Rienow

God’s Design for Sex in Marriage | Dr. Juli Slattery

How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman

Trailer: Season 2

Answering Your Marriage Questions: Part 2

Answering Your Marriage Questions: Part 1

An Empty Nester’s Important Advice for Parents

How To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse

Should You Have Friends of the Opposite Sex?

What Does Spiritual Leadership Mean, Anyway?

Don’t Fall for These 7 Marriage Myths About Conflict

The Secret Ingredient To Staying Connected

How To Keep Your In-Laws From Becoming Out-Laws

Busting 7 of the Biggest Marriage Myths

Trailer: Season 1

How Do You Actually Know You’re Ready for Marriage | Jeff & Debby McElroy