The Law of Observation is one of the most empowering and joyful biblical principles that invites us to shape our experiences by where we place our attention. In Philippians 4:8, we’re called to focus on “whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely…” because when we choose to see the good, we bring it to life. This principle reminds us that we’re co-creators of our reality—what we choose to notice and appreciate influences not only our inner peace but also our relationships.

Amplifying Positivity in Relationships

Our attention is like a spotlight: by focusing on our loved ones’ strengths, kindness, and positive qualities, we encourage those traits to flourish. This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges, but it does mean choosing to nurture the good. In doing so, we create an atmosphere of love, gratitude, and connection that blesses everyone around us.

Shaping Responses to Challenges

Relationships inevitably bring challenges, but the Law of Observation offers a path through them. Instead of dwelling on what’s wrong, we can choose to observe solutions and the potential for healing. Philippians 4:8 encourages us to “think about such things” that are praiseworthy and excellent, reminding us to approach each other with grace and a willingness to see the best in each situation.

Creating an Atmosphere of Growth and Support

When we focus on growth and potential in our relationships, we help create an environment where love and respect thrive. Instead of fixating on flaws or conflicts, the Law of Observation helps us see relationships as a work in progress, inviting patience and grace.

Encouraging Mindfulness and Presence

Relationships flourish when we bring our full presence and attention to each interaction. This law reminds us to listen deeply, to cherish each moment, and to remain present. Such mindfulness strengthens bonds, builds trust, and nurtures genuine connection.

Seeing with Faith and Spiritual Vision

The Law of Observation aligns beautifully with faith. By choosing to observe with a heart of belief and trust, we “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). Through spiritual observation, we align our focus with God’s promises, nurturing the unseen but powerful potential within ourselves and others.

Practical Steps to Apply the Law of Observation in Relationships

1. Practice Gratitude: Regularly acknowledge and express gratitude for qualities you admire in others. This reinforces positive attributes and shifts your focus toward appreciation.
2. Reframe Challenges: When facing difficulties, ask, “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I respond with love?” This reframing allows us to focus on growth and healing.
3. Choose Your Observational Focus: Each day, decide what you want to see more of in your relationships. For instance, if you desire more kindness, make it a habit to notice and appreciate kind acts.

The Law of Observation reminds us that life isn’t just something that happens to us; it’s something we actively shape. When we observe the good, focus on spiritual truths, and nurture love, we create deeper, more harmonious connections that reflect God’s grace. By choosing to see the best in those around us, we bring forth a life filled with joy, gratitude, and divine possibilities.

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The words we say about ourselves and each other have immense power. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." What we confess about our relationships—whether out loud or in our hearts—sets the tone for how we experience them.

When you  agree on certain values or intentions, you’re essentially creating a shared story. These agreements become the foundation of how you relate to each other, how you handle challenges, and how you move forward together. It could be as simple as saying, “We’re committed to growing together,” or “We believe in the best for each other.”

Imagine the power of a couple or a family aligning their words, intentions, and actions. Instead of living reactively, you’re shaping your relationship with intention. Amos 3:3 asks, "Can two walk together unless they are agreed?" Walking together in agreement is the key to staying in sync through all the phases of life.

2. Writing a Story Together Instead of Living by Default

Many of us go through life and relationships on autopilot. We get caught up in routines, react to situations as they come, and before we know it, we’ve allowed the story of our relationships to be written for us by circumstances.

But what if you made the choice to write your own story together? This means sitting down as a couple, as a family, or even with a close friend, and talking about what you both want. What do you value most? How do you want to handle challenges? What kind of story do you want to look back on in 5, 10, or 20 years?

Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." While we may not be able to control everything, we can still set intentions and choose how we will respond to life’s twists and turns. By planning and agreeing together, we create a shared vision that will guide us through both smooth sailing and stormy weather.

3. Being Flexible and Adaptable as the Story Evolves

Every relationship goes through seasons—times of joy, times of growth, times of struggle. The agreements and confessions that guided you during your early years together may need to shift as you encounter new phases of life. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us, "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven."

Being adaptable is key. As you move through different stages—whether it’s starting a family, building careers, or facing transitions—you may need to revisit your agreements and make new confessions. The shared story you write together isn’t set in stone—it’s a living narrative that can grow and evolve just as you do.

For example, what worked when you were newlyweds may not fit when you have children or enter retirement. This flexibility allows for growth and ensures that your relationship stays dynamic and resp

4. Intentional, Excited, and Motivated

What makes a shared story exciting is the ability to intentionally shape it. When you approach your relationship with excitement and motivation, you set the tone for how each new chapter will unfold. You don’t have to settle for a “business as usual” mentality in your relationship.

This intentionality doesn’t mean everything will be perfect. But it does mean you’ll have a roadmap to navigate difficulties and a shared vision for where you’re headed.

Romans 12:2 encourages us to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." As we intentionally renew our thoughts and words, we can transform not only ourselves but the relationships we are building. With each new season, there’s an opportunity to write a new chapter—a chapter filled with growth, love, and mutual understanding.

5. Practical Steps to Start Writing Your Story Together

• Create Agreements: Sit down with your partner or family and talk about the values and principles you both hold dear. Make simple, positive agreements such as, "We will listen to understand" or "We will approach challenges as a team."
• Confess Good Things: Speak life into your relationship. Begin each day with confessions like, "We are building something beautiful together," or "We are a family that supports and loves each other."
• Stay Flexible: Revisit these agreements regularly. As your relationship evolves, be willing to adapt. What worked last year may need to shift as new challenges or opportunities arise.
• Be Excited: Approach this process with joy and excitement. You’re not just reacting to life; you’re actively creating a shared story that reflects your values, hopes, and dreams.

Conclusion: A New Chapter Together

Writing a shared story isn’t about perfection—it’s about intention. It’s about being proactive in how you relate to your partner, family, or loved ones. It’s about building a narrative based on trust, growth, and mutual support.

As you move forward, remember that this story will evolve. Philippians 1:6 assures us, "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion." Trust that as you write this story together, it will unfold beautifully with God’s guidance, growing and changing in ways that reflect the depth of love you’ve built.

So, let’s stop living by default and start writing our shared story—together.

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The Story I’m Telling Myself About You

Have you ever caught yourself making up stories about what someone you love is thinking or feeling, without ever asking them? We all do it. When someone we care about is quiet, distant, or does something we don’t understand, our minds automatically start filling in the blanks. We imagine what might be going on, sometimes assuming the worst. But these stories we tell ourselves can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and emotional distance.

What if, instead of guessing or assuming, we shared these stories with the person we love? Imagine saying, “This is the story I’m telling myself about you right now,” and using that phrase to start a real, honest conversation. This simple sentence has the power to stop assumptions in their tracks and bring us closer to the people we care about by helping us get on the same page. It’s a great way to break the cycle of misunderstanding, build trust, and foster deeper connections.

Owning Your Own Narrative

Before you ever have this conversation with someone you love, it’s important to first have it with yourself. The phrase “This is the story I’m telling myself” encourages self-awareness. It helps you acknowledge that you’re responsible for the stories you tell yourself and that these stories are just one interpretation of reality. Often, when we feel hurt or frustrated, it’s easy to blame the other person for what we think is happening. But by owning your own narrative, you take a moment to reflect and realize that the story may be shaped by your own feelings or insecurities, not by what the other person is actually doing.

This shift is important because it moves the focus away from blaming someone else and puts it on understanding your own internal process. It encourages you to pause, recognize that the way you’re interpreting the situation may not be the full truth, and approach the conversation with a mindset of curiosity rather than accusation. By owning your story first, you open the door to a more honest, understanding dialogue that allows both of you to connect more deeply.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

In our relationships with family, friends, or anyone we care about, it’s easy to create stories in our heads when we don’t know all the facts. When someone’s behavior or words are unclear, we might start making up explanations that are influenced by our own worries or past experiences. For example, if someone you love is unusually quiet, you might think, “They’re upset with me,” when in reality, they might just be tired or distracted.

These stories are often just guesses, but they can feel real to us. Without checking if they’re true, we act on these assumptions. Using the phrase, “This is the story I’m telling myself about you,” allows us to stop and share our feelings in a way that invites understanding. It’s a way of saying, “This is what I’m thinking, but I might be wrong—can you help me understand?” This gives the other person a chance to explain, and you both have the opportunity to clear things up before misunderstandings take root.

The Impact of Assumptions

When we act on these assumptions without checking if they’re true, it can lead to real problems. You might end up feeling hurt, misunderstood, or even angry about something that wasn’t happening at all. These misunderstandings, left unchecked, can grow, causing emotional distance and making it harder to connect with the people we love.

A lot of times, the stories we tell ourselves come from our own insecurities or fears. If we’ve been hurt in the past, we might assume the worst, even when it isn’t happening. Without addressing these feelings, they can create unnecessary tension in our relationships. If we don’t talk about what’s really going on, we risk building walls that keep us from understanding each other.

How to Break the Habit of Assuming

The phrase “This is the story I’m telling myself about you” can help break this habit of making assumptions. It allows us to pause and think about what we’re really feeling before reacting. Instead of assuming we know what the other person is thinking, we share our thoughts and feelings openly, creating room for a real conversation.

This phrase works because it invites both people to share their perspectives. It encourages us to ask questions and be curious, rather than jumping to conclusions. Instead of reacting based on a story we’ve created in our minds, we can check in with the other person and get to the truth. When we’re curious rather than assuming, we’re more likely to understand each other and avoid unnecessary conflict.

Building Closer Connections

Using this phrase also takes a bit of courage. It means admitting that we don’t have all the answers, and that can feel vulnerable. But that vulnerability can lead to deeper trust and stronger connections. When we’re open and honest about how we feel, it makes the people we love feel safe to do the same.

It’s easy to react out of fear or frustration when we’re unsure about something. But instead of reacting, we can pause and ask, “Is this really true? Or is this just the story I’m telling myself?” By choosing to be curious and checking in with someone you love, you avoid unnecessary arguments and build stronger, healthier relationships. Being honest about your thoughts and inviting clarity fosters understanding and emotional closeness.

How You Can Start Today

If you notice that you’re starting to make up stories in your head about someone you love, try using this phrase to check in with yourself first and then with them. Instead of jumping to conclusions, take a moment to reflect on what you’re feeling. Share it with them using, “This is the story I’m telling myself about you right now,” and see how it opens the door to an honest conversation.

When we stop assuming and start asking for clarity, we build trust and get closer to the people we care about. These conversations may feel uncomfortable at first, but they can help us grow and strengthen our relationships. The next time you feel unsure, try using this phrase to break the habit of making assumptions, and watch how it transforms your connection with those you love.

Scripture to Reflect On:

• Philippians 4:8 – "Think about things that are true, noble, and worthy of praise."
• Romans 12:2 – "Let your mind be transformed so you can know God’s will."
• Proverbs 4:23 – "Guard your heart, because everything you do flows from it."
• Psalm 19:14 – "Let the words I speak and the thoughts in my heart be pleasing to you, God."

By using this simple communication tool, you can prevent misunderstandings and strengthen your relationships with the people you love. Building trust and fostering open conversations with those around you will create more meaningful and connected relationships.

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Every relationship carries within it a dream—a vision of deep connection, mutual understanding, and unshakeable trust. This dream is not just a fantasy; it is a tangible reality that can be achieved when two essential elements come together: sensitivity and security. Together, these create the foundation for a healthy, fulfilling partnership that allows love to thrive.

Sensitivity + Security = The Relationship Dream

The Key Takeaway:

Sensitivity is a beautiful and necessary component of a strong relationship, but it must be paired with security to truly flourish. Without security, sensitivity can trigger insecurities and lead to destructive patterns. Therefore, building a secure foundation of trust and self-assurance is essential for any relationship to thrive.

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Things to Note:

• Daily Sessions with Bob & Audrey
• Afternoons and evenings are yours to enjoy at your leisure
• Reserve your spot early as availability is limited to 10 couples
• This is a beautiful and luxurious All-Inclusive Experience
• Experience the Joy of Life and Love!  Laughing and cherishing every moment together as a couple isn’t just a wish—it can become your reality!
• Anticipate the heartfelt Renewal of Your Vows, a truly unforgettable moment.
Plus, enjoy ample free time to bask in the sunshine, reconnect, and dream big for your marriage!
• Space is limited, so secure your spot soon!

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I know… it sounds so dramatic, but it’s easy to feel like we have failed as parents when we feel unappreciated or even attacked or blamed. This week, we faced some unexpected disappointments, and insecurity stepped in and initiated negative narratives that were (very) short of hopefulness. But it was a quick turnaround!

Every setback in any relationship is an opportunity for growth and every contrast we encounter is a chance to come back even stronger. And most of all, more secure.  

The next time you feel contrast, in other words, something that is clearly NOT your preference, it’s the perfect time to give yourself a pass, and then find the golden nuggets of wisdom that will make you brighter, stronger, wiser, shinier, and more resilient than ever.  

The first thing to remember after experiencing a contrasting disappointment is to remember that you have a choice. You can attach your meaning to the situation. If you can embrace your security in God’s friendship and reassure yourself of the gift your personality is, you can tell yourself a story of redemption and restoration. In every and any situation. This is powerful news!  

When we feel judged, we tend to quickly judge that person back. When we react out of a broken heart, we will continue to project judgments on the people around us to feel better about ourselves. This is what keeps us stuck.  

We can develop the skill and compassion to carry one another’s feelings of pain, rather than correct them. There’s a season of understanding and validating that is extremely helpful, and is an effective way to show unconditional love.  

Research shows that the happiest and most satisfied people are those who see their loved ones in a positive light…many times even more positively than they see themselves! A highly thought of person is a well-loved person.  

You can learn to change your mind… and your relationships will change. Instead of a fixed mindset (This will never change!) we encourage you to develop a growth mindset! (I can adjust!). Problems feel huge at the moment, but when your mindset adjusts, your choice is engaged, and the “problem” loses its “hugeness” and power.  

Integrity and Intent coupled together create hope and trust. And when that integrity is strong, and foundationally sound, it’s the perfect place to let your imagination dream with new ideas and tap into wondrous possibilities! 

Great Ideas to Ponder:

• What do you think about yourself?
• How or what do you think about your spouse/family members?
• What is one of the purposes of your marriage/family relationships?
• What are your current thoughts and feelings toward your most significant relationships?
• Start today, plan that one thing you never thought you could, and do something about it.  

When we make bold dreams, and our hearts are willing and surrender to God’s ways and God's thoughts, we milk life for everything it’s got for us! So let’s apply this to our lives in a very practical way. Let’s squeeze the best out of every situation and refuse to waste our pain. And when we aren’t perfect, and life isn’t perfect, we give ourselves a HUGE PASS and say, I shall hunt for the treasure here and learn to love better every day.

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When helping people in their relationships, we find people continually asking for a deeper connection, so that their love, support, and companionship are received and reciprocal. By breaking free from the shackles of unhealthy ties to agendas, comparisons, and vices, individuals can foster relationships that are grounded in authenticity, mutual respect, and personal growth. These healthier connections not only enhance emotional well-being but also serve as a foundation for a more fulfilling and harmonious life.

 Beneath the surface of seemingly healthy relationships, there can exist toxic elements that hinder personal growth and emotional well-being. Let’s identify these and break any unhealthy ties to agendas, comparisons, and vices that can taint our relationships, causing significant harm to ourselves and those around us. This is a great day for freedom! 

1.  Timelines

Do you get impatient presuming things aren’t moving fast enough? Impatience is an unhealthy tie that can corrode the fabric of even the strongest relationships! When we struggle with impatience, we often prioritize immediate gratification over the long-term well-being of the partnership. Impatient behaviors can manifest as being short-tempered, demanding quick results, or constantly pressuring one's partner. These actions create tension, erode trust, and hinder effective communication. Impatience can also lead to impulsive decision-making, causing significant rifts in the relationship as important issues are not given the time and attention they deserve. By fostering patience and understanding, individuals can create a nurturing environment where growth, compromise, and trust can flourish.

Empowering Belief Suggestion: I can relax and be calm. When progress isn’t fast enough for me, I can trust God that He is working behind the scenes. God’s presence is my safe and calm retreat.  

2. Comparison 

In a society that glorifies perfection and success, we can fall into the trap of comparing ourselves and our families and kids to others.Comparisons can drive a wedge between us, and breed insecurities, resentment, and a constant feeling of inadequacy. When we compare our relationships to others, we fail to appreciate the unique qualities and dynamics within our partnerships. Instead, we should focus on cultivating gratitude and celebrating the strengths and growth in our relationships, fostering an atmosphere of love and support.

Empowering Belief Suggestion: Even if it doesn’t feel fair I can trust in God’s justice. I choose to smile and accept and expect abundance and promotion for my life and family. I am not alone, I am in partnership with God and His friendship vindicates me.  

3. Hidden Agendas

Hidden agendas can be sneaky, and we don’t even know we have them. Sub-consciously we are tied to unspoken expectations and agendas. These hidden motives can sabotage the authenticity of our connections and complicate our relationships with manipulation. All this, without even trying! 

It is crucial to be transparent and genuine in our intentions, communicating openly and honestly with our spouses, kids, and friends. The best way to be free of hidden agendas is to resist fear regarding others. The other important approach is to resist the temptation to think that others need to share the same values and convictions as you. This can be challenging when you’re in the same family!  

Empowering Belief Suggestion: Even though I have dreams, desires, and good ideas for my family and friends, I release them to have their own dreams and their journey. I trust Jesus to speak to their hearts, and I let go of my opinions.

4. Vices

Unhealthy relationships often involve the presence of vices such as addiction or substance abuse. These destructive habits can erode trust, communication, and overall well-being within a relationship. Vices can create a toxic environment that is detrimental to personal growth and the vitality of the relationship. Breaking free from these vices includes having empathy for yourself and others and creating goals and asking for help and support. 

Empowering Belief Suggestion: I am not a disappointment to God, myself, or others. When I crave comfort, I immediately move toward my friendship with God in my secret place. I let go of the addictions that give me false comfort.  

5. Distractions

In a world filled with constant stimulation and demands on our attention, it is crucial to recognize the impact of these distractions and actively work to mitigate their influence. By prioritizing uninterrupted quality time, fostering open and attentive communication, and practicing mindful presence, we can navigate the distraction-filled landscape and build healthier and more fulfilling connections. Embracing intentional engagement with our loved ones allows us to forge deeper bonds and create a sense of belonging in an increasingly distracted world.

Empowering Belief Suggestion: I am courageous and wise. I value the gift of each day and the time I’ve been given. I forgive myself, and I focus on what’s important. 

6. Limited Beliefs

It’s so important to be aware of our inner dialogue! We can have unhealthy ties to our narrative, and remain unaware of the implications! The stories we tell ourselves create the trajectory of our lives. Telling yourself positive and life-giving faith-filled stories about your life, your future, the people around you, and your future is powerful and gives space for hope, possibilities, and answers to prayer.  

Empowering Belief Suggestion: I write the truth in my heart that’s in complete agreement with God’s promise for me and my future. I invest in heart beliefs that establish peace and wealth and Lordship with Jesus.  

7. Resentment 

Resentment breeds emotional distance, leading us to withdraw and withhold. Breaking the unhealthy ties of resentment is a powerful step toward newfound freedom! Lingering resentment prevents genuine closeness and impedes the cultivation of empathy and compassion. The emotional disconnection can manifest in a lack of affection and withdrawal. Overcoming resentment necessitates a willingness to empathize with one another's experiences, puts nerdy into practice, and fosters an atmosphere of emotional safety and support, and acceptance.  

Empowering Belief Suggestion: I sent away the offense of what that person said or did to me. This offense is not benefiting my life, and I don’t give it any more power. I turn and move towards the peace of God’s presence and I experience mercy for me, and I extend that mercy to others. 

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1. For my big break

Empowering belief suggestion: I am not desperate for I know God as my source. I am not in lack for He has promised to provide all that I need, I choose and I live in peace for he keeps me as the apple of His eye and hides me under the shadow of His wing, Psalm 17:8.  

             2. For a God moment

Empowering belief suggestion: I have access to my friendship with God every moment. I am not a disappointment to God. My God-given imagination serves me and I find courage to walk in harmony with /god and His design for my life.

3.  For my spouse to stop________

Empowering belief suggestion: My spouse (loved one) is not my limitation or problem or obstacle. I choose to focus on the strengths and gifts of my spouse.  

4. For my spouse to start ____________

Empowering belief suggestion: I am at peace knowing he/she is not my source, I am complete and have everything I need in my relationship and friendship with God.

5. For my child/parent to start _____________

Empowering belief suggestion: I trust that God is pursuing him/her with His unfailing love, I easily let go of my agendas for others.

6.  For the perfect opportunity

Empowering belief suggestion: I am surrounded by countless opportunities every day. I swim in the seas of possibilities. I easily hear Goed’s voice for inspiration, and direction and act on them.

7. For financial security

Empowering belief suggestion: I am secure and don’t worry about money. I trust God for wisdom and how to use my time and finances wisely. God is my provider.

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Attention is a Big Deal! 

We naturally pay attention to what we are interested in. Take a look at your current life… the fact is, this is not the end of your story! If you still have breath, you are a story that’s being told! Happy moments and happy memories are a gift, but they can also be directions. If you’re interested in a life full of abundance, then let’s stoke the fire of momentum and invest in deciding your intention, attention, and vision for your every day.  

Intention, Attention, and Vision

Here are ten intentions that you may want to set for yourself that would really help your relationships move forward together. When you build momentum in your relationships, you’ll be in an ongoing state of moving forward together, making memories, and sharing meaningful moments. Even when you face obstacles together, you're able to take them in stride as you work together to keep going. Momentum propels you towards fulfilling relationships. It all starts with intention.  

1. Show kindness: “I’m going to be warm towards you and value your perspective and your needs. I’m going to give you the strongest version of me, without reminding you of your weaknesses.”
2. Love unconditionally: “Whether the current conditions are favorable or challenging, I’m going to be consistent and stable in my love for you.”
3. Participate in open and vulnerable communication: “I remember that when I’m vulnerable, it establishes a deeper bond between us and makes us feel closer. When I share my personal journey with you, I am giving you a gift.”
4. Share passion, affection, and intimacy: “I prioritize being affectionate…like trust, it’s something that grows and develops over time. I want you to feel wanted.”
5. Support and appreciation: “Part of supporting you is being enthusiastic when you share your journey with me. Part of appreciating is using words, and being specific with what I’m grateful for! 
6. Compliment and admire: “I don’t settle for stagnation, assuming our relationship is fine because we’re not having conflict. Complimenting and admiring you keeps our relationship fresh and alive.
7. Avoid criticism, complaints, and correcting: “Even when our preferences, values, and convictions are different, I’m not going to bring constant attention to them. Instead, I find a playful and creative way to reach your heart.
8. Personal space without guilt: We are together (in our family, our friendship, our marriage) but we are also individuals, so I am secure enough to allow you space and self-expression.” 
9. Seasons of feeling stuck: “I don’t want to defend, argue, debate, or impose my convictions or my preferences, so I will re-evaluate my expectations, accept you, and be easy to get along with and carefree.” 
10. Don’t question the nature of our relationship: “I won’t judge your intentions or presume you’re against me, even when my feelings are hurt.” Often times I just working through “my own stuff”.

When it comes to attention begin to notice what you pay attention to in your life. The things you feed your attention with will tend to grow (both positive and negative). What you withhold attention FROM, tends to wither and fall away. Nothing drives people up a wall faster than being ignored. 

We all love attention because it provides validation. Whatever has your attention has your power. See your attention as currency and spend it on what you value. You have a choice, be decisive and it’s in your power to select what you’re giving your attention to. It’s a big deal! It’s useful to inventory what we are feeding with our attention. 

Vision is the willingness to see.  Take a look at your past and “see” the best. The times together that felt close and fun. There have been a lot of things that have gone really well in your life, but they might be living dormant. Stoke the fires of good times in the past. Remember what you first loved about each other! Talk about your favorite memories!  

The practical definition of faith is simply “Seeing the end from the beginning”. Whatever you’re praying for? See it and feel it now. Smile when you think of your future and your dreams coming true. Journey to find the momentum that will propel you forward. 

A healthy relationship should be easy, smooth, and carefree. That's not saying there will never be challenges or difficulties. That's part of having a passionate, long-term partnership. Don't settle for stagnation there is a surplus of enthusiasm (momentum) available for you! Enthusiasm breeds hope which leads to the dreams of your heart revisited and a future of freedom and joy realized.

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

We all “high-function” in life and our relationships when we are full of joy and peace.  

The profound and simple strategy of Whatever we focus on gets bigger and bigger and stronger and stronger has the potential to change the story of your life.   

Anything you’re not wanting to experience “more of” simply stop looking at it and obsessing over it. Anything you ARE wanting to experience more of….redemptive qualities in your children and spouse, good news, beauty, and hope, look and focus on those things, and you’ll experience a turnaround!

We truly are shaped by our thoughts

Scripture makes it so clear, and offers a clear map to infectious joy: 

4 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you (Philippians 4:4-9).

Troubling Times

What do we do when circumstances and appearances look grim? This is your day to change the story of my life, and encounter peace. If you continue to tell yourself the same story, It’s just a matter of time until there’s another injustice, and life will keep being too serious and there is no fun.  

Try some of these practical steps: 

1. Remind yourself: I can (and will) find joy in this journey. I will not blame anybody for my current circumstances or disappointments. I’m going to give up trying to change anybody. I refuse to measure other people’s progress.  

2. I chose to smile as I imagine the possibilities ahead, even if it isn’t what I first imagined it would be. I give, I consider others, and I sacrifice for others, and therefore discover the art of true giving. It’s more blessed and rewarding to give rather than receive!  

3. Listen with patience, listen like a sponge, and absorb those around you, and any troubles they have incurred. Learning to truly listen expresses love, acceptance, and compassion in a way that will turn circumstances around. Everyone loves to feel heard! 

What do I do to foster infectious joy?

Celebrate even when there isn’t a big event! It's important to mark small, daily successes and things “going well”. Even if it’s about getting off work earlier than expected or starting an exercise regime. These are positive events that gain strength and significance when we make time to recognize them with excitement and affection. Celebrate good news together. Search for good news! You will find what you’re looking for. And “match” the excitement and celebration of others.

Enjoy listening to God’s voice, and consider developing this skill. Hunches are the hounds of heaven! Every simple step makes a big difference in your relationships. Don’t underestimate what you can do today!

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

#5 Internationalize your Internal Dialogue

Don’t listen to yourself, talk to yourself.  

Life is shaped by your thoughts, so changing your thoughts hugely affects your relationships. Understanding the creative power of our thoughts as they’re aligned with God’s thoughts is a game-changer and it’s a developed skill worth pursuing!

#6 Ask for God’s Perspective

Every time we humble ourselves and ask and are teachable, we open the gateway to hearing God’s perspective.

#7 Everything has something to teach me

Most desire a life that is sweet and simple, but the paradox is, if we look for happiness we won’t find it, yet if we seek wisdom, and his Kingdom, happiness finds us!

#8 Draw energy from the beauty around you

We must recognize the energy sources available to us, and receive rejuvenation and refreshing as much as possible!

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

PART ONE OF FOUR

Taking time to articulate your desires is extremely valuable. The thoughts in your mind and the dreams of your heart can be unpacked and clarified, and this is a gift to your relationships. Knowing yourself, and having peace in your heart draws you into the highest and best version of yourself.  

God loves to give us the desires of our heart

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart”. Psalm 84:11 confirms, “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly”. Just like any loving Father, God loves to give you unexpected pleasures and happy surprises!

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

Thriving in marriage relationships requires vulnerability, openness, and honesty. These work well and are maintained in a culture of safety and skill sets of navigating conflict with kindness and mercy. Unfortunately, most marriages live with 69% unresolved conflict and never figure out how to be truly honest and truthful without hurting each other.

When feelings are hurt, insecurities usually arise, and both husband and wife retreat or react, finding a way to survive and protect their perception of safety. The result is a dysfunctional cycle that seems never-ending and can lead to desperation.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.

The simple and undeniable power of hope is understated. There is enough power in hope to lift anyone out of the deepest pit of despair. People everywhere are craving it. For some, their very lives depend on it. When it feels like an impossible situation, it is the first step toward choosing life. It is available and it is yours for the choosing.

If hope is so powerful, then how does one get desperate enough to have an affair?
In my case, it was an affair. But the attraction to any addiction shares the same language. I can look back and identify the voice of desperation enticing me to follow its dangerous demise.

https://www.audreyclub.com/

https://www.bobandaudrey.com/

Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.