Anchored Leadership: For Business Owners Ready to Lead and Not Just Manage

83 - The Shift: Designing Your Business To Fit Your Life Today

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 28 Apr 2026 06:00:00 +0000

There comes a point in business where the question quietly shifts. It’s no longer just about growth, efficiency, or what the next opportunity is, it becomes something deeper: is this still right for me?

In this episode, Kari reflects on a pattern she’s seeing across experienced business owners, and in herself. Beneath conversations about time, systems, and leadership, there’s a quieter layer emerging. A shift from building and pushing forward…to listening, adapting, and intentionally designing what comes next. This is not about starting over. It’s about recognizing that the version of success you built your business on may not fully fit the person you’ve become.

Key Topics Discussed:

The underlying question many business owners are facing: Am I still building the right thing for who I am now?
How learning evolves as you grow - shifting from structured, external input to slower, more reflective, experience-based insight
The difference between chasing growth and intentionally designing a business that fits your life
Why high-performing owners often default to old patterns, and how awareness allows you to interrupt them earlier
What it really means to adapt at this stage of business, when life, relationships, and energy all carry more weight
The shift from building systems for efficiency to building systems that create ease and sustainability
How holding things more loosely allows your team, systems, and decisions to actually work better
The role of a steady nervous system in making strong, grounded leadership decisions
Understanding the natural rhythm of leadership, when to push, when to act, and when to step back and reflect
A deeper look at what it means to be “anchored” as a leader - not perfect, but aware, steady, and intentional

This episode is an invitation to pause not to slow everything down, but to create just enough space to hear your own thinking again. Because at this stage, the answers you’re looking for are rarely found in another strategy or framework. They come from being honest about what fits now, what no longer does, and what you actually want to build moving forward.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify - start building a business that works for you, not just because of you.

Find the hours you didn't know you were losing and get the Time Leak Toolkit: https://kari-lotzien.mykajabi.com/pl/2148756811. For capable, experienced business owners who are always busy but never feel caught up. You want to know exactly where your time is disappearing and more importantly how you can get it back.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

82 - Caring for Aging Parents When You're the One Everyone Leans On with Nurse Advocates Pam Dunwald and Linda Kritikos

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien, Pam Dunwald, Linda Kritikos) — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 10:00:00 +0000

What happens when you’re leading a business, supporting a team, and suddenly stepping into the role of caregiver for an aging parent?

In this episode, Kari sits down with nurse advocates Pam and Linda of Nurse Advocate Consulting to unpack one of the most emotionally and logistically complex seasons many business owners face.

This is not just about healthcare; it’s about leadership under pressure.

They share real stories from decades of experience supporting families through Alzheimer’s, cancer, and unexpected health crises. You’ll hear what most families aren’t prepared for, why the system feels overwhelming, and how to navigate it without losing yourself or your business, in the process.

If you’re part of the “sandwich generation” or know this season is coming, this conversation will give you both clarity and relief.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why caring for aging parents often catches business owners off guard
The emotional load of guilt, uncertainty, and responsibility, and how to navigate it
The hidden complexity of healthcare systems, insurance, and care coordination
How to divide responsibilities within families (like you would in a business)
Practical strategies to protect your time while still showing up for your family
Why systems, communication, and planning are essential in caregiving
The importance of including your loved one in decision-making
What advance directives and healthcare power of attorney really mean, and why they matter
How to avoid crisis-mode decision-making with proactive planning
The role of a healthcare advocate and how they can support your family

This is one of those seasons that asks more of you than you expected and not just as a business owner, but as a human being. If you take nothing else from this conversation, let it be this: you don’t have to figure it all out in the middle of a crisis. Start the conversations. Put a few simple systems in place. Ask for support sooner than you think you need it. Because the goal isn’t to carry all of this perfectly, it’s to navigate it in a way that protects your capacity, honours your family, and allows you to keep leading your business without losing yourself in the process.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify - start building a business that works for you, not just because of you.

Connect with Pam and Linda and learn more about her incredible work here:

Website: www.yournurseadvocateconsulting.com/about-us/
Podcast:www.podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healthcare-redefined-advocating-for-aging-adults-and/id1834004821
LinkedInLinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/your-nurse-advocate-consulting-llc/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/yourrnadvocate/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/YourRNAdvocate/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/@yournurseadvocateconsulting/

Read their book “Cracking the Hospice Code: Your Nurse Advocates Debunk the Top 10 Misconceptions of Hospice”

Find the time you need right now. The Time Leak Toolkit

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

81 - Your Availabiilty is Costing More than You Realize / Time Management for Overwhelmed Owners

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 10:00:00 +0000

If you pride yourself on being available, responsive, and always there for your clients and team… this episode might challenge you.

Because what feels like great leadership - being approachable, overdelivering, always saying yes, might actually be the reason you feel constantly pulled, behind, and unable to step into true leadership.

In this episode, Kari breaks down the subtle (and very human) ways business owners train their clients and teams to treat their time, and how those patterns quietly create overwhelm, inconsistency, and even resentment.

This is not about becoming rigid or unavailable. It’s about becoming aligned.

If you’ve ever felt like you can’t catch up, can’t step away, or can’t get to the “big picture” work your business needs…this episode will help you see why.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why constant availability is not the same as strong leadership
How you unintentionally train clients and team members to use (and misuse) your time
The difference between planned time vs. pulled time, and why it matters
How overdelivering can quietly create inconsistency and confusion in your business
The hidden ways leaders undermine their own systems and team expectations
Why your team culture is shaped by what you model - not what you say
How small, “harmless” exceptions lead to long-term overwhelm and resentment
What shifts as you move from service provider > manager > leader
Why leadership requires protected, focused time, and how most owners lose it
A simple 3-day audit to uncover where your time is actually going

At some point, this stops being about time management and starts being about leadership. Not the kind that looks good on paper, but the kind that holds under pressure. You don’t need to become less supportive, less generous, or less available - you just need to become more consistent. Because the truth is, your business will always rise or fall to the standard you model. And when you start protecting your time with the same care you’ve been giving everyone else, you don’t just get your hours back, you finally create the space to lead the business you’ve worked so hard to build.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify - start building a business that works for you, not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

80 - Your Calendar is Lying to You

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 08:00:00 +0000

One of the most common things small business owners say is: “I just need more time.”

But what if the real issue isn’t the big commitments on your calendar, it’s the small moments that quietly steal your attention throughout the day?

In this episode of Be the Anchor, Kari invites you to take a closer look at where your time is actually going. Many entrepreneurs plan well, set priorities, and build thoughtful to-do lists, yet still end the day feeling like nothing meaningful moved forward.

The truth is that the biggest drains on your time rarely show up on your calendar. Instead, they appear as quick questions, interruptions, late meetings, and small tech distractions. Individually, they seem harmless, but together they create the feeling that your day disappeared.

Kari explores the idea of “time leaks” - tiny gaps where minutes slip away unnoticed. When you become aware of these patterns, you can start reclaiming time for leadership, strategy, and meaningful work.

You’ll also learn how reclaiming just 15 minutes a day can add up to more than 60 hours in a year, enough to change how you run your business and your life.

This episode isn’t about productivity hacks. It’s about awareness first. Once you see where your time is leaking, you can make better decisions about where your attention belongs.

If you’ve ever ended the week wondering where your time went, this episode is for you.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why your calendar doesn’t tell the full story about where your time goes
The hidden impact of tiny interruptions throughout your day
The concept of “time leaks” and why they matter more than big commitments
The difference between planned time and pulled time in your business
Three common traps that quietly steal your attention
How reclaiming just 15 minutes a day can give you back over 60 hours a year

If you’ve been feeling like there’s never enough time, this episode is an invitation to slow down and take an honest look at where your minutes are actually going. The goal isn’t to become more productive overnight or to squeeze more into your day. It’s simply to become aware of the small leaks that quietly drain your time and energy. When you start to notice those patterns, even reclaiming fifteen minutes a day can create meaningful space - for leadership thinking, for strategy, or simply for a little more breathing room in your life. Your time is one of your most valuable resources, and learning to protect it is one of the most important leadership skills you can build.

During this episode, Kari introduces The Time Toolkit, a simple and structured process designed to help business owners identify where their time is actually going.

The toolkit walks you through a short four-day audit to help uncover the small interruptions and patterns that quietly steal your time. In less than an hour of total work, many business owners discover opportunities to reclaim five or more hours per month.

You can find the Time Toolkit link here:

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify - start building a business that works for you, not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

79 - Why Work Life Balance is Failing Us and What Actually Works with Steven Langer

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 3 Mar 2026 09:00:00 +0000

In this conversation, Kari sits down with keynote speaker and author Steven Langer to challenge the idea that work-life balance is the goal. Steven makes the case that balance is a trap: it frames work and life as competing forces, sets an unrealistic 50/50 standard, and leaves high performers stuck in guilt and pendulum-swinging.

Instead, Steven introduces work-life coherence, a practical way of living and leading where your work and life fit together and make sense for the season you’re in. Using relatable analogies (the seesaw, the sailing captain, and the hill vs. plateau), they unpack how to create space for complexity, protect your “fulcrum” (health), and lead teams (especially remote teams) with intention, clarity, and trust.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why chasing “balance” can increase stress, guilt, and burnout
The difference between balance and coherence (and why it actually works)
How to shift your days from default to intention, without a full life overhaul
The real cost of interruptions and why leaders need protected deep work time
How “my door is always open” can quietly sabotage leadership capacity
The “hill vs. plateau” test for intense seasons: when to push vs. when to redesign
What real culture looks like (it’s not yoga-at-lunch or a pizza party)
A simple reframe: letting others help you is giving them a gift
How recognition impacts engagement and why it often doesn’t “land”
Why leadership is lonely at the top…and lonelier in the middle
How to build culture and clarity when leading remote or hybrid teams
A sailing analogy for leading through stormy seasons: tighten lines, trust the course

If work-life balance has felt like a hamster wheel with a guilt soundtrack, this episode offers a better target: coherence, a way to lead and live that makes sense for the season you’re in, while protecting the health and systems that make your success sustainable.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify - start building a business that works for you, not just because of you.

As an international keynote and TEDx speaker, Steven cuts through the noise to shift how audiences think about wellness. Blending powerful stories, data, and practical insight, he inspires meaningful change.

Steven doesn’t just motivate, he equips audiences with clear, authentic tools they can actually use. Whether speaking to executives, frontline teams, or leaders, people leave feeling seen, understood, and ready to lead and live with intention.

His keynotes tackle real-world pressures and offer actionable ways to build healthier workplaces and more coherent lives. If you want clarity and forward momentum, Steven Langer delivers.

Connect with Steven and learn more about his incredible work here:
www.wellbydesign.ca
www.linkedin.com/in/steven-langer-b9b64945

Get his book here: wellbydesign.ca/coherence-compass-book

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

78 - Why Leaders Avoid Hard Conversations (and Why It Costs You More Than You Think)

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 17 Feb 2026 09:00:00 +0000

If you tend to avoid conflict, smooth things over, or jump in to fix problems yourself, this episode is for you.

As your business grows, tension and discomfort don’t mean something is broken; they’re signs that your business is evolving. In this episode of Be the Anchor, Kari explores the critical (and often uncomfortable) shift from being a capable problem-solver to becoming a true leader.

You’ll learn why avoiding hard conversations keeps you stuck in reaction mode, how fixing problems for your team actually limits their growth, and what leadership looks like when responsibility is shared instead of absorbed.

This episode is a continuation of the recent conversation about becoming the bottleneck in your business and what it really takes to move from management into confident, sustainable leadership.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why conflict and tension are not signs of failure but indicators of growth
The predictable stages of business ownership: provider → manager → leader
How “being helpful” can quietly keep you stuck fixing instead of leading
The hidden cost of avoiding hard conversations in your business
Why leadership is about developing people, not preventing problems
A real-world example of addressing performance issues without micromanaging
How naming standards and impact builds ownership and accountability
Why asking questions is more powerful than giving answers
The role of space, calm, and regulation in effective leadership conversations

You’re not behind. You’re evolving.

Learning how to lead through discomfort calmly, clearly, and without carrying everything yourself is one of the most important shifts a business owner can make. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.

If this episode resonated, let it be an invitation, not to push harder, but to pause. To step back just enough to lead forward.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

77 - Leaders Don't Need More to Do (They Need Altitude)

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 3 Feb 2026 09:00:00 +0000

If you’ve built a strong reputation, hired good people, and still feel like everything runs through you - this episode is for you.

In this continuation of last week’s conversation, Kari dives into what happens after you realize you’ve become the bottleneck in your business. Not because you’re doing something wrong, but because leadership has quietly been squeezed into the margins of your day.

This episode explores why clarity doesn’t come from trying harder, working faster, or stacking better systems on top of an already full plate. It comes from something most business owners avoid: creating space.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why being deeply involved in the day-to-day makes it nearly impossible to lead well
The hidden cost of making leadership decisions “in the margins”
How service-based owners end up holding two full-time jobs: revenue generator and leader
A real story from Kari’s own business, and the moment she realized her leadership was the constraint
Why your team may feel uncertain or disengaged even when everything “looks fine”
The renovation analogy that perfectly explains why growth feels so hard at this stage
Why peers, perspective, and protected space are essential for the next level of leadership
How slowing down can feel uncomfortable and why it’s often the most productive move you can make

Leadership at this stage isn’t about becoming more efficient, more productive, or more resilient. It’s about recognizing that the way you’ve been operating (the pace, the proximity, the constant availability) is no longer serving the business or the people in it.

If you’re feeling worn down, unclear, or quietly frustrated, that’s not a personal failing. It’s information. It’s a signal that leadership needs space, not squeezed into the margins between clients, emails, and late-night notes.

You don’t need all the answers right now. You don’t need a perfect plan. What you need is altitude. Space to think. Space to see patterns. Space to lead with intention instead of reacting in real time.

And most importantly, you don’t have to do that alone. Leadership gets lighter, clearer, and more effective when it’s done in the right rooms, with people who understand the weight you’re carrying.

If this episode resonated, let it be an invitation, not to push harder, but to pause. To step back just enough to lead forward.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

76 - Why Being the Most Competent Person in the Room is Holding you Back

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 20 Jan 2026 09:00:00 +0000

If you’ve built your business by being reliable, responsive, and indispensable but now feel like things won’t move unless you do, it may be time for a leadership shift.

In this powerful solo episode, Kari speaks directly to business owners who are feeling stretched thin, not quite burnt out, but heavy with responsibility. You’ll hear stories, practical insights, and compassionate coaching about what to do when you realize you’ve become the bottleneck in your business.

This episode gives you permission to step back, reassess, and redesign your leadership, without guilt.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why your competence might be quietly holding your business back
The difference between being needed and being effective
How to shift from being the go-to problem solver to building decision-making capacity in your team
A powerful script you can use to start coaching your team to think critically
How the lack of systems, not trust, creates team dependence
Real-life client stories that show how these dynamics play out and how to fix them

If you’re starting to feel like everything in your business runs through you, that no decision gets made without your input, that your team is waiting on you, and that you’re constantly “just checking one more thing” this episode was your permission slip to pause and rethink.

You haven’t done anything wrong. In fact, your business has likely grown because of your care, your consistency, and your competence. But now, your leadership needs to evolve with your business. It’s time to move from being the anchor that holds everything together to becoming the anchor that stabilizes and empowers a team to grow and lead alongside you.

Remember: your goal isn’t to be indispensable. Your goal is to build something that doesn’t fall apart when you exhale.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

75 - Return to Play with Brandi Heather

info@betheanchor.ca (Brandi Heather) — Tue, 6 Jan 2026 09:00:00 +0000

What if the secret to better leadership, team culture, and resilience isn’t more hustle but more play?

This week, we welcome the dynamic and deeply inspiring Brandy Heather, a bestselling author, award-winning educator, and internationally recognized expert on the science of play. Brandy brings the fire, compassion, and neuroscience to back her mission: restoring playful intelligence in a world that’s overworked and underplayed.

From boardrooms to classrooms to burnt-out entrepreneurs, Brandy’s work shows us why play isn’t the opposite of productivity; it’s the fuel for it. In this emotional, laugh-out-loud, and goosebump-inducing conversation, Brandy dismantles the “show home” culture, reveals why fear and play can’t coexist, and offers real strategies to return to joy, belonging, and creative problem-solving, even if you’ve forgotten how.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why “play” is a biological necessity, not a luxury
The neuroscience behind why fear blocks innovation (and how play unlocks it)
What “play” actually looks like in the workplace (hint: it’s not ping pong tables)
The real reason most professionals avoid play and what it costs us
How Brandy cracked corporate walls with cautious delight
The difference between play as service and play as self
What’s really happening in “show home” culture and how it’s disconnecting us
Brandy’s personal story of burnout, hospitalization, and rediscovering play through a tacky ceramic frog
Why play is the path to building more human businesses, safer relationships, and resilient teams

If you’ve been running on empty, feeling disconnected from your work, or just wondering where the joy went, this episode is your reminder: play isn’t the opposite of work, it’s the soul of it.

When you bring joy, curiosity, and playfulness back into your life, you don't just perform better, you lead better, love better, and live better.

Brandi Heather is a best-selling author, educator, and internationally recognized expert on Playful Intelligence™. She helps individuals and organizations prevent burnout and reconnect with creativity, energy, and meaningful connection by bringing play back into the way we work and live.

Connect with Brandy and learn more about her incredible work here:
www.brandiheather.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandiheather/

https://www.instagram.com/brandi__heather/
https://www.facebook.com/b3brandiheather

The Anchored Leadership Academy is launching a new cohort in January; spots are limited.

🔗 Learn more and book your discovery call here.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

74 - A Moment to Reflect on the Year Past

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 23 Dec 2025 09:00:00 +0000

In this heartfelt final episode of 2025, Kari Lotzien, business and leadership coach, invites listeners into a deep year-end reflection filled with honesty, resilience, and grace.

If you're feeling tired, overwhelmed, or unsure how you made it through the year, this episode is for you.

Rather than a highlight reel, Kari gets real about what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. From struggling with unexpected health challenges during a milestone birthday year to rediscovering the power of strong systems, support, and data-driven truth, this episode is an intimate look behind the curtain of entrepreneurship.

Kari shares how slowing down and reassessing her own "stories" about the year helped her uncover hidden wins and how you can too.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why turning the calendar doesn’t magically change who you are, but pausing to reflect just might.
How Kari’s vision of hitting 50 as her fittest self collided with the unexpected reality of perimenopause.
The mindset reframe that helped her shift from “this year was a write-off” to “this year was record-breaking.”
A reminder that challenge and success are not opposites, they often walk hand in hand.
How to find YOUR hidden wins by asking: “What’s the data say?”
Ways that struggle might actually be setting you up for a more sustainable, scalable business.

As 2025 comes to a close, Kari leaves listeners with a heartfelt invitation to pause and reflect, not just on what didn’t go as planned, but on the hidden wins that quietly shaped the year. Her message is clear: growth doesn’t always look like fireworks, and success often walks hand in hand with struggle. Through vulnerability and wisdom, Kari reminds her audience that they don’t have to navigate entrepreneurship alone. With the Anchored Leadership Academy launching a new cohort in January, she’s more committed than ever to helping business owners build systems, support, and resilience for the year ahead.

The next cohort starts in January. Spots are limited.

🔗 Learn more and book your discovery call here.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

73 - What I Saw in 2025, Predictions for 2026

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 9 Dec 2025 09:00:00 +0000

As a seasoned business and leadership coach, Kari Lotzien takes listeners behind the curtain of 2025 to reveal the real patterns shaping small business and where the biggest opportunities (and caution flags) lie in 2026. Drawing from private coaching sessions, the Anchored Leadership Academy, and her trusted membership community, Kari brings together powerful insights from across industries.

If you're a small business owner looking for clarity, connection, and direction as you plan for the year ahead, this is the episode you cannot afford to miss.

Key Topics Discussed:

2025 in Review:

The 3 phases of AI adoption Kari observed in business (curiosity → chaos → cautious strategy)
How AI created both a surge in innovation and a “trust recession”
The slow, strategic buyer: why trust-building took longer and how to adapt

What’s Coming in 2026:

The 4-part strategy Kari believes small businesses must embrace to thrive:

Get Real – authenticity over polish
Get Clean – simplify your offerings and processes
Amplify Human Connection – bring back personal touch in a digital world
Collaborate – leverage aligned partnerships without growing your team

AI + Human Synergy:

Why 2026 isn’t about “AI vs. people,” but how well you balance automation with deep personal service
Real examples of how AI can support both life and business (from meal planning to creative brainstorming)

Small Business Advantage:

How staying small and nimble allows for deeper trust and customization
Practical insights from Kari’s work with real leaders inside her Anchored programs

It's clear that small business success in 2026 won’t be about doing more, it will be about doing what matters, better. By embracing simplicity, leading with authenticity, leveraging AI thoughtfully, and building trusted partnerships, entrepreneurs have the opportunity to thrive in a rapidly shifting landscape. This is your moment to step into leadership, refine your strategy, and reconnect with the human side of business. The future belongs to those who are willing to evolve and do it with heart.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

72 - AI, SEO, and the Future of Being Found What Every Small Business Needs to Know GUEST Meg Clarke, Clapping Dog Media

info@betheanchor.ca (Meg Clarke) — Tue, 25 Nov 2025 09:00:00 +0000

In this eye-opening episode of Be the Anchor, Kari is joined by Meg Clarke, founder of Clapping Dog Media, an SEO and AI visibility agency helping small businesses get found by Google and recommended by AI. If SEO has ever felt overwhelming or if AI feels like it’s changing too fast to keep up, this conversation is your new best friend.

Meg breaks down the shifts from traditional Google search to AI-powered tools like ChatGPT, Gemini, and Perplexity. More importantly, she explains how AI is holding us accountable to show up consistently and authentically across platforms and how that's actually great news for small business owners who are just being themselves.

From personal branding to practical visibility tips, Meg and Kari dive into real strategies that help you get found without needing to game the system.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why AI is not replacing SEO but how it’s changing the game.
How to show up in a way that earns trust from AI (and your audience).
The surprising role LinkedIn, podcasts, and YouTube play in visibility.
Why personal Instagram content may actually confuse AI.
How custom GPTs can simplify and amplify your business operations.
Real-life examples of using AI as a team member not a threat.
Meg’s favorite visibility hacks you can implement today.
What “authenticity” really means when it comes to online presence.

Whether you’re just beginning to explore SEO and AI or you’ve been navigating the digital landscape for a while, this episode is a powerful reminder that visibility doesn't have to mean overwhelm. As Meg so beautifully shared, showing up consistently, clearly, and authentically is not only enough, it's exactly what both your audience and AI are looking for.

Meg Clarke is the founder of Clapping Dog Media, an SEO and AI visibility agency that helps local businesses get found by Google and recommended by AI. Based in Northern Virginia, she leads a team that blends strategy, data, and heart to help clients grow online. A sought-after speaker and former Wheel of Fortune contestant, Meg is known for making SEO approachable, effective, and even a little fun.

Connect with Meg and learn more about her incredible work here:
www.clappingdogmedia.com
www.linkedin.com/in/clappingdogmedia

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

71 - It's OK to be Uncomfortable - Building Resilience

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 09:00:00 +0000

In this powerful and timely episode of Be the Anchor, Kari Lotzien dives into a conversation that many are having behind closed doors but it’s time to bring it into the light.

Are we raising and employing a generation that lacks grit, resilience, and accountability? Or are we missing a deeper opportunity to lead differently?

Kari explores the cultural shift from hyper-independence to overprotection and how both employers and young professionals are caught in the middle. Drawing from her 25 years of experience working with youth and leaders, Kari challenges business owners and leaders to reflect on their own relationship with discomfort and how that directly impacts their teams.

This episode will spark self-reflection, uncomfortable truths, and ultimately, a new way to support growth, resilience, and leadership in both ourselves and others.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why resilience doesn’t grow in comfort
The leadership challenge of holding space for discomfort
How cultural shifts have changed the resilience landscape
The 4-quadrant model of support vs. challenge (from Challenging Coaching)
Why avoiding conflict leads to business stagnation
The dance of high support & high challenge leadership
Questions to ask instead of giving quick solutions
How to build true grit in your team without micromanaging

Growth isn’t supposed to be comfortable but it is worth it.

If this episode sparked something in you, whether it was a nudge of recognition, a moment of truth, or a new perspective then you’re exactly where you need to be.

The Anchored Leadership Academy was built for business owners and leaders just like you, those who are ready to stop reacting and start leading with purpose. In this 12-week, high-impact program, you’ll develop the tools to lead with clarity, confidence, and courage. No fluff - just practical, tested strategies that work in real life and real business.

The next cohort starts in January. Spots are limited.

🔗 Learn more and book your discovery call here.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

70 - When Success Starts to Feel Heavy - with Guest Carolyn Mulholland

info@betheanchor.ca (Carolyn Mulholland) — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this heartfelt and deeply insightful episode of Be the Anchor, Kari Lotzien welcomes Carolyn Mulholland - wife, mother, grandmother, and founder of the Tide Center for Counseling and Health. Together, they unpack the invisible weight entrepreneurs carry and the slow drift from joy and alignment into exhaustion and burnout.

If you’ve ever felt like you're just “pushing through,” this episode is for you. From signs of burnout to understanding the window of tolerance, Kari and Carolyn explore how our nervous systems are impacted by chronic stress, and what we can do to come home to ourselves again, personally and professionally.

Whether you're running a business or just running on empty, this conversation is a call to pause, reflect, and gently reclaim your light.

Key Topics Discussed:

The Hidden Burnout of High Performers
Why success can mask quiet exhaustion—and what to do about it.
When Home Life Flags What Work Ignores
How burnout shows up in relationships before business performance.
Burnout Signs We Miss
From high blood pressure to detachment and cynicism.
Understanding the Window of Tolerance
What it is, why it matters, and how to expand it.
Hyper vs. Hypo-Arousal
The difference between driven energy and dysregulation.
Resentment & People Pleasing
The cost of saying yes to others while saying no to yourself.
Burnout Heals in Community
Why we need more than networking; we need real support.
Tending the Lantern
A powerful metaphor for protecting your inner light during tough seasons.
Glimmers & Daily Rituals
Small joys and transitions that rebuild energy and connection.

This episode is a powerful reminder that burnout doesn’t always look like collapse; it often hides behind busy schedules, polished appearances, and quiet detachment. Through her warmth and wisdom, Carolyn Mulholland invites us to pause, reflect, and tend to the parts of ourselves we often overlook.

If you're feeling stretched thin, disconnected, or just a little lost, this is your invitation to come home to yourself. You are not alone, and healing is possible.

Take a breath. Light the lantern. And let this conversation be the anchor that brings you back.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Connect with Carolyn and learn more about her incredible work here:

Visit www.tidescounselling.ca

403-588-4718
carolyn@tidescounselling.ca

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

69 - The Sh!t That is Really Holding us Back - Guest Jillian Vukovich

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 14 Oct 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this deep, vulnerable, and powerful episode of Be the Anchor, Kari welcomes her long-time friend and financial powerhouse, Jillian, for a raw conversation about success, identity, and what it really means to thrive as a woman in today’s world.

From money mindset and family dynamics to philanthropy, partnership, motherhood, and ambition - this episode is a call for women to stop playing small, to own their power unapologetically, and to be seen for the impact they’re making in the world.

Key Topics Discussed:

Moving beyond traditional roles and expectations.
The fear of being “too much” when you’re ambitious or successful.
How wealth is perceived differently for women.
Letting go of guilt around financial success.
Raising daughters who see success as normal.
Modeling leadership and contribution, not hustle and depletion.
Why visibility matters—and why it’s not the same as arrogance.
The emotional impact of shrinking to stay likable.
Real stories of being misunderstood or judged for ambition.
Resilience as a superpower.
Building supportive partnerships at home and at work.
Creating sustainable businesses with boundaries and systems.
Teaching kids generosity and values.
Using wealth as a tool for legacy, not ego.
Why we need spaces for brave conversations among women.
Celebrating each other’s wins without shrinking ourselves.

This episode is more than a conversation; it’s a rally cry for women who are ready to stop playing small and start showing up boldly in their businesses, families, and communities. As Kari and Jillian remind us, it’s not about ego, it’s about impact. And when women lead unapologetically, everyone benefits.

Whether you're just starting out or sitting at the helm of something incredible, this episode is a reminder that you don't have to choose between being kind and being powerful; you can be both.

So step forward. Take up space. Be the anchor.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

REPLAY: 41 - How to Be a Better Leader

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 30 Sep 2025 09:00:00 +0000

Replay - This is one of our listeners all time favorite episodes. Be sure to sign up for our newsletter for all the latest updates, resources and more.

Leadership goes far beyond managing people, having the most knowledge, or the most experience. Leadership is a completely separate skill from what most of us learn in traditional schooling. In this episode, I am delving into the key principles of leadership and the foundations of the Anchored Leadership Academy. Leadership is about fostering true collaboration and finding the best in people. It starts with the ability to self-reflect and self-regulate. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to enhance their leadership skills, whether in business, community, or personal life.

Key Points:

Understanding Leadership:
- Leadership is more than being the boss—it's about collaboration, understanding, and facilitating growth within a team.
- The traditional idea of leadership as merely directing others is outdated. True leadership involves optimizing the talents and strengths of members to reach a collective goal.
Self-Regulation as a Leadership Skill:
- Effective leaders manage their own emotions and reactions, creating safe spaces for others to contribute without fear of shame or ridicule.
- Self-regulation includes being mindful of body language, tone, and facial expressions to ensure they align with a supportive leadership style.
Listening and Observing:
- Great leaders are often not the loudest in the room. They excel at listening, observing, and understanding the dynamics within a team.
- By noticing gaps and encouraging quieter voices, leaders can create a more balanced and inclusive environment.
Asking Better Questions:
- Effective leaders ask questions that encourage reflection and collaboration rather than simply seeking agreement.
- Avoiding the word "why" in questions can prevent defensiveness and instead promote a more constructive dialogue.
The Role of Leadership in a Technological World:
- In an era of automation and AI, leadership remains a distinctly human skill that cannot be replicated by technology.
- Leadership is essential in maintaining human connection and fostering meaningful collaboration in both business and community settings.

Are you ready to take your leadership skills to the next level? Join the Anchored Leadership Academy and embark on a transformative journey to become the leader you aspire to be. This 12-week program is designed for business owners who are eager to scale their businesses, build strong team cultures, and lead with confidence.
I have opened up a few spots for private business and leadership coaching for owners who would like a higher level of support. Private coaching clients work through strategic planning to identify needs and priorities in their business. Coaching is then customized to align with your plan and may include support for team development, operations, marketing and finances. Together, we design your business to integrate with the life you want.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

68 - Moving from Solopreneur to CEO in your Remote Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 16 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000

You started your business for freedom. Freedom to set your own schedule, work from anywhere, and create something meaningful. But does it really feel like freedom anymore?

In this episode, Kari Lotzien dives deep into the hard truth that many entrepreneurs face: When your business relies completely on you, it’s not scalable. Kari walks you through the mindset shift required to evolve from business owner to true leader and why now is the perfect time to make that shift.

This is a powerful conversation for solopreneurs and online business owners who are starting to feel the limits of doing it all themselves. If you’re resisting growth because it means more work, or you're stuck juggling too many roles, Kari helps you recognize the signs and what to do about it.

Key Topics Discussed:

The freedom paradox - why success can make you feel stuck
How to tell if you’re owning your business or just owning your job
The internal tug-of-war between scaling and protecting your time
Questions to uncover what you really love in your business (not just what you’re good at)
A fresh look at how your business and life goals have evolved
The danger of ignoring opportunities because you're maxed out
Why resistance to growth is often tied to a broken business model
The two key questions:
- What opportunities are calling you?
- What have you been avoiding?
Why leadership is the next step in reclaiming your freedom

If anything in today’s episode sparked a sense of recognition or even a little discomfort, that’s not a bad thing. It means you're ready. Ready to move beyond just running your business and into truly leading it. You’ve already built something amazing, but if you’re feeling stretched, stuck, or like you’re trading time for freedom, then it’s time to take the next step.

You don’t have to do this alone. The next round of the Anchored Leadership Academy starts September 22nd, and it’s built specifically for online and virtual business owners who are ready to scale with strategy, purpose, and support.

Apply to the Anchored Leadership Academy – This fall, Kari is launching a specialized cohort designed exclusively for virtual business owners. If you're ready to grow your team, scale your services, and lead with confidence—this is for you.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Remote Leadership Assessment - Take it here

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

67 - Grow your Online Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 2 Sep 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Kari shares a personal reflection on her own journey from traditional brick-and-mortar work to fully embracing the virtual business model. What started as a simple appreciation for cozy mornings and slippered workdays turns into a deep dive into the massive opportunities opening up for virtual business owners today.

She unpacks why more professionals are moving into online spaces and why many are never going back. Kari explores the trends, the research, and the mindset shifts that are redefining how we work, hire, and lead.

If you’re building a remote-first business or thinking about scaling your virtual team, this episode is filled with insights to guide you, and a few surprising stats that will open your eyes.

Key Topics Discussed:

Kari’s personal shift away from traditional office life and why she’ll never go back
How the pandemic pushed many into remote work, but pulled them into realizing its benefits
The productivity and profitability perks of virtual business
Real-world examples from Kari’s clients across industries: financial, tech, design, and more
Data-backed research: why employees are seeking remote jobs and how smart businesses are listening
Why big corporations are forcing a return to office and what they’re missing
The leadership gap: why virtual businesses need stronger, more intentional leadership
3 practical tools for building and leading a high-performing virtual team
A sneak peek into the Anchored Leadership Academy: Virtual Edition launching this fall

The way we work is changing and it's not slowing down anytime soon. Whether you’ve been running your business virtually for years or you're just starting to explore the shift, now is the time to lean into the opportunity that remote work offers. Profitability, flexibility, and productivity aren't just possible, they're thriving in the online space.

Take the Free Assessment here – Discover your leadership strengths and identify the gaps holding your team back. It takes less than 10 minutes and gives you immediate insight into what’s next.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

How Anchored is Your Remote Team - Take the Quiz

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

66 - Challenges in Leading a Virtual Team

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Kari explores the hidden challenges that come with the very freedoms that attract us to working online. Whether you’ve transitioned a traditional team to remote work or started your business virtually from day one, you’ll learn why flexibility, low overhead, and casual hiring processes can actually create roadblocks to scaling your team and how to overcome them. Kari draws from her own experience leading in-person, hybrid, and fully virtual teams to offer practical tips for building structure, fostering connection, and maintaining strong communication in a remote environment.

You’ll discover the five key areas that can make or break your virtual team’s success—and how to assess where your business might be vulnerable. Plus, Kari shares a free quiz to help you measure your remote team’s strength and pinpoint your focus areas for growth.

Key Topics Discussed:

How freedom and flexibility can create unpredictability for your team.
Balancing low overhead with investing in the right tools for collaboration.
Building culture and connection in a virtual team through intentional onboarding.
Avoiding the pitfalls of under-communication in the name of “not being too corporate.”
Why the dream of passive revenue requires active leadership—especially early on.

Leading a virtual team can be incredibly rewarding, but it takes more than great hires and flexible schedules to make it work long-term. By putting structure behind your freedom, fostering connection, and communicating with intention, you can build a remote team that’s not only productive, but also deeply engaged in your mission. Take the quiz, identify your growth opportunities, and start leading your virtual team with clarity and confidence.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.
Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

65 - From Therapist to CEO with Melanie Harris: Healthcare Mini Series Pt 4

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 5 Aug 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this inspiring and refreshingly candid episode, Kari is joined by longtime colleague and friend, Melanie Harris—CEO and physiotherapist at Functional Therapy, a thriving pediatric practice in Alberta. Melanie shares her journey from reluctant entrepreneur to confident business leader, opening up about the emotional and practical challenges of leaving behind secure employment, scaling a purpose-driven business, and redefining leadership in healthcare.

Together, Kari and Melanie reflect on the real, behind-the-scenes experiences of transitioning from clinician to entrepreneur: the late nights, the self-doubt, and the joy work that keeps them going. If you’re a healthcare provider thinking about starting your own business—or you’ve already taken the leap—this episode is packed with wisdom, laughs, and reminders that you’re not alone.

Key Topics Discussed:

From clinician to CEO: Melanie’s non-linear path into entrepreneurship
Saying yes to everything: How she navigated the early stages of solo practice
Building a team from the bleachers: The magic of hiring from unexpected places
Owning your job vs. building a business: Knowing when to let go and delegate
Scaling smart: Becoming a vendor, hiring subcontractors, and embracing growth
The CEO identity shift: Redefining productivity and learning to trust your team
Creating a second level of leadership: Training coordinators and building in mentorship
The emotional side of leadership: Balancing heart-led decisions with strategic thinking
Investing in community and support: How peer groups and coaching changed her trajectory
Joy work and intuition: Redefining success on your own terms

Melanie’s story is a powerful reminder that building a business—especially in healthcare—requires more than strategy. It takes heart, resilience, and a community of support. From her kitchen-table startup days to leading a thriving, values-driven team, she shows us that leadership is not about doing it all, but about learning to let go and trust the people around you.

If you're navigating your own shift from service provider to CEO, be sure to grab the Free 5-Systems Foundation Checklist—it’s a practical tool to help you streamline your business and free up your time so you can focus on your own version of joy work.

Because the business you build should work for you.

Connect with Melanie and her team:
Website: www.functionaltherapy.ca
Phone: (780) 977-4222
Email: info@functionaltherapy.ca

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

64 - Save your Summer - Managing Holiday Brain and Cancellations

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000

Is your summer slipping away while you’re still glued to your business? If you dreamed of afternoons with your feet up, reading a book, or spending unrushed time with family—but instead feel constantly interrupted by client calls, emails, and shifting schedules—this episode is for you.

Kari shares practical strategies and mindset shifts to help you reclaim the rest of your summer without sacrificing your business. From setting clear boundaries with clients to adjusting your summer hours based on actual client behavior, Kari walks you through simple, actionable steps to give yourself permission to truly step away and enjoy the season.

Whether it’s carving out an afternoon off or restructuring your weekly schedule, these tips will help you reset your nervous system, protect your revenue, and (finally!) feel like the business owner you set out to be.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why stepping away—truly unplugging—is essential for both you and your business
How to shift your mindset from guilt to permission when taking time off
Smart ways to adjust your summer hours without losing clients
The “buffer block” strategy for handling reschedules while maintaining boundaries
How to optimize your schedule for both flexibility and profitability
Communication tips for keeping clients happy while you enjoy your time off

You started your business for freedom, flexibility, and the chance to design a life you love—not to feel chained to it, even in the middle of summer. Give yourself permission to slow down, step away, and enjoy the moments you’ve been dreaming about. Whether it’s an afternoon at the beach, reading a book in the sunshine, or simply taking a deep breath without your phone in hand, these little resets matter. Your business will be better for it, and so will you.

And if you’re ready to make stepping away easier, grab my Free 5-Systems Foundation Checklist. It’s designed to help you create simple, reliable systems so your business can run smoothly—even when you’re taking that well-deserved break.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

63 - Scaling your Practice - Time to Hire: Healthcare Mini Series Pt 3

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 8 Jul 2025 08:00:00 +0000

Welcome to Part 3 of Kari Lotzien’s special mini-series designed for healthcare professionals navigating the world of business. In this episode, Kari—business and leadership coach and former occupational therapist—guides listeners through one of the most crucial decisions in private practice: when and how to scale.

Drawing from over two decades of firsthand experience building and selling a multidisciplinary healthcare practice, Kari opens up about the strategic thinking and mindset shifts required for sustainable growth. Whether you're overwhelmed as a solopreneur or eager to take your next step, this episode delivers practical frameworks and grounded advice.

Key Topics Discussed:

Know Before You Grow: Revisit Episode 1 for essential systems to solidify your business foundation, and Episode 2 for mastering ethical and effective sales in health and wellness.
The “Messy Middle”: Kari shares personal insights about the tension between the excitement of growing a team and the fear of losing control over client experience and brand integrity.
The CEO Shift: Before hiring, step away from the frontlines to reflect on your long-term vision, strengths, and the roles you want to delegate.
3 Ways to Scale:

Vertical Scaling: Hiring another clinician to replicate your service. Do it cautiously—create a waitlist and clear client expectations to prevent internal competition.
Lateral Scaling: Add complementary services (e.g., massage therapy in a chiro clinic). Ideal for creating integrated, client-centered care.
Foundational Scaling: Hiring admin staff. Often overlooked, but a crucial early investment to free your time and increase profitability.

Avoid Desperation Hiring: Make hiring decisions from a place of strategy, not burnout. Build a financial buffer and plan onboarding intentionally.
Leadership Matters: Transitioning into leadership requires new skills—clear communication, expectation setting, and structured onboarding. Passion and purpose should guide your job postings and team-building efforts.

Scaling a business isn't just about growth—it's about building a vision that serves both your clients and your life. Take your time, plan intentionally, and remember that every great leader started where you are right now. You've got this!

Download your Free 5-Systems Foundation Checklist and start strengthening the core of your healthcare practice today. Whether you're just starting or already scaling, these essential systems will help you reclaim your time, protect your energy, and set your business up for long-term success.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

62 - Build a Successful Private Therapy Practice: Healthcare Mini Series Pt 2

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 24 Jun 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Kari Lotzien continues her miniseries for healthcare professionals transitioning into business ownership. Drawing from over two decades of experience as an occupational therapist and successful private practice owner, Kari dives into the crucial topic of sales—a frequently overlooked but essential aspect of healthcare entrepreneurship.

Whether you're just starting out or looking to refine your client onboarding process, this episode is packed with insights you can use today.

Key Topics Discussed:

Mindset Shift Around Sales: Sales is not about being pushy—it's about making your services known to those who need them. In healthcare, sales equals hope and access to help.
Common Sales Mistakes:
- Shying away from selling due to discomfort with money.
- Undercharging and overdelivering, leading to burnout and blurred boundaries.
- Leading with credentials instead of clear, relatable messaging.
Sales Strategy Tips:
- Clearly define your ideal client and communicate benefits over qualifications.
- Develop a predictable service process and communicate expectations from the outset.
- Be transparent in your pricing and set boundaries to avoid resentment and confusion.
Practical Sales Conversations:
- Explore client challenges, offer specific solutions, and clarify treatment timelines and commitments.
- Avoid overwhelming new clients with too much information at once.
- Use client onboarding as a key tool in creating predictable cash flow and stronger referrals.
Follow-Up Systems:
- Implement structured follow-up to ensure potential clients don’t fall through the cracks.
- Don’t make assumptions—ask clients how and when to follow up.

If sales feel uncomfortable or unclear, you're not alone—but you can shift your mindset and create systems that bring more ease, income, and impact.

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—start building a business that works for you—not just because of you.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

61 - Business Planning for Therapists: Healthcare Mini Series Pt 1

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 10 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this powerful kickoff to her special mini-series, Kari Lotzien, business and leadership coach and former occupational therapist, shares how her personal journey from solopreneur to successful healthcare business owner and eventual seller informs her mission to support others on the same path.

This episode focuses on the foundations healthcare providers need to build a sustainable, scalable business. Drawing from both real-world experience and formal training, Kari shares the mindset shifts and five core systems that lay the groundwork for growth—without burnout.

Key Topics Discussed:

Clinician-to-CEO mindset shift: Why many healthcare business owners don't even realize they're running a business—and what needs to change.
Revenue vs. freedom tension: Why the “more clients = more revenue” model keeps you stuck, and how to shift toward building a real business.
Avoiding burnout: Kari shares her early mistakes and how better systems can help you avoid working nights, weekends, and during family time.
The five foundational systems every practice needs:
- Client scheduling – automate and protect your time and boundaries from day one.
- Financial tracking – know your numbers and what “enough” looks like for you.
- Decision-making support – don't grow alone; why finding your community or coach matters.
- Workflows – get systems out of your head and into repeatable processes.
- Client education – set expectations early with policies, boundaries, and clear communication.

Subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps other purpose-driven leaders find this message.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

DOWNLOAD your checklist for this episode:

5-Systems Foundation Checklist

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

60 - Slow & Intentional Leaders

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 27 May 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Kari Lotzien opens up about a growing desire many entrepreneurs feel—but rarely voice: the longing for a slower pace in life and business. As summer approaches, Kari explores the deep benefits of embracing “slow leadership”—a philosophy that allows you to lead with clarity, presence, and purpose, without sacrificing profitability or success.

She dives into her personal journey from hustle to intention, and shares practical signs of “speed creep” that may be costing you more than you realize. From high blood pressure and fractured relationships to poor business decisions and burnout, Kari reveals the hidden cost of operating in overdrive—and the extraordinary rewards of slowing down.

Key Topics Discussed:

Why the urge to hustle harder is a lie
What slow leadership really looks like—and why it works
Personal consequences Kari faced from living in constant overdrive
How presence, curiosity, and better decision-making stem from intentional space
Signs you may be experiencing “speed creep” in your business and life
Why slow doesn’t mean less profitable (and real client stories to prove it)
The neuroscience behind slowing down and heightened awareness
How simplifying your offerings and systems can increase impact and profit
5 powerful coaching questions to reclaim space and sustainability in your work

If this episode resonated with you—or made you think of a friend or fellow business owner who’s running on fumes—please share it. Help us build a community of sustainable, values-driven businesses that thrive in the long term.

Subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps other purpose-driven leaders find this message.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

DOWNLOAD your workbook for this episode:

The Power of Slow Leadership Workbook

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

59 - Quiet Leaders

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 13 May 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this heartfelt and timely episode, Kari reflects on the emotional weight of recent events—including the divisiveness surrounding the Canadian federal election—and extends a warm, empowering message to the often-overlooked "quiet leaders." These are the behind-the-scenes anchors of our families, communities, and businesses. Through personal insight and grounded storytelling, Kari outlines the five powerful traits of quiet leadership, how they’re making a difference, and why now more than ever, we need them to step forward. If you’ve ever felt too quiet to lead or worried your impact isn’t big enough, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn:

What defines a quiet leader and why their presence matters
The 5 key superpowers of quiet leaders:

Deep Listening – noticing tone, breath, and emotion
Thoughtful Decision-Making – taking time to consider long-term impact
Steady Energy – being a calming, predictable presence
Empathetic Relationship Building – connecting without an agenda
Long-Term Vision – prioritizing sustainable impact over immediate gains

Common challenges quiet leaders face (like being underestimated or pressured to "speak louder")
A powerful message of encouragement: Be visible where it matters most.

If this episode speaks to you—or reminds you of someone who needs to hear it—share it. Tag a quiet leader and let them know their voice matters. And if you’re ready to deepen your leadership journey, join us in the Anchored Leadership Academy.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

58 - Spring Clean your Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 29 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode of Be the Anchor, Kari Lotzien invites you into her recently decluttered workspace to explore the power of spring cleaning your business—physically, digitally, and with your time. If you've been feeling buried by the "stuff" of entrepreneurship—sticky notes, digital files, or calendar clutter—this episode delivers tangible steps to create space and welcome in new energy and opportunities.

Topics Covered:

Physical Clutter: How to clear your desk, drawers, and mystery notes using the Pomodoro Technique and Kari’s favorite old-school file folders.
Digital Declutter: Simple steps to clean your inbox, delete old Zoom files, organize Google Drive and Dropbox, and cancel unused software subscriptions.
Time Clean-Up: Identifying leaks in your calendar, letting go of outdated commitments, and prioritizing your most profitable and fulfilling tasks.
Energetic Reset: Kari shares how aligning with seasonal rhythms and her own renewed energy helps fuel creativity and progress in business.

Get the Spring Cleaning Your Business Checklist

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

57 - I Want to Quit my Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 15 Apr 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode of Be the Anchor, Kari Lotzien invites small business owners to pause before making the life-altering decision to walk away from their business. Through five reflective questions, Kari shares personal insights and practical tools to help entrepreneurs navigate burnout, stress, and evolving business challenges. If you're at a crossroads and wondering whether to shut it down or shake it up, this episode is your lifeline.

Topics Covered:

How to reconnect with your “why” and explore what’s changed
Why thoughts of quitting aren’t always a red flag—they might be a call for change
The difference between burnout and being misaligned with your current role
How to examine your financial, emotional, and energy needs honestly
The path from overwhelm to reigniting your passion through leadership

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

56 - Don't Be Afraid to Lead

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 1 Apr 2025 08:00:00 +0000

Transitioning into a leadership position presents many challenges with both mindset and strategy. It is especially challenging for those who tend to “do it all” in their businesses or who are natural people pleasers. In this episode, Kari Lotzien discusses the common fears associated with stepping into leadership roles and offers practical advice for small business owners on how to build sustainable and scalable businesses by stepping into true leadership. Highlights include insights into the Anchored Leadership Academy and personal anecdotes that underline the importance of transitioning from a solopreneur to a leader.

Topics Covered:

Identifying and overcoming fears in leadership
Insights into the Anchored Leadership Academy
Moving toward confidence as a leader
Personal journey from solopreneur to leader
The importance of making decisions and learning from the data
Transitioning from doing to leading
Leave a legacy in your community

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

55 - How to Automate Your Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 18 Mar 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Kari explores the pivotal role of automation in small businesses. Drawing inspiration from a conversation with her grandmother, Kari delves into how technological advancements, particularly automation, can dramatically enhance operational efficiency and scalability in small businesses.

Key Topics Discussed:

Impact of Automation: How automation saves time and allows business owners to focus on core activities.
Mindset Shifts Required for Automation: Overcoming the notion that automation is impersonal, expensive and only for larger businesses.
Practical Automation Tools: Detailed discussion on essential tools like CRMs, email marketing platforms, scheduling software, and project management systems.
Real-Life Examples: Kari shares her personal journey and the transformations she witnessed by integrating automation tools in her business practices.

Episode Highlights:

Grandma Lacey's Story: Inspiration drawn from her longevity and adaptation to technological changes.
Automation Benefits: Focused on how automation has helped Kari reclaim time and enhance her business operations.
Tool Recommendations: Insights into specific tools and software that can streamline various business processes.

Resources Mentioned in the Episode:

Anchored Leadership Academy

Flodesk Email Marketing Software - Code for 50% off your first year.
ePlatform - scheduling, CRM, virtual receptionist - Mention this podcast

Kajabi- online course plaform
Asana - www.asana.com

Calendly - www.calendly.com

*Some of the above links are from affiliation programs. I have personal experience with all of these programs and can attest to the benefits of every single one.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

54 - Brand Strategy with Katie Dooley

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 4 Mar 2025 09:00:00 +0000

In this episode of Be The Anchor, I am welcoming Katie Dooley, founder of Paper Lime Creative, a design and branding agency based in Edmonton, Alberta. Katie shares her journey from designing her first brochure at age 11 to founding her own agency and becoming a sought-after brand strategist. The discussion delves into the pitfalls of DIY design, the importance of branding as a business tool, and why a logo should not be so literal. Katie also offers insights into how businesses can differentiate themselves in a competitive market and avoid common branding mistakes. Katie also shares a valuable gift with the audience for a free 30-minute brand assessment.

Key Points covered in this episode :

Katie's Early Passion for Design
Understanding Modern Branding
The Pitfalls of DIY Design
The Importance of Unique Branding - don’t be confused for your competition
Common Branding Mistakes
Literal vs. Conceptual Branding
Targeting the Right Audience
Luxury Branding Misconceptions
The Role of Branding in Business Success
Branding as a Business Tool
Free Brand Assessment Offer

Resources and Links:

Connect with Katie Dooley:

Instagram
LinkedIn
Website: www.paperlime.ca
Free Brand Assessment - add Be the Anchor to the form to let Katie know you heard her here

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

53 - How Your Business Can Survive a Downturn

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 09:00:00 +0000

In this episode, we are tackling the challenging issue of declining revenue and sales. Drawing from real-life experiences and observing the recent closure of major Canadian retailers, I am sharing actionable strategies for small business owners.

Key points include understanding your financials, engaging with your team and customers, analyzing shifts in buyer behavior, and optimizing existing products rather than jumping to new ones. When times are tough, the importance of community support, timely feedback, and proactive measures are integral to getting through i

00:29 When Revenue is Down

02:04 Lessons from a Favorite Company

03:10 Understanding Your Financials

04:40 Common Reactions to Revenue Decline

06:52 Analyzing Buyer Behavior

17:34 Learning from Successful Companies

21:13 Summary and Final Thoughts

Join the Newsletter Community

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

52 - The Top 5 Hiring Mistakes in Small Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 4 Feb 2025 09:00:00 +0000

In this episode, I am sharing the top five hiring mistakes that small business owners often make and how to avoid them. I am drawing from years of coaching with small business owners as well as my own personal mistakes. The consequences of these mistakes can cost business owners both money and valuable time. We discuss the consequences of delaying hiring, attempting to clone oneself, not defining the needed role clearly, creating vague job positions (slumgullion), neglecting to check references, and compromising on hiring standards. Additionally, I share tips on making the hiring process more effective. If you loved this episode, join me for an upcoming workshop on February 19th for recruiting and hiring, offering both direct guidance and group coaching options.

00:00 Introduction: The Biggest Mistake in Hiring

01:17 The Consequences of Delaying Hiring

04:32 Creating a Sustainable Hiring Plan

05:28 Avoiding the Clone Trap

07:35 Defining Your Needs Clearly

10:00 Upcoming Workshop Announcement

11:02 The Importance of Checking References

16:27 Don't Compromise on Hiring

REGISTER for Hiring and Recruiting Workshop

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

51 - Fantastic Failures - What to do When You don't Meet Your Goals

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 09:00:00 +0000

The routine of setting New Year goals and resolutions often ends in disappointment. Initially, I described 2024 as the year of disappointment. After spending time really digging into why I felt that way, I came up with some real reasons behind the common struggles in achieving goals, the necessity of re-evaluating our goals, and the impact of internal and external factors on our success.

In this episode, I am talking about optimization. Dialling in your goals, effective strategies and actions that align with desired outcomes.

Follow along with this episode to explore your own fantastic failures and reassess your goals Finally, explore how you might find support to build a life filled with adventure, value, and freedom without resorting to mere self-deprecation and burnout.

00:00 Introduction and Shocking Statistics

01:53 Personal Reflections and Disappointments

03:20 Understanding the Common Struggles with Goal Attainment

06:29 Reevaluating Goals and Actions

14:50 Optimizing for Success

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

50 - Roxann Klepper - The Journey to Becoming a Top Performing Realtor

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 7 Jan 2025 08:00:00 +0000

I am thrilled to welcome Roxann Klepper, a top realtor from central Alberta and a member of the prestigious RE/MAX Hall of Fame. Beyond her success in real estate, Roxanne is a passionate advocate for women creating strong, sustainable businesses and a proactive community builder.

About Roxann:

Grew up in Central Alberta.
Not only a distinguished realtor but also a significant figure in supporting women entrepreneurs.
Host of the podcast "Brick by Brick," focusing on female entrepreneurship and community building.

Episode Highlights:

An Unexpected Path to Real Estate and Entrepreneurship:
- Transitioned to real estate full-time after reassessing her career and life goals with her husband. Transitioning from a job she loved to embracing a new opportunity in real estate
- How Roxann moved into leadership and the wisdom of her mentor
Challenges and Adaptations:
- Discusses the difficulties of leaving a stable job and adapting to the entrepreneurial lifestyle.
- Emphasizes the importance of flexibility and the decision to focus on real estate for long-term personal and professional goals.
Mentorship and Growth:
- The crucial role of mentorship in business development and success.
- Strategies for transitioning from a conventional job to owning a business.
Entrepreneurship Insights:
- Insights into the demanding nature of running a business, including the need to excel in various roles.
- Advice on focusing on high-value tasks and delegating lesser tasks to optimize business operations.
Financial Literacy and Women in Business:
- The importance of financial literacy, especially for women.
- Personal anecdotes about the impact of financial education on personal and professional life.
Work-Life Balance and Health Challenges:
- Roxann shares her recent health challenges and the impact on her business.
- Strategies for maintaining business continuity during personal crises.

Roxann’s journey reflects the resilience and adaptability required to succeed in business. Her story is not just about professional success, but about building meaningful connections and fostering a supportive community.

Contact Roxann Klepper

"Brick by Brick," podcast for more insights on entrepreneurship and community building.
Website: roxyk.ca For real estate inquiries or collaborations,
Facebook: RoxyKRealEstate
Instagram: roxklepper

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Thank you for tuning in! Join us next week for another inspiring episode of "Be The Anchor." Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review if you enjoyed today's discussion.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

49 - Let's Pause - End of Year Reflection

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 24 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Kari guides you through a reflective practice for closing out the year. You are encouraged to come back to your core values, express gratitude, assess your wins, acknowledge challenges, and reflect on your experiences. The episode emphasizes the importance of pausing and resting before setting new goals for 2025. Join in with a journal and your favorite beverage to create space for personal and professional growth.

01:45 Reflecting on Core Values

02:42 Embracing Gratitude

04:52 Celebrating Wins

07:57 Learning from Challenges

11:00 Creating Space for Rest and Renewal

13:45 Conclusion and Looking Ahead

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

48 - Stretching Joy and Building Resilience with Dr. Shahana Alibhai

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 10 Dec 2024 08:00:00 +0000

In this inspiring episode, Kari Lotzien sits down with Dr. Shahana Alibhai, author, TEDx speaker, family physician, and mental health advocate. Together, they dive into the challenges of balancing high-performance careers and personal well-being, breaking the stigma surrounding mental health, and the simple yet profound practice of joy stretching. Dr. Shahana shares insights from her groundbreaking work with adolescents and her new book, "Feel Better," which is already making waves. This episode is packed with actionable advice for leaders, parents, and individuals striving for better mental health and connection.

Key Points Discussed:

The Dual Role of a Mental Health Advocate:
- Dr. Shahana opens up about her journey from being a mental health professional to becoming a patient herself, battling pure OCD and postpartum struggles.
Breaking the Stigma:
- Insightful discussion on society's varying levels of tolerance for mental health conditions and the importance of vulnerability in leadership and personal life.
The Invisible Chalkboard:
- A metaphor for understanding the visible and invisible challenges people carry, and how leaders can create safe spaces in the workplace.
Parenting and Emotional Intelligence:
- Dr. Shahana shares practical strategies for parents to teach emotional regulation, including the power of “replaying” moments with children for better outcomes.
Joy Stretching:
- A transformative concept for finding and savoring moments of joy, especially during busy or challenging times.
Mental Health in the Workplace:
- Addressing the leader's role in setting the tone for emotional health while creating opportunities for connection and understanding among team members.

Quotable Moments:

“We do not suffer from a lack of joy, simply a lack of recognizing it.” – Dr. Shahana Alibhai
“Your emotions are not excuses; they are explanations for why you act and react in certain ways.”

Resources and Links:

Dr. Shahana Alibhai's Book: Feel Better (available on Amazon and Audible)
Connect with Dr. Shahana
Instagram - @thedrshahana
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/shahana-alibhai-feelbetter/
Website: website

Episode Challenge:

Take a moment to practice joy stretching this holiday season. Slow down, engage your senses, and savor the small moments of connection and happiness.

Call to Action:

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to "Be The Anchor" on your favorite podcast platform. Share this episode with someone who needs a little more joy and connection in their life.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

47 - Hiring Friends and Family Members

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 08:00:00 +0000

In this insightful episode, Kari Lotzien, a seasoned business and leadership coach, unpacks the complexities of hiring friends and family members in small businesses. Drawing from personal experiences and her work with clients, Kari provides actionable advice on how to make this sensitive arrangement work while maintaining professional boundaries and fostering business growth.

Whether you’re a small business owner in a close-knit community or simply considering bringing a familiar face into your team, this episode will guide you on navigating the challenges and opportunities involved in hiring and retaining great employees.

Key Topics Discussed:

Mindset Triggers in Hiring Friends and Family
- Common scenarios leading to these hires: personal compassion or business emergencies.
- How to step into the CEO role and evaluate decisions objectively.
Keeping the Hiring Process Fair:
- Importance of treating friends and family like any other candidate.
- Why resumes, interviews, and reference checks are non-negotiable.
- Setting equitable standards to ensure a fair workplace.
Defining Roles and Responsibilities:
- How clear job descriptions and boundaries support healthy relationships.
- Tips for balancing personal connections with professional expectations.
Navigating Bias and Accountability:
- Recognizing and mitigating loyalty bias and the halo effect.
- Establishing systems and metrics to ensure fairness across the team.
Planning for Sticky Situations:
- Preparing for potential challenges like performance issues or role transitions.
- The importance of regular assessments and open communication.
Real-Life Examples:
- Kari shares a personal story about hiring her daughter during a peak business period, highlighting a couple of key strategies to making this work well

Key Takeaways for Small Business Owners:

Treat every hire, friend or family, as a professional decision.
Use systems and processes to maintain fairness and protect relationships.
Plan ahead for potential issues, including how to handle exits gracefully.

Special Offer:
Take the Leadership Style Quiz to discover your strengths and receive personalized strategies and podcast recommendations tailored to your current business stage and your style of leadership.

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Enjoyed this episode?

Subscribe and share it with fellow small business owners who might benefit from these insights. Follow Kari on LinkedIn or visit our website for more resources on scaling your business and building a strong team.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

46 - How to Stop Overthinking

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 12 Nov 2024 09:00:00 +0000

We are delving into the topic of chronic overthinking, a habit that keeps so many people stuck in inaction. I am sharing my favorite questions that I use when faced with decisions that may trigger overthinking and help me to get clarity. I will also provide you with ideas to prevent decision paralysis in your business. Whether it's a new business opportunity, a potential move, or a change in life direction, this episode offers practical strategies to guide you through chronic overthinking and into action.

Key Topics:

1. Understand Chronic Overthinking and Its Impact

Reflect on how chronic overthinking may have impacted your life so far
Notice your own tendencies in feeling like you need to have everything figured out before taking the first step
Consider how overthinking may lead to missed opportunities, regrets, and inaction.

2. Four Key Questions to Combat Overthinking

These questions can act as a guide to help you move through decisions and gain clarity for yourself.

3. Build Habits to Prevent Overthinking

Recognize triggers and “sticky spots” that commonly lead to overthinking.
Create routines, systems and habits to take action where it matters most.
Kari shares examples from her business experiences
How we can use systems and processes to manage leadership challenges
Ideas to combat overthinking when it comes to sales and marketing reluctance
Assess decisions based on data and feedback instead of fear-based overanalysis.

4. Celebrate Wins and Maintain Momentum

The importance of pausing to appreciate small wins and milestones.
Reinforce positive action by acknowledging progress, like client growth or team successes.
Use consistent action and data to make small adjustments and pivot with confidence.
Avoid the trap of “catastrophic thinking” and build resilience through gradual improvement.

Resources from this Episode:

Journal Prompts and Guide to Stop Overthinking

Work with Kari:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

45 - Have You Ever Considered Podcasting?

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 29 Oct 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Want to Start a Podcast?

We are celebrating a birthday! This podcast has been on the air for a whole year. In this episode, I am answering your questions about what to expect when starting and leveraging a podcast for your business. I’m giving you my lessons learned along with practical advice if you are considering starting a podcast. I’m answering common questions I get about podcasting, including monetization, time commitment, and how to come up with a year of content ideas.

___

Key Points covered in this episode:

Most podcasts start strong and fail fast: Did you know? Most podcasts don’t go beyond three episodes, and only 11% reach 50 episodes. This podcast is at episode 45, which places it in a select group of consistently published content. There is still so much opportunity in this space but you need to know what to expect and plan for it.
How do you make money podcasting?: Although this podcast is not monetized, I discuss potential revenue streams such as sponsorships and affiliate marketing. However, I want to share the non-monetary benefits I see from this platform.
Solo or Guest Episodes? Design your show style to meet your business goals. I share specific thoughts around guest experts, solo or client episodes. Podcasting allows business owners to build relationships and trust with potential clients by sharing their knowledge and expertise. It is an effective platform for showcasing your personality and approach before formal client interactions.
Where do you come up with content ideas?: I share 3 key ways that I come up with content and how I keep it organized using very simple systems.
1. Client conversations and themes
2. Other podcasts
3. Business or personal development books
How much time does it take to record a podcast each week?: Podcasting is not a quick process—between recording, editing, and marketing, it can take hours to produce a single episode. As with any other part of your business, it is important to create systems and processes for podcasting to ensure you are getting the most benefit.

___

Work with Kari:

Free resources:

Discover your Leadership Style Quiz

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Contact Astronomic Audio:

Website: AstronomicAudio.ca

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

44 - Finding your Blind Spots as a Leader

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 15 Oct 2024 07:00:00 +0000

I am getting vulnerable with you today. There are few experiences in life that act as amplifiers for self-awareness. Intimate relationships, parenthood, and running a business can act as 'amplifiers' that can help reveal our true nature and shed light on our blind spots as a leader. I am sharing a bit of my own personal journey, including mistakes and real-life examples, to illustrate the challenges leaders face when seeking and responding to feedback. I have also created a fun quiz to help you discover your natural leadership style. I am sharing few details about my upcoming six-week course 'Becoming an Anchored Leader.’ It is designed to help you become a more confident delegator, to lead tough conversations with clarity and to help you become even more self aware in a safe and confidential group. This episode is packed with practical advice and heartfelt insights to help you become a more resilient and effective leader.

Key points in this episode:

00:43 Exploring Self-Awareness in Leadership

02:42 Key Life Experiences as Amplifiers

04:27 Self Reflection in Leadership

06:26 Seeking and Receiving Feedback as a Leader

09:36 Understanding Leadership Styles

23:40 Invitation take my Leadership Style Quiz

Resources discussed in this episode:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

43 - Holding Others Accountable

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 1 Oct 2024 07:00:00 +0000

In this week’s episode, I am diving into the challenging topic of accountability within small business. We are discussing practical strategies for leaders to not only hold their teams accountable but also themselves, ensuring clarity and fostering responsibility in the workplace.

Key Points:

Leading by Example:
Let’s talk about the importance of leaders holding themselves accountable before expecting the same from their teams. Accountability begins with fulfilling your own commitments and setting a standard through consistent follow-through.
Clarity in Delegation:
Accountability starts with clear communication. Leaders must ensure that team members fully understand what tasks they are responsible for, the deadlines they need to meet, and the specific expectations of the role. Vague instructions lead to confusion, so clarity is key.
Addressing Missed Accountability:
How do leaders address missed deadlines or targets in a calm and constructive way. Using frameworks like the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model, leaders can provide feedback without creating defensiveness, while maintaining the importance of meeting set goals.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

42 - How Business Coaching Helped Me - with Angie Calliou

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 07:00:00 +0000

In this inspiring episode of Be The Anchor, host Kari Lotzien speaks with Angie Caillou, founder of AVS Legal, about her journey from solopreneur to leading a team of 16. Angie shares her personal experiences in overcoming the challenges of balancing work and a busy family life, and how she leveraged business coaching and the Anchored Leadership Academy to achieve her goals.

Key Points Discussed:

Why not now: Angie shares a beautiful story about how she decided to take the plunge from being an employee to becoming an entrepreneur. She talks about the challenges she faced in the early year as her business grew and her family became even busier.
Deciding to work with a business coach: Angie shares how she made the decision to work with hire a coach.
The Impact of Business Coaching: Angie shares how her involvement with the Anchored Leadership Academy and coaching sessions with Kari gave her the clarity and confidence to grow her business strategically, overcoming roadblocks she faced in scaling her operations.
Building a Strong Business Foundation: Angie talks about the challenges of finding time to work on her business rather than just in it, and how coaching helped her create the structure and systems needed to support long-term growth. She shared how coaching helped her to attract strong candidates to build her team in a highly specialized field.
Gaining Confidence and Delegating: Through coaching, Angie learned to let go of control and trust her team, enabling her to focus on high-level leadership and continue expanding her services.
The Power of Community: Angie reflects on the importance of connecting with other business owners in the Anchored Leadership Academy, describing how the support and shared experiences of the group helped her navigate difficult decisions with confidence.
Balancing Work and Family: Angie discusses how coaching helped her reclaim her time, allowing her to create a better balance between her growing business and family life—ultimately taking her first worry-free vacation since starting her company.

To learn more about resources mentioned in this episode:

Resources discussed in this episode:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Contact Angie Calliou | AVS Legal Services:

Website: AVS-Legal.ca

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

41 - How to Be a Better Leader to Your Team

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 3 Sep 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Key Points:

Understanding Leadership:
- Leadership is more than being the boss—it's about collaboration, understanding, and facilitating growth within a team.
- The traditional idea of leadership as merely directing others is outdated. True leadership involves optimizing the talents and strengths of members to reach a collective goal.
Self-Regulation as a Leadership Skill:
- Effective leaders manage their own emotions and reactions, creating safe spaces for others to contribute without fear of shame or ridicule.
- Self-regulation includes being mindful of body language, tone, and facial expressions to ensure they align with a supportive leadership style.
Listening and Observing:
- Great leaders are often not the loudest in the room. They excel at listening, observing, and understanding the dynamics within a team.
- By noticing gaps and encouraging quieter voices, leaders can create a more balanced and inclusive environment.
Asking Better Questions:
- Effective leaders ask questions that encourage reflection and collaboration rather than simply seeking agreement.
- Avoiding the word "why" in questions can prevent defensiveness and instead promote a more constructive dialogue.
The Role of Leadership in a Technological World:
- In an era of automation and AI, leadership remains a distinctly human skill that cannot be replicated by technology.
- Leadership is essential in maintaining human connection and fostering meaningful collaboration in both business and community settings.

I have opened up a few spots for private business and leadership coaching for owners who would like a higher level of support. Private coaching clients work through strategic planning to identify needs and priorities in their business. Coaching is then customized to align with your plan and may include support for team development, operations, marketing and finances. Together, we design your business to integrate with the life you want.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

40 - Creative Ways to Scale your Service Based Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 20 Aug 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Service-based businesses trade their time for money. You might think that you can’t grow your business without hiring more staff. In this episode of Be The Anchor, I am sharing some of my favorite ways to build service-based businesses without hiring more people. I guide listeners through a process you can use to assess your own small business and what trends are happening in your industry. This opens up opportunities for new ideas to consider to increase your revenue, increase the lifetime value of a client and possibly change the way you work in your small business. We talk through specific scenarios for marketing companies to mechanic shops.

Key Points:

What is happening in your market right now? Recognize how technology such as YouTube, Canva and ChatGPT are changing the landscape for many service-based businesses and how to adapt to these shifts.
Gather Client Feedback: When was the last time you spoke with or surveyed your best customers to ask what you could do even better?
Consider different models in your service delivery - There are 3 options for most service-based businesses and most are only utilizing one model (which happens to also have the highest cost to you).
Leveraging your experience and knowledge to build profits. Consider mentoring as a way to leverage experience and knowledge, turning potential competition into clients, and creating new revenue streams.
Strategic Planning for Scaling: Reflect on how to strategically plan for growth, ensuring that your scaling efforts align with long-term business goals.

The Anchored Leadership Academy, a 12-week group program designed for established businesses ready to scale, will be launching in September. For more information or to secure a spot, listeners can click the links in the show notes or reach out via email for an inquiry call. Don’t miss out on the chance to take your business to the next level!

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Key Links from this Episode

Private Coaching with Kari Lotzien

Anchored Leadership Academy - September enrollment is open now

Book a call to discuss the best options for your situation directly.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

39 - Should I Give Raises

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 6 Aug 2024 07:00:00 +0000

It can be challenging to offer raises when your business budget is tight. In this episode, I discuss practical and cost-effective ways for small business owners to show appreciation for their team members without overspending. Recognizing and valuing your employees through creative perks, flexible work arrangements, and genuine feedback can help maintain morale and motivation. Balancing financial responsibility with sincere appreciation can foster a positive work environment and contribute to long-term business success.

Key Moments:

03:57 Understanding the Impact of Raises - a small raise can cost the business more than you realize.

05:06 When is the best time to give a raise? The one time you should always give a raise.

06:30 Never use a raise to try and motivate an underperforming team member.

09:00 Creative ways to manage cash flow in your business during slow seasons while still giving great perks to your team members. Time as currency.

12:35 Creative Perks and Benefits

Offering perks like contributions to post-secondary education, weekend getaways, or charity donations.
Providing benefits like healthcare creates a sense of security and appreciation.
Offering these perks strategically to manage costs while still showing appreciation.

16:00 Specific and Genuine Feedback - always has value and costs you nothing

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Key Links from this Episode:

Private Coaching with Kari Lotzien
Anchored Leadership Academy - September enrollment is open now
Book a call to discuss the best options for your situation directly.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

38 - Gratitude in Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 23 Jul 2024 07:00:00 +0000

It can be tempting to offer steep discounts or to host large events to show appreciation to your customers but I think we need to be cautious. In this episode, I am discussing practical and cost-effective ways for small business owners to show appreciation for their customers in personal ways that cost very little. Personalized and genuine gestures are so valued. This is where I think small businesses have an edge over large corporations. Showing sincere appreciation while balancing financial responsibility, can help you build meaningful connections without overspending.

Key Moments:

04:30 Listen to your customers to learn what matters to them. Notice small details.
06:20 Implement the Platinum Rule when it comes to customer appreciation.
08:45 Be creative and financially smart when planning how to demonstrate gratitude to your customers. When your journey becomes bigger than you, how many other lives will you impact and enrich?
15:00 Could you build VIP access or offer package deals instead of discounts?
21:45 How can you ensure that your customer appreciation efforts are good for your customers and your business?

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Key Links from this Episode:

Learn more about Private Coaching with Kari
Book a call to discuss the best options for your situation directly.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

37 - Linked in for Business Owners - Guest Expert Tony K Silver

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 9 Jul 2024 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode of "Be the Anchor," host Kari Lotzien is joined by LinkedIn expert Tony K. Silver to discuss how small business owners can optimize their LinkedIn profiles and leverage the platform to generate leads, build relationships, and increase sales. Tony is a multi-award-winning LinkedIn profile expert. He shares practical tips and insights from his extensive experience since 2009, providing listeners with actionable strategies to enhance their LinkedIn presence.

Key Points in this episode:

4 Keys to Optimizing Your Profile
Posting on Linked In - quality content, consistent approach and engagement
Using the platform for lead generation, relationship building and sales.
Practical tips to improve your visibility through SEO and indexing

Contact:

Tony K Silver - Website

Tony K Silver - Linked In

Kari Lotzien - Linked In

Be the Anchor: Business and Leadership Coaching

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

36 - Celebrations and Lifelong Growth - How to Overcome the Hustle Mindset

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 25 Jun 2024 07:00:00 +0000

In today's episode, I share insights from a personal and profound experience—my daughter's university graduation—and explore the parallels between personal milestones and professional growth in small business. In this heartfelt episode, I reflect on the life lessons observed at my daughter’s university graduation, drawing parallels to the entrepreneurial journey. We discuss how societal pressures to quickly move on to 'what's next' can diminish our ability to savour accomplishments—a pattern prevalent both at graduations and in the business world. I share personal anecdotes and stories from others who have made significant career pivots, emphasizing that career decisions are not permanent but chapters in a larger story. The episode champions the value of lifelong learning and curiosity as keys to personal and professional fulfillment and growth.

Key Moments:

Reflection on Graduation: I discuss the societal tendency to rush from celebrating achievements to asking "What's next?" and how this mirrors the pressure small business owners often feel.
Career Permanence vs. Fluidity: Insights into the perceived permanence of career decisions, drawing on stories of significant career changes by individuals, including a woman who transitioned from law to fashion.
Value of Lifelong Learning: Emphasis on staying curious and continuing to learn as a means to keep life and business fresh and engaging.
Encouragement for Entrepreneurs and Mentors: Encouraging listeners to mentor others and foster an environment where decisions aren't seen as life sentences but as steps in a journey.

This episode is a must-listen for small business owners and entrepreneurs interested in personal development, scaling businesses, career transitions, and the importance of celebrating milestones. Engage with stories of resilience and adaptation that resonate with anyone looking to infuse their business journey with deeper meaning and sustainability.

Links

Be the Anchor website

Kari Lotzien - Linked In

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

35 - How to Manage Business During a Personal Crisis

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 07:00:00 +0000

I’m glad you’re here for this episode today. It’s a very important one that dives deeper into my topic from the last episode. My last episode was about not wasting a conflict or crisis and that may have been a cue from the universe that soon I’d need my own advice because right now I’m facing a major health scare in our family. And now that I’m in it, in the thick of it, I have more to say on this topic. I have more to offer to help guide you through times of crisis, in dealing with the personal and the business side of things.

Let’s be honest right up front: managing our lives and running a business during a time of family or personal crisis is a lot. We are pulled in many different directions because we want to be there for our loved one and for our family but we also need to be there for our business. How do we deal with it if we can’t bring in that revenue? It’s really difficult and if, like me, you are used to being a leader and having answers, it can be really hard to realize that crisis doesn’t come with a timeline. And if we don’t think about how to best help ourselves we can end up sacrificing sleep and rest and movement and healthy eating and all the things we need to keep going, to keep being there for the people that need us.

So in this episode I’m speaking from within a crisis, I’m going through what I’m talking about. And I want to share this perspective with you. There are different questions to ask ourselves now. What really needs our focus? What key things can I do to look after our foundation? We’re low on time so what things can we do that really get the most return on our time? And I’m speaking about the personal side of things and the business side. We can’t do everything, so what systems can we put in place to help ourselves? I’m sharing the insight that I’ve gained with you in this episode. The simple things you can do, both in your life and business, to help maximize the time you have and keep you healthy so you can deal with the crisis long-term. This episode is personal and important and I’m so glad I can share the things I’m learning with you all.

Key Moments

03:14 The pull between being there for loved ones and business

05:37 How quickly self-care can be the first necessity sacrificed

08:54 What do we prioritize in business to keep things running?

When we’re low on energy, what things can be automated and what can keep going easily?
How can we delegate or automate to assist everyone affected by the crisis?
Why we need to maintain containers around the vitals of life: sleep, rest, health

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] I'm really excited to bring this episode to you today. I know that being a small business owner comes with wearing a lot of different hats, and one of the things that had been coming up for me over the last couple of months was clients and friends who were talking about having multiple demands on their time when a loved one was facing a health crisis, and they were really feeling like, I need to keep my business operating, and I really want to be there for my family. Now, little did I know that that episode a couple of weeks ago was going to be a snapshot and a little cue into what was coming up in my own life. Today I'm diving in. We're going one step deeper from where we were in the last episode, talking about not wasting a great crisis. Today, I want to talk about when you are in a situation and you're facing a tough time, I want to give you some resources on exactly what we can do to help navigate when we need to be there for friends or family, or maybe for yourself if you're facing a crisis in your own life that instantly takes your time and your energy and your attention. What do you do when you're trying to keep your business afloat at the same time? Welcome to the episode. Let's dive in.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:27] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. In the last episode, the topic was don't waste a great crisis, and I cannot help but think that that topic was giving me a little bit of a signal and a heads-up as to what was coming. Because here I am just a few weeks later, and when I recorded that episode, I was not in the middle of a crisis. But now, looking back, as often our hindsight is 2020, it was a signal for me because here I am now, just a couple of weeks later, and our family is experiencing a pretty major crisis where we have someone in our family who's really going through a major health scare right now, and they need us to be supportive and all-in and believe in them and have hope. And let's be honest, at the same time we are trying to manage our lives and run our businesses and be there for each other and support. And I am not going to lie to you, it's a lot. And when I looked at my episode recording for today, I thought, you know what? I have more to say about this because when I'm in it, when I talked about not wasting a great crisis, now I am in it, I have a little bit of a different perspective. I do have some different ideas, and I want to share them with you from being in it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:53] What I've noticed about myself in this, and I see this with a lot of my friends, I have connected in these last couple of weeks with probably five different friends who have been in situations where their very close family members have faced huge health, life and death situations in these last few weeks. And they feel this pull of I know it's important to me, I want to be there for my family, I want to be able to do it all and at the same time feeling like I can't really just pick up and leave my business because it needs to keep operating as well. Or there's future considerations that I'm going to need to be able to deal with if I don't continue to bring in that revenue, and it can just feel like such a hard pull on both sides of us. And I just want to first acknowledge that, that as a high performer, we're used to fixing things. We're used to solving problems and leaning in and having answers. And there is nothing more humbling than when someone that you really care about has a health crisis, and there's really not a lot you can do about it than just show up. I think what we tend to do as high performers is we jump into these types of situations and, let's be perfectly honest, a lot of our family and the people that are around us, they're used to going to us to be the leaders in those types of situations.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:21] Because if you are a leader in business, you're generally a leader in a lot of different areas of your life. You're the one that takes on the volunteer roles. You're the one who heads committees, you're the one who organizes the family reunions and the large events. When you're leading in one place, you're usually leading in a lot of places. And when we jump into this, what can sometimes happen, crisis doesn't ever come with a timeline. It always shows up at sometimes a really difficult timing for life. And that's okay. But when we get caught off-guard like that, we tend to be more reactive. So just give yourself some grace and understand that that's just what happens. I'm not going to lie to you, I stepped on the scale this morning and in two weeks I have gained a solid 9 pounds. The reality is I started eating way more fast food. I was not moving as much because I was sitting in a hospital room and just trying to be there. We were eating on the fly, we were eating late at night, I wasn't getting good sleep and I was not moving as much. I don't think this is uncommon, but what I notice in myself, I was starting to beat myself up about it, thinking, oh my gosh, everything is just falling apart.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:36] Well, no it isn't. But what I saw was the quickest thing to go was my own self-care. Just the basics of getting enough sleep, of moving my body, even going for a walk or doing a little bit of a stretch. I noticed that I was not eating well, and what this was doing was creating a snowball effect that when all of those basics weren't looked after, I was more tired, I was more reactive, my head wasn't clear, my brain was foggy, I couldn't make good decisions, and that negative mentality was just creeping in. And that might happen for you too, when facing these kinds of things. When we come into positions of crisis, I think the three big things that I want to talk a little bit about are knowing that you might be in this for a long time. I think we all have hope that things are going to turn around quickly, and that we're going to get back to normal. But the reality is, most of the time when there's a crisis situation, you don't know how long it's going to last. And you don't get to know what are the steps that I need to take to have this fully resolve in this certain amount of time? It induces a huge sense of uncertainty and a lack of control, and that's tough.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:54] The second is I think we need to really ask ourselves what are the things that we need to do? What is the minimal viable thing that we need to do to minimize additional challenges? So, for example, if all of a sudden you just stop serving your clients and you stop showing up and you don't reach out to your team and you just disappear, there could be an additional consequence that you are not bringing in revenue to your business, which is keeping it sustainable. Like I said, if I'm not looking after my sleep and my health, the snowball effect of that is that I'm more reactive, that there may be additional challenges in conflict with family members or with the people who are looking after my loved ones, that I just tend to get more reactive. But do you see how then it builds a snowball effect of a negative consequence that we really don't want? So you want to kind of dial in and say, okay, what really needs my attention right now? What really needs my focus? And what are those key things that I can do to make sure that my foundation is looked after? It's coming all the way back to ourselves. And as high performers, man, we can lie to ourselves that we are good at running on no sleep, that we don't really need to have times of rest, and that we don't really need all of these other just basics, because we can perform at a pretty high level when we're running on fumes.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:28] The other piece that I want to kind of shift to is just acknowledging that when we are in crisis, what we know is that you are low on time. That if you are trying to hold multiple roles, visiting family members or going to medical appointments yourself, so sometimes health crisis can show up in our own body and needs our attention. But it takes time. It takes our attention. This is where we really need to prioritize what do we really need to do? Where are we going to get the most return on our time, and what are we going to let go of? You may consciously decide, I'm not going to worry about my housekeeping. I am not going to worry about, you know, developing that new marketing plan for the business that we were working on last week. It's really dialing it in and saying, okay, what do I need to focus on right now that is going to give me the largest return on that time? So things like prioritizing in your business, what is going to continue the cash flow in your company while you might step away. So this is not a time where you're going to maybe try something new, or you're going to work towards a new vision because you won't have capacity to be creative. But you do want to make sure that you continue to have that revenue.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:48] If you've got work that you've already done that hasn't been invoiced yet and you have ten minutes, that ten minutes needs to go and do those invoices, get them sent out, or send the reminders for payments that haven't been made so that you are continuing to build the cash flow in your business so that you don't create that snowball effect of now you're kind of behind the eight ball. The other thing is, when you're focusing like this, this is the time where you want to get really clear on what either time or service or product is yielding the biggest profit in your business and you're going all in on that right now. Because this is the time where you really need to be the most profitable. It's not the time to do a lot of different things or to try out new pieces. Do what you know already works, go back to the data, go back to what you know, and just rinse and repeat. If you have products or services that you've used in the past that were successful, that you can just bring them out and reintroduce them, do that. This is a time where you just really want to dial in where are you getting the most return on your investment? You are going to be lower on energy. This is not the time where you're going to have a lot of energy for new things, new products, or to be able to do a lot of stuff.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:13] When you're low on energy this is when we really want to dial in and say, okay, what are the things that I can just set on automation? What can I just keep going? Can I set up some auto bill payments? Can I set up some meal planning? Can I do meal boxes so that that food just shows up? I don't have to think about what I'm going to have for dinner tonight, or you don't need to think about going to the grocery store and trying to organize that. It just happens. Do what feels easy. Do the things that you're already good at. Now, this might sound really strange to some, well, no, it probably doesn't sound strange to some of you because I think that we are like-minded, which is exactly why I'm doing this podcast. But when I dialed in and I went, okay, what feels easy for me when it comes to supporting this family member? Something that I am good at, I'm really good at thinking in systems. It's just how my brain operates, I think, okay, so what is the system that I can create to have the biggest return on investment so that a team knows what the goals are so that we know what we're aiming for?

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:24] And it might sound strange to do this when it comes to thinking about a family member or someone who's going through a health challenge, but you know that if you're a systems thinker and you do that naturally in your business, and you think constantly about how one thing has an effect on many other areas in your business, if that feels easy to you, and that's something that works really well for you, you can apply it in another area towards looking after a family member. So thinking about systems when it comes to health care and support, or it could be any sort of challenge or crisis that you're facing, come right back to saying, okay, do we have a system for communication? So we designed a system to say, okay, one person is dedicated to call and get an update from the medical team as to what's going on, and it's their responsibility to then share with the rest of the team. And we do that at a very specific time of day, so that we all know kind of what to expect and who's doing what. What this does, is the impact that it has is we don't have ten people calling the medical team and overwhelming them when we really want their focus to be on our loved one. But we also want to make sure that we have a way where everyone knows what's going on so that no one feels like they're left out.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:50] So creating a system where we have a dedicated group chat, or we have a program that says, okay, here's how this is, is outlined, or here's key questions that we would really like to know, or things that we need to be asked or to find out going forward. So that system works well for everyone to communicate, even having a little notebook in the room where people can just jot down ideas, here's who was in visiting, here's what we talked about, here's what was going on. It creates the sense of community and support, which was really important for us, so that no matter who was there, we kind of knew a little bit more of the story. And it wasn't all riding on either the medical professional or our family member to just be going through kind of the same conversation over and over and over again, which, let's be honest, it can start to feel really boring and really monotonous. So this way, we were able to create a system that allowed a conversation to kind of keep flowing and not to feel so redundant. So if that is something that you do well, think about how can you create a system within that crisis situation that can really help fill some gaps. If there's roles or tasks that need to be done, can you create a system so that people know what needs to be done, where they can help, and how all of these things are communicated? These things are big and can make such a big difference, especially when a crisis is going to maybe extend for a longer period of time and you want to make sure that what you've got in place can be sustainable. We really want to avoid things like caregiver burnout, because when you're in this situation as a small business owner and you're holding multiple different roles, you also want to appreciate that other people also have lives outside of this crisis situation. And what we want to do is create long-term sustainability for support within the life that people are holding.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:58] So we want to do this in our business. We want our businesses to be sustainable long-term. We don't want them to be overly dependent on one person or one key team member, because if something happens to that key team member, then our business is at risk. It's the exact same thing on the other side. We want to build shared responsibility. We want to have multiple different roles, and we want to have systems that communicate that to those key team members. So I think this was a way that we could really dive into some of the specifics around how we want to support during a crisis, how we can really have some grace with ourselves. So I'm going to finish with that coming all the way back to when you are wanting to be that sole, not the sole person supporting, but when you want to be your best self when it comes to your running the bit of your business with the energy that you have, with the resources that you have, with the time that you do have available, when you are looking at managing that yourself on both sides of this equation with your business and your personal life, it really comes back again to building that foundation, looking after yourself, recognizing that there is a whole team of people that can support both your business and your personal side. And letting them know through systems and through connections on where different people can hold different roles.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:25] Coming back to your health, the basics. Are you moving your body? Whether that's going for a five minute walk or having a quick stretch, or maybe for you, it is continuing to go to the gym or do a more intense exercise to just help move that energy. Making sure that you're creating a container for sleep and rest. You cannot be available 24/7. And sometimes what happens when we go into crisis, we try to just extend. We burn the candle at both ends, and we start fitting things in to our typical rest times. And I want you to really think about one of the best investments you can make that is going to create sustainable energy for the future no matter what this looks like, is to create consistent containers for rest. Turning off your social media. Taking time to just reset. Take a break. Put your feet up. Close your eyes. Go for a walk, get outside, nap, sleep, whatever that looks like, but creating that container where you can really just let your body rejuvenate. And then making sure that we're taking time to drink water to stay hydrated. It's amazing how easy it is to get headaches and to, you know, just get dehydrated, making sure that we're looking after our food intake and just maintaining the foundation so that we can build from there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:55] So today I wanted to just take some more time, diving into what are some really good tools and resources that you can use as you're navigating times of challenge or crisis in your personal or in your business life that can really carry both sides. So just a review, recognizing that you're low on time. So really giving your attention to where it is absolutely needed and where you need to focus in and what needs you specifically. Focusing on what is giving you the best return on your investment. That is both what can you do in the crisis if it's on your personal side, where are you going to get the best return on your time? As well as in your business. When you're low on energy, you do what feels easy. Do the things that you're good at. This is not the time to push into doing what's hard, because it's just going to feel harder. Do what's easy, do what you're good at, and find people or systems, or delegate or automate the other things to just give you that energy back so things that they can just feel smoother. And then lastly, focus on the foundations. Coming back to what is nurturing your nervous system and your body so that you can create sustainable energy for the long term in your business and your personal life.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:19] Thank you so much for being here. I hope this content was valuable. As always, I appreciate that I can give these little tips and resources to you completely free of charge. And for me to keep doing that, the thing that gives me the most return on investment is when you show me that this content is valuable for you by sharing on social media, or by sharing an episode with a friend. This is what builds our community and creates this long-term connection. Thanks so much for being here. We'll see you next time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:54] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

34 - Never Waste a Great Crisis

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 28 May 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Friends, I’m talking about two things today that are not very popular but that help us grow more than anything else we encounter. Crisis and conflict. They sound like things we want to avoid at all costs, I know, and certainly, an unexpected crisis or hard conflict is not enjoyable. But what I want to talk about is what happens after the crisis or conflict, what we learn, what it shows us, and how we grow from these situations. There is so much positive opportunity in a good, solid, conflict or crisis.

If we continually try to avoid conflict, it will return repeatedly, usually more intensely than before. So it’s a good idea to deal with it when it’s still small. Conflict carries its own lesson because it’s a clash between people or values and we need to resolve it. A crisis is an unexpected event. By its very nature, a crisis can’t be planned for. We can’t see a crisis coming. But when it arrives, we absolutely feel its impact and have to know how to get through it. And it’s how we deal with and get through both of these things that lets us learn so much of value.

Are you prepared for a crisis in your business? Something that potentially takes you out of action could end your business if you aren’t prepared for such an event. And even if you’re not prepared, how you communicate with your stakeholders, staff, and customers matters a lot to how successfully you navigate the crisis. I’m going to lay out examples for you and walk you through what to look for, and what to prepare. Conflict tends to make us want to put our head in the sand but a good conflict, grounded in respect, can bring to light things that aren’t working that we can fix for the better. I’ll talk about what to look for in conflict and how not to react in the moment. Conflict and crisis, things we tend to avoid, can actually be a great benefit to our businesses.

Key Moments

03:08 Crisis illustrated by Steve Jobs in 2003

05:23 How improperly managed crisis erodes trust

11:26 Defining a good conflict

We can learn a lot from Tim Cook’s story at Apple
Starbucks illustrates how to manage a conflict between customers and your business
What are the steps we can take to prepare for crisis and conflict?

Resources discussed in this episode:

“The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable” by Patrick Lencioni

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:02] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk to you about two of what I believe to be the greatest teachers in life. A great crisis and a good, hard conflict. Now, those might not sound like things that you want to sign up for in terms of growth and development in your life. But what I want to make sure of is that you don't miss an opportunity to really grow and learn when those things come up in life. And every biography that I've read, every business book of someone who has gone on to achieve incredible things with their lives, in every single story and every single example, they have used both conflict and crisis to move towards growth. Every time. And I want to tell you more than ever that there's a different way to do this, that we can learn through flow and abundance and affirmations, and that it can be easy. And although I definitely think there is a time and a place where we want to introduce ease and we want to bring that in, I don't want you to miss the opportunity that can come from a good, solid conflict or crisis.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:54] It's like when we're squeezed by stress or tension, that it expedites our ability to learn and to really create change quickly if we take the opportunity. Now, if you don't take the opportunity, I feel like these are the things that will come back to us, and we keep learning that lesson over and over again. You've heard the phrase that, you know, when life whispers to you and kind of says, hey, you know what I think something's up here, and you don't pay attention to it, the next time that lesson comes, that conflict, that crisis comes a little bit louder and really taps you on the back. And maybe the next thing it wallops you right over the head and says, okay, I'm not playing anymore, here's how you're going to learn or not. This becomes the fork in the road. I want you to listen when it's a little bit lighter and it's a little bit easier. Now, I didn't do that. There's been so many times where I had to be walloped over the head before I actually got the lesson that was built, and I don't want that for you. So today I want to talk about the two things, I want to talk about the opportunity that conflict brings and the opportunity that crisis can bring.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:03] Now let's start with crisis. In 2003 you may be aware of the story that this is when Steve Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Now Apple was growing, it was in its prime at this time. And this crisis, which a crisis is something that you cannot predict, it all of a sudden shows up, usually at the worst time, and knocks you right off your feet. Being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer was not something that just knocked Steve Jobs off his feet. It knocked potentially Apple off of its feet. But in that process, there was some really key things that Apple did to make sure that this was not also the crisis for the business and the demise. What they did is they had set up Tim Cook to take over, and it was clearly put into place that he would start moving into more of a leadership role in establishing the company so that we were moving forward. I think this is one of the lessons that we want to learn is before. Before any crisis presents itself, do you have someone that you can tap out to? I think this is the lesson that we want to see in business. If you needed to be away for 4 to 6 weeks, or longer, how would your business operate without you? Or, at best, with you at very minimal capacity. Because the reality is, that thing that we can learn from Steve Jobs in this situation, he was not available. There was no option for him to continue to run a company the size of Apple and manage his own health. It couldn't happen at the same time. But he had someone in place that he could tap out that could take over, that was already respected, already knew what was going on. So when you look at your company, are there places where - I'm not saying that your company won't be affected at all - but if you had to step away, are there places that you could change, automate, slow down? Do you have recurring revenue or passive income in your business that could still come in if you were not actually there, physically or mentally able to do the work?

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:23] The next thing that we saw in this is in many situations when crisis comes up, especially with someone in a high leadership position or the key person who has relationships with your stakeholders or your clients, we tend to want to hide the crisis and pretend that there's nothing going on so that people don't lose trust in the company. Now, here's the lesson I want to point out: if you hide, if you try to not acknowledge what's going on and then share the plan of how you're going to approach the situation, this is when people lose trust. This is when your employees, your customers lose trust because things, they will sense that something's up. They sense that things aren't quite right. And this is when they start to feel uncertain or unsure of where things are going. That's how a lack of trust develops. The lack of trust doesn't come from that leader having to step away. And time and time again, I've seen it where we want to be able to be transparent within reason. So you're not going to necessarily dump out all of the details of what's going on with a crisis in your life, but you do want to be able to share with your stakeholders, with your team, with your customers, that you are stepping away or that key team member is stepping away. And what you're sharing is, here's the plan that we have stepping forward so that this doesn't interrupt the flow of the business, that you're still reassuring and providing that stability and security. So I think the keys are when you are facing crisis - and here's the thing you can't plan for it, you have to plan ahead of it. So ask yourself when something comes up or if something comes up, what do I have in place so that my company can keep operating? And I want you to not only just think about you as the leader if you have a leadership position in your own company, but I also want you to think about your key team members. If any one of them suddenly was ill, or had to take time away, or was not available to do the job that they're doing, what is your process in being able to step in and move forward now?

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:39] Let's just say that you didn't have a plan, that all of a sudden crisis happened. All of a sudden you had to step away from your business. You suddenly lost a key employee, and you didn't have a plan. You were completely caught on your heels and feel like you just got hit by a semi truck, and you're not sure what to do. I think this is how most of us face crisis, we don't like to think about it, nobody likes to plan for the worst case scenario so many of us don't do it. But when you're in a situation where maybe you've been hit by that semi truck of life and it's knocked you off of your feet, what can happen is we get through the crisis. So you think, oh my goodness, like my business did lose revenue or all of a sudden our customers were really disappointed and that was really, really difficult and thank goodness we're through it. We come out the other side and we start rebuilding. I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to waste the lessons in that crisis. When you come back, I want you to review backwards, and I really want you to look at what could I have done differently that would have prevented the additional, right, that snowball effect of the crisis in how it took over my business or my life, how can I prevent that from happening again? So that if something catastrophic happens again, I'm not put in the exact same position again? And I think many times I see naturally, I think we do this, that when we've overcome a challenge, our shoulders drop and we go, oh, thank goodness things are back to normal. And we miss the opportunity to create the change. The crisis can be the perfect time that identifies we've got some really big gaps in the company, or we are way too dependent on this one person. I think of this if you're a parent and I kind of giggle but when kids are little and you know mom has to go away for a little while, or, you know, if dad is the primary caregiver in being that front line, does the drop offs and the pickups and makes the lunches and makes sure that they know what shirt the kid is supposed to wear to school that day, when that person is away and someone else has to take over that role... Now, I know that most of you who hold that role, we get ahead of it and we make sure that there's a calendar that says, this is what has to happen, and we've got freezer meals, and we try to prepare ahead because we know how much pressure that holds. We know the stress that it's going to put on the system on the other side for someone else to pick that up.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:21] You are doing a disservice when that happens. Because when that crisis hits or when you're away for an extended period of time, you want to make sure that someone else recognizes all the pieces that you're doing and holding and can take over. You never want to have so much responsibility riding on one person, because it's not good for us. In our own nervous systems, we carry too much, we feel like we're carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. But it also prevents others, like Tim Cook in this example, from being able to step into a leadership role and showcase how he can do that really well. Don't want you to miss the opportunity. So when you look back, just think, what could I have done differently? Did this crisis identify some areas of need in the business or in my personal life, where things are just a little bit too dependent and we could diversify a little bit more so there's not this really intense responsibility on one person or one system?

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:23] Okay. The next. I want to talk about a good conflict. In one of my favorite books when it comes to leadership is Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni. I love this book and one of the five dysfunctions that he talks about that is jeopardizing for a team is when a team avoids conflict. Yes. A great team should have conflict. They should have safe conflict. And I think that when we look at conflict on a team, sometimes as a leader we can feel like the team is fighting, we're not getting along, we're having disagreements, we're not sure the direction we want to go. And in that, we might find ourselves wanting to just help everyone get along and just settle everybody down so that we're all playing nice in the sandbox again. I want you to hear this loud and clear. When we do that, when we don't invite conflict, safe conflict, respectful conflict, into our teams, into our families, into our friendships, into every area of your life, if you don't have the opportunity to introduce conflict or disagreement, you are missing opportunities. Now, sometimes conflict comes to us and we don't expect it. So it might come in a place where you've got a disgruntled team member who feels like they're being treated unfairly, who feels like they're underpaid, and now they're starting to talk to everyone else on your team, and it's spreading. And all of a sudden, you might feel that pressure that you need to solve the problem or get rid of the person who is the instigator or who is the most vocal, and remove that so you can go back to just being status quo and everybody gets along again. But here's the piece that we miss, is that when we don't invite conflict, when we don't invite disagreement, we miss opportunities. Because if everyone agrees and we all see things the exact same way, and we agree that's the way that we should be doing something, we miss the gaps.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:32] We don't have someone saying, well, hey, wait, what about this? Could we think about it in another way? I want to give you an example of this. So when you come back, you might be aware of this, if you're a fan of Starbucks like I am, I love myself a good coffee. Now, I'm not particularly attached to Starbucks, I like a good coffee offered anywhere. It has to be good and strong, has to have a nice, you know, dark roast is my absolute favorite. Now I digress, but in 2007, Starbucks was going through a period where they had substantial growth. So the revenue was there but all of a sudden what they were seeing is their customer satisfaction numbers were dropping rapidly. We also started to see that there was more competition on the market, where small local coffee shops were opening up that also had exceptional coffee. And the whole support local and small business was being introduced into that industry, which presented a threat to Starbucks. Now when that came up and when the conflict - so customers being disappointed were coming to Starbucks - Howard Schultz could have said, nope, this is the way it is. This is what we offer and you're going to like it and if you don't like it, too bad for you. And we carry on. He could have let those complaints and the customer satisfaction take him down and think, I have a terrible business. This is not working. I am a failure. He could have blamed others and said, you know what the problem is - and I'm saying this intentionally - I just can't find good people. People just don't care about their work the same way they used to. I don't know if Starbucks is going to continue because this generation, these baristas just don't take their job seriously. He could have blamed others. He could have blamed his customers that they're just too demanding. He could have taken it all on himself and thought, no, I just can't continue on, obviously we are doing a terrible job and we are failing. But he didn't.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:42] He didn't do any of those things. What he did was number one, didn't take it personally. He listened. And I think the first step is most people don't want to bring disagreements to you. They don't want to point out where they're feeling upset or frustrated or confused or challenged, because we're afraid that the leader will react negatively, that they'll blame us, that they'll blame themselves, or that they'll react in anger or hostility. The first thing you want to do as a leader is be able to truly listen. I think being able to truly listen is partly due to you can anchor your own nervous system. in the moment you know how to take a breath, you know how to pause your reaction, you know how to not fly off the handle and to truly invite. To stay curious, to ask more questions, to ensure you understand the problem and that you, I always say, come back to the data. Learn as much as you can so that you clearly understand the problem. And the first place that we can really do that is by anchoring our nervous system and inviting a space where people can share with us without it being personal. First step in conflict.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:14] The next place is that they can safely share and feel that they are not at risk. Like I said, sometimes people will be the one that says, I feel like I'm underpaid, I feel like you work us too hard. I feel like this is unfair and you think that that person is the problem, and by removing that person, the problem goes away. That person may just represent the voice of the team, and you need to be able to dig past just that single person and understand clearly, is this the opinion, is this a pattern in my team? Is this a pattern with our customers that it's not just that individual that's the problem, but that individual may just be the one who had the courage to speak up and had the courage to share. In which case, we really want that person to feel valued, to feel safe in sharing with us, and to know that even when they bring up concerns, they still belong, that they are still respected, they are still a part of the team, that we're not just going to say, well, if you don't agree, then you're out. So we want to make sure that you have a safe space where people can share.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:45] Now, I'm not saying that that means people can come in and scream and yell and share in a disrespectful way. What we want to do is create a container. So as a leader, you're giving ways where people are asked for their feedback on a regular basis. What you're doing, those surveys, or you're giving safe places where people can be asked what's working, what's not working, do you see any gaps, share an idea and then tell me. Where do you see my, where are my blind spots? What am I not seeing? Shoot holes in my problem. When you create natural conflict on your team, you will always have a more broad perspective on what your challenges truly are, and when it's through conflict and inviting that disagreement that you will be able to get out of your own way and shine lights in those blind spots that then allow you to move towards change. So you want a format to be able to share. So then the next place in that is that you want to then, once they've shared, we come back to okay so based on what I've heard in this conflict, how does this fit with the core values of my company? So last week, or in the last episode, I talked about core values not being enough. This is where I see the gap most often in business. Is we have core values, we put them on the wall, we talk about safety and transparency. We talk about the business feeling like a family.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:43] Well, I can tell you that in a family there is conflict. There are so many times where we disagree, but we still belong. So I want to know when we take that core value and we shift it to, okay, so how does our core value demonstrate itself when we are in a situation of conflict? If you take someone off your team every time they disagree with you, or you reward every person that naturally agrees with you and you move them into a leadership or senior level position, that tells you that that concept of everyone here is treated like family doesn't land. That if your core value has to do with transparency and someone disagrees with you, but they don't feel safe that they can speak up, that's not true transparency. So I want to know. I want you to ask yourself if your business values are things like transparency, loyalty, trust, relationship, family, how are those demonstrated when you come up to conflict? Because then when you can put those things in action, when you demonstrate that, this is how you create change.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:16] I'm going to bring it back to the Starbucks story. What happened during this time, during 2007 when all of a sudden customers were not satisfied, they were seeing a decline in revenue because there was more competition from smaller spaces, they shifted. This is when Starbucks introduced more non-coffee options, decaffeinated options, some kind of child-friendly options. All of a sudden, in this process where they started seeking feedback from the baristas, they went back. They didn't blame the baristas to say, well, it's because they don't care and they don't take their job seriously. They went back and said, okay, we need to make sure that our training programs are really solid so that we are delivering the same level of product to our customers across every location. And I think one of the things that is really unique about Starbucks is that they have consistency along with being able to customize their product. And this is such a unique combination because if you're a Starbucks barista, all of a sudden you want to know how to make that specific latte or that specific drink, but now you can adjust it for temperature and how much foam you want and what size and do you want to add a triple shot of vanilla? In all of those processes it is a consistent product along with the ability to customize. This is a really unique training challenge when you're looking at your systems and processes in onboarding new staff. So as they were developing these new products and as they were improving their onboarding and their training programs for their baristas, all of that came through conflict. All of that came by really looking at what are our customers complaining about? What are our baristas complaining about? How is this whole process working?

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:00] If Howard Schultz would have started firing baristas who were underperforming, would have taken it upon himself to say, well, this is, you know, it's because we have difficult customers. If he would have taken it on personally to say, well, it's because we don't have a great product and obviously this wasn't a good idea, the opportunity for Starbucks to be what it is today would have been lost. And I don't want that for you. So I know, I completely understand: being in conflict, it's hard on our nervous systems. It makes us feel like we are threatened. It can sometimes feel very personal. It can feel, especially if your small business is your baby, and it's the thing that you just give your heart and soul and your extra time and your weekends and your evenings to, it does feel personal. I completely get that. But I hope that today, as we've talked through this, you can really see that in every single crisis, in every single conflict, there is also opportunity to move towards change and growth like nothing else I have ever seen. So if you're going through a time right now where you're thinking, oh my goodness, I just feel like I am being drug along and things are hard and maybe you can't see your way out of it right now, just know it's part of it. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It doesn't mean that your ideas are terrible. It doesn't mean that people are terrible, that your customers are no good, or that your staff just doesn't care. There's an opportunity behind this. And even if you can't see it right now, even if today the only thing you can do is just put one foot in front of the other to get through the next thing that you need to face, please know that I understand that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:10] Please know that I am completely there for you. I have sat in my own business when crisis hit, in tears, trying to train a new staff member so that I could leave the business because there were certain things that only I knew how to do in there. And when that crisis hit my own business really unexpectedly, I honest to goodness, I thought it was going to be the demise of my business, I really did. I thought I had dreams that that was going to be it, that I was going to have to close shop and just walk away because I didn't have the capacity to do all of the things in my business that I was doing before. And it was number 1 in 22 years of running a business, that major crisis in my life that hit completely unexpectedly, is still the thing that I look back on and go, that was my greatest teacher. That's when I learned the most about delegation. That's when I learned the most about trust. It's when I learned the most about systems and being really consistent. And I learned how to lead with transparency without introducing or spreading fear in the business. I was able to be clear and still introduce that feeling of stability and security. I know. I've lived it. I know how it's done. Now, I gave you fancy examples from Steve Jobs and Howard Schultz in their businesses because they're so in the limelight. But I know every business owner and many, many of my clients will talk about the same sort of thing, there's an opportunity here that I don't want you to miss. So I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. Feel free, send me an email or send me a DM on social media. I want to hear what lessons have you learned through crisis or through conflict, that maybe if you wouldn't have leaned into it, you would have missed completely and it would have changed. Because looking backwards, we have that 20/20 eyesight to be able to say, oh, I see how this all worked in sequence with each other, because when you're in it, it's just no fun. So if you're in it right now, that's all I want to say, is that one step at a time. Be really aware of how you're perceiving it. Be aware of your own thoughts. Many of them are not true. They're lying to you right now to try to protect you. But once you come through this, be sure that you look back so that you don't miss the lessons from the great crisis or the great conflict as you move to the next step and really implement that change that can give your business, your whole life even stronger and even better than it was before.

Kari Lotzien: [00:29:51] Thank you so much for being here. If you have not liked and subscribed yet, well why not? I would love for you to just click those three little buttons. It makes a difference. And this is how this podcast gets shared, this is how more people learn about what's going on. And my passion right now is I really want to provide free content for small business owners who might not have big budgets to work with a high level coach. Now, my budgets are not high level, so if you want to work with me, I'd love to dig into your business. But I want to make sure that there is still a ton of free resources out there for people like you and I, who've been in the depths of it just working through this day to day. Be sure to like and subscribe. I'd ultra appreciate if you would share it with someone who just might be going through a hard time right now and can't see the other side. Thanks so much! We'll see you next time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:30:47] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

33 - Core Values Are Not Enough

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 14 May 2024 07:00:00 +0000

I’m glad you’re here for an episode that may be a little bit short but is full of necessity. I want to talk about core values. A lot of businesses talk about core values, small and large businesses alike. And that’s good! Every business should have done an activity that helps define and develop its core values as a company. What I’ve been seeing lately, though, is that while it’s wonderful to hear a business declare “We stand for loyalty, transparency, and trust”, what happens if what occurs in levels of the business contradicts those values? That’s what I want to examine.

It may sound harsh, or like doom and gloom when I say that stating core values that are not followed through on in actions as a business truly can be the demise of the business. Why would I say that? Core values represent things you promise to be and do as a company. If you fail to live up to those stated values, you lose integrity. You present as out of alignment and customers lose trust in everything you say and offer. That kind of loss can be catastrophic to a business.

I want to give you examples of situations I’ve encountered with real business owners that demonstrate this. How does this contradiction show up? What does it look like when core values aren’t acted on in a business? Where does it usually creep in? How can that be prevented? I want you and your business to succeed so I’m going to address all those questions. I’m glad you’re joining me to dig deeper into what core values mean beyond stating them as part of a business plan. It’s so important to ask yourself how you will keep those values alive in your daily activities.

Key Moments

02:02 Why misalignment with core values can be the end of a business

03:03 Business example of core values initially in action

05:01 Follow-up example of how later actions were at odds with the stated core values

Why a noted misalignment of core values to actions matters
Ask what your business’s core values are and whether you are demonstrating them
Look into your team and ask yourself if they’re leading or being led according to your core values

Resources discussed in this episode:

Anchored Leadership Academy

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today's episode is going to be a little bit short, but I feel like it has so much necessity. So I don't think that it is uncommon right now to hear businesses talk about their core values. And I think that a lot of small businesses, a lot of large businesses, can say here's what we stand for: we believe in trust, we believe in transparency, we believe in loyalty, we believe in professionalism. And that is all fine and good. And I really hope that if you haven't kind of done an activity around developing the core values of your business, that you will do that. When we think about the core values of a company, it's the same as we are personally. Our core values are there to guide our behavior, and it's the same in business. Core values aren't just something that you talk about during your team meetings, or that you put in your training manuals, or that you talk about and it's one and done. Your core values in your business should be the guide to every single thing that you do, the services that you provide, how you have your customer experience journey, how you onboard new team members, how you develop team culture. Your core values guide everything. I had a situation here in this last week that I wanted to share because I think that it highlighted this idea that we can have core values, but if we don't carry them through all aspects of our business, that it really starts to feel like we are out of our own integrity as a business. And I fully believe - this might sound like super catastrophic, but listen, that's just where I'm at today - I believe this can be the absolute demise of a company. Okay. I want to share with you about a conversation that I had with a small business owner recently. The first time that I met this small business owner, the first thing that drew me and that I noticed about this company was what an inclusive environment is. There was so much diversity in this really small business. There were people who were English as a second language. There were people who had diagnosed anxiety challenges. There were people that had all different ways of communicating and needs in this very small company. But I could tell that the owner had created this true sense of family and connection and support, and had been guiding his company so well through adapting some of the ways that they onboarded, how they did their schedule, how they set up their workstations. There were so many things that were going beautifully in the company, and it really stood out to me.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:36] Now let's fast forward a bit. So I have a conversation here just a couple of weeks ago, and the same business owner came to me and said, I've got a new employee who is really underperforming. They are just not meeting the criteria for what we need in the business. So my response to this was, okay, tell me kind of where this person came from. How did you find them? How did they come to be? What are they doing really well? And this owner wanted me to work directly with that employee, which is always a hesitation for me because I like to work more with the owner, because I believe that they're the best ones who can create change in the business and really create that different culture, because then they're leading it. So as we were exploring this and I dug into it and I said, you know, I'm willing to kind of explore with this employee to figure out kind of like, what's going on, where are we missing, how might we adjust the training, or how might we adjust how we're communicating so that this person can be more successful, I said, but I really need to be working also with their manager. And who's the person who's responsible for mentorship? Who's the person that is the one who's guiding them, who's giving them tasks to do, who's doing their most of their training on a day to day basis? And this person paused and they said, well, we do - so defined who this person was - and said, ah, you know, but I'm a little bit hesitant because this person is difficult.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:15] And what they then uncovered is that this person was really good at their job. They were really good at the tasks that they were assigned to do. They were in an admin position. So in terms of invoicing, communication, managing a really busy office, they were doing really well with the tasks. They had the ability to manage a lot of different competing demands on their attention and their time. But he said, really, when it comes to new staff, this person can be - his words, not mine - a little bit of a B. And he said there's times where she's just not very patient, where she's kind of like, you know, he's like, honestly, like there's times where I feel like she's really judgmental. I paused and I said, I apologize, but I'm kind of surprised. And I said, well, because back when we first met what I saw is that you had this beautiful, inclusive business. And when we talked about the core values of your business, it was family and trust and relationship. Like he just really created this sense of community and belonging for these people who may not have felt like they fit elsewhere. And I said, now you've given a management position and a mentorship position to someone who does not seem to hold those same core values of non-judgment and inclusion and family, and that sense of belonging. This just surprises me.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:56] And as we talked through this, he said, well, honestly, I never looked at it that way because she's really good at her job. The tasks that she does on her front line, the things that she is responsible for outside of the management position, she's really good at. Now, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm really concerned about the future of this company if she stays, especially holding the same behaviors that she does right now that demonstrate judgment and not accepting people who have different learning abilities or people who might be challenged with the language. Because if that is how your behavior, how your mentorship, how your training program is being executed, the behavior of the business, if that's not in alignment with these core values of belonging and accepting and inclusivity that you are sharing and saying out loud to people, you have this real lack of integrity in your business.

[00:08:09] Jillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Jillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years. And I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus, all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:09] Now here's the thing. I think with small business owners, this can happen fairly easily because initially you are the hub of the wheel. And I do think that the owners behaviors were still in alignment with the core values of the company. But I think what had happened is that in that when this person was in a frontline role, when they were in an employee role without a management title, they were very successful in that position, and because they were successful in the position, they then got moved into management, which I see often. Promoted, not because they had exceptional mentorship abilities, because they were a really good manager of people, because they had really good communication skills. They were promoted because they were showing really good results in their role, in their current role as admin. But when we move them into a management position, now all of a sudden they are executing the core values of the business in a different role. And this was not lining up. I think we then need to go back and revisit. As the owner, have a conversation with that manager. These are the core values of the business, this is what we believe, and this is how our training protocol aligns with that core value. This is how our customer service aligns with our core values. When someone comes in and they can't really describe what's going on because maybe they are English as a second language, maybe they just don't have the knowledge or the experience, what I want to know, when we talk about inclusivity, belonging, family, that that customer is also met with patience, that we maybe try a few different ways to have a conversation with them so that we can gather the information that we need to provide the service to this person, but that we don't have that customer service experience where that person feels like they're a frustration, or that we don't have patience for them, or that they don't belong here.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:31] So when we look at core values, I think this is where some businesses are falling short. And I want you to ask yourself, when you go back to your core values in your business, even if you are a solopreneur, when you look at every element of your business, how are you demonstrating those core values in your systems, in your processes, in the actions in the business? And if you can't easily tell me how your core values are demonstrated, or if I was to say to you, okay, poke holes. Are there any places in your company where your core value is not completely in alignment with how you're behaving? If you can't do that easily, I want you to just dive into it and really address are those two things lining up? A) if you are the one controlling all of those systems and processes, and you're the one actually executing the customer service, it's somewhat easier. But then if you have a team, and especially if you have someone else on your team who is executing at a management or a mentorship or doing training in your company, I am really pushing on the fact that they must be able to describe how your core values are demonstrated in their training, in how they're training the front line in terms of customer service or providing, you know, a product and experience for whoever is paying you to provide that service. How is that being executed on every single level? When you dive into this, you can create huge change in your business. But I think this is where core values just aren't enough.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:16] So a little bit of food for thought today. This might feel a little bit, I don't know, intense or pushy. I'm really not trying to be pushy. I want your business to succeed, and I think we spend a lot of time thinking about our core values and what we stand for and what we want to stand for, but that is not a one and done exercise. Your core values need to show up in your business, in your processes, every single day, every single time that you face a challenge, or you're coming up against a question where you're not sure what the right thing is to do, you go back to your core values and you say, okay, if this is our core value, what would be the next right action that we would take? It should guide your decision-making. So core values are not a one and done where you write it on a piece of paper and then you don't look at it for another, I don't know, five years. It should be part of every single decision you make. And if it's not aligning or if you need to shift your core values to maybe more accurately describe your current model, that's okay. But make sure those two things are connected, because if they're not, this can be the demise of your business. Because when you get this or when you have someone, especially in management or mentorship training position, where their core values are in opposition to yours, this is toxic and it can spread like a cancer through your business. And you don't want that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:44] Okay, I love you. I want to share the hard things with you, and I want to be having these hard conversations. I want to point out where you might be having some blind spots in your business. So today that's all this little episode was, is to just invite you to have a look at that and to do some serious little work on really digging in. Okay. Thanks so much for being here. We'll see you next week. If you haven't clicked on the link to subscribe to the newsletter, that is the absolute best way to know what's going on, when new episodes are released, what the topics are, and all of the fun little things that I'm doing, connections that I'm making, I love to share. So the best place to connect with me is definitely through my newsletter. So click on the link in the notes and sign up for that. Thanks so much. We'll see you next time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:31] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

32 - Live the Life you Crave PT 2

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 30 Apr 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Last episode, I introduced part one of this series on living the life that you crave. I gave you background on what that means and really did deep dive into my tagline, “live the life you crave”. If you haven’t listened to Episode 31, take a quick moment now to listen and come back when you’re finished. Now, in part two, I’m going to talk about actually living that life. There are six steps I’ll share about how to create the life that you crave and then go about living it.

I sometimes think about what will be said about my life when I’m gone. What impact did I have? Did I give back? Was my life one that was well lived? I believe our lives are about impact and purpose, fulfilling the reason we’re here. It’s not all about business, but about what differences we can make through our lives and businesses. So in taking action to live the life you crave, my steps are very focused on actually living and not just reaching financial goals. These steps apply even if you’re struggling, if you’re not in a successful place or if you haven’t yet found your dream or goal but are just realizing you want something new: that is your dream. Change is your dream. Moving past struggle is the life you crave at the moment.

The six steps ask you to look back at where you’ve already been to recognize the obstacles you’ve already overcome. They demand that you acknowledge your dreams and goals that are about more than just fiscal milestones. They teach you to understand that when you reach a mushroom cloud of expansion, your business will become something bigger than yourself. What is the journey that you’re on? How far have you already come? What are you learning and appreciating along the way? These are key questions to focus on as you work at living the life that you crave.

Key Moments

05:21 Step one is to look back. Look at how far you’ve already come.

11:07 Step three is asking how your dreams and goals appear. Where are you heading?

18:42 When your journey becomes bigger than you, how many other lives will you impact and enrich?

Process over progress means living the action of getting to your destination; enjoying the journey
How do you live in the moments that lead you to your goal instead of just staring down the goal?
Let yourself have an experience that pinpoints what you really crave

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Hello my friends. Welcome back. This is part two in the series Live the Life You Crave. Now, if you didn't listen to the last episode, episode 31, I give you the background and we really dive deep into this phrase 'live the life you crave', which is the tagline of my business. I invite you to just reflect on that. So if you haven't listened to that episode, go back, have a quick listen, and then come back to this one, because now we're going to dig into how do you go about living the life that you crave? I'm going to talk about six steps, key ways that you can move towards truly creating the life that you crave and then living it. When I talk about living the life that you crave, I want to just review that I am talking about craving as the combined feeling of some destination, goal, project that feels like it has an energy of its own, that you are being pulled towards it, and that in the pursuit of that thing, you are becoming a better version of yourself. And likely you are also creating a ripple effect on those around you that are making your industry, your family, your community better in some way.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:59] The craving is also linked to need. I believe that when we crave something, it is closely tied to not only a desire, but there is a need for what we want to feel, appreciated, valued, we need to feel a sense of belonging. We need to feel a sense of value, that we are truly giving back. I think that when you live a life that you crave, what happens is you have this sense that your life was well lived. I think it is bigger than us, and I think that many of us can think back to a time where we've gone to a celebration of life or something like that, and you see the true celebration that, man, that was a life well lived. That person had an impact. And it doesn't have to be a global worldwide impact where they changed, you know, the face of their industry. They can have such an incredible impact on very few people, you know, people who dedicate their lives to helping the homeless or to being an incredible teacher or giving their life to others through service, whether that is in healthcare, education, psychology, whatever it is.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:13] I feel like there are times, and it's not tied to an industry either, I want to point that out, that's really clear. I think that there are humans in this world who have just had an incredible impact on others, and sometimes they're not even seen or celebrated or you don't fully recognize it until sometimes their life ends, and then you see the impact that they were able to have. Now, maybe that sounds morbid. And here we are, three minutes into the episode of Living the Life That You Crave and I'm talking about death. But, I don't know, maybe I'm crazy and I'm curious to know what you guys think about this too, I do think about what people are going to say about me at my funeral. Is that weird? If it's weird, maybe let me know and I won't talk about it anymore. But I do think about that. I think about what would people say about me? What is the impact that I've had? How did I treat people? That matters to me even though I won't be there, maybe, depending on what you believe, I kind of think I'll be able to still hear what they're saying about me. But I think when we live the life that we crave, it becomes like we're fulfilling our purpose of why we were here. And that doesn't have to be big and extravagant. It can be very small, but we feel like we're making a difference. I think our life is not just about business, but it's about all aspects of how we are using the life that we have been given in business, in community, in relationships, in our own health. And I think in terms of living it, what I'm talking about is the action piece. Are you living? Are you taking action on that life that you crave right now, how does it feel? So as we unpack these next six steps together, this is the how. How are you going to move towards that? I think in the six steps this helps, I believe, my clients, this is what helps myself in looking back and saying, okay, how do I stay on this track? When I get on track, what pulls me back on that road that I want to be on when maybe I faltered? Or maybe things are really hard? These are the six steps that I believe have real power.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:21] Number one, look back. Now, when I thought about these six steps, I want to share with you a little bit of a story that a few years back I was going through an exceptionally hard time and I felt like I had no direction. I didn't know what the right choice was in many areas of my life. I felt like things were just messy and hard, and I just could not get clear. And the messaging that I kept hearing is I couldn't even hear my own voice. It was so noisy, I could hear all the shoulds, right? All the voices of people saying, you should do this, you should do that, you could do this, you could do that. But I couldn't hear my own. So I decided, kind of decided, kind of felt pulled to take time and just leave it all behind. So I went away and I did kind of like a mini, I don't know, vision quest, let's just call it that. It sounds fancy and exciting, but I went away and I was by myself, completely by myself, for eight days, completely alone. And then I spent significant amounts of time in the vehicle traveling completely by myself. Now other people were around. I was not in the middle of a forest with wildlife. I'm not that kind of a girl. I was at an Airbnb by myself. I ate dinner by myself in a restaurant. So, I mean, it was a pretty bougie vision quest, but I digress. While I was doing this, I did a lot of hiking and this is where these steps came to me. So the first step in looking back is I would go on hikes and you know when things get really tough on a hike and you're thinking, oh my gosh, how am I not at the top yet? How have I not reached the summit yet? This is brutal. How far am I? The power and the energy that I would find when I simply turned around and looked at where I came from. How many times are you pursuing something in your life and it's hard and you're not there yet. You're looking for the destination, you're trying to get to it, and it still seems so far away. I invite you to look back at where you started and give yourself credit for how far you've come already. Right now, at this moment in time, look how far you've come. Because what I know is that just appreciating that, seeing the obstacles you've already overcome, seeing the amount of progress you've already made, gives you energy to keep going. When you turn around again, and you look for that summit, that destination, and moving forward, I think it gives you this renewed energy. And what is really cool about that is it's based on data. This is not affirmations. This is not believing in yourself. This is not trying to do unconscious programming. When you turn around and you just acknowledge all of the progress you've already made, this is data that said, this is all the things I did before, I can likely keep making progress on this journey. So that's number one. Look back.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:31] Number two, think about what obstacles have you already overcome? Now I want you to, like, dig into this. Let those voices be heard. So remember when I said to you that when I was taking this like little mini bougie vision quest, it was because I couldn't hear my own voice anymore? When I did this little activity, and I thought about the obstacles that I overcame, a lot of those obstacles were the shoulds. It was people telling me that this was a crazy idea, that it was never going to happen. It was times where I didn't believe in myself, where I questioned my own knowledge. Like, do I even have the ability to do this? Do I have the experience? Do I have the backing, financially or otherwise? How many people are telling me that they don't support me, that they think I should be doing something else? Financially, right, some of us did not grow up with backing or the ability to really pursue the highest levels of education or to have that, you know, start-up funding for our brand new business, because that's just not where we came from. When you think about your life in pursuit of whatever life you're moving towards, what obstacles have you overcome on the way to get there? And let yourself go into it, because I think, again, there are times where we're like, oh, well, I don't like to think about the hard things. I don't like to think about the things that have been maybe not as pretty, or I don't want to feel like I'm blaming others for holding me back in my pursuit. I just want to stay focused on my vision and my goals and my dreams. But I think in acknowledging the obstacles that you've already overcome, what you're doing is you're actually acknowledging your own resilience. You're saying, this thing that I crave, that seems to be like pulling me towards it, is bigger than the doubts, the financial situation, where I came from, how I grew up, the education that I had. It's bigger than that, and I have found a way to overcome these obstacles on my path. Again, what this is, is it's data that is showing your resilience. I think again, this fuels that fire in the pursuit of moving towards that thing you crave.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:07] Number three. Ask yourself, how do your dreams and goals appear? In this one I think that goals and dreams have been given a bad rap, because I feel like there's this sense that, oh, suddenly, like, we're going to have a dream or we'll suddenly have a vision or someone will say something to us and suddenly we know that, oh, this is the life that I am supposed to be leading. Here's my dream, here's my goal, here's my vision. And now I just need to figure out how to get to it. When I see it like that, I feel like it comes with glitters and it's like got rainbows around it and it's all like, beautiful. I don't think all dreams show up like that. And when I look at my own life, when I look at the life for a lot of my clients who have really done incredible things, their dreams didn't come in glitter and rainbows and like this vision of, oh, look how beautiful it will be. Many, many, many, many times those goals and dreams came in the form of I can't do this anymore. I cannot continue on this path. I can't take this one more day. So their dream or their vision might have shown up in they are drowning in bills that they can't pay, that maybe their house is at risk of being foreclosed on. Maybe the insurance and the utility companies are threatening to shut off their power. Maybe they can't afford to put groceries on the table and they are using places like the food bank. There are times where people get so frustrated with the current situation that they are in abusive relationships, lack of someone else seeing their value. So maybe they're in a job that they just know they're so unappreciated and it's really not going anywhere. And that little voice in their head says, I can't do this one more day. There has to be a better way. Just know that is a dream and a vision. That is a dream and a goal.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:21] It doesn't have to come packaged with a shiny bow on it. It can come in terms of frustration and anger and resentment, like, just know that it's still that sense of craving. There's something more for me and I feel pulled to do something about it. I have to live differently. I have to take action on this. So just let's acknowledge that. I think this is a big one, I really do because too many people feel like that frustration is what holds them back or what sinks them. And what I know from countless people that I have worked with, I think we're drawn to that, right? The stories of people who overcome incredible turmoil in their lives, trauma and abuse, and they come from nothing. Many people living on the streets who go on to do amazing things. I really think that when you have hard times, it's like the elastic band that pulls you back and it's like you feel like you're starting below zero with no money, no education, no anything. But I now know how many stories I've heard, this is the proof, the data that I see over and over again, people who have that kind of pull back, when they start moving towards the direction of whatever it is that they're craving, it's like a slingshot. When that elastic starts moving forward, they go so much further. Because there's a drive to that and a passion that I don't know that we get on the other end when things are easier. Now I wish, I wish I was wrong in this because I wish that in my own life I could say, well, when things get easier that I'll create that flywheel and then things will just get better and better and better. And I think that eventually it hits that. But I think we all have to come through these pieces of obstacles and resilience and turmoil and frustration that almost creates that slingshot effect to move us forward in creating the life that we crave. So if you're in the pits of despair right now and you just cannot see your way out of it and you are drowning in bills, do not think that this episode is not for you, because it's maybe more for you than it is for anyone. I'm talking to you. You are right where you need to be and you can use that as fuel.

[00:15:55] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years. And I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:57] Okay. Number four, once you have acknowledged the data that has said, look at what has gotten me where I am right now, and you've got the data to show it. Where I think that we then, it turns into this mushroom cloud, and I think what truly gives so many of my clients, the people that I just adore hearing their stories, is every single time that vision, that life that they crave, every single time when I see it mushroom cloud and turn into something beyond what they could even imagine, the secret sauce is that it becomes bigger than them. The next thing I want you to do is ask whose life will change as I begin to live the life I crave. It might be your showcasing for your kids that they don't have to grow up the way that you did. Maybe you are changing the industry for someone else. Maybe you are giving hope to the clients or the customers that you work with. Maybe you are changing the face of how you're able to give back to your community, or support a charity that you believe in. Or maybe this frees up your time so that you can show that you can have an incredibly successful business and travel the world and have an incredible, really nourishing life. And maybe then when you go to different countries, you support other entrepreneurs in their small businesses who are just trying to make a go of it themselves. I always, I think the fuel that really causes these dreams to ignite is when it becomes bigger than ourselves and every single person, every single business that I have seen that's gone on to do really incredible things, it is always bigger than the success of the owner and is definitely bigger than financial gain. The more people that you can impact, the more change that you can make. The more that you can see beyond your own personal benefit, the more this will completely take off. It's like adding fuel to your fire. So I want you to acknowledge whose life changes as you begin to live the life you crave. Make it bigger than yourself.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:21] Number five, measure process over progress. Okay, now what does this mean? So if you have a goal, I think it is really easy for us to say, okay, when I hit these milestones, so if I'm trying to earn seven figures in my business, you might break it down and say, okay, I need to earn 100,000 by this point in the year, and I need to earn this much by this point in the year. And then we mark our success or our journey through meeting those objectives and goals. Here's why I'm not a fan of that. I think it is one point that we want to measure or be aware of, but it can't be the driving force. When you talk about living the life that you crave, living it, the action of it is based in the process. Right? So we hear things like, you know, the magic is in the journey. Well, it absolutely is. Because if you're not enjoying the journey and the process along the way in how you're achieving the life that you crave, you will never get there. And the risk in this is we hear multi-billionaires who get to that point in their life and say, okay, I've been just upping my financial goal over and over and over again. And I keep meeting them. I keep hitting those targets and doesn't feel any different.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:48] I'm still alone. I'm still sad. I'm still not having any fun in my life. It's a really sad moment when you hear someone who has this list of accolades of things they've done in their life, and inside they feel very unsatisfied and they still feel alone. This is where when I talked in part one of really looking at all of the different parts of your life and what creates the life that you crave, a very small sliver has to do with actually financial goals or how much body mass do you have? Right? Like when I talk about living the life you crave and if you're measuring your progress towards the life you crave, that I'm going to lose 20 pounds by this point next year, and then you measure every pound that you lose. And now you're 20 pounds lighter, but you're still not having any fun. And your life didn't change. When I talk about the life you crave, you don't crave losing 20 pounds. You crave maybe the ability to go and hike with your family. Maybe you crave the ability to go and run around with your grandkids and play soccer, and not feel like your knees are going to break. When you are living it, when you are measuring process, process says, okay, I'm going to do this and on the journey, on the journey to losing 20 pounds, I'm going to have a ten minute dance party in the kitchen three times a week. I'm going to take my kids to the park a couple times a week, and I'm going to play with them.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:26] I'm not going to sit on the side and watch. I'm going to maybe join that pickleball program that's running in my community, and I'm going to do that a couple of times a week. Do you see how now it's really easy for me to say, okay, well, did I have a dance party three times a week? Process. Did I join that pickleball organization? Process. Did I play with my grandkids, did I join them playing soccer? Whatever that is, that's process. That says I'm enjoying the journey that is likely getting me closer to my health goal. They have to connect. So measure the process. Measure did you actually do the thing that you think will get you closer to your goal? In business this might look like, did you make those sales calls or are you just frustrated that you haven't met that financial objective yet? You can't measure making the financial objective, because there may be so many other factors in how you achieve that goal. The same with health, really. There are so many other factors that are outside of your control that by measuring your progress only towards the acquisition or how far away you are from that specific destination, you are going to feel so frustrated because very quickly, you'll realize that so many things are out of your control and you'll lose that process piece of it. But if you measure the process, you will naturally see you're getting closer and closer to your goal. So you focus on the process. You focus on what are the things, the activities that I'm going to do that I think will lead me there? And you track that, you focus on that in the data.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:11] And last, this is a really big one. I'm going to come back to my story. So when I took my little bougie vision quest and I did a lot of hiking, I had an experience where I spent all day hiking and by myself completely. I actually didn't see one other person. Luckily, I also didn't see one other animal, so, I digress. That whole day I was completely by myself. And when I finally got to the destination, when I got to the summit and it was breathtaking, it absolutely took my breath away. What I could see is this cliff that overlooked the ocean. And in that moment it was like the world just went silent. I couldn't hear any more of those you should do this, you should do that. But I felt this sense of clarity that I don't know that I've ever felt before. It brought me to my knees. I got incredibly emotional. And I ended up having an experience. Now, if you believe in something bigger than yourself, you could say that was a higher power, that was God, whatever that was. If that feels right to you, you follow that. If it doesn't, I'm going to ask you, create the experiences that allow you to hear your own voice. And if that means you need to go spend some time by yourself for a while, if you need to go walk in nature, for me, that works beautifully. I feel like things are quieter, things are slower when I'm in nature and it allows me to just sort my own thoughts. That's the path. That's the process that I take to hear it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:11] For you, it might be something completely different. It might be going for a run, it might be reading great poetry, it might be listening to beautiful music. Whatever it is, doesn't matter, but I want you to see can you find your own voice? And when you find it, whether you write it, whether you record a video for yourself, I want you to give yourself a message of reassurance, of being on the right track, of self compassion to give yourself a boost. Some of the things that I've done over the years, so I did, when I reached that summit and I was overlooking the ocean, the message that came to me is that on that journey, on the journey that day, there's so many times I didn't know where I was going. It was one of those really weird paths that sometimes it felt like the path just disappeared and I didn't know where I was anymore. And I would take just a few more steps. And it was like the path appeared and there were some times where it was kind of funny, but I would actually turn completely 360 degrees and I would just keep pivoting and then all of a sudden it was like, then I could see the trail, but when I was following it, it was, all of a sudden it disappeared. And the messages that I got from myself were these last five steps. That when you're in doubt and you're tired, look back and see how far you came. Acknowledge all of the obstacles that you overcame. There was moments that day that were really hard, and I just kept moving over those obstacles, just like I have in my life. And they will look different for every single one of us. I recognized that sometimes dreams and goals for me that day, the message I got was sometimes dreams and goals look like letting go. Sometimes dreams and goals look like giving up and walking away and knowing when it's time to move on. And in that day, and in that moment when I could hear my own voice, it told me, stop always measuring in terms of the destination. Because there will be days where you don't get there. But if you didn't enjoy the journey along the way and you didn't pause and notice the beauty that was in the process to getting exactly where you are right now, this loses its power, and you will not see the same beauty, and you will not have that same sense of accomplishment when you reach the end goal if you didn't stop and pause and acknowledge the process that got you here.

Kari Lotzien: [00:30:01] So this series in Living the Life That You Crave, is my personal sharing in when I was able to take that time to just hear my own voice, these were the steps that came back to me. And when I sat today thinking about what I was going to record for my podcast episode, I felt the need that I want to share this with you. Because when it became bigger than me, when I recognized that part of my journey and my process in what I want in my life is how can I share these little tidbits and messages with others who are also trying to create and live the life that they crave? And as I share this, it becomes bigger than me. And my hope is that when I plant these seeds, these thoughts with you, and then you make your dream, your vision, bigger than you that this creates a ripple effect where we truly can change the way that we are showing up in the world. I know that sounds huge and it sounds overwhelming, but I truly believe that when more of us live this way and we live this way with intention, we have more power than we will ever recognize.

Kari Lotzien: [00:31:25] Now as I wrap up today, I want to come back to no matter where you are, no matter what your journey looks like right now, at this moment in time, living the life you crave is available to you. It is available through action and support and love. And knowing that part of that craving is not just linked to an egoic desire to attain more in your life. It is part of your human evolution that will allow you to be even better than you are right now, and it is a need. Just like that infant that craves touch, it is integral to their development. It is not, it is not a desire, it's not just a want, it is absolutely part of who they will become. This is the message I want to leave you with today. I love you all so much. I'd love to hear your thoughts on part one and part two of this series in Living the Life You Crave. I'd love to hear your feedback on this episode. Any thoughts that you have, feel free to drop me an email, follow the link in the show notes. Always be sure to sign up for my newsletter, because if you want to have more conversation, if you want to get into a webinar or a workshop with me, that is absolutely the best way to find out what I'm up to. Thanks so much. We'll see you next time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:33:00] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

31 - Live The Life You Crave PT 1

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 16 Apr 2024 06:00:00 +0000

This episode is special for me because I am talking about my tagline. Perhaps you didn’t know until right now that I have a tagline! We’ll unpack it together. My tagline is ‘Live the life you crave’. This phrase is very important to me, it holds a lot of value, and I found it through intention and focus. The important place to start in understanding it is to define what ‘crave’ actually means. I’ll do that and examine exactly what it means to live what we crave in this episode.

Craving, according to the dictionary, is not just something that we want but something that we need. The definition likens it to how infants crave touch. Infants don’t just want touch, they need it in order to develop and grow. The thing we crave isn’t just an idle want, it’s something we need, something that pulls us in, something we deeply require. When you examine the cravings in your life, what are they? What do you want and need in order to thrive? What pulls you?

I’m going to talk about how living the life you crave encompasses more than just work, more than just your business. If you are succeeding at work but struggling with personal relationships, then the full life that you crave is not being satisfied. What do you need to create for your life to be filled on all levels? What do you crave about living that will make you fulfilled in the moment and not just living for a future when things hopefully align? I want you to think about these questions as you move through this episode with me.

Key Moments

02:11 Defining the word ‘crave’

05:28 Does the thing that you crave feel bigger than you? Drive you towards impacting change?

11:43 Your life is made up of more than work and all the components deserve to be strong

Are you struggling with personal things outside of work? Finding balance is part of what you crave
When you live the life you crave, does it align with your values in ways that satisfy you right now?
It’s vital to think about every aspect of what you crave for your life

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today is a special episode. I want to unpack my tagline with you. Live the life you crave. Now, some of you may not have realized until right now that that even was my tagline. But this phrase holds incredible value for me, and it's something that I came to with a lot of intention and focus. And as we unpack it together, I hope that it has as much power and brings you a chance to reflect and really dig in to the vision for your own life, like this phrase does for me. Let's start with, in this phrase live the life you crave, I want to start with the word crave. Because when I think about that word, I think about wanting something so much that it feels like you are pulled towards it. It's not a dream or a destination way off in the future that you feel like you have to hustle and grind and push towards, but that it feels hard.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:44] When I think of things that we crave, it's like that thing, that vision, the future, the project, the business, the family, the relationship. It has its own energy. And when I think about things that we crave, I feel like there is a pull towards them that it's almost hard to resist moving towards that thing in our future. When we talk about the word crave and being defined as something that we intensely desire, I think it falls short a little bit. And when I read the example, or the sentence that was given in the dictionary, it said 'an example of craving is teaching parents to provide the touch that infants crave'. And as I thought about this, I thought, okay, there's something here that's really important because I think craving is more than something we desire, something we want. It's something that we need. There is a partnership between how we move towards this thing that we crave. But it's paired with something that we also require. Infants don't just desire touch. Infants require it. They require touch for the development of their nervous systems. They require touch so that they learn how to respond and develop that human connection with others. This is how they develop that sense of trust and relationship. They learn to accept touch, and they learn to give touch in a healthy and caring and kind way. When we crave touch, it's not just about, oh, it would be really, really nice to have. It is part of the development of who we are.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:38] And I think that when you picture what are you craving in your life, whether it's a relationship, whether it's a business, whether it's a big idea, whether it's something that you feel pulled to do, I think what we want to understand is that this is a key part of who we will become as human beings, as we pursue or move towards that vision. So many times when I meet with clients, and myself included, when I had an idea for starting my first company, I didn't think of it in terms of, oh, I want to make this much money and this is what I want. It was a craving that I wanted to provide something different. I wanted to be of service, and I could suddenly see that I had something that I could bring to my clients that I felt would really make their life better and to the point, and I know it sounds kind of hokey, but my first business vision, my mission statement, was I wanted to change the world for kids. And although that sounded very grandiose and very, very big, that was truly the work that I felt like I was doing, that when I was working closely with parents and I was working with teachers, and I was helping them to change their perspective in how they viewed children who had challenges, I truly felt this was so much bigger than myself, and it became a craving that I felt pulled, this was something that I needed to do.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:14] And in the pursuit of that, not saying that there were not times where things were difficult because there absolutely was, but it felt bigger than me. It felt like a pulling, not only a pursuit, if that makes sense. And I hear this over and over and over again with my clients. It feels bigger than themselves. It feels like there is an energy to be pulled towards doing something bigger, because it generally not only impacts their own life and creates that vision that they see for themselves, but often it has a ripple effect on changing communities or really creating change in industries or cultures. Like it becomes really big. So when you think about the thing that you crave, I want you to recognize that you're pulled towards something bigger than yourself. Now you might already be saying, okay, but I don't understand because I think we crave things that are not good for us as well. So where does that fit, Kari? Okay, well, here's the thing. I don't think that we actually crave the thing that is bad for us. So if you think about, okay, someone who is craving drugs or alcohol or they're craving food, that's not good for them and it doesn't really make sense. And it feels like this it's a bad craving. I think it is not that deep, that it's not actually the cigarettes, or the drink, or the drugs, or the bad food that we're craving, I think what we're craving is the feeling that it gives us underneath. It's the craving for what that will lead to.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:47] I think the true craving is underneath that surface level. So if you peel one layer back for someone who is maybe craving going for drinks and, you know, cutting loose. Is what they're craving that sense of release? Are they craving that sense that when I have a few drinks I feel more confident? I feel more connected. I'm more social. I feel like I'm around people and that I have this sense of community. When you peel back just one layer, I think the craving is that sense of community and connection. I think when we crave food that's not good for us, it often relates to sometimes the sense of community. You know, we go out for food together and we overeat or we drink or whatever. Maybe we crave certain types of food when we're feeling down, when we're feeling lonely, when we're feeling isolated. And it kind of masks that sense. We don't crave the food, we crave that feeling of a sense of being full, a sense of being fulfilled. I think the craving comes from that need that we're looking for that is part of our human evolution. And I think sometimes the thing that we describe as craving on the way to that is not accurate. So I feel that that really defines and I always try to look further than if someone says they're craving something that doesn't quite align. I want to look at what is the destination, what is the feeling, what is the outcome that they might be truly craving? But their path to get there might not be exactly what they're wanting, or what makes sense, or what is in their best, highest interest. So when I define what do you crave? What are you pulled towards? What feels bigger than you? And then define that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:52] The next step is talking about living the life that you crave. I think this is another thing that differentiates me from a lot of coaches. I hear, and I understand it, I hear so much about niching and really developing a narrow focus in your industry so that people know, oh, this is the person that I work with. But one of the things that I find with my clients is that I don't want you to just develop the business that you crave. I don't want you to just develop the relationships that you crave in your community, or in your day-to-day partnerships in your family. I don't want you to just create a healthy lifestyle that you have a strong physical and mental health.

[00:09:42] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership Program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:43] When I look at your life, I look at all of the different parts. I see too many entrepreneurs, small business owners who try to compartmentalize their life. And then generally one area of their life might feel really strong. So maybe you've developed an exceptional business where you have customers who rave about you. You're making more money than you've ever made in your life, and you're so proud of that. But maybe your family life is suffering. Maybe your partnership with the person who you have dedicated your life to and who you're really close and connected to, is suffering as a result of the time and the energy that you're spending on your business or on work.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:31] In my perspective that is not creating the life that you crave. It's not living the life that you crave. It's creating an element of a strong business that is merely a spoke in the wheel of your life. What I want you to think about is when you are designing your life, i want you to think about all of the different aspects, the things that you crave in terms of relationship, family, social, physical and mental health and business. This creates a life that you crave. So many entrepreneurs, small business owners, and I see this - I was going to say that I see this more with moms and female business owners who feel like they compartmentalize their life, that they're trying to kind of do it all. They're trying to be a great parent and volunteer and, you know, be at their kid's sports. But then they're also trying to develop this business. But I actually don't think that's the case as much anymore. When I'm listening closely to men who are also running small businesses and have families, I think that we, this generation, we're starting to see more of a blurred line between work and home life. Now, I think one is that we are constantly accessible and that those lines can blur between family and work.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:00] But also our roles are changing. That we are expecting, and I think both partners are wanting, to be more connected. We're wanting to have more balanced lives. We're not wanting to do, you know, 120 hour weeks. We're not wanting to just dedicate our whole world to work. And then our partner looks after kind of the home life. And then, you know, that's how we create a balanced family. I think we are individually looking to have more balanced lives where we have those really close relationships and connections that work with our businesses, that work with our schedules so that we can have this life that we crave, not just the business. And I think this is also something that is unique about how I work with people, is I always want to know, that is awesome that your business is really taking off and you're getting a lot of clients, talk to me about how that's affecting things at home. Or, you know, I know with a lot of my clients, they share with me things that are going on in their personal lives. They have loved ones who are undergoing surgeries or who have fallen ill, and then that is taking their emotional toll. They want to be there, they want to be there to support their families, but they also have businesses that they're running. And I want to know, okay, I heard that your mom is not well and that you're making some really big decisions in your family right now. Talk to me about how that's affecting things at work. Who's taking over, who's helping that part of your life to stay smooth? And how do these things work together? It is all one machine. It's not individual parts and pieces.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:42] And then the last part of this is living the life that you crave. Now I think we hear a lot about values. We hear a lot about goals and dreams and plans and visions. But now I want to know, are you living it? And to me, living is an action. It is something that we do, not something we dream about, not something that you envision or work towards. It's what you're doing right now. And I think this is another really big piece. As high performers, we are really good at setting goals and moving towards them, but I hear too too often, when. When we achieve this milestone, when I hire three more people, when we close this big sale, when my kids get a little older, when we move to this new community, when... and it's like the payoff is in the future. And what I see is that people who constantly are telling me these things, that when this happens, inevitably, by the time one of those things, by the time your kids are older, by the time you've moved to that community, by the time you've opened the next sale or you've closed that next sale, something else comes in.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:05] And that payoff just seems to be getting farther and farther out. What I want to know when we work together is are you living the life that you crave? What is it looking like? How is it showing up right now? I want to really be clear on this. I'm not saying that things are perfect every day because they're not. You're going to have seasons where things are just hard. You're going to have unexpected things come up in your family, in your business, in your relationships, in your own health. That happens. I'm not giving you this overly positive gushy, 'the world is your oyster, things are smooth all the time'. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is when you look at your life and you give yourself a grade on how you feel you're living right now, are you satisfied? Are you grateful? Do you feel like you're making progress in the direction of the thing that you crave? I want to know what does that look like today? Because more days than not, I want you to feel like you are actively living the life that you crave. I don't want you to be putting it off into the future. We can be moving towards a bigger goal. We can be in pursuit of a project or a dream or something next. But I don't want you to feel like the satisfaction that you have in your life is in the future. That you suffer now, so that you can have a payoff later on.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:37] I think that whole rewards and consequences behaviorist approach, it doesn't work, and I think we're hearing it still in so many places. Rewards and consequences, right? We will put off our satisfaction and our lifestyle right now because we think that there's going to be this maybe big financial payoff in the future, or there's going to be this big thing that we're going to come into so that we keep pursuing it, thinking that, well, that big carrot, that big reward will pay off, or we run away from that feeling of discomfort trying to get ahead of it. I want you to just pause in this moment and say, am I living the life that I crave? Am I getting the things? And when I talk about craving, it's that combination of what are you feeling pulled towards? Are you getting closer to it? And are you fulfilling that need that is allowing you to evolve as a person? And moving you forward. Live the life you crave. Live it in action. Your life is all parts. And what do you crave that is moving you towards the person that you want to be in this world? That's what I'm talking about today. And I invite you to just spend some time with this. Maybe jot this phrase at the top of a piece of paper, and then just brainstorm all of the thoughts that come up for you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:12] What are the things that are feeling amazing right now, that feel like they are aligned with what you crave? And what are those things that are maybe a little bit in the future that you feel pulled towards in all of those different aspects and just let it come out. Just dump it out on the paper, have a look at it, see what it looks like. If you choose to, reach out to me, let's have a conversation about it and to see are there ways that maybe we can support each other in moving in the direction that you want to go? In the next episode, this is a two part series, this one. In the next episode, I'm going to talk about how do we do this? Okay, Kari, so I've kind of assessed living the life I crave and where I'm at right now, but now what? What do I do? How do I look at this so that I can continue to create the life that I crave and live the life that I crave? So I hope that you're going to join me for the next episode, where we're going to unpack more of the tangible steps and strategies that you can do to move towards this. I'll see you there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:19] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

30 - Avoiding Burnout in Your Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 2 Apr 2024 07:00:00 +0000

The topic today is hitting burnout in your business. I’m not exploring burnout itself, but more accurately some of the causes and stressors in our businesses that lead to burnout. I was walking my dog earlier, thrilled that I can now have light and temperate weather after 5:00, and it got me thinking about seasons and how they affect us. There are seasons and rhythms in everything, even in business, and working with those seasons is what can help us avoid burnout. Explore that with me.

Every business has a different rhythm and flow. The first months of the year are extremely busy for accountants but summer is extremely busy for wedding planners. We all know what times of year our business blossoms and fills out and when we feel more of a lull. That rhythm, if we don’t plan for it, leads to a lot of stress. It’s not the busyness of business that causes burnout, it’s the unpredictability. That’s what I want to focus on: how can we prepare for the busyness ahead of time so we avoid the last-minute stress of the sudden demands?

If we follow the natural seasons and rhythms of our bodies, we sleep better, we function better, we are more productive. It’s the same with businesses. If we prepare for the seasons and rhythms of our business, we can market well ahead of time and get clients set up early for the busy time. And conversely, we can plan holidays for quiet times instead of stressing over that slowdown. How do we manage the unpredictability and make our businesses run more smoothly? How do we avoid busyness burnout? I’m going to talk about that so we can start planning for efficiency now.

Key Moments

01:31 Different industries have different rhythms and seasons

04:40 Why we shouldn’t just “seize the day” and grind early, but work with our personal rhythms.

06:20 What do customers need in each season of our business?

We have the power to request change in our work so that we can align our rhythms
We need to assess and understand the natural seasons and flow of our business
Last-minute demands and rollercoaster emotions, when not accounted for, can cause burnout

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. I just got back from taking my dog for a walk, and I got to tell you, it was so nice to be able to get outside and not have to put on my winter coat and boots and mitt and toque to try and stay warm as I bear down in winter weather to take the dog outside. We are coming into spring. I feel like it's breathing new life into me, that I could take my dog out and enjoy the sun on my face. I am enjoying the longer days when we have daylight past 5:00 at night. It just feels amazing. And this got me to thinking about how we think about seasons and rhythms in business. And more specifically, today, I want to talk about how we can utilize seasons and rhythms to really help avoid burnout. Now I work with clients from all different industries, and what I notice is that every single industry has a rhythm and a season to it on an annual basis. So if you're in the tourism or the hospitality industry, you might find that your busy season is in the summertime when people are planning vacations and they're out and about.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:54] Or maybe you are selling recreational vehicles or boats, and that's something that people are really looking to use in the summertime. Or a lot of my business professionals are in year-end accounting, financial planning, tax preparation, all of those good things. And this is their really busy time of year where they're putting in long hours and they're just really nose to the grindstone and getting things done. Construction is another one that tends to operate in the busy times between the spring and the fall, and slows down in the winter. So the first thing that I want to just acknowledge is that every business has a rhythm that generally aligns with seasons. You'll have busy times and slow times throughout the year. But now what I want you to do is think about how does this align with your personal rhythms? Are you like me that your energy just gets slow in the wintertime? That when the sun sets at 5:00, all you want to do is go to sleep or, you know, eat warm comfort foods, but that your creative energy just isn't really there? But then maybe in the summertime, you find that that's when it comes back for you, that that's when you have more energy to take on new projects, or to come up with new ideas, or to explore new things in your business.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:17] When we consciously consider how these two forms of energy connect with each other, I think this is the secret to really helping us to avoid burnout long-term, because when we can align our personal energy and set ourselves up so that we have systems in place so that things work well and smoothly with our business rhythms, I think this is how we optimize what I call a flow state, where we feel like things are easy, we don't feel like we are doing the hardest type of work that requires the most focus, where we're having to be really social and have a high level of energy when our personal rhythms are in a lower state. We know what that feels like, where it's like we're just trying to push through the tough times and where it's like pushing water uphill, right? We just feel like we're not getting ahead. When you think about circadian rhythms, daily rhythms, are you the type of person that you're more of a morning person? You wake up, you're ready to go, that's your best focus, that's where you really get things done. Or maybe you're more of a night owl. Maybe you're someone that wants everyone else leaves the office, or when you've got time, when it's just quiet and dark, that's where you're really able to focus in and do your best work. I think the big thing is I hear and I read a lot of business books that say, you need to get up at 5 a.m., you need to be awake before everyone else, start your day, do the focus tasks first and get those out of the way.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:54] So you've heard, you know, eat the frog, do the hard thing, seize the day. I don't think that's how it works for a lot of us. I think that when we think about our natural rhythms, there are people that absolutely are early birds that love to do that kind of work in the morning, and there are others that enjoy a slower start. I have shifted. I used to be someone that used to do my best work late, late at night. I would quite often open my laptop at 830 at night and work for 2 or 3 hours well into the late hours, and I would get amazing work done. But it was way harder for me to focus in the mornings. That was a time when I was really distractable. As I've gotten older, that's actually shifted for me. So you might notice that maybe it's shifted for you too. Maybe you used to be more of a morning person, and now it maybe takes you a little bit longer and you don't do kind of your best-focused work or socializing or running meetings, maybe until later in the morning. Give yourself permission. And instead of saying, well, this is what I have to do because this is what's on the schedule and this is how things operate here, just ask yourself, do you have the power to maybe change, or to request that meetings are scheduled at a different time, or maybe even a different day of the week, when you don't have as many things popping up on your schedule and your energy and your focus is better.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:20] The next is think about your clients, your customers, the people who are buying what you need. The next element of this is I want to make your business run more smoothly, and when it runs more smoothly, you have more consistent cash flow, you know kind of what's coming up, you know what's expected. So I want you to think of your customers in terms of kind of three different seasons. So I want you to think in your business with your customers, what is their immediate need? What are the things that they're looking for right now? Where are their pain points right now? What do they really want right now? They want you to solve that problem for them yesterday. These types of purchases tend to be impulse-type buys. They're things that someone sees exactly what they're looking for, a quick solution to their problem, and they will make that purchase or get that service immediately. So you want to have some of those things on your schedule where when you're doing your marketing, when you're setting up your plans, that you are attracting those, what do people need? What do my customers need right now, and am I set up to provide that?

[00:07:42] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus, all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:44] So those immediate needs tend to be last-minute bookings. They tend to be those quick phone calls of things that people just need right away. So do you have those products and services available? Do you have inventory in stock so that you can provide that service quickly and efficiently? Do you have space? Do you allow space in your schedule so that you know that certain days of the week, maybe those are the times where people are consistently calling and they want that last-minute appointment, or they're wondering if they can just get squeezed in.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:16] Do you allot for that in your schedule? Because you want to get raving fans, and one of the ways we get raving fans is by being able to satisfy the need of the customer right away. But I don't want you to feel like you have that stressor that you want to provide what your customer or client wants, but you've already overbooked your day and you haven't allowed space for that impulse buy or that quick purchase. To allow this to work with your rhythms and to prevent that burnout and that feeling of overwhelm, you want to allow space in your schedule for that. The next thing is I want you to think one season out. So if you're listening to this podcast episode at the beginning of April, I want you to start thinking about July. I want you to think about your client, your customer right now. What might they be doing, what might they be looking for in July? And I want you to gently start to talk to those clients who come in on that last-minute appointment about what's happening in July. And what you want to do is you're kind of gently guiding them towards another opportunity to do business with you or to come back. So, for example, maybe you have someone who right now in their business is trying to do their financial planning, they're doing their tax preparation, they're trying to do their year-end, and things feel really chaotic.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:49] And you know that in the summertime, well, that's when they really want to take a break and they want to get away on holidays and they just want to kind of get away from it all. You might plan that before they go on holidays, maybe you're going to do a quick review meeting with them so that you can go through their tax planning early so that it doesn't feel as overwhelming for you when they're coming into their next tax season. So you might just think about, you know, doing their quarterly appointments. Are they set up for, you know, their corporate tax preparation in that next quarter? So you're just trying to kind of get ahead of it a little bit. And again, you're planting those seeds with your customers. You're maybe asking them if they want to make an appointment ahead of time. You know, so things like maybe you're in the event industry and right now maybe isn't the time that your clients are, you know, really thinking about booking their holidays or getting ahead of it. But you know that when July hits and things are really, really busy, then maybe that's when things start to really be pushed. If you already have an existing relationship with that customer, you can be calling them ahead of time and see if you can kind of get them ahead of the curve so that your busyness becomes more predictable. If you know it's coming, are there some clients that you can maybe book in a little bit earlier or get ahead with? So now again, it starts to become more predictable.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:17] The last thing is one of the things that we're seeing in business right now, I don't necessarily know why, if it's that as we've come out of these last few years post-pandemic, I feel like there's more and more people who are more cautious with their spending right now. And I am seeing this with my clients amongst almost every industry where they're saying, you know what, things are just a little bit slower this year, where we're just not seeing the spending that we were maybe in years past. What we know is that more of your clients, more of your customers are going to need to feel nurtured. So I want you to also be thinking six months out, which might seem like you're getting really ahead of yourself. But the reason why I want you to do this, if you are selling a high-ticket item or someone really has to spend significant money on your product or service, then you need to be thinking at least six months out before they're making that purchase. And I want you to think in terms of your marketing and your systems and your procedures. How are you guiding that customer from where they are right now to making that big purchase with you six months from now, especially if you have a high-ticket item? So what this does for you as well is now you are not relying on those impulse customers who are last minute, who need something yesterday. In that type of a relationship, those people who are making the impulse buys, it tends to be more tension, more high-stress.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:58] They will make those last-minute decisions, often on price. So this is where we're inclined to lower our price to offer a sale, to give a discount. It's stress-inducing to a business owner and to a business. So you don't want your business to rely on that, because that's where that roller coaster of emotions can really come in. And I think that's what can really contribute to burnout long-term, when we are depending on those last-minute purchases. So I want you to start to think further ahead and really think about what could I be preparing for those customers that I want six months from now? Where am I going to provide education to them in my marketing? How can I be connecting with them or reaching out to them? So when you think about if your busy season or your big purchase item is coming in the fall, I want you to think about how can you be nurturing your clients now to help them develop that trust relationship with you? How can you be educating them so that they get to know you? Can you give them kind of some great advice to help set them up for success? That by the time you launch that big ask or that big release, that they're feeling really trustworthy and they're way more likely to make that bigger purchase.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:16] Though, when you can plan and predict six months out, now all of a sudden you don't feel at the mercy of your business. You don't feel like you're kind of being caught behind all the time. So I want my event planners, my wedding planners, I want them, and I mean, I know that the busy, busy ones, sometimes they're planning more than a year ahead of time, and they're doing their trade shows, and a lot of their advertising and marketing is being done far, far in advance. But what works beautifully for them is then when they're in the busy season, they already know exactly what the schedule looks like a year in advance. They know what staff they need to help manage that. They know what their revenue is going to look like. Now all of a sudden it becomes very predictable. And it's not the busyness that causes burnout, it's the unpredictability. So when you can align a) your own personal rhythms, when you can know that, yeah, you know what? Business tends to be slower in the winter or this certain time of year tends to be our kind of slower season. And what you find personally is maybe that's when your stress kicks in because, oh, things are slow. We don't have the revenue. Things aren't coming in. This is when my stress kicks in. But maybe that's the perfect time where you can pause, take a holiday, get away, maybe brainstorm some new ideas, do some masterminding, take a training, any sorts of thing like that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:53] The ideal time to do that is when you are in a slower place in business. So plan for it. Allow yourself to take a holiday. Step away from the office because like I said, when you expect it, when you know it's coming and you align and plan for it, that this is when you're going to put your feet up for a little bit and catch your breath, now you're ready for when it builds up again. If it's unexpected or you haven't planned for it, that slowdown can also create tension. And again, this is why I take you back to it is not the busyness that causes burnout, it's the unpredictability. Some people burn out when things are slow because they're worrying about where that next client or customer is coming from, and what do they need to do to prepare for it? It's the unpredictability of should I be letting staff go? Should I be cutting my team back? If you knew to expect it, you can plan for it and away you go. So I hope that that was helpful today as you come into the spring season thinking about what this means for you, where your energy is at, and how can you align that with the rhythms and season in your business? I'm going to be talking more about this because I think that there are rhythms to our day, there's rhythms to the week, there are human rhythms that we have in our bodies and in our cycles that we can be utilizing more and more, I think, to offset some of that stress response in our bodies.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:24] So this is a topic that I'm probably going to keep coming back to, and I'd love to hear your questions and your thoughts. Do you already do things like this in your business? What do you find works really well for you? Or is this something you haven't maybe fully embraced yet and you want to learn more about it? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Let's connect. Again, if you haven't liked and subscribed, please do and I would love for you, the best way to stay connected and to find out what's going on, where I'm going to be, if there are webinars coming up where you can do a deep dive, and we can have conversations together where you can ask your questions, the best place to find out about any and all of that is through my newsletter. So click on the link in the show notes and make sure that you sign up so that you don't miss anything that's going on. Thanks so much for being here. We will see you next time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:11] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

29 - Emotional Intelligence in Business with David Cory

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 19 Mar 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Today I’m talking about emotional intelligence and why it’s so important for corporations and small businesses alike to invest in. I’m excited to introduce you to my guest for this conversation, David Cory. David Cory is a leadership development coach, trainer, keynote speaker, and he founded the Emotional Intelligence Training Company. David has worked around the world on the design and delivery of leadership development programs, all of which include emotional intelligence (EQ) assessment, training, and coaching. David is exactly the right person to guide us through a discussion on emotional intelligence.

I love exploring where people’s business passion comes from and David is no exception. I asked him how, even though it was more than 26 years ago for him, his passion for teaching and emotional intelligence came to be. David explains his childhood love of teaching everything from outdoor skills to guitar to downhill skiing and how that led him to study education and leadership development. He came into EQ as a focus when he attended a conference from the person who established the publishing company which published the world’s first scientific assessment for emotional intelligence.

There is an optimal balance, in leadership and management, between getting results and impact on people and that, according to David is where things fall apart for us. We have historically overemphasized the “getting results” part instead of relationships with people and understanding how to create an attractive workplace culture. David and I talk about how logic still involves an emotional context, where self-regard comes into developing EQ, the lack of relationship training we get in childhood, and how emotional intelligence is a skill that we can learn and don’t have to innately be born with. This conversation is so important and David has such brilliant insight to share.

Key Moments

06:04 The trouble with overemphasizing getting results and not examining workplace culture

09:40 Why our evolution towards a greater understanding of connection needs a systematic approach

12:01 This is a skill anyone can learn, it’s not a function of personality

How emotional skills help us combat imposter syndrome
What is the difference between a transactional interaction and a relationship?
How groups and teams can work with David Cory on learning emotional intelligence

About David Cory:

David Cory is a leadership development coach, trainer, keynote speaker, and consultant known for his expertise in applying the concept of emotional intelligence to individual and organizational performance improvement. With a Masters’ degree in Adult Education, Professional Certified Coach (PCC) accreditation from the International Coaching Federation (ICF), and “Master Trainer” status in emotional intelligence from MHS Inc., David founded The Emotional Intelligence Training Company (EITC) which celebrates its 26th anniversary this year.

David has worked with the most progressive organizations around the world on the design and delivery of leadership development programs, all of which include EQ assessment, EQ training, and EQ coaching as the unique elements that make them cutting-edge. In addition, David has been a keynote speaker at conferences around the world, including the Harvard Medical School, the Cheung Kong Graduate School of Business in Shanghai, and a 7-time keynote speaker at the Asia HR Congress held in Bahrain, Brunei, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur (2x) and twice virtually. David and team are the only ones to have ever created an EI course for an entire nation – the Republic of Botswana in 2013.

Resources discussed in this episode:

“The Fearless Organization” by Amy C. Edmondson
Be The Anchor Episode 14: Take the Emotion Out of It and Other BS Advice
Free monthly webinars on emotional intelligence: EITC.ca/webinars

Contact David Cory:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm so excited to introduce you to my guest today. David Cory is a leadership development coach, trainer, keynote speaker, and consultant known for his expertise in applying the concept of emotional intelligence to individual and organizational performance improvement. With a Master's degree in Adult Education, Professional Certified Coach accreditation from the International Coaching Federation, and Master Trainer Status in Emotional Intelligence from MHS Incorporated, David founded the Emotional Intelligence Training Company, which celebrates its 26th anniversary this year. David has worked with the most progressive organizations around the world on the design and delivery of leadership development programs, all of which include EQ assessment, EQ training, and EQ coaching as the unique elements that make them cutting edge. In addition, David has been a keynote speaker at conferences around the world, including Harvard Medical School, the Graduate School of Business in Shanghai, and a seven time keynote speaker at the Asia HR Conference. David and his team are the only ones who have ever created an EI course for an entire nation, the Republic of Botswana in 2013. Welcome, David. What an amazing bio.

David Cory: [00:02:05] Thank you, Kari. It's great to be here.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:07] To be in this industry for 26 years, I know that it might feel like you're going back a long ways thinking about what initially got you into this area of interest and kind of what keeps you there. Let's start off with your story.

David Cory: [00:02:23] Sure. Thank you. I've always loved teaching people stuff, ever since I was a little kid I taught stuff. I worked at a summer camp and I taught outdoor skills, I taught horseback riding, and then all through school I taught guitar lessons at a local music store, and you can see some the guitars hanging on the wall behind me, so it's a passion of mine. I taught downhill skiing, both in the Canadian Rockies and over in the German Alps. It was natural that I went into education and so I got a bachelor's degree in education. I thought that schools were not for me. I did not want to work in schools, but rather I became interested in how organizations learn and how they train employees to do certain things. And that interest, if you follow that path, takes you into team effectiveness, leadership development. And so I was teaching leadership development courses with a Master's degree in adult education for a post-secondary institution that had a corporate training department. And I thought it was fascinating that we were teaching these very sophisticated skills, assuming that people had a basic level of personal and interpersonal skills. And of course, as you know, there's a wide variation of personal and interpersonal skills out in the world. Some people have them and they are effective at whatever they choose to do in life, and other people struggle. And I didn't know what to call that or how to understand that until I went to a conference and learned about the concept of emotional intelligence from the person who founded the publishing company which published the world's first scientific assessment for emotional intelligence.

David Cory: [00:04:02] So I learned about what emotional intelligence was at the same time as learning about the assessment for emotional intelligence and immediately thought, this is important, this is going to be big, and immediately partnered with that individual who gave the presentation and his company. And that was 26 years ago. And so I left my job at the post-secondary institution and started this company. We called it the Emotional Intelligence Training Company, not knowing that that's what people were going to type into Google when they learned about emotional intelligence at a conference or in an MBA program, and then they go back to their company and they would think, okay, so we need to get someone in here to tell us about emotional intelligence, what it is, how to develop it, how it can make our leaders more effective, and they would type in emotional intelligence training. And there we were, again, quite by accident, a happy accident. And immediately the calls started coming in in the early 2000s from all over the world. And we've all been traveling ever since.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:05] Wow. I mean, I had a conversation this morning with someone around SEO, and it sounds like you stumbled into some very brilliant SEO early on. So, I mean...

David Cory: [00:05:16] If you're trying to name your company, name it what people are going to type into a Google search when they're going to go look for you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:24] Brilliant. And I mean to have the passion as well, at the same time that you add to it. I mean, what a great startup story.

David Cory: [00:05:31] Yes, in fact.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:33] And now here you are. Now when you think of when you were first teaching at that post-secondary education, and you saw the value of interpersonal relationships and being self-aware. It sounds like this was a really quick sell, that other big corporations got it really quickly, really easily, they saw the importance of it. Was that truly the way that it was?

David Cory: [00:05:54] Interestingly, Kari, all managers on the planet have to find the optimal balance between getting results and the impact on people. What we overemphasize is the getting results part, which means that managers are scrambling to try to get those results in ways that they know, the ways that they have on hand. And so what you find managers doing in lieu of having proper training in leadership, is what they do is they are hard on people. They have high quotas and targets. They are threatening to people, telling people that if they don't, you know, make their quota, they're going to lose their job. They do ridiculous things like fire the lowest performing person on a monthly basis, like that is absolutely ridiculous. You know, there's really two motivators for us, Kari. One is the carrot and the other is the stick. And we respond much better to the carrot. What's in it for us? How is it going to benefit us? When we know those things and understand those things, then it's much better for creating the kind of workplace culture that people want to work in. So they're attracted to that particular organization that has taken the care and attention to create that kind of an attractive culture. That's where they want to stay. They don't want to leave.

David Cory: [00:07:15] So people have attraction problems and they have retention problems when they don't pay attention to workplace culture. And in order to create workplace culture, they assume that their managers have the personal and interpersonal skills to create that kind of culture, but they don't necessarily. In fact, so much so that the woman who made the concept of psychological safety famous, Amy Edmondson, the Harvard University business professor, she wrote in her book The Fearless Organization that many managers don't have the emotional intelligence to create psychological safety. Now, I'm paraphrasing her because the actual details of that quotation are many managers don't have the emotional intelligence skills to realize when their people are holding back, when their people aren't asking the questions they need to ask. And this is all part of being intelligent about emotions, is understanding that emotions drive everything that we do, and that emotions are far more important in our behavior than we ever thought through much of the 20th century. We always knew that emotions were important, but at the same time, you've also heard let's leave emotions out of it. Let's use cold hard logic on this. The over-focus was on technical skills, again, the results, not on the people.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:32] You know, I recorded an episode a few times back and it was called 'Leave the Emotion Out of It and Other BS Advice You've been Given for Management', but I think there was some truth to that that, you know, especially back, let's be honest, you've been in this field for a couple of decades and times have changed. That whole corporate philosophy of, you know, it's lonely at the top and you just need to put the pressure on people and rule by fear, that's changed. And have you seen over time that the recognition of the importance of developing emotional intelligence as a skill set, has that become more a popular concept over maybe even the last decade? Have you seen a shift, or do you feel that just more and more companies are getting on the bandwagon?

David Cory: [00:09:18] We have seen evolution in action. We're evolving all the time. And of course, how that happens is that it's not the baby boomers who get to determine how everything goes in an organization. It's all the different generations and the different influences that have happened to them, and the way that we as a species are evolving. And so we are evolving towards a greater awareness of the importance of connection, of being vulnerable, of expressing ourselves emotionally. And so many of the initiatives that are going on in organizations have some relation. What's unfortunate and what doesn't happen as often as it could, is a systematic approach, which is what we bring. A scientific and systematic approach to the development of these critical and important foundational skills, skills that are foundational to human effectiveness. That's what we bring. There's a lot of models out there. Your listeners are probably aware of other approaches or methods with respect to emotional intelligence, but they're often lacking. And the reason is because they don't come from empirical science. When they don't come from empirical science, we recognize it right away. They're missing critical and important elements. One element that is often missing from emotional intelligence models is the way that emotion and logic work together, because what we know is that logic doesn't take place in an emotional vacuum.

David Cory: [00:10:48] It always takes place within an emotional context. So what is the emotional context? Is it one fraught with worry, anxiety, avoidance, fear? Or is it one of calm and confidence and courage and authenticity? So we have to get to that place where people feel comfortable being themselves. And there's a whole lot of discomfort out there, Kari. People who are uncomfortable in their own skin, who don't want to let you know who they really are, don't want you to know what cards they're holding. And all of that prevents us from connection, which is really what we all desire, and we all want is more connection, more realness, more humanity, more of what's genuine. And what we don't want is pretense. But that's what we get, a lot of pretense. People who are pretending to be the kind of manager they think their company wants them to be instead of being themselves, which is much more attractive, far more effective for people.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:50] I want to circle back. I call it putting a pin. I want to put a pin in a couple of key points that you made, because I want to make sure that people truly understand and absorb the impact of this. So the first thing I want to point out that you talked about in your systematic approach to emotional intelligence is this is not defined by your personality. This is not just a trait that you have. This is a skill that can be taught. So I wanted to make sure that people really hear that, that this isn't just you're hiring... because I think in my work as well, I hear a lot about, well, I just need to hire the right person. Just like any skill set, we can learn, right? When you love teaching and you love training, to recognize that this is a skill set that can be learned, it can be improved over time to make sure that we truly hear that, that even if you don't have it - and I think a lot of my listeners are small business owners who have a dual role in the company where they're the founder and the owner, they're the one that has the passion behind it. They're also trying to manage. And when you talked about that fear that we sometimes see managers putting towards employees, I think we also have a fear as owners sometimes that if we're not kind enough, if we're not, you know, vulnerable enough, if we're not willing to do the work ourselves, there's also a fear that if people don't like us, they'll leave. So I think the flip side of that psychological safety is also, can leaders and managers continue to hold people accountable while finding that balance of being approachable and being warm and compassionate? So I wanted to just--

David Cory: [00:13:34] -- absolutely.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:34] If you want to add to that. I'm sure you have thoughts.

David Cory: [00:13:37] Absolutely. So the model that we use has five categories of emotional skills. And the categories are all things that everybody knows about. This is self-perception. So you know do you really know yourself? And so we we really encourage people to know themselves. And self-regard is one of the emotional skills within self-perception. And so there are ways that we regard ourselves where we are absolutely our own best champions. And there are ways that we absolutely get in our own way, that everybody's familiar with imposter syndrome. And that's an issue with self-regard, with what we believe to be true about ourselves. And so when we dig down into some of these areas, we can understand people's effectiveness or lack thereof, and we can help improve. Really knowing oneself is the beginning of the journey. And then it's about expressing yourself in ways that are authentic and genuine and honest. Honesty really is the best policy, and we all know when people are being honest with us, and we know when we're being honest with ourselves and when we're being honest with others. And so it's about having those more honest and genuine kinds of conversations with others. It's about being able to have boundaries in our relationships and saying what's okay and not okay in terms of how people treat us and the way that they speak to us, etc. And all of that is part of emotional expression or, sorry, self-expression, rather.

David Cory: [00:15:07] And then there's the whole interpersonal area. There's understanding. Can you imagine, Kari, if we all had courses or classes or lessons on relationships when we were young? Imagine--

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:18] -- oh my gosh--

David Cory: [00:15:19] -- imagine what we could do to the divorce rate and to the separation rate? You know, we don't get systematic lessons in these things. And so this is what we're trying to replace is we're trying to, okay adults, you didn't get this when you were young when you really needed it, we're going to try to give it to you now. So what is a relationship? What makes a relationship meaningful? As everybody knows, a relationship is meaningful when it's characterized by trust, loyalty, commitment, showing up for each other, really being there. And when we don't learn about relationships and we don't know that, we don't know how to improve a damaged relationship and we don't know how to start a relationship. And so really, it's understanding all those kinds of things. And then we have to battle beliefs because there are these traditional beliefs that you don't come to work to make friends, or you don't have relationships with people in the workplace that are not directly work-related. And we say those are not relationships because you're not actually relating with each other, those are transactional interactions. And there's a big difference between a transactional interaction and a relationship. A relationship is when you put some humanity into it and you talk about what's actually going on, how your day really is going. It's not asking how you're doing as a pleasantry, it's asking, how are you doing? Let's just sit for a moment. I really want to know how you're doing because, you know, I noticed this or that, and I'm just, basically you're saying I care about you. I care that things are not okay for you.

David Cory: [00:16:49] And when your manager says that it's extremely powerful. And people say, I don't have the time to do that. We don't have the time for a lot of things, but we make the time for the things that are important. And so there is a definite return on investment for making the time to say no, how's it really going? How are you really doing on that project? Is it going well? Are you are you coping okay with everything? What do you need from me? How can I help you and support you in that? When managers learn these things and learn that the employee engagement of their employees are directly determined by how they treat employees, they start thinking, okay, what do we want those employee engagement scores to be? Do I want to cause people to quit and leave? Because we know that people quit and leave companies, not because of the company treated them badly, because companies can't treat people badly. It's individuals within companies. It's managers who treat people badly. That's what they say. They leave bad managers, not bad companies. So again, we can change all this, but it's one person at a time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:58] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. 'My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years. And I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with, um, the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success'. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:59] I often talk to my clients about routines of connection. I think so many companies, and you alluded to being in, you know, our grade school, right, when we were children and that idea that when someone was in a position of authority, whether it was a teacher, a principal, someone who was considered to be in a position of, let's say, management over us as children. We remember the fear, you know, in our cell memory that says you're being called to the principal's office. There is one reason for that. And it means something catastrophic is about to happen, and we carry that with us into our adult lives.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:38] So then when you have a manager that the first time they call you into their office, your nervous system will automatically assume that you're in trouble, something terrible is about to happen. And when we can reframe that and have routines on a regular basis to connect with our team members and beyond that place of if you have an issue, my door is always open, come talk to me. Right? We can't rely on our employees to say, oh yes, I feel safe going into my manager's office and talking about I'm really confused about this, or I'm just really struggling right now, and sharing that vulnerability when the stage has not been set. The other piece of that is, I wonder how often when people don't feel comfortable, when they aren't able to be themselves at work, when they feel unsure, you talked about beliefs. How many times when we have a model that says we fire the lowest performing employee, but then in the same breath we say, oh, but come to me if you have a question, how many times do we see this uncertainty as incompetence? How often is it mislabeled as someone is not competent in their position, when really the true issue is we have an issue with approachability of the manager to be able to provide the support they need to make this person really successful in the position that they're in.

David Cory: [00:22:06] Absolutely, Kari. And our preference by far is to send a group message to an entire team or division of managers and say, this is the way that we want to interact in the organization versus the other, which is we've got this manager, we can't afford to lose them because of their technical skills, but we can't afford to keep them with the way they treat people, will you work with them? My first question always is, are they open to coaching? And if they're open to coaching, we work with them and we have seen some incredible dramatic turnarounds from people when they see what other people say about them, how other people perceive them. And we use the EQ 360 for that. So the assessment that we use is the Emotional Quotient Inventory, that's the self-report version. We use the EQ 360 for more senior people in organizations, for executive teams. And we'd much prefer to tell the group of people this is a better way. And you talked about setting the stage, and we quote John F Kennedy when he said, the best time to fix a roof is when the sun is shining. So build those relationships when times are good, don't expect that you're going to be able to build that relationship in a time of crisis. You know, when you need someone to stay for the weekend because you've got a critical project, a mission critical project, if you don't already have the relationship and have some investment in that emotional bank account, don't expect that person to be happy about staying for the weekend for you. But if you have made that investment and taken that time and built that relationship, then of course they will understand the need to stay for the weekend if that's what's required.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:46] And I think, again, I want to pull this back also to the small business owner, you know, who doesn't have an HR department and a lot of middle level managers, because I want my audience to make sure that they hear, no matter if you are in, you know, a large company or you are in a very small company, the principle is the same. That when you have that relationship investment with your small team, when things get hard, and they will, those people will also stay late on a weekend. They will help you. You know, we had a situation in my company years ago where our clinic flooded. And I remember how humbled I was in the moments that the staff were like, what can we do? You know, do you need trucks? Do you need extra hands? What do you, how can we help? And my first instinct was and I actually said out loud, I can't afford to pay you for this. And they were like, oh, that's not why we're here. You know, and that sense that there's actually a reciprocal relationship here. And there were certainly times where, you know, the hours were longer and I definitely was paying for those. But the relationship goes both ways no matter if you're in a really big company or if you're very, very small. Like the same principles apply of self-reflection, boundaries, interpersonal relationships, like it all is the same.

David Cory: [00:25:04] Absolutely, yes.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:06] I love to hear how systematic the process is, because I think sometimes I want to address this concept of we live in North America, where I think that hustle culture is so ingrained and our performance and results and return on investment. How have you seen the concept of emotional intelligence differ across the globe? I mean, you have been traveling extensively. What have you seen?

David Cory: [00:25:34] What I've seen, Kari, is that how one is emotionally intelligent differs from culture to culture. So, for example, in our culture, we value people who are quite a bit more direct in their conversation and their communication, whereas other cultures, and even starting to learn the language in some parts of the world really point this out, that some languages are context dependent, our language is context independent. So in a high context culture, they use very few words and everybody knows what the intended meaning is by the context, whereas that's not the case for us. And so they perceive us as to be a bit aggressive and overbearing and too direct. And so if we're trying to connect, we need to understand more about their culture and have some empathy for the differences, and then try to meet in the middle somewhere. We frequently encounter challenges and difficulties based on this lack of attempt to understand each other.

Kari Lotzien: [00:26:38] You talked about in our culture, it's context independent and in other cultures, language is context dependent. Can you give me an example, like do the actual words change?

David Cory: [00:26:47] Absolutely, absolutely.

Kari Lotzien: [00:26:49] The words themselves change?

David Cory: [00:26:51] In Mandarin if you wanted to ask someone if they'd like something to eat, you simply say, eat something. In our culture, it's would you like something to eat? So you can see that we use a whole lot more words. And so you can imagine the two cultures trying to connect and in one culture viewing the other as a bit verbose, overly dominant, taking up a lot of space with the words that we use with our, in some cases, our big personalities as well. So again, it's really understanding cultural differences. So the 15 emotional skills that we measure are the same and help us to understand human effectiveness all over the world. It's just the extent to which those different emotional skills are used and the way that they're used, the actual behavior between people is going to differ from culture to culture. So it's important to understand more about the culture that you're in.

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:47] What you've explained is that even though the cultural norms change, the system doesn't. The system works no matter where you are. It's a matter of how aware are you? Are you self reflecting on how much space you're taking up in the room? And are you addressing the contextual element of where you are? Part of what I heard in your example was, even though in our North American culture we tend to take up more space, use more words, I still think that concept of being able to acknowledge when we can use silence, when we can speak less, is such a skill set that I think we still need to develop. And I'll be perfectly honest with you, I'm still working on that one.

David Cory: [00:28:36] We're all working on all of these skills, Kari, all the time, and it's a journey. And it's one of the reasons that we don't ask questions is because we think that we should know and we can't know everything, and so we have to make it more comfortable. We have to make it more common and usual for people to ask questions. Schooling did not help us. We frequently learn that there's only one right answer to every question and if you don't get that one right answer, you're wrong. And that's a shame. And then we get people into the workplace after their years of schooling and we say, okay, now we're going to get innovative. So what are all your great creative ideas? And nobody has any. And it's like, well, because they don't know what the right answer is. And they're, and so we have to get to this level of expression where we just express ourselves instead of worrying about whether it's right, worrying about whether it's wrong, worrying about what people are going to think of us, etc., because all these things come up for us because of our culture.

Kari Lotzien: [00:29:39] David, I can talk to you forever. I feel like I have just tapped such a small, such a miniscule amount of your knowledge and your experience. And, you know, I hope very sincerely that this conversation continues, and I really hope that it will. I want to make sure, before we wrap up today, that people know, how can they find you if they are curious about how do I do this self-assessment? Where do I start? Where's the best place to find you?

David Cory: [00:30:07] Yeah, the best place, the easiest thing to remember is EITC.ca. We are very easy to find, type in emotional intelligence training and we come up, it's the Emotional Intelligence Training Company. And we would love to tell people more about how they can take the self-assessment and learn more about themselves. It's the kind of assessment that is where a review of results is required. So there's an expense obviously. And so happy to let people know more about what's involved there. Best is when everybody on a team or in a group takes the online assessment prior to a group session, and we do a review of results virtually with them before we get together as a group, either virtually or in person. And then we talk about the importance of these various emotional skills to the workplace and to creating the kind of a workplace culture that everyone wants to be in, where everyone feels supported and safe and like they belong and where they want to stay.

Kari Lotzien: [00:31:02] This is what I want my audience to hear from that. So the link will be in the show notes. Make sure you just can click on that and you can find David easily. But what I hear is that this is not a one and done. It's not that you take a quiz and then you find out, oh, here's where I land and here's how it will be forever. You are really with these companies every step of the way, not only to address where we are now, but where we want to be and how we can get there together. And I just, I love your outline of that. As we wrap up today, just one final question. I always like to ask my guests, how do you stay anchored? How do you find that place of calm and stability in yourself?

David Cory: [00:31:42] That's a great question, Kari. And my answer is music. I look forward to getting through my workday so that I can play those guitars behind me and write music, perform in various places. And that is my passion. And that's how I stay grounded and connected. The work that we do is important. Our work grounds us and connects us where we're helping people, not just in their workdays, but in their entire lives. They are better parents, husbands, fathers, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons as a result. They're more connected to their communities, their families, and themselves through the work that we do. And you're right, it's not a one and done. It's a never ending job of increasing self awareness and increasing intention.

Kari Lotzien: [00:32:29] Thank you so much. And hearing you speak just about your passion and how what you're doing, we talk about finding our why, and I mean, not only did you find it, but you've held on to it for decades. And to feel the impact that you're having in the world when you talk about, you know, you're a better friend, you're a better community member. This is what lights me up. I get really excited about business because I think this is our impact. I think schools have the ability to change how children are perceived and how we come into those years. I believe that it is business that does it in our adult years, and we want to appreciate the power that we hold, and this is such an integral part. So I wanted to just finish by saying, thank you so much for sharing your your wisdom with us today in just such a powerful way.

David Cory: [00:33:18] My pleasure, Kari. Thank you. Anytime.

Kari Lotzien: [00:33:21] Thank you. Make sure to click on the link, reach out, find David, connect with him, and follow along on his social media platforms as well. We're going to share those links in the show notes. Thanks so much for being here. We'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:33:35] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

28 - Procrastination

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 5 Mar 2024 08:00:00 +0000

I’m sharing about a topic that is near and dear to my heart today, friends. I’m talking about my solid, long-term, committed relationship with procrastination. That’s right. Maybe this is something you can all identify with which is why I want to address it and shed some light on it. What is procrastination? Why do we do it? When does it show up? I have many questions about my procrastination so I’ve organized my thoughts into something I can share with you that just might resonate.

Of course, the first thing I did was look up the definition of procrastination because I love research and learning. Oxford said it’s just the act of not doing something. I prefer the Britannica definition, which is to be slow or late about doing something that should be done, to delay doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it, or because you are lazy, etc.. This helped clarify my thoughts about how I define procrastination and what I think it means for those of us in business. I think it’s something slightly different.

In this episode, I’m going to define what I think procrastination is and why it happens to us when it does. There are three main reasons I think we procrastinate and none of those reasons are laziness. I’m also going to tell you about the names I’ve given to my different styles of procrastination. Not all procrastination is the same or comes from the same place. Ultimately we each need to examine our own tendencies to procrastinate and understand where it comes from and how it shows up. Once we can identify where it starts, we can begin to create plans for dealing with it so we can achieve our goals. Let’s get into it.

Key Moments

03:45 What is procrastination? The three things I think define it.

10:08 How procrastination shows up and pulls our focus from what we should be doing

16:46: So what do we do about procrastination? I have some thoughts.

What is “procrastisupport” and why is it a type of martyrdom associated with procrastination?
The timeline of when procrastination appears matters to how we cope with it
Why learning to ask for help and having supports in place are important steps

Resources mentioned in this episode:

WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Hello my friends. I am so glad you're here. Today I am sharing with you a topic that is near and dear to my heart. And I have to tell you with a bit of honesty, I'm tired of myself right now. I have a solid, long-term, committed relationship with procrastination, and I wanted to share a couple of thoughts about that today because I thought maybe you do too. Now, I looked up the definition of procrastination. So there's a couple different definitions. I didn't like the Oxford one that just said it's the act of not doing something, but Britannica, the definition of procrastinate is to be slow or late about doing something that should be done, to delay doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it, or because you are lazy, etc.. And I thought, um, that doesn't really fit for me, because in most situations when I'm procrastinating, it's not because I don't want to do it or because I'm lazy. And I don't think this is true of a lot of people. So I think it's a topic worth diving into.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:53] What is procrastination then? So I agree that it's that idea that we're putting something off, that we know we need to do it, many times these things have a deadline or they have an importance to them. Things like taxes, big projects, things that we want to start, the book we want to write, all of those great intentions. But then something happens and we just keep pushing it back, pushing it back, pushing it back. Now here's the part that I don't agree with when it comes to Britannica. I don't think it's because we're lazy, I really don't, and I'll tell you that there have been times in my life where I might have called something procrastination, but it wasn't the right term. I think sometimes when we have a really big idea, a really big project - so maybe you're going to launch a course, maybe you have a new business idea, maybe you want to write that book - so it's a really big thing, I think there are times where it looks like procrastination, but it's actually marinating. Where we're sitting with an idea and we're just kind of letting it come into our thoughts, our ideas, and we're just swimming around in it. And then when we give ourselves a deadline or we've sold the product, we've made the commitment, we have something that has a due date, that it pushes all of that soupy marination kind of stuff into a plan, and it starts to have a more linear flow and then we actually get the thing done. But I think there's a piece of procrastination where we're not actually taking action on something, but there's this beautiful spot where we do want to marinate with an idea. We don't want to rush something, we want to take our time with it and let it kind of unfold. I think there's a magic to that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:45] So the first thing I want to talk about is just what is procrastination? Why is it happening? Is it more of a marination or is there something else going on? Now, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm at a stage where this week, this past couple of weeks, my procrastination is not at that marination, beautiful stage where it's moving me forward and it's allowing me to just sit with my creativity. There's something else, and I think it's now coming with irritation. And this is where I wanted to dig a little bit deeper with you today and really talk about that, because when I come back to, okay, what's really going on here, and I dig into this. When procrastination shows up and you find yourself delaying or putting off things that you know you should do that are connected, especially to those big goals. So if it was something around your New Year's resolution or something you wanted to do in your business this year, you were connected. You were motivated to that bigger idea. As I have been, I've got some big things that I'm launching right now that I'm really excited about and I do believe in. But I'm in my own way right now and it's annoying me. The first thing that I acknowledge is that one of the biggest reasons for me is fear. I tend to be one who has a very active imagination and can always anticipate the worst possible scenario in a lot of different situations. Anxiety and I are close. We've been close for a long time, and if you need to know 92 things that could go wrong in any different situation, I can probably tell you what they are. The fear of being vulnerable, putting that idea out there, creating a course, launching a podcast, writing a book, sharing your ideas, that's a really vulnerable experience. And any time I think that we get close to letting go of something that we've held close or that feels personal, there's an immense amount of fear. And I think we have the fear of it not being as great as we thought it was going to be. We have the fear of being rejected or ridiculed or judged for our idea that it just didn't land the way that we wanted it to.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:57] And I think there's a fear of rejection because, not that we're not courageous enough, not that we're not brave enough, not that we're not badass enough. it's simply because what other people think matters. And if you're in a service-based business, people buying your service or product matters. Feeling connected and aligned with others is part of what you want. So I think the fear is real, but in this situation we want to look at it. Is the fear preventing us from taking the action that we need to, to even be able to assess whether or not the idea is valid? If you shut yourself down and fear stops you in your tracks and you never release the idea, you never tell anyone about it, you're never going to get to the point where you know if it was good or not, because your fear was like a guard at the door that didn't allow you to actually put it out there. So I think by just acknowledging it and looking at it and going, okay, this is fear, but it's fear that's actually not based in reality. It's not based on any sort of data. I'm just stuck. I'm in my own head. And to get through that, we need to kind of force ourselves to take some level of action to get some data to find out, okay, is this fear valid?

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:15] The next. I think being uncertain creates procrastination. Let's be honest, sometimes we just don't know what to do next. We don't know what the next right step is, and it can feel a little bit daunting. Or we feel like we're really on unstable ground because we just don't know what are the things to do in the right order? And I think this comes up in business so many times you want to launch a new product or you want to offer a new service and you don't know, well, should I focus on my website? Should I focus on social media? Should I be doing a newsletter? Should I be doing a promotion or a sale? How do I get my word out there so that people know what I'm doing? Should I be doing a collaboration? Like there's so many different options. I think sometimes just the uncertainty of not knowing what to do or what to do when can get in our way. And every time that you listen to a new person or give a new opinion, they'll have a different idea about what you should do. So I think sometimes it's just, okay, what could I do next? And how does that feel? Does that feel like it would get me closer to my goal, or does it feel like maybe I'm playing a little bit too small? Does it feel like, well, that doesn't really feel connected with where I want to go? It feels like maybe I'm actually going backwards? So I think just asking yourself that question, am I just feeling uncertain and I don't know where to go and what could help me take that first step or the next step?

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:43] Third. I think procrastination can show up when we have a lack of knowledge, when we feel like we just don't know what to do. And this is different than uncertainty, because I think uncertainty is we know what all of our options are, we just don't know which one is the right one, and we don't feel necessarily confident or ready to make the decision. I think lack of knowledge comes in when we truly don't know how to do something. We don't know how to run a Facebook ad. We don't know how to record a podcast. I know for myself, lack of knowledge has been a really key piece when it comes to tech. I will get completely wrapped up in trying to choose the right platform. Or should I be using this font or that font for social media? And what about colors? And I get so tied up in, I just don't know how to do all of these things, I don't know how to set up automations and funnels and all this kind of stuff, and it can sometimes paralyze me because I don't know how to do it. So tech is a big one that kind of just gets in the way. So I think those are the three of just knowing why is this showing up? Is this fear? Is it uncertainty which I think is different than fear? Or is it just a lack of knowledge? I don't have what I need to, to be able to move this project forward.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:07] So we talked about why. Now I want to talk about how. So I think the procrastination shows up in different ways for different people. For me, I've actually created some new words around this of how procrastination shows up, because it is a sneaky little thing. It shows up in little ways that you will feel like you're making progress, but you're actually not progressing on the things that are important or that you need to do. So my three words: "procrastilearning". This is my like probably number one favorite way to procrastinate. I say, oh, I don't know enough yet. I should take another course, listen to another podcast, read another book. Sometimes I even think I should go get another degree, pursue another university program. It gets in my way where I think, oh, I just don't have all of the information yet. Procrastilearning. And the way that I know that I've got here is because I have a lot of ideas. I'm ready to get going, and sometimes I'll even start and then one little thing will trip me up.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:13] I'll see something on social media, a podcast will come through my feed, and I'll think, oh, I don't know about that. And next thing I know, I'm down a rabbit hole thinking about, oh, I just need to do one more thing. I need to get one more certification. I need to learn one more piece of this puzzle. This is tricky because the world of learning is so accessible right now, you can go on Google and within a minute you can be signed up for a university program at Harvard. You can go on and listen to a podcast, download a course. Learning is just so available right now, and I love learning. It's one of the things that I do for fun. It's something I do in my business all the time, so I can trick myself into thinking it's actually moving me forward. But so many times I'm relearning the same thing, it's just packaged in a different box, right? So people are saying the same things over and over and over again, they're just saying it in a little bit of a different way. But when I really checked myself, that type of procrastilearning is not moving me forward towards my goals and getting my courses out and doing the thing that I know I need to do.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:23] The next one. "Procrastitasks". So procrastitasks are those little tasks that make us feel busy because we're good at them. We are checking boxes off our list and we get that little dopamine hit because our body is like, oh yeah, we're getting things done. But when you really look at it, you're getting the things done that a) maybe you shouldn't be doing. You could easily outsource those things, automate those things, but they're keeping you feeling like you're actually getting the sense of accomplishment or you're moving things forward. So we are checking things off the list. Now, I'm going to be really honest with you. I had to call myself out on this because when procrastitasks come into my day, all kinds of things annoy me. All of a sudden, I feel like this is the day that I absolutely have to clean out the little cup on the washing machine to make sure that I've really scrubbed all of the extra dishwashing detergent out of there. Or suddenly I'll feel that, oh my goodness, I really need to clean out the fridge or the pantry is driving me nuts. These are things that when I'm actually progressing on something, don't bother me. But when I'm in this stage where I'm almost looking for things to do, all of a sudden these things cannot be left and they need my full attention and they will drive me crazy and they pull me off course. And you know, you'll have your own definition of what those procrastitasks look like for you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:52] And I'll tell you today, consciously, my dishes are sitting in the sink, my floor needs to be swept. And I had to say to myself, eye on the prize. You need to go sit in your office and do your podcast. You need to get it recorded. You need to be marketing your Anchored Leadership Academy program. You need to be getting things out there. Like, I had to have this like, bossy conversation with myself to say, listen, if I was paying someone to do the jobs that are on your list currently and they were spending their time washing dishes and sweeping the floor, you would be angry with them. So get your butt doing what it needs to be doing. Now, I'd love to say that I actually listened. I did make banana bread. Because you know what would happen in the world if the bananas stayed on the counter for another day and I wasn't able to make banana bread. So I did digress for a little bit, made the banana bread, which also gave me that like warm comfort food that then when I had the next conversation with myself about like, you really need to get this done, I felt like it helped. Okay, so procrastitask.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:58] The third. And this is a tricky one because we are kind people who care about others, and we like to help and we like to support. But there's this sticky little area that I call "procrastisupport". And the way this shows up for me is the message I tell myself is everybody else needs me. That, you know, the kids are sick and you need to stay home with them and you need to make them chicken soup or oh, someone from your team asks, hey, can you help me with this thing? I'm not really sure how to do this. And you feel like you're pulled in that direction. And then a friend calls and they decide, oh, I would really like to meet you for lunch. I'm, you know, having kind of a rough week. Any chance you could help me out? Procrastisupport says, I can't do the things that are really important to me - I really am, I am focused on these goals - I really need to get them done but so many other people depend on me that I just don't have time. And sneaky, sneaky secret, my friends. I hear this all the time. All the time from my clients is everyone else needs me, so my goals get put in the back seat. They get put on the back burner because I don't have time. And when you really sit with yourself and you get real, you know the difference. You know when you are getting in your own way and it's a message that you're telling yourself that says this isn't real, it's procrastination. It's just showing up in a way that makes me feel like I'm a kind, caring person and that everyone else needs me. But it kind of shows up as martyrdom, where I'm so important that all of these other things are in there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:46] Okay, so now what do we do about it? I think, number one, you need to expect it. You need to know, okay, when is this showing up? I know for myself, procrastination for me tends to show up towards the end of one of my projects. So I will do all the content, I'll record the video, I'll write the newsletter, I'll do the social media post. It shows up for me at the very end when I go to pull the trigger. When I go to release it or put it out there, this is when I'll get in my own way. And so many things don't ever get released. And I think that there's a lot of people out there. You might be one of them. Do you have like, great ideas that you have like developed a whole business plan or you've created a product or service? Maybe you've recorded a bunch of podcast episodes that are sitting in a Google Drive folder that never went anywhere. I think there's a lot of times where it's pulling the trigger. It's the last little piece of vulnerability. For me, it's the fear of putting something out there that will actually stop me in my tracks and take me right back to getting nothing done. So I'll get something to like the little wheel is almost 90% closed and I just don't close the gap and get it finished. So one of the ways that I know procrastination is coming, and I know it's going to show up in a really fierce way, right at the end.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:11] Now for you, maybe for you, it shows up at the very beginning. Maybe it's hard for you to get started on that big project. Maybe for you it's completely different and it's a matter of the task just feels so big, it kind of feels insurmountable. And if you're a great dreamer or a really good visionary, you can take a seed of an idea and then imagine it as a multi-million dollar project and where it goes and all of the exciting pieces that it holds. And then it gets really overwhelming really fast. So for you, it might be that when you expect procrastination, it's at the beginning, that you just don't get started. So when you know that that's when it shows up for you, and then the second step is to plan, okay, how am I going to deal with it at that beginning stage? So maybe for you, if you're a great visionary, you're a dreamer that can really think of big things, maybe the way that you deal with procrastination at the beginning is by breaking your goals down into really small steps to say, okay, what do I just need to do first? What's the first very small step that I can take towards this bigger goal? And maybe could I connect with someone or have an accountability partner, or do something that allows me to just get started?

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:24] For me, I outsource someone to actually pull the trigger for me. So I do all the content, I write it, and then my VA's job is to schedule the post going out. She does the last stage of the marketing, so it actually gets out into the world. My podcast producer is the one that actually launches these episodes. That puts them on the platform, because I know after I've recorded it and I just, I need to let it go only into a folder, and then they take it from there, because I know the closer it gets to launch date, the more likely I am to pull back and get in my own way again. So I outsource the last stage because I know it's coming, I know when it's coming, and then I plan through just that phase.

[00:20:13] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership Program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:13] Now the next step, if you're procrastitasks, you got to know. Like you just have to ask yourself, put on your list, what are the small tasks that you do that are getting you closer to your goal? And if you get off track a little bit, maybe for you it works really well to do like a time audit. So at the end of your week, you assess what are the things that I've done during the week? What are the tasks that I accomplished that are getting me closer to that big goal that I set? So if it's something health related, say, how many times this week did I walk? How many times this week did I stretch? How many times this week did I go to the gym? How often did I actually get my water in? Or did I drink a pot of coffee every day before noon? And then I had a headache and I wasn't able to go to the gym.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:56] So you can do it both ways. One, you plan your tasks ahead of time and say, these are all the things I need to do to get going, but the other is to bookend at the end of your week and say, okay, what actually got my time? What actually got my attention? And then you retrofit it to say, are these the things that are getting me closer to my goal? So then when you're checking things off your list, you see that connection to this was my priority, this was my goal, and you start to create that circle around it. This can also again help you find those gaps to say, okay, where am I getting in my own way, and where is the exact space and time that I need support to get over that little speed bump of procrastination to keep me moving forward?

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:40] And then the last spot,that really sticky one is that procrastisupport. Everybody else needs me. I have so many demands on my time. I'm so busy, I just don't have time. And this is where you need to have a really serious conversation with yourself. So notice again what's coming up for you that is making you feel like someone else needs you, or that their goals are more important, or that you're needed somewhere else. Your kids, your spouse, your partner, your team members, your friends, whoever it is. And then say to yourself, okay, how am I going to manage this when it shows up? So if someone says to me, hey, can you go for lunch next Tuesday, you're going to say, I'm not taking lunches next week because that puts me off my goal. So I'm just going to say, oh, I can meet, but it'll have to be after 5:00 or it'll have to be on the weekend. If my kid's needing help with their homework, it's okay for me to say, sweetheart, can't help you right now. Give me half hour. I'm doing my stuff that's really important for me. And then I'll come and I'll help you in a half hour. Or is there someone else that might be able to take that over? Is there someone else that can make the meal this week? Can you order out? Is there another way? Can another parent help drive your kids or drop them off or take them to an event? There are supports available, and sometimes, especially if we lean towards that martyrdom a little bit, we feel like we have to do it all.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:08] Learning to ask for help and to admit that, you know what if I've got this big goal, it needs to get my time and attention, this is something that can really kind of trip us up. So I want you to just have supports to say, okay, when this happens, here's how I'm going to manage it. And just trying to squeeze more in or I'll try to do it faster, or I'll try to multitask, or I'll just take my laptop with me while I'm waiting for my kid at dance class, and then I can get those few emails done, well, often that doesn't happen. So you need to kind of protect yourself from yourself and have open conversations with people around how they may be able to support you, especially if you're one of those people that just gets a lot of pride out of supporting others. Give them a chance to help you back so that you can move these big goals forward.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:56] Okay my friends. That was my episode for today around procrastination. A) why it shows up. Two, how it shows up in those procrastitasks, the procrastilearning, and the procrastisupport. And then three, a few ideas on how you might overcome it to really move things forward for the things that are important to you. This podcast is all about creating the life that you crave. It's about bringing your visions, your dreams into your reality. And when your dreams are big, when you have things in your mind and in your heart that you want to move forward, I think it is part of the human condition that procrastination is going to show up. It is going to be at your door because any time that I think the universe gives us an idea that's going to move our life forward, I truly believe that if it was too easy, we wouldn't appreciate it as much. So I think it has to show up with a certain amount of resistance procrastination that we battle through. And I think it gives the message back that we're willing to work for this, that it's important enough to us that we're willing to put in our part, that we're willing to do the work that it takes, to give it the hustle to push through things that are easy. I think sometimes the world of manifestation, abundance, affirmations, they trick us into thinking that we just need to visualize what we want on the other side, and that the path will be easy and that if it's not, it means we're doing something wrong. I don't think that's the case. I think when we have these visions, these ideas that come to us, I think we have to meet them halfway and be able to do the work. I do think it becomes easier when we do it and we push through, but I don't think it's super easy.

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:51] So I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you have ideas that I did not address around how you manage procrastination and how you get over those tricky humps, or how it shows up for you in maybe a different way, and it's not the procrastilearning, or the procrastitasks, or the procrastisupport, maybe you have another one, drop into my DMs, let me know, or hop into my email inbox. I'd love to hear from you because this is a common topic, my friends. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you're listening. And I invite you to like, subscribe to the podcast, take a screenshot, share it with your friends and anyone who is maybe getting in the way of their own dreams. Thanks so much for being here. I'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:28:34] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

27 - Finding your Brand Voice with Copywriter Kim Kiel

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 27 Feb 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Today is an exciting episode because I get to introduce you to a brilliant woman I know you’ll be glad you listened to. Her name is Kim Kiel and she’s a brand voice expert, copy coach, and founder of the boutique copywriting agency Kim Kiel Copy. What Kim has is a true talent for capturing a client’s voice and writing elegant and persuasive copy. Today she shares insight on how to write great copy and how it can forge connections with your client base.

When we talk about copywriting, Kim first differentiates between “copywriting” and “copyrighting”. Copy refers to the words we use to sell our products or services. And a copywriter is someone who writes that copy. Kim came to copywriting through studying environmental science with a minor in communications and then working in fundraising for the nonprofit sector. She likes applying her skills to something that benefits others. Eventually, she translated that talent for writing into her own business so her abilities could assist other business owners in sharing their unique talents with a wider circle of people.

Our discussion covers so much life-changing insight. Kim reflects on why it’s important to move away from strictly formal writing into something more casual that can build a connection. She talks about how to think about what a brand voice is, how to find yours, how to get past overthinking what to write, and why great copy, like so much in business, is about forging relationships. There is so much about Kim’s advice that touches and inspires me because she gets to the heart of what small business is about. She understands why women’s voices, in particular, need to be heard and how to say what we’re thinking.

Key Moments

01:54 What is copy and what does it do?

06:22 Why Kim believes sales is actually about service and connection

07:58 How to find your brand voice

Assess how you speak in person and want to be heard in writing
How can we make our message stand out among 4000 other marketing messages?
Why copywriting prompts are so useful in getting your message out

About Kim Kiel:

Kim is a mom of 2 Fortnight experts and wife to a gentleman who is her biggest cheerleader. Through the pandemic, they tried to become the world’s best family of ping-pong players (and failed).

For 15+ years, Kim has used words to build community, create social change and raise millions for charities and small businesses.

Today, she primarily works with mission-driven businesses and female consultants, coaches and changemakers. Her true purpose is amplifying the voices of female leaders and changemakers so they can achieve more impact (and revenue) and still have time to travel, hang out with the kiddos, or get cozy with Brené Brown’s newest book. Kim has a knack for instantly capturing her clients' voices.

When combined with customer research, persuasion and sales psychology, the result is elegant copy that’s clear, delightful and conversion-optimized.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Contact Kim Kiel:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Welcome. I'm so glad you're here. I want to introduce you to a brilliant woman this week. Her name is Kim Kiel. She is a brand voice expert, copy coach, and founder of the boutique copywriting agency Kim Kiel Copy. With 17 plus years of writing multi six figure campaigns for small businesses and nonprofits, Kim helps Gen X entrepreneurs and experts share their gifts and positive impact with the world. She has a knack for instantly capturing a client's voice and writing elegantly persuasive copy. When she's not nerding out on sales psychology in her home of Edmonton, Alberta, you can find her tromping through the Canadian wilderness with her kids or continuing her quest to find her favorite whiskey. To find out more about Kim and copywriting, tune in to her podcast, Ill Communication, on your favorite player or at www.KimKiel.com/podcast. Welcome, Kim. I'm so glad to have you.

Kim Kiel: [00:01:35] Hey, Kari. Glad to be here.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:38] All right. So I want to start off by just dispelling any myths, because I often get asked when I refer to copy, people ask me what is copy anyway? Can you give us kind of just our layman's version? What is copy?

Kim Kiel: [00:01:54] Copy is the words you write to sell, promote or market your business. A lot of times people hear the word copywriting and they think of the term copyright as in like trademarking. And that's completely different. Copywriting is spelled with a W in the middle there, and it is about the words we write to sell our services. It comes from the advertising world. If you think of what the guys in Mad Men did, they were writing copy and copy just refers to the words that are selling a product.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:28] All right. That just simplifies it so much. Like we tend to overcomplicate things, don't we?

Kim Kiel: [00:02:33] Yeah.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:33] So how did you get to this career? What got you here?

Kim Kiel: [00:02:37] A long and winding road, as most of us in our entrepreneurship journeys travel. I have a degree in science and communications. I studied environmental science. I was on a mission to save the planet. And way back then, I realized that we are never going to solve the climate crisis and the environmental problems if we can't talk about them in a way that would make people understand what the heck is going on. And when I studied environmental science at university, I was only required to take a half a year of English or communication, like half a year in the full four years, which I thought was ludicrous. So I actually got special permission to do a minor or specialization in communications, and that really allowed me to get more into interpersonal communications, nonfiction writing, writing in general, and every career and job I had after graduation involved some kind of public outreach, education, communication. Eventually it got into fundraising, because I worked a lot in the nonprofit sector, and I got into fundraising, and I really enjoyed fundraising because I was able to write in a way that was very, very persuasive. But for something so mission driven, like, you know, protecting the arts or protecting the environment and learning how to walk that balance of encouraging someone to connect with their heart and then open their wallet, it was really fun to write that kind of copy. Flash forward to when I had a couple of little kids, I was in my mid 40s and just tired of that grind of commuting day in, day out and juggling child care like it's just, it's just a mess. That phase of life is just a mess. And I needed to change things up. So I actually quote/unquote quit my day job and I started work as a freelancer/consultant/subcontractor, and I was able to turn this love of fundraising into becoming a copywriter. So a lot of the similarities between writing fundraising copy are very similar to how you write advertising copy, how you write sales copy, the techniques are the same. And so once I sort of explored this whole online business world, I discovered this field of copywriting, and I knew it would be, I'd be able to transfer my skills and that's basically what I've done.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:10] You said something that really got my interest, and I want to kind of circle back to it, because I think as many of us who went into small business, we did it because we had a passion for the service or what we believed in, like you found with environmental science. And I think when we hear the word marketing and advertising, I think there's this myth out there that says, well, we're trying to convince people to spend money on things they don't need. And what I just heard in your description is it wasn't about that at all for you. It was about, let's make this thing that is so important, like climate change and fundraising and things that need our attention and our dollars, that it's not about trying to sell something to people that they don't need. It's about really helping them understand more about what we believe in and why it's important, and creating a sense of connection. And that, it feels to me almost like the opposite of what I would believe the traditional path of marketing and advertising is. It's really about connection. That's what I heard as you kind of describe that.

Kim Kiel: [00:06:22] I have a fundamental belief that all sales is service, and the way we buy from each other is through relationship and through connection. So whether you are a charity looking for people to join your mission or you're a business owner who is helping other business owners elevate their CEO business skills, that is a service and that is helping create a ripple effect and impact in that person's life. And then what is the impact that those people are making in their communities? What difference is that making? So for me, it's really all about connection, relationship, and that's at the very, very beginning of any kind of a sales conversation.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:06] Love it. Which kind of guides me to my next thought about so if you're working for all of these different companies who have different passion, different services, different things that they're selling, I think one of your - I'm going to say your super skills - like your talent, is being able to help people identify their brand voice. Can you talk to us a little bit more about what is a brand voice, first off, and how is it different than, you know, kind of a sales voice and how does it differentiate between different businesses and different industries?

Kim Kiel: [00:07:41] That is a great question, but I think the question before it is, why is it so hard for us to talk about ourselves? Why is it so hard for us to quote/unquote, market or promote ourselves? And it's because we don't know how to trust our own voice. We don't know how to tap into our voice. And especially for people who are, you know, over 40, we have been trained on a certain kind of business writing that is very formal, very boring, and we look in this online sphere and the examples that we see are either like, hey there, buy this, click here, like really fast, super slick marketing language or we see like people drop an F bombs and like being real bad, you know, just like swearing, or we see really cutesy like the young influencer girl kind of like girlboss vibe, and if we don't see ourselves in any of that kind of voice, we will think like, there's no place for me. Nobody wants to hear my voice. But the opposite is true. We need to hear everyone's unique voice. And so your brand voice is the unique personality that you have. It is your verbal identity. So in the same way that when you have a business, you probably work with a designer to create a logo, to have font color, or colors and font styles, you know what your brand looks like, but what does your brand sound like? And a lot of us don't spend enough time thinking about that. But if you just spend a little bit of time, you can actually distill out and work through like, what is my brand voice? What are my values? How do I want to show up in the world? How do I want to talk? And I think at the very, very basis of it all is just write the way that you talk. So the same way that you and I are having a conversation right now would be very similar to if I was going to actually write out a dialogue. That's how it would sound. So how would you explain verbally to someone? When you're on a sales call what do you say? How do you say it? Those are the words and the tone and the conversation that you should use in your emails, on your website, in some of your marketing materials. So that in a nutshell is what brand voice is.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:03] I am a big reader of your newsletter, and every time I read your newsletter, I can hear your voice. I can hear your tone, I can hear your expressions, I can hear your humor. And I think when you say like, write like you speak, and a lot of us Gen Xers, you know, we weren't taught to do that. If anything, you know, when we were writing for school or we were writing for a project or a university assignment, our goal was to not sound like ourselves. We wanted to sound way smarter. And, you know, like we had so many more things going on. And which I think brings us to the idea of jargon and how often we will write for what we think people want to hear, and we want to sound intelligent, or we want to sound a certain way, and when it doesn't match, or we just end up confusing our audience completely. So when you're working with, let's say a new client - so I always like to kind of get a little bit of the back story - when you're working with a new client and maybe you're reading their newsletters or you're reading their website copy and you're giving reviews, what are some of the biggest mistakes that you see, particularly Gen X making, in those types of formats? Like what are you seeing?

Kim Kiel: [00:11:20] I mean, I think you touched on it, that use of jargon and sort of being really formal in the language is the two things that really pop out to me. So we might say things and it comes to us so naturally because especially we have been working, we've been in careers for 20 years. So we have this depth of experience, this breadth of knowledge, and it's almost like the curse of knowledge because we'll think it's so obvious. Like, well, I want to help empower you to find the solutions in your life. That's what we might write, right? Especially if you're in a coaching sphere. But what does that even mean? What does empowering me to, you know, boost my life? Nobody has ever really said that. Like, your clients and customers don't talk that way. So it's that sense of jargon. But it's also that formality, because we have been writing for two decades in that very traditional business environment. It's things like how we might invite the next step might be I would be very delighted to book a call with you so at your first convenience, click here. Like that's not how you talk. If you're saying this to a girlfriend, you would say, hey, you want to hang out? Great, let's find a time to chat. So it's just thinking of your audience as that friend. How would you talk to that friend, and how do you make it personal and connect? And if you're kind of not sure if you're hitting the right tone, read it out loud. Do you actually talk that way? And would you say it like that if you were meeting someone, just, you know, in the checkout at the grocery store? That's a really good gauge for whether you're trending a bit too formal and could back off on the formality a little bit.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:07] Would you say that's the case as well, in more of a professional setting? Like I think when people are thinking, oh, well, I'm reaching out to corporate or I'm reaching out to another business owner, do we still lean to the side of being more casual?

Kim Kiel: [00:13:23] I think you do. I think there is a fine line. If you're B2B and you're working with other corporations, we have a belief that we need to drop all this jargon and show that we know what we're talking about. But the reality is, the person who is reading that email, who is reading that pitch, who is reading your website, it's a human being. And humans connect human to human. And we are hit by 4000 marketing messages per day. So the simpler, the more concise, the more direct, and the more enjoyable you can make your writing, the more likely you are to have more conversions, have more sales, and even there's a bunch of studies that prove that's true.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:11] Earlier on, you talked about, you know, your image, your pictures, what your colors are, your font, all of that. And I think this idea of vulnerability, of showing up that you don't have, you know, such filtered images and that you're not completely put together when you're on camera and that you're shooting videos or reels kind of on the fly. Is this the same? I feel like there's a real parallel universe here with it's not just about your pictures, it's not just about your Instagram stories, it's also about your writing that don't always write with such a formal approach that people feel like you're existing in a different dimension that they are, that you're just connecting with them as human beings, as people, even though they might have a really fancy title or a really big job.

Kim Kiel: [00:15:02] You know what? I hadn't thought about it that way before, but I think you're right in that the content that's converting right now, online, visually is the behind the scenes, it's the more casual, personal stuff. And I think that there's a place for that as well in your writing for sure.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:21] I think it, for me, feels more approachable, a little bit more down to earth, I guess.

Kim Kiel: [00:15:27] Again, we are buying human to human, even if I'm making a decision for my corporation or for my team, I am still going to be making a purchase decision from a human to a human. And that ability to connect makes it easier for me to know, like, and trust you, and then feel safe to make that purchase. Also, how are you going to stand out in this sea of competitors? How are you going to stand out in these 4000 marketing messages per day if it's not with your unique spin, your values and your voice? If you are very safe and bland and vanilla, you are not going to stand out. Nobody is going to pay attention to that message. So putting your unique voice in there, your little quirks, your little isms, dropping a GIF from maybe your favorite TV show. If you watched the SuperBowl on the weekend, like referencing things that are happening in everyone's day to day really helps create that personal human connection.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:29] I think, too, one of the things that you do exceptionally well, whether it's the little GIF or you always add what I would say is like this little punctuation of joy to your emails, like it's always just a fun little thing, or, hey, I was thinking about this, or hey, I found a new recipe for, you know, a nonalcoholic cocktail that you can enjoy on the patio. Like you always have this just little element of surprise or something that we didn't expect, which just gives us a little bit of delight. And I love that. And I think that's how, that's how I know that I was drawn to you way back when is you would include these things about being a Gen X entrepreneur and some of the strange things that we've experienced through, you know, the 80s and 90s and what that was like. And instantly, although it had nothing really to do formally with copywriting or what I was looking for, all of a sudden I had that experience of, you know, she also was a great fan of hip hop in the 90s and, you know, or really also enjoys Schitt's Creek, right? And can enjoy the humor in that. And I think it does, it gives that kind of a more personal touch. And we just do, we feel this instant connection. So yeah, thank you for sharing that.

Kim Kiel: [00:17:39] Oh, thanks for saying that. I think what you've also brought up there touches on something else. A lot of people say, I don't know how to start an email list because I won't be consistent. What will I talk about? How will I know what to share? How can I keep up with that? And it is, it doesn't always have to be educational. You don't always have to be talking about your area of expertise. You can infuse some of those moments of delight and joy and behind the scenes of like your favorite recipe or a movie you just watched, or a book that you read and or a trip you took with your kids. Because again, that is furthering that know, like, and trust journey with you. So even if you're not in a direct moment of asking someone to buy from you or invest in your services, they're coming along, they're coming closer and they're warmer, so that when you do have a sales moment, they're ready to buy.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:35] Absolutely. So the next thing I wanted to chat a little bit about is one of the things that you alluded to it when you said, you know, I don't know if I want to start an email list because I have to stay consistent. And we've heard so much about that, whether it's social media and newsletter, that we have to stay connected to our audience. But I think the most popular thing that people say is, I sit down to write and then I just don't know what to write, or I don't know how to put it all together. Like sometimes I get an idea in my own head, I'll write a sentence, and then it just doesn't really seem to unfold the way I think it should. Do you have some tips or tricks? If we are doing this copywriting for ourselves what do we do when we just get so stuck?

Kim Kiel: [00:19:25] I mean, even for a quote/unquote professional copywriter like myself, like I get stuck with that too. And I have learned over time to sort of trust those little ideas or inspiration that pop in and to act on them right away. So that is something that has worked for me, is if I get an idea, oh, that might make a good email or oh, that might make a good social post. I don't talk myself out of it. I don't edit myself. I just sit down and write it out and without overthinking or over correcting or being too perfectionistic, then I just send it. So I've had to really just train myself to get that information out as fast as I can, because I have the ability to talk myself out of stuff all the time and to be very slow. If you are sort of like, oh, I know I should say something, but I don't know how to say it, I really love a couple of things that have helped me get out of that, like stuckness, and one is a writing prompt, and these are just little formulas for something that, to inspire you, it's like a journal prompt like, oh, what should you write in your journal today? Same thing. You can have writing prompts that give you an idea for what you should write about that week, or in your next email or in your social post. And it may or may not be the thing you actually end up writing about, but it might inspire that further idea. So using writing prompts, there is no shame in using a writing prompt to inspire your next email. And I love using also copywriting formulas. And copywriting formulas are these little recipes that were developed over the last several decades, primarily in the advertising industry, but you can use them to help organize your thoughts on the page. So there's a couple of copywriting formulas, I can share a couple of them, if you think you want me to share those with you?

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:28] I think my audience would love that.

Kim Kiel: [00:21:30] Sure. So it would be if you're going to sit down and write an announcement email, you're going to talk about a workshop that you're going to be hosting in the next couple of weeks. A great formula for that is AIDA: Attention, Interest, Desire, Action. So the start, the first sentence of your email, you want to grab attention, you want to hook your reader. You want to say something provocative or like very exciting. Then the next few sentences you're going to generate interest about what that offer is. Then the next section is you're building desire for the outcomes of what's going to happen at that workshop. And then the final section is action. That's where you give your call to action. You say, click here to register. There's limited seats, buy now. So it's just being able to organize that, all that mess of words that we have in our head, into that sort of sequential order that I think really helps create a bit of constraint. And within that constraint, you can actually be more creative and write clearer, more compelling copy because you're sticking to that formula. There's several other copywriting formulas. I share lots of them on my podcast. So you're welcome to to go back and check those out as well.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:54] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. 'My name is Gillian and I just finished the anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success.' In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:24:55] And I want to highlight. Definitely go listen to Kim's podcast. We're going to put the link in the show notes as well. But she is so gracious on her podcast with giving out formulas and sharing these copywriting formulas so that if you're writing your own copy, you can kind of follow the recipe. And I know for myself, it's really one of my kind of bad habits, was I would get so wordy. And I would put too much in an email. Then I went back the other way and I cut out so much that then it didn't make sense anymore and it had no flow. So it's, you know, finding that rhythm. And I think when you talked about, I call it, you know, the muse, that idea of trusting the muse when an idea comes to you, I kind of, you know, a little woo-woo, I feel like ideas are like floating around in the universe and when they come to you, it's a gift. They're stopping in, seeing if you want to do anything with them, seeing if you want to hang out, and if you move on that idea, then it becomes yours. And you have this collaborative partnership with the idea. But I truly believe if you don't grab on to it, it's like the idea just drifts away and finds someone else's mind to work through. And it sounds like you've really learned over time to appreciate that gift as it comes. Did you always have that or has that gotten easier over time?

Kim Kiel: [00:26:13] It's definitely gotten easier over the time. Easier over the time. When I first started my business, I was like the world's worst copywriter because I didn't practice what I preach. I would write great copy for all my clients, I would give them the strategy, but I didn't have my own email list. I wasn't emailing. Like I was stuck in that same mindset gobbledygook, overthinking that a lot of business owners go through. And when I finally gave myself permission to just write the dang thing, like whatever came to my mind, I'm just going to write it, not overthink it, I was very inconsistent in the beginning. I'd be like, an idea came, I'd send an email. Maybe it would be another couple of weeks before I would send another email. I wasn't consistent, but I felt like I was at least honing in on the quality and developing that muscle. And like anything we do, it takes practice. And the more you practice, the easier it gets, the faster it gets, the better it gets. So that's, I am 100% in agreement with you that ideas come to you for a reason, and it's almost your obligation to share that idea.

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:26] The other thing that kind of just popped out at me is you talked about consistency and how when things first, you know, when you first started doing your email, that you would write it when you had an idea. And I want to take it right back to some of your first points where you said, you know, our role in service is that we are bringing something of value to our audience. It's a relationship. And that as you allow people to get to know you a little bit, they get to know your personality and your humor, and we're going to call that a brand voice. But really, it's just like we're getting to know each other, which is a relationship. And if the only time you ever show up in someone's inbox is when you need something, it's like the friend who the only time they ever show up at your door is when they want to borrow your lawn mower. Right? It's kind of rude. And that by just kind of consistently showing up, even if it's kind of a, hey, I was thinking about you email, or hey, I saw a cool movie yesterday, or hey, what did you think about the SuperBowl? What it does is it creates that sense of continuity, that there's that relationship, that we don't just connect when we have something to sell or when we have something that we need, but we're really building that relationship.

Kim Kiel: [00:28:38] I think it's underappreciated how important that is to building your business, because it's not about ads and funnels and landing pages. It's about the people that you do business with on a 1 to 1 basis, especially for a lot of us who run smaller boutique businesses, agencies or small small businesses, like we're never going to be on the level of like a Marie Forleo or an Amy Porterfield. We're never going to have millions of followers. So what is our secret sauce? Well, we are the secret sauce. It's that creating that personal connection and then that personal transformation and being of service to those people. And I mean, aren't you sick of just hearing the same old voices all the time, Kari? Like, wouldn't you love to hear more wisdom from women? We've raised kids, we've helped elder care, we've been in these corporate businesses for 20 years, and now we have something else to contribute to the conversation that hasn't really been heard before. So like my sub-mission is to just hear more voices from women who are in middle stages of life because we are underrepresented, and yet we are the backbone of what is going on in society today.

Kari Lotzien: [00:29:59] Uh, I'm getting emotional, honestly. Because what you're saying is hitting me really hard. I mean, I started my business back when I was in my early 20s. My gosh, didn't have a clue, you know, like, I, every business owner that I saw who was successful was a white male with a lot of money, who had a wife that stayed home and looked after the kids and the family and, you know, just displayed him. I had nothing to follow. And I feel this real sense of responsibility right now that, you know, I'm coming into my daughter is, you know, just coming into her 20s. My son's already 24. And there's this feeling like, hang on a second, the world has changed so much since I was that age. I don't think we've done a lot of favors because I feel like my generation or our generation came in and went, we can own a business, raise the kids, make the muffins for school, volunteer, do the charity work, we're going to do it all. And we created this image that you just put the cape on and keep going. You know, and when you're going to have your breakdown and you're going to have your fall apart moments, you do that in the bathroom away from everyone else, and you put your cape back on, you come out, plant a smile, and away you go again. But I think we learned a lot along the way to go hang on a second. Like, it doesn't have to be like this. And to share it so that women don't look at it and go, I don't want to do what you did, because that really didn't look very fun. Right? It didn't look fun to try and be everything to everyone all the time. But I think that sense of, you know, giving back and being real about it and saying, you know, it doesn't have to be like that. And you talked about, you know, the Amy Porterfields and Jenna Kutcher and these women who have really big audiences. And I think that I feel like you're giving yourself a little bit of disservice by saying, you know, we're never going to have audiences like that, because I know for myself that's that same vulnerability is we're starting to hear that in their voices as well, who do have millions of followers. And I think that there's a real gap in we didn't, you know, I'm having kind of an odd little moment, but do you remember the Secret commercial? 'Never let them see you sweat'? Like that was my mantra for a lot of years. Like, just make it all look good on the outside, right? And I think with this wisdom that comes into our 40s, there's a responsibility to go, no, no, here's how it really is.

Kari Lotzien: [00:32:37] And to share that, I think there's a gap. Like we were so busy trying to say we could do it all that we forgot to say, with help, we can't do it alone, we need to be collaborative, we need to be in relationship. We need to show, you know, some softness and not always try to put on the perfect face. Any other thoughts you want to share about kind of your evolution as a businesswoman, going from being in a charitable organization, and again, I'm going to highlight because this is something I hope you're comfortable with, I think you are, when I hear Kim speak, I often, you know, she says like small boutique. Like she plays small. But I also know that you converted your annual salary to your monthly salary when you went on your own. Like you are not small potatoes, my friend. I don't want us to play small. I want us to really showcase like people like Kim are doing amazing things in the world, and they're doing it their way. And I want to really give credit to that. So when you think of Gen X, women who are in the business who are saying like, oh, I'm just, you know, a small thing, what would be the advice you would have to them in the journey you've traveled in developing yourself as an entrepreneur?

Kim Kiel: [00:34:04] I think part of - thank you for saying that, first of all - but I think that part of what has helped me have a really good amount of success is the fact that I had lived a life before I started my business, and I knew enough of myself. Still don't have it figured all out, but you know, when you're faced with in online business, there's like all these different strategies and you should do it this way and you should do it that way, and you should do it this way. For me to have the presence of mind to sort of pick and choose what I like of those strategies and create my own way forward that might use the best practices from strategy A and the best practices from strategy C, but just to create my own path. So one of the ways that I've really grown my business is through what I call like this like lazy marketing or lazy launching where I'm not trying to like, grow my list by thousands of people at a time. I'm not trying to be the most famous, but what I do want to do is be of service to a small, intimate group of people. And so I've hosted these monthly marketing moments.

Kim Kiel: [00:35:17] I open my virtual doors, I have a workshop, I have a master class, people come and hang out with me, and from there I enroll them into, make an invitation if they want to take it, great. If not, no big deal. But it's just sort of that like more of a low key way of growing my business that has really, really worked for me. The other thing that has really worked for me is getting into the room where my client is. So I've paid to join masterminds, group coaching programs, where I am building personal relationships with the women in that room so that either they will hire me when they need a copywriter, or if they know somebody who needs a copywriter, they're more apt to hire me. So I've been very strategic about joining the right communities for that purpose, also to get the benefit of the coaching experience. But I think particularly when you're a service provider like me, graphic designer, copywriter, we have a tendency to hang out in rooms with other graphic designers and copywriters, and we are all about like learning how to be a better copywriter. And so when I compare my trajectory to some of the other copywriters, I've had some more easy and repeatable success, I think because I've spent time in other rooms where there's other diverse business owners.

Kim Kiel: [00:36:41] So, you know, that networking piece I think has been really important. And when I say that I turned my annual salary into my monthly salary, you know, I was working in nonprofit, I was working part time. So for just a little bit of context, my annual salary wasn't awesome. But when I became a entrepreneur, I was able, you know, when you're working in charity, I don't know if you've ever worked in charity, Kari, but for me, like you become so impassioned about it, you give so much of your time, you work over time and like, I'm so glad I did all of that. But there was no financial ROI for me. Whereas now I can still give that same level of energy, same level of passion, but it's towards revenue generating opportunities that are creating freedom for me as a business owner. So I'm still giving the same passion. I'm still believing that people need to change the world and change the world for the better, but I've just been able to make that a little bit more lucrative for myself.

Kari Lotzien: [00:37:51] Ah, I hear so many loops in that. One, I think that when we find our passion, when we find the thing that we're good at and we align with the right people and we truly provide service and we are financially rewarded for that, it gives us the opportunity as women to give back to the things that we believe in. This is how we create stronger charities and how we change our communities is we can give back. So I think that's something that's really sometimes a great motivator for women who often under-charge what they're worth because they feel that they want to just be affordable and accessible to people. And I think, okay, but if you've, if you've got the knowledge, you've got the experience, you've got the skill set and you charge what you're worth, you can give back in so many bigger ways. That's pretty cool.

Kim Kiel: [00:38:43] And that is such a journey. That is such a mindset leap that I had to make when I left the nonprofit sector into the quote/unquote for profit sector to get over that. Oh, I feel bad about charging. And I know there's a lot of people in the spiritual and healing communities who also have that. Oh, but this, I shouldn't be charging for this because everyone should have access to this. And the way that I've managed to get myself around that is by realizing there are clients who will pay for very good work, and they're willing to pay a good amount for that premium work. And that freedom, that financial freedom allows me to produce a podcast where I am delivering free value. So I am creating opportunities. I do host free workshops where people who maybe can't afford to work with me can still come and learn from me and have that experience. So I am able to do both. But I get paid for my services because I'm worth it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:39:45] Yay! You know, it's so true and I really did, I just wanted to showcase that. And I think, you know, the audience can see you're so generous in so many different ways with your podcast, with your, you know, monthly marketing opportunities, that there's so many ways that people can work with you who may not have the ability to hire a professional copywriter. But getting in the room, the value is there. Like it's beautiful. The other thing I want to point out and just kind of come back to it, is I think networking has also gotten a bad rap because we have been involved in different situations where you go to a marketing event and you feel like you're just being sold to constantly. That's not what marketing is. Marketing or networking, sorry, is building relationships. It's building relationships with people who work with similar clientele that you do, who may know similar opportunities that are available in the field but may not be in competition with you. And sometimes they even are. Like, I've had brilliant referral partnerships with people who are also business and leadership coaches and who do similar things that I do, but they do them for a different group of people, or they work in a different location, or, I mean, there's so many different opportunities.

Kari Lotzien: [00:41:04] And I think what I hear from you over and over and over again, which is interesting because that was not where I thought the conversation was going today, but it's really about how many different ways can we form relationships? How many different ways can we be of service so that if one of your clients needs a service that you don't offer, you have someone that you truly have a relationship with that you believe in, you know they do great work, and you can pass that customer on. It's a win win. The customer feels so supported because they feel like they've been, you know, kind of handed over to someone so gently. And the person that you're doing business with, that you've been involved in these mastermind sessions with, also feels so grateful that you understand their business and you can bring them their ideal customers and we build together. And I think this is something that you do so beautifully. It's something I believe in, in building communities of businesses and clients so that we kind of rise together.

Kim Kiel: [00:42:04] Mhm. I love that. And I think also after the bubble of the pandemic when everyone got online and there was a lot of people putting courses out there and people buying online trainings that didn't deliver. So collectively we are more sophisticated buyers. We have been burned too often. And the way you allow people to know you're the real deal is by building that long term relationship, which is exactly what you just, yeah, just to sort of underscore what you said there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:42:37] So good. I want to wrap up our conversation today by asking, I ask all of my guests, how do you personally stay anchored? So when there's so many things going on in your world, you've got kids, you've got a business, you've got so many things that you believe in and support. You're doing masterminds and learning and growing. How do you find that place of staying centered and calm? What I call anchored.

Kim Kiel: [00:43:04] Well, I would say it's probably something that I could do better. I'm probably not the best at staying anchored. There's a few things that I do love doing. One is I love walking in nature and having that quiet time to commune with my own thoughts, or to just like, chill out in nature. That is so helpful to me. And I also have a squad of business besties who, when I am doubting myself, when I'm suffering from comparison itis when I'm overwhelmed by what's going on in my family life, I can reach out to them and they can either just listen, or they can give me the little bit of cheerleading that I need and remind me, you know, you're pretty awesome at what you're doing. Like keep going. What's the easiest way forward? Like, for example, I was, I'm overthinking this, wanting to maybe host a local event and I'm overthinking it. And then my assistant Hannah was like, what's the easiest way we could do this? Could you just reach out to five people and see if they want to hang out with you and then go from there? And I'm like, well, yes, I could do that. So, you know, just having that, those people around you who get your vibe and who can call you back to that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:44:29] I am taking that for one of my sticky notes. So I have sticky notes that try to keep me on track. But what is the easiest way that you could do this? Like, I can definitely tell you the most complicated, if you'd like to know that, of how I could make things really hard and almost insurmountable. But what a gift. What a gift to have that sense of community. And I'm with you on the nature thing, my friend. That's, we've had such a gift here in Alberta this year that we've had kind of a mild winter, so we haven't had to freeze our faces off when we go outside. So we've had this little bonus. I want to thank you so much for being here and for offering such value to my listeners. I want to encourage everyone. The link will be in the show notes, but definitely go over and find Ill Communication, the podcast where Kim gives away just value every single week when you are feeling stuck and when you're feeling overwhelmed, those writing prompts and those copywriting formulas where you can start to get stronger in your communication so that you can be more consistent in your writing, you can find that voice that connects with people. She is absolutely brilliant. My hope is that I'm just introducing you to someone that I value so much in my own business and in the relationships that we've established, and that you will go on and make those connections and introduce other people to Kim as well, because what she is doing is just of huge value and as you can see, aligns with that sense of building community, supporting each other, supporting Gen X women in business, and continuing that legacy into our next generation so that it doesn't have to be so hard as we keep going with all of this. So thank you so much for being here, Kim. I value your time so much. Thanks so much.

Kim Kiel: [00:46:23] Kari, thanks for having me. And yeah, it's just nice to hang out with you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:46:27] All right. And is there anything else that you want to share? Do you have a marketing masterclass coming up or where would people find that information? Where's the best places to connect with you other than your podcast?

Kim Kiel: [00:46:38] Yeah. You know, the best way to stay connected with me is by subscribing to my newsletter. And you could do that at KimKiel.com/newsletter. I also do have a brand voice workbook and mini audio series. Since we talked quite a bit about brand voice, I'll share the link with you, Kari, and you can put it in the show notes, but that's also a great resource for anyone who's maybe struggling to figure out how to write like myself.

Kari Lotzien: [00:47:09] Fantastic. Thank you so much. I know that my audience will appreciate that. All right. Thank you so much for being here. We will see you next week. And if you haven't liked and subscribed to the podcast, be sure to click on those three little dots. Take a screenshot of this episode, share it with your friends who are also trying to figure out how to write copy for their business and how to build their communities. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:47:32] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

26 - I Thought I Would be Further by Now

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 20 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000

“How many times have you said to yourself, I just thought I’d be further by now?”

That’s the question that this episode examines. Maybe you thought you’d be at a different financial stage by now or maybe you imagined you’d have a much larger team. But somehow you’re not feeling that you’re at the place you want to be or getting the results you want to get. There’s something important I want you to do when those doubts take hold: pause and realize how much you’ve accomplished to get to this point.

I had this question rise for me when I reached my 250th workout. The gym I go to celebrates that, they take a picture and give you a prize, but the first thing I thought when I saw the picture was “I thought I’d look different by now”. As much as I hated having that thought, it happened. But the instructor taking the photo introduced me to the statistics that only 12% of people in Canada have a gym membership and only 1% use the membership to get to where I was that day. I was in an elite group. Now let’s apply that to your business.

I’ll share small business statistics with you that will show you exactly how much you’ve accomplished just by still being here, by being in business, by surviving the last four years with your business thriving. And I’ll ask you to pause right during the episode to write down how far you’ve come. To combat the feeling that you haven’t done enough, you need to give credit to the resilience you have that’s brought you this far. How much have you overcome? Then ask yourself, what keeps you going? What is it that drives you forward? What do you want to learn to help you progress into the future? These are the things we’ll tackle together today.

Key Moments

03:24 Statistics on how many small businesses fail in their first, second, and third years

06:04 How to pause, think about your accomplishments this far, and write them out

15:12 Questions to consider about what keeps you going and what drives you

Consider the statistics on small businesses and how much they contribute to hiring overall
Have you found a community, a camaraderie, in a group of people with similar goals?
How the Anchored Leadership Program can take you through the next phase: leadership hurdles

Resources mentioned in this episode:

WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY
Reference: Stats on how many businesses appear and disappear each year
Reference: Small Business Statistics In Canada

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. How many times have you said to yourself, I just thought I'd be further by now? Whether that's related to your business and thinking that you would be at a different stage of revenue by now, or that maybe you would have your team developed to a bigger place by now, or maybe it's related to that New Year's resolution that you made at the beginning of this year and now that we're getting closer to the end of February, you're feeling I just am not seeing the results that I thought I would have. Well, I'm with you, my friends. I just celebrated my 250th workout at my gym, and this is a big deal for a lot of people, that finding a place of consistency and showing up and doing that over an extended period of time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:25] But here's the thing. When my gym came to me and they give you a little prize and they take a picture and they do a social media post, at first glance, when I looked at that picture, my immediate thought was, I thought I'd look different by now. Now I'm all about body positivity and I'm all about being self-accepting. And I keep telling myself, you know, it's not about the way I look, it's just that I want to be stronger and I want to age better, and I don't want my joints to hurt, and I want to be able to enjoy my life for many more decades. But that little voice of I thought I'd be farther by now kicked in so fast, and it just immediately made me feel a bit ashamed and less than. But here's what's pretty cool. The instructor that was taking the picture that day, I don't know if she saw it on my face or what came over her, but she looked at me and she said, welcome to the 1%. Pause, and I'm like, what? She said, welcome to the 1%. She said, 12% of people in Canada have a gym membership. 1% actually use them consistently over time and are where you are right now. And that made me step back a bit and go, why are you being so nasty to yourself? Because suddenly I felt like the group of women that I was comparing myself with in that gym, who have also been consistent all the way through, I was comparing myself to a very elite group of people, that these were also the one percenters who were showing up consistently, who were taking control of their health and actually doing the work that it takes to change their health. And this is what I want to apply to your business and your life today.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:17] Let's dive in. And I wanted to start off, I know you've heard these stats but I want to bring them back to you again. In Canada, which is where I'm living, in 2018, they did a study and 20.6% of businesses failed in their first year. Didn't get past that 365 days of business. This raised to 31% in their second year. And many of us have heard the statistic that 48% of businesses, almost half of businesses, don't make it past their fifth year. Here's another maybe not so great statistic. But between 2015 and 2019, in Canada, just over 100,000 businesses were started and in that same period - so that's 100,000 per year, just over 100,000 per year - and in that same time frame, about just over 90,000 per year disappeared. Now, this might make you feel like, my gosh, why do I even throw my hat in the world of business when it sounds like it's just so hard to succeed? But here's the thing.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:26] Most of my clients have made it past those first few years in business. You found something that works. You have the grit. You've done the work. Just like me, showing up at the gym on those hard days where I didn't feel like it, where I was tired, where the voice was in my head, where I just didn't want to go anymore, and I thought it would be so much easier. I know that if you have been in business for more than that 365 days, you've thought at least 100 times it would just be easier to go work for someone else, to collect a paycheck, not have all the stress. But you've done it, you faced it, and you have overcome the challenges that most business or that many business owners don't in those first few years. And here's why it's important. Because I can almost hear you telling yourself, well, I'm a small business and I only employ a few people. Like I'm not really all the way into entrepreneur world. I don't have a big corporation with, you know, 700 employees. But here's what is also really interesting to me: did you know that 74%, 74% of Canadian businesses have under ten employees? And small business makes up in hiring 67% of our workforce. This is really important, the work that you're doing in your small business, if you have a couple of employees or you have under ten employees and you're telling yourself that this is really no big deal, I'm kind of a small fish in a big pond. No you're not.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:04] I want you to just pause and say, if you have made it through that really challenging start up phase of business, if you have found the grit that it takes to have a few employees and to keep going, you have joined an elite group of people who are doing incredible work that is really important in feeding our communities, our overall performance in how we are surviving, how our economy is looking. This is really important work, and I want you to keep going. With a lot of my clients and myself included, I will tell you that high performers are often looking ahead. We're often looking for what's next. What challenge do I need to overcome? What problem do I need to solve? Where do I need to be ahead of the curve? And we're really terrible at pausing and just noticing how far we've come. I want you to take a minute right now, pause this podcast right now, if you're in a place where you can do it, I want you to grab a piece of paper or a journal, and I want you to look back from the time you started, whether this is your business or this is a goal that you set, I want you to talk about when you started, when this thing was just nothing more than a thought in your mind.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:20] And I want you to list, brain dump, how far you've come. What are all of the things that you have accomplished in that amount of time, whether it's a couple of years or maybe it's a decade? List them out. And ideally, I want you to actually write these down because there is something that happens in the process of taking action. In writing something down it gives it more space in our minds, and it gives it that power to say this is important. We write down things that are important. I want you to write it down. How far have you come? What things have you accomplished since you started this journey? And then I want to go a little bit deeper, because I think that we all know when we start we have a vision, we have the passion, we have the grit, we have all the ideas. And then life happens. It happens to all of us. Whether that is we all of a sudden come up against a financial challenge that is just really hard and we have to really dig in. Maybe you cut into your personal finances to help fund your dream or your business. Maybe there was times where everyone around you was saying, this is crazy, you need to just, you know, admit your losses and move on. Maybe the voice in your own mind was so powerful that you had so much self-doubt and imposter syndrome and just not being sure if this was ever going to work.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:47] And I think we've all been through that, myself included. There have been so many nights where I would lay awake thinking, am I crazy? Am I being egocentric, thinking that somehow my dream is going to work out? When other people were telling me, when I would look at other businesses struggling and I would think, is this ever going to work? I think about the times where the cash flow was tough, where I would have been making far more money if I was working for someone else. I think of how many things that I overcame when it came to knowledge, just not knowing what I'm even supposed to do and all the things I needed to learn in my business. So the second question I want to give back to you is, what are all of the things that you've overcome? What are the challenges that you faced as you progressed towards your dream? Was that, you know, did you go through a change in your family, a change in your marriage? Did you have kids? Did you move? Did the market change? I want you to list out what are all of the challenges that you faced, that you found a way through, or that you overcame?

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:57] Let's give credit to that. Let's give credit to the grit and the resilience that you have. Again, I think as high performers, we often start thinking ahead and we go, Okay, here's what I'm going to need. Here's the hutzpah that I'm going to need to try and find to move forward through the next challenge that we come up. But we don't sometimes pause and give ourselves credit for what we already went through. And if you are on this planet right now, you've gone through some really big things in the last four years. If your business survived that, that really difficult time in our economy, you are doing amazing things and give yourself credit for the fact that you stuck with it, that you likely pivoted more times than your head knew how to manage, that you felt like you were just spinning around. If you did that, give yourself some serious credit in how you made it through that time. Because there was no guidebook, there was no map to say here's how this could happen. Pause and give yourself some credit. What things have you learned? How have you overcome financial challenges? How did you overcome the naysayers and the doubters and the voices in your own mind that made you doubt? And then what were the situations or the circumstances that you overcame along the way? Pause. Write it down. Give yourself some credit.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:15] And I would suggest like even set a timer for like five minutes, because the things that come to your mind first are going to be the things on the surface. But when you sit there long enough and you think, oh yeah, but there was also that time where a family member felt ill or fell ill, and I was able to kind of pivot and support them while I was going through this hard time or, oh yeah, there was that time where all of a sudden we needed to pivot and change because we had our team change or somebody moved or something happened. Let yourself kind of sit with it for a little bit and dig a little bit deeper than just what comes to the surface at the beginning.

[00:11:55] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership Program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with, um, the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus, all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:56] Now I want to ask yourself what keeps you going? You've come through some of these challenges. You have accomplished so much since you started. But now is the time to kind of have a look and go, okay, so what keeps me going? I'll take it back to my experience with the gym. I will tell you that I've come a long way. I've gotten stronger. My knees don't hurt as much. I can do different movements at the gym that I couldn't have even dreamed of doing before. And I overcame a lot. I overcame a lot of self-doubt. I overcame that thought that I'm too old for this, this is for people who are young and strong and healthy, and it's just too difficult. There was times where I was really doing a sprint in my business, and I would've been so easy to make the excuse that, well, that's what needs my attention right now, so I just don't have time for this. And what really keeps me going is the camaraderie, the community. I've met a whole new group of people who are aspiring to live a similar life that I do. They want to also age well and they want to not have pain, and they want to be strong, and they want to be healthy as they move into these next years of their life.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:11] It's the same in business. Think about what keeps you going right now. Have you found a new place in the business that maybe unfolded a new light for you and just gets you excited? Maybe you've moved into being more of a mentor. Or maybe, like me, your whole business pivoted, and you went from running your own business and being front line and doing all of that, and now you're moving into being more of a coach or a consultant and helping other people to grow and to do the things that you've already done. But you're at the stage, maybe in your life, of giving back and not being maybe as attached to the front line service. Or maybe you found a new market or a new business idea, whatever it is. What keeps you going now? What keeps you in the game? I think the other piece of this is give some credit to what is helping to keep you there. So like I said, with my gym people, a lot of the thing that keeps me there is the people that are there who are like-minded. I want you to give some credit to who have you met along the way that keeps you going? Are your clients or your customers inspiring you to push a little bit harder, or to find a little bit more from you, or from your team, or from your business? Are you pushing boundaries? Are you exploring new opportunities in business because you really want to provide something exceptional for these people that you just really care about? Have you met some people, maybe in different businesses, who are also running small businesses that are inspiration for you, or that you've been able to network or create collaborations with, and you're so appreciative of that opportunity because maybe that was something you didn't see at the beginning when you were just slugging your way through, and that what keeps you going now is recognizing that when we join together, there's just so much more to this. And that when you're feeling a time of doubt or you're uncertain or you don't know how to handle something, maybe now you have a network of people that you can go to and ask questions and build together that you feel really understand you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:16] So leaning into that, what keeps you going? What keeps you lit up and your foot on the gas? Because I want to get to the the next stage that just because you've made it to the stage of business where you know that you have something that works, most business startups fail for two reasons. It's so simple. Either they didn't do their market research and they're trying to sell a service or a product that people don't want. There's just not the market for it. Or they're charging too much for something that people don't want to pay that much for or maybe they could even get free somewhere else. Market research is one of the key reasons that small businesses that start don't make it past that first or second year. The second is cash flow. They are in a situation where they're spending more than they're bringing in, and it's just not sustainable. They've maybe funded from their personal accounts to try and get this business off the ground. Because, let's be honest, getting funding for small business is not always easy.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:17] These are the two things that sink businesses early on. So when I'm thinking of mentoring early business owners, A) I always want them to focus on market research first, and B) I want them to be really cautious of their spending so that they are building on a foundation but it's not gambling. You're not taking a risk with things that are too big that you may not recover from if this doesn't work. I'd rather it be a slow, steady build than a big risk and then potentially a big fall. But now that you're here, you've made it past that spot. You know that people are willing to buy your product or service. You know that you have something sustainable. You can't stop. Because the other, maybe not great statistic that I want to share with you that's really important, is the other major reason that businesses fail. 70% of businesses fail because of poor management. This comes back to us. In those early startup phases, we got grit. We are showing up and often doing all of the jobs in the business, and that taking this next step to scaling your business, to employing people or outsourcing to others to help grow your business and maybe explore new opportunities, requires a different skill set than the one that you had when you started your business. You need to develop the skills of management. You need to know how to delegate well, how to give feedback, how to have a good onboarding or training program so that when you bring people on, it turns into a great investment that you get a return on over time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:53] These are skill sets that leaders need to move their business forward, and I think it's something that we often overlook when it comes to moving our business forward past that start up phase. I think sometimes we think that once we've been in it for a few years, that then we'll just hire people to help us and things get easier. I'd love to tell you that. There's one more step. There's one more piece where you got to dig deep and do the grit work so that you can develop the skills of leadership and management. Once you have those skills, that's when it gets easier. But there is one more step that you need to take. Now, this is my passion. I'll tell you that when I started my company and then I built it over 22 years, I hesitated. And I don't think that I moved into developing the skills of leadership and management early enough. I know now it actually hurt my business. We could have grown so much more smoothly and without quite as much turmoil if I would have gotten real with myself and recognized that there was a shift that I needed to make, I needed to shift from being really frontline, customer driven, and really revenue generating in the business, to having at least a dedicated time where I was focusing on supporting my team and building my team and having systems in place to move that forward.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:16] I've done it, and this is where my passion is right now, in building my coaching programs and working with other small businesses at this stage. It's a really critical piece of the puzzle to make it long term in your business, so that this becomes the flywheel that does get easier. The thing that you're craving right now, that's my tagline: create the life you crave. But you can't take your foot off the gas too early, or you'll lose that momentum. And it's developing a new skill set. You got to do it. I think when you can do it by joining with other business owners who are at the same phase of business that you are, they're facing some of the similar challenges, they're having a hard time maybe letting go of some of the tasks in their business that they're good at or that they enjoy doing. And it's sometimes hard to admit the things that you just don't want to do anymore or that you're really not good at. And maybe you're the bottleneck in the business and you're preventing the growth, just like I was.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:17] This is where I'm moving towards the Anchored Leadership programing that I've created an incredible program. I'm not going to be shy about this because it really is amazing. I took ten key topics that are critical to becoming an effective leader, so that you don't become the 70% that say, Well, difficulty with management skills was the thing that took my business under after we had overcome this really difficult time of startup, and we made it through those hard pieces, I dropped the ball and I didn't do it. I took ten key parts that are critical. And then I created a group of small business owners, just like you, who are past that initial start up phase, who are looking to develop their leadership skills. I made it a combination because I know you're busy, and I know that it is difficult to find time to do all of this, so I've balanced it out. There's online modules that you work through in your own time, so you have time and space to really apply it to your business and to be flexible about working through the program when the timing is right for you. And then I added in weekly one hour meetings where we get to meet as a group, you get to ask your questions, you get to share your challenges, we get to talk through it together. What I found when we went through this previously is this was the perfect balance. That my participants had freedom to explore those modules on their own, which they also have lifetime access to, so they can come back to those modules around giving feedback, delegating well, hiring and recruiting, how to build a strong team culture, strategic planning.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:55] They can keep coming back to those again and again, but they also get the support in real time to keep moving through the program. Because let's be real, I know that you have bought leadership books that you never read. You have bought programs that you never completed. This program, I've set it up so that it's not like that for you. You can work through it in your own time and have the support to move through it together, and to get really good accountability during the time that we're together. The next module, the next cohort, is starting March 7th. I don't want you to miss it. If this feels right for you, just click on the link, book an inquiry call, we can chat through it together to see is this the right fit and is this the right time for you? And I'm going to be really honest. I don't want you to waste money on programs that you don't have time for, or are not a good fit for the stage of business that you're in right now. I will be very honest with you. If it's not the right time and you need to maybe do a couple of things in your business before you're ready, I will tell you, I promise. I will not talk you into something that I don't think is a good fit. But the feedback that has come from the people who were the right fit and who really invested and did the work in the program, the results have been incredible.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:10] Thank you so much for being here. I want you to save this episode because when you go through times of doubt in your business, and you will, I want you to be able to come back to this and that quick little exercise that we did together to acknowledge how far you've come, the obstacles that you've faced along the way, and the resilience that you have demonstrated, that you have data for. To give yourself credit for that and to revisit what keeps you going right now? What are you excited about? This is something you can come back to again and again. And if you are inclined to share this episode with someone who you think might just need a little reminder or a little boost right now, please don't forget to like and share the podcast with a friend. Thanks so much my friends. I'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:58] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

25 - How Your Empathy is Hurting your Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 13 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000

What I want to talk about today is empathy. Specifically, I want to talk about how your empathy may be hurting your business. Possibly in ways you’ve never considered before. There are ways you may be getting in your own way through empathy. Now I’m not saying that empathy is a bad trait or in any way wrong, that’s not it. I am saying there is a time and place for empathy and to ensure empathy doesn’t lead to business decisions in ways that are detrimental to your growth.

I’ve had experience, personal experience, in letting my empathy get in my way and my business suffered for it. There are three main ways that I see in which empathy can undermine your efforts for your business. One way is making scalability and how you’re going to transition to having employees more difficult. The second way is in struggling to hold others accountable and not making excuses for people. And the third way is to prevent you from charging what you’re worth. There is a lot to examine in these three issues. How do you identify if they’re problems for you? What do you do to fix them if they are?

I want to talk about how you can still lead with empathy and support as important parts of your business. But if you are allowing empathy to get in the way of, say, transitioning clients to your new capable team members, or if you’re so desperate to be liked as a leader that you can’t clarify and enforce the expectations of a job, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. How can you keep empathy in mind without giving it control? How can you continue to offer top-tier service to clients without doing it all yourself? That’s what I’m going to explain in this episode.

Key Moments

02:15 When empathy gets in the way of scaling your business and transitioning your clients

12:58 How empathy can prevent you from holding others accountable

16:39 Why do we need to charge what we’re worth and not let empathy hold us back?

Ask yourself if certain clients would be better served by new team members in some areas
Have you been clear in communicating expectations and productivity needs?
Does what you charge allow you to appreciate your team well financially?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Hello, my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk to you about how empathy might be hurting your business, and specifically, how empathy may be hurting your ability to scale or grow your business. This topic is coming from a place of real vulnerability because as I took my business, I was an occupational therapist for 22 years who grew a private rehab practice and eventually went on to sell that same business that I was so proud of. Now, in these last few years, as I've come into business and leadership coaching, and I've had the opportunity to work with so many entrepreneurs in service-based businesses. So I'm talking to the psychologists, the healthcare workers, massage therapists, chiropractors, SLPs, as well as financial planning accountants, bookkeepers, any space where your service has led your business. I'm seeing a theme through all of these practices as they grow and scale, and they are coming up against the same challenges that I did over and over and over again. And I just want to openly talk about it, because I don't think that this is something that you get in traditional sales and marketing books or how to create, you know, great offers for your clients when we think about scaling.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:02] What I want to talk about today is where you might be getting in your own way. And I'm going to offer just a little bit of self-reflection because looking back I now see where my own empathy was really getting in my way. So I want to start off with like, let's just be so honest. If you are in a service-based business and if you've started off small, maybe as a solopreneur, you are hoping that maybe you could kind of get this business going as a side hustle and get some clients that would maybe pay you and pay you consistently for your services and the things that you were really interested in. Your ability to empathize, to understand what your clients needed, what their fears were, maybe where they were confused, or what information did they need? When you were able to connect with your clients or your customers in a place of empathy, it likely served your business very well because your customers felt understood. They knew this person really gets me, and they were willing to trade their time and money for your knowledge and service. And that relationship developed sometimes over years. And this is the foundation of, I think, every service-based industry. If you don't provide great service and if you can't empathize with your clients, odds are you didn't really get it off the ground. But if you've done the work and you're at a stage where your business is successful and you are scaling up, then your empathy has likely served you so well to this point. Your clients adore you. They feel so connected and they feel so grateful for the service that you provide to them, the time and the energy and the knowledge.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:44] But what happens is, if you're the type of person that now you're ready to scale your company, maybe you've decided to specialize in a certain area of practice, or you are reaching a very particular demographic. Or maybe you've started to expand your team because your caseload is overwhelming and you've got so many clients, but now you really need to start filling up your other team members so that you can maybe open up to be more of a mentor, or to do the visionary planning in your company, or to start doing something else. In my own company what I saw was I absolutely started that way. I worked with clients directly and I was so passionate about it. I loved what I did, I loved the learning that came with it. And then over time, as I started to grow and change, I got really connected to doing training and I loved teaching. That's what was lighting me up. I had also developed my business to a point where I couldn't keep up with the demand for the customers that I had. My caseload was overflowing, and it was to the point where if I had one cancellation, it was throwing off my whole week because I didn't have any space or capacity to put that client that I really did care about, that I knew really did need my service.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:00] So as I started to hire people, what I was finding is that it was really hard for my clients to want to transition to a new team member. My empathy kicked in and I thought, well, I don't want to let them down. I don't want that customer or client to potentially leave my business and my service. I didn't want them to feel like I didn't care about them because I really did. I felt like I could keep doing this. I had developed this over time, so maybe I just should. And that new clients, when they came on, could then go to my team members. Now, the hard thing with that is when we were getting referrals, they were also coming with a direct request for me as the owner. The way that I see this, I'm very recently working with a client of mine who is in the financial world, and over the decade that they've been in business, they've really started to niche their service. So the way that I was moving into training, this particular client of mine was working towards a very specific demographic. So they had learned a lot more about corporate tax planning and financial planning. They had learned a lot more about succession planning in multigenerational family businesses. Their specialty had really started to narrow down, and this is the thing that they were really passionate about, that they were spending their time engaging in learning around, and that was where they wanted their business to go.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:24] Now what was happening is they had no space, just like I had no space in my calendar when I had a cancellation. They had no space to attract these new clients that they were really passionate and could serve very well, because they had a fairly large practice that included a demographic of clients who were not that type of person. They weren't business owners, they maybe had a small amount to invest over time into their tax savings or their retirement planning. But as this consultant had developed their practice over time, they were just finding that they couldn't let go and they didn't want to let those clients down. They didn't want those people to feel disappointed because that is what grew the foundation of their practice. But what happens is you will reach a plateau that if you continue trying to serve everyone that you were before and grow, there's no capacity, there's no space to do that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:21] The quote that I kept coming back to during this time as I was trying to transition my clients: Just because you can doesn't mean you should. I think that when we talk about boundaries and we talk about saying no, and we talk about there's this premise that we are completely good, of transitioning or sending our clients somewhere else when we don't have the information, when we feel like we can't provide that service or we don't have that knowledge. The truth is, in this situation, you do have the knowledge, you do have the relationship, and it's often something that you actually are very confident in and somewhat enjoy doing. But what I know for sure is that when you continue to serve clients that are not in the direction that your business is headed, or maybe you've decided that you're giving up that front line altogether and you're really moving into this place of mentorship with your team, and you really want to move into that, regardless, the longer you hang on to what you were before and the things that you were doing before, you will start to get resentful. And it shows up in such subtle ways but I know for myself and again, I'm just being really transparent with you, that when I held on to those clients that had been with me for years, that I felt I didn't want to let them down and I would keep doing those appointments, what was happening is I wasn't serving them to the best of my capacity, because I just wasn't as passionate about it anymore. My attention was somewhere else, and over time I was feeling like the service that they were getting was not what it should have been.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:55] And I had to get really real with myself and say, you know what? They would be served so well by one of my other team members who is so passionate about this area of practice. For my financial planner friend, as they were building their team, they had team members who absolutely had full capacity to take on those clients who were not business owners and who were just really invested in slowly saving for their retirement. They were passionate about that. They were building their practice. And she could still serve those clients, probably with a higher level of capacity, by transitioning them to one of her team members. So I think that's a place where we just have to get really real with ourselves, that you got to say no to the things that you can do that sometimes you want to do and that you still love, but it's not aligned with the direction that you want your business to go. It's okay to say I don't do that anymore, and to still have real appreciation for what that client or customer was in the beginning of your journey, and changing the messaging to the reason you're transitioning them is so that they can still get that exceptional service.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:03] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership Program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner, I've owned a practice for eight years, and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with, um, the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:07] I want to point out that knowing it and doing it are two very different things. I think that we look at our schedules, we look at our caseloads, we look at what we're doing in a day and we think, oh, I could probably just squeeze that in. This is a place that I work with clients really closely, and we actually develop sometimes a script or an email sequence or a system to transition clients to bring on someone else. Because I think first step is knowing that you need to but then being able to have a plan and a strategy for how you're going to do it is a whole other thing. So don't hesitate to get support in this, because it is not an easy process and your fears will kick in that those clients will leave or they're going to be disappointed. You're going to want some little support to get you through that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:58] Okay, the next one where I think empathy hurts your business, because I know it hurt mine, was in holding others accountable. Now, in being really honest, one of the mistakes that I see many service-based business owners make, especially if you are hiring someone to do a similar job that you were doing before - so if you are a service provider and you're hiring someone else to provide that same service - we will tend to way overextend our own schedules before we hire someone. And then when we do, we're almost desperate that we don't want that person to leave us. What I think happens in this is we hold back on being clear around what the expectations are, the things, the parameters, the KPIs -key point indicators - what are your goals? What are your outcomes when you take on this job? I know for myself, I focused way too much on I wanted my team members to like me. I wanted them to know that they were supported and that this job was going to be fun, and that they were going to have all of this flexibility. I was selling my job. But I wasn't trading that with accountability. I wasn't being clear on what I was expecting. And one of the other things I would do is that if someone fell short of expectations, and I'm going to be perfectly honest with you, sometimes they didn't even know what those expectations were. They were in my head of what I thought someone should know, the way I thought they should be motivated, or the productivity levels that I thought they should have, but I didn't actually say them out loud, or I didn't have them in a system or a process. When that happened, I would find myself making excuses for that person before I had even talked to them about it. So I would say things like, you know, I know you're really busy and I know that it's really overwhelming. And I would take the pressure off before I even said to them, but here's what I really need. I know you've got kids to drop off, and I know it's so hard getting little ones out the door in the morning, I totally get that, you know, it'd be great if you could be on time for work in the morning. Do you see how when I led with empathy, sometimes it was like, oh well, yeah, she understands. She knows it's not really a big deal.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:14] But in the back of my mind I was resentful because I'm like, come on, we start at nine and I need someone here because I don't have space and capacity to cover your job when you're not here. I really need you to be on time. But by the time I would have the conversation, it was this really evasive, weird, I wasn't being clear, nobody really knew what I meant. I think this is where empathy got in the way. Now, I'm not saying that it's not okay to empathize and to understand where people are coming from and the challenges that they're facing. I think where this gets us into trouble is when we empathize too much, we make excuses for people, and then we don't hold them accountable on the other side. So my go to phrase with this is clear is kind. Do people know what I'm asking them to do? Do they know what the expectations are? And when they don't, am I able to just come back to those conversations? Again, I think having the awareness that you need to is the first step. Knowing like, oh yeah, I do do that and it's probably not working well for me is step one. And I think then having a strategy and a plan, sometimes even developing that script to say, here's how I'm going to have this conversation is the next step so that your empathy doesn't end up being a door that gets closed, that you then are not moving towards the direction that you really need this conversation or these behaviors or these outcomes to go.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:39] Okay, the last one. This is another big one. I think there are times where we use empathy, particularly in terms of affordability, and we price ourselves too low. Now, I'm going to be really honest with you. This is one that I still struggle with sometimes because I know for myself. I want to be available to people. I don't have a multi five-figure coaching business. That is not what it costs to work with me. I've tried to price myself in the middle where I am working with business owners at what I call the teenager phase. I'm really interested in helping you to scale your business. I really want you to go to that next level. I want you to be an exceptional leader and I want you to make money doing it. Recently, I had someone come to me who was really struggling in their business, and they've been struggling for a long time. They are trying to hold all of the hats. They are the hub of the wheel. They are stretched and stretched and stretched beyond capacity. And they came to me to inquire about my services. But they had no space and no time to be able to even allow time for a coaching appointment. And if you want a little bit more information, last weeks, two weeks ago episode was Is Business Coaching Worth It? And that was a little bit of framework for this conversation that I had. Because this person said to me in anger, this is what makes me so angry about business coaches, is you have information that I need and I know I need it, and I know you could help me, but you are at a price that I can't afford because my business is barely scraping by. I'll tell you out of the gate this person had a seven-figure business. And as I said, my coaching services are not five-figure coaching services. I had to sit back because my first response was, I know how hard business is, and I know what it feels like to be stretched beyond your capacity and feel like you have no time. And this person wanted me to open up appointments on evenings or weekends. That's what they were asking for. I don't have time during my day to spend time on coaching. And I had to take a breath because my first thought was, oh, I could probably do this. If I only took one client like this, I could probably squeeze them in and I understand, and maybe I could, you know, lower my prices for this. Or maybe we could do a trade. And I had to come back to myself to the very first point to say, hang on a second.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:20] If you are at a place where you have zero capacity to even give me an hour every couple of weeks within a 9 to 5 workday from Monday to Friday, you likely don't have capacity to implement the changes that I'm going to ask you to make in your business. You are better off to shift your focus and really look at your own business. But I'm not the coach for you. I am not going to be the one that is going to meet with you in the evenings. This person also was really adamant they needed to meet in person, because they said they were too distractible when things were online, because they had too many other things going on, and they would just go and return emails or do other things while we were in coaching. They were telling me so clearly. I am not your ideal client. They were putting it right out there. They were being beautifully honest with me. And my empathy was kicking in and saying, oh, but I could, I could do this for this person. So I had to sit back, I had to get real with myself and say, you know what? This is not my best client. I was able to refer that person on to someone who is a phenomenal fit for them, and I think they'll get great results. But what I know now is there's an investment that I expect my clients to make with me.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:36] There is an investment that you expect your clients to make with you. And as you scale your business, if you have spent money on up-leveling your services and on getting different credentials or specializing in your industry, you are valuable. I want you to hear that again. When you have experience, when you have knowledge, when you have specialized, you have earned the right to increase your prices. Now, if that doesn't sit well with you and that still feels sticky or hard, then I'm going to come at this from a different way because I for years tried to price my services when I was a solopreneur, I thought, well, I'm working for myself, so if someone doesn't pay me or if I lower my price, the only real person that's hurting is me. Then when I went on to paying staff members and team members, the way that I kind of got through this undercharging was because I really valued my team, and I wanted to have an exceptional team to take over. I wanted them to feel really valued. I wanted to be able to pay them not only fairly, but I wanted to be able to pay them well so that they felt so appreciated and they didn't feel like they were barely scraping by, and they could take vacations and they could do fun things with their families, and they could buy that house of their dreams. That's what I wanted to be a part of, because I can tell you my team was incredible and they deserved it. The way that they showed up and the passion and the care that they gave to their clients, they deserved to be paid well. It was easier for me as a leader to think of it that way, that when I was charging a fair amount, when my business was not just barely scraping by, that I was able to attract really great staff, I was able to build my team, and they felt really valued and appreciated financially. That was huge.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:27] I'm now at kind of at another stage of this, and I don't know if it's my age or just kind of now looking in different industries, because I think in service-based industries, we tend to think we don't want to overcharge because we want to be affordable for clients who really need it. And if you're working with people and helping them with their pain, or helping them with their children or helping them with taxes and finances, you know that your services are needed. And when we charge fairly it can feel sometimes like we're taking advantage. And what I now know is that when you've specialized, when you've done the work and you've got the experience and you've got the reputation to stand on and you increase your prices fairly, there's an alignment. You will attract the right type of clients to your business who are able to pay, but it will also give you the ability if you choose to give back in other ways. You can then do scholarships for your business, or you can offer maybe free trainings or workshops for people. You can give back to charities that you really believe in that are doing amazing things. I now know that if we want to build small community, if we want to build strong communities, the way that we can do this is financially. Maybe in the past you had time to give. You could volunteer to give back. There is still a need for our food banks, for mental health services. There's so many places where we can give back to our communities to help those resources build, and I think when we get really clear about how we want to give back and how we want to build communities that align with our core values of our business, this is the way that you can sometimes overcome that financial hurdle in charging what you're worth.

Kari Lotzien: [00:24:11] So. Thank you so much for being here. When you think about how empathy might be hurting your business, number one, I want you to think about who are you going to transition, who are you no longer going to work with and how you might do that? Number two, holding others accountable, not making excuses for people or letting them off the hook before they even know what the expectation is. And number three, charging what you're truly worth and being able to stand in that and feel confident. As you've talked through these, if you find that maybe you do want a little bit of support in okay, I understand yes, this is me, this sounds very familiar, and you're in a service-based industry that you are looking to scale, the Anchored Leadership Academy might be a great fit for you. I totally invite you to go to my website and check it out. Our next cohort will be going through in March. Our doors are open. We're going to have a small group where you work through modules week by week on the key elements of leadership, of scaling your business. And then we have an hour a week together where we get to talk as a group and really apply this to your business. If this sounds interesting, please do reach out. Let's book an inquiry call and we'll see where it goes from there. If you have not liked and subscribed yet, please make sure that you click on the three little dots and make sure you follow and subscribe so you don't miss an episode. We'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:38] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you're requiring support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

24 - When You Lose a Key Team Member

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 6 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000

A topic came up during our Anchored Leadership training that is a challenge faced by many small businesses. It’s something every business owner with a team will face sooner or later. What to do when a key member of your team leaves? Regardless of whether that person is going away temporarily, on an extended vacation or maternity leave, or they’ll be gone permanently, they got a new job or moved cities, losing a member of your team that you rely heavily on is a blow that’s difficult to overcome. So I’m going to talk about being proactive.

People are transitional, they follow opportunities, ideals, and family decisions. The days of choosing one job and staying there until retirement are long gone. But just because a phenomenal person indicates they may only be with you for a short while, never shy away from hiring them. Even a short time with a phenomenal person will benefit your business. Instead, get proactive about preparing for inevitable departures. Think ahead. There are choices you can make that set your business up to do well even when someone leaves.

Ask yourself if there is cross-coverage for every team member’s job. If somebody takes care of a vital aspect of your business and nobody else knows how to do it, that is a gap you need to fill. Cross-training is essential and that goes for your role as well. It’s the ability to assess what your business needs and will need in the future, and how best to alleviate client and customer concerns about team member departures that will set you up for client retention and behind-the-scenes success. How do you do that now, when things are going well? I’ll lay out key points to consider so you can think about the future needs of your business today.

Key Moments

02:06 Why you should hire that phenomenal talent even if their time in your business may be short

03:26 All the reasons for cross-training team members

07:49 Why you should encourage relationships between clients and other staff

There are ways to prepare for client retention when providers leave healthcare jobs
When you should introduce new hires to your team and clients
How you deal with team member departures will be closely watched by the rest of the staff

Resources mentioned in this episode:

WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today, I want to share a topic that came up during our anchored leadership training, and I recognized pretty quickly that this is a challenge that is faced by many small businesses. It's when a key member of your team leaves. Now, this can come in so many different forms. It may be that someone is going on maternity leave or taking a leave of absence due to illness or to be a caregiver for a family member. Or maybe they're leaving permanently, they got transferred or they're moving to a new community. Regardless, having to deal with transitioning employees is an inevitable part of business. And I think that we aim or we hope that we will get to a point in our business where we have a really strong, solid team where everyone knows what they're doing, they're well connected and that we'll live happily ever after. But the truth is, this is a moving target, and people have lives that are always changing. And the days of staying in a job for decades and then retiring in that said job are really something we're seeing less and less of. People are more transitional, and they will follow new opportunities. And you might have a phenomenal employee who stays with you for a very short period of time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:05] Number one, I don't want you to ever shy away from hiring a phenomenal team member just because you think that they may not be with you that long. If they have a love of travelling or they mention that they may end up having a new opportunity, I don't think that it is ever worth not taking a chance on people, because I can tell you some of my best hires, and the people that really moved my business forward, were people that didn't stay with me long. The benefit they had to my business, I wouldn't take it back for anything. I think that there are ways that we can be proactive in how we manage this very real challenge that many small business owners face. We want to be proactive. Don't ever assume that by offering people more money, or by making them feel like they're irreplaceable, or that you're so dependent on them and you don't know what you would do without them, that is not the way to retain staff.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:08] We want them to have freedom. And there's a way that you can love on people, ensure that they feel respected and valued in your business, while still really appreciating that they always have opportunities that may be available to them elsewhere and that you don't own them. I think we really need to consciously cross-train your team. If you have one team member that holds a key role in your company and no one else knows how to do that skill or that task, even to cover for a short period of time, say that person got sick, we need to make sure that every task in your business can be covered by someone else. If you have gaps, then you need to go in and be consciously filling those in and cross-training your team. Even if they don't do that skill or that task all the time, to make sure that you've got someone who could step in if needed. And I'm going to highlight, this goes for you too. Look at all of the roles you hold in your business and if you needed to step away, could you? And hopefully at least the majority of the tasks that you do in your business could be covered by someone else.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:22] I think proactively another thing that we can do is encourage coverage. So I want to lean in and talk about specifically service-based businesses and maybe even leaning further into talking about healthcare businesses. Therapists. Whether you are a physiotherapist, speech therapist, chiropractor, psychologist, counselor, massage therapist, I think there are patterns that we hold in these types of industries, where a client will form a really solid, long term relationship with one single person in your team, and that puts you at risk. Because if that person leaves or goes even to your competitor, that client is at risk for following them, or they will start to look around at other businesses, at your competitors, and there is a chance that you can lose that customer. So to encourage that customer to develop a relationship with more people than just their one service provider on your team. So this could be a way of providing coverage. So if one of your employees is sick, maybe another one fills in for a couple of sessions or you consciously talk about specialty areas of practice. So if you're a massage therapist, but maybe one of your colleagues, a different member of your team, has a specialty in how they manage a certain type of injury or a certain type of pain. What you want to do is encourage your team to be referring to each other. So you might be the primary service provider, but if that person has a really specialized piece or you're getting feedback, you might have a team member that's really not open to going and having a service provided by that other professional. One way that you can kind of bridge this gap is to have your team members talk about each other. Hey, I was talking about you with my colleague because they went to this new course or they've really specialized in this certain technique and I had them consult about how I might approach this certain challenge. So what you're doing is you're giving credit to other members of your team. Your client is then hearing their name. They're getting to know them a little bit. They're getting a little bit familiar with what they do, which kind of creates a safety net that if this therapist left, they know that there's someone on your team who may be able to step in and provide this high level of care that they've heard about, or they know that that's a part of your system.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:02] One of the best things I did last year was launch the Anchored Leadership Academy training program. We had our first group go through in the fall of this year, and let me tell you, it was incredible. We gathered a group of established entrepreneurs who really wanted to move forward in their leadership skills; developing their teams, being able to feel confident in giving great feedback, and delegating well to move to that next stage of their business. The next cohort will be starting in March 2024. The doors are open now for applications. All you need to do, if you want to check out the link in the show notes, have a read, and if it feels like a good fit, book an inquiry call. That's it. Hope to see you there. All right, back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:49] The other thing is you want to consciously develop relationships with different members of your team. If you have, or every patient, every client, has a relationship with the receptionist, and far beyond just checking them in. But does that receptionist know their name? Do they ask how their trip was or do they make kind of light chit-chat? These things again, help to develop the relationship not just with the service provider, but also with your business as a whole. They have that relationship, they have that connection. And when the receptionist says, oh, you know, did you hear or I know that you've heard that your service provider is leaving, but I know that this other person is just going to be amazing, their clients just rave about them too. What happens is when the receptionist says that, there's already this sense of trust, there's already a sense of relationship, and they'll trust what they share and that they're being looked after in the business as an entirety. So you want to make sure that you're consciously developing those relationships across your practice.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:03] Now. Let's talk about when you're in the situation. So you've heard that maybe someone is going on leave. I think there are best practices when it comes to how do we do this with our clients so that we minimize the risk of them losing the connection with our business and losing them as a customer? We don't want that. I feel that any time you have information to share where you anticipate that someone is not going to be happy with what you are telling them, so whether that is I'm moving away, I'm taking a leave, I'm changing my hours, I'm going part-time, any reason that someone is leaving and you anticipate that their customers aren't going to be thrilled about it, get closer. I do not think that people who have invested their time and their money with you, and as a service provider especially in the healthcare industry, sometimes these people, they have disclosed really difficult information to you, they've gone through hard times and they really do have that close, connected relationship. If they suddenly see on a website or they get a really impersonal email that announces your departure, it doesn't honor the relationship you have. So I think the closer you can get in letting people know that that's what's happening, ideally, the service provider themselves is telling that customer up front, this is what's happening, here's my plan and we've got some time to plan the transition.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:37] I think it helps our clients, our patients, to feel like we truly care about their service and that we're invested in the transition with them. Ideally, we then want to give them an option. So you could talk to them that as you're coaching your team member, to then talk to their clients to introduce them to who's taking over their caseload for them, and then you plan. So I could introduce you to them, we can set up a joint visit. Now I'm actually a big fan of doing joint visits. And yes, I know that it costs the business owner significant money to pay two staff members to see one client. I personally feel the investment is worth it. When we would transition team members amongst our team, when we'd have maternity leaves or long holidays or people were leaving permanently, I would typically allow them 2 to 3 visits where they would overlap, even if it was maybe even for a portion of the visit, because I wanted the relationship to develop and transition from the person they knew to someone new. So that the likelihood of losing that client, they never felt like we dropped them. They never felt like they had to take it over and then the person leaves, they then have to decide, am I going to try again? Who am I going to reach out to? What is their schedule like? And they need to call the office.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:02] Ideally, I want to keep that client on the same schedule, and I just want to transition them to a new team member, but I want it to be seamless. I want them to feel held as they are transitioning from one team member to the other. Then I want to get ahead of it. I want to ask or answer all of their questions for them. So if you anticipate that those clients, patients, customers are going to have questions about, well, what is this new team member's experience, do they know how to deal with my particular issue or my challenge? So you want to answer that ahead of time. You want to be able to speak to the credentials of the receiving team member, even if it's someone who's new to your team. I'm making sure that my front line team member ideally knows who's going to cover for them, they know who's going to take over, and I can pass them over seamlessly. If you're in a situation where maybe you don't have that, you have a team member that's leaving but maybe your new person that's taking over that caseload isn't starting for a certain amount of time. I'm still going to try and backfill it so that I'm talking about them as if I'm assuming that they're going to take over. I'm talking about when they're coming. I'm talking about, you know, when they will be in contact or when they'll reach out, or will the receptionist be reaching out once they're up and ready to take on that new client, that then we're creating that transition. So ideally you're doing the overlap. And if you can't, you're still speaking to how that transition is going to happen. And you're really speaking positively about the receiving team member and what's happening there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:41] Give them all of the information they need. So they might also wonder, well, how are they going to know all the things that we've done already? How are they going to know what I've already worked through so that, you know, if you tried a certain technique and it didn't work for that client or they really didn't like it, is this new person going to know that, or am I going to have to repeat all of my stuff all over again? So you might then tell them about this is our transition plan, here's how we communicate. If you know that you're going to plan to transition to this new team member, we will do a review. So I go through with my team members, they will have access to my files, whatever the idea is so that that patient feels held and cared for. If there's going to be a change in schedule, so will they still be available for my typical 8 p.m. appointment on a Thursday? Do I still get my time? Whether they do or they don't, don't make false promises, but lean in and if the schedule is going to change, you let them know.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:43] Any place where you feel like there is a potential place where we could lose service. So whether it's credentials, whether it's background information, whether it's scheduling, anything that you can think of, that might be a reason why this customer that you've worked so hard to get into your business, we want to make sure that we're answering their questions ahead of time so that we don't risk losing them. And then we always want to close the door by making sure that your customers hear how grateful you were for that team member that they had the relationship with. Even if that team member leaves for reasons outside of maybe what you think was best service, you never want to be bringing team complaints or if there was issues in your team or that person left because they weren't satisfied, you don't bring that to the front line of your clients. You never want to highlight any sort of, oh, this person is so much better, or it was time for that person to go. You never want to give a sense of they left begrudgingly. You want to keep that cohesion in your business. If they had a great relationship with that person, you really want to honor that and you want to be speaking respectfully all through that engagement, especially as someone leaves.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:06] We want people to, when they transition, we want to be giving them the message as well that we are grateful for the service that they've provided, no matter how long that was. I think sometimes it's difficult as an owner when especially a key team member leaves, or someone who's a really high performer who is just so good, we do feel grief and loss and anxiety when they leave our team. Own it. Own it yourself. Don't put it onto that person. Be really intentional about how you want them to be leaving your business. If you want to make sure that they're leaving feeling your gratitude, your respect, and your really good wishes that whatever they're choosing next in their life, they're going with support. I think sometimes inadvertently, we will share, Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do without you or this really leaves us in a difficult situation, we're in a hard hiring time and it's just really hard to find new people, with all due respect, that is not your team member's problem. That's yours. And it's kind of an expected part of business and a risk that we take as we go through these transitions. So today I just wanted to share with you a few ideas on what to do when you find out that a team member is leaving for any reason to really minimize the risk that you lose clients.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:32] And I'm going to seal it up that when a team member leaves your business, never forget that the team members who are staying, who are on your team, they're watching to know how you deal with this departure. And this is a time where you really need to have high levels of integrity because you don't want someone to see a negative impression or, you know, that you're talking badly about someone or that, you know, you're really making them feel horrible about leaving your business because the people that are still there, they know that well, that's what might happen when I announce that I want an extended vacation, or when I've decided to start my family. You don't ever want your current team members to feel like them living their lives and doing what they want to do is jeopardizing how you feel about them. You always want to create that sense of safety and connection and all of that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:34] So, a few ideas today. I hope it helps as you transition into building your team, building strong, connected teams, and maintaining just phenomenal businesses that really look after clients well. Thanks so much for being here. We'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:51] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

23 - Is Business Coaching Worth It

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 30 Jan 2024 09:00:00 +0000

If you’ve done your strategic planning for 2024, you may have laid out some big goals, and you might be asking yourself “Is business coaching worth it?”. I’m going to be exceptionally candid with you in this episode. Business coaching is a great help but it’s not always the best investment for you and your business in certain situations. You want to ensure a return on your investment so I want to give you guidance in what to consider when thinking about a business coach and how to hire a good one when you’re ready.

I understand the hesitation in hiring a business coach, when I was growing my first business, I held off on hiring a coach past the point where I should have. I have also hired a coach who seemed like a good fit but I didn’t get good value out of the relationship. For a business coach to be beneficial to you, there is a lot to consider. I’ve come up with seven steps that guide you through the whole process from conception to hiring to ensure you find the right match for your goals.

The seven key points are designed to lead you on a journey of introspection to be sure you’re ready to benefit from what coaching can offer. First, ask yourself what you hope to get out of coaching. Before you try to narrow down the options in the field or interview a potential coach, know what you need. Also, do you have the time and energy to invest in coaching? Be honest. There are a lot of business coaches that charge big money and for you to get the results you want, you need to have the time to invest in what you learn from the coach. Then you have to ask yourself the hardest question: are you coachable? How do you assess that? How do you know you’ll be able to follow through on your plans? How do you narrow down the glut of options in the business coaching industry? Those questions, and more, are what this episode will help you answer.

Key Moments

03:30 What do you hope to get out of coaching? How can you answer this for your business?

09:45 You need to find a coach who understands you and what you want from your business.

14:44 How to dig in and ask a potential coach the right questions.

Being coachable is a key component of the relationship, it’s a two-sided coin
Will you be able to commit to putting into action the things you learn from your coach?
Coaching will not save a floundering business if all your energy is devoted to keeping it afloat.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Hello, my friends. I'm so glad you're here. You might have done your strategic planning for 2024, and you've got some big goals. And you might be wondering, is business coaching worth it? So whether you're looking at the Anchored Leadership Academy, the group training program, or maybe you're considering private coaching for your business, I want to be really clear. I do not always think that business coaching is the best investment. Today, I'm going to talk to you really openly about how I think you can use your resources with more clarity, and that if you choose to hire a coach this year or do a group training program, that you're really clear on what you want out of it, and that you're going through a process to make sure that what you're investing in is helping you to ensure that you're getting your return on your investment. I know that it's hard. As a small business owner myself, I started my business when I was in my early 20s, grew it for 22 years, and then sold.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:36] And I know myself how reluctant, number one, I was to spend money on coaching, and I held on for a really long time and didn't seek coaching when I probably should have. And then I know there's times where I hired a coach and thought that I was going to get a lot of great value out of it and I was disappointed. And there was times where I found the right fit, where I was in a place where I knew what I needed. I was able to find the person or the program that was a great fit for me at that time, and I was able to move forward and get the results that I really needed. And I think too often when we look at the coaching industry, which is so saturated, we tend to be drawn towards the shiny things that people who have the most money and the private jet and the fancy cars, and we think that, well, if they have all of those things, they must be a great business coach and I should probably hire them. And then you find out how much it costs to actually work with them, and you think, oh, that's not available for me. I'll just have to accept much less or, worse off, you do spend the big money and you find that that person just really doesn't get your business and where you are, and they just have different resources or a different perspective. This doesn't work.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:59] I think there's a process that we can go through together on helping you make the best decision on how you're going to move towards business coaching, or how you can decide with confidence that now is not the right time, and to do that and feel okay about it. So I'm going to give you seven steps today to just guide you through the whole process. Number one, I want you to ask yourself when you consider coaching, when you start to think about, oh, that's something that maybe I am interested in, I want you to just ask yourself, what do you hope to get out of it? What are you looking for in your business right now? Get clear. I think there's so many coaches out there that work in different areas. So there are coaches that work primarily with your strategic planning and they specialize in different industries. So you might have business coaches who specialize in the legal industry or in oil and gas or in product development. You might have business coaches who really look at efficiencies and time management or organization. Maybe that's one of your big struggles this year that you're wanting to improve on. I think one of the big mistakes that I see here is business owners mixing up getting help in your business, you need someone to do it for you, you need someone to just take over that task, versus spending time with a coach to allow you to really assess how are things working, to reflect or brainstorm ideas, and then to help create a plan together.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:31] So let's take for example marketing. So maybe your challenge this year is you really want to grow your clientele, and you really want to grow your revenue in your business. You've identified the goal, but maybe you're not sure how and you're not quite sure where to move forward. What are your best ideas? Where are the gaps? Where could you grow? And you want someone to kind of bounce ideas off of and to be a sounding board who will ask the right questions to help you get clear, and then help you to lay out a plan to move forward. That can be a perfect fit for coaching. If you know exactly the product and service that you have already well established, you've got a great reputation, you know you've got the resources in place to handle the increased business, but you just need more people to know about it, then you might want to hire a marketing agency that can really focus on that specific challenge in your business and build you forward from there. So one is more of that kind of quick fix, or you're wanting the answer. The other is, I need someone to help me unpack the bigger picture. I think by just aligning what you're looking for specifically will help you with the next step when we talk about doing your research.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:45] Okay. For number two, I want you to do your research to help you find the best fit for what you identified in number one. Once you know what you want to work on, now do your research and find out who might be the best fit. The coaching industry is really busy. It's really noisy. And I want to make sure that when you hire someone that you know you're getting what you're looking for. So you want to make sure, go to their social media, go to their website, listen to their podcasts such as this one. There's so many business coaches who have really great podcasts where you can go and kind of get to know them. It's like you're having a conversation with that person, and you get to know a little bit about what their values are, how they think, what they, how they attack different types of problems or challenges. What sorts of advice do they give? And I want you to ask yourself at that point, does this feel like a good fit for me? Do I feel like this is someone who would get me? You want to be looking at their social proof. So in their testimonials, are you seeing yourself? Are you seeing people who are facing similar challenges? You might just find that, yeah, they have similar challenges. So for example, I work with a lot of different business owners, but they face similar challenges.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:05] A lot of the clients that I work with are working towards what I call the teenager phase of business. They're wanting their business to start operating a little more independently from them. They're ready to start letting go of some of the front line, and they are really looking at improving their own skills of leadership. They want to know how to delegate better, how to hire better, how to really build a strong team. And they know that as a leader, they might be really, really good at providing customer service, they're really good at doing the job themselves, but they know that there's a different skill set they need to develop as they grow their business and move it forward. There's other businesses where a coach will work primarily with men who are startups, who are in a certain type of industry. Maybe they only work in real estate and they coach other real estate owners to build their businesses. Or maybe you have someone who specializes in working on mindset with speakers, and they're really helping them to develop their speaking business. Whatever your goal is, you want to make sure that this business coach ideally can align and you feel like they get you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:14] I think this was one of the big mistakes that I made early in my business when I first started looking at business coaching, I didn't really know what I was looking for. I didn't really know what I wanted. I knew that I wanted my business to operate more smoothly, because I knew I was tired, and I knew I wanted to make more money. So when I was looking, I went to people and looked for advice, who had lots of money and who I felt like knew how to do business because they were driving the fancy vehicle and they had the nice house. I looked locally, and what I found really quickly is that when I started asking them for advice, I felt like they didn't really understand me. They didn't really understand why I was in business. They didn't understand that when they told me, you need to be working on your business, you need to just walk away and delegate tasks to others so that you can move into a place of ownership where you look after the business, but it runs itself.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:07] I didn't understand how that would improve my business, and it didn't feel aligned with where my energy was coming from, because what I was so passionate about was the front line service. And I think there's a lot of business owners out there who are really passionate about what they do, about what they provide. They love mentorship, they love being with people. And maybe what they're looking for is, how do I support the back end? Because maybe you don't love doing the admin part of the job, the invoicing and the strategic planning and meeting with lawyers and accountants and all of that kind of stuff. Maybe that's not where your energy comes from in your business. So I think when you're talking to a business coach, you need to make sure that they understand you. A lot of the owners that I work with are parents, and one really big factor that I feel like a lot of my clients have is that they want to balance between having a life outside of their business and being really connected to their business. And I think early on, I know for myself, I was reaching out to business coaches who had no life balance themselves. That they had a value or a belief that you had to invest sometimes 80 hours a week in your business if you wanted to be successful and that the way that you did that was by hiring people to look after your family and by not attending some of those important events within your family, that it was just the price you paid.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:35] And I remember feeling like, if that's the path to success, I don't think I want to be on it. It really had a negative effect and I felt really disconnected. And I will tell you, that's probably one of the key things that held me back from seeking a coach at the next stage, because I thought, they're going to tell me to do something like step away from my kids and not be there for family meals and not have family vacations. And those are the things that are most important to me, because that's kind of why I'm working. I love what I do, I believe in it, but I also want to have that balance. Those two things can't be mutually exclusive for me. So a lot of the people that I really love working with are in that same situation. They really value the time with their family. They do spend time volunteering and doing other things. They just feel they don't have enough time to do all of the things. And as we get a little bit older, many of my clients are in their 40s and we're starting to slow down. We don't have the energy that we did back in our 20s where, you know, we could stay up until midnight working on our business or finishing things up and cleaning things up. We need sleep and we're just tired. So we want to have more freedom and flexibility to do the things with the energy that we have.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:49] This is something I want you to lean into, because you will be able to weed out a lot of people. And one additional step is I want you to ask yourself clearly when you look at a coach, would you trade their life for yours? So they might have the private jet, they might have the fancy car, but you might notice that they're on their third marriage or they have no relationship with their kids. You don't see that in their posts. Or you can see where maybe they talk about other people and kind of a negative way that they're using people to achieve that level of success. So I want you to just ask yourself, and if you do get that, oh, I'd really like that. Oh, that holiday looks really nice or I'd love to have that kind of vehicle, or I'd like to enjoy that really fancy vacation or that really great outfit, and then ask yourself, would I be willing to do what they're doing to get the results that they're getting? Because we can get a little bit enamored by the social media or the website, or the thing that looks really great on the outside. But dig into it. Do you feel that person could speak to where you are at in your business, and do you feel like you could have that mutual exchange? If not, they may not be the right fit for you and just know that from the get go.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:09] One of the best things I did last year was launch the Anchored Leadership Academy group coaching program. We had our first group go through in the fall of this year, and let me tell you, it was incredible. We gathered a group of established entrepreneurs who really want to move forward in their leadership. So developing their teams, being able to give great feedback, delegating well to move to that next stage of business. The next cohort is going to start in February and doors are open now for applications. All you need to do is click on the link in the show notes, have a read, see if it feels like a good fit for you, and then book an inquiry call. That's it. Hope to see you there. All right, back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:53] What I think you're doing in step two is you're narrowing it down. So now you might have narrowed it down to three different coaches that you think might be a good fit for you. You're doing your research to find out what am I looking for, who might be able to help me with this, and then narrowing it down even further to now where I'm going to take my next steps and maybe book an inquiry call or do a little bit more research to find out is this the right program for me as I move forward with this decision. Okay. At step three, you want to lean in a little bit further by booking that inquiry call or discovery call with that coach. This gives you a chance to ask your specific questions. Now, many of us are kind of turned off by an inquiry call because we're used to having the sales pitch or feeling pressured or coerced into buying a program. That's not what this is about. An inquiry call gives you a chance as well, to ask your key questions and make sure that this is the right person for you.I want to know, do they have a framework or a process that they work through with their clients? Because a lot of what you're paying for as someone who's investing in that service is you want to know that by going through this process or this framework, that you are going to achieve a certain type of result. That you're either going to learn or get something from your business. You're going to be able to create a strategic plan. You're going to be able to know what you want to do next in your business by following that framework or process. You want to know. Directly ask them, who isn't a good fit for my coaching. If they are the type of coach who tells you that they can work with anyone, anywhere, in any industry and that everyone is a good fit, that is a huge red flag for me, because I think if you're a good fit for everyone, you're probably a good fit for no one.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:46] I want to know where do you really shine and who are you not a good fit for? What I know for myself, I am a great fit for service-based industries, particularly health and wellness, that's an area I really understand well. I love working with people who have taken a business from a really small place, and then they've grown it and they're really invested in it. I don't do well with more of a corporate structure where maybe that business has operated for 50 years and then I'm working more with a management team than I am with an individual. I know that I do better with individuals. I do better with small companies. I do better with service-based companies. Product businesses where maybe if their primary concern is supply chain issues, or they're really working on a certain type of process related to production, that is not my jam. If their issue is related to their people, team building, wanting to develop a strong team then that's more aligned with what I want to do. You want to know how long am I expected to work with you? So we have a lot of coaches out there who might sell you a package for a certain number of months, or a certain number of sessions. You want to ask them, how long do your clients typically stay with you? Because if I don't ever want a client that feels like they have to invest that time for the next 5 or 10 years.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:07] But I'm also very forthcoming with my clients that I do a solid break. So they sign on for a certain number of sessions, and then they decide if they want to continue for another period of time. We clearly set goals, and if they take a break, there's no pressure. It's always concerning to me when coaches are evasive, either they won't tell you how long most of their clients stay, or you feel like there's kind of this sense of pressure to stay long term. If people are saying, oh, you know, most of my clients stay for five years and they're just so happy with my service, and if they speak poorly about people who maybe didn't continue on, you want to know what results can I expect to see in this particular time that I have available? If you're willing to commit six months to business coaching, and these are the results you need to see, you want to know that what you're looking for aligns with the way that coach works. If most of their clients work with them for extended periods of time, but they don't get that traction, that might not be the coach for you. So you just want to make sure that there's a good match between those two things.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:13] Okay. Now I'm going to flip a little bit to the side of the coach, because one thing that I've learned over the last few years as I've worked with more and more clients. At step four, I want you to ask yourself before you invest one penny or one minute in coaching, I want you to get really clear with yourself. Do you have the time and energy to invest in coaching? When you go back to number three and you talk about, okay, how long are people expected to work with you? What is the time commitment involved? What is the financial investment that I'm going to make for this, and what are the results I can expect to achieve? Now I want you to ask yourself, do I have that time and the resources to truly make the investment to be a partner in this? I heard a beautiful quote the other day and it said the listener completes the song.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:59] And I thought that was really beautiful because it's the same with coaching. Your coach can create the system and the process and the framework. But if the client doesn't come with their own experience and their own ability to apply that information to their business, the circle is incomplete, and no matter how great the system is, and no matter how great the training is and the framework and the process, if you don't have capacity to follow through on your side, no matter how much money you spend, I don't care if it's 29.99 for a one hour course or you're spending multiple five figures on a really complex highly committed framework, either one of those, if you don't have capacity to do it, is a waste of time and money. I'm going to say that again. If you don't have it, if you don't have the time or money, don't do it now. It's okay to delay it and then start to make a plan for how you are going to make that time available so that you can follow through. The thing that I now know in my practice is that when I have clients who are too busy and they are frequently canceling or moving appointments, they don't get the same result.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:18] And even though they are paying for the service and they're valuing my time and energy, I don't like that. It makes me feel terrible because I feel like I'm taking advantage, and now I'm way clearer on just asking people flat out, I'm really clear on what they need to invest in terms of time and energy. And then I'm really clear that if they don't have that available to them or they're needing to cancel often, they can't expect to get the same results. And the best way for my clients to get results that they see on my website and they hear in my testimonials is by attending regular connection appointments with me, so that we maintain the traction on their goals and in their business, and that they are investing that time and energy into it. So that's a it's a bit of a tricky one. It can be a hard conversation, but I just want to be really open with you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:11] All right, now on to point five. I want you to ask yourself if you are in a state of crisis, or really, if it's time to be seeking qualified mental health support. I am a huge supporter of therapy, and I think sometimes we reluctantly hire a coach thinking that if we just get our business in place, that then the rest of our personal life or our challenges will work out. And I can tell you, this is not the best option. If you're in a place of crisis, if you're going through grief or trauma or loss, or you're dealing with incapacitating anxiety, this is the perfect place to reach out to a qualified mental health professional, to help you feel nurtured and get you back on track as a stepping stone, so that in the future you may be available for business coaching. But I never want to confuse coaching with qualified mental health supports. The other piece is, I want you to make sure that if your business is in a state of crisis, if you are thinking that business coaching is that last straw effort to try and save your sinking ship, that is your business. I also don't recommend coaching at this time, because this is the time you need to get really strategic around how are you going to save this? If you are in crisis and you're at that place where you feel like your business is sinking you, coaching is likely not your best investment. And here's why. I think that coaching works best when you have capacity to make the changes that you need to make. You need to be having space for vulnerability and being open and self-reflecting. And if you are spending your last resources, especially if it is big money, if it's multiple five figures that you're spending to achieve coaching, but your business is at a place where it is sinking fast, do not invest your resources on coaching. You're kind of setting yourself up for failure. At that place, you really need to get strategic about where are you going to be able to earn money to turn that around, or what supports do you need today to kind of stop that bleeding wound that is sinking your business, or you're plugging that hole in your ship as it's sinking. I don't want you to invest tens of thousands of dollars in coaching at that point. It will not save your business simply because you don't have capacity. At that time I think you need to really narrow down into where are the quick fixes? How can you save it? You're in crisis mode, right? So at that point, you really do need to narrow down and spend what resources you can honestly afford to spend. You need to get really clear on what capacity you have to save this and then move forward. But I think at that point, coaching is not your best option.

Kari Lotzien: [00:24:09] This is a tricky one. Number six is being able to ask yourself, am I coachable? Am I open to self-reflecting, getting feedback, and working towards change? Now I want to point out that in a great coaching relationship, it can be difficult to be vulnerable and to open up and that can take time. So I don't want to give you the idea that you have to come into a coaching relationship just being ready to kind of lay it all out on the table. The process of being able to open up does take time, but I want you to ask yourself, when you look at the past, when you look at kind of how you're coming into this, really asking yourself if you have willingness to consider self-reflecting and changing. Any time that we are looking to change, there has to be a sense of being coachable to take the information that you're given, reflect on how it fits and then be willing to adjust course. There are many people out there, and for multitude of different reasons, that are just not coachable. They are really stuck in their ways. They aren't really invested in making a change long-term because, for whatever reason, they feel like this is working just fine. So if you hear yourself saying things like, I just need to motivate other people, I just need to learn how to fix other people because they are the problem, either, you know, my customers need to understand or my team needs to be more motivated or more inspired, but you're not willing to look at your side of the equation. If that's the case, I don't think the business coaching is your answer. I think in that situation, you're working through the day to day activities in your business and you're doing the best with what you've got. But if you're not in a place where you're willing to change, if you feel like when you do, maybe talk to someone about it. And that could be even in an introductory or inquiry call. If you notice yourself defending what you're already doing. That's a pattern that you are frequently just defending why things have to be the way they are, or why you can't change, why it's never going to be any different. So this can feel, from the coaching perspective, when you come up against a client that is really resistant to change and is just always defending their own action and giving you all kinds of reasons why that's not possible, why they're never going to have more time, they're never going to be able to let go of that task, they're never going to be able to create any more money, it feels like such a roadblock. And this can really deflate a relationship quickly. As a coach, these are the people that will then also say, well, I didn't get anything out of coaching. I don't feel like the value is there and they can be really detrimental to the business reputation of the coach. But it's not because the coach didn't have the framework or the coach didn't lay out the plan. It was simply because the relationship, both sides of that beautiful coin in the coaching relationship weren't there. So you have to have that openness and flexibility both ways.

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:29] All right. And in our final and seventh step, this is the time where you've gotten through all of this other steps and you think, okay, I know my priorities. I know what I want to work on. I've researched my options, I've interviewed a few candidates, and I think I've found a program or coach that will be a great fit. I have the resources, both financially and in my energy and my time, to invest in that process and now I'm in a place where I can say, okay, I'm ready to make the investment. But the key to wrap all of this up is to now plan for your success. Set aside time, put it in your calendar, not only for your coaching appointments, but giving yourself space and time within that coaching relationship to be able to reflect, do your homework, go back and implement those changes so that you can really get the most return on your investment. I'm going to set aside that time to do my follow through on what my coach and I discussed. I'm going to have time to spend on the business outside of the time I spend with my coach, or in that course, or in that training, so that I can start to implement some steps, whether those are really big things or small things, but you're creating a plan. You're taking your side of the coin to ensure that you're not just doing the course, you're not just listening to the training and having all of these great ideas at the beginning but then they never go anywhere because you didn't have the plan to follow through on it. You didn't have the resources. But you're setting yourself up so that when you do invest that time in paying for that coach, that this is where you're going to really optimize on your return.

Kari Lotzien: [00:29:13] So this is where I want to just highlight that when you're looking at the value of coaching and the range is so wide when it comes to how much you'll pay for a coach, number one, you want to make sure that this is something that is affordable, but I also don't want you to look for the cheapest coach out there, because what I want is that the value is there. You want to make sure that they've got the systems and the process and the framework that you can follow that allows you to predict that you are going to be successful in the goal that you had when you came into coaching. But you understand that you're also paying likely for their experience. You're paying for their knowledge. They've likely, hopefully, had a background of learning business, of being able to apply it to different situations. They have a background in knowing how to coach people, and they understand and get you so that you are able to apply it to your situation. That does have value, and you want to be able to ensure that when you're paying that money, when you're investing your time and energy, whatever amount that is, that you're getting the value. And I do believe that when you find the right coach who really gets you and who understands your business and can get excited with you in unpacking your challenges and in brainstorming opportunities and collaborating together, that relationship can be beautiful, and it can be so much fun as you start to really explore, where do I want to go next with my business? And I never want to, of course, I don't ever want to deter someone from working with a coach who is really great. But I want to make sure that we are setting ourselves up for the optimal level of success in business and in life, and making sure that when we come to this partnership between a client and a coach, that we're both looking after our sides of it, making sure that you're finding the right coach with the right credentials, but that you're also preparing yourself for what is it going to take for me to truly implement some of these strategies into my daily life so that I can get what I need out of it?

Kari Lotzien: [00:31:26] I hope that you have really enjoyed this episode. If this is something you want to explore more and you've gone through, you've listened to some podcasts, and you feel like this might be a good fit for you, reach out. Book an inquiry call with me. We can find out if we're a good fit and build from there. Thanks so much for being here. I'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:31:49] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

22 - Productivity Mini Masterclass

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 23 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000

We entrepreneurs tend to have big dreams, big ideas, and visionary goals. Sometimes we find ourselves at the right time to set those goals into something solid. Like in January, we might decide to finally write that book or launch that course. Or when we hit a certain financial goal. What often happens, though, is that we allow other people’s criticism or skepticism to hold us back from realizing those ideas. Or we don’t plan for the goals to be achieved and they eventually fade. So today I want to talk about the productivity needed to see our dreams come to life.

Author Steven Pressfield believes that the greater a task is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will face in coming to achieve it. That actually gives me a sense of relief, instead of seeming daunting, because it assures me that when I encounter resistance in realizing my goal, I’m on the right path. When we encounter that resistance, it’s time to dig in and really be of service to what we dream of doing. But how? What steps can we actually take to make that happen?

I’m sharing five points in a service model designed to get big dreams and big ideas out of our heads and into reality. The five steps I’ll dive deep into are clarity, self-discipline, self-regulation, narrow focus, and cluster energy tasks. These steps help define what the dream looks like in terms of moving forward and then creating habits and tasks that keep us self-motivated on the journey. We become our own best sources of discipline. We have all the steps laid out for ourselves so that we know what to accomplish daily which will bring us closer to the dream. Join me in this mini masterclass on the productivity needed to make goals a reality instead of just great ideas that we remember later and wish we’d acted on.

Key Moments

07:47 Achieving clarity on our big dream

12:28: Self-discipline and self-regulation work hand-in-hand

24:33 Narrowing focus to get rid of distractions

When we recognize we’re going to have to achieve our own dreams, we need to set ourselves up for success
Forming habits, task breakdowns, and clear goals are some keys to daily productivity
When I say “cluster energy tasks”, what does that mean and how can we structure that?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY
“The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield
“Do the Work” by Steven Pressfield
Asana

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor the Podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:12] Hello my friends, I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to do a mini masterclass on productivity and moving forward to create the life that you crave. Now this is my tagline and I think that there are so many of us out there. I know that my listeners are high performers. We dream big, we have big visions and big ideas, but just like everyone else, we come up against resistance. We come into times where we set those big goals, maybe you did it early in January where you thought about maybe this is the year that I'm going to cross that 6, 7 or 8 figure mark in my business. Maybe this is the year that you decided I really want to write my book. I want to speak on stages. I want to launch that course. Or maybe this is the year you decided I want to do that marathon, or this is the year that I get into the best health of my life. I have had more crazy ideas and big dreams and big goals then probably anyone that I have known. And in the beginning I would hold back. I wouldn't tell people my big dreams because they would be met with criticism, with sometimes laughter, or a lot of questions, How are you going to do that? But I think that no matter who you are, no matter what age you are, no matter where you live, I believe that dreams and visions and ideas are gifted to us, and they come through our minds and our souls with an invitation, and it is only when we are willing to do the work and accept the invitation that we get the bonus of really creating an amazing and incredible life. I don't think that anyone gets ideas or visions, or those nagging little thoughts that keep you up at night just to be an irritation. I think they come to us for a reason, and I think it is our job to follow them, especially when they won't leave you alone. I also believe that ideas and dreams don't last forever, and if we don't latch on to them, sometimes they just keep moving on and they'll find the next person to bring them to life. I take my ideas and dreams pretty seriously.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:45] Today I want to talk about, as you may have had that big dream or that big vision, how do you next take the step to bring it to life? When reality sinks in, when you've got kids to get to school and bills to pay, and all of the distractions, when you just get tired or you get sick, how do you stay on course even when things get hard? I'm a big fan of Steven Pressfield's work. He's written many books. Two of my favorites are The War of Art and Do the Work, and Steven Pressfield talks about the concept of a resistance, and that he believes that the greater a task or goal is to our soul's evolution, the more resistance we will face in coming to achieve it. This, although it sounds somewhat daunting, it gave me a feeling of ease and flow because I thought maybe if resistance is supposed to show up, if it's supposed to be a little bit scary, or maybe terrifying, maybe that's just part of it. And when I accepted that fear and anxiety and that sense of dread or terror sometimes is just part of the journey, I knew to expect it, and I didn't let it stop me in pursuit of my big goals. Now, I'll tell you in 2023 I set some really big goals. I launched the Anchored Leadership Academy, which was a thought that had been a seed in my mind for years. It was something I really wanted to do, but I needed to learn so much about online courses and how to set them up, and how to market and then create all the content. But the idea wouldn't leave me alone. And this past year, I decided I'm doing it, even though I don't know everything that I need to know, even though I don't have all of the places set out, even though I didn't have someone really close to me that I could call on to help be a mentor or a guide for that, I was willing to follow and find the courses that I need to bring that to action. I was able to follow it through because that sense of a calling or this idea needed to come to life. It felt bigger than me. And when I felt that I just needed to be of service to that idea, and I stayed in service to other people, to the participants that would be in that program that wanted to grow and establish their businesses and move towards greater senses of leadership themselves, when that calling became bigger than me, it felt so much easier to serve.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:34] And then when the resistance came in that said, you don't know what you're doing and you don't know how to launch an online course, you don't know how to do all of these tech things. When the vision became bigger than me, I felt that I had a duty to figure it out no matter what. Even if it wasn't perfect, I had to push through, and it was something that I was the most proud of over this past year, including the podcast. That was another big learning thing for me. The reason I tell you this is not because I want you to think about your dreams need to look like mine. I know you have your own. I know that there are ideas that have been nagging at you, maybe for years, that aren't leaving you alone, that feel bigger than you. And I want you to just start to think about moving on them this year, because I know the power that this can hold when you start to achieve those things in your life, and you start to follow that service model where you're just using your time to create the life that you want, but it also serves other people. I think this changes our communities and I want you to be a part of it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:47] Okay. Number one. When I talk about moving forward, when I'm talking about productivity, I'm not talking about productivity for the sake of how many tasks can you get done in a day that maybe don't land. They don't feel like they're really contributing to your life. You don't feel like your life got any better, you just got more done. That's not the productivity I'm talking about. I'm talking about productivity in the direction of your dreams. I'm talking about bringing that thing to life. Here's the pieces that I think are required to do that. And I'm going to share these things with hopefully some inspiration, that feeling of, I'm going to go with you, I'm going to do it with you, I want to be excited with you. But I'm also going to share some tough love, because if you want to create the life you crave, you have to put some skin in the game. It's not going to come easily. Opportunities do not knock at your door. That you don't just get to put in time doing something and being available and showing up and that those things come up. You, I believe you have to meet it halfway. You have to be ready. You have to have your head up and be prepared and do the work so that when opportunity comes your way, you're ready for it. You have the energy, you have the systems, you have the knowledge in place that you need to take it to that next spot.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:06] I don't think it just comes to you. No matter how many affirmations you've done, no matter how many meditations, I think you have to put action to those systems. So the first thing I think is critically important is creating clarity. I think we need to get really clear. My question that I came back to throughout 2023 was, what if it all works out? What if everything that I am dreaming about, everything that I'm working towards, everything that I'm trying to put into the world, what if it all just worked out exactly as I wanted it to? What would that look like? What would it feel like? Who would be there? How would I use that money, that time, that platform to reach to other people? And I got really clear on how that would feel and not only what my goal was, but I attached it to why do I want it? I think a lot of people have goals related to revenue, for example. So you want to close seven figures in business this year. My next question for you is how would those seven figures create the life you crave? What would you do with it? Who would you help? How would you spend it? Would you travel the world? Would you buy a fancy vehicle? Would you buy a vacation property? And then I would ask you again if you bought the car, if you bought the vacation property, if you took the holiday, why? What would that be in your life? How would that contribute? So if I am really destined that I want to make seven figures so that I can take beautiful holidays, the reason I want to take beautiful holidays is because I want to have invested time with friends and family that includes exploring a new place. I just think that is the perfect combination of novelty, excitement and connection. When I get clear and I keep following Why do you want that? Why do you want that? Why do you want that? When I land on the truth of what the clarity is for why I want that, what that desire, that goal is going to be in creating the life that I want, that's when I know that I've drilled down and I'm clear on what I truly want. And I don't think when we set goals, we go far enough. So if you can keep asking yourself, why do I want that? What would that mean in my life? What would that give to me? If you have an answer for that, every time you state what you want, go a little bit deeper and a little bit deeper and a little bit deeper until you feel this sense of release. That's it. That is a level of clarity that I'm looking for when you want to achieve the big dreams.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:17] Okay now, next. Once you get that clarity, once you know what you want, why you want it, and what your life will look like when you get there, then we need to have self-discipline. I think the higher that we get in our companies when we are leading families, many of us as high performers are the leaders in our families. Other people look to us to be the planner, to be the organizer, to take the dream, the goal, whatever it is, and to lead the way for others. But often no one is leading us. No one is holding you accountable to say, did you get there? Did you do that? Did you check those boxes off your task list? Are you progressing towards that really big dream or goal? And I think the more of a leader or a driver that you are in your life, the less people you have that hold you accountable. A) I think because they don't think you need it. And then I'm actually going to push a little bit farther, because I think that when you are the driver, the planner, the leader, the one who's pushing the boundaries in your friend group, in your life, in your family, when you are that person - I almost want to whisper this - but I think there are some times where your friends or family won't hold you accountable. They don't want to push you because it makes them uncomfortable. There are times where your friends, your family, the people that you really love and care about, they might say things to you like, I don't know why you're getting up so early in the morning. I don't know why this is so important. You just need to put your feet up and take a break. Don't worry about it. You just need to rest, have some fun. And I'm not saying that any of those things are wrong, but what you want to know is that if you're pursuing something big, if you've got a big dream, you have to be disciplined in the pursuit of that because you can't rely on others to do it for you. And the way that we do that is we get really clear on our goals, we get clear on that bigger picture, and then we create solid routines with our time that put us in the direction of our goals. So every single week, you should know exactly what tasks you need to do to get you a step closer to your goal. Now, I'm not saying that has to be a big step. It could be something really small. It could be reaching out to someone. It could be learning a very specific task or skill that you need to move forward. It could be that you're just going to do one little part of writing that email or putting together that sales post or making that call that you've maybe been putting off.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:12] But often if you don't do it, no one is going to ask you about it. No one is going to push you forward. So you have to be able and willing to hold yourself accountable. So personally, the way that I do this is you need to get it out in front of you. I think that when we have visual tasks listed out with a checkbox, it's like we make ourselves a to-do list, but our to-do list is designed to lead us toward our bigger goals. I actually also suggest writing it. I'm a big fan of old-school pencil and paper calendars and agendas. I automate a lot of things in my life, and I use technology for many, many things in my business, but when it comes to planning my time and doing this kind of work, I believe that pen and paper is the way to do it. Because I think when you write a goal in your handwriting and your voice, it slows you down and it just allows you to be that much more accountable. It's not as easy as saying, oh, I didn't get that done, so I'm just going to highlight it and delete it as if it was never there. When you've written it in pen in your agenda, it holds you to a greater standard that you'll stick to it. So that's how I like to do it. So self-discipline is number two. Clarity is number one, self-discipline is number two. And recognizing you're going to have to do it yourself and setting yourself up with systems that hold you to it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:48] The third is self-regulation. Now, I believe self-regulation is really the lifelong challenge as a human being. We know that there are going to be times where we come up against tough obstacles or that people will set us off or trigger us. We'll see a post that breaks our heart. Self-regulation is the ability to consciously adjust your reaction to whatever comes your way. And I'd love to tell you, when you look at people like the Dalai Lama or people who have spent multitudes of time in leadership, they almost seem unshakable, that it doesn't matter kind of what gets tossed their way, markets are crumbling, people are upset, customers are losing it, and they have this sense of a foundation. I call this being anchored. This is the central piece of everything that I do. It is this sense of not that we don't react, it's not a matter of not caring or non-reaction. This anchoring is a sense of deep caring. It's a sense of knowing that I have the power to change the way other people feel. I am aware of how my words and my actions can create a ripple effect on others, and I use that with intention. I know what I want to bring into the world. I know what I want to create and I know how I want to do that. I know that part of my gift is helping people to see the patterns in their life, to reveal or go through a process of reflection, and then giving them the steps where they start to feel like they can create the change in their life that they really want, that moves them in the direction of their dreams. And I do that by helping people feel like I believe in them, but also sharing some hard truths. I don't want to be this overly dramatic, everything is great, rose-colored glasses, unicorns, rainbows, all of that. That's not who I am. But I do want to be that place of safety. I want to anchor in that ability for people to come to me with whatever they are facing. And the number of times that people will say to me, I know this sounds terrible, what I'm really thinking is [blank]. When you can create that place of safety and stability for others, I think it's something we can be really proud of. Now, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you that I never get upset or that I don't lose my cool sometimes over the simplest things.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:44] I argue with my spouse. I get mad at the dog. I do things, I am impatient in traffic. Sometimes those things happen. But I am on a path where I really want to be more in control of intentionally using that energy in the path that I want. Now, the way I want to do this for my goals is that you need to be expected that when you have big goals and big dreams, there are going to be naysayers. There are going to be people that knock you off course, that tell you it's impossible or that you can't do it. There may be people who really deliberately try to block your success, or we get in our own mind where we think this is impossible. This is a crazy idea. It's too much work. I don't know what I'm doing, and we block ourselves. Self-regulation says expect the resistance, know that it's coming. And when you have big dreams and big goals, it's going to come with even more strength and power. Face it. You don't have to let your emotions and your behavior follow that temporary thought that came into your life. You can face it with this, Okay, I see that I'm feeling really anxious and overwhelmed right now, my thoughts are in a really negative place, so I'm just going to hit the pause button and I'll come back to it, maybe later on. The routines through your self-discipline are what allow you to overcome when the resistance gets to be too big. Many people who don't reach this level of tenacity in their lives will allow their emotion or the way that they feel to guide their behavior. So if they don't feel like it, if they're not feeling confident, if they don't feel like they've got the courage to do the thing that they need to get done, they just don't do it. They wait for the confidence to come. People who are self-disciplined say it doesn't matter actually how I feel. I'm going to get it done. And we know that there's maybe a multitude of things that we can do. So maybe if you're feeling really a lack of confidence, that's not the best day to write a marketing email or that's not the best day to make that sales call, but you have steps in place that you know are going to get you closer to your goal, and you are disciplined to say, even if I'm not aligned, my energy is not aligned with doing that task today, I know that there are three other things that I can do that will still move me forward on that trajectory to where I'm wanting to go. And the self-discipline in those routines get you in the habit. And here's a fun fact, when you start to do those things and you check those off your list, so you've done some of these other tasks that maybe didn't require you to feel as confident.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:40] So if you are thinking, oh, I really need to do the speaking engagement, one of your steps is you need to find out when it is and what the deadline is for speaking applications. And if there is a theme to the conference. And you look that up and you separate that from actually writing it, or maybe you say, okay, I'm going to write out 80% of it, I'm going to fill in all the background, I'm going to give all my links, I'm going to do all of that. Inevitably, once you start to get traction on some of those just tasks, what happens is your body goes, oh, she's really serious about this. She actually does want to pursue. And your thoughts and your emotions change. And the next thing you know, you can take on that sales call. You can write that application to do the speaking engagement. You can take that next step because you've got action in place that drives the way you feel. So self-discipline and self-regulation are so closely connected, they do a dance with each other, but one does not exist without the other.

[00:23:50] One of the best things I did last year was launch the Anchored Leadership Academy group coaching program. We had our first group go through in the fall of this year, and let me tell you, it was incredible. We gathered a group of established entrepreneurs who really want to move forward in their leadership. So developing their teams, being able to give great feedback, delegating well to move to that next stage of business. The next cohort is going to start in February and doors are open now for applications. All you need to do is click on the link in the show notes, have a read, see if it feels like a good fit for you, and then book an inquiry call. That's it. Hope to see you there. All right, back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:24:33] The next is, narrow your focus. When you have a big goal in place you want to imagine that you're limiting the distractions. It's like when a horse is racing and they put those little guides on their eyes. It's so that they can see where they're headed. I want you to think of it in the same way. I know that all of us have so many distractions. There are numerous things that are going to come into your life that are going to take your attention. Things not only that you will feel pulled to - my kid is sick, my parent needs, you know, me to drive them to a medical appointment, or maybe a friend calls you up and says, oh, I've got this really exciting thing planned, you should come. When you have clear goals, you need to know what is a clear no, what is just that is not aligning with where I want to be anymore.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:31] Get solid on that. I want you to imagine it like a policy. This is a policy in my life. I don't do that anymore. So that might be related to a health goal. I don't drink alcohol anymore. Period. I don't stay out until 3:00 in the morning dancing in pubs anymore. So I developed things myself this year where I was able to say, I don't do that anymore. I don't do pick-your-brain meetings with people who I gut-know are wanting free advice. I no longer take meetings in person for coaching clients. The reason that I've done that is because I need to be so protective of my time, and investing it in moving some of these big things forward that I'm wanting to develop, that I really needed to be conscious of how much time I was spending traveling.

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:03] Now, you might do this for a short time. You might say, I'm not doing these types of appointments for this amount of time. I'm not taking meetings before a certain time of day, because I've got some really big projects that I need to move forward. And you create that boundary or that block on your time. We need to get really, really clear on that, because the hard truth is, I think when we think of boundaries and we think of saying no, we have this little voice in our head that thinks, oh, well, we're just saying no to the things that we don't really want to do anyway. Sometimes you are saying no or not right now to things that you do like, that you do feel are aligned or that you can actually do, but you're saying, not right now. So you have to be able to sit with that discomfort of a) letting other people down, but recognize you might let yourself down as well. You might really think, oh, that sounds fun, I'd really like to spend Thursday afternoon having lunch with a friend, but you know you've got this really big deadline coming up. And when you looked back at your self-discipline in the routine you created, you know that you've got some things that you need to get done so maybe you need to put that meeting off or ask if you can meet on a weekend or in an evening. I'm not saying that we go all in on one focus and all we do is work. That's not it at all. What I'm saying is you need to get really disciplined on how you're using your time and what you're saying yes to, and expect that some of those things are not going to be easy to put off or to delay.

Kari Lotzien: [00:28:43] Okay. The last little area in our little masterclass today is, this is my favorite tool when it comes to being productive: I cluster my energy tasks. Now what the heck does that mean? So I think of every task that I need to do in terms of three categories. Do I need physical energy, do I need mental energy or do I need social energy? And then I put all of the tasks that require that type of energy together in my daily routine. So what that looks like. So physical energy, these are things like I need physical energy to go and get things done, run errands, get groceries, be out in the community, do my exercising. Physical energy often has a lot of movement associated with it and can have a lot of distraction simply because as we're moving, we're encountering other people. Distractions are going to come up, but it doesn't tend to require the same level, sometimes, of mental focus. So I get really conscious that when I'm in a big crunch, when I'm moving forward on a big goal, I am solid on my errands. I do not go into town to run errands more than once a week, and there's times where I will even say, nope, I'll order online or I'm not even going to leave my house because I need to absorb that energy. Because once I get out there, it may take 3 or 4 hours to get the things done that I need to do, and I really need to preserve and protect that time. So I'll just cluster it so that I'm not trying to do a meeting and then run one errand, and then I try to return a phone call or do a sales call and then go, oh, now I can zip into the bank, or I can return that quick email. When you bounce back and forth between these types of energy, what happens is your system needs to reset. It needs to recalibrate for what you are asking it to do next. And every time there's a transition between these different types of energy, it's taxing your system and it's taking time to transition. So when you cluster, a) you're going to be faster. And when you take time to plan this, you will be able to look at not only your errands, but to say, okay, I actually, I have a system or a list. I like to use Asana or a project management tool to organize all parts of my life. So I will have a Costco list in my Asana. So any time during the two weeks, I will just add in what I need to remember to pick up so I'm more aware as I move throughout my day, Oh, this is getting low. But I try to prevent myself from those last minute, Oh, now I all of a sudden we've run out of toilet paper and I need to go and do that. So I try to get ahead of it, but then I think, oh, right now I need to also go to this other place. When I'm planning my time, when I'm doing errands, I'm also looking at a map and how things are laid out and how I could be most effective in using that time. So I cluster it together.

Kari Lotzien: [00:32:00] Mental energy. These are tasks that require you to focus in. So these are your big projects. This is when you need to get into flow state to be creative, to do analysis, to come up with a plan, to write that book, to plan that speech, to create that content for your new course. Mental energy requires often less physical energy. I'm going to say that again because if you're fitting your mental tasks, so if you are doing errands and you're running to meetings and you're very physically active, and then you take a half hour and you say, oh, I'm going to plan my content creation in this half hour, what you'll find is your mind and body are going too fast to be able to really focus in and slow your attention, to be able to get into that flow state, to be really creative. So you want to separate them. I realized this year that for me to get into flow state, if I left it too late in my week, so even if I planned my flow state time where maybe I did block out 2 or 3 hours, which I now know that is the time that it takes for my brain and body to slow down enough that I can start to be creative in my process. But when I put that too late in the week, what would happen is the tasks, all of the busyness, all of the distractions and things other people were asking me to do in those last minute meetings would creep into this time, and I would find it really hard to slow down. And I would find it hard to carve out that time and to protect it, because I would have more requests that have built up by that point in my week. So now I've shifted it and I start every week. My Mondays are my creative time. The great thing is, I've often had a bit of a slower pace on the weekend, I've had some time to connect socially with people, and my nervous system is in a state where I'm more easily reaching that flow state. When I know that I don't have a lot of appointments and things scheduled on Mondays, I don't get that Sunday anxiety that I used to before. When I have space and I come into my Monday knowing that I have space and time set aside for my creative content creation, podcast content, all of these types of things, it allows me to kind of set my intention for the rest of the week. So I use my content creation, and I use this creativity to think of how am I going to show up for my clients, how am I going to show up in meetings for the remainder of the week? And it almost sets my week ahead. So just think about for you how that works out. Where are your best pockets where you can focus in on your mental energy? Where maybe you don't have as many distractions? It's an easier time for you to kind of slow down and get into that state where your body can go into that creative mode or planning.

Kari Lotzien: [00:35:04] The other thing I use my mental time for is planning my activities. So I plan ahead. I get really conscious in thinking how am I going to set my schedule so that I'm meeting the demands of what I want to do to move that big goal or that big dream forward? I think when we are reactive and we just try to fit our big goals into our existing appointments, our existing demands that are often created by someone else, this is when we set ourselves up to fail, because then our dreams don't get space. They don't get literal space in our calendar. So take your mental time to plan out your schedule. And I tend to do this both a month ahead, so I can see the flow. Again, I come back to my paper calendar because I want to be able to see space. I use arrows, so if something is a half day, I can see visually that it's occupying a half day. We don't get this often in our other calendars, so I do tend to run two calendars, which I know maybe doesn't sound as efficient, but for me it allows me to see exactly what the flow and what things feel like when I write them into my calendar and I see how much space they take, and then I review it on a weekly basis. So I review it Monday morning. Are there things that I've committed to that I can't do or do I have additional space where I could maybe slot in some additional tasks? And then I look at it again on Friday and I move tasks that, if there's things that need to be moved to the next week or that I really reflect on what took my time this week, where did I maybe get off track, so that I learn and consciously write my lesson for the week ahead. So that I don't keep doing that same pattern over and over again and next thing you know, that big goal, or the big dream or the big project that I had, next thing you know, we're six months down the road and I haven't made any progress. So I take control of my calendar.

Kari Lotzien: [00:37:01] And then the last type of energy is social. So I have physical energy, mental energy, social energy. Social energy is what fills me back up through connection. Now I feel really blessed this way because I get to have that social connection as well with clients. When I get to meet with someone and we plan ahead and we start talking strategy, and I give them some tools and strategies on how to have a hard conversation or how to implement a hiring process into their business. Or we talk about what they want to do with their time next, and we brainstorm around a project and then we break it down together so it starts to feel really doable. And they can see that progress. When I get to do that, it fills my energy up. It doesn't matter how I feel sometimes at the beginning of the day if I haven't slept well. When I have these types of engagements with my clients, I always leave with more energy than what I started with. So I feel like that's a bonus. And when I think about social, you want your social time to feel like it's building your energy. You want to make sure that you're connecting with people who are raising you up, who are challenging you, and who are in a state where they're also really creating their own lives. They're the types of people who show up for life. They love to plan things. They like adventure, or they like reaching goals and pushing themselves. When we merely put ourselves in the same space, you will find that your energy comes up. You know that there are people who maybe you love, but who deplete your energy a little bit. When you're moving forward, you just, I'm not saying cut them out of your life, but I'm saying you might want to limit your time and you might want to just get really solid on when do I have space and time? So when we talked about narrowing your focus and saying no to certain things you might be really conscious of when you spend time with people, or you limit the amount of time you spend with the people who kind of draw your energy down. So just getting solid and clear on that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:39:09] My hope is that this episode has given you some ideas on productivity with a twist that when you have that big dream or that vision that just keeps nagging at you, I want this to be the year that you get some traction on it, that you start to bring it to life. Because I think that when we sit back and we wait for those opportunities to come to us, we might just be so busy in the day-to-day existence, in getting our errands done and getting our tasks done, that we don't raise our heads long enough to see the opportunity. But what I know is that when we meet those opportunities halfway, when we do our part, when it comes to getting crystal clear on what you want and why you want it, what is it going to mean for your life, then you add the self-discipline and getting those routines in place. You know the structure on how to get there. You work through your self-regulation and your resistance. You know how to regulate your own nervous system so that when those challenges come up, when you don't feel confident, you still make progress. You narrow your focus. You know what you're giving your time to, and then you cluster your energy into those three areas of physical, mental, and social tasks. This sets you up. It creates the foundation so that then when those opportunities come up, your head is up, you're ready for them, and you know, you end up with this feeling of, I'm ready, I've got it. I'm ready to meet you where you are.

Kari Lotzien: [00:40:49] I love working with high performers and visionaries. If this episode resonated with you and you've got some big goals in your business this year, and maybe you've heard yourself saying things like, oh, I don't know. I don't know if I can just keep doing all of the things anymore. I've got so many things on my to-do list that this big goal of writing a book, launching a course, or taking that big opportunity just seem a little bit out of reach. And I know that I need to do something different in my business so that I have space to do this, check out the Anchored Leadership Academy. It might be a great fit for you. We go through week by week ten modules on how to set your business up so that you're ready for the next step. It really focuses in on being anchored leader so that we're building our teams. We're creating communities to help support moving this vision forward. And we do it through empowering others, through building together. If it sounds like something that's interesting to you, click on the link in the show notes and just let's hop on a call, we can chat about if it feels like it would be the right thing for you this year. Thanks so much for being here. Remember to like and subscribe. I'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:42:05] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

21 - Success Strategies for Each Phase of Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000

Something really successful people often do, when telling their stories of rags to riches or hardship to success, is they sort of gloss over the decade or so in between difficult struggle and amazing achievements. But it’s in that between time where the work is really done. And I think we need to hear how to actually navigate that decade or so when our business goes from brand new to an established organization. That’s what I’m talking about today. About the growth years of business. About the stages that are necessary for every business to move through.

I like to think of these phases as similar to human development. We start in the infant stage, move through to childhood, then to teenage years, and finally to young adulthood. Our businesses are not that different. They start in infancy, take steps in childhood growth, become independent teens, and finally are fully grown, young adults. When we think about our businesses in this manner, it’s easy to define the stages that we need to take our business through. But how do we realize success in each stage? What are the right things to do when?

Do we start right off with strong marketing and an omnipresent social media presence when we’re just in the infant phase? Or is that the time for market research and developing our customer service? When should we hire? When should our focus simply be on client experience? When should we expand our offerings? What feedback do we allow to shape our business? These are the things I talk about in today’s episode: the strategies we need to employ in each phase of business. Some things can be left until the teen phase. Some things can’t wait and need to be taken care of in infancy. Knowing when to do which thing in business, and how, is half of the journey to success. Let’s start looking at how businesses flourish like little children with the right parenting.

Key Moments

05:00 First step: infant phase

14:24 Second step: child phase

23:33 Third step: teen phase

How do we know if we’re taking on the wrong feedback and expanding too fast?
Has the ideal client for our business been identified? Who do we serve?
Do we want to constantly be attracting new clients or focus on repeat business?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:13] Hello my friends. Thanks so much for being here. I love a good rags to riches story as much as the next person. I really can get so enthralled with a great novel or book or biography or podcast where someone is showcased who has gone from hardship, whether that is coming from absolutely nothing, and then building this empire of, you know, multiple 7 or 8 figures and have gone on to leave a legacy or to change their communities or give back. I can get completely enticed by a story of someone who is living on their sister's couch or battling the throes of addiction, who has then gone on to develop their own small business and then grown it to multiple seven figures and have really created a life that is sustainable and also does great things for the world. But I'm noticing that so many of these really successful people, and I say that in quotations because we're all human, and I think when we listen to the intricacies of those podcasts, you'll start to see that people are more similar, even if they have multiple 7 or 8 figures. Their fears are the same, their challenges are similar. They just come with a different package. But I think that piece that I feel is missing in a lot of these interviews, I think they give it lip service, they'll talk about, you know, I didn't get to this level of success in the last year or two. It's taken me a decade or longer. But I feel like they fast forward through what happens in those ten years to help get that traction, to build over time. And I think that there's this image out there that if we just have the right marketing, if we have the right hashtag, if we have a beautiful website, that that is the key that unlocks success, that that's how people, customers, will find us, give us their money and then the rest is history.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:23] And I feel that this pattern is hurting a lot of small business owners, because I think that what's happening is we do all these things, we market, but then we don't see the results that we want to see, and it feels like something is wrong. And we feel like if we try harder, if we put in more hours, that we should be getting ahead. I want to talk today about strategies for small business during those ten years, and I like to compare it to human development. Thinking of your business at an infant stage, a child stage, a teen phase, and then a young adult phase where your business needs different things from you at different times. And I want to share with you the common mistakes that I see, some of the myths that are out there, and give you some ideas on defining first what stage your business is at, and then giving you some tips and tricks on where do you focus your attention? Where do you give your energy? Because no matter who you are, no matter where you live, no matter what supplements you are taking to develop your neurotropic health or look after your protein or your sleep, you are still human and you need to look after and really nurture your own energy. That's how you're going to be in this game long term.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:52] So let's start off by just talking about the phase of business that you're at and kind of see where it goes from there. The first stage is that infant phase. I think of these businesses at a start up phase where the owner or the founder has an idea, they have found a product or a service that they feel the world needs. And they often have incredible passion and excitement behind it. We've all seen these startups. Maybe you were one. I know I was one back in the day where I was so excited about what I was going to offer. And I just felt like I needed to let people know about it. And that's all it would take to open the doors to fame and fortune. At the infant stage, like a very small child, your business will keep you up at night. It demands so much of your energy, your attention, your time, your focus, your bank account. Right? This is the stage where you put it all out on the floor and you go all in. Now, if you've started as a side hustle, that's fine too. It's not that much different. But you know that even as a side hustle, that might mean that you're doing your 9 to 5 job and paying your bills through that. But your business at a startup phase or an infant stage is taking up your evenings and your nights and your weekends as you try to make it viable, as you see it, is this thing going to survive? And it takes so much of us at that point.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:29] Now, for a lot of us at this early stage, it doesn't feel awful because we do have that passion. We have the belief, we have the goal, we have the drive, we have the energy. It feels amazing to think and dream ahead of what this business might be. And I compare it to being the parent of an infant, where all of a sudden you start to imagine who is this little person going to be as they grow up and you feel so responsible for feeding them and making sure that they look cute and they're clean and they're looked after, it's that similar type of engagement where you're just all in. You're so attached to the outcome because you feel like for this business to survive, it needs you. It needs so much of you. And many of the time we're willing to give it because of that passion and that excitement. The mistake that I think I see a lot of business owners make at that startup or early phase, is that we invest our time and energy in the wrong things. We have a product or a service, an idea, and we focus our our time and our energy on marketing. We spend too much money on a fancy website, or you focus on getting your Facebook page up and running and doing marketing campaigns and having all kinds of fancy things to build a clientele. And the mistake that I think we make here is that when you focus on marketing or the fancy website too soon and you don't have clientele that are drawn to the idea of what you're actually selling, the product or the service itself, I think we fall short and it's putting the cart before the horse.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:23] My advice to anyone at this stage of development when you're in the startup phase, I think our primary attention and energy needs to be on market research. I think you have an initial idea of who your client is going to be and what they're going to want, and that they will pay for it. And too often I think that we don't always address does your client want what you're selling? Do they see a need for it in their own life? Too often with startups, and I say this with love and compassion because I can tell you, this is the hardest part for me as a business and leadership coach when I see someone and they have such an amazing idea, and then I think, okay, but if you're having to sell the idea that someone needs what you're offering and they don't see the need for it, you're almost creating a mountain for them to climb before you sell the product or service. It just makes it that much harder. So making sure that the client that you're identifying or that you think will need your product is actually interested.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:33] Number two, will they pay for it? They might think you have a really great idea, but they don't want to pay for it. Or there might be something out there that's already available to them for free or for really low low cost. It is hard to build a business off of something that people can get elsewhere for free. Now, you might tell me that your product is better, or that your service is that much greater that people will pay for it. If that is your theory, test it. Make sure that the customers that you've identified feel the same way and they're willing to invest in it. And then you want to ask flat out how much are they willing to pay? Because you might have this incredible idea that you think people are going to pay a lot of money for, and then you find out very quickly into it after you've spent all the money on the fancy website and the great marketing, and you've got all of the social media out there, and then you recognize that actually people do think it's a great idea, but they're not willing to pay for it. Or they're not willing to pay what you need it to be worth for your time and energy. So I think you do need to have a way to let people know what you're doing. But a very basic business page on social media and a very basic website can do that. It holds a space for you without investing a lot of time and energy in showcasing all of your fancy products or services, because I feel like the more complex something is from the outset, the more attached we get to it. So when you create something simple that just merely lets people know what you're doing, and then you focus your energy and attention on developing your ideal client, developing your product or service. So if people are interested, have them test it out for you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:25] I'm a huge fan of beta testing at this stage. It doesn't matter what you're doing. Offer a discount for people to try out your product or service in exchange for getting their feedback. You want their honest input. Now with all, again, love and respect, we want to make sure that we're getting feedback from the people who we perceive are going to be your customers, or from mentors who have gone before you. If your partner, who adores you and loves you, thinks this is a great idea, that's wonderful. That is not market research. If your mom or your very best friend thinks this is a great idea and that people are going to pay you so much for it, again, wonderful to have that support and that nest where you can feel supported, but that is not market research. Market research is the hard truth from people who you think are going to be your customers. Have them evaluate your product or service. How is this experience for you? What is one thing that I could do to make it even better? Or what is one thing that you would suggest we change to make this more attractive to you? This is the place where you want to hold loosely. Don't get so stuck on your idea. You want to get feedback so that you can hone in on what your product or service is. I think at that infant stage where you really want to be focusing in is make sure you've got something that is viable, make sure that you have a product or service that people are willing to pay for, and it's good. And have someone look at that through beta testing or something like that. So the number one, keep it simple. At this stage, you are really focusing 100% of your energy on building your reputation. If you're selling a product, you want to make sure it's a good product and that the value is there. It doesn't matter what the price point is, if it has a really high price point, then it needs to have really significant value. If it is a low price point, you still want it to reflect the value that people are paying. Keep it simple.

[00:13:38] One of the best things I did last year was launch the Anchored Leadership Academy Group Coaching program. We had our first group go through in the fall of this year, and let me tell you, it was incredible. We gathered a group of established entrepreneurs who really want to move forward in their leadership. So developing their teams, being able to give great feedback, delegating well to move to that next stage of business. The next cohort is going to start in February and doors are open now for applications. All you need to do is click on the link in the show notes, have a read, see if it feels like a good fit for you, and then book an inquiry call. That's it. Hope to see you there. All right, back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:24] The next step is that child phase. So this stage of business is when you know that your product or service is something that people are interested in. It's something that they're willing to pay for. And it starts to now have some leverage where you've got money coming in, you've got revenue, clients are paying. At this stage, we can really start to stretch. At the child phase I always say this is when we need to be cautious of your business becoming a monster, where it overtakes your time and your energy. Because when we're at an infant stage and we're trying so hard to just develop this business and develop this idea and put it out into the world, we get so excited when people actually get on board and they pay us for that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:17] But very quickly it can morph. And now your clients or your customers, whoever is buying, can decide now well, you should also offer this. Or what about this other product or service or oh, here's a really cool idea. And I see a lot of business owners at this phase start to follow shiny things. And we try, especially if you have a background as people pleaser, which many of us do, we'll start to stretch farther and farther and farther by offering too many products or services. We have too many offerings, we have too much inventory, and we're trying to do too many things or sell too many products to a single customer. What happens at this phase is that you can start to feel too stretched, stretched way too thin. When I was at a child phase in my business, and I've had it happen now more than once, where I would create an exceptional service that people really did want.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:54] So I focused on the right thing at the infant stage. But then when I moved to the child phase, people were attracted to it. This is a good sign. If you've got something great, people will want it. But when they share with you but I can't afford it, you might start to feel like, oh, then you need to lower your price. This is when you need to really get real with yourself and decide who do you serve? Who is your ideal client? If your ideal client that you really want your product or service to reach, if that person can't afford it or they don't see the value in it, you absolutely need to either increase the value, change your product or service so that it meets a higher standard, or you need to lower your price. But if you have the value in your product, if you have the standard and people want it and are willing to pay for it, and then you have a different group of people who just can't afford it and don't see the value, you don't want to lower your price to meet that. You might have a different offering or something, or you decide those are not your ideal clients and that can be difficult.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:07] At the child phase this is really where you need to decide solidly, who do I serve? Who is my ideal client? What are they willing to pay? And you narrow it because if you go the other way and you start to try to develop something for this price point, and then you develop something different for another price point, and then you develop a third thing for a different price point, or different people want different things from you, you start to dilute your offering and it loses its strength. And I see in a lot of businesses that do this, when they start to diversify or have too many products or services, the quality and the standard of the service or product they offer drops. And this is where your reputation can take a really big hit. I think this is the demise of a lot of small businesses who hit that phase of This was viable, people wanted it, but then they start to try and go too broad too quickly and it fails. So I think in this stage of business, the focus is really defining who is my customer, who is my client, and do they see the value in my product? And then you narrow again to developing excellence. Because no matter what phase of business you're at, I am old school, I feel that still the number one best marketing strategy out there is word of mouth referrals. That when your customers and clients love what you're doing and they rave about your product or service, they're going to tell others, and those people will then grow exponentially to want to deal with you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:43] This is where you want to stay focused in on your customer service and developing a reputation of excellence. I always think we need to be service forward. Instead of focusing on your website and your marketing and your copywriting and worrying about your social media, focus on your service. When customers come to you, do they rave about the experience? Do they love what you're providing? And are they telling other people? If they're not, if you are not getting a substantial number of your customers or clients coming to you from raving fans, then you need to go back and look at your service delivery model, and you need to come back to that infant phase to go back to doing beta testing, to get feedback from customers who you think are your ideal and say, let me have it. What could I be doing better? Where are my gaps? Where are my holes? Where do I need to change? Hold on to it loosely. Don't go into defense mode. We're not trying to sell something to people that they don't need. Business gets really easy when we align what we do with what people want, and then you just rinse and repeat and you just keep adjusting to make it fit for what they're looking for. This is also the place where now we want to really start looking at efficiencies.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:04] So I think one of the other mistakes that people make is they think that they don't need to look at their systems and their procedures and their efficiencies until they're at a certain size of business or a certain revenue amount. That is not true. Focus on your efficiencies once you've recognized you have a viable product that people are willing to pay for. Now look at how can I make this more efficient? Are there pieces of my business that I can automate? Are there places that I need to maybe delegate or outsource some of my tasks to, so that I can really focus on providing an exceptional experience for my customers and driving that referral relationship? Come back to that. And then the cherry on top at this phase is your marketing. This is now where you know you have a viable product or service. You know people are willing to pay for it. You know that they're seeing the value. So hopefully you've got some social proof where you can be sharing testimonials in your marketing to attract new customers into your business, because now you know that once they come in that funnel, once they've purchased your product or service, you know you can deliver on the other side. There is nothing worse and nothing harder in a business when you're constantly having to attract new customers but they don't return and they don't refer others. Then all of your energy has to come into drawing in new customers all the time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:32] I think that's a weak business model. If you notice that most of your customers are new and you should have a business that people are returning back to and purchasing again, you need to look at your back end. You need to look at your product or service and your delivery and your customer experience. Come right back to beta testing. By this time, you should start to be developing that flywheel where your customers are starting to refer back to you, where you're starting to get some return business. And that is the place where we want to keep that operational and keep that experience for your customer top notch. And then your marketing merely becomes sharing that, sharing what your customers are already saying about you, sharing some of the results that they're getting, and then letting people know, here's what we do. It is so much easier at this place to now start to lean into the marketing. This is what you share on your website. This is where your social media goes.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:34] Okay and now we move into that teen phase of business. So at the teen phase, this is where your business has gotten to a point where maybe you've identified opportunities, or maybe there's something looming on the horizon that's a threat to your business, and you don't have the skill set currently to overcome that or to move through it. This is where I think at the teen phase, we start to build in other people, other resources. I think one of the mistakes that we make at this phase is that people keep stretching. They just keep trying to do more and be more and reach more people without employing help. I think at this phase, I hear a lot of my clients tell me I just need to hire. I just need to get some help. I need to duplicate myself. But what happens at this phase is even if people hire, if you haven't developed exceptional customer service when you were at the child phase of business, or you haven't fully beta tested your current products or services. If you don't have efficiency, adding more people will add to the overhead of your business, and it often amplifies your issues. So the time to really do the hard work, just like raising kids, the time where we really focus on developing great morals and values and teaching work ethic, it's not when kids get their first job when they're 16 years old. It's way back at that infant and child phase. Now, the great thing about business is that we can go back. We can employ some of those strategies in the infant and child phase by just shifting our focus and going back to establishing that different routine. We don't get that in parenthood. But at the teen phase, what we want is you already want to have really clean systems, you want to have great efficiency and you want to have a solid product or service.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:36] Having more people to help you deliver something that's not already efficient will not get you the results that you're looking for. So once you've done that work, once you've dialed in your efficiencies, you've got solid systems in place. You know your product or service is exceptional. Now your focus shifts. This is where I specialize with my clients. So I would say 90% of my clients or more are in this phase between the child and teen phase of business. I love taking businesses from that child to teen phase. And then eventually, if they choose to, to the adult phase where they sell, they retire, or they move to the next phase of their business in succession planning or legacy planning. Now when we shift to teen phase, the business starts to step ahead and it starts to speak for itself, and we train others to take more of that frontline role in the business if we choose to.

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:23] Now, some businesses may not do that. In some businesses, you may continue to have a frontline role, but you're getting more support. You're developing a team for your business. So you might have an operations manager, you may have a CFO, you might have someone who really looks after a lot of that frontline in your business and even maybe some of your strategic planning. At the teen phase of business we really need to shift on developing people's skills. And as passionate as you've been, as much as you have a phenomenal product or a great service, if you don't spend time developing the skills of leadership, the skills of delegation, giving feedback, knowing how to teach or train or mentor someone, if you don't develop those skills, you hold back the success of your business. And I think this is a myth in a lot of places. When we look at business growth, there tends to be an image out there that people are self-made and that they've done it all themselves. And by just being good people or kind people that others like, they develop success.

Kari Lotzien: [00:28:34] And I know that it is so much more than that. I know it from experience. I know it from my clients. I know that it crosses all different industries, that if you don't develop the skill of good leadership, your business will not do as well as it could. Now, I say it that way because I know that there's a lot of business owners that maybe are not really great leaders. They're not great at giving feedback, maybe they're not very emotionally regulated. And we think, oh, but they're earning multiple six figures. This must not be true. And in every one of those situations, I look and think, what could their business be doing? What are they leaving on the table when it comes to revenue by not developing their leadership skills and not spending time really being that CEO of their business, having clear planning, being able to develop mentorship programs. Even if you're a very small business, even if you only have a few employees, developing the skills around leading people will absolutely take you to that next level. Because at a teen phase of business, you can no longer do it all yourself. And if you do, you will hold back the success of your business, I guarantee it. So at this phase, you're focusing on leadership skills. You're continuing to dial in those efficiencies and you're really looking at empowering others. For me, I think this phase is as exciting as that startup and the people who do it well, I think there's a shift that the passion that you had at that very beginning, where you took on this business and you wanted to start to develop something more than yourself and give back to your community, something happens.

Kari Lotzien: [00:30:20] John Maxwell would refer to it almost like a calling where it feels bigger than you, where suddenly you realize that one day your business is going to not need you, where you might retire or move on to something else, or you're going to sell it. When you recognize that we look ahead and we think, okay, what is this going to be when I'm no longer there? And you start to invest your energy and your time and all of the knowledge and the experience that you have in your business, and you start to share it with others, I believe this is how we grow that next generation and how things evolve over time to get better and better and better in business. Because as we keep feeding this forward, our business strengthens. And people bring in new ideas and new perspectives. And when we combine the experience that we've had and the knowledge that we had from the past with new ideas, this is how we move into new trajectories. This is where I can get really excited, because this is where I guide a lot of my clients in having those conversations, developing leadership skills because they're really good at doing it all themselves. They know how to do that. They're good at their business, they've had a certain level of success, but now they start to feel a bit like a newbie again, and they feel a bit like a fish out of water.

Kari Lotzien: [00:31:57] I hope these strategies, and this concept of thinking of your business at different phases and putting the right things in the right order, what you're focusing on right now, has been helpful for you because I have a real passion for small business. I think these are people who are just so genuine in wanting to make the world a better place. I want to see you succeed this year. I want you to have that dream where you feel like things don't have to be hard or don't have to be hard as often, but that you can start to find the fun and the passion in your business again. And I think helping to focus on the right things at the right time and the right phase of your business really does help make those things easier. Thank you so much for being here. If you have not already liked and subscribed to the podcast, please go ahead and share this episode. I'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:32:50] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you're requiring support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

20 - The #1 Communication Skill We Need

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 9 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000

A piece of advice my grandma gave to me before my wedding is what inspired this episode. I asked her, What do you think the key is to a long-lasting marriage? And she said, Well, I think that it’s sometimes you need to not say what you’re thinking. This got me thinking about how much focus we place on speaking well, on communicating our own thoughts in speech and in writing, and on being heard. But just how much do we invest into learning how to listen well? I think listening is a key foundation in building relationships and business, and it’s what I talk about today.

There are many ways we undermine what other people are communicating to us without even meaning to. Some of the ways in which we fail at listening are obvious. Interrupting is one of those obvious rude behaviors. So is talking too much, monopolizing the conversation. We understand those aren’t ideal behaviors yet we still struggle with them. And what about the less obvious ways in which we aren’t listening? Rushing people, hurrying to give advice, overtaking their story with our own.

How can we truly enter into a conversation in which we speak and listen in equal measure? How do we become good listeners? Are there ways to train ourselves out of the bad habits we have that damage our listening skills? There are ways. I’m guilty of all of these things myself but I have found ways to teach myself to listen. Little things I picture or questions I ask that open people up for me to listen to. That’s what I share with you today because listening is just as important in communication as speaking. Are you ready to work on it together?

Key Moments

04:46 Interrupting and speaking too much

07:44 Rushing someone else’s story

13:02 Jumping into somebody else’s story with our own

What is a conversation pizza and how can it help?
How do we redirect a conversation we’ve hijacked back to the original speaker?
What is the objective of a conversation?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:12] Hello my friends, I'm so glad you're here. Today I am sharing an episode with you that was inspired by my grandma. She is going to be 99 years old this year and was married for over 60 years. She is a long standing decades of volunteering and leadership, so I think she might know a thing or two when it comes to communication. And I remember the advice that she gave to me before my wedding. And when I asked her, what do you think the key is to a long lasting marriage? She said, Well, I think it's that sometimes you need to not say what you're thinking. And I kind of laughed. And yet here I am, more than 25 years later, and I still struggle to not always say what I'm thinking. And I'm thinking maybe this is something you struggle with too. And we could chat about it today. Because what I have noticed is that we focus a lot of energy on speaking well, on leading meetings, on public speaking, sharing our ideas in different formats, we spend so much time learning how to communicate our thoughts in writing, writing newsletters, writing ads and marketing. But how much time and investment have you given to really developing your listening skills? I have not read much about it when it comes to leadership books and management and training, and yet I think this is something that we need to come back to. I think it's one of the key foundations in building relationships and business. And it's not one that comes naturally to many of us.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:56] Something that I noticed for myself is that I tend to be a better listener with strangers or people that I don't know very well. I think this is because simply, I just don't know much about them. So there's more things that I can learn that I'm naturally interested in so it's easier for me to stay engaged, to ask more questions, and to be more of an observer and a listener. I've also noticed that I tend to be a worse listener when it comes to either people that I know really well, my own super close family, friends, my husband, but it's also worse when there's a power differential. So when I'm talking to my own kids, I find sometimes I'm not as good of a listener. Or there were probably times when I wasn't as good when I was speaking with my own team and when I was in a management or an ownership position, and I felt that it was my job to tell people what to do, or to give them advice, or to share my thoughts and almost insert my ideas into their mind. Now, I mean, that sounds terrible, but that's why we're here. Self-reflection, safe spaces, I'm going to lead, we're going to do this together. That's just kind of what it's all about here. You might not even recognize that you struggle in terms of listening. I think most people, if we were to ask, are you a good listener, would say, oh, yeah, I'm a pretty good listener, I don't interrupt. But there's more subtle cues to that. So I'm going to share a couple of the things that I'm really working on in noticing myself, and then some tips and strategies on how I'm working through that that might be helpful for you too.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:46] Now, as I referred, interrupting was something that I was terrible at, and it's honestly something that I can tell you with my husband and I, we both do it and we're both trying to be more aware of it. I don't think it's because we don't respect the other person. I do not think that it's because we feel that our ideas are better. Often we just get going and we get excited and there's this interrupting over top of one another as we share more ideas, or we reflect back on a story, or we apply it to a situation. But the bottom line is, when you're interrupting someone else, you're not allowing them to finish their own thought and to get their space in the conversation. No matter how you look at it, no matter who you're with, interrupting is rude. And it's something I've been working really, really hard on. The analogy that has helped me when it comes to interrupting or talking too much, which, if you listen to the episode on networking for the socially awkward, I am one of those people. Sometimes when I get anxious or I get nervous, I talk too much and I will overtake a conversation and it's like anxiety that takes over and it just comes out of my mouth and I'm not really sharing anything of value, I'm just talking. So now I imagine that when I go into a social situation, whether it is a meeting, whether I'm having a one-on-one conversation with someone or I'm in a large group setting, I imagine that there is a pizza in the middle of the table, and I imagine that this pizza is for everyone in the group. So I'm conscious when I speak, it's like I'm taking a piece of that pizza from the pizza of conversation in the group. When I take a piece, that was my turn to share a story, a thought, an idea, and now I should share the rest of the conversation pizza with everyone else.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:50] We've all been in situations where one person takes over the whole conversation and no one else talks. If you can imagine it like a pizza, which to me is a very tangible thing, it would be rude to eat eight pieces of pizza if there was only ten, and then someone else takes one, one other person takes one, and maybe four other people at the table don't get any at all. For me, when I make it tangible like that, I think, okay, that was my piece of pizza. Now, I imagine handing pieces of pizza to everyone else and encouraging them to share, either asking them a question to get them to share in the conversation, or I'm just inviting that feedback. I think interrupting and talking too much, those ones are a little more obvious. These next ones, I think are more subtle and where I want to lean in a little bit.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:44] Something I notice for myself is rushing. That non-verbally when someone is sharing a story, whether it is my kids or my spouse or a colleague, that sometimes I find myself rushing them. And the way this shows up is you might give someone words. So if they get stuck on a word and you notice that and you immediately fill it in, or you finish their sentences for them, or non-verbally you notice yourself doing this yep yep yep. You might think that you're encouraging them, that you're, Oh, yeah, I understand. But when you reflect back on it, there may be a tone of hurry it up, I want you to be finished so that I can have a turn to talk. So even things when you're listening back to yourself, if you see that yep, yep - and it's even worse if it comes with you've diverted your eye gaze or you're looking somewhere else - what that says is hurry up and finish talking, because I have something else that needs my attention, whether that is an email or your phone's going off, or you're noticing something else that's taking your attention, what that says to the other person is that whatever they're saying isn't holding your interest, and you want them to just hurry up and finish.

[00:09:10] One of the best things I did last year was launch the Anchored Leadership Academy Group coaching program. We had our first group go through in the fall of this year, and let me tell you, it was incredible. We gathered a group of established entrepreneurs who really want to move forward in their leadership. So developing their teams, being able to give great feedback, delegating well to move to that next stage of business. The next cohort is going to start in February and doors are open now for applications. All you need to do is click on the link in the show notes, have a read, see if it feels like a good fit for you, and then book an inquiry call. That's it. Hope to see you there. All right, back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:56] The next one is rushing to give advice. And I have to tell you this one I am terrible for. I think it's all the years that I spent, uh, working in the therapy world where people would come to me and they would pay for me to give them advice. Now, that's maybe just an excuse, but what I notice, especially with my own kids or with people that I am supervising or kind of giving advice to, is that I will rush too quickly to share my own thoughts instead of allowing space. So imagine that one of my kids is bringing me a challenge that they're going through. So maybe it's with a friend, or maybe it's with one of their bosses and they're feeling frustrated and they've shared the situation. How many times I let them share the situation, and then I jump in to tell them what they should do. Or I give them my analogy, or my thoughts, or my ideas of what's going on. What I'm really focusing on, and I think the important thing with all of these strategies is it's really difficult to change a habit unless you have something else in mind to replace that with. Right? It's way harder to just stop interrupting someone or to stop finishing words. Whereas if you say okay, instead of saying yep, yep, yep, or giving words or finishing sentences, I'm going to consciously just slowly nod my head to encourage them to keep talking without feeling rushed. When I rush to give advice, and I noticed that in myself, I will now intersect and say, Okay, what are you thinking? What do you think you're going to do about that? Or I'll ask, How are you feeling about that? What this does is it allows them to go deeper. And more than nine times out of ten, they actually don't want my advice at all and they've already got a great solution, they're just wanting to share their thoughts and their ideas, and sometimes what they need is just that sounding board the same way that I do and that you do. We just sometimes need to talk it out to be able to reflect on what we're already thinking and to kind of sort out our ideas.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:13] We really don't want the input of the other person because, you know, you know there's nothing worse than when someone gives you advice and you're like, yeah, I already did that. Or yep, that's already what I was thinking. It feels like they've taken your power away and they're not giving you credit for the idea you already had. So make sure that we're not doing that to anyone else. Because when we insert our own ideas, it's like we take their power away and we show that we don't value the thoughts that they already had. So substitute that by staying curious. The two questions that are my go to are, What are you thinking about that? And, How are you feeling about that? And it often just allows to go one step past describing the situation and just reflecting on their own piece.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:02] The next is someone is talking, they're sharing a story, and that little voice inside of your head goes, oh, that reminds me of a situation in your own life. And we naturally will go and start sharing our own story. We might interrupt the other person, or we just interject our ideas, and the next thing you know, we're telling our own story and taking that piece of pizza. I imagine in this situation, I imagine that that person is holding the piece of pizza, they're telling their story, and then I literally grab it out of their hand and I take it back, and then I start sharing my own. It is that rude. It is as rude as pulling the pizza out of someone else's hands. Now, I don't think that anyone does this because they're trying to be a jerk, or they're egocentric, or they're trying to be the center of attention. I really think that in most situations, it's because we want to relate and we feel like we have this common experience or a similar thing that's happened to us and by telling that story, we feel a sense of connection. But I don't think that's how this always feels for the person that is originally telling their story. So when I notice myself doing this, when I've taken the story or I've taken that conversation pizza out of that person's hand, what I will then do is say, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take over the conversation, and then I'll ask a question, I'll just say, oh, but it reminded me of this situation, and I know that that made me feel really frustrated. Or, you know, I was so excited when that happened too. I give the common thread, the common emotion, I connect it, and then I ask them a question back. And I imagine, like apologizing and giving their pizza back to them. This is probably one of the hardest ones, and it's taken me a long, long time to stop doing it. It irritates me when I do it, and I think it's just developed over so many decades that it's something that I have to consciously stop myself. And sometimes the train has already left the station by the time I've realized, oh shoot, I did it again. So I have to stop, say, oh, it just reminded me I was so excited when that happened as well. And then ask a question and imagine giving that back. So I do, I do try to apologize when I do it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:30] The other piece that I think is kind of next level when it comes to listening, that I think really allows people to feel heard at a deeper level, and I think that once you've mastered not rushing people when they're sharing, not rushing to give them advice or sharing your own story when they share, once you've got through those foundations that I think are critical to having better conversations and better relationships, then I think the next piece of this is when you spend time starting to notice non-verbal cues. When someone tells you a story, or they make a comment and you notice that what they say and their body language don't quite match. So, for example, they might say, yeah, you know, I'm really excited about this. When that excitement doesn't come through in their tone of voice or in how their breathing or their body language, when you comment on that and say, oh, you said you were excited, but it doesn't really sound like it. What's going on? What that does for the person that you're talking to is now they feel so much more seen and heard because now, not only did you hear what they said, now you've also observed how they said it. You've observed their body language. You've observed maybe the story behind it. This will create a much deeper connection every single time. So just noticing that and then commenting, not in judgment, but in a place of curiosity, I think all listening is a matter of not going to judgment, not going to advice, not going to decision making, but holding back in a place where you can stay curious and pause and just reflect back.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:35] The big picture in all of this, as we develop listening skills, is to understand that the objective of a conversation is to learn and to clarify. Someone's telling you a story. What else can you learn? What could you learn about them, how they're thinking, how they're processing that, how they feel about that? Or did that have an impact on another area of their life? That is the objective of a conversation. The objective of a conversation is not to share as many thoughts and ideas as you can. That is public speaking. When we are just demanding our attention or time, that is standing at the front of the room teaching. But most people are not your students. Most people are not sitting back and just wanting to learn from you. And even a good teacher is exceptional at asking questions. A true leader has exceptional listening skills. We coach people to that next level of understanding and moving forward, but they already hold the key to their own story and their own success. They're not looking for advice, and when they are, they generally will ask for it. Or they'll directly ask, do you have any advice for me? Then by all means share your own experience. Share your own advice. But I do think it's better to wait until you're asked until you share it, no matter what position you're in.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:34] I hope you've really enjoyed this episode that was inspired by my grandma giving me advice on not telling my spouse what I'm thinking, and I can tell you I still struggle with that some days, still working at it. I know that this is something that has improved my relationships, and I hope it does for you too. If you have not liked and subscribed to the podcast yet, I would love for you to just go click on those three dots at the top. Follow along so that you don't miss an episode, and if it inspires you, please take a screenshot and share this link with a friend or someone that you care about that you want to improve your relationship with. And if you notice that maybe one of these things is something that you do, you could ask them that, you know, I noticed that I do this when I'm in conversation with you, and it's something I want to get better at. I just want to let you know I'm listening. All right. Thanks so much for being here. Love you lots. See you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:50] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

19 - Start the Year as a Beginner

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 2 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000

I’m putting a twist on goal setting for the new year in this episode. We are always looking for the payoff or the reward or what the destination is and we often forget to have fun in the moment of living. So while you’re setting intentions and planning for the new year, I want to set out this challenge: what goals can you set that aren’t about achievement but are simply about fun? What can you learn that’s brand new and gives you a sense of excitement?

It’s the toddler or puppy sense of joy that I want you to reach for. That utterly new experience that is absolutely thrilling, full of learning, and entirely about awe. Like a toddler playing in the snow for the first time. You know exactly what I mean. We forget about experiences like that when we become adults and I want to challenge you, and myself, to find something to pour yourself into for sheer joy this year.

There are three areas to consider. What can you learn that you know nothing about? What can you try that you’ve never tried before? And who can you meet that opens your world to new possibilities and ideas? It’s not about big ground-breaking things like parachuting or scuba diving. It can be something simple like taking an art class, trying a new restaurant, or inviting someone you just met to accompany you to a show. Branch out and see what you can learn, do, and see that’s brand new, just for the fun of it. Are you willing to give it a try?

Key Moments

04:12 The challenge: to learn something for fun with no external reward or purpose

10:06 Feeling a gap in your life and intentionally finding something new to fill it

13:56 Who do you want to meet? And how can you meet them?

Do something you’re not entirely comfortable with but that you’re curious about
Combat loneliness by reaching out to new people
Find that brand new puppy joy experience

Resources mentioned in this episode:

NEED LINK FOR WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor the podcast. I am your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot my friend. We are going to talk about everything, from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends! Happy New Year! I hope that you had some time over the last few days or the last week to just kind of cozy up, sit back, reflect on the past year and hopefully take a pause. As we come into the new year, many of us start thinking about goals and what we want to accomplish in 2024.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:31] Whether you're the type of person that is a resolution setter, or you do your analysis and your business planning early in the new year, whatever that looks like for you, many of us who are high performers in business and in life tend to set goals, and we are constantly looking forward into I'm going to go through struggle or hardship, I'm going to focus my energy and my attention now so that I can achieve something. I can get to a reward. Whether that's in health and wellness, we're going to lose 10 pounds, we're going to run a marathon, we're going to achieve better health, eat better, lower our blood pressure, whatever that is. Or maybe you're setting big goals in your business that you want to achieve a certain revenue milestone, or you want to expand or go into a new market. All of those things are great, and I don't want to ever lose sight of the importance of setting goals and having forward motion in your life. But I want to put a little bit of a twist on it today because many of us who are that personality, myself included, we're always looking for What's the payoff? What's the reward? Where are we going? What's the destination? And sometimes we forget to have fun in the moment. So as you start to think about planning for the new year, I want to invite you along with me to set some goals around where am I going to be a beginner this year? What am I going to learn or explore? Where am I going to go? Who am I going to meet just for the fun of it? I think we get to maybe an age in our lives where we haven't been in a place of being the newbie for a very long time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:19] We are pretty comfortable in a lot of areas of our life. We have connections. We have people that we do things with that we feel comfortable doing. We are likely pretty confident in our businesses where we know what we do, we know how to serve, we know how to move forward. And we get into a place where things just start to feel a little bit maybe boring and it's not, it's not a bad thing. It can feel comforting. But one way that I think we challenge and push ourselves so that life doesn't feel boring is we set goals, we think about what's next, and we move forward on those things in a place of achievement. For some of us, you achieve those goals. But if you're a high achiever, you're pretty used to having that experience of reaching your goals and then setting new ones. So I want to invite a different way to look at this. What is something that you could do this year for fun? That has no external reward or purpose or destination, but you just want to do it for the sake of doing it, that it's something you're curious about, something you want to learn, something you want to explore just for the joy of it. To introduce yourself again to that beginner mindset.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:44] Now, I want to give you a little bit of a frame of reference for this. If you had the ability or the experience to spend time with someone over the holidays who is a toddler, or maybe this is the first time that someone has experienced your holiday traditions or the first time that they've ever seen snow. You know what this feels like with toddlers, right? Where they're just, they're in awe of maybe the lights or the decorations, or they're experiencing a new food for the first time, and you get to see their reaction to that. I think we also get this with puppies, right? When they're just exploring, and they have such visible reactions to new things around them, whether that is, you know, playing with something new or hearing the vacuum for the first time, or, you know, finding something outside that they haven't found before and the joy that overtakes them. This is the feeling that I'm looking for. Is that idea of just somewhere you've never been, something that you've never experienced, and being able to be completely present in that moment and just absorbing yourself into it. Now, what might that look like? You know, for those of us who maybe have pretty routine lives and do a lot of the similar things that we're comfortable with over time, or maybe you've actually gotten to a position where you're more of a mentor or a leader, you might teach other people your hobbies or in business, whatever that is, but you're in a position of leadership.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:23] I want you to completely go to the other end, and I want you to be a student. Whether that's taking a watercolors class, learning how to paint, learning how to do pottery. Maybe you've never golfed before, and that's something you've been kind of curious about. Or you want to explore hiking or pickleball. Anything. This past year, I was talking about doing this podcast, and a friend of mine asked me flat out, you know, what would this be like for you that you would feel like it was valuable, that it was a good way to spend your time? And I said, well, really, I just want it to be a value to my audience. This is why I love incredible friends. She said, Well, does it have to be? I was like, Well, like I think so, right? If nobody likes it and it's not worth... And she said, Well, why are you doing it? Like what's your reason, what's your purpose? And I said to her, I don't know. It's just, it's always been something I'm curious about. It sounds fun. Um, I remember when I was a little kid, I used to practice, you know, being a radio announcer. And I used to, you know, hit - remember when we used to hit record and play at the same time and record our cassettes - I used to do that all the time, and I'd practice telling you about the weather or the latest news. It was fun for me, and I said, there's a piece of podcasting that I think will just bring that out in me. And she said, well, what if you were just to do it because it's something that lights you up and it sounds fun and it doesn't matter all of the rest of it. Could that be enough?

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:58] And it wasn't until she faced that question to me that I thought, yeah, you know what? It is enough. And the truth is, I have thoroughly enjoyed doing this because you know what, it does, it lights me up just like I was a little kid sitting in front of my cassette recorder with my little microphone and telling no one and everyone about the weather and imagining what that would be like. I am having such a good time doing this. It's just bringing me joy.

[00:08:29] One of the best things I did last year was launch the Anchored Leadership Academy Group coaching program. We had our first group go through in the fall of this year, and let me tell you, it was incredible. We gathered a group of established entrepreneurs who really want to move forward in their leadership, so developing their teams, being able to give great feedback, delegating well to move to that next stage of business. The next cohort is going to start in February and doors are open now for applications. All you need to do is click on the link in the show notes, have a read, see if it feels like a good fit for you and then book an inquiry call. That's it. Hope to see you there. All right, back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:14] I've done other things this year for the exact same reason that it just kind of sounded fun. Something that I wanted to see if I could do. I did some hiking this year and it felt amazing. I took some hikes that I thought, I don't really know if I have any business doing this. I don't know if I actually have the physical ability to do it, but I thought, you know what? If I don't, I can always turn around and come back down. But I took the chance and it opened up a piece of me where I thought, oh, I actually really do enjoy this. I like the type of person that I feel like when I'm in this moment, and I think we get into these habits and these routines, and for a lot of us that are at places in our lives where maybe you've undergone some change.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:06] I think of myself, my kids are, they're in their early 20s, and I was recognizing how many of my social connections were linked to their life. It was linked to their school, their sports, other families that their kids were involved in the same thing and that's who we hung out with. And when my kids moved out, I kind of felt this void. Where I thought that some of those friendships would continue long after our kids were done, but they kind of just fizzled. Not because they're bad people, not because, you know, we don't like each other, but simply because we just weren't engaging in the same types of activities on a regular basis. I've heard people who went through the same thing if they went through a change in their relationship. So if they've gone through a divorce or things have changed, they've moved to a new community and those relationships that they had before and the activities that they enjoyed doing just aren't a part of their life anymore. And we can have this sense of kind of mourning and grief and loss about it, or feeling a little bit confused, or we can take responsibility to create the life we want and to see that, you know what, there's a gap here. I'm feeling a gap. What can I do intentionally to fill it? Who do I want to hang out with now? What are some of the things I want to do now? What do I want to explore? Who do I want to meet? What could I do? Could I take a line dancing class? Because I want to learn how to dance and I enjoy music.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:39] Could I sign up for that local art class? Could I sign up for a group that you learn how to crochet? It doesn't matter what it is. But what if you could come at it from that beginner mindset to say, okay, I don't know anything about this. I'm not comfortable at all, but I just want to do it to get that same sensation that the infant who's experiencing something for the first time, and they're not expecting anything of themselves, they know that they're probably going to be terrible at it because they're learning. It's just where they're at. They're a beginner. Bring yourself back to that idea of beginner. So when you're going through your your list of resolutions and all of the things that are going to make you a better, stronger, healthier, richer person this year, add in a goal on where am I going to be a beginner? What am I going to learn?

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:29] I like to divide it into three areas. So one being what am I going to learn that I know nothing about right now? So this year I learned a ton about podcasting that I had no idea about last year. But I enjoyed it and I was such a newbie. There was times where I had to google what certain words meant because I didn't even understand the language. If there's something that you're curious about and you want to learn, where are you going to be a beginner? New activities or adventures. Now, you might think that this sounds like, oh, I need to travel all over the world, and I need to go scuba diving off the coast of Hawaii, or I need to go bungee jumping. It's not like that. You can have new adventures and new experiences 15 minutes from your home. Some of the best things that I've done sometimes are just going to neighboring communities and exploring something very basic. A new type of food that I've never tasted before or go to, like I said, an art class. Go to a community that's maybe within an hour of your home that you've never been to before, and just explore, see what's there. Go to the new stores. Go tour around the neighborhoods. Just giving yourself the experience of what would it be like to live here? Strike up a conversation with someone in the coffee shop because they're probably, especially if it's a small town, they might be curious about why you're there or what you're doing.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:54] Which leads me to my third. Who do you want to meet this year? Who can you invite into your life that you don't know now? Is it someone that you're curious about? Is it an acquaintance that maybe you want to think, I wonder if this person could be a friend? Remember when you were like five years old, you could walk up to a random kid on the playground and be like, hey, you want to be my friend? Next thing you know, you're my new best friend. But as we get older and we get more ingrained and we get more comfortable with the people that we spend time with on a regular basis, doing the activities that we always do, there's a comfort in that and that definitely has a place. But where are we stretching? And I'm hearing so many people talk about how lonely they are. It's sincerely breaking my heart. And I think it can't be like that, because if there's so many people that are feeling this sense of kind of loneliness and disconnect, why are we not connecting with each other? And it can be as simple as saying to someone that you've met as an acquaintance, hey, I was planning on attending this event. I was planning to go to this show. I was planning to go see a movie. Like you can, whatever it is, would you like to join me? Right? It can be as simple as that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:15] You could ask someone who's an acquaintance, you know, would you like to get together and go for a walk? Would you like to come and have coffee and just take that next step, see how it goes? I don't think we're putting ourselves out there because all of that fear that we're going to be rejected, right? You hit about probably grade 3 or 4, and you stopped asking kids on the playground if they wanted to be your friend, because suddenly the fear of being rejected kicked in. And for many of us, that lasted another 40 or 50 years. Well, guess what? They're not like that anymore. They might be feeling the exact same way you are that maybe they want to do something new, but the group of friends that they currently have aren't really into that. Sign up. Go introduce yourself to someone, put yourself out there and meet new people. I guarantee you'll be surprised at what comes back. I had a couple of situations this year where I took that initiative and I said to someone, I don't really know how to do this, and it seems kind of awkward, but I like you and I'm just wondering if you want to be my friend. Both times, actually, we erupted into laughter and said, I know, isn't it weird making friends as adults? It's like we don't know how to do it anymore. And both of those relationships have turned into some of my closest friendships this year. And we're able to do things because I'm exploring new territory and new adventures and trying new things that I hadn't done before. But when I partnered with these new people, they had that connection. So it was kind of like a double bonus that I got to make a new friend and I got to do new activities together.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:54] So these are just like three easy ways. Learn something new, go to a new place, or have a new adventure. Try something new, and meet new people. Just introduce yourself. I think this is how we grow. We've all heard that term you don't grow from your comfort zone. This is the way to do that. And one of the bonuses that I think that can happen in this is that if you are a mentor, a manager, if you're someone who's teaching others, the farther away that we get from that experience of being a beginner, the less likely we are to be able to truly connect with those people and understand what they're feeling in that moment. This will keep you humble. This will give you that experience again of feeling a little bit anxious, a little bit uncertain, but also excited and thinking about the possibilities that will then allow you to connect more easily with the people that you're teaching or the people that you're leading. So it has that flip side. I don't want you to do it for that reason. I really don't, because that starts to sound like a goal or an objective to get to a reward. I want you to just have the experience of what it feels like to be a beginner, to have that joy of a brand new puppy experiencing snow for the first time, and just to feel it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:14] Thank you so much for being here. I'm going to share with you throughout the year different things that I decide to choose to be new at. I'd love for you to do the same. Pop me a message in the DM if you need some ideas, or you want to share what you're considering, and maybe you just need a little bit of a accountability partner or someone that you're actually sharing it with. Like, I really want to do this and you just want that little bit of a boost. So join the community. Feel free to send me a DM. I'm so glad you're here. Happy New Year! Let's make this one the best yet and continue to just create that life that you crave. This is how it's done, my friends. If you haven't liked and subscribed to the podcast yet, please make sure you do. And if you feel that this message would resonate with your friends or family, take a screenshot. Share it on your social media. This is how we grow the community together, and I am just eternally grateful because that is my mission here is to create community. Thanks so much. See you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:15] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

18 - The Most Wonderful Time of the Year - to Reflect

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000

No, this episode has not come out a week late. I want to talk about what I believe is the most magical week of the year: the last week, between the 26th and January. I take this week to slow down, to spend time in pyjamas, being cozy and drinking tea. I put together a puzzle and read a book or watch a movie. I let go of the chaos. But I also do something else. I reflect. And that’s what I want to share with you. How you can look back and appreciate everything you accomplished.

At some point during this week of rest, I turn to a ritual I developed that I love. I go through all the photos on my phone from the last year. I go right back to this day last year and look through every single photo. And while I do that, I make a list of all my favorite memories, maybe with a sentence or two about what I remember. It’s not all big flashy things, either. It’s simple things like walking my dog, my garden, a great sunset, somebody I love making a face. And I reflect on the year through the photos.

We often don’t take the time, while intention setting for the new year, to actually spend time with the things that shaped us in the last year. The things that brought us joy, the fears that we conquered, the achievements we made, even the losses and grief, just the messages that life gave us. That’s the advice I have for you: to reflect. Look at what held your attention this year and what you want to give more of your attention to next year. Soak it all in. And see what you come up with.

Key Moments

03:44 Your past year in photos

05: 44 What life really is, looking back

11:06 What do you want more of next year?

How looking back helps set intentions for next year
What words defined your last year?
Cultivating gratitude for what you have before stepping into the future

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Gift Guide for Small Business Owners

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor the podcast. I am your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] It's the most wonderful time of the year. Okay, I'm not going to sing to you anymore. Some of you might be thinking that this podcast has come out a week too late. It absolutely has not. I fully believe that the last week of the year is magical. For many of us things slow down, we don't have the chaos of holidays and family and cleaning our house and doing all the things, it just slows.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:37] For a lot of us the kids are off school and we have this just space where the world just doesn't expect much of us, and I love it. My week, between kind of the 26th and early January, I spend the vast majority of my time in my pajamas, in comfy clothes, snuggled under a blanket watching movies or reading a book, drinking a cup of tea, or working on a puzzle. It's like the best thing ever. And I wanted to give you just a little, a slower podcast today. This podcast isn't about a bunch of strategies and moving forward and setting goals. We're going to get to that next week. Today I want you to just like, melt in to what this week is. This slowing down, giving yourself a space to just chill out, take a beat. I'm going to share a little bit about kind of what I do this week, because I developed this ritual a few years ago that I just think is one of the best parts of my year, to be honest with you. And I just want to share it. Maybe you want to do it too.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:51] I buy one of those 1000 piece puzzles. I only do one a year. It takes me most of the week. I'm not very good at puzzles. But it gives me something to do. Because to just sit and not have something to engage my brain and my body a little bit, I just get too distractible and fidgety. So a puzzle helps kind of keep me in one space for an extended period of time, and somehow I feel like I'm really accomplishing something when I put together a puzzle. If there's any puzzle fans out there, let me know. I put on my PJs and my slippers, I drink way too much coffee, and then I transition to sometimes a glass of wine or something in the evening. I stay in my pajamas all day. It's like the best thing ever. And one of the favorite things that I do at some point during the week is I go through the photos on my phone. I go back to this day last year and I go through every single photo, and then I write down what my highlights of the year were. Because, here's the cool thing: we take pictures of things that catch our attention. It's either something beautiful, something we love, a person that we love, a favorite memory, the things that catch our attention and are photo worthy are like the best parts of our life. But how often do we never look at them again? We take the photo, sometimes we maybe post it on social media, but we never really go back and look at it like a story or a chapter of our life. And this is what I like to do during this week. So I go back and I just start making a list of all my favorite memories, and I might fill in a sentence or two about little pieces of that that I remember, or what made it so special or what was great about that day.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:45] And I'm telling you, these are not big things. Like, I'm not talking about flying all over the world or having great holidays or having really lavish trips. Now most of my pictures are about spending time in my garden, I have a ridiculous number of pictures of my dog when she's just joyful, or we're going on a nature walk and I notice the color of the trees is just exceptionally beautiful against the sky. Like so many of the pictures are just simple. They're pictures of water, lakes, puddles, streams, all kinds of water. They're not big things. Pictures of people that I love doing funny things or funny moments. And then I create this journal entry of all the best parts. Now after you've done that, like feel great, you feel good, and you might notice, maybe there's some kind of sad moments that sneak in or, you know, maybe you have a hard memory or associates with something else that maybe wasn't that great. And that's okay, you just let that happen. That's what life is. It's not a story of, you know, all the number one favorite things. It's not a top ten list. It's just life. It's just noticing it. And if there's some hard things in there, you throw that in and you recognize it's all part of the story. And all of it can be beautiful. All of it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:05] Then when I'm finished and I get up to my current day, I pause and I go back. And I read through all of these things throughout the course of the year in one sitting. And then I ask myself what might have got in the way of these memories? So what's really cool about this is it's not about intention setting. It's not about saying, oh, I would have done this if, these things actually did happen. I did take action on it. I did take that chance. I did have that memory or that experience. But I want to acknowledge what are some things that might have intruded on that? My list last year, number one, the thing that would have gotten in the way of the best parts were fear. That was my number one, of just being too afraid. Afraid of being judged. Afraid of making the wrong decision. Afraid of hurting someone's feelings or not doing the right thing. Like just list it. The list of fears can be crazy. But I acted on it. I came through it. I didn't let the fear take center stage and stop me from what I wanted to do. The other one is if I would have thought it wasn't worth it financially, if I would have thought, oh, you know, I should be saving this money I shouldn't spend on these types of things.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:30] Okay, my friends, we're well in the season of gift giving. And if you know of someone who's a small business owner in your life and you want to get them the perfect thing that you know will be so valued and appreciated and it'll just make them feel cared for, click on the link in the show notes. I've put together a guide of my favorite gift ideas for small business owners, and there is everything from absolutely free to a lot of options that are less than the price of a gift basket with lotions and candles. But it's really what people want. If you are a business owner, and maybe you just need some ideas of ways that people could support you, this might give you some good ideas of what to ask for. I'm sending you so much love this holiday season. Click on the link in the show notes. I'll send you the list. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:23] I had bought tickets to a poetry reading of all things, and at the time I kind of thought, oh, this is a lot of money to spend for a poetry reading, and I took my daughter, and that evening was actually unbelievably powerful. I've never been to a poetry reading, and it was kind of a whimsical idea. And that night, the conversation that it led to and some of the topics that we discussed afterwards, and the feeling in that room of just appreciating someone's thoughts and ideas and and witnessing the beauty of how words can come together, it was so cool. But if I would have let my thought be, oh, that's too expensive to spend on somebody just standing on stage reading poetry, I would not have had that experience. It wouldn't, and it was absolutely one of the highlights.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:17] Not planning it. How many times do we see something and think, oh yeah, that looks really cool, I should do that. And then the next time you look at it, it's gone. It's already past and you didn't get to it. I realized that when I don't make the plan, when I don't set aside the time and book it, it passes, and that those really cool things that happened in my year and those highlights happened because I set a date, because I put a time on it. Whether that was I was going to go visit a friend, I was going to host a barbecue, right, it doesn't, again, doesn't have to be big things, but I planned it. I put a date on it. Another big one was a fear of letting people down. Um, there was lots of times where I felt like if I did something that I would disappoint people, especially when I chose to not work, to take a holiday, to take some time off, to have more space, that wouldn't have happened if I would have been so fearful of telling clients that I am taking a holiday, I'm taking a break, or I'm reducing my hours during the summer so that I can spend time in my garden, so that I can spend time kayaking, so that I can do those things during this short season. None of those amazing things would have happened if I would have been too afraid to disappoint people.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:38] So this is like, you're just kind of getting some realness with yourself, but it's not that hard because you actually did overcome these things. So you're kind of like celebrating yourself to say, hey, I did it. I actually didn't let those fears stand in my way. I didn't let that fear of disappointing people or saving money or x x x, whatever it is, stand in my way of these amazing things.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:04] And then I look at that list again and I go, what do I want more of next year? And I feel like this kind of dials it in. Like when we start talking about setting goals, or we start talking about the things we want to achieve, we can get this kind of like forward motion that feels like, you know, it needs to be hard and we need to be hustling, we need to be stretching and pushing. This week, it's not like this. It's like, what do I want to experience more of in my life? I want to have more of these things that were so amazing already. And I want to just, I want to put a light on that before I go to what can sometimes be those first weeks in the new year where we start to think about, okay, what don't I have now that I want to achieve next year? I love taking time to just go, what's already amazing, what's already working really well, that I just want more of, or I want to make sure that I'm continuing to have this. I'm wanting to continue to nurture those relationships, to spend time walking my dog and spending time in nature and growing a garden like the most simple, basic things that maybe don't feel that extravagant. They don't feel like you're really accomplishing much. But they're building a life.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:26] That's what I want to dial in on. That's what I want to get comfy and cozy with. And then the last thing that I do is I just reflect and I go, okay, was there any like, key messages that I want to take away from this year? Are there things that I just want to kind of absorb or set as my mantra or my focus as I go forward? These can become kind of like your word of next year. Last year my words were 'brave' and 'consciously investing'. That not only did I consciously invest my time, right, where do I want to give my attention, my energy, my focus, and what matters when it comes to money? And how do I want to spend that? And the idea of investment is I want to get more of it so when I spend my time and my energy, my money, on these things, they grow. And they make my life better. That was kind of my dialed in focus for last year.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:32] And then the other big one was take the chances and the opportunities that are in front of you. Because when I looked back and I saw all of these things that could have so easily been stopped by fear or doubt or being unsure, the times when I looked at that and just went for it anyways, and really cool things happened. When I felt like I wasn't, I didn't have enough knowledge, that I wasn't smart enough, that I didn't have the skill set, or that I didn't have the right credentials. That I didn't have the right knowledge, that I didn't have the right amount of money, that I didn't insert anything. But when I went, you know what, if somebody believes in me and they're giving me this opportunity and it makes me a little bit nervous, I don't feel like I'm completely a fish out of water, but I have that sense of doubt or imposter syndrome, and I show up anyway, and I do the best I can, how many times it works out so much better than I thought it would. So that's it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:31] I want to just get cozy with you this week. In your pajamas with a cup of tea or glass of wine, whatever you choose. And sit back and absorb all of the best parts of your life over this last year. Big, small and otherwise. And what's really amazing about this is when you do it over time, and now this has been several years for me that I've done this exact same activity, that I love going back because it's like I'm writing chapters of my own biography that are based in the best parts of my life and the lessons that I've learned along the way. And you know what did I learn, what were the themes of this year, what really stood out for me? When you get to read, you know, 5 or 6 of those in a row, the feeling that you will have, it's pretty incredible. I also think this helps by having gratitude for what you have now, and sinking into that before you go into goal setting and intentions in the new year and and going after what you want next. I think this is the essence of gratitude. It's just noticing what is and taking time and space to soak that all in. So I hope that this episode has just made you reflect and notice. I hope that you are taking time this week or in the near future to spend some time with yourself. Put your feet up, relax, do a puzzle if you choose to. If you're a puzzle person, please feel free to post those or send me pictures of the puzzles that you're doing, because if you're not a puzzle person, you don't understand how much time and effort it takes to really get all those thousand pieces in the right spot and feel this great sense of accomplishment. But people who don't do puzzles, they don't understand that same feeling. So you can send them to me and I will be proud of you. And, uh, I'll message you back.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:30] I'd love for your thoughts on this episode. Feel free to send me a DM. Let me know how this was for you and just how it landed, what happened, and let's continue to build the community. Again, I really appreciate all of my listeners. I love you all, and I want the world to be just a kinder, gentler, more connected place. It's what I want to commit my whole heart, all of my energy and my time to. And I really appreciate you being here. So if you're inclined to share this episode, send a snapshot or a link to a friend who might just really enjoy having this message before we get back to the chaos of what the New Year can bring, please do. I'd appreciate it so much. Thank you so much. We'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:20] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

17 - Brand Strategies to Stand Out in a Crowded Market

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000

I have an amazing guest to share with you, someone who will inspire your marketing journey and make you feel empowered to embrace your uniqueness. Cheryl Floris is a mother and a lifelong creative who founded Hey Sunny Studio to specifically help women in business build a thriving brand. Cheryl worked in the health and fitness industry and through being involved in bettering her own wellness, she came to understand the transformation a coach or healer could provide. But she also saw a gap in how those people were presenting themselves. So I’m talking with Cheryl all about how to market and brand your business to align with what you really want.

Cheryl explains exactly why the brand identity of your business is such a key part of marketing and appealing to the clients that you want. It’s easy to just lean into what everyone else in the health and wellness industry, or in any industry, is doing but that’s not how to stand out and be noticed for who you truly are. We talk about that, about getting noticed, about what holds you back from outsourcing branding and leaning into your individuality.

There are a lot of lessons to learn from my conversation with Cheryl. She shares her Three S Cycle of brand awareness, how to appeal to your ideal client, how she approaches teaching content creation, and the importance of leveraging your time. This is an inspirational and educational revelation from someone with clear passion and integrity. You need to learn how to embrace your business and brand with the passion Cheryl has, so soak up the discussion we have in this episode.

Key Moments

16:54 What a great designer does when developing a brand identity

21:16 Why you need to always have a hand in your marketing content

32:45 When fear of not wanting to alienate all potential clients keeps you from reaching your ideal clients

Story, specificity, and spice - how they are the key to marketing success
Why building trust with your potential ideal clients matters
How do you actually create 30 days of marketing content and still have a life?

About Cheryl Floris:

As a mother of 2 young kids and lifelong creative, I craved a career that would allow me to have freedom in my schedule, but also fulfill the purpose I was set here to - to help women in business build a thriving brand that aligned with their lifestyle and their soul’s mission.

After working in the health & fitness industry, and being involved in bettering my own wellness for over 10 years, I knew the deep transformation that a coach, healer or counsellor could provide. But there were always gaps in the businesses I worked for or with, and most of them falling under the umbrella of their brand. Whether that's connection to their visual identity, being able to pinpoint their uniqueness and leverage it, or uncovering their dream client - the gaps they had were causing friction in both their personal life and in their business.

While on maternity leave with my son, I decided it was time to leverage my own strengths - creativity, systems and connection development, and my 8 years in social media marketing. Hey Sunny Studio was born and took off immediately. Since then we've been able to work with over 40 businesses to create visual identity systems, brand strategy and websites that have allowed them to grow and step into their own power as a health & wellness brand.

Hey Sunny Studio Note:
We will be launching our own podcast in spring 2024, and will be introducing an aligned marketing mentorship program as well! Sign up to our newsletter to be the first to know and snag a spot at beta pricing.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Gift Guide for Small Business Owners

Contact Cheryl Floris | Hey Sunny Studio:

Website: HeySunnyStudio.com
Instagram

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor the Podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us, to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] All right, welcome to the podcast. I am thrilled today to introduce you to a amazing entrepreneur. Cheryl Floris is the mother of two young kids and a lifelong creative. Cheryl created a career that would allow her the freedom in her schedule, but also fulfill the purpose she feels she was set here to, to help women in business build a thriving brand that aligned their lifestyle and their soul's mission. After working in the health and fitness industry and being involved in bettering her own wellness for over ten years, she knew that deep transformation that a coach, a healer or a counselor could provide. But there was always gaps in the businesses that she worked for or with, and many of them fell under the umbrella of their brand. Whether that was connecting their visual identity, being able to pinpoint their uniqueness and really leverage it, or uncovering their dream client, the gaps that they had were causing friction in both their personal life and in their business. While on maternity leave with her son, she decided it was time to leverage her own strengths, her creativity and connection development, and her eight years in social media marketing. Hey Sunny Studio was born and took off immediately. Since then, they have worked with over 40 businesses to create visual identity systems, brand strategy and websites that allowed them to grow and step into their own power as a health and wellness brand. Welcome, Cheryl. I'm so excited to have you here.

Cheryl Floris: [00:02:44] Oh, I'm so excited to be here. It's gonna be so fun.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:47] It is going to be so fun. I'm just thrilled because every time we have a chat together, it seems like we just uncover more and more need in this industry. And I think a lot of our clients overlap. Our backgrounds overlap. Where I think both of us have clients who really believe in that customer service, they want to focus on what they do in their business, and they do it really well. But they don't always know how to leverage and get the right clients in and keep that consistent funnel happening so that it doesn't feel like such a roller coaster.

Cheryl Floris: [00:03:29] Yes. Yes, 100%.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:32] Talk to me a bit about the transition and kind of what was the factor that moved you, or the personal story that got you into this industry and kind of took you from that health and wellness place into going it on your own?

Cheryl Floris: [00:03:46] How far do you go back when you share a personal story like that? Truthfully, like I've been in health and wellness for ten years now. I started exercising, working out in high school, and that was kind of the kicker to my health journey. And I really just spent the next eight years focusing on bettering myself in every capacity that I could, whether that was personal development, taking online courses, reading about new nutrition plans, different styles of nutrition we should be focusing on, different things like that. And throughout that time, I actually had started in a network marketing business, and that was my first piece of social media marketing. And that was when Instagram had no stories, there was no reels. And to stay relevant, there was also no algorithm. You had to be posting three times a day because it was based on timeline, right? So during that time we really started to, or I started to understand how to share my story specifically and start to relate to the individuals that I wanted to be working with. Did that for quite a few years, went on a little bit of a roller coaster with moving and careers, and ended up working at a gym for four years. And during that time I learned even more about health and wellness, but also a lot about business and running the back end of a business, connecting with your members and what to do to keep your members coming month after month, especially when you are offering a membership that is a higher ticket price.

Cheryl Floris: [00:05:28] And during the time at the gym, I was able to be there for the height and the peak, but also for the fall. And that was a really big indicator to me of where gaps started to happen. Before that, my husband and I, we also owned a restaurant and there were gaps there too, that we were noticing whether that was physical with location and what was happening with the economy or in our social media, and how we were showing up for that business. And so, yeah, during all of that time, we were able to just gain so many skills with running a successful business that, yeah, when I went on maternity leave with my son, I just, I hit that point of, I can't go back to where I was working based on the economy and scheduling. It just wasn't conducive to raising kids. So I needed to create something that was going to, yeah, allow me to stay home, be present with the kids, but also something that would financially benefit us in the long run, especially now. You kind of need to have two incomes in a household, you know. So what is going to allow me as a mother and a creative woman to thrive, utilize my skills so I feel like I can fulfill my purpose as a woman, but also be present with my kids and be able to spend as much time as I possibly could. So yeah, that's kind of how Hey Sunny Studio was built.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:55] I've been talking to a few of my guests about the evolution of business. I love this time. I think we're in such a time of opportunity because when I think back, you know, it hasn't been that long that even women being able to be in the working world, you know, we look through timelines and think, okay, then we came into we've got the 9 to 5 job, we've got all the expectations, we're still doing everything at home. And I talked about being in the 'yes, but' generation like yes, you can have a job, but don't forget you still need to make sure that the kids are looked after, that the meals are made, that the house is clean, everybody's eating well, and then we kind of instead of going, okay, we're going to outsource raising our children and looking after our families and our relationships, this time in business, I see so many women saying, okay, how can I make this all work together and utilizing that creative flair? I love meeting people who say, you know what? I didn't just try to retrofit myself or stretch myself even further to meet all of these different demands on my time, but that I really am designing, I call it creating the life that you crave.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:08] And we have to be an active participant in that. And I think it's wild to me that I believe you went into two of probably the most challenging industries, like restaurant. It, I mean it's stressful. You talk about, I mean, your overhead, your inventory literally rots if you don't have your accurate predictions on what sales are going to be. And then in the gym world, right? It is, it's so competitive. It's so demanding. There's so many seasonal impacts to what happens there in that industry. And I talk to a lot of my clients about that difference between being in your business and operating as a service-based professional and then working on your business. And it sounds like really early on you recognize that, hey, wait, there's two sides to this pancake that have to work together, and one can't operate just because you have a great reputation and you provide great service, and people love being there, doesn't mean that that is the ticket to long term success in your business. If people don't know you're there or they don't know how to connect.

Cheryl Floris: [00:09:16] Yes, exactly. And that's where really a big passion and a big mission of Hey Sunny Studio is, is helping women be able to build a successful business at home with their kids, so marrying the two, and contribute to their household and truthfully provide opportunity for their family and their kids as they grow older. And a lot of the times, what I see with these businesses, especially in the health and wellness space, is we get so caught up in being in it that we don't know how to work on it, and the on it piece is what allows you to grow. It's what allows you to raise your prices, to book more clients, to expand from one-on-one to group training so you can help even more people. But also you can provide yourself with even more opportunity too, because you're able to get that extra financial security, which ultimately is what we need right now.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:14] Right. And I think I want to highlight too, that when you do that well, it's not the side hustle. It doesn't mean that just because you're working from home, or that you're raising kids at the same time, that this has to be a smaller business, that there's a lower income ratio. It doesn't have to be like that. What do you think are some of the other misconceptions in your industry when you start talking about brand identity or what that looks like?

Cheryl Floris: [00:10:41] Yeah. So I think a really big misperception is that brand identity is just surface level. Right? So when we talk about the newer businesses and you think like, I'll do a logo on Canva or get one for cheap off of Fiver or throw some colors together, like whatever, it doesn't matter that much. But truthfully, it makes a huge, huge impact because we are biologically, like going back to caveman era, we are designed to tune out the white noise. So when we see the same thing, when we hear the same thing over and over and over again, we start to tune it out. I can tune in to the clock, clicking behind me and listen to that and only hear that. But when I'm washing the dishes, I'm not going to pay attention to that. Same thing when people are scrolling on social media. If they see the same thing over and over and over again, then it's really, really easy for them to just get overlooked and to fade into the mass amount of coaches and healers and therapists and counselors that are online right now. So truly, your brand identity does make a massive, massive impact in your business. Having something with colors, logos, graphics, fonts, everything that stands out from your industry, that's going to be the very first thing that catches somebody when they are flipping through their phone, when they are going through their emails, when they are looking at Facebook, when they are googling programs, that's going to be the very, very first thing.

Cheryl Floris: [00:12:19] And you have literally as long as a blink to be able to catch that person, right? Think about how fast you can scroll on your phone nowadays, and if social media is your main platform, then you need to have something that's going to catch somebody's attention and turn on the alarm of that's different. Why is that different? Is this a good difference? Does this mean there's opportunity, or does this mean that it's like it's different, but it's not attractive to me. And that's the second piece to it, is you need to have differentiating factors, but you also need to have attractive factors to your ideal clients and to your market. And that attractive piece is, again, what's going to speak to your audience. It's as easy as saying like, you are a retro esthetic brand in a sea of nutrition coaches who use fancy script fonts and neutral tones, right? The individual that loves retro, loves vintage, loves old cars, whatever. They are going to be attracted to you and they're going to start paying attention to you and what you post and what you share. So there's two key pieces that come from brand identity. And really like when you're in a position where you're wanting to grow, yes DIY that in the beginning, but you're going to hit a spot where that is going to be the snag to attracting more clients, to being able to raise your prices and to be able to stand out in your industry.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:53] Let's dive into that. So when you think about your client who has done the DIY, they've created their logo, or they've had a friend of a friend create something for them.

Cheryl Floris: [00:14:04] Yeah.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:05] What do you see that they're telling themselves? Like, what are we listening for when we think, okay, is this just that my business is not succeeding, that people just don't really resonate with what I'm offering? Because I think there's this point where we don't necessarily know, is it our brand? How do we know that we should be questioning or we should be looking into getting some support? Talk to me about that.

Cheryl Floris: [00:14:28] Yeah, I think that ultimately comes down to clarity, really. When we are starting out and we first DIY'd our logos and our website, we're kind of piecing together what we like that everybody else is doing, and we don't exactly know what it is that resonates with us or where we are positioned in our industry. What makes us different, what makes us unique? We're piecing everything together.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:52] I think with my clients, like when when someone's new in business, we tend to kind of, we create our own identity based on what we see other people in the industry doing. We mirror that, we mimic it, and then over time we start to feel like, okay, but that's not really me. And then as you work with more clients, you realize, okay, these are the people that I really love working with. These are the types of jobs that I really like doing. And then there's also this piece where we go, you know what? But I don't really love this part. That phrasing, that service, that product doesn't really resonate with me anymore. And I think it takes some time. I think putting some skin in the game and just allowing yourself some time and space to say, okay, I've tried these things out and now this doesn't feel like me. And it sounds it's the same with brand, is that we start off by replicating those neutral tones and the fancy fonts and then say, you know what? I look at my website, I look at my social media and I go, I don't know who that is.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:48] It looks just like everyone else that's out there. So it sounds like that's one of the first pieces that you connect with to go, it doesn't really feel like me anymore. As I ask the question, I thought, I think there's a spot where we say, you know what? My clients that are working with me love me. That I'm getting great reviews. I'm getting great testimonials. The clients are coming back. They're referring their friends and family. But I'm not attracting new clients, and I feel like I'm growing this one piece of my business and often, like the word of mouth referrals are fantastic because people who already know and love and are working with you will bring other people that are similar. But we want to make sure that our brand identity and what we're putting out as that public image is aligning with that. And sometimes I feel like one, especially our brand identity, can lag behind, that we don't come to that realization or that recognition soon enough.

Cheryl Floris: [00:16:43] Yeah. And that's usually one of the harder things to outsource, because we're still stuck in that mindset of why would I pay someone to just choose colors for me? Why would I pay someone to just choose fonts and make some logo that I'm going to use in the corner of all of my graphics? But what we do is so much more than that. And like I mentioned, your brand identity is so much more than that, right? When you are working with us on your brand identity, as for a lot of brand designers out there, we are diving into who your ideal client is, what they are attracted to, what problems they're experiencing, and then we're also taking a look at who you are as a whole. We want to know, you know, what your hobbies are, what you grew up doing. We want to know, like, what the color palette is in your closet. And if you would paint your fingernails bright red, or if you're someone who maybe doesn't even pay your fingernails, maybe you go for a green or a clear because you're just not flashy like that, right? And we take those pieces into consideration when building your brand identity, because that's when we start to uncover who exactly you are as an individual. Do you fall into the category of, yeah, cool and calm and neutral, like what the norm is, but what's the edge that we can utilize that's going to help you stand out? That's when we're going to tap into the further details of how you were raised and the music you like to listen to, so that we can bring in a font that's going to align with who you are and who your client is, and it's going to be that snazzy piece that makes people go, oh, that's a little different.

Cheryl Floris: [00:18:26] So yeah. So that's the outsourcing piece that a lot of people get hung up on is, well, it's just colors and fonts. But at the end of the day, it is the essence of who you are. And if you don't feel like your brand identity represents you, then your audience is going to feel that too. And you're going to start to attract clients who aren't aligned. So when you finally get to that point, when you say, this is who I want to work with, they see the value and what I have to offer. They are more than willing to pay the prices of my coaching, my healing, my sessions, whatever, then you're finally able to be in a position of this is exactly what it should look like and how my business needs to move forward. And that brand identity is the first piece of that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:15] Something I want to pull out from what you said, because I think, you know, you get the freebies online that say, oh, here's what you need to do. That allows those people to sound just like everybody else in their business. And like you said, gets buried in the sea of social media, websites, emails, all of it. And then I think a lot of us have, we've taken the course, we've done the initial work to talk about our ideal client and who we want, and, you know, are they a Starbucks or a Tim Hortons person, and what's their average family income and all of these kind of things? What I love about what you talked about, when you talk about nail color and what you did as a kid, and the type of music that you enjoy, what I hear in this, especially with a service based business, is that it's a bridge between two people, that you're not just selling your product or service and advertising what you do and who you do it for, but you're also advertising these are the types of people that resonate with me and the work that I want to do and what lights me up.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:16] And then I also think of a third kind of piece to that. So with some of my clients, I'm actually working towards them moving away from if your business was an entity separate from you. So say you're growing your team and you've got some people, now, instead of you doing it all yourself and identifying that, but now we're starting to think about outsourcing, sharing that wisdom with someone else, and having maybe somebody else do our social media content creation, that kind of thing. How can we communicate that more effectively to say like, if your business was a person, would it be dressed in all sequins? Would it be wearing flashy colors and feathers, or would it be wearing hiking boots and, you know, packing a backpack and out in the wilderness? Like, I love how you've differentiated that it's a relationship in the brand voice. And I think that's such a key piece that we're not seeing in a lot of marketing materials.

Cheryl Floris: [00:21:14] There's a couple of different layers to that. One, my spicy opinion, and this is going to jump ahead of my second point, is that whatever platform you are utilizing as your main marketing platform - so if that's social media, if that's LinkedIn, if that's email marketing, whatever - I strongly believe that you still need to have a hand in it and a role in it. So if you have a virtual assistant or a social media manager and they are doing all of your posts, yes, that's great. You still need to be showing up on stories. You still need to be in your DMs. You still need to be connecting with your audience, especially especially in the health and wellness space, because there are so many coaches, healers, helpers, counselors, everybody out there that most of the clients you're working with have tried a million things already. They have done the quick fixes, they have tried the longer programs, they have gone to the seven sessions of the EFT tapping to whatever, they need to know that the person they are working with is the right person. It doesn't matter necessarily what the tools are at this point if they've tried so many things. They need to know that the person is going to do the work to also get them there, because in the health and wellness space, you're not just helping somebody lose 20 pounds, you're helping them overcome limiting beliefs, break habits, break influences from outside sources, like, you know, maybe a parent that bullied you when you were a kid, right? You are helping them in so much more than just losing 20 pounds.

Cheryl Floris: [00:22:57] And this wraps into my next point of specificity. You have to have to have to be specific with the person you are working with. And I'm not talking about their demographics anymore. Yes, that has a role, but I'm talking about what they think on a day to day basis when it's, you know, 5 p.m., they're trying to get dinner ready, they are overwhelmed and they're thinking about the one thing that went wrong today that if they just had a solution for, it would have been a game changer and made everything better. What is the list of all the things they've tried in the past? Why didn't they work and how are your solutions, how are your offers the solution for that? And how can you then relate to them in a specific way? Just talking about 20 pounds like, yeah, everybody talks about that, losing the last 5 pounds, everybody talks about that, but nobody talks about how uncomfortable it feels to be sitting out in the grass with your kids in the middle of summer, and they just want you to run around and play with them. But you know you're going to get winded and it's going to be embarrassing. So you're just going to say, no, I'll just, I'll sit and watch, you go continue to play. That's a story that's going to relate to somebody, and that's a story that's going to make someone say, oh, she gets me. I know that's me, that is exactly how I feel.

Cheryl Floris: [00:24:22] When you're outsourcing to a team, when you are growing a team, you need to be crystal clear on those points. You need to have a guide. Truthfully, brand strategy guide, brand messaging guide, ideal client, analysis, story that you can be talking about with your team on a regular basis so that you can make sure your voice is the same across all platforms. You are touching on what needs to be touched on in the actual awareness framework of attracting clients, of getting clients, of creating community. And you need to be consistently looking at your ideal clients as well, because things are going to shift and change as the world shifts and changes. So you also have to be able to roll with the punches, so to speak. And you know, what's something that your ideal clients are sharing and talking about regularly now as opposed to three months ago. Right? And how can you start to provide value on that subject?

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:25] Yeah, that was a few minutes of gold right there. Again, I want to take it back because we hear these things, right? You need to niche down. You need to be specific. You need to share stories. I feel like you're drilling even deeper into that. And I feel that a lot of our brand awareness that gets scrolled past is the stuff that it doesn't resonate because it doesn't hit our hearts. It feels very flat. It feels like we don't have an emotional connection to it. And let's be honest, like a lot of people who have chosen to work in this space do it because they really do care and they do have a personal story, and they have opinions about a lot of different things. And so we've talked about the stories. We've talked about specificity. Let's talk about the third, because this is one of my favorites. And I'm not even going to set it up for you because I love your take on this next S in the in the three S cycle. Because this is big and I want to, I really want to launch that with you. So I'm going to let you take the third S from here.

Cheryl Floris: [00:26:28] Okay. So the third S, and we break all three of these down even more in our content code, which is going to be a do it yourself workshop coming in the new year, the third S is Spice. Spicy content that is going to disrupt the norm. So again, relating back to that differentiating factor like you need to stand out now. And we are so scared of it. We have a fear of it, of even showing our face online. Like for me, you will never catch me doing a dancing reel. But maybe I need to, you know, because it's different and it's going to catch people's attention. They're going to say, wow, Cheryl needs to not dance ever again. But with all that being said, adding spice and disrupting the norm comes with sharing your particular points of view, your unpopular opinions. What makes your methods different from the thousands of other nutrition coaches out there or hormone coaches out there? Therapists, counselors, everybody, what is different about your mindset in your industry? Because it's those things that, again, are going to start filling the gaps for your ideal clients who have tried a million things in the past, it's going to start filling in the the needs that they have been missing. I cannot tell you in my ten years of being in the fitness, 11 years, actually, of being in the health and fitness industry, how many nutrition plans I did. I calorie counted, I cut out all carbs, I did keto, I did this and that and the other thing. So many, so, so many.

Cheryl Floris: [00:28:15] And it wasn't until this year when I actually found the right person, the right coach, to lead me through a program and reassure me and give me the tough love that I need, that I've been able to make progress in my goals. I've macro tracked in the past, yes, but I've never done it with somebody who has led me through in the way that she has. Right? So this again comes back to finding the person, finding the different person that is going to give you exactly what you need. Because like I said, like if social media is your main marketing right now, you are competing with hundreds of thousands of online coaches, healers, trainers. And in a world where somebody, anybody can go online and sign up for a quick weekend course and all of a sudden be an expert in hormone health, how do you, somebody who has gone to school for 4 or 5, 7 years and has taken countless certifications, has a degree, has done, you know, an astronomical amount of clinical research, how do you stand out against that person? Right? And it is going to be your unique points of views, your spicy hot takes, your unpopular opinions, and the things that go against the grain.

Kari Lotzien: [00:29:39] I'm going to push it one step further, because I think there's going to be people that you connect with based on having a similar unpopular opinion, right? I did one on my issue with challenge culture. I despise it and how we sign up for these 30 day challenges and you have to do this pushing your body to the limits. And then when your body actually just naturally needs to go into a rest state, you feel like you failed. And there's a lot of businesses that, consciously or not, have designed their whole premise around when your body needs to rest, you're going to think that you failed, and then you'll come back to us for the solution. It was a really hot topic for me, and I was just so tired of that mentality. So I can push on that button, that hot topic, and people will say, oh my gosh, that's just like me. I'm sick and tired of doing these challenges, and I do challenge after challenge after challenge, and I fail and I fail and I fail, there must be something wrong with me. Instead of looking at is this system actually optimizing this rhythm or this cycle where people fall down and then feel like they need help to get back up again over and over and over again? So there's going to be people that go, that frustrates me too. But then you have to acknowledge that there's going to be people that are die hards on the other side who are going to lash out to you, and they're going to send you messages in the DMs, and they're going to tell you how you're insane and you have no idea, and that sometimes it's also really great to just call that ahead of time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:31:21] Because there's nothing worse than being in that relationship with someone, getting into working engagement, and then recognizing that you have really different core values and beliefs, and the way that you work is not aligned with this client or this person. And now you're at a place where you're trying to repair it because they've paid you. But if you can get ahead of that and just say, these are my values and beliefs, this is how I show up, this is my unpopular opinion, it's okay to drive some of those people away and get them out of your funnel, because you're protecting yourself from the headache that may follow. And there's other people, I'm not saying right, wrong or otherwise, you can have different opinions than I do, and there will be someone else who completely disagrees with me and will be a great fit for you. But we're protecting ourselves. So I think that's a tough one, because so many of us in this industry are people pleasers. We don't want to make people upset. We don't want to tell them they're wrong. We don't want to stand on the edges. It's uncomfortable. And I think this is a big move from that, you know, early stages in this industry where we're just trying to get clients, get somebody in the door to pay. And coming into this, as you called it, stage two, I think, of now I know who I am, I know who I want to work with, and I can stand on a bit of my spice to help me attract and repel the right clients.

Cheryl Floris: [00:32:45] At the base of it really is kind of this underlying fear that we have, right? It's this fear of, okay, I know who I want to work with and who I don't want to work with, but financially, can I afford to cut out all of these people who aren't really my ideal clients? And the fear of what if I do ruffle feathers out there, right? And this is where like your personal development has to mesh with your professional development too. And you know, you are always going to place the ceilings on yourself. And if you can continue to work to bust through those ceilings, you are going to continue to succeed and being able to get to that position of, yeah financially, maybe I might not fill my client roster this month if I'm saying no to all these people, but that is energetically opening up the space for these clients that I know are out there and who want to work with me and see the value in what I have to offer and are willing to maybe pay your new prices. Right? And it's also those clients too, a reframe of the picture, it's those clients who are also willing to do the work. You know, it's the clients like, I've worked with a macro coach before and I completely fell off tracking, I ghosted, I was that client that I hated having when I worked at the gym.

Cheryl Floris: [00:34:15] But this coach, you know, I'm finally like, okay, I know her process. I know this works. I just need to trust it and I need to do the hard thing. So I am tracking my food when I don't want to. I am eating protein when I don't want to. And I've reaped the benefits of that already, right? So being able to open yourself up to these clients who want to work with you, see the value in working with you, are also going to do the work in working with you because they trust you, and thus are going to get the results from working with you. It's this full, it's this full circle effect of being able to work with somebody, and they commit to it because you open yourself up, you got specific in that person, and then getting the transformation out of it. And in the marketing world, that's fantastic because now you are regularly getting transformations. That's building trust. That's building authority with your audience. Right? But if you're constantly saying, yeah, I'm booked up, but I have no testimonials to show for it, I have zero results, I have no progress, nothing to actually give you, that's just telling people, yeah, she's filling up with clients, that's great, but where is the result? Like, is this actually going to work for me? Because I have no idea.

Kari Lotzien: [00:35:36] I want to flip this back because I also want to highlight this isn't just the health and wellness space. We've talked about gyms. We've talked about nutrition coaches. This works in every industry. I know for myself, you talk about as a coach, it's a really interesting industry because I'm really clear on the type of business owner that I work with best. I work with people primarily at what I call the teenager phase of business, where you're in a place where you're really done doing it all yourself, and you recognize that your business needs things that you can't offer. So you're looking to kind of build the strength in your business separate from you. That's my place. But you're absolutely right. I now lead with here's what I can do for you, and here's what you need to be able to give me in terms of your energy, your investment, your time. And you have to be coachable. And I think a lot of times we don't want to say that. We don't want to directly tell someone like, are you willing to change? Are you willing to consider another way of thinking about things? Because you can spend a lot of money and just justify the way you're already doing something, and tell me why you don't have time, and you don't have energy, and you don't have the resources to be able to do it, then you're not my client. And being able to let that go.

Kari Lotzien: [00:36:53] And I think it's the exact same thing in your industry, where I've been able to watch your progress over even the last couple of years, where you've done that within your business to say, okay, you know what, if you're a do it yourselfer, that's fine. Here's where you can go. But if you really want to dive into developing your brand, really thinking about what your content pillars are, but then pulling it into what are your stories, where's your spice, where is your specificity in your brand? That's going to take time and you have to show up. Yes, you can hire a web designer and say, yep, I like these colors, here's my logo, here's what I do, and then do something for me. You do all the work and then when I don't get visitors to my website and I don't get clients, I'm going to blame you for it. I think we're both in this space where we're saying, no, no, this is a partnership, and we need to both come to the table and do the work together. And to highlight that, take some, take some hutzpah to say, hey, listen, I'm not going to do all the work for you. I can, I can go to the gym five days a week, I can do all of these things, but that's not going to change what's showing up in your life. You have to come to it together. Yeah.

Cheryl Floris: [00:38:05] Yes 100%. Yep.

Kari Lotzien: [00:38:09] Okay my friends, we are well in the season of gift giving. And if you know of someone who's a small business owner in your life and you want to get them the perfect thing that you know will be so valued and appreciated and it'll just make them feel cared for, click on the link in the show notes. I've put together a guide of my favorite gift ideas for small business owners, and there is everything from absolutely free to a lot of options that are less than the price of a gift basket with lotions and candles. But it's really what people want. If you are a business owner, and maybe you just need some ideas of ways that people could support you, this might give you some good ideas of what to ask for. I'm sending you so much love this holiday season. Click on the link in the show notes. I'll send you the list. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:39:02] You've got a course called the Content Code that is phenomenal. I want the listeners to hear, like, Cheryl is so much more than just here's some, you know, unique ideas on how to post content. And I can tell you right away, her stuff is absolutely not that content that you're going to scroll by. Like, I get hooked in, I get hooked into your stories, I get hooked into your Instagram. I get hooked into all of it because you're really living exactly what you're talking about. This isn't just what you do, it's not a service you provide, you are absolutely emulating it in your own business. So listeners, like, go check out Cheryl's stuff because you're going to be able to see this in action in her business and how she does it, and then how she can also support you. Talk to us about, like, this content code course, because I'm excited about it.

Cheryl Floris: [00:39:55] Okay. So well, first off, thank you for that. I really appreciate that. I'm glad that it's resonating with you. So the Content Code, now essentially over the last eight months, I'd say like a big bulk of this year, I was just getting so fed up with content and with marketing and trying to figure out what the heck to say that would resonate with my audience, how to, you know, strategize like an actual month of content. I was seeing all of these posts from, you know, so many social media gurus on batching your content, batch a month's worth of content, but when you have nothing to go off of, how the heck do you write 30 captions and make 30 graphics and 30 posts in like a couple days, you know? It feels impossible, right? Especially when you have young kids running around and you have a life to live on top of that. And so I found myself downloading all of these freebies. I was on Pinterest downloading freebies, social media managers downloading freebies, reels gurus, all the freebies, signing up for workshops and classes and courses. And I can't even tell you how much money I spent on flipping Instagram content anything this year. Too much. Finally, I got to the point where I was downloading a freebie and I'd open it up and it'd be the exact same thing that I learned in the last five. People are telling me to use your content pillars of education and inspiration and value, and then post five days a week and do three reels and blah, blah, blah, and, you know, make a viral statement on your reel and all of a sudden you get 40,000 views and you're going to make $1 million in a year just from that.

Cheryl Floris: [00:41:40] Right? But nobody was telling me what to say and how to get there specifically for my audience and who I was talking to. I can post five days a week. I've been doing that for eight years at this point. I can make reels, you know, in less than, well now in less than an hour. Um, and like, I can have conversation in my DMs. Like, I can relate to people, yes, but tell me what to say. Tell me what to write and how to gain that information. And so I finally just got to a point where I said, you know what? I am not going to gatekeep anymore on how to do this. I am going to learn how to gain the skills to make content relevant, to be able to make it quickly and easily, and I just want to share that with everybody, because it is a prevalent struggle in so, so many business owners, and especially when you're a mom, when you're a parent. I remember one day in the summer telling the kids, yep, I just have to sit down and write this post out for work, and then we'll go down to the beach. And it was 2, 2.5 hours, 3 hours later. Right.? Like and at that point I was like, well, now it's nap time. So I guess we're not going to the beach today because of one post, you know?

Cheryl Floris: [00:43:01] Like we need to be able to leverage our time. And when it comes to social media, we need the skills to actually be able to craft a message that is going to stand out amongst all of the noise. So here's your next layer too, of creating something that's different visually, now in your message. So in the Content Code we go so much deeper than here's 30 content ideas and here's your four content pillars. We are going to help you break apart your ideal client so that you can, relating back to what I was saying earlier, figure out what's keeping them up at night. What is their thought stream at 6:00 in the morning where they're pouring their coffee and they're thinking about, oh, if only I could whatever, then my life would be so much better. It would be so much easier. Right? And being able to uncover, again, like all of the things they've tried, why it didn't work, and what they actually need now to provide the solution and how your offer then ties into that. We provide content pillars that are specific to you and your offers and your audience. We don't go with the educate, inspire, values, we relate this specifically to you and your offers so that you can continue to create content that's going to be relevant, and that's going to help take your audience through our awareness framework, which, at the top of it, if we picture it like a funnel, is awareness. So your first piece is getting views, building your audience, gaining followers.

Cheryl Floris: [00:44:38] And the second piece to your awareness, too, is shedding light on your audience's struggles. So that's the first piece that makes them go, oh, I've felt that before, I've experienced that. And then being able to move them down the funnel of building your community and connecting with them, making them stop and say, oh my gosh, she gets me. That is exactly what I'm going through right now. How is she in my head? That is what starts to build desire for your message and for what you're saying. Then being able to shift them down the funnel into value. Sharing your spicy points of view, sharing your stories, providing methods, tips, techniques, education. And once all 3, 4 of those layers are in, then offering up your solution and saying, hey, I have these coaching spots, here's how you can work with me, and them immediately thinking, oh, I like her, she gets me, I've done a couple of the tips she's given me and they've worked, so I'm going to book in with a call for her because I feel like she's the one, right? And a lot of the times that's the layer that we're missing, is being able to develop the content and shape the message in a way that connects with your ideal client soul. And that sounds heavy and weighty. But truthfully, if you have the know-how and you have the bank of information you can be pulling from, then creating content that is relevant, that's specific, and that actually converts your audience into clients, that is what's going to move your business along and make marketing easier.

Cheryl Floris: [00:46:19] You have a obligation to market your business, especially if you're in the health and wellness space. Your mission is to help people and to transform lives, right? And if you know that what you have is special and it will transform people's lives, you have an obligation to market it. Because there are people out there who are looking for you and your solution. And so we have to stop being in this mindset of, well, I don't know how to market, the algorithm hates me, social media oh, I'm so over it, whatever. And we have to move into actually getting the skills and the knowledge to be able to market what you have. Because you know, it's your right. You have to, you know? So that's what we really drive home in the Content Code is teaching you the skills to be able to uncover all these aspects and taking that, being able to build out 30 days worth of content topic. And on a weekly basis, like I've tried to make 30 days of captions. It does not work for me or my brain or my lifestyle. So I sit down on a weekly basis and I'll write out all my captions for five days. And I've been able to do that consistently. And it's done wonders for my mental health, for my time, and being able to do the work that actually needs to be done within my business, which is hands-on client work.

Kari Lotzien: [00:47:44] Beautiful. So the link will be in the show notes, because I know people are going to be excited and go, oh my gosh, like how do I get this? Because you can hear Cheryl's passion. You know that she's the real deal. Which is exactly why I brought her on. I hear so many things that you're saying, you know? I don't know what to say. I don't know what to write. I feel like I'm selling myself. This doesn't feel like me. And what I hope that you've heard in this podcast, in this episode, is just how this isn't about a generic plan. It's really about aligning it with your personality, your vision, your business. So I know that you're going to want to check that out. We are getting to a point of wrapping it up here. I want to kind of just dive a little bit into the backstory. So you've kind of referred to your kids and building a business with young kids and kind of what that's been like. When you think about the future direction of Hey Sunny Studio and what, where you want to go, what you want this to be, kind of how you're creating the life that you crave. What either advice would you give to people who are in this place where there may be questioning, is this worth it? Is this something that I want to move forward with? Talk to us about just what your dreams are. Where do you want to go?

Cheryl Floris: [00:48:56] Oh gosh, how do I not get emotional when talking about this? Truthfully, it's about providing opportunity for like for my kids and building out. When we first started, I had this vision of having this team of moms and we're all able to contribute financially to our household, maybe bring our husbands home from work and just be able to, again, like bring this opportunity for adventure and cup filling activities and just opening the doors to possibilities for our families. And ultimately, that is, that's the dream. That is the dream. And the mission to get there is helping business owners. It's kind of Matrix-y. It's helping business owners essentially build their business to be able to do the same. Right? It's providing women in business the opportunity, the tools, the knowledge, the know-how, the visuals, so they can grow their business to a point where, yeah, maybe they can bring their husbands home from work, or maybe they can start saving for a down payment for a house, or build the house of their dreams or, you know, go on holidays once a year with their family or whatever that looks like. Yeah. So that's the dream. That is the dream.

Kari Lotzien: [00:50:16] I am so passionate about, and now I'm going to get emotional, but building business together, this is absolutely one of my pillars. I want to create community. I see too many business owners feeling like they have to do it all themselves, that it's competitive, that they need to be ahead of the game, getting up at 4 a.m., you know, eating the frog, slaying the dragon, whatever the heck we're doing. And I just, t the women that are slaying it in business, I see over and over again, are the ones who want to lift each other up. Who are just like, I get it, I see you, I have something that I believe in that I feel has value and I'm willing to share it. And we're doing that not by giving it away, not by just giving a bunch of freebies, but that we're really valuing ourselves because we're pairing this idea of nurturing others with feeding our own families, building our own bank accounts, building financial abundance. And we can do this together. But we're shifting perspective, coming all the way back to the beginning of this episode when I talked about how women in business has changed over the last few decades. You know, this is a very short amount of time that we're making substantial changes in the way business operates, and we can't do it alone. We can't. It just, it has to be together. It has to be by utilizing each other's resources and just those words of encouragement. So thank you just so much for sharing that beautiful message because I think it so connects with my audience. I know it well. I love to ask in closing, when you think about your life, what helps you to stay anchored? That idea of just a point of stability and security, feeling like you've got your feet on the ground. How do you do that?

Cheryl Floris: [00:52:08] Some people call it faith, trust, prayer. Whatever floats your boat and fits into your world. But for me, it's just, it's trusting that everything is going to work out. So meditation practice, walks, reading, journaling, brainstorming, and leaning on my circle, that is what helps me stay grounded, especially when we are living in a time where, yes, we have so much opportunity, but there's also a lot of noise out there, there is a lot of different information, there's a lot of different techniques and what you should do and what you should invest in, and it's really easy to get clouded by so much information out there and being able to come back to you, your trust in yourself, your intuition and being able to to just listen to what you need and what is going to drive your business to the next stage. That is what helps keep me grounded. Because all of this, again, at the end of the day, I'm doing it for my kids, I'm doing it for my husband, and I'm doing it for my future. You know, failure is not an option. Setbacks, yes, because we always learn from setbacks. I have had my fair share. But failure is not an option, and you have to be willing to pivot and grow and have some tenacity in that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:53:31] So good. Oh, thank you so much for your time today. I know that the audience is just going to eat this up, and I just, I really want to thank you for your passion, your integrity, just how real you are and how how you let us have a back glimpse into your personal stories and and sharing that with us today. So all the very best. Thank you so much for being here. And--

Cheryl Floris: [00:53:59] Thank you!

Kari Lotzien: [00:54:00] Just a reminder, if you have not liked and subscribed to the podcast yet, please make sure that you do. And let's be honest, navigating the world of marketing is not easy, especially for small business owners trying to do it all themselves. So if you know of someone who's on this journey, take a screenshot and make sure that you link and share this episode with them. It's how we build community together and help support others on this journey of business. Thanks so much for being here.

Kari Lotzien: [00:54:31] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

16 - Finding Joy

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 12 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000

Today I want to take a moment to talk about joy. Not just joy itself, but about finding joy when it’s not easy to see. Right now a lot of people, people both close and unrelated to me, are going through incredible challenges - loss of loved ones, health issues, financial struggles, not being able to meet basic needs - and coupled with what’s going on in the world, it sparks confusion and a sense of helplessness in me. How do I make a difference or find peace?

You might be feeling that way too. I’m certain you can identify with the feelings of not having the answers or being able to solve things. But I have realized that sometimes we have to give up control and simply accept that we don’t always get to know the why, the how, and the way to fix things. We have to give up control. How do we do that?

The advice I have for you today centers on the idea of gratitude for no reason. It’s easy to be grateful when things are going our way and we’re succeeding. But that’s not true gratitude. How can learn to be grateful, to find happiness and joy, when things aren’t going well for us? I’ll tell you how I’ve started working on it. The things I’ve focused on day to day to make sure I’m not letting life go by without some sense of gratitude. I hope this episode can help you appreciate little things that are always there so you can find bits of joy this season.

Key Moments

02:46 When we need to look beyond ourselves

04:33 Happy for no reason

07:43 One of the things I have come to be grateful for

We can be happy or unhappy for a reason, but we need to cultivate happiness for no reason
There is power in great art and music
Pets spark gratitude

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Gift Guide for Small Business Owners
QuickBooks Online
“Happy For No Reason” by Marci Shimoff

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. I want to talk today about looking for joy and in particular looking for joy when it's not super easy to find. What I noticed the last few weeks is that there are a lot of people going through hard stuff. I have friends who are facing challenges as their loved ones are passing and going through incredible challenges with their own health. I've noticed more and more people who are really struggling to meet their financial needs, their basic needs, putting food on the table, let alone planning some sort of a holiday for their families and their children. When I look at what's going on in the world, there are times where I feel both confused and helpless and I don't know how to make a difference. I don't know how to let people know that I care. And as someone who's a high performer and who really loves to solve problems, it's really challenging to find peace in those moments where you don't have the answer and you don't know what the roadmap is, and you don't know how to make things different.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:28] Today, when I thought about my episode, I thought, you know what, maybe you're feeling that way too. And maybe together I can share a little bit of the advice that I've been given over the years when things are hard, and maybe that'll help somebody today, too. What I found is that this is a time, when things are difficult, that we need to look beyond ourselves. That sometimes the answers don't lie between our own ears. As much as I like to think that if I just focus hard enough and think hard enough and do the work and put action behind it, that I can make a difference, sometimes we can't. And that acceptance that sometimes it takes more than me and sometimes I don't get to know. I don't get to know why. I don't get to have the answers. I don't get to be able to know what to do next. And those things are hard for me. Giving up control, feeling like there's a greater purpose, has not always been something that's come easily. There are people who it does, and I am always somewhat intrigued by the people who can have that higher sense of faith and trust. Bless your hearts, but for me, it just doesn't come easily. I want to know how to fix things. What I noticed in myself is that when I would look to a gratitude practice, which was something that I'd been told about time and time again, that one of the ways that we lead towards success is being grateful for what we currently have. And one of the things that I noticed is that I found it easy to be grateful when things were going well. When I was meeting my goals, when I was overcoming challenges, when I was helping other people, and I was seeing the impact that it had, and I was watching this unfold in a positive direction. Now I know that that's actually not true gratitude.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:33] I read a book years ago called Happy For No Reason, and in this book she talked about when you are happy for a reason, such as what I just described, being happy because you're getting ahead, being happy because things are going well, being happy because the weather is great, or you've got money in the bank or your friends and family are moving ahead in their lives, and you're just so proud of them. That's being happy for a reason. Sometimes we're unhappy for a reason as well. We're unhappy because things are hard. We're unhappy because we don't have health, or we're having financial struggles, or we're facing something that we don't know how to get out of. Unhappy for a reason. I think with gratitude, it's this bigger idea that we can be happy for no reason. It's finding even the smallest thread of joy in the midst of anything that is going on, no matter what it is, no matter if you feel like you are overwhelmed with the pressures of life, no matter if you feel like you don't have the answers, or you don't know how to help, or you don't know what to do. There are moments where the light can come in, where there's just a crack in the density of whatever we're holding, where we can see that glimmer of gratitude.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:01] Now, if, like me, that doesn't come completely naturally to you, and you notice that the things you're grateful for could also be equated with things are good, things are easy, I'm moving forward, let me talk to you a little bit more about where I've been finding gratitude lately. Just to show the difference. So I can be grateful, I can be thrilled when things are going well. And I want to build on those. But I also want to find these moments that feel beyond myself. They feel like something bigger than me, that my only role, the only thing I need to do is pause and notice. And that's it.

[00:06:50] Okay, my friends, we're well in the season of gift giving. And if you know of someone who's a small business owner in your life and you want to get them the perfect thing that you know will be so valued and appreciated and it'll just make them feel cared for, click on the link in the show notes. I've put together a guide of my favorite gift ideas for small business owners, and there is everything from absolutely free to a lot of options that are less than the price of a gift basket with lotions and candles. But it's really what people want. If you are a business owner, and maybe you just need some ideas of ways that people could support you, this might give you some good ideas of what to ask for. I'm sending you so much love this holiday season. Click on the link in the show notes. I'll send you the list. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:43] One of the things that brings me this feeling is watching sunrises and sunsets. And lately we've been having some incredible sunrises, especially here, where the whole sky just fills with this beautiful pink cotton candy sky. And in the moment I would at first notice and think, oh my gosh, that is so beautiful. And when I follow the thread of gratitude, I can follow it to a place that says I am so grateful that I'm here in this moment. That my window faces this direction and that I was able to take five minutes this morning and truly appreciate the beauty that unfolded right in front of me. Wasn't on my schedule, wasn't something I planned for, I have absolutely no control over it. My only role is to notice and appreciate.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:43] And it changes how I feel in my body. It makes me feel like there is a message so much greater than myself that it is going to be okay. That even though I don't understand it, I don't know how a sunrise happens, I don't know what makes the sky turn this beautiful pink hue. And I don't think it's for me to know. It is simply for me to appreciate. I also get this same feeling when I listen to artists, songwriters, music. I can stand in just pure appreciation for how something so complex, the lyrics, the music, the instruments, and how it all just comes together in some beautiful perfection. And my role is to just notice it. And I even hold back sometimes from thinking, ooh, I like that song, or I don't like that song, or analyzing, oh, who is that singer? Or what is that instrument? Can I just pause and appreciate the full impact of the beauty in this creation. I think some people find that in art as well. A beautiful painting or a drawing or a sculpture. Any of those things where our role is just to hold it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:09] The other little piece that I'm finding gratitude in right now is my dog smiling. Now, I don't know how many of you have dogs that smile. But every morning I feed my dog. She eats, and as soon as she's finished, she will come to me wherever I am in the house and lick my hand as if she's saying, thanks for looking after me. And when I look down at her, she looks up and smiles. And I think, what a beautiful world I get to live in, where I have a dog that smiles at me and thanks me for looking after her. Again, it makes me feel like there's something bigger than myself. I talk to the dog all day long. I take advice, I share all my thoughts and feelings and frustrations with her. But the connection, I think sometimes that we have with animals and their ability to lean in, to snuggle up, to give us that look, or to just cuddle up on our laps when things are hard, makes me feel like there is something more. It makes me feel like things are going to be okay. And it's through nothing that I do, or nothing that I say or nothing that I create. It is beyond me. Another little gratitude moment are just conversations, small ones where I can see humor in just the smallest little thing, where I can have a giggle with a perfect stranger and see something funny in the world. It can be small thing or a big thing. Where we just share a moment.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:51] It can be when I thank someone for their service, or I give someone a compliment by just telling them, oh my gosh, you look amazing today or you are glowing. And watching their face light up. That feels like gratitude. And although I may have had some impact on it, I also love being a bystander. I also love just watching. I love watching and consciously looking for connection. When I see it, you know, a little one running up to their parent and being so excited and jumping into their arms. I see it when I'm out and maybe a young couple in love is holding hands and just the way they look at each other lights me up. I think this holds the key that opens the door to true joy. I feel that joy and the experience of joy, it's more than an emotion. It's more than just creating situations that feel easy and feel abundant and are turning our lives ahead. I think these small little micro doses of joy are like a key that opens the door to so much more. And I think that our human experience is about pausing and understanding that our role is merely gratitude. It's noticing and seeing it and appreciating it in the moment.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:21] Oh, it's a short episode today. But this one was really speaking to me. I hope that no matter what is going on in your life right now, no matter how much you want to solve a problem, no matter how much you want to make a change or to move forward, if things feel hard or sticky or you just don't know what to do, I hope that these tips and these little examples of ways to just appreciate, notice, can light something in you, can just provide that glimmer of hope that you can start looking for it in your own life and just notice. Does it compound? Does it spread to others? I bet it does.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:06] Thank you so much for being here. If you haven't liked and subscribed to the podcast yet, please do. It just means the world to me. And even better, the thing that would make the most difference to me today is if you shared this podcast, this episode, with someone who might be struggling to find the joy. And just let them know that you're thinking about them. Maybe let them know that thinking of them, their humor, their face, a story, a favorite memory, was what was a key for you today. And then pass and just see what ripple could happen. Thanks so much for being here.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:49] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

15 - Networking and Holiday Parties for the Socially Awkward

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 5 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000

I am talking about something that I know all too well in this episode: feeling awkward in social settings. I’m specifically talking about holiday parties and networking events for those of us who are socially anxious and who find social events stressful and nerve-wracking. You’re not alone! I’ve found some things that help me not just survive but actually enjoy networking and parties and I’m sharing those with you.

Some of you, like my spouse, are socially at ease in any situation. You can make chit-chat and strike up casual conversations without any worry at all. So this may all sound foreign to you. But if you’re one of those people who find social networking easy, hopefully, this episode will give you more insight into what some of your friends and colleagues are going through.

The strategies I use to help myself through parties and events have a lot to do with preparation. I think one of the biggest things that causes social anxiety is the fear of not knowing what to say. We walk into the room and are nervous about having anything to talk about and just feel overwhelmed. I actually prepare conversation topics in advance. It might sound strange, but being prepared takes some of the anxiety away. I have a lot of advice and tips to share and I want this episode to make all of you who are socially awkward feel less alone, and to give you tools to make it through the holidays less stressed.

Key Moments

06:18 Creating a strategy around chit-chat and how to try it out

08:37 An easy way to prepare for a party with friends

10:24 How to prepare for a networking event

You can gamify your networking goals to make it more fun
Set yourself an end time, you’re allowed to know in advance when you want to leave
Watch alcohol intake

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach, Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us, to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk about holiday parties and networking for those of you who are socially anxious or just feel awkward in social settings. This is me. I can tell you that I get stressed when I need to go to a holiday party or something that sounds like it's supposed to be fun for other people. For me, it causes me a lot of stress and I get really nervous. I don't know what I'm going to talk about. And if that's you, I wanted to do this episode, number one, so you know that you're not alone, that there is not all of these people out in the world that love to connect with other people and that we are somehow outsiders. I think there's a lot of us. And the more people that I've talked to about this, the more I have people opening up to me that they feel the same way I do. So I wanted to have this, like side conversation with you to give you maybe some ideas on how I have coped. I am not an expert at all in this area, but I feel like maybe I've got some things that might be helpful for you too.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:20] Now, I think, like many of us who feel socially anxious or awkward, somehow we connect with partners that are outgoing and sociable and that these things come naturally to them. At least, that's how it is in my life. My partner, my spouse, I don't know if he was born with it, but he is amazing when it comes to connecting with people, striking up light conversation. He knows how to blend a great story and add a little humor. I feel like I am missing that part of my brain. I tend to be a little more serious, a little more rigid, and I feel like I can't pull off this casual 'How's the weather' type conversation. Now, if you want to tell me about your deepest challenges or your biggest dreams, or the most exciting vacation you ever went on, if you want to talk to me about how worried you are about your kids, I am all there for it. Having deep conversations is much, much easier for me than this more light-hearted chit-chat. I don't know why that is.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:35] A lot of people are really surprised when they hear how much anxiety I have in a social situation because they're like, Kari, you have a podcast, you do a lot of speaking engagements, you speak on stages all over the place. Yeah, I do. But I think a part of it, and why I really enjoy it is because when I do these episodes or I'm speaking on stages, I know what we're going to talk about. I can rehearse the topics and the ideas and the conversation, and therefore it reduces my anxiety because it's really predictable. Even on guest episodes, I have a pretty good idea what we're going to talk about before we start talking. In my coaching, I love really deep diving with people and being that safe place. I think that is my superpower. But social, where there's a lot of people in a group and we're supposed to be having a good time and there's no agenda of what we're going to talk about, oh my goodness, that that I find really overwhelming. And maybe you do too.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:45] So I want to acknowledge that this is not just impacting me in places where there are perfect strangers. I can actually strike up a conversation more easily with a perfect stranger than I can with an acquaintance. And I think it's because with a stranger, they have no expectation of me, I have no expectation of them, and I can choose whether or not I want to talk to them. So sitting beside a perfect stranger on a plane, or standing in a grocery store line-up and striking up a conversation with the person behind me, that I can do some of the time if I'm in the right, the right state of mind, it works. But I think with strangers, because there's not as much expectation, it feels a little bit easier and it typically isn't going to last as long on a flight. I'll really think about if I'm going to strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to me, and when I'm going to do it based on how long the flight is, because I don't want to be stuck in a conversation for hours with someone that I happen to be sitting right beside when I can't predict it. So if it's a long flight, I often won't strike up a conversation with someone until the last like 15-20 minutes of the flight. It feels safer.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:09] If it's a one-hour flight, I'm more likely to open that door or make just a casual comment way earlier in the flight. I create strategy around how I'm going to chit-chat. If it's a grocery store line-up, I likely know I'm only going to be with this person for five minutes so I can kind of try out my new content with how to create chit-chat in an easier way. So I might talk about the weather. I might talk about the price of food. I might talk about, you know, random things, and I kind of try out my content on those people and just see how it responds. And then I kind of prepare it for when I'm in new situations where I'm in a networking meeting or I'm at a holiday party, or I'm at a gathering with a group of people that I'm supposed to be connecting with. Now I've kind of got some pre-rehearsed content that I've tried out on the people in the grocery store line-up that I can now apply to my situation. Now, that might sound completely crazy to you, and if it does, you're probably someone more like my husband than like me. And if you're one of those people, you're probably just going to listen to this and be like, this sounds insane. But it might also help you to understand your partner, your spouse, your friends who don't have this magical thing that you have. So maybe continue to listen or come back to the next episode.

[00:07:26] Okay my friends, we are well in the season of gift-giving. And if you know of someone who's a small business owner in your life and you want to get them the perfect thing that you know will be so valued and appreciated and it'll just make them feel cared for, click on the link in the show notes. I've put together a guide of my favorite gift ideas for small business owners, and there is everything from absolutely free to a lot of options that are less than the price of a gift basket with lotions and candles. But it's really what people want. If you are a business owner, and maybe you just need some ideas of ways that people could support you, this might give you some good ideas of what to ask for. I'm sending you so much love this holiday season. Click on the link in the show notes. I'll send you the list. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:26] Okay. Now, other things that I do when I'm having to be in a group situation with friends or acquaintances, I research. So again, like this might sound crazy and and I'm okay with it because it might help someone, and seriously, we need to be in this together. I will go back and I'll look through their social media. So if it's friends, I'll go back through their social media and I'll think of like 2 or 3 things that are going on in their life. So if they've taken a trip or maybe one of their kids has had an exciting thing happen in their lives, or I know what they might be interested in, I will put notes in my phone. I put the person's name, and then I'll put like 2 or 3 points of things that are happening in their lives that I've seen on social media that I can then use when I'm more anxious and I can't think of what to say. I'll sneak off, I'll go to the washroom, and I'll have a quick look at my phone and be like, okay, these are the three things that I can talk to that person about. And then I don't sound so crazy. Because before what would happen is I would go in unprepared and then I wouldn't know what to talk about and it would seem awkward.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:28] So then I would either talk too much about what was going on in my life, and I'd get nervous and try to hold the conversation, or I would end up with these, like, kind of open-ended questions that felt a little bit shallow or disconnected with the other person. And then I would get home after the event and when my anxiety was lower, I'd be like, oh my gosh, I should have asked them about this situation, or I should have asked them how their mom was doing, I heard she was sick, or I should have made a comment about that big vacation that they went on, or that big promotion that they just celebrated at work. And then I would feel like a jerk, because it would seem like I didn't show up in a way that I cared. And this just helps me to kind of remind myself of what's going on in people's lives so that my anxiety doesn't take over. And then I have, my brain is a blank. So. Sounds weird. Might work.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:24] If it's more of like a networking event where I don't necessarily know the other people as well, like on a friend basis, then I will actually go on to their website. I'll go on to their social media platforms in their business, and I do the same thing. I won't research every single person that's going to be in there, but I will have a target. So if there's 1 or 2 people that I'm wanting to meet, or I'm sincerely wanting to learn more about what they do or their business or whatever that is, I will actually go and I'll make a list again in the notes app in my phone, because I will have it with me. And it would be weird to bring out like a notebook of my ideas of what I can talk about in a social setting. So I don't want to look strange, but I do want to have this with me. I'll just make a few notes of who I want to talk with. And here's the cool thing about it, if you make the note and you write the person's name down and their business name, and then a couple of ideas you want to talk about, even if you don't look at your phone, even if you don't even look at that list, it will actually help you to remember their name and help you to be more prepared when you're in the moment so your anxiety doesn't just completely take over. It also helps to focus your attention, because another strange thing that would sometimes happen with me is I would go into an environment and I just feel overwhelmed by the number of people in the room. So I can hear all of these people, I can see all of these people, but I actually might not recognize people that I kind of know that I might be comfortable talking to, or that I want to talk to because I get a little bit more overwhelmed.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:00] So this way, if I, sometimes I'll actually even put a screenshot or a picture in their off their social media so that I recognize their face, and then I can start to do some pre-work by learning that face and that name and putting them together. Because how many times have you been in a situation where someone introduces you to another person and the name isn't even out of their mouths yet, and you've forgotten it already? You feel like you look like you're not caring or not listening. Not the case. So you can do a little bit of pre-work like flashcards by looking at the picture and pairing the name with it, and then putting that into an app or into your, even your notes app on your phone, so that you can create that visual image of connection and then have a couple of topics to talk about. Then when you get introduced, your brain goes, oh yeah, yeah, we remember that person and it will connect the ideas more easily for you as you then start to strike up a conversation. So you're not relying on that in the moment, trying to think of something to say. You've kind of pre-prepared it in your own mind. Now, if you feel like this sounds like not very personable and not very natural and caring, I can tell you in my own life when I do this, it actually allows me to be the caring, compassionate human that I really want to be, and it allows me to show up in a more natural way. I get just really weird and awkward, and I can't remember what to say when I don't have these tools and strategies to help kind of prep me along the way. So maybe that helps for you too.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:34] Now I will also game-ify it, so I will make a little scorecard almost, to help me like remind that meeting new people and making new connections does not have to be awful, it can be fun. And so I will make myself a little like scorecard or a little cheat sheet to say, okay, find one other person who enjoys hiking or camping. Find one person who could recommend a great virtual assistant. Find one person and hear what they like to do over the holidays, or if they're traveling outside of the country. And then once I've met those three things, then I'm done. Then I can go home. So this is the other big thing is so often we go to these networking events and we don't know how long we have to stay. And when we feel awkward, especially at the beginning, you might have only been there four minutes and you're thinking, okay, when can I leave? When will be a natural time when I can actually get out of here? Give yourself a little bit of a scorecard, make it a little bit fun, and then once you've hit those goals that you set for that event, even if it's family holidays, once you've had your three conversations, you've talked to so-and-so about their kid going off to university, you've talked to someone about their promotion at work, and you've, you know, connected with one of the kids in the group, and now you can leave.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:05] Give yourself permission to not stay until the very end, until you're overwhelmed and you're tired and you're exhausted. So you can set a time limit as well. Like you can just give yourself permission that you're going to leave at 9:00, and you don't have to make an excuse that you're not feeling well. You don't have to say that you have a headache. Just simply thank the host so much for having you and then you peace out. Setting an end time will help your mind know that this isn't going to go on forever, and it's not something that you're just tolerating, but that you actually have a time that it will end. I can also tell you that I know hosts who question, can I put an end time on my event? Can I put an end time on my party because I don't like when people stay until midnight, then I'm exhausted and I still want to clean up and I don't feel well the next day. And I always say to people, clear is kind. So if you tell the host, oh, I'm so grateful that you invited me, you know, I'll be able to stop in, but I need to leave by 9, I hope that's okay. Right? So you just kind of put it out there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:15] But even as the host, you can put an end time on your event. You can say that it is from 5:00 until 9:00 pm, or it is from 7 until midnight, whatever that is, when you know that there's an end in mind, now it's just that clear is kind. It puts borders on the expectations and it'll allow you to feel more comfortable. So whether you're a guest or a host, you can do that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:40] Here's the other big one. And again from experience, eat before you go and eat something substantial. Here's why. So you might find yourself thinking, oh, there's going to be snacks there, I don't need to eat, I'll just eat when I get there. But then if you're anxious, you might find a) you either eat and eat and eat because it's a way that you're doing something with your hands and you're occupying yourself, but then you eat way more than you wanted to, or you eat things that just don't make you feel good. I do that. Or you don't eat enough and you find yourself maybe when you get feeling socially anxious, you might feel nauseous and it just doesn't quite feel right. So then you don't eat enough. Now your anxiety actually increases because your body is also giving off hunger signals like, hey, how come you didn't feed me? Combine that with the social anxiety you're feeling and the whole thing just feels more awkward. So eat before you go.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:41] Which then connects to the next one: be really conscious of your alcohol intake. Again, sometimes when we feel anxious, if you're the type of person that will naturally stand beside the food counter and just be popping things in your mouth because... Another topic, but eating actually can help regulate your nervous system. It actually makes you feel more calm. So we might do this naturally to try and calm our nervous system, but sometimes people will also do the same thing, you have a drink in your hand, and when we're feeling a little bit more anxious, you might just notice that you're taking more drinks than you typically would. And the next thing you know, your social anxiety goes down because you might now be feeling the effects of the alcohol in your system. The anxiety goes down but now you might act or say or do things that are not really in alignment with the image that you want to portray in that environment. So protect yourself from yourself and know in advance that maybe you're going to consciously take one alcoholic drink, and then you're going to make sure that you follow it up with water or something that is a non-alcoholic beverage, so that you know that you're not accidentally impairing yourself as you're going through this thing.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:04] And be cautious too, because there are times where that just the impact of alcohol in our system, it lowers our social anxiety, and we also want to, I think, be cautious and careful that we're not using that to then build a bridge for us to feel more comfortable with other people, because then that can become a crutch that we're starting to explore on a more regular basis when we need to be with other people. And without any judgment at all, it's something that I often hear my clients talking about, that alcohol is often a part of social events, it's part of networking events, it's part of holiday things, and they are a little bit anxious just about that, that they don't want to drink too much, or they're concerned that it is starting to become a crutch. So I just want to acknowledge that with you, that just be aware of it. Just be aware as you move through.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:04] So networking for holiday success for the socially awkward like myself. We don't want to avoid. We know, we've heard that we need to be engaging with people. We want to be making those connections both in our business and in our lives. This is what creates the life that you love. It is being with people who are like-minded, who are kind, and by staying at home or avoiding those situations, we don't get the experience and the reminder that most often people are good. And most often when you go back and you look at that event that you might have been nervous to go to, or you might have been a little bit unsure, you will notice most of the time that it actually was better than you thought it was going to be. Your brain is trying to protect you from new situations by thinking of all the catastrophic things that could happen and how awful it will be, and by just sealing up a bookend to go, actually, that was better than I thought. And the little strategies and tips that I've shared with you have helped me to feel more confident in those social situations, especially when I'm with acquaintances or people that I don't see as often so that I can show up in a way that I feel more like myself, I'm more conscious of the image that I want to present, and it is so much more likely that the next morning or after the event is over, that I will have that little voice in my head that goes, huh, that was better than I thought, and I do feel a little bit better. I feel a little bit closer to other people. I am making those connections. I'm building that community because that's what we all want to do. I think that's what the world is about, is creating community and connections. Some of us just might need a little bit more support in how we do that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:59] All right, I want to finish this episode. We are coming up to year end. For a lot of us who have end of fiscal year, year ends. And I want to share one of my favorite things with you. As I close up, I'm going to be sharing more and more of these things throughout the podcast, I want to talk about QuickBooks Online. I was introduced to QuickBooks Online by my bookkeeper, because I am one of those people that has great intentions to make sure that my expenses are uploaded, to make sure that I keep track of my receipts so that the world is easier when I take it to my bookkeeper, but I inevitably would end up at year end with a pile of receipts in Ziploc bags and shoe boxes that are crumpled up. Half of them are missing, and I would always feel guilty when I took them to the bookkeeper and dumped this all on her. And she introduced me to QuickBooks online, which has an app, and now I can take a quick photo of my receipts and upload them through my app when I'm at the restaurant, when I'm at that event, when I've made that purchase for office supplies, it's so much quicker and easier, and the reports that I'm able to generate are actually in terms that I understand.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:12] So I am a better business owner. My books are more accurate and more close to real time, so that I can get a pulse on my business and how we're actually doing. I wanted to share that with you. Check out QuickBooks Online, especially if you're coming up to year end and you're having that feeling of, oh gosh, I should have been better at this. I had the best intentions. Maybe next year you set yourself up to be really successful and get on those things so you can have a closer vision of how your business is doing.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:43] Thanks so much for being here. If you haven't liked and subscribed to the podcast yet, you know how to do it. Whatever platform you're on, go click on those three little dots and make sure you follow. Even better, if you know someone who is feeling socially awkward in those networking events in those holiday parties this season, take a screenshot or share this episode with them and let them know they're not alone. We can do this together and make those connections and build community. We'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:24:16] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

14 - Take the Emotion Out of It and Other BS Advice

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 28 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000

I was listening to a podcast that was advising leaders on how to take the emotion out of delivering difficult news to employees and it got me fired up. I believe taking the emotion out of anything is taking the humanity out of connection. That’s what I’m talking about today: how to be a great leader by working with your emotions.

Delivering hard news without emotion makes you come across as cold, hard, and uncaring. That’s not how you want to appear to the people who have done the hard work and their best jobs for you. We aren’t advised to take the emotion out of exciting news or joyful things, so why should we remove it from hard things? I think we do it to avoid feeling uncomfortable. Let’s talk about that.

Emotions are not a gendered issue, either. All humans have emotions and leading with compassion is a human quality, not a gendered one. So join me to find out how to lead with emotion in a healthy way. What does that look like? How can we avoid explosive emotions without ignoring them entirely? How do we share our emotions in ways that allow our employees to feel safe in their own emotions as well?

Key Moments

03:20 How it looks when delivering hard news without emotion

05:02 Explaining ways in which emotion shows up

09:40 How to manage our emotions before sharing them

Partner your logical mind with your emotions before sharing news
The importance of creating a safe space for everyone’s emotion
The dangers of being emotional to customers but closed off to employees

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. I am fired up a little bit again today. I was listening to a podcast, and it was talking to leaders about how to take the emotion out of delivering hard or difficult news to an employee, and it just ticked me off because I thought taking the emotion out of it is like taking the humanity out of connection. It is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and I think we need to take this to the recycling bin. Actually, no. The trash. I don't want to ever see it again. I am so tired of hearing this idea in leadership that to be a great leader and for people to respect you, it means that you need to shut off your emotion and that you just deliver the hard news. I think it disconnects us not only from our teams and our employees, it disconnects us from our customers and from each other. And the biggest issue is I think it disconnects us from ourselves.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:17] Let me tell you more about it. I have never heard anyone say to take the emotion out of something when you are excited, or when you're joyful, or when you're sharing a win in your business. When you are fired up and things are going so well, nobody tells you to take the emotion out of it. The only time we ever hear 'take the emotion out of it' is when we're delivering difficult news, when we've had an underperforming employee, where maybe you have to lay people off, where you're telling someone that they're not doing a great job. This is when we're giving the advice to take the emotion out of it. And I think the reason we do it is because we're not comfortable, that we don't like feeling discomfort in conversations. We don't like to show that we feel anxious or fearful or maybe really frustrated or we're angry. So we're told that in those specific scenarios shut the emotion off, deliver the hard conversation, and carry on with your day.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:20] We have gone through some really tough times in business in these last few years, and a lot of people have had to lay off employees, cut back on hours, change job allocations, and we know in our hearts that people may not be really excited about these changes. What I know for sure is that when you try to deliver this type of information without any emotion, you come across as being cold, uncaring, not having compassion. And these are the people who have often showed up in your business, they've done the hard work, they're doing their best jobs for you. And when you show up and shut off emotion and deliver difficult news to them without showing compassion, we're doing it the wrong way. And I think what we're trying to do is just protect ourselves from those uncomfortable feelings. Another little sidebar that I want to address here is that when I talk about emotions in leadership, people often think that I'm speaking to the female leaders, and I'm not. Men have emotions, too. Men lead with their emotions. Men have compassion, and they create incredible teams as much as women. This is not a gender-specific issue. Just because you are emotional does not mean that you are feminine.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:51] I am talking to everyone in leadership. Instead of talking about emotions as being a gender issue, I like to think of it as being more like developmental stages. When we show up with our emotions like a toddler, I want you to envision what that looks like. Toddlers, typically when they're upset, don't think about other people. They're very self-focused and they just want what they want. Their emotions are big and intense and they kind of flare them all over the place. We don't want to show up with our emotions like a toddler, because when we show up like that, the image we give to others is that we don't have that empathy, that care and compassion, and we also don't have a sense of control over those big emotions. You might also think of it like a teenager. I don't know about you, but I remember that stage being a teenager where I wanted to portray one image of maybe being confident or having courage and being able to stand out in a crowd. But inside I was anxious and nervous and fearful. I think when we show up with our emotions like a teenager, it feels incongruent because we forget that that whole fake it til you make it, it doesn't quite land. We sometimes forget that not only our emotions show up in the way that we speak and the words that we use, but it shows up in our body language, our facial expressions, our tone of voice. And it is really difficult, if not impossible, to fake that sort of emotion. And it just comes off as kind of awkward and weird. What we want to do is show up like a well-regulated adult that can see the bigger picture, that understands empathy and emotion and is in alignment with their emotions. We're not letting them lead like a toddler. We're not trying to navigate this back and forth like a teenager, of presenting an image that isn't in alignment with how we're actually feeling. We want to partner with our emotion and move forward from there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:03] And the more that I work with employers who have been in business for years, what I hear from them is when they have to have hard conversations, when they have to lay people off, when they have to tell someone that they weren't the successful candidate for that job, and they know that that person was so hopeful that they had already started spending their first paycheck. They had already told their friends and their family members that they were sure that they got the job, and you're the one that has to let them down. Every employer I know, when they have a safe space to open up, they talk to me about how much that affects them. They talked me about how days after they had to have layoffs, they couldn't sleep, that their stomach was just in knots. Their emotion still lands in their own bodies.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:56] Now, what does it feel like when we can show up in a healthy way? Leading with emotion? This doesn't mean that you let that toddler who is letting their emotions lead, where their logical thinking brain is not on par, which is often why they don't have any words when that happens, we don't want to lead with our emotion like a toddler. We don't want to let it come into the room first and set the tone for the meeting before our logical-thinking brains get there. And we've all been there. You've had leaders, coaches, teachers over years that you have seen when their emotion walked in the door before their brains did. They're yelling, they're screaming. They're maybe crying or telling you how upset or overwhelmed they feel. Maybe the anxiety is leading and they're just sharing this doom and gloom story with you. We know that leading with that type of emotion doesn't feel good for anyone. Because when we lead with intense emotion as a leader, those who we are leading, those who we are sharing information with, it will induce feelings of discomfort, uncertainty. They don't know what to expect, they don't know what's going on, and it can feel really dysregulating for them. But that doesn't mean we shut it down. What we want to do is partner with our emotion by first taking some time before that interaction happens, before you have to deliver that difficult news, before you have to step into that challenging meeting where you're going to talk about the change that's upcoming that you think might not be received so well.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:41] Spend some time with your emotion before you go into that meeting and just ask yourself, what am I truly feeling about this? Acknowledge it. Give yourself a chance to say, this is really upsetting me. I'm so angry. And then the secondary question is to ask yourself, what is the story I'm creating about this emotion? We have an emotion, the first thing our logical brains will do is try to attach it to logical fact as to why we should feel that way. Once you get your logical thinking connected to your emotion, it allows you to then unpack it a little bit to say, okay, there might be other reasons.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:23] Okay, I want to share a story that highlights this idea of how we connect stories and emotions. A few years ago, I was going into a significant contract negotiation with one of our stakeholders, and before the negotiations were taking place, I knew that this contractor was asking us to make significant changes in our service delivery model, and it was a request that I was not comfortable with at all.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:54] I felt angry, I felt that this stakeholder was asking us to do something, and not appreciating the value of what we were providing to their clients. The care and the service and the quality of what we were doing was not being appreciated, and they were just cutting and cutting and cutting. And I felt that what was happening is they believed we would continue to do a great service, but that they wouldn't have to pay the money for it and it would cut into our revenue. At first I was really angry and I wanted to go into that negotiation, trying to be defensive of our position and to fight back. I took a little bit of time, sat with it, and went back to visiting the core values of my business and how we wanted to show up in that service provision. What it got really clear on is that the requests that were being made of us were not in alignment with the service delivery model that we had prided ourselves on for years. And I felt that if we agreed to do this, to make these changes, that it was going to damage our reputation, potentially to a point that would be very, very difficult, if not impossible to recover from.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:07] And I wasn't willing to take the chance. I got really clear on that, and when I went into the negotiation, prepared to talk about the core values and how we have the same goals, and that we wanted to be on the same page and we wanted to have this true partnership - I got clear on that - but when I showed up for the negotiation, the meeting start to finish, from the time I got out of my car until I was back in my car was less than ten minutes. I didn't get a chance to talk about anything that I was passionate about. I didn't get a chance to talk about our results and the testimonials and all of the great things that we had been doing. All I got was based on the initial conversation we had had when the request had been made to cut services and to change our delivery model, based on my initial reaction to that, they had decided that my company was no longer demonstrating the flexibility that they were requiring to move forward with the delivery, and they were choosing to pursue other options. Didn't even get a chance to come to the table. I went back to my car and I spiraled. I felt that my emotions had led. I felt that shame. I felt I did something wrong, that now I potentially had catastrophic consequences for my team. That one stakeholder represented about 30% of our revenue and having the loss, even though we were going to have a few months to navigate that as we finished out the current contract, I knew that it was going to have a significant impact on our business.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:49] I chose to not go back to the office that day, because I knew that our whole team knew that I was going into this negotiation. They knew that it was being a bit tense, and they were going to ask me, and I did not have the capacity to hold my emotion back. I was just feeling completely overwhelmed and afraid, honestly, of what was going to happen in the business. So I took some time. I got clear. Because I knew that if I showed up in that meeting with all of my fears around what was going to happen, losing 30% of our revenue, that my team was going to feel that uncertainty, and I was setting them up to feel like they should be afraid. When I came back into that meeting and I got really clear and I came back to the core values of our business and the delivery model that I had, that we had created over decades, that we were so proud of and that had earned us an incredible reputation in this field, and I wasn't willing to negotiate that, what happened is that bit of anger fueled the passion that I had for the core values of the business and the service that we did.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:04] I combined that with a little bit of honesty around my fear, in that I didn't have an answer on what we were going to do next. I didn't have an immediate solution to the problem, but I wanted to sit in this space of, we can do this. I do believe that. And when I presented it to my team, I acknowledged that I was disappointed in the information that I had to share, but that I felt the request that was being made of us in that negotiation would not have served our company well, and it actually would have been worse for the providers themselves. It would have been worse for my team, in that they were being asked to do things that they didn't believe in, and I couldn't risk what that would be. I acknowledged that I didn't know what it was going to look like from there. I had some ideas that there were things that we might need to learn. I might have to reach out to other potential sources and stakeholders to see if we could come through this. In just setting that up and pairing with my emotion, not letting it lead, what it invited was some really amazing conversation about where we can go from here. My team shared that they were actually really grateful that I stood up for them, that I continued to show the integrity, even though that meant a significant loss in revenue, that when push came to shove, they knew that I would stick up for our values and our service model first, that that came ahead of every other decision when it came to revenue that I was making.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:35] It actually connected our team in solidarity. And as we moved forward, and I did ask them to do challenging things, we had to learn new skills, we had to reach out and do things that we were a little less comfortable with. But they were on board. And that shift we joined together. So I think this is a beautiful example of how you can partner with your emotion, even when things don't go well, even when you feel like maybe it was your fault that things didn't go well. This story is meant to just show you how this can play out in reality. Okay, so once you get the story unpacked and you acknowledge it. So at the beginning of that story, I was thinking, okay, this is my fault, and this is the demise of our company. And when I checked the facts on that story, I realized, you know what? Nope, I'm not holding on to that. It doesn't represent reality, and it's not going to serve in the direction that I want to go. So this is just a great example of how connect to your story, look for the logic, address the emotion and then create a plan to move forward. Okay.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:48] Say you're feeling really anxious or stressed, you have some bad news. You know that you're going to disappoint people. And it's just, it's really weighing heavily on you. The emotion you might feel is sadness. You might feel guilt or shame. Maybe you're taking a responsibility that you feel like this is your fault that you've gotten into this situation. So the story that you're creating is that I'm feeling this sense of guilt and I show up in a place of shame. And when I then bring my logical brain on board to say, do I know that for sure? Do I know for sure that this is my fault? When you then ask questions back to that story to say, give me the proof, give me the facts, show me this is real, quite often you'll find that, well, no, this is what's happening in the market or this is what we know about how things have changed. It invites that logical mind to come in and start to work with your emotion, and it may just shift it a little bit. Now, you might shift so that you're not showing up in the height of your frustration or your anger. You're not showing up in the height of your discomfort, your shame, your guilt, and bringing that to your team. But when you diffuse it a little bit, when you dilute it a little bit, when you question the story, you might find that your emotions lose their intensity, they lose a bit of their power, and you start to be able to express - still in emotion - but maybe your anger turns to, I'm just feeling confused as to how this happened. Maybe your shame or your guilt turns to, I feel disappointed in the news that I have to share.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:35] So what we can do is just diffuse so that the intensity of that emotion doesn't filter down into our teams and the people that we're sharing with. But what we do is we start to just buffer it a little bit so that it feels safer for now other people to also have emotion because this is how you connect. This is how your compassion shows. If you come in with an intense level of anger, automatically your people are likely going to respond by either shutting down, they go into this fear response where they just clam up, or they might go to battle with you and get really defensive and now it turns into a conflict or a really big power struggle.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:17] What you want to do is create space within the emotion that you can invite other people's emotion to come into it. We do our work ahead of time. We question. We invite our logical brains to come in and to analyze, Okay, what is the emotion I'm having? What's the story I've created with that? And then link it to, okay, what's the proof? Where's the data? Could there be another reason for this that inevitably will feed back in that loop and start to damper, buffer or question your emotions, which takes a lot of the intensity out of it and allows you to show up as an effective leader. Which also has space for the emotions of the people that you are leading, that you're sharing that information with. This is about processing emotion in leadership. It's working with the emotion in your leadership. It is not about shutting it down. That's what I want to leave you with today, is that if you are still reading books that talk about taking the emotion out of it and not dealing with it, just stick to the facts, deal with the whole cold, hard truth, know that this is not the future of leadership. For many of you who work in service-based businesses it's going to feel like you are trying to shut your emotion off in one sense, and then using it as your greatest asset and your greatest power in your front-line service, because many of you in service, your ability to empathize, your intuition, your ability to connect with other people, if you're leaning in and you can notice how people are feeling and you know when to ask the right question, emotion is an integral part of your business. It is one of your greatest assets. To turn it off when you're managing or when you're in a leadership role, it will seem ridiculous.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:12] And one step further than that, if you present that way, where you show up one way with your clients or customers, and then you show up another way with your team, you're going to feel inauthentic to your team. They're going to feel like you can't be trusted because you're a bit like a chameleon and you only show up with emotion, care, and compassion when you're with clients or customers. And when you're with your team, you show up with this lack or this armor up feeling. Your team will lose trust in you and it will hurt your business, I guarantee it. So what I want you to step forward with is know that emotion is part of it. It is part of really solid, beautiful, effective team-building, team culture. It is not about being, you know, all Pollyanna and happy all the time. It's not about rainbows and unicorns. It's not about avoiding the hard conversations and just showering people with praise. That's not it. It's about embracing the emotion, whatever it looks like, wherever it's at, linking it to a story that you have created in your own mind, and then walking with that emotion in all aspects of your business.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:34] Thanks so much for being here. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. One of how emotion is showing up in your business, what you notice, where the tricky parts are, where the sticky parts are. Reach out to me. DM me on social media. Let's have the conversation. I'd love to hear your questions on this. If we can start a conversation, maybe we come back and do a follow up episode with some questions. I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you haven't liked and subscribed to this podcast yet. Hey, why not? Make sure that you go, if you're on Apple, just go to the podcast page and click on that little check mark in the top right hand corner. If you want to share it, click on those three little dots. Scroll down and you'll see a thing that says Share Episode. This will help you to spread the news and build our community. If you're on Spotify, also so easy. Go to the podcast page, click on follow, and again, those three little dots will give you an option to share the episode. Thanks so much for being here. See you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:24:35] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

13 - Ruby Cole-Ellis: Generational Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Ruby Cole-Ellis) — Tue, 21 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000

I love to talk to female entrepreneurs who are embracing the journey. Hearing their stories is inspiring and they often share insights about entrepreneurship that may be a bit different than what we have learned in traditional leadership and business courses. So I’m thrilled today to talk with Ruby Cole-Ellis, founder of The Maby Studio and the Sylvan Lake Chamber of Commerce 2021 Businesswoman of the Year. Ruby is a powerful woman and we explore the powerful women in her family who helped shape her as we talk about generational business.

Ruby’s grandmother was an entrepreneur, a businesswoman and an investor, who raised four children alone in the 60s. I can only imagine the toughness and composure she needed to succeed in a man’s world. Her ability to pivot and always move forward informed the lessons she passed on to her family. Ruby’s mother supported and encouraged all her dreams from the start, understanding that entrepreneurial drive. Generations of women encouraging each other in their goals.

There are so many powerful lessons to take away from my conversation with Ruby. The importance of inspiring new generations. The vital aspect of the attitude with which you conduct business. But Ruby also leans into business from a female perspective. She listens to the external seasons and the natural cycles of a woman’s life to inform how she does business. How can we harness our cycles for success? How much are we listening to our own needs?

Key Moments

03:49 Learning about Ruby’s grandmother

13:56 Recognizing we are mirrors and why we should reflect calm

27:39 Ruby explaining rhythms and cycle syncing in business

Why the saying “sometimes you win, sometimes you learn” from Ruby’s grandmother is so powerful
The ability to pivot is part of success
Having it all is possible if everything is taken one step at a time, allowing for cycles

About Ruby Cole-Ellis:

J. Ruby Cole-Ellis is the Owner, Founder and Principal Designer of The Maby Studio. She has almost a decade of design and management experience in Guatemala, El Salvador and Canada.

Ruby holds a Bachelors in Architecture, a Master's in History and a Master's in Architecture & Design from the Francisco Marroquin University in Guatemala. She also possesses a Postgraduate Degree in Management from the University of Calgary and the IEDP ™ Designation (International Event Decorating Professional) by the QC Event School in New York. She recently earned Creative Professional “Mickey Ears” from the Disney Institute™.

In late 2016, Ruby was asked to decorate a friend’s wedding. Immediately after that event, she was asked by the Bride’s sister and Maid-of-Honor to help design their upcoming weddings. Seeing the Event Decor industry as an outlet for her creative mind, Ruby founded, “Maby Rentals” on June 1, 2017. The name was inspired by her wedding’s hashtag: #maby (Matt + Ruby). In 2018, the company changed its name to, “The Maby Studio,” evoking a place where design and art are created.

The Maby Studio has just celebrated its 400th Event Milestone with clients all across Central Alberta since its inception. The current Company’s Portfolio includes Weddings, Fundraisers, Baby Showers, and Anniversaries. In 2020 The Maby Studio opened its Experience Design Division which includes Corporate Events, Brand Activations and Gifting Design Services.

Contact Ruby Cole-Ellis | The Maby Studio:

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the Podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach, Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] All right. Welcome to Be the Anchor. I am so excited to introduce a dear friend and just rock star entrepreneur, Ruby Cole-Ellis. Ruby Cole-Ellis is a businesswoman, designer and business coach originally from Guatemala and has lived in Canada for the last 11 years. She is passionate about women's empowerment and teaching women how to manage that work life while business partnering with God. She had her first million-dollar evaluation with her first startup at only 25 years old. She was named businesswoman of the year by the Sylvan Lake Chamber of Commerce in 2021, and is a Proud Girl Power Alliance ambassador. She was the winner of the 2023 Spirit Award, a peer-nominated and peer-voted award for members who personify that Spirit of Girl Power Alliance. Welcome, Ruby. As you can see, what a powerful woman. And I'm just so excited to have you here today.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:02:11] Well, thanks for having me. The pleasure is totally mine.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:14] To start in entrepreneurship in your early 20s. And I mean, if you had $1 million valuation by 25, that tells me you didn't start at 25. You started young. And you and I have had some conversations around women in business generationally, and I'd love to hear more about your story and what brought you to wanting to be an entrepreneur, and just what contributed to that? Is there a personal little bit that you can share?

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:02:44] Yeah, you bet. I think I've always had that entrepreneurial bug and I always think that, you know, we're kind of a different breed. You kind of have to be able to do this. But I think from a very early age, I was very encouraged by both my parents to pursue pretty much anything that I wanted to do. I think with my dad being an economics professor, business was always something that, there was always The Economist and the Wall Street Journal at home, you know, that he would be reading and I would read too since a very little girl and then The New Yorker. At first originally it was for the cartoons, but I loved reading those magazines from a very early age, which is not very common. But then on my mother's side, her mom was a self-made millionaire and entrepreneur. She started her journey at a very young age as a single mom of four in the 60s and 70s. So I think, you know, I, from a very early age, was inspired to to do that. And I think, you know, yeah, I definitely started young, that's for sure.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:49] Tell me more about your grandmother. Did you did you get to spend time with her? What was her personality like? I mean, I can't imagine what life would have been like as a single mom of four and an entrepreneur at that time in the world.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:04:03] Yeah, and completely self-made. Like, she didn't even finish high school. And so I didn't really get to interact a lot with her. Unfortunately, she passed fairly young just when, you know, she was in her early 60s. And so I didn't really get to spend a lot of time. But what I do remember is that she was a tough cookie. And so as a little girl, I would never necessarily say, like, mom, can we visit her? Right? Because I always wanted to go to my other Nana, that was loving and, you know, the typical grandma that would have treats for us. But I do remember her being very stern and definitely to the point. And as a little girl, you know, you don't really get it. And so I didn't really want to hang out with her a lot. You know, I'm a little embarrassed to say that as now, you know, an adult. But I can understand where she came from. You had to have a tough skin back then. I mean, I can only imagine negotiating, you know, deals with businessmen in the 60s when you're on stilettos and dresses and have four little girls behind you, you kind of have to have that tough skin. And so she was a little bit, I would say, rough around the edges. She was definitely a lady. She was beautiful, always well-dressed and very graceful that way. But I would say definitely she had a tough character and she started very young. I think she originally started by trading, so she would buy and resell, buy and resell very little things, you know. And so that's the whole concept of bootstrapping, right. So I actually built The Maby Studio bootstrapping too. So I guess I copied and you know, got inspired by her. And then, you know, she grew into investing and then funds and then she would be an angel investor for other projects. So people would come to her and pitch The Godfather style.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:48] Oh my goodness, I love it. I have this vision that, like, your grandmother was like the first Shark Tank.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:05:54] And a mean one too.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:56] And I mean before her time. I can imagine you talk about the thick skin and just, she must have had a lot of faith in herself. I mean, to be able to raise four girls and to be dealing with businessmen and doing her own sales, but then also having that discernment of what are good investments. I mean, I can imagine her level of self-awareness and trust must have been substantial.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:06:22] It was. I think, the biggest thing I remember, and that is something actually I heard her say, this was not coming from stories of my mom, which she has lots, she told me, you know, sometimes you win and sometimes you learn. I don't think I've ever seen someone, she had made an investment in some farming and something happened and she lost quite a bit of money, and she was just so poised and composed. She wasn't happy, but you would think anyone else would like, you know, be extremely upset. And, you know, when my mom was like, you know, my mom was worried, like mom, like, we need to sue this person. And she's like, no, you know, sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. So, you know, she was like, well, now I know what not to invest next year. And she went on with her day. And I remember that stock like, I must have been eight years old. And I was like, holy. Like, that's pretty badass.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:21] I think of your mom being probably a little bit concerned about her mother and being taken advantage of.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:07:28] Because she was older, right? Like, this is already her being in her like, 50s, right? So, you know, my mom was seriously like, you know, your money, right? Like your retirement money or things like that. And yeah, she was just like, sometimes you lose, right? That's it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:44] What a gift. What a message. I mean, to hear that at eight years old and then have it stick.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:07:49] I still remember what she was wearing, where we were like, it really stuck to me how, you know, she was so, like I said, it's not that she was happy about it, but how she literally just took it as like, you know, that's that's the rule of the game, right? If I don't do those risky investments, you don't win as much as I win. That's what I took from it, right? It's like you don't get to win how I win unless you do that. You want to win safe, you know? And that's a whole thing that I've carried a lot now, right? Like it's, you've got to be bold if you want to win big. If you want to, you know, if you want to do slow and steady, well then don't get upset, and yeah, for sure. But if you want to win like her, you got to do it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:37] You got to play big. The other thing I hear in this is how you said, you know what? She played big. She was stern, she was strong. She had thick skin, but she was poised. And I think what I hear, you know, I talk a lot about regulation and managing your own nervous system and how, I mean I am sure that internally she was not thrilled. I'm sure that, you know, internally, her blood was probably boiling for losing that much, but she didn't give everything over to that situation. She didn't attach herself to, you know, beating herself up and really taking it, but could hold this place of staying poised in the moment and saying, Okay, like the logical part of my mind is I'm going to take this as a lesson. But that emotional social connection part, I'm not going to lose it on you. I'm not going to show you my anger and my, you know, losing it. I'm going to stay poised and I'm just going to call my next shot.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:09:36] Yeah. And for me, the other big lesson was she moved on. She didn't go and pursue and sue and, you know, went on and on and on and tried to, you know, she's just like, Okay, that's it, let's go, next. Right? And so that is, I think, pretty cool. Yeah.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:54] In your own journey as an entrepreneur, talk to me about how that lesson has shown up for you.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:10:01] I've been very adventurous from the very beginning, and I have taken a lot of risks. I've had to start from zero a few times. For me, it has always been extremely important to, quote/unquote, make it on my own. So, you know, everything that I have, I've done by myself without the help of anyone or my family. And so I think that kind of has come along and say, okay, well, you know, what would she do? Or what would, you know, what would she say? Right? I think sometimes I've had projects that have worked and projects that have not. I have had business partnerships that have worked and business partnerships that have not. And so I think that whole, you know, letting it go has been really helpful for me to keep going. I'm fairly young still. I'm only 36. And so I think, you know, people could still be stuck with something that happened ten years ago very easily. Whereas for me it's, you know, move on. And so I think that is something that I definitely have to credit to her.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:12] I feel a bit like you're being a bit humble. And so I really, I want my audience to just clearly understand the power of how this is actually showing up. Because I've seen you in action. And I remember so clearly, actually, the very first time that I saw you in action, it was at a very large event, and you were with The Maby Studio. You were helping to set the room, set the experience for all of the participants. And as someone who is in the audience, I noticed you. Now I tend to be the person that I always look for the people behind the scenes, like who is making this experience run so smoothly? And this is what stood out to me with you, is you never ran. You never looked like you were stressed. You had this appearance on your face, you had a smile on at all times. And you moved with grace but purpose. And you just danced through touching base with the organizers. Things were just coming together behind the scenes, but they were coming together smoothly. And when I noticed it, I reached out to you that day and I was like, who are you? And what is happening here? Because I feel like you are the one that is just making this happen without anyone really even noticing you're there. Now, your business, you work with brides on what can be the most stressful day of their lives. And I think emotional regulation is not something that probably a lot of your customers come with, that you really are that point of stability, and just no matter what's happening. Talk to me about that. And I feel like this is your secret sauce and I want to talk more about that.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:13:13] I think it's that thick-skinned, soft heart that we were talking about with with my grandmother. I've learned from a very early age to be very mature emotionally, that that's the easiest way to relate to all genders, all ages, all ethnicities, all cultures, is to truly be able to meet them where they're at. And you can't do that if you're not in a state of calm and just being in a state of receiving. A lot of people focus so much on the giving side, they're forgetting that, you know, the best way to actually give back is to be a soundboard, right? Most people are mirrors, and so they will give you what you they see reflected back in you. And so, you know, with brides, it's a lot of that. You know, I always joke that people in the wedding industry have a guaranteed place in heaven, which I think is true. And so when you're dealing with a stressful situation where you're the producer, like you were saying, of a big event, or you're dealing with a wedding or things like that, you know, at the end you have to be able to pivot. And I think that's, you know, when you were talking about, you know, what are the things that you could learn from your grandma. She pivots so quickly. You know, when you hear stories of how she was already on the next best thing when she was on the cusp of something big, she was already thinking of something else in case that didn't work out.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:14:48] I just love that. That is my modus operandi. Right? Okay, in case that doesn't work out, this is plan B, and if that doesn't work out, this plan C and I already have it. And so, you know, you go and you show up and, you know, the whole room flooded? Okay great. Now we do this. So I think, you know, having that open heart to be able to pivot and to be able to really to receive, right, receive anything, you know, if you're stressed out and you come to me and I'm willing to receive it and not judge you and meet you where you're at, chances are you're going to calm down. I'm not going to make you calm down, you're going to make yourself calm down by you being reflected through me, back at you. And so if that, if there's any secret sauce, is that it. It's just to be able to meet people where they're at and to be able to keep yourself poised and, you know, things are going to happen. Like you were saying, it's not like inside you're like, holy, you know, cuss words. You know, you still get stressed, you still get mad, you still get frustrated. But if you let others see it, they're going to mirror it back. And then nothing good comes out of that. So that goes with team, that goes with family, that goes with staff and clients and projects too.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:03] What a beautiful message. Like just think of yourself as being able to reflect back and that you're not absorbing, kind of the tension of the room or what's going on, but that you're really holding that space.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:16:15] It's not your responsibility.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:17] We've got this. We've got this. It's all, you know...

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:16:20] Yeah. It's not your responsibility to change that person's feelings. And, you know, you can't take it personal, right? You can't take it personal. You know that bride is not mad at you. They're going to be just fine after the wedding, right? Or that client is not stressed or frustrated at you, they're frustrated at the situation. And so it takes a lot of practice. I, you know, for sure it doesn't come easy.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:48] I wanted to circle back. You said tough skin, soft heart. Right? And when I think back to how you described your grandmother, it sounded like there was times where, although she had a tough skin and could operate in that position of being very poised, that maybe it was a little bit more challenging for her to find that soft heart. Talk to me about, how do you feel being now third generation female entrepreneur. How do you think that concept of tough skin, soft heart has changed or has it over the generations? And where where do you see it going from here?

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:17:31] Yeah, I think my grandma didn't have the luxury to be able to be feminine. She was the minority. She stood out everywhere, right? Everywhere that she went. And so I think, you know, we now, third generation, take it for granted that, you know, you can be powerful and feminine and you can be poised and graceful at the same time. Right? I think, you know, some people still feel that there is this glass ceiling that they need to break. And the only way that they can make it is if they are a b---, right? Like the movies, right? It's the only way you can make things happen, it's the only way that you can be cutthroat in Wall Street or the financial world or construction world. And I think if anything, you know, embracing that femininity, it is a super tool and a power that we get to be able to leverage on. And so I think there's a huge difference, you know, between her and me that way. You know, maybe the the core concept of being able to pivot and being able to self-regulate is there. And I think maybe it's in our DNA, but I think our approach is completely different. Like you were saying, you know, I like to smile and I genuinely smile because I mean, like, I want to smile. It's not just to, you know, out of flattery, where I barely saw her smile. And so I never want to be like that. And so I think, you know, that definitely has changed. And if anything, if it hasn't, then I want to be that example that it can change.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:10] Oh, so good. Tailing on to that, so I know, I mean, you... Actually, I don't know, I'm guessing that you don't build businesses of your size all by yourself. You referred to having a team and clients and business partners. And over time, I'm guessing that teaching this skill of regulation and being the calm in the storm - couple of weeks ago, we had an episode talking about conflict, and one of the things that I said is just because you have conflict in your business, just because you're dealing with customers or team members who are upset, does not mean you're doing anything wrong. And I think in your industry, like you said, with brides, it's just, it's a challenging time. And you trust, with your experience, and I know that we get through this, and I know we do a great job., I know you're going to love me afterwards. How do you teach that to your employees? How have you passed on that messaging?

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:20:15] It's funny because like when we do our kickoff every season, we've had girls who have come a few times. It's a fun summer job. So we have a lot of very young staff too, that it's a cool summer job. It's the first thing that we talk about, right? And I say, you know, like, smile. You know, anything that we do is a ticking bomb, right? Like our presence, our poise, our text, you know, our posture, how we do things, how you use your hands, how we pack things, everything is part of the experience. Right? And so literally, you know, from the moment they come, they are ready to fight. And so you can be the difference between them having a moment to breathe or not, or even when they come back, right, sometimes it's the family members who return things on their behalf. They're tired, they're stressed or hung over, and so I say, like, the first thing you do, you know, what do you do? How did it go? Do you have any pictures? We haven't even talked about all the paperwork and this and the balances and, you know, the incidentals.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:21:22] Like, we let them calm down and you have a big smile and, you know, you go through their gallery and sometimes they're there at the garage door for 30 minutes. Right? But I want to explain it to them that their actions truly can change everything. And so it is the best experience sometimes, you know, when I am maybe in my desk and I kind of overhear what's going on, right? They take care of it, you know, I don't have to be there. And you see, maybe like the team leads, right? You forgot to smile, right? To tell, you know, telling the other girl or like, you know, next time, you know, maybe like, talk a little slower and calmer, because if you talk fast, they talk fast, right? And I'm not even teaching them that. They are taking it on their own. That truly, how we do like you know, I teach them how we we don't run. We don't run at the day of the event, we might be late, but we literally just like glide. We glide fast, we glide.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:22] I'm taking that, we glide fast.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:22:27] Because you can't run, if you run, then you know it literally, you just set this almost like butterfly effect of something is wrong. Right? And sometimes you get there and vendors have messed up and things that are out of our control. But we are that, like, regulation of, Ooooh the Maby team is here. And so, you know, I think a lot of it is by example, a lot of it is explaining it to them even after an experience saying like, you know, next time try this. And if they do and they see it worked, you know, they're going to do it again, you don't even need to mention it to them again. But you are right, it is part of a corporate culture. I'm extremely proud of that, especially because, you know, some of these girls, this is their first job, right? So then they call, you know, after they've graduated and, you know, we're a reference or something for their next job. And you bump into them and they're like, it's not the same. Wherever they're working now or whatnot. And that's the best compliment that I can get, right? Or being like, you know, you teach us this and they don't even talk about that at Boston Pizza.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:37] But I want to pause there, and I really, I want to let this sink in for the listeners, because you're right, I don't think a lot of businesses are talking about this. I think a lot of businesses are relying on task lists and job descriptions and roles and responsibilities. And when we talk about soft skills, it almost gets this like, oh, just toss that in the backseat. That if you're nice and you smile, then people will like you. And I think you've chosen an industry that this is a critical piece of. But I want my listeners to hear that this is a part of every service business that exists. And even product-based businesses projects. Yeah, like, this is not a soft skill. This is not a back seat. This is how you lead your company. This is how you lead strong teams. And this element of being able to be that mirror for your clients, it's everything. And when you, when you're talking about, you know, being the first job for some of these young ladies and how they come back, you referred to the butterfly effect, and I hear this - it's giving me goosebumps, honestly - because what I'm feeling in this is what your grandmother was to you in one way, think of the impact that you're having on this next generation of young women who are going, hey, wait, like, what could I do? What business could I have? And how can I use all of who I am and how I show up, and how fast I talk, and how I connect with people, and how I can solve problems that maybe are not my own, right, if it's a vendor issue or something with the location. I mean, there's so many different things that can happen. You don't need to own it, but you can absolutely create such a change in the way that experience happens. And I just think what a profound gift that you're giving to those next generations.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:25:40] Yeah. No, thanks. You know, as I said, that's the biggest compliment we can have, right? We have girls that have been with us for four summers and then literally, you know, moved to Japan and can't work with us after that. But, you know, they're like, if I could, I would stay here forever. That's the best compliment that we can get. And so if they can do that and transfer it, then to their other things or, like, their own mothers, their own mothers will tell me, you know, like what a transformation from, you know, the beginning of the summer to that. That's the best compliment that I can get for sure. For sure.

Kari Lotzien: [00:26:13] Oh, what a gift. I'm going to pivot a little bit, because a few years back, you and I had a networking meeting, and at the time I had - and I honestly, I thought I was the only one who did it - I was tracking my own rhythms, and I was very in tune with when I took on new projects seasonally, I really noticed the effect that I had of when my highest levels of productivity were, when I just wanted to be free and not have any responsibilities, and you and I had an in-depth conversation about using rhythms in your business. And I think that in a lot of leadership books, a lot of the trainings that we hear that are, let's be honest, written by men, we hear a lot about consistency. That you have to slay the day, and that it needs to look the same every day, and that when you can show up consistently, that is the path to success. And I think that introducing the idea of rhythms feels so much easier. Talk to me about how you use rhythms in your business. I mean, obviously, the wedding industry has a rhythm to it, especially when we live in a country like Canada where our winters are very cold. Talk to me about all of that, personally, business-wise.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:27:39] I was very curious about rhythms or cycle syncing, especially when I moved to Canada. I realized that, it really hit me, the whole, you know, seasonal depression and, you know, the winter thing and the winter blues and things like that. And I realized, you know, okay, I'm clearly not very productive. You're right, a lot of gurus that you hear about productivity and process management talk about this linear productivity. And so you have like the whole year flat. And then, you know, you pretty much start and then end and reset. And it's all very linear and it's very about processes and things like that. But the truth is that as women we don't operate like that. We are definitely cyclical, not only with our hormones and menstrual cycles, but, you know, cyclical in terms of, you know, even when we are pregnant, right? There are cycles through that as well. Then with us, you know, we go through menstruation and then menopause like we literally truly are in tune with the seasons. Right? And in Guatemala, we don't really have the four seasons as marked, we pretty much have two seasons a year, I would say. And so I hadn't really experienced what completely having different cycles through the year. And so I started looking into that, and I realized that our cycle in a month is pretty much like the seasons in a year. And so there are points where, you know, there's the whole, you know, you reap and you know, you sow, right? And so you start literally doing all the prep work.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:29:22] And then there's times to hustle and go and harvest time. And then there's times to set and, you know, rest and then there's times to reset. And so what I realized is that you can use that to your advantage. Like I was saying, I truly decided to embrace my femininity. And instead of fighting the whole idea that every day needs to be the same, you know, kind of playing it by ear. I started researching about pitching. And so I have done quite a bit of pitching competition, especially in the early 20s, I did a lot of crowdfunding and also angel investing. And so, you know, you have to pitch and so, you know, even picking what day of the month to do that, you know, there's days that you can like go into a room and everybody's going to turn and look and see who's that. And then there's, you know, you're bigger than life. And so those are the days that you want to probably do sales. And so I started incorporating that to my daily routine. I use it now for client consultations. I'll make sure that on my ovulation days when I see clients and when, you know, this is the time to enamorate them and, you know, present and to be able to be creative and, you know, hopefully for them to see a proposal and then make a choice and hire you. And so I bundle them once a month. I don't do them very often. I usually do consultations once a month.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:30:52] And I make sure that I pick that it's a good time. And it has worked for me. And so any woman has their own cycles. We're not all in sync. And so when it comes to teams, you know, it's important to recognize that, you know, especially if you have a lot of women in your team, everybody's going to be at different cycles. And so, you know, to embrace that they might not be in tune with yours, which is a very male thing to do. Right? It's very like this is where we all, like because Ruby is in go time means we're all go time. I think recognizing that that might not be their season has been really helpful as well. Just being, once again, just being able to receive information, ask, right, are you okay? You know, and being comfortable, right? Are you on your period, like are you feeling okay? Do you want to go home? Do you want to work from home today? Should we reschedule this for tomorrow? Right? All those things are little things that add up and that can significantly improve, you know, working the whole concept of working smarter, not harder. And so when you and I talked about it, I think if we can embrace it instead of resisting it, especially as self-employed. And get rid of this expectation that we're supposed to be go, go, go, and the hustle and grind and all these things, you know, we're able to incorporate things like that and be more in tune with what works for us.

Kari Lotzien: [00:32:20] What I want to just layer on to that is, like you said, I mean, we have the benefit of being self-employed and I can hear, you know, from my listeners, you may not be in an industry where this works for you, whereas it's as easy to work with those rhythms. And please know we do understand that. And what I want to highlight as well is that if you are in a position of leadership and maybe you're just starting to get more comfortable in this concept that, hey, wait, everyone here is working in rhythms and we have a very female dominated team and therefore, you know, it's not likely that we're all in the same place. I think in the past we've, you know, when we talk about generations, when I was in my early 20s, it was, we talked about PMS, that that was the time that you were hard to get along with. And, you know, sales wouldn't go well. But we never really talked about how that time is also really good. So if you need someone to be discerning, to really kind of look at the details of a situation and go, I don't know that this is going to work or to poke holes in it and to do that safely and still with respect. But if you have someone who's in drive mode, who's super creative and is going, and then you have someone on the same team who can sit in that discernment space, and then when you go into this kind of like rest, reflection, okay, what do we do next, how do we come up with a plan? To be able to follow that, it is remarkable what that can do in business. And like you said, instead of hustling through it, trying to just hustle, drive, push through when it's not working, this can be, I think, such an incredible strength to businesses.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:34:08] Yeah. And even if you're in a position that you're an employee, you can use this too. Right? And like as I said, like my team, they're employees of mine. So, you know, you can use this in terms of having grace for yourself of maybe, you know, going to bed earlier, maybe, you know, pushing things or not filling up your cup after work, maybe of what you're eating or not eating, maybe just telling people how you feel. You know, I have cramps, I don't feel great right now. Right? Like you can use all these things as well to your advantage and also to give yourself grace. So, for example, if you're in commission sales, right, you know, you can start planning your whole month and saying, okay, well, this is the time I call and set appointments, right? I don't feel that great. And so, you know, I organize, I follow up on paperwork, invoicing all the things. And so I make sure that the week that I, you know, I feel the best, that's when I go. And I don't worry about paperwork and I don't worry about catching up. It's go time, it's networking, it's meeting people, being that social butterfly, doing the presentations, doing the sales, following up. And then you go back into a cycle. Right? And so you can still use that regardless of the industry you're into.

Kari Lotzien: [00:35:24] One of the things I've noticed, so being a little past 36 myself, now, I think what we have in common is I also started my entrepreneurial journey in my early 20s, so I knew what that felt like. And when you're in your 20s, you have all kinds of energy. And I remember, you know, to blast out a 14, 16 hour day, it didn't feel hard, right? I had all of this abundance of energy. And I think there's also some seasons when we look at our own age and what the other things that kind of ride along with it, when I had kids. My energy level and when I did certain types of work changed, even during the daytime. Right? So I adjusted my schedule a little bit so that I could be there for my kids and I could run them to appointments, and then I would sometimes come back to work and do more of that paperwork and or admin in the evenings. And I'll tell you that when I hit my 40s, and my kids are now moved out, I had this assumption on myself that I thought, okay, well, I'm going to I'll go back to those long days and I'll have all this extra time in the evenings and now I'm not having to worry about feeding a whole family for meals.

Kari Lotzien: [00:36:39] And I'm tired. I don't have the same level of energy that I did before. And when you talk about working smarter and not harder, I think some of that also comes with recognizing just the stage of life that you're in and that hustle and go that is often associated with entrepreneurship, it's not a good long-term plan to assume that the energy you had for your startup when you're 20 is going to be the same 20 years later, and we need to start thinking about succession planning and having good systems so that we're not carrying as much of that hustle weight in the business and in the home life. And now I know you're you're at a different stage. So when you think about kind of what's next for you, in terms of, I know that you're multi-passionate, I know you've got so many kind of wonderful ideas and how you're moving through. Any exciting things coming up for you?

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:37:35] Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm pregnant with twins.

Kari Lotzien: [00:37:39] Oh my goodness.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:37:41] So, you know, that's coming up. So they should come sometime in spring. So I think a lot of right now has been to restructure where my energy is going to be at. And so being able to see from a perspective of leadership like, you know, if I need to hire or team members that I need to be able to take care of, certain things that I'm involved with, but also on my own personal side, where I want to spend my time and energy moving forward. I think I'm more intentional about projects that are going to fill my cup and, you know, try to be a little bit more selfish on that end. I know they're going to, there's going to be a lot of me giving, right, with newborns and things like that. So I want to make sure that I have things that are going to be exciting for me, that are going to fill my cup. So right now, for the next three months, there's a lot of planning and restructuring and delegating and it's all exciting. But definitely next year is going to look very different.

Kari Lotzien: [00:38:42] A huge congratulations. And of course, I mean, my listeners know, Ruby and I did talk about this ahead of time, I didn't bounce that on her like the Jerry Springer Show or something. But I think what I wanted to highlight is I feel like there are a lot of entrepreneurs and female entrepreneurs that think that it's one or the other, that we're either able to be there for our families and that we give to them, or we're these strong, especially corporate type business women, like you are building seven figure businesses. You've got multi different things going on. This isn't a side hustle for you. And what I loved hearing is that you are not having this perception in your own mind that says, oh, I'm just going to do it all. I can still run my business exactly the way that I always have, and I'm going to be nurturing these two newborns in my home. That you're really planning strategically for that to say, okay, what projects do I want to take on? How do I want to move into this next space and phase, giving myself grace while not just letting it all go, shutting down my team and saying, okay, we're just going to be on hiatus for a while. But your plan is that that business is still going to operate and operate beautifully while you're in a place where your personal tasks are going to look a little different or a lot different. And I just, I wanted to give space to that, that you can run multi-seven figure businesses and have time with your family. It's through delegation. It's through having a strategic plan for that.

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:40:30] That's right. And just recognizing it's a season, right? We go back to cycles. This is a different cycle for me. And I've always worked in that mindset. And so, yes, my off-season right now is happening with the [00:40:45] Maby studio. [00:40:45] And so usually this time I do a lot more coaching and a lot more planning that way. Or, you know, I work more on my architectural projects or my properties that, you know, that we're working on. But, you know, for now, I just have another season, right? And so next year, some of them are going to have to get pushed and shuffled. This one might be a little longer, right? I'm hoping to enjoy maternity leave. I'm actually taking an extended maternity leave, so I'm starting in January so I can really enjoy it. And so, you know, you just, you just have to give yourself grace that, you know, you can do everything, just not all at once.

Kari Lotzien: [00:41:24] Oh, I love it. I want to kind of move towards wrapping it up. I love how we've moved through this conversation, starting talking about your grandmother and just what a power of strength she was, and how we've talked about your mom and how that, you know, she was just so encouraging and supporting of you. And now you coming forward with your own beautiful children to bring into the world. If you were going to talk about giving back to that next generation of entrepreneurs, when you talk about the advice you got from your grandmother, right, you win or you learn, what advice would you have for that next generation?

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:42:13] It's one of my favorite quotes. I tell it to my clients, I tell it to my family, I tell it to my husband, I tell it to everyone. It's kind of a joke, but, you know, Kari, how do you catch ten bunnies? What's the fastest way to catch ten bunnies? One at a time. That's how the fastest way, you just focus on one, you have it in the cage and then you go to the next. And so I think that would be my advice. You know, kind of this, you know, let go of the fact that we can't have it all. We can. Right? I think, like you were saying, I think we're bombarded with making choices and decisions and labels and stereotypes. We can have it all. It's just we got to focus on one thing at a time, right? And then, you know, you get that it's in the cage, it's the bunny, you're going to nurture it and love it. But now you go on to the next and catch the next one. And that's how you do business. That's how you do projects. That's how you do life. I think that's how you create wealth, friendships, and relationships, is just one at a time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:43:13] Beautiful advice. Thank you. In closing, I love to ask all of my guests, how do you stay anchored?

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:43:24] It has to do, for me, with releasing expectations. You know, I think we are our hardest critics. We are, you know, we put ourselves in the highest bars that our clients don't, our team doesn't, our family doesn't. However, you know, we give grace to everybody except ourselves. And so for me, it's just catching myself trying to avoid an emotion, you just make it bigger. So, you know, Okay, clearly this is frustrating me, clearly, this is making me stressed out. Where is it coming from, right? Do I really need to answer right now? Or is the client really going to notice? Or did my husband really ask for that? Or, I think that's like what a good wife is supposed to do, right? I think just catching myself and then you're just like, okay, that was a waste of 20 minutes or a day or a week and, you know, and just releasing it. And so I think just managing my own expectations is the fastest way to just identify what it is that's going on and just moving on.

Kari Lotzien: [00:44:26] Thank you so much for being here and sharing your beautiful wisdom through the generations, and just all the things that you bring to your teams, to your colleagues, to your business partners. You are truly just such a gift to the world. And I thank you so much for being here. I want to make sure that people know where to find you. Where is the best place that you hang out where people can follow along?

Ruby Cole-Ellis: [00:44:54] You bet. You can follow me on all major social media platforms @RubyColeEllis, all together, that's where you can find my adventures. And again, I think the same of you, Kari. I appreciate the time and thanks for the opportunity.

Kari Lotzien: [00:45:08] You're very welcome. And all of Ruby's contacts will be in the show notes as well. You can go and find them there. And I just want to remind everyone, if you have not liked and subscribed yet to the podcast, please make sure that you are doing that so that you don't miss an episode. We want to make sure that we're building this community together. I want to bring you more incredible people like Ruby, who are just building amazing businesses, but also building community. That's what this is about for me. That's what I want this podcast to be about. So be sure to like, share, subscribe to the podcast and we'll see you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:45:49] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

12 - Is Rest Overrated?

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 14 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000

I read a study about small business owners that included the statistic that only 1 in 5 small business owners take a regular break from work when needed and that taking time off work didn’t guarantee being rested. How can that be? Today I’m diving into the topic of rest for solopreneurs and small business owners to explore what rest truly means and what type is best for our mental health.

Taking the coveted long vacation away from work does not prove restful in many cases. Often we find ourselves working more ahead of the vacation so work doesn’t pile up and then scrambling to get back on top when we return. The stress doesn’t leave. We don’t truly rest. So, then, what do we do in lieu of big vacation breaks?

I want to talk about three key things: business friendships, integrating rest into day-to-day work, and setting the necessary time aside to teach when delegating. In exploring these three ideas - and note I did not include taking time off as a key rest point - I have found ways to incorporate rest and increase well-being. That’s what I want to share with you today: redefining how we approach rest so that it truly becomes restful.

Key Moments

01:19 The study on well-being in small business

10:39 The importance of business friendships

14:05 What it looks like to integrate rest into your daily routine

Rest means stepping completely away from the phone, emails, and team issues
Half of small business owners struggle with mental health, poor sleep, and financial worries
The notion of active recovery can be a key component of daily rest

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor the Podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. I want to tell you today about a couple of studies that I came across this week. The first one is from a company called Xero, and they surveyed 4600 small business owners over seven countries, and they looked at the well-being of small business owners and different factors that were related to the sense of well-being. Now, there were some things that didn't really surprise me, such as 45% of small business owners feel stress from work invading their personal lives more than half of the time. Not a great statistic, but also not particularly surprising. They also reported that managing employee mental health reduced the business owner's well-being in 44% of cases. That supporting their employees and their team members with mental health was a challenge of the small business owner, and a lot felt they didn't have the resources or know how to best support their team members. Here was a statistic that took a bit of a twist for me. Not surprising, only 1 in 5 small business owners take a regular break from work when they need to. And they talked about just that relentless pace of a small business owner always working. And even when they were taking time off, they were also still having the challenge of being available to their business.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:52] Here was the part that I found really interesting. The ability to take time off work when needed didn't guarantee restedness. In fact, far from it. What they revealed is that in some countries, South Africa and Singapore, business owners in those countries felt rested and refreshed despite being able to take a step back from their work. Whereas in the US and Australia, what they found is even when owners were able to take regular breaks from work they didn't feel rested. Now, when I read studies like this, I always ask myself why? What's the story behind the data? And I don't know exactly what the reasons are for small business owners showing the data in this way. But when I started to think about it in my own business and what that looked like for me, I started to get curious because I think so often we are told we need to delegate, that we need to hire out, that by having team members that it'll allow us to take a break from our business and just get away. And I think there's a myth that when we get a break we'll find this sense of rejuvenation and reset. When I thought about my own business, I thought, you know, I kind of do understand this because often when I would take a break, I would take a vacation, I would try to prepare ahead of time, working intensely for the weeks ahead of the vacation to try and prepare so that there wasn't as much of a glitch when I wasn't there. I was trying to manage all of the potential things that could go wrong, or get ahead of some of the the tasks that needed to be done during that week. And on the flip side, often when I would come back from holidays, I would spend a few days sometimes catching up on all of the things that were going on in the business while I was away. And that added to the fact that rarely did I truly step completely away from the business during my holidays, I was still checking emails at least once a day. I was still responding to client issues or team issues when I wasn't there. Sometimes more than others, depending on what was happening on the front lines.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:31] And I think this idea of kind of being one foot in a holiday and one foot out of a holiday, it doesn't give our nervous system that sense to exhale, drop our shoulders, relax, and just be truly away from the business. Now what about the other side of it? So the people that aren't taking true time away when they need it, but are still finding this feeling of being well rested? How is that working? What I wonder is in those situations are people focusing on integrating rest into their day to day activities? Are they better at not having the ebb and flow of being so busy and then trying to take a break completely away for a few days or maybe a few weeks, but have they found the ability to take small breaks within the ebb and flow of the daily tasks in the business? I'm just curious, and it's something that I think is worth looking at as business owners, because the truth is, we want to be in this game long term. We don't want to be short bursts of energy and then have our business completely decline when we need to step away. And I'm going to be really honest with you, I think we often hope and kind of have this silent prayer that we never get sick, that we never have to completely step away for things like surgery or something catastrophic happening. In reality, this isn't the case. You're human. I'm human. And there is going to be times in your life where you need to step away from your business, whether it's family priorities, your own health, maybe something comes up that just really needs your focus and attention and you will not be able to do both at the same time. We have to set ourselves up to be able to truly step away from our business if needed.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:51] I want to also address that I think there are times where small business owners are feeling that stress, or they're feeling the, I'm not going to call it burnout, but we are singed. We're fizzling. And many high performers can exist in this state of being in mild burnout for a very long time. And I think we ignore the symptoms in our own bodies around lack of sleep, having challenges with our eating or digestion. That maybe we find our nervous system has a hard time when we do take a break from our business, that we're not able to relax, that we stay in this high, intense, energetic position because it's like our bodies forget how to relax. And how to just shut off. A study out of the National Health Service in England talked about over half of small business owners have experienced poor mental health in the last 12 months. Reporting things like I was talking to you about struggles with sleep. Many surviving on less than five hours of sleep a night. They talked about business owners not being able to take leave again. They talked about financial worries, feeling that pressure of the cost of living increasing and food prices, that the financial worries and I think the stress of your employees, your team members just making ends meet, takes a toll.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:38] The thing I want to talk about is, okay, what do we do then? How, if we're not going to take these long breaks away from our business, because potentially that's not going to give us the sense of reset and relaxation that we need to fill our energy buckets back up so that we can come back into our business and carry on. Then what is it? What are other ways that we can take this sense of survival of ebbs and flows in our business so that we can sustain this long term. What might that look like? The first thing I want to acknowledge is I'm not going to talk about taking time off. I'm not going to talk about delegation as a one end all, be all, solution. I'm going to talk about different things. I'm going to talk about friendships. Do you have a group? Do you have a network of business friendships? Now, the reason I'm calling it a business friendship is because this isn't marketing. It's not networking in its surface level sense, where we are merely sharing our service and products, and we're looking for opportunities to collaborate. We're looking for affiliate partners or referral partners. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is, do you have people in your world that know how you feel, that know the pressures of running and operating a small business? Who can sit with you during those times of stress? Who might be able to share ideas or suggestions if you'd like, but they're able to be that sounding board for you, they know how you feel, and they're able to join. They're able to truly be a friend in those moments.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:42] I think often small business owners, especially if we are solopreneurs earlier in business, when we network with other business owners, we tend to armor up and we talk about being grateful, but things are busy. But it is really good, right? We almost have this sense where we protect our truth that maybe things aren't that good. Maybe you're having a hard time making payroll this month. Maybe you launched a product or a service that did not receive well from your customers or clients. Maybe you've got a parent that is struggling with their health and you really want to be there for them, but you're feeling just such pull between your personal life and your business. Business friendships, where you have this space where you can just drop the armor, where you can take off the mask, and you can have those connections that are vulnerable and truthful with people who get it can offer a huge lifeline during these times. And what I know is that when you open up a little bit in those situations, what you'll often find is that people that you thought had it all together and looked really good from the outside, they're going through stuff too. We're all struggling to just make our way through it, and sometimes when we can show a little bit of vulnerability, it opens the door for other people to do the same thing. I think we have heard about vulnerability in leadership with our teams and with kind of being able to open up what's going on with us. What I'm talking about is a little bit different than that. It's not about opening up within your own team, which you can do, but there's also a limitation there, because the people on your team are not the ones who are captaining the ship. They're not at the helm. They're not the ones that are necessarily navigating this with you. Their experience is a little bit different. And by having other business owners to join with you in this, they understand the nitty gritty of what you're feeling.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:05] The second thing I want to address is integrating rest into your day to day work and what that looks like. When you look at your day, when you look at what takes time in your day, ask yourself, Where do I rest? Where do I have white space? If your day is filled with task after task after task and just going through this never ending to do list, your mind and your body are experiencing a stress state all of the time. You're always in this place where your body is being flooded with chemicals that say you have to keep going. You can't rest. These things must be done. And there's a pressure of what the consequences will be if that doesn't happen. What I know for sure is that when we are up against challenges, when we are facing stressful situations, if your mind and body are in that state, it is almost impossible to come up with the best solution. What can inevitably happen is we get hyper focused on the problem, and it can be difficult to see the different opportunities that might be available or the different solutions to a problem, because our minds are almost cramped up. It's like when your muscle gets tight, there's no space for movement because it's cramped and it's stationary. Your mind is the same. It needs rest, or what I would call active recovery, which means you might be going for a walk. Or taking a longer lunch break. So it's not necessarily that you're just completely shutting down watching Netflix and zoning out for hours on end or scrolling social media. It's not that you're sleeping and completely shutting down. But this idea of active recovery can come with gentle stretching, yoga, going for a walk, taking your dog outside. When we pair space and movement, it can help relax our mind at the same time. And you can do this in a 5 or 10 minute walk a few times a week. It doesn't have to be these big, extravagant getaways where you need to book hotels and spend a lot of money and go to a beach somewhere, although that is really nice too. But when you can integrate the rest into your workday, this allows you to sustain long term.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:47] In previous episodes, I talked about my challenge, my issue with challenge culture, that idea that we need to be pushing and hustling and going harder and doing one more and just that hustle and grind and that that is the only way to get ahead. That does not work with your nervous system. Your nervous system needs to rest. Business ownership is a long term plan. There may be times where you're going to really narrow it in, and you are going to hyper focus, or you might have less rests because you've got a big project to knock out, but you still want to be introducing small rests into your day, especially if you're doing a big project. I actually listened to an influencer this morning who did a multi-million dollar project, and she was talking about how in a two week period, the focus and attention and what her team was doing was taking, you know, often 12 to 14 hour days. But she said my non-negotiable during that time was I made sure that I had a rest. So sometimes I napped for 20 or 30 minutes mid-day. Sometimes I just shut everything down and went and closed my eyes and laid down for 20 minutes. And she said, I know that without that rest, I would not have been able to do the level of work that we did in that short period of time. So introduce that. Is it going to a workout class? Is it going to a spin class? Is it going for a walk? Going to enjoy your kids hockey game. Whatever it is, how can you integrate rest into your day? How can you truly step away, shut off those distractions. So in these short bursts, you also don't want to be available. It's only a half an hour. But this is a time where you're shutting off your phone, you're shutting down your email, you're truly not available. You're giving your mind that idea that I am protecting this space and time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:59] And lastly, I do want to touch on the idea of delegation, because I think there is a myth that is buried here that is hurting us. I think we have an idea, especially moving from solopreneurs into building our teams, that there is more hustle and grind required as a solopreneur than there is as we build our team. And in my experience, it's not true. When I was new in my company and I was doing all of the marketing, all of the bookkeeping, I was providing the front line service, I dealt with every customer that came in, every client who got service received it from me. I answered the phones. I returned all the emails. But I had found a rhythm in that where I knew what had to be done, and I just needed to set aside time to do it. Sometimes that was late at night after my kids had gone to bed. There was times where I would provide the service all day, I would take a break, have dinner with my family, and then come back and do some of my admin tasks at night. There were a lot of times where I would spend a few hours on the weekend. But I did have mostly a flow and a rhythm. The times that it didn't work were when I wanted to look at growing my business, and I needed to look at how was I going to be able to dedicate more time to revenue generating activities in my business? And my first move was that I started to delegate the admin tasks. What I didn't realize, and I think what a lot of my clients don't realize, is how much time it takes to delegate well. You need to have time and space longer than what it takes you to do the task yourself to teach it to someone else and to teach it well. This is where we can get caught up, because when it takes us longer to train someone than it does to just do it ourselves, do you see how we just slide right back into doing it ourselves? Because we're more efficient and we know what needs to be done, and if it's costing us money to train someone, we can convince ourselves that this is not a good investment long term.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:16] I use the word investment because when you do take the time and you have space in your schedule to say, I am going to invest this amount of time, more than it would take to do it myself, to teach someone else well, all of the moving parts of this particular role or responsibility, then we slowly shift that balance between doing it all ourselves to someone else, not only completing the task, but taking the responsibility for doing it well. They take over managing any timelines, any challenges that come up. They're the ones that can see the big picture and how it connects. This is the part that truly takes the time off of your schedule and puts it onto someone else's. But it's an investment. And I want to make sure, especially as you start to delegate, that we do it in a really strategic way so that you're not trying to train three new team members and you're finding that same experience where now it's taking you twice as long to do the tasks that you were able to do on the weekend or in the evenings especially, because these people may not be available during those times when you are typically doing that task. When we look at your wellbeing and we look at making that investment long term, what I just want to make sure of is that you are setting yourself up for success.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:44] So let's come back. Is rest overrated? No. We do need time and space to be creative, to move our businesses forward, and to create the life that we really crave, to do the things that matter to us, but we need to move out of that idea of it's all work or all rest, and taking large vacations or time away from our business that many of us don't get. Number one, find yourself a network of business friendships, people who understand what you're going through, where you can be vulnerable, and you can share some of the stressors and the experiences that you're having, as well as the joys with people who truly understand. Number two, integrate rest into your day to day world, whether that is short walks, having little bits and pieces where you can join a gym. If it's spending time with your dog, or just stepping outside to enjoy a little bit of nature. Doesn't have to be big, big things, but having time and space dedicated to just slowing down every day is critical. And number three, when you move towards delegating, recognize that there's a bit of a slingshot effect where it is going to take you more time, more energy, more focus as you shift to delegation. It will be more work to start delegating than it was to just do it yourself. Recognize that, plan for it, have a strategic plan in how you're going to implement that shift in responsibility or task. I believe these are three major things that will help to get your wellbeing in a place that feels more solid.

Kari Lotzien: [00:24:39] Thank you so much for being here. I wish you all the very best in integrating rest into your business so that you can truly launch and do the amazing things that you were put here to do. Stay awesome. I will see you next week. And hey, if you haven't liked and subscribed to this podcast yet, go click on the link. Do it. And even better, if you know someone who's being stretched and their mental health feels like maybe they're fizzling, they're starting to burn out, share this episode with them. These are easy ways that we can connect, and that we can help support the people who have chosen entrepreneurship as their journey and to just build together. Thanks so much for being here.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:32] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

11 - Becoming an Anchored Leader

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 7 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000

Today I’m talking to you about becoming an anchored leader. Before you decide to skip this episode because you think it doesn’t apply to you - you’re not a boss or a CEO, you’re not in a senior management position - know that I’m actually directly talking to you. Anchored leadership is not about having a title. It’s the ability to lead from wherever you are in whatever situation you find yourself in.

I have three example stories about how anchored leadership works and what it looks like in everyday life. These are not stories from Fortune 500 companies or about high-level executives, these are stories taken from everyday life situations. Anchored leadership is about finding a connection with other people, finding that true positive community, and bridging the reality of the situation with what you want the experience to become. That’s what my stories demonstrate. Anyone can be an anchored leader.

I’ll answer your questions about how to approach that connected leadership mindset. What if you’re not naturally an empathic person who acts with a high EQ? Anchored leadership is a skill and anyone can learn it. This is a critical skill we’re not taught in school or in our training, but it’s one that will serve us in every area of our career and life.

Key Moments

02:53 Differentiating anchored leadership from negative manipulation

10:58 Anchored leadership from a civilian in a car accident situation

20:23 Anchored leadership isn’t about titles and a 15-year-old hockey player proves it

It’s important to understand your own feelings in a situation so you can assess those around you.
What tone and feeling do you want everyone to share in the situation at hand?
Find a support group to help with unpacking and learning communication skills.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Anchored Leadership Academy
Remember, podcast listeners can get into Anchored Leadership Academy on an early bird rate for the first 20 people to register. 40% off with coupon code ANCHOREDVIP40 at check out.

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach, Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends, I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk about anchored leadership. Now, if the first thought that comes to mind is, I don't think this episode applies to me, I'm not in management, I'm not a boss or a CEO, I am not in a senior level position, I am talking to you. Being an anchored leader is not about having a title. It is not about being the boss, the CEO, the coach, or the person in the most senior-level position. Anchored leadership is also not about having a specific set of education or skills in management or leadership. Anchored leadership is the ability to lead from wherever you are, and I want to highlight that if you are in an entry-level position in your company, if you're in your early 20s just starting out, or you're in a company that maybe you've been there for a while, but you're not in management, you're not in a position of being responsible for others or a team, this episode is still for you. What anchored leadership is, is simply the ability to recognize that your actions, your behavior, the way that you connect with other people has an impact on the way that they feel and the way that they act. And as an anchored leader, we are using this skill of reading other people, assessing ourselves, knowing how we show up, knowing our subtle cues, and using them intentionally for good.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:53] Okay, I want to address one key point, because you might be thinking right now that you have dealt with people who are aware of the impact they have on others, and they use things like threatening, manipulation, anger, frustration to influence others. I think we have all had a boss or a leader or a coach that makes you feel less than. Anchored leadership is about doing this in a place that leads us forward, and it does it from a place of connection and security and stability. The underlying theme to anchored leadership is the assumption that people are good. That we want to be in community, that we believe that there is something good that can come out of our interactions with each other. If you are using things like threatening, shame, anger or tension to influence how people perform, and they do it based out of fear that they'll lose their job, fear of embarrassment, fear of being ashamed, that is not anchored leadership. I want to be really clear that we define the difference, anchored leadership is based from the feeling of connection that we are in this together, and it is from a place of safety, stability and connection, not a place of threatening, loss or fear.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:31] Anchored leaders are incredible in every role in your company. If you are on a volunteer board, and whether you've been there for a long time or you've just started, using these skills will have an impact. If you are a server or in any sort of customer service position, anchored leadership will change the way that you experience the amount of joy that you feel in your position, and the amount of influence that you recognize that you have in creating your own experience. Now, this is not about persuasion or manipulation. It's not about coercing. This is about connection. It's about feeling this sense of true community and connection with other people. It's a combination of recognizing and empathizing with others, whether that be your client, your team, your kids, and recognizing what you want, what you want the experience to be, what you want the story to be, and then being able to create a bridge between those two with intentionality. Let me give you an example of what this would look like. Now, every example that I'm going to share with you today is not going to be of people who are Fortune 500 company owners. It's not about people who are building seven and eight-figure businesses. It's not from people who hold titles of leadership. And I did that intentionally because I really want you to connect with this idea no matter where you're at.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:16] An experience I think a lot of us have. Being in a restaurant and being really irritated with the service. So maybe your food is taking an exceptionally long time to come out and things just aren't coming together like you hoped they would. Maybe your meal was cold. Maybe you didn't get the seat or the table that you wanted. Okay, so whatever it is, you're in a restaurant and you're just feeling that experience. But have you had the opportunity to experience an anchored leader who's in a serving position? Now, what does this look like? It's that person who can create a story, who comes to you, acknowledges I am so sorry your food is running late, my gosh, what can I do for you? And they might do things like strike up a conversation about how your day is going, and maybe they take up 3 or 4 minutes of that wait time in just listening and maybe joking with you, maybe talking about a hockey game or talking about the weather, or they're talking about something that interests you. Maybe they're asking how your day went or if you have plans for the weekend. They're creating a connection and an experience that is guiding you towards talking about something that makes you feel lighter, makes you feel more joyful. I'm just going to acknowledge it's hard to then flip that and go back to feeling angry and irritated and maybe complaining about how awful the service is and how long you've waited. This person might give you a glimpse into what's happening in the back. So maybe they say, Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for the wait, we had, you know, two members of our team call in sick unexpectedly today, and so therefore we've got a lot of new people in the kitchen. Man, they're doing their best but I'll get that out to you as soon as I can. Can I get you a refill on your drink? They're not making excuses for what's happening in the back, but what they're doing is they're inviting you into the story. They're inviting you into this team experience to say, you know, I know, I can guess that you're a naturally good person. And if you understood what was going on back there and that they are really good people trying their best, but maybe we're busier than we expected to be or whatever that is, this server has the ability to change your story.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:47] And instead of you leaving that evening with the feeling that your service was terrible, you felt like you paid too much for what you got and it just was not enjoyable, maybe your story changes to, Yeah, you know what, the food took a long time, but our server was just really personable, and we were able to kind of strike up a conversation. Yeah, and from what I hear, they were a bit short staffed. And, man, I know what that's like, it seems to be something common everywhere. Now all of a sudden the story changes. This is anchored leadership. It's recognizing that that customer might have been feeling irritated and the potential to lose a customer, not get a great tip, to have to maybe promo your meal, is the outcome that you don't want. And they recognize that although they can't solve the problem, they can't go make the meal. They can't speed things up in the kitchen. Things are what they are. They recognize by just how they show up, how they connect with someone, by empathizing with how they're feeling and then inviting a different story or a different experience, the power of influence in changing that experience for the customer and potentially getting a repeat customer is much higher.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:09] Another example, this one has a little bit more seriousness to it. So a couple of months ago I was leaving my home and was headed into town. Come up, I was in a rush and I was feeling a bit distracted, I knew I was running late, I come up to the corner and I come up to a fairly major accident. Immediately I decided, Okay, well, I'm obviously not going to make my appointment. I pulled over, got out, and went running over to a vehicle that had rolled, and there was a gentleman who was standing right beside that vehicle, attending to the passengers in the vehicle that were trapped at that moment. There was only about ten people that had stopped and emergency personnel were not there yet. This was, it had just happened. This person who was on site helping these passengers wasn't wearing a uniform, had no identifying characteristics that he was the person that was leading this operation. And yet at a glance, I knew he was the person that I needed to talk to. He had become the hub of the wheel where all of these people were going to him asking questions, having quick conversations, and then leaving again. In a moment, I knew he was the anchored leader. I went over. Immediately he asked me just a few questions about my experience if I had had first aid or CPR, he sent me over and said, If you're comfortable, there is a second vehicle. It's on the other side of the road. I think there's also a passenger in there that is likely injured. If you could go and just assess that situation, don't move him, just talk with him. Come back if you need more help. Otherwise, if you could just stay with him until emergency personnel get here, that would be awesome. So clear. Now, I was not the first person there. He had said to people ahead of me, Can you go to your vehicle and get blankets and come back? He had said to other people who were upset and were feeling pretty overwhelmed, he assessed that in the moment and just sent them back to their vehicles. He asked if they had witnessed the accident and said, If you could just go back to your vehicle, you can just stay there until emergency personnel get here because they may want to talk to you, that would be the best thing you could do right now.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:41] He was able to not only be in the situation helping the passenger who really needed him, he also had his head up and was reading multiple queues of people who had come up on this accident, assigning them really clear action items, and created a story for all of us that said, here's what I need you to do, this is really important, and help is on the way. The way that he communicated was clear. He wasn't yelling. He demonstrated this sense of it's going to be okay. We've got this handled. In that moment he was able to be that center hub, constantly assess the situation of how everyone else was doing, and then he ended up assigning a role at the, kind of as he got enough people that were doing what they needed to do, he assigned a role to someone, If you could just, if people stop, if you could just be the one that tells them, we're okay, help's on the way, go ahead, you can keep going. Really phenomenal. That's a bit of a serious situation. And what I want to acknowledge is that he was able to set the thermostat as being one of calm, in control, with clarity, in a moment where the people around him may have been feeling really overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, worried, feeling really overwhelmed or uncertain. And he was able to anchor that in a story that says, Here's what I need you to do, here's your role, and help is on the way. It's going to be okay. Again, I want to come back to the fact he was not an EMT. He was not professionally trained. He was merely a civilian that happened to be one of the first people who showed up on the accident. Now, he obviously had first aid and CPR training. But I can tell you, most people who have CPR and first aid training don't demonstrate that level of calmness and clarity in those moments. This was a different skill set. He knew what to do, but in the anchored part of that service, he knew how to execute that, he knew how to stay calm in the moment, he knew how to demonstrate and influence others based on what they were feeling in that moment and what they were available for.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:10] So the idea with the anchored leader that I want to keep pulling back to is not only the idea that you can regulate your own emotion, your own body, I have no doubt in my mind he likely was not calm on the inside. His heart was probably racing. His breath was probably very quick. He was probably uncertain around how long emergency personnel were going to be. There was probably a lot of things happening for him internally that he was able to acknowledge but demonstrate something different that was calm and clear in the moment. He was able to connect it to a story that says, this isn't going to last forever, and we're going to be okay.

[00:15:58] Hi my friends, I want to interrupt for just a second and ask you a question. What would your results be at this time next year if you took time to get really clear on what you want and how to plan, and could take action to move that vision forward? You might be saying things like, okay, so I hired a bookkeeper, a social media manager. I have a virtual assistant, and I thought that delegating was supposed to give me all of my time back, but I feel like I am still in my business answering all of the questions, and I feel like I just can't give any more. I'm not sure what to do next. This program was designed for you. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, I have given ten modules that you work through on your own to develop the skill of leading well, to take your vision from being all on your shoulders, to really taking it to a team that can implement the next level of your business with you. You're going to learn how to hire and recruit, delegate well, provide feedback with confidence and clarity, and we're going to have some hard conversations about where you might be getting in your own way. We are going to have ten live sessions together where you get to meet other business owners who are going through similar things that you are. This program is going to be incredible. I'd love for you to join me. Check out the link in the show notes, along with a coupon code for 40% off for my listeners only. I hope to see you there. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:39] The third example I want to give you. So I want to acknowledge that it's not always about calming and being that kind of lowering the temperature with people. Sometimes what we want to do is lighten it up. The third story I want to share with you is from, I wasn't in the room, but it was a story that stuck with me. It's from my son's minor hockey days. We were going into playoffs and we'd had a pretty good year. We were coming up against a team that was really competitive with us. It was, we figured it was going to be a really exciting game. Of course, we're hoping to come out on top, and it was close to the end of the minor hockey career for these boys, they had played together for a really long time. And of course the team, the fans, we all wanted to have this kind of like made-for-TV movie great year ending where we win the championship and everybody is thrilled. We're going into this game, into playoffs, close to the end of the year, and about two hours before the game was starting, we find out that one of our key players, stronger players, is really sick and isn't going to be able to make the game. One of our other really strong players was injured and unable to play, but was at the game and on the bench just to support the team. I think what had happened is with that unexpected change that happened really last minute, all of a sudden it had created kind of a cascade effect on we had to change the lines, and the plays that they had been working on in practice that week with those two key players, now had to be changed. The coach himself was feeling a little bit anxious, overwhelmed, unsure. And that anxious energy, uncertainty, frustration, whatever it was, was showing up.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:41] First period we were not playing well, kind of as expected. Plays were not coming out as anticipated. The team just was not connecting because the lines were all mixed up. Coming out of the first period, I think we were down by 3 or 4 goals. It was not going well. You could feel it. The kids were bickering at each other. They were blaming each other. The coach was frustrated, there was a lot of, you know, hand running through the hair and a lot of sighing and head shaking. You could sense the tension that this is not the way that the story is supposed to go. Now here's the cool part about it. They take a break during intermission, and the player that's injured, who is one of our key players but is unable to play, puts his hand up to the coach and says, Can you give me two minutes? And keeps the coach and all of the coaching staff out of the dressing room in intermission. He walks into the dressing room and, as you can imagine, all the players are sitting around kind of bickering back and forth, and they're upset with the way the game is going and they're kind of blaming each other. This player walks into the dressing room and kicks the garbage can. Now, garbage can was empty, but he sends it flying across the room and hollers at the top of his lungs, You are an embarrassment! And then bursts into laughing, doubles himself over and says, I have waited my whole life for that moment. Thanks, guys. The whole team cracks up because the kid's ridiculous and he now takes on this, like, kind of silly persona of being this, like, completely off the rails coach who's losing his cool, and all he did was start lightning everyone up. As it turned out, now, my spouse was on the coaching staff and he said from the hallway waiting outside, thinking that we were going to come in and have a talk with these boys after a few minutes, could hear all of a sudden they're laughing. And they moved right into now talking about what they could do, changing their plays, figuring out what had happened.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:03] And he said, we recognized in the moment we weren't needed. That teenage kid who had zero coaching experience in his whole life, but had been a key member of the team, he knew how his team was feeling. He knew they were frustrated. He knew that things were not playing out in the story that they had anticipated. He could see that they were turning on each other and they were frustrated. And he recognized in the moment that what they needed was not someone to put more pressure on them, and to get more upset and to point out all the mistakes they were making. They weren't available for necessarily someone coming in and saying, okay, here's what we're going to do with the plays. What he recognized in the moment is they actually just needed to laugh a little bit and kind of let go of some of that tension that they were placing in the room that they were putting on each other, that was not allowing them to execute some of the things that they had known for years. The tension was impacting their performance and by introducing humor and a little bit of silliness and being over the top, he was able to lighten that whole mood. Anchored leadership. When I heard that story on the way home, which was just so fun, and I can tell you, we actually lost the game. But our team came out, the remaining two periods were so fun to watch because all of a sudden the energy of it has changed. We were in the game. It was really competitive. Now I don't even know how the rest of the season went. But what I knew in that moment is that that kid, at 15 years old, had leadership abilities that no matter where he goes in his life, no matter what he chooses to do, he will be successful with people. Because if you have the ability to read people like that, you will go far.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:59] Okay, now here's what I want to point out, because some of you might be thinking right now, Okay, well, aren't some people just like that? It's like it's built into them that they're naturally really empathic with other people, and they know what to do in the moment. And it just kind of seems to flow or go easily. I will admit, yes, some people this is more of a natural skill for them. They have a higher what we would call EQ and they use it well. All right. So yeah, for some people this does come more easily. But it is a skill that you can learn. It is simple but it is not easy. I'd love to tell you that I have a three step solution on how to be more anchored in your life, and how to read other people. That's not how it goes. I'm still figuring a lot of this out myself, but I can tell you that having a group of people who are at the same stage of business that you are, and provide a safe space for you to do some of this work in unpacking your own beliefs, reflecting on where you're at, and then figuring out different ways to move forward is invaluable not only in your business, but in your life. And whether you do this in a group like the Anchored Leadership Academy, which I know is going to be absolutely amazing. The people that have signed up so far are top notch, incredible, beautiful, kind people and we'd love to have you there. And if you're at a space where you just don't feel that safety yet in a group, I encourage you to reach out to a coach or someone, myself, or someone who's a great fit for you to start to do this work of unpacking, providing a safe place to self-reflect, and to do some of this heavy lifting when it comes to communication, because the impact that it can make is unbelievable.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:58] Thank you so much for being here. If you haven't liked and subscribed to the podcast yet, please do. This is how we build our community and I'm so excited to see it grow. See you next week.

Kari Lotzien: [00:26:13] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

10 - Creating Exceptional Customer Experiences

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 31 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

You want to create raving fans out of your customers and you can! You do that by creating exceptional customer experiences. Not through discounts, giving away freebies or adding overhead to your business, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m going to tell you how to give wonderful experiences to your customers with minimal stress on your end. But that relieves maximum stress on your customer’s end.

I share a story about how an appliance store made my life so much easier when my freezer died by first giving me the heads-up my fridge would be next and then by offering me a loaner fridge while I waited for my ordered replacement to arrive. They solved the cause of my stress in the moment I needed it. And that’s a key to an exceptional customer experience. How can you make your customer feel seen and how can you relieve some of their stress?

Customer experience that makes the customer feel special, feel VIP, feel understood and valued, that doesn’t come through freebies and discounts. It comes from anticipating the customer’s need and making small adjustments to your service to accommodate it. Maybe you check back in with customers after three weeks of them coming to your gym. Maybe it’s a personal welcome note in a hotel room. I’m going to tell you how actually easy it is to deliver the kind of experience customers will rave about.

Key Moments

01:43 My appliance store customer service story

09:25 How that customer experience worked to alleviate my stress

14:35 An example of a brilliant resort strategy for guest rooms

What are recurring stress points for your customers that you can alleviate?
Do your customers feel individually seen?
Simple things can mean the most, it doesn’t have to upend your whole company.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Anchored Leadership Academy
Remember, podcast listeners can get into Anchored Leadership Academy on an early bird rate for the first 20 people to register. 40% off with coupon code ANCHOREDVIP40 at check out.

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the Podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk to you about creating an exceptional customer experience. But I'm not going to talk to you about creating discounts or giving away a bunch of freebies or adding overhead to your business. The strategies I'm going to talk about today are going to add minimal stress, and are not only going to create raving fans in your business, but they're also going to make things easier on you and your team.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:43] I want to start with a story. A few weeks back, I was rushing around in the morning, running late, trying to feed the dog with one hand, load my coffee with the other, and organize some sort of breakfast that I was going to take on the road so I wasn't late for my meeting. I'm flying around thinking I'll just quickly throw together a smoothie. I reach into the freezer compartment of my fridge and my hand goes directly into this mushy, gushy, wet, disgusting soup of half frozen fruit and things that were in my freezer. Not the way I wanted to start my morning. And here's the crappy thing. I knew that freezer was going, I knew that our time was limited with our fridge. We had gone shopping for a new fridge and stove a few weeks back, because both of the appliances were starting to get quirky. The fridge was having issues maintaining a consistent temperature. We knew it was on our way out. But spending money on a new fridge and stove is really not that exciting, and it wasn't really where we wanted to be investing. So we went and looked and then we procrastinated for another couple of months until this happened. I called our local appliance store who we've dealt with before, that was where we had gone and checked out some of the fridges and stoves previously, and I said to him, I need to come in later today, what time are you guys open until because my freezer thawed out.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:27] Interestingly enough, he says to me, Just so you're aware, if your freezer is thawed, you probably only have a day or two maximum until your fridge goes too. Note that does not sound like exceptional customer service experience, but I'm getting there. What he did was tell me, okay, he's saving me from myself. He already knows that I've procrastinated for two months knowing that I probably was going to need a fridge and stove, and I didn't get around to ordering it, and now I've got myself into this situation. He's telling me you can't wait much longer before you're going to have a bigger issue than the one that's already causing you stress right now. I did appreciate his honesty. Now later that day, I changed my schedule a little bit so that I can make sure that I get there to the store before they close so that I can get this stinking thing ordered. With the age of our house and the way that our kitchen was designed, I know that my choices for a new fridge are limited because of the cut out in the wall. So there is only one option for a fridge in this smaller town store that fits into that particular area. And I don't really like it. So I'm sitting in the middle of the store already feeling a little bit stressed and ticked off with myself. And really not wanting to spend money on a fridge at all and don't want to spend money on a fridge that I don't really like and doesn't have the features that I want. So I'm sitting in the store having a conversation on the phone with my husband about, well, maybe I could order a fridge that I'm not quite sure how long it's going to take to get here, and I can give away some food. I can move things into the bar fridge that's in our garage, and maybe this will all work out. Here's where the exceptional customer service comes in. Sales Guy comes over and says, oh, if you'd like, we can bring you out a loaner fridge. A loaner fridge. I didn't even know such a thing existed. I said, talk to me about this. He says, well, let me know what your schedule is tomorrow. I can have my guys come out. We can bring you a loaner fridge. It is not fancy. It is not at all what you're looking for. But it works. It has a fridge freezer. It will serve the purpose. You can have it for as long as you need until your fridge comes in. When your fridge arrives, we'll take this one out and off you go.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:11] Exceptional. What happened in that moment was he could have so easily said, well, if you would have ordered the fridge when you were first in, it would be here by now and you wouldn't be dealing with this. He didn't. He anticipated that my biggest stress in that moment was I didn't want to lose all of the food that was already in my fridge, and I didn't want to spend money on a fridge that, although I could get it right away, was not really what I wanted. One of the services that they offer on all major appliances is that they will take and dispose of your old appliance, so you don't have to worry about wrecking your back or trying to find someone to help you lift it out. You don't have to find a truck. You don't have to take it to the dump yourself. You don't have to deal with any of that. For a small fee they handle it all for you. This is exceptional customer experience. They predicted what I needed in the moment to reduce my stress: a loaner fridge.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:41]Once I had that loaner fridge, I wasn't worried about the delivery window on my new fridge. Because I had something that was absolutely serving the purpose. So they were experiencing a lot of issues with supply chain delivery timelines. Things were delayed. We didn't really know exactly when things were going to be delivered. He could give me a few week window. But now that I had a loaner fridge, I wasn't really worried about that. It then takes the stress off their team to not have to deal with someone who's calling and asking, when is my fridge going to be here? I didn't call them at all. I knew and trusted they would call me when it came in, so it took pressure off their front line as well to just make things a little bit easier. My fridge came in, we changed it out, ordered a stove as well, so that I learned this time that I wasn't going to take this for granted again. Notice how timing is everything. This wasn't something that they needed to offer to every customer or to advertise it. Although I did go back and say, I really want to tell every single person I know about how amazing this was. Is this something you typically do, or is this just because I'm special? Because honestly, it felt pretty exceptional to have such a level of customer service. I thought maybe I was like a VIP customer. He says to me, well, you are pretty special. But no, we do offer this for everyone who needs it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:25] Do you see how they were able to create a customer experience for me in my stress, in my frustration, in my procrastination that had nothing to do with offering me a discount. It had nothing to do with them carrying inventory for the product or service that I needed. It had everything to do with solving my challenge in that particular moment and just helping me out. Their customer journey, for someone who's doing a kitchen renovation, or who's building a new house and is excited to have new appliances, it might look like a completely different path than what mine did. Knowing who your customers are, what their stressors, what their questions are, and just meeting them in that moment where they're at. This is another example of where timing is everything. He solved my problem in that moment. For someone who's looking at building a new home, they might do something around design and remodeling and maybe the top ten things that people need to consider when building a new home that you might not have thought of before. These are little things that just help your customer to go I understand what you're going through right now.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:44] Another example. Now this one is the other end of the spectrum. We had the privilege of being able to go to a Four Seasons resort with my husband's company because he had won a trip. What I love about having these types of experiences with very large companies is I get to see how companies that are doing amazing business who have built multi-million dollar corporations, how they're doing it. And I almost take it as this little study of business and customer service and how to make people feel seen. I want to share a simple example. We get to this Four Seasons Resort. So we come in a ferry, so there is about 120 people who get off the ferry at the same time, so we're all checking into the resort at the same time, which can create a huge delay when people are tired and they're hungry and they've had a long day of just getting to this point in their holiday. We're not relaxed yet. We just left work. We just finished leaving our kids with people and arranging baby sitters and dog sitters. We've been through airports. At this point we are not relaxed, grateful, happy travelers. We are tired and we're a little bit irritable, so there's a potential that things can go sideways.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:24] Even though this was a really exciting trip, we were at a stage where we were stressed. They had an assembly line on how to check us in, so we had to find our last name, there was our room key, everything we needed was already there, already put together for us. Then, as we're going to our room - so this resort is huge, I think there was 20 different buildings that all looked very, very similar. The rooms looked similar. The grounds looked similar. When you're tired and you've never been to a place before, it's brand new, it can be difficult to just navigate your way to find your room. The room keys now, so that when you lose them, no one else can get into your room, don't have your number written on them. This is important. As we were going to our room, every single time there was a fork in the sidewalk where we could have taken one direction or another, the resort had placed a person, a real live person. They greeted us and asked what our room number was and then guided us in the direction where we needed to go. This happened probably 4 or 5 times on our way to our room the very first time. We get to our room, we get all checked in, first thing I notice, there's a nice little handwritten note with our names on it saying how grateful they were that we were there and a little snack. Something sweet and something salty. They had anticipated our needs. Let us make it easy for you to get to your room. Let's get you checked in. Let's give you the experience of we knew you were coming by using your name. We're glad you're here. And we've anticipated you might be a little hungry after a long day of traveling. Here's something right in your room that gives you a couple of options and now you don't need to stress.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:35] It wasn't until later that night that I saw the true brilliance of the approach of having people set at all of the forks in the sidewalk. Later that night, we go for dinner, we're a distance from our room, and as we're going back, I now realize they prevented us from taking any wrong turns on our very first time going to our room. Other thing that they did, they created a system that had us repeat our room number a minimum of five times before we got to our room our very first time. In the evening, I realized that with 120 new guests in that resort on that very first night who were tired, who were in a very large resort where everything kind of looked the same, by having us repeat our room number over and over and over again, it embedded it into our memories. I wondered how many times before they implemented this system did they have people on the first night of their trip get lost trying to go back to their room and didn't know what room they were in. Which then created stress for the staff. And it impacted the first night of that travelers experience at the resort. It induced stress that maybe they didn't need to have. And by implementing this very small system, it embedded in our minds what our room number was, and made it more likely that using the signs, we would be able to find our way to our own rooms on our first night without having to utilize the additional resources of the resort and pull those people off of whatever task they needed to be doing late at night when they had less resources, less people working. Brilliant. I also loved that the way that that hotel was designed and the way that their systems operated, they had a lot of people showing up at a certain time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:54] You might have this in your business as well. Notice, if you're a mechanic, do you have a lot of people who show up first thing in the morning to drop their vehicles off? And is that a time where you really want to implement a system that allows for things to be additionally efficient, so that that process is even easier for them? Do you have more resources on hand for people to ensure that they're getting what they need in that moment? You don't need to have those additional resources. That resort did not have people sitting at every fork in the sidewalk for the entire day. They had strategically placed them there for a short amount of time when they knew they could invest that resource to preventing challenges later on. It was brilliant. What I want you to take away from this is that, number one, empathy. Anticipate what is potentially causing stress for your customers, whether that is the fridge situation or that they're tired from traveling, or that they're upset that they, you know, have had their car break down. Are they nervous about coming to a new place, or how can you anticipate how they're feeling, what they're thinking? And can you find a way to verbalize that to them and make their process just a little bit easier? Let them know what to expect. Just like my appliance guy who said, just so you know, you only have two days until your fridge goes as well and now you've got a much bigger issue. He was letting me know based on his knowledge and experience, this is what is coming, this is what you can expect. So therefore I knew if I procrastinated any longer, he was giving me a warning what was going to happen that was likely going to make me even more upset. So he was he was protecting me from myself.

[00:18:55] Hi my friends, I want to interrupt for just a second and ask you a question. What would your results be at this time next year if you took time to get really clear on what you want and how to plan, and could take action to move that vision forward? You might be saying things like, okay, so I hired a bookkeeper, a social media manager. I have a virtual assistant, and I thought that delegating was supposed to give me all of my time back, but I feel like I am still in my business answering all of the questions, and I feel like I just can't give any more. I'm not sure what to do next. This program was designed for you. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, I have given ten modules that you work through on your own to develop the skill of leading well, to take your vision from being all on your shoulders, to really taking it to a team that can implement the next level of your business with you. You're going to learn how to hire and recruit, delegate well, provide feedback with confidence and clarity, and we're going to have some hard conversations about where you might be getting in your own way. We are going to have ten live sessions together where you get to meet other business owners who are going through similar things that you are. This program is going to be incredible. I'd love for you to join me. Check out the link in the show notes, along with a coupon code for 40% off for my listeners only. I hope to see you there. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:36] I want to also just acknowledge how these situations when you implement timing in anticipating what your customer or client needs at this exact moment, prevents future challenges for your team and makes things easier for you. So I want to pull this out because sometimes it's hard when we think about a specific industry or a specific service, to pull that into our business or our service. So I want to just give you a couple of examples. Things like going to the gym. I think a lot of gyms do a really great job onboarding new clients. So we go through what the check in process is like. We might have an initial welcome process where we go through key pieces of equipment or you know, how to check in for a class. We give people a lot of information at the beginning. But then what I'd like you to do is think a few, it might be a few days, it might be a few weeks. Does your client need change? Do they experience something differently once they have committed or once they've started? Do their needs change? This gives you a second opportunity to be exceptional. So let's just say someone signs up for the gym. We know that there's a certain level of motivation that keeps people coming for the first week or two. But it usually plummets by week three. By leaning in with a personalized, like the resort, using their name, getting some feedback, How are you feeling? We find a lot of our clients in week three might have new questions, or we find that maybe you're wanting something different, or you're finding it maybe a little bit more difficult to get here. We'd just like to let you know, we think you're amazing. We're so grateful you're here and we just want to invite or we want to give you an additional resource or a little bit of information about another program that you might be interested in that we offer.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:49] This allows your client to have that same experience that I did when I felt like a VIP. I wondered, does everybody get this? Because you're using my name and you're making me feel so appreciated. In the second contact or that follow up, this is where you can absolutely up level your customer service experience because most businesses don't do this. Let's talk about even a massage business. If you have chiropractic, massage, physiotherapy, any service-based business where your client comes to you sometimes when they're injured or they're in pain, we know that when we've solved that initial problem oftentimes people stop coming. If you have a system or a process that says someone comes to us with an illness or an injury, we anticipate that they'll come 3 or 4 times before that injury is resolved, let's create a system where someone from our team touches base with that person to say, hey, we're just following up wondering how your shoulder is feeling. We want to make sure that we're preventing further injuries. I've attached a little handout on some stretches to just make sure that you're you're continuing to stay really healthy. Do you see how incredible that would feel? You feel seen. You feel appreciated. But it also invites you to stay top of mind in your customer's experience so that when they're not in stress or feeling that pressure of, I need your service immediately, now you've invited them into a different type of relationship where they might look at something different.

Kari Lotzien: [00:24:38] For example, with my appliance store, once they solved my fridge issue I went back and I ordered a new stove. It was much less stressful because I had a stove that was working. It was a different experience, but they were able, through their exceptional customer service the first time, to invite me into a second relationship in that customer service experience. This type of intention with your processes will take you to a whole other level of satisfaction with your customers and revenue. Other ways that you might consider this, so just a couple more examples, if you're a mechanic and you have that drop off in the morning where a lot of people are dropping off their vehicles for service, things like having a shuttle service available to take them to work can take pressure off your team because it doesn't impact your customer's day as much. If they're taking time off, which is maybe why they've procrastinated or they haven't got their vehicle in to get their winter tires put on, or to do that oil change to do that maintenance, if you can take that pressure off and say, oh, well, we can run you to work, no problem. What time's your lunch break? We'll come back and pick you up and your vehicle will be done. That can take pressure off your team, because now if they're running a little bit late, they don't have a customer who's now staring down your receptionist wondering, you said that my vehicle would be 47 minutes, and now it's been an hour and two minutes, and I have another appointment that I need to get to. It just takes the pressure off. By having really good internet with an easy login, so that if you have customers who are in a waiting room, they can still do some of their work, they can check their emails, you've got good coffee available for them. These are little things that just make your customers feel seen and appreciated, and it makes their experience with you just a little bit easier.

Kari Lotzien: [00:28:44] I think timing is the biggest piece of this. Whether it's following up after an injury, if you're a massage therapist, whether it's helping someone find their way to their room as a tired traveler, whether it is anticipating the needs for someone whose appliance shuts down. Whatever it is, it's thinking about what do they need right now and not necessarily delivering everything all at once, but doing it in a nice step by step approach and creating a system for that. The beautiful thing is that every one of these examples, if you follow the thread, reduces the pressure on the business itself. And I'm going to point out not one of these systems talks about offering a discount. It doesn't talk about carrying more inventory, offering more products or service. It's just a matter of empathizing in the moment.

Kari Lotzien: [00:29:43] I want to finish up with the most simple way that you can uplevel your customer service experience that you can do so easily. By just smiling and greeting someone by name, and I'm not saying looking at their credit card and then mispronouncing their name, but if this is someone that you're anticipating who's coming for an appointment, by sincerely saying good morning, asking how their day is going and using their name in a natural way, it allows people to feel seen. And I think this is one of the most beautiful things about being in a small business, is we have the opportunity to both make money and build business and revenue and support our communities, while allowing people to feel appreciated, seen, and thanked for doing business with us. I think we've lost some of this in the last little bit, but it is the simplest way to come back. If you're coaching your receptionist, your frontline staff, whatever it is, or if you are the owner of a large company, if you can come in and greet one of your key customers by name, or introduce yourself and then use that person's name back and just thank them for their business, this will absolutely grow your business. It will grow your revenue and your profit line. And it's so simple. It's the simple things that can really change how this all plays out. I want to thank you so much for being here. Make sure to like and subscribe to the podcast. Share it with someone who is building a business and is looking for key ways to just help make this whole thing even more exceptional, and to add to the passion they already have. Thanks so much. We'll see you next week.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

09 - How to CEO as a Solopreneur

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 24 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

If you’re a solopreneur or a small business owner, there is an expectation that you’ll automatically want to also be CEO. Sometimes you don’t want to, though. Sometimes doing the frontline work is what you love about your business and you don’t want to step away from that. There are ways for you to keep doing what you love while also taking small moments of “CEO time”. I’m going to talk about how.

The first thing to talk about is what CEO time actually means. There are three main roles in your business and it’s important to separate them: the provider role which is frontline, the admin role which is scheduling and invoicing and social media, and the CEO role. What does the CEO role look like? How do you accomplish it while keeping yourself invested in the other roles? I have advice for you.

Your CEO role doesn’t need to pull you out of the frontline work that you might love. And, in fact, you might decide to include a CEO in your business down the line. But while you’re a solopreneur it’s important that you understand how to carve out that big picture visionary time every so often where your head is out of the day to day and you’re looking into the future of your business.

Key Moments

05:51 The three roles in business

06:37 What CEO time looks like

14:35 How to do effective market research as a solopreneur

How can distractions be eliminated during CEO time?
Focussing on wins in business is a key part of future strategy
How a CEO type goal is very different in nature from items on a To Do list

Resources discussed in this episode:

Anchored Leadership Academy
Remember, podcast listeners can get into Anchored Leadership Academy on an early bird rate for the first 20 people to register. 40% off with coupon code ANCHOREDVIP40 at check out.

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:11] Hello, my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk about being a CEO and a solopreneur. Most of the clients that I work with are either moving to a small team, under 10 or 20 people, or they're making that transition from being a solopreneur in their own job to starting to think of their job as more of a business. Transitioning to what does this look like long term? Where do I want it to go? This is what I call taking the CEO approach to your business. Now I started that way as well. I think one of the difficulties in the podcasts and the courses and the books that I read on entrepreneurship tend to have the philosophy that to be successful in business, you need to move toward the position of CEO in your company, and that you need to move away from working frontline in your business, delivering the service or the product, or doing that kind of frontline work. And here's the thing, I feel that there are a lot of entrepreneurs that don't want that. That their vision of why they went into business was not because they wanted to hold the CEO position in their own company. Oftentimes, it was because they wanted to deliver a product or a service in a different way that they didn't see in the marketplace. Maybe they worked for someone else, but they didn't have the freedom and flexibility that they wanted to support the lifestyle that they wanted to live. Maybe they wanted to do things a little bit of a different way, but they still were dedicated to the front line service in their business. And I think this is a challenge that a lot of us face when we really love what we do. We love working in our business. And when we listen to those types of trainings or podcasts or opinions, it feels like they just don't really get me. They don't really understand my business. I don't want to be corporate. I don't want to grow to 500 employees and multi eight figures in business.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:35] And here's the thing, you don't have to. It doesn't have to be like that. When I think about anchored leadership and being an anchor in your business, what I'm talking about is when you're running a business and you're doing the front line service, it's like you're paddling that boat. You are doing the work. You're generating the revenue and you need to. That's what having a business is, that it's a trade, your time, your product, for money that then serves your life. When you're paddling that boat, you're doing the work. You're in it. The time spent as a CEO in your business is the time where you pause from paddling. You lift your head and you notice, am I headed in the direction that I want this business to go? Are we still on course? Is there something coming? You notice the current. You notice challenges or waves that are happening out there in the marketplace and you go, oh, I see that coming up and I intentionally make a decision or adjust to change course so that things feel easier. Or maybe you prepare yourself. You know what? I think this is going to be a really difficult time we're coming into and here's my approach. I'm going to, you know, gather some people or I'm going to really save my energy because I know that we're going into a challenging time that's maybe going to require more of me.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:08] The time where you pause and lift your head is what I call CEO time. The mistakes that I often see solopreneurs make is that we shift from working in the business, delivering the service or the product, paddling the boat and then we go to admin type tasks and we think that we're working on the business. If you're sending receipts to your bookkeeper, if you're meeting with your accountant, if you're meeting with lawyers to finish off your year end or whatever that looks like, if you're sending invoices or sending out payments, that is admin work. That's not CEO work. So I think the first thing you want to do is separate those three roles in your business. Your provider role where you are frontline, serving customers, selling products, what that looks like and all of the tasks around that, ordering, reordering, invoicing, all of that. Shifting to admin, admin includes scheduling your social media, any type of marketing task, all of your accounts, payables and receivables, all of your bookkeeping type tasks, returning emails, returning phone calls, all of the things that are required to keep your business operational. Those are admin type tasks. You are still working in the business. As we move to, well, what do CEO tasks look like then? It often just looks like spending time intentionally to lift your head and notice what's happening around you. How I suggest this working best as a solopreneur is you need to literally shift your physical environment. I don't suggest spending your CEO time, if you have a brick and mortar location, do not be doing this in your office because all of the triggers, all of the visual stimulation around you says, here's what we do when we are in this space, and you will naturally go to working in the business, you'll be doing admin, you'll be dealing with clients. I would also suggest you're not doing this at home because you have other distractions there. Ideally just carving out some time, this could be a couple of hours at a coffee shop, this could be booking yourself an Airbnb or a hotel for one night. But you're carving out this time and space as CEO time. Make sure you're letting people know that you are away, that you are not available during this time, because if you get a client phone call or an email or you've got distractions during this time, your brain and your body will learn that that takes precedent. That takes priority over working on the business. And you're used to doing that. You are used to multitasking and dealing with all of these things. So what you want to do is during this particular CEO time, you're kind of protecting yourself from yourself. You're cutting off that contact, you're eliminating those distractions so that you can come back to really setting your course and where you want to go next.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:36] Okay, so some of you might be picturing right now that you're sitting in a hotel, you don't have the distraction, and now you have no idea what to do next. And I get it, I totally understand. So I'm going to send you away with some key questions and ideas on okay, then what do I spend my time doing? What does this look like? Process. Number one, start with your wins. Since the last time you sat down, so maybe it's been a year, maybe it's been a couple. Or maybe it's been just a few months. Write down where have you made gains? Where have you had wins in your business? And I always like to start here because many of my clients, and I will admit I was this way myself, and I still kind of am, we tend to focus ahead of ourselves all the time. We are visionaries, naturally, so we're always thinking about where we want to go next or things that aren't working, problems that we need to solve, but we always tend to be in forward motion, and we don't spend enough time looking back and really celebrating what has got us to this point in our business.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:50] You build your business on multiple wins, things that are going well, whether that is you had a client situation that went really wonderfully, you found someone to help you schedule your social media posts, you had a really great conversation where you shared some inspiration or a passion around your business. Big or small, acknowledging the wins that you've had thus far will help you to build forward and, too, it almost primes your nervous system that you're building on success. When we naturally kind of come to this time as a CEO, you might notice that you're thinking about challenges that you are facing or problems that you need to solve or things that you're worried about. And naturally, when that happens, we have a negativity bias, every human being has it, when you focus on the negative, your ability to be creative and come up with solutions is limited. Because when we feel challenged, when we feel like we are under fire, or we're having the stress of trying to solve a challenge, our focus narrows. And it's harder for us to think of creative solutions. It's harder for us to have multiple visions of different opportunities that we could face, because just naturally we go into that protective mode which says, I just need to solve this immediate problem and get out of this discomfort or overcome this immediate challenge. So by focusing on your wins first, this allows you to kind of relax your brain and it reminds your brain and your body that things are mostly going well and that I am a resilient person. I've overcome so many challenges in the past. I have faith that this will happen again for me, and it kind of just relaxes and creates space. I quite literally envision this as my muscles relax, my brain relaxes, and when I have more space in my muscles, in my thoughts, in my mind, this is where new ideas have space to flow in. So that's what you want to do first. Other ways that you can do this is you might start this time by going for a walk, listening to music that you really enjoy, pairing it with your favorite warm beverage. You know, a nice cup of tea. Do things that help promote that sense of relaxation that things are okay, and that you have space.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:31] When you put those things together in your CEO time, this will help to build the foundation for you to have really great ideas. Then you want to lean into, so what are your wins first, then reflect. What is feeling easy right now in your business? What are you really enjoying or what are you getting great feedback on? Maybe this is a time where you're going to review some of your finances with a focus on what has been profitable, what's working. So when we start with this again, it's layering on what are our wins, what's feeling easy? What am I really enjoying in my business right now? What seems to be working? And then you can shift to, now let's start to think about others. Are you noticing feedback from your clients or your customers? What are they enjoying? What are they purchasing? What are they interested in? Have they been making requests of things that they would like to see in your business, or ideas that they have? Start to notice that. If you've had a new product or a service that you've been offering, how are your clients reacting to that? Taking time to just kind of step back and notice. And if you get to this point and you think, well, we did try that product or service but I don't really know what our clients are thinking about it, and I'm not really sure what the feedback has been, I don't know if they're enjoying it or not. You can look at a portion of the data being, are they spending money on it? Are they giving their time and their resources to it? But if there's other things you want to know, this is a great CEO type activity to say, okay, actually, something I want to take away from this is I need to find out what our clients are thinking about this. I need to find out if they've got some ideas of things that we could adjust or change. What do they like? What do they not like? And I'm going to focus some time on just getting that feedback.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:36] This then leads to the next piece. And I say this one, I want you to imagine this next point coming with a little bit of a caution sign in front of it. I want to talk about market research. The trick with market research, I don't want you to go down the path of your competitors and start to get stuck in the comparison trap. What I want you to do is to think strategically based on what we've talked about before. Your wins, reflecting on what's easy and what's working, following client or customer patterns and noticing what's going on, and then saying, okay, these are some questions I have about the market. Are we still priced competitively in our market? What are some other trends that we're seeing or things that maybe my competitors or my partners are offering that maybe we haven't offered yet? Dial in your questions. Know exactly what you want to research or what you want to know before you go into this rabbit hole. Because if you go in without a plan into your market research, you might find yourself hours later just being stuck in a comparison trap of what we're doing and they're not, or vice versa. You don't want to go there. When you're doing market research, you're dialing it in to find out key questions about best practices, about what's happening in the market. Is there a trend or something that's happening in the outside world that you feel might be affecting your business? Dial it in and set a time on it. I suggest absolutely maximum no more than an hour that you're dialing this in, because you don't want to follow threads and end up on like a family circus path where you're nowhere close to where you started or what you needed. Set yourself a time limit and stick to it so that you know where you're looking for that information and you know exactly what you're looking for. Then you pull it into, what challenges are we facing? Maybe what issues or sticky parts are coming up in the business that maybe aren't easy? Are there things that just feel hard right now? Are there things that you are not enjoying in your business? And I want to highlight these things you may not be enjoying, may be profitable. This just gives us space for it. We're not making a decision just yet, but I want you to acknowledge that this feels hard, that this doesn't feel like something that you're really enjoying in your business, even if it's profitable. Are there things in your business that you're really enjoying, that feel easy, but maybe are not generating the profit that you're wanting them to? Again, this is not time to decide whether or not you're going to continue with it, but it's a space to just acknowledge what's happening.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:39] You're just literally lifting your head, looking around, and noticing what's happening around you. Then you can brain dump. What are all of the ideas that I have floating around right now of maybe things that I want to consider trying in my business? Are there maybe positions that I'm starting to think, oh, maybe I could outsource this part because it's something I need to do, but I'm really not enjoying it anymore, or I'm finding it difficult. Maybe I understood it at one level, but now that we're going to this next space or I'm advancing in my company, I really need to have someone with more of an expertise. Just start to brain dump ideas. Again, we want to give space for idea generation before we jump to decision. Sometimes when we are squeezed and we're in our business and we've got multiple demands on our time, we will jump through this process too quickly. And we'll decide, oh, that isn't making money, we're going to stop doing that. We're not going to offer that product or service anymore. Or oh, here's a new idea, but it just seems like it's too much to implement. So we're not going to do that right now. CEO time allows you to just have space and time to generate ideas without making a decision, without moving forward. It's just a space where you start to collect your ideas.

Hi my friends, I want to interrupt for just a second and ask you a question. What would your results be at this time next year if you took time to get really clear on what you want and how to plan, and could take action to move that vision forward? You might be saying things like, okay, so I hired a bookkeeper, a social media manager, I have a virtual assistant, and I thought that delegating was supposed to give me all of my time back. But I feel like I am still in my business answering all of the questions, and I feel like I just can't give any more. I'm not sure what to do next. This program was designed for you. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, I have given ten modules that you work through on your own to develop the skill of leading well. To take your vision from being all on your shoulders, to really taking it to a team that can implement the next level of your business with you. You're going to learn how to hire and recruit, delegate well, provide feedback with confidence and clarity, and we're going to have some hard conversations about where you might be getting in your own way. We are going to have ten live sessions together where you get to meet other business owners who are going through similar things that you are. This program is going to be incredible. I'd love for you to join me. Check out the link in the show notes, along with the coupon code for 40% off for my listeners only. I hope to see you there. Back to the show.

Kari Lotzien: Now, that being said, when you're collecting your ideas, make sure that you write them down. If you think of a board meeting in a large company where there's a lot of advisors and you're having that CEO type meeting, they are taking minutes. Make sure you're taking minutes so that you're capturing these ideas, even if you are all by yourself. You might think that you'll remember or there's a place to come back to it. Often we forget because when you go back to the front line in your business and your mind kind of gets tangled up again in the day to day, you may forget all of these ideas. So I suggest either having a Google document, an ongoing document that you can add to over time, or it can be as simple as just a notebook, but I would title that document or that notebook, your CEO minutes, because you don't want that to get caught up in all of the minutes and ideas and documents of all of the other things you're working on in your business, you want this to kind of be a separate thing, so that the next time you have carved out time as a CEO, you're coming back to your minutes from the previous meeting and you're just reviewing those ideas and maybe doing some updates like, ooh, that was a challenge then. And it's something that we've overcome now. It might become a win in your next meeting.

Kari Lotzien: Or as you are looking at your patterns with your customers and clients, you might now have the data that you needed to fill in a gap that you identified last time. So we want this, these CEO meetings, even if you're all by yourself, to have a sense of continuity and they're occurring on a fairly regular basis, whether you're doing it monthly, quarterly or even annually at the beginning, I don't suggest that, I suggest doing it on a more regular basis. But you have that sense of a thread that you're creating that story and that vision for your business as CEO. So make sure that you're absorbing that. And then before you close out that session, you're going to look at all of the data that you've produced right from what's happening in the markets, where your wins have been, what's feeling good, what information do you need? Where are the sticky spots? And before you close out that meeting, you're going to create action items. Now, I suggest do not create a list of 22 things that you want to do in your business in the next month. Decide on 1 or 2 things that you want to focus on in that CEO role. So this is different than a to do list of these are all the urgent things that just need to be done to close out our month end, or to get ready for year end or to, you know, work with clients.

Kari Lotzien: This is a CEO type goal. This is what I'm looking towards for maybe the next year. And here is the area that I'm going to focus on so that I'm moving towards that bigger goal. So maybe that's I'm going to find out a little bit more about market research. Maybe I took my hour, but now I've noticed that I actually need to find out more information about certain areas so I'm going to make a list of what things do I need to find out, that's going to be my area of focus for the next quarter. Or do you need to have something that you're gathering, more testimonials or more client feedback, and that's going to be your area of focus. Maybe you're deciding you actually do want to move forward with a new product or service, and you want to start to create a funnel so that you're attracting clients, or you're letting them know this is a new service or a product that we're offering, and how am I going to optimize that in the bigger picture? So the planning and the big picture guiding towards is CEO. When you're thinking about your marketing funnel, when you're thinking about who might be set for this product, maybe who else do I need to let know, because they may be a good referral source, or they may be someone who would be interested in their clients also needing this product, that is CEO time. When you're looking at kind of that big picture marketing, when you're looking at creating social media posts and actually implementing that, now that's back to your admin. So I want you to just see the thread through that system. Putting it all in one spot, having that journal so you can create that story of your business. This, even if you are by yourself in the meeting, these same processes will apply in any small business.

Kari Lotzien: Where I want to bring this back full circle is know that you don't need to fully step out of the front line of your business. If you really enjoy providing that service, being with your customers, and that's what fills you up, that's what feels good for you, know that to be successful in business, you don't have to move up that proverbial ladder to be a 100% CEO. But you do need to take time on a regular basis, even if it's a short amount of time, to step into the CEO role and give yourself space and time to do this type of long term visionary work and then come back to that front line. You might do this even as you build your team for long periods. I have a lot of clients that they are the main revenue generator in their business. Chiropractors. Massage therapists. Psychotherapists. If you move into your CEO role full time, you might really be taking away the major revenue generating piece of your business, and you don't want to do that. So just know that you can do both. You might decide that maybe your long term vision is that you want to be doing customer care three days a week, and you really want to hold more of that ownership or CEO role two full days a week as you build your team. That's fine. I just want to give you permission that you don't need to have this vision of moving out of frontline work, because the other thing that I sometimes, actually often see, is that as owners move into that more management or ownership role and they move away from client service, they actually start to lose the passion for their business. So if that's happening to you, you also want to give yourself a place to notice that and to say, okay, you know what, I thought this was what I wanted, but it's not working for me. This doesn't feel enjoyable. I don't really like spending all of my time working with team members and managing staff and working with all of that piece. If you don't, then that can also be time in your CEO role where you say, okay, these are the pieces of the business that I'm actually not enjoying doing. I want to make the customer care and that frontline piece of my work central in my long term plan. And then we look at filling different areas. So you may look at bringing in someone into your business who is more of a CEO type role, or an integrator role as a partner, or even as a senior level manager in your business. That might be your long term plan. And that's okay.

Kari Lotzien: I hope today gave you some clear ideas on how, even as a solopreneur, you can set aside time as a CEO. I hope that you take away those points to see exactly how you can use that time, so that you don't just kind of spin your wheels and end up not having value in that time that really moves your business forward. Thank you so much for being here. Make sure that you like and subscribe to the podcast and please share it. There are so many people out in the world right now who are trying to make a go of business. They've got a brilliant product or service. They are a wonderful person and you want to see them succeed. But navigating this journey can be challenging. Share the resource with them. Give them that little boost up. It's free, it's easy, and it builds our communities together. Thanks so much for being here. See you next week.

Kari Lotzien: Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

08 - How to Manage Conflict in Your Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 17 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

None of us get into business anticipating disappointing clients or having disgruntled employees. We all have the best of intentions about pleasing customers and making employees feel valued in jobs they enjoy. Unfortunately, humans have different perspectives and navigating those perspectives can lead to conflict. So how do we manage conflict when it arises in our business?

The first step to developing a strategy for conflict is to reflect on how you currently manage it. Do you tend to ignore conflict, hoping it will go away? Do you feel like you need to have all the answers and scramble for a solution? Or do you immediately go on the defensive? All of these are natural responses but they aren’t effective strategies. I’m going to talk about how to work past those instinctive responses to develop a more measured plan of action.

Part of conflict management is getting to the root of the issue and then being willing to address it. Simply giving in to complaints only reinforces negative behavior by rewarding it. What is the complaint really about? Could it have been preemptively avoided by inviting regular feedback from customers and employees? I’m helping you with the difficult navigation of conflict, but I’m also going to help you avoid some of it by talking about strategies that deflate complaints before they become conflicts.

Key Moments

05:36 Avoiding conflict and other ineffective methods of dealing with it

07:25 Conflict with customers

18:50 Conflict with employees

How do we manage when we’ve had a negative review?
Why getting feedback, positive and negative, is so important
Do employees have all the correct expectations about their roles so they can rise and obtain raises?

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor the Podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea, big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much!

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends, I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk about a bit of a sticky subject around managing conflict in your business. Now, no one went into business planning to disappoint people or have disgruntled employees. You went into business because you really thought that you could deliver a product or a service that your customers wanted, and that they valued, and that they would appreciate you for. You hired people thinking that you would treat them well, and that they would have jobs that they enjoy, and they would contribute to the growth and the success of your business. I get that. And just because you're dealing with conflict, big or small, in your business, doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. I want you to really hear that. If you are working with, serving, or have humans as part of your business, we have different perspectives. There are times where we're maybe not as responsive and we're maybe a little more reactive than we want to be. And as we're trying to just navigate this together, it can create challenge and sometimes sticky, uncomfortable situations. Now if this is happening on a repeated basis and there's a pattern to it, then maybe we want to dive into that a little bit deeper. But for the most part, I want to just talk about how you might have a strategy or a plan to navigate that conflict in your business.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:43] The first step, I think, is just pausing to take a bit of time to reflect on how you manage conflict currently. When someone shares with you that they're not that happy or they feel that they were treated poorly in your business, what's your natural reaction? And how is it working for you? So I can tell you I had a rehabilitation practice for well over 20 years. And when I first encountered conflict in my business, it was often related to cancellations, so late cancellations that came in, or people who just didn't show up for their appointments. And I got to a point where I developed a cancellation policy that if you canceled within 24 hours of your appointment, that you were charged a 50% fee. What I didn't have a plan for was how I was going to implement that when someone would say that they didn't want to pay it, or that they felt it was unfair. And to be honest with you, there was times where they didn't say a word about it, and I anticipated that they were going to be upset. So I just didn't charge it. I would do whatever I could to appease my client, to just not have to deal with that so that they would stay happy and I feel like they would continue to have a long term relationship with us as client. Now what happened is my lack of ability to manage that conflict ended up creating a bigger conflict when I had additional team members, because now when someone would cancel on very short notice or would just forget about their appointment and not show up, my staff still expected to be paid. And let's be honest, we had clients that were kind of notorious for canceling last minute, and we wanted to change that behavior. We wanted to make sure that, especially when we had a wait list for our services, that if there was going to be a cancellation we could allow someone off the wait list to come in on short notice so that we could fill that slot. That was our desire. But when we weren't either at least addressing the issue of what that means to our business when you cancel on such short notice, how that affects the clients that are sitting on the wait list, how that affects your success in your program, all of these things, when we didn't address them, just compounded the problem and made it bigger later on.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:36] The other thing I often see is people who just avoid the conflict. They might hear rumblings that people aren't happy or there's something going on, and we just kind of ignore it and hope that it goes away. And I can tell you not the best solution either. The third, sometimes we feel like, especially if we are a sole entrepreneur or we are the single leader of a team, that we feel like we have to have the answers. So if someone comes to us with a conflict that we immediately have to have the solution. And when we are stressed, when we are feeling overwhelmed, we might not have the solution, or we might not be the one who has the full perspective of what's going on. So just notice, are you the type that feels like it's up to you to come up with the solution to the conflict? And the last is when people feel like they need to defend themselves. So when someone comes to you with any sort of disappointment that you feel the need to go into that defensive posture to explain your side of the story and that you are right. This can happen online. I think we see it often with business owners who will go on and respond to a negative review and try to explain their side of the story, which creates this position of opposition with their client or their customer. And again, not the strategy that I would suggest. So I think the first thing to do is just recognize how are you responding right now? And is it working? Are you potentially creating more conflict in the future in your method that you're currently managing these things that are coming up?

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:25] The next thing I want to go into is to just kind of divide into two sections. So let's talk about conflict when it comes to customers. So how do we manage when we've had a negative review? Or how do we manage when maybe one of our customers is not completely satisfied with our service and they've come to us about it? The first thing. So I'm going to talk to you about a customer of mine, she prides herself on their business being efficient, professional, they do incredible work. And she called me one day and said, Kari, I don't know what to do. We have had someone post a really negative review of our business and she was devastated. Number one, she felt that it was a really personal attack. The way that it was written was really questioning the professionalism of her business. So what was happening is this person attacked their pricing structure and accused them of overcharging and basically falsifying information on an invoice, and she took it really personally. So as we kind of dove into it, we started looking at, okay, how have we dealt with this in the past, number one? And how did it get to this point? Third, we go to is there anything we could have done to prevent this in the future?

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:56] So number one, when I asked her tell me about this client. So number one, she couldn't respond to go into defense, which is what she kind of wanted to do was to tell her side of the story as to why the charges were absolutely justified, how they tracked their time, why her pricing was very similar, if not better than her competitors. She wanted to go into the whole story. Naturally. But what we were also a little bit tied with, and if you are in health care or you have a business that needs you to protect the confidential information of your clients, you need to be really careful of this, because we don't want her to disclose any of the confidential information about her client, or to put them at risk. So, number one, she couldn't do that. She also didn't want to just ignore it because she said, I only have a couple of Google reviews on my site, which we're going to circle back to.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:59] I said, did you know that this client was upset previous? And she said, oh yeah, this client does this every month. They complain about their invoice. Okay. How has that been managed in the past? And she said, well, it started off where this customer would just email us back and say that I feel that there was an overcharge on this and this and this. And she said we would typically just adjust our invoice and carry on. And she said, and then I got to the point where I was like, kind of getting irritated with it. So she said, I didn't respond, and I just sent the reminder that the invoice needed to be paid. And she said, and then the customer phoned me and said, I need to talk with you about these charges. I think this is unfair. And she said, and when they leaned in and complained again about the charges, I adjusted the invoice and carried on. So do you see what's happening? What had built over time is that this customer was being financially rewarded through their conflict, and the way that the owner just wanted to appease the client, right? We have that idea the customer is always right, so she was waiving parts of his bill and saving him significant money just to appease him.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:18] Now, what had happened was she decided in this particular encounter that she was no longer going to do that. And she said, please give me a call. I'm willing to go with you through the invoice with you line by line and explain the charges, but we will not be reducing our fees this time. So she held the boundary, which she had never held before, and he increased it and took it to a public platform to really show a negative review on her business. So when we leaned into this, number one, we had to recognize that part of the problem was the way that she had dealt with the conflict in the past. She had never felt that she had overcharged. She had never felt that there had been falsified information on an invoice. She absolutely stood behind her systems and processes in things being very accurate. And she was really proud of the fact that her team was efficient and often came in under the budgets of her competitors. But in this particular situation there was a reward for him complaining. So we recognize that if we would have set that boundary earlier, it likely would not have escalated to this point. So then we went through and just navigated how we were going to go through this together. So we leaned in, we said, I want you to create some sort of a response to the review. So we want you to lean in, acknowledge that you understand that there were some challenges that you are really open to discussing in a private situation, and that you would be reaching out by phone within the day to discuss this further.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:03] So what this does on the public platform is it takes it to, Who's watching? All your audience wants to know when they look at your reviews online is, Are you willing to address the challenge? So the fact that she doesn't say, you know, reach out to me if you want to talk more about this, she takes the initiative and says, I will be reaching out to you today by phone to discuss this in a private setting. What this did for her audience is it showed even if someone's upset, she doesn't ever break confidentiality when it comes to her clients. She is willing to lean into that discussion, which is difficult, and she took some initiative on how she was going to deal with that. So we developed a little bit of a script on how she could respond to any negative reviews that come up in the future. The other piece of this, that we dug down a little bit deeper to, was she didn't have many five star reviews because she never asked for reviews from her customers. She relied on word of mouth, which I know a lot of you do. We tend to think that when people are happy with our service, they recommend their friends and family, and they recommend us to other people and that that just builds. But if someone doesn't know you yet and they find you online, they rely on those reviews to decide if you're the type of business that they want to work with. So make sure that you're proactively asking for feedback from your customers.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:30] Now let's lean into that a little bit more. I think getting into the habit of asking for feedback from your customers, and not just give us a five star review, get detailed, ask them questions about how their experience was. What they maybe particularly enjoyed or what stood out to them. And is there anything that we could have done that would have made your experience just a little bit better? Those three questions can help your clients if they were hesitant in sharing that, you know, maybe they weren't upset with the service, but it wasn't as good as it could have been. This opens the door for them to say, I want your feedback. We value you as a customer, and we really want your experience with our business to be exceptional every time. When you invite that feedback, and you do it not only with new customers, but you do it with your long term clients as well, maybe that looks a little bit different. So it's not the same questionnaire that goes out every single time they come to your business. Maybe one of the times you have your admin phone and just say, hey, I noticed you came in last week. Just like to touch base on how your experience was. You've been a long term customer. We really appreciate that. Anything you feel we could be doing a little bit better? Right? That tells your customer, hey, I know you've been here a long time and we really appreciate you. And I don't take for granted that just because you keep coming back, that means you're a raving fan. We can always be doing a little bit better.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:13] One of my clients, she's a massage therapist, and she said, one of the things that I used to do is when someone came to see me for a massage and they had a really particular issue or challenge going on - so maybe they had, you know, a lot of pain in their upper back and they were really struggling with shoulder checking - she said, I made a habit to just give them a quick phone call within 24 to 48 hours later and just, she said, often, I never even talked to them. I left a quick message and just said, Hey, I'm just checking in. I'd really like to know how you're feeling today. How's your neck? Are you able to shoulder check, noticing any differences? If you have any questions, give me a call. She said 90% of the time they never called back, but they always commented on it the next time they came in. They'd never had that experience before. When you lean in to getting feedback, when you take that extra little step, this creates that open door where people, if they do have something maybe a little bit subtle that just didn't quite feel right, they're going to reach out to you because what we don't want is they start to feel maybe a little bit disappointed and instead of saying anything, they take their business somewhere else. And worst off, when someone asks them for a referral, they don't give it to you. They send it somewhere else, and maybe they share their disappointing experience with their friend or their family member, and they never let us know. Which never gives us an opportunity to change the experience. So I really feel like when you lean into this with your customers and you show a willingness to get curious about what their experience was like, and you show them that you're not just going to defend your own position, even if you're justified. So the position with my client, who had a really negative review, that was a little bit different than what I'm talking about here in getting ahead of it. Your approach is a little bit different, but when you consistently use a proactive approach to inviting any negative feedback, it really creates long term raving fans because then we see it over and over again. You know you can't be all over social media if someone says something negative about you on a community page. But when you have created a habit of leaning in and requesting feedback from your customers, they have your back. So if they're on the site, they will defend you. They'll tag you in the post to make sure that you have a chance to respond. It's really the best thing ever.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:50] Okay, now let's go to the other side. Let's talk a little bit about employees. So I want to give just a three step kind of process to how we can manage conflict on our team. And I'm going to do this through just a couple of examples. A couple of things that are coming up quite often are working from home or working remotely. Or, I feel like I should be paid more. The working from home challenge. What we're hearing is that with the last few years, a lot of businesses allowed their team members to work from home or work remotely, or have some sort of a hybrid model where they were in the office sometimes and not others. And where I'm seeing it is owners and managers are questioning, Do I still continue this because I have a discomfort with it? Is this really working well? Is it working well for my team culture? Am I getting the results from employees that I really need? So the first step to this is make sure you've identified the real issue. Because often the issue that is brought up - I feel I'm not being paid enough or how come they get to work from home and I don't, are we allowed to work from home or not - that's not the real issue.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:19] When we peel the layers of the onion we can dig down to what is the actual issue. Working from home. When I start asking more questions, which is the number one thing that I think we need to do is stay curious before we react. Especially if you're the type of person that just wants to appease or wants to go to defensiveness. Can you stay in that middle zone and just stay curious? Not respond. Give yourself a little more time to understand. When I dig in with a lot of my clients around, what is the real issue when it comes to working from home? The issue is not where they work. The issue is, well, I have some questions because I notice that when this one person works from home, they get a ton of things done and I really don't have an issue with that. But when this other person works from home, what I notice is that when I call them, they don't respond. I email them, sometimes hours go by and I don't hear anything, and I question, Are they really doing the work that I need them to do? Or, you know, when they have the distraction of kids in the background, is that really impacting their ability to stay focused on the projects and the work that we need done? When I dig into that with them, we identify that the issue is not whether you work from home or not as a team. The issue is how do we ensure that there's accountability no matter where we're working from? And how do we distinguish if a remote working environment is the best solution for this employee with this role in this situation. And it might be different for different members of your team. When we dig into that and we then start to identify, okay, now let's go to the second step of let's explore all the solutions to this challenge. So the solution might be we allow everyone the option of working from home. Or, nope, everyone has to come into the office. There might be more solutions that allow us to address the true issue. How are we going to measure accountability? How are we going to maintain team culture and connection? How are we going to ensure that there is a high level of service for our customers, that we still have that same quality no matter where we're working from? How do we measure that? How do we do a check in? Now do you see it opens up so many different options and different solutions. Then we go to deciding what the outcome from that conflict is going to be.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:05] What I suggest is that when we go to step two, you might get some input from the team. You might decide that you know what? Help explain to me why this works for you, or what your concerns are, or why you really want this. And I'm going to share with you what our worries are or how we're going to work through this together. So you create this space where you're not trying to defend your own position. You're just looking at all options. So your goal at this place is to stay really broad in your perspective and scope. Then you may take it back to a smaller team. Maybe this is your senior management, maybe this is just you, to make the final decision. So you want to be clear, if you take this to a team, this is not a vote. It's not that the majority wins. It's not that the loudest person in the room wins, or that person that you like the best. You want to identify that you will be taking the input from everyone, and that you will come back with a final decision and likely an explanation as to how you got there or why. Now, once you've decided you can make a different decision, you might then talk about reevaluating. So we're going to try this plan for 2 or 3 months and then we're going to evaluate how it's working. So just because you make the decision doesn't mean that you need to be forever stuck in it. But it's important that you make a decision. Don't stay in that gray zone too long, because that's when people start to feel really uncertain and they don't really know what's happening, and they feel like nothing's being done and maybe you're going back to just ignoring the problem. So you want to make sure that you've got that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:24:47] Now let's let's go for the other side. I feel like I'm not being paid enough, I feel like I deserve to have a raise. When we dig into that, what might be revealed is that the issue is maybe not that this person is being paid unfairly compared to a similar role within your organization or with the competition. So the first data that you might need is has the market changed? Are people being paid more and you were just unaware of it? That might be one of the issues. The issue might be that you're actually expecting more of this person, that you hired them, and you really expected, based on their experience and their background, that they were going to be able to deliver a little bit better quality than what they are. It could be that this person really wants to go to that next level. But maybe in your mind you think, I need a little bit more experience or I need you to have this specific skill set. Maybe it's a course or some really focused training to be able to access that next level. When you look at the real issue, is it that they're being paid unfairly compared to market? Is it that you could pay them more but they don't know what training or what your expectations are, because maybe your job description was not clear. And when you come back and you reflect on the description of the job at hiring, to just say, okay, are we matching the expectation of what you're currently being paid and pointing out if there's any gaps, then the person knows, okay, these are the things that I need to clean up so that I can get a promotion or I can be financially compensated for what I'm doing here. If I want a really substantial raise, it's not a matter of just showing up and doing the same job for longer, but that really I need to up level my skills or I need to take an additional training course, or I need to get some licensing or a different role. Now you've shown them the guideline as to here's how you could achieve that next level. So when you look at all of the solutions, this isn't just about paying them more so that they stay in their current role so that they don't quit. When you then make the decision, We'll review this in three months, here's the training that I want you to do. Or here's a couple of the key skills that I really want you to work on. And then we're going to book a meeting and follow this up in 6 to 8 weeks to see how this is going, it moves us through the conflict together.

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:26] Because what I don't want to see, similar to the customer that was leaving the negative Google review, what we're seeing sometimes in business is that your employee threatens to quit, or they ask for a raise and they get it. And you don't want to set up a situation where the only time people get raises is when they threaten to quit because the word will get out. And typically people who have done it once or twice will continue to do it because it works the same way it was working for that client to get money taken off of his invoice. What you want is that business is a collaborative relationship. It's an exchange. You are more than willing to pay for service that is improving the quality and the service in your business. But your employees might not know how to get there. So make sure that you're just helping to set that up. And if you really just can't, if there is a reason why you are maxed out and this decision just is not available to you, then with some reflection and integrity, you don't want to be disclosing too much, but you do want to make sure that people know why you've made the decision that you've made based on the knowledge or the data that you have available. So if you just can't give raises right now because your lease costs just went up 30%, or your utility costs have doubled, or maybe you're in the food industry and you are just not able to recover the price of food based on the overhead of your building, your utilities, and your food costs, make sure that people know that, because sometimes we'll create a story in ourselves that we assume, Well, the reason that they don't want to give me what I'm asking for is because they don't care about me. They don't value what I'm doing here, or they're taking it all for themselves. So you want to make sure, be transparent and speak to that. If you value that person, make sure they know that. I absolutely appreciate the time and the energy that you put into this. Here's what I see, I see that you're always looking to make our business better, I see that you are absolutely exceptional with our customers. And I absolutely don't want to lose the appreciation or the value that I see in you. I can't do this right now, but here's how we could or here's maybe another solution to our challenge. Could I give you a bonus somewhere else? Could I give you a little bit more flexible hours? Could I offer you maybe a different role where you could develop a different skill set and be compensated in a different way? Show that you're willing to work together to solve the conflict, that it doesn't just become a you win or I win situation.

Kari Lotzien: [00:30:17] All right. A couple of just dangers that I want you to just think about as we close up. I want you to know that there is a long term consequence of not leaning into conflict. Developing the skill set for knowing how to navigate this, which starts with self-reflection, know how you typically respond, and ask yourself if it's working for you. If you find that you lean towards kind of ignoring conflicts and hoping they go away or assuming that the loudest voice in the crowd represents the majority, this brings us all the way back to the beginning. I know that you didn't go into business to disappoint people and to have them say bad things about you. But sometimes it can feel like the loudest voice in the crowd represents all of your customers, and you can start to feel really discouraged and feel like no one appreciates what you're doing, and the value is just not there and that you're not appreciated. Recognize that it is just because one voice in the crowd is so much louder than the others. So it is up to you as a business owner to ensure that those quieter voices in the crowd have a space to have their voice heard, whether that's through one on one reaching out, having them fill out a customer service questionnaire, asking them for a review with some focused questions. We want to make sure that we are surveying enough people that we get an accurate representation of where the issues are and where we're doing really well so that it balances out. This, I know, will help you to create a community of people who are raving fans of your business and will have your back when you're not there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:32:06] All right. This is where I'm going to leave you. I want you to lean in to just a little bit of conflict. You know where it is. You know where there's potentially some gossip or some sticky things going on. How can you show up with a little bit of transparency today, keeping your feet on the ground, to just lean in and get a little bit curious? Thanks so much for being here. I'm so grateful that you're listening in, that you're continuing. If you haven't liked and subscribed yet, please do. I don't want you to miss an episode. And if you know of someone who is really struggling to navigate some negative feedback in their business right now, please take a screenshot or share a link to this episode with them, because this time can be a little tricky and we want to make sure that there's support. Let's give each other a hand up. And if someone's doing something really well in business and you've had a great experience, let's make sure those voices are heard too. If you can reach out and give someone just a little bit of a boost today, please do. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:33:12] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

07 - The 3 Rooms to Success

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 10 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Do you remember the kids’ table at holiday gatherings with the family? Where perhaps too many people were crammed into too small a space so the kids were shoved to another table that felt like it wasn’t the important table to be at? That’s what inspired the idea I’m sharing with you today, the understanding of the 3 rooms we need to travel through to achieve success.

The 3 rooms fit into the journey of life, of business, and of achievement. They are a series of rooms, as I envision them, that we hopefully travel through as we learn more on our journey. Not everyone will actually leave the first room. And those who make it to the second room may not leave that room either. But my hope, for myself and all of you, is that we all make it to the third room.

I’ll share what each room feels like and the mindset of the people in that room. Entrepreneurs and business owners all go through every room. So the best advice I can give is to learn the lessons of each room and progress through to the next level of success. Room Three, a place of opportunity, collaboration, and conversation, is the pinnacle of the journey. What mentors can help get you there? And if you’re there, how can you bring others in?

Key Moments

06:07 Room One, the Kid Table room

09:24 Room Two, the Room of Independence

13:12 Room Three, the Mastermind Room

Do you have a mentor or can you be a mentor?
Do you cling to the scarcity mindset, the belief that there’s not enough to go around?
Envision a place where people listen more than speak and collaborate willingly with each other

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:11] Hello my friends. Welcome to the podcast. I'm your host, Kari Lotzien, business and leadership coach. Today I want to talk to you about an idea that I have shared with a ton of clients and friends in my life, and it's just getting so much traction, so excited to talk to you about it. I grew up in a family that there was a lot of cousins and a lot of aunts and uncles, and for holidays we would gather at my grandparents house, which was this tiny little home, and we would pack all in there and it was just loud and noisy and chaotic and things got broken and kids were fighting.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:50] But it was some of my best memories from my childhood. Although we had a kid table. I don't know if you grew up in one of those families that was really chaotic and we tried to squeeze a lot of people into a small space. Inevitably, we had this kid table, which all the kids were pushed off of the good table where the adults would sit and into the kid table, which was sometimes the coffee table, sometimes a card table, sometimes, you know, a random picnic table that was brought in from outside, dust it off and we didn't... sometimes you'd stand, sometimes you'd sit if you didn't have enough chairs. But I always felt that the kid table was the second rate table. Being one of the older cousins, I, you know, would have to look after the younger cousins, help them cut their food, help them, encourage them to eat. And I always would be watching that adult table and thinking that's where the good stuff's happening. That's where I really need to be. What age do I need to be? What are the qualifications that I can finally move my butt out of this kid table to over where the good stuff's happening? Now we can talk about how coming into adulthood is maybe not as exciting as it seems, and maybe the conversations over there were just really not as entertaining as I thought they were.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:13] But this idea of a kid table and wanting so badly to be at the adult table, I've taken it and twisted it a little bit into life, business, where we want to go and who we want to go there with. As I'm coming into some middle years, let's call them, of my life, one of the things that just keeps coming back to me is how absolutely grateful I am for the people that have become friends, that maybe started as clients, started as colleagues, or maybe even competition and how they've become some of the best people on this journey of life and how those relationships have changed over time. Because I come from a small community in rural Alberta, Canada, where I felt like my world was pretty small. I felt like my opportunities were pretty limited because what I could see was based on the people that I was around on a daily basis. I didn't get to see people who were living big dreams, especially women. Most of the business owners in my community were men. They were very, very few of them.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:33] And I had this kind of admiration, but not accessibility. I always felt like we were on completely different grounds. And as I've kind of been looking back and thinking, okay, how did this whole thing work out for me? How did I end up developing two different businesses? How did I end up continuing to want to push to go to that next level of success? What got me there from being this small town kid who didn't have a lot of experience with entrepreneurs in my family or in my friend group. How did I get there? And so I want to share this with you because for me it's exciting. And I think what it does and what I hope it does for you is it shows that this journey to success, whatever that means for you, whatever that definition is for you, is available no matter where you are right now, no matter if you are sitting in your little crappy one bedroom or maybe even not even a one bedroom, maybe a little studio apartment that is dirty and has nasty shag carpet, this is available to you too. It's not about money. It's not about handouts. It's not about opportunities that are multigenerational. I think this is different and I'm so excited about it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:56] It starts with the kid table analogy, and now I want it to have really exciting titles for the rooms. What I'm going to talk to you about is three rooms. Room one. This is like the kid table room. I think this is where many of us start. This is where I started when I was a teenager, when I was a young adult. It was the idea that where your life goes is a direct correlation to what is offered to you. The reins are held by someone else. This room is noisy because what you're going to hear is people complaining, complaining about their bosses who don't see them, complaining about their parents who maybe didn't give them the opportunity to go to university or they didn't have the encouragement or the love or the support that they needed, that the government is unfair and that they just don't get the opportunities. This is a place, this Room One, where we feel like life is happening to us and that we can only go so far because the fences were built by someone else. They were built by our family, our upbringing, where we live, who we're related to, what jobs we've had. But there's a constraint in this where we feel almost out of control of our own destination. Now, I can tell you there are people who live in this room for their entire lives. You know them. You know them. You get together and the conversation is just naturally about all of the hard things. And any time maybe you invite this person to reflect on what they could do or something that's available to them or an opportunity, it's often met with, You don't understand, and the bulk of the conversation is helping you to understand how hard life is and how those opportunities of the people that are leading successful businesses that are on YouTube, that are taking control of their lives, aren't available to me because 'insert the multitude of reasons, slash excuses why that's never going to happen'.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:22] And the trick is that if we stay in this room too long, it can feed our sense of there's a lack, that lack mindset. There's no opportunities, things are hard, things are unfair. The good stuff is reserved for other people, but it's not available to me. And there's all different levels of this, right? So there's a Room One and, you know, some people - I'm going to be very, very honest with you - grew up in really difficult situations where maybe they faced neglect or abuse or trauma. And I'm not saying, and I want to be cautious, that this is not about blaming that person and saying that you just need to get over it. It's not like that at all. It's saying, yes, this happened to me and that doesn't mean that I'm going to stay here long term and not look for this next step.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:21] The next room is the Room of Independence. And when I picture this room in my mind, I see this large room filled with cubicles and everyone is kind of huddled over their project, their computer, their papers, and they're almost protecting it from everyone else. It's a room in isolation, but yet everyone is kind of talking over each other, just trying to be heard. So as we move from that Room One where we're blaming everyone else, where we feel that someone else built the fences, someone else has set the ceiling, Room Two is when we take responsibility and say, you know what, I think I can do it differently. I think that maybe this is available to me if I work hard, if I get the experience, if I get the knowledge, if I go to the school, if I take the course, if I do the thing, maybe I can take the reins back in my own life. It's exciting. But it can also be a little bit lonely. This is when all of a sudden when you put your foot on the gas and you think, this is what I am driving towards, oftentimes those fences dissolve, the ceiling, you know, sets itself at a different level, and you can see opportunities that you didn't see before, that you didn't have experience directly in your hometown or in your family or in your small friend group. Now you're starting to set your own destination and you're saying, you know what, this is my vehicle of life and I'm driving it. I'm taking responsibility and this is what I want. And it's different.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:05] Now, I can tell you, I think it's an important place to be. I think we have to step through this room where we start to take our power back. But if we stay here long term, we also feel like there's not enough to go around. You know, when I said that, it's like being in a cubicle where we protect our own ideas and we think that our own hustle and our own effort and learning all of the things is the path to success. This is the room that leads to burnout, because this is where we can be our own worst enemy, because we do all of the things. We don't have that trust in others so we try to learn it all ourselves. We try to really lean in and think, okay, I need to learn it all. Do it all. Do all of the work to get the thing that I need next. It's really based in hustle. And again, many of us, if this was the experience that we had in our lives, so maybe you did grow up in a family where there were entrepreneurs and maybe you've grown up in a space where you did get to see some people that were taking that next step, when we look back - and some of this, I think, is history related - what can happen is we are fed the belief that there is not enough to go around. That if we share our ideas that someone else will take them. That if we don't keep our foot on the gas, if we don't keep driving, that it's going to dry up. That there's not going to be enough. That when we're rewarded and people say things like, oh my gosh, I don't know how you do it, oh my goodness, you work so hard. There's also accolades and a pride in being successful, but it can start to build and snowball on itself that we protect because we naturally don't trust that there's enough to go around. We don't trust that there's this next step.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:12] The third room. When I imagine stepping into this room, what I picture is these really comfy chairs and the room is quite quiet. There's not people talking over one another. Often there's only one person talking. But they're all seated together. No one's trying to be seen. No one's trying to be the center of attention. There are far more listeners in this room than there are speakers. I call this the Mastermind Room. This is the room of the people who have hustled. They've done the work. They've put in the the grind and the hustle. They've done all of that. And now they've come to a place where they know that there is enough to go around. They have taken the chance. They've reached out to other people to collaborate or say, Hey, I've got this new idea and I'm really excited about it, but I'd just really like to run it past you. And they've opened that door and they've released their ideas, their thoughts, their fears, all of it with someone else and what they got back in return was not someone stealing their ideas. It wasn't competition. It wasn't the scarcity. But it was this solid feedback of this is what I've done. This is what worked for me but I think things might be different now and here's how I see it for you. And there's this dialog that comes back and forth that you know these people are wise. They're not loud, they are gentle. This room is much, much quieter. There's more questions than answers in this room. These people are great listeners. They're curious. And this is the room that I am consciously aiming to be in. And what I can tell you, this isn't you get to a certain age and then you come through it and you move to the next room. I wish it was like that, it's not. There are people who will live their entire lives in Room One blaming everyone else. There are people who will live their entire lives in Room Two feeling that there is not enough to go around and that they need to do it all and they need to push and grind and they can't trust anyone else for fear that there's not going to be enough.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:39] Every time you step into a new room, there are less and less people there, I can tell you that for sure. And as you move through the rooms, every time you step into a new room, you will feel like an imposter. You'll feel like you don't belong there. You'll feel like you haven't done the work, that it doesn't fit. I can tell you, this is normal. I have a really beautiful story. I've done the work. I had had my business at that point for about 18 years, and I had been invited to speak internationally. This was, I think, the second time that I had spoken internationally. And I was over the moon excited because my name and the description of what I was talking about was going to be in the same booklet as the people, the gurus that I had looked up to. And I felt so filled that someone was going to find out that I didn't belong there, that my credentials were not of the same level or the same quality as these people who had gone before. And as I walked into the conference feeling my stomach was churning, I was feeling hot and cold and dizzy and constantly thinking, Oh my gosh, I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning when I need to speak and I'm going to be so sick. Like, you know when your nerves get so big that you feel like you're most definitely coming down with an illness that is going to completely incapacitate you? That's how I was feeling. And I was trying to overcome this with, you know, I'll go to the the networking event at the beginning and I'll chat with some people and I'll smile at some people. But internally, I was completely a wreck. I did the workshop, I got through it. I dragged my sister along because she was this just one point of stability that I knew she would be gentle with me. She would look after me if something went sideways, she would support and help me. It was incredible to have her there. I got through it. I got beautiful feedback in my workshop and I remember someone coming back to me at the end and telling me that they were a researcher from Stanford and had been sitting in my audience. I almost passed out when they told me that because I thought, Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I did not know you were in here before because I wouldn't have been able to talk.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:11] And guess what? They were kind. They gave me feedback. They told me how they resonated with some of the topics that I had brought up. And later that night, one of the women who I have looked up to for at least 20 years of my career, she was an absolute leader in the field, came over and just congratulated me on my presentation, and I said to her, I really want to be at the big kids table in this industry. I really want to know what do I need to do? What courses do I need to take? What do I need to study to be at that table? And she looked at me, gave me this really beautiful, unassuming smile, shrugged her shoulders and said, Oh, Kari, the seat is there. It is yours. You already have it. You just need to sit down. I still get emotional thinking about what that felt like in that moment of being welcomed into this room, feeling like not only did I get to sit at the adult table, but that there was a seat open for me and that my biggest resistance in occupying that space was my own. Oh, huge. This is where I think we need to be. We need to recognize that once you've done the work, reaching out and collaborating with other people will take you to a level of success that you can't even dream of. It's bigger than you. The peak of the hustle and the effort, it's actually in the second room. The first and second room are so much harder because the pressure is on. The tension is there. But when you get to this third room and you recognize that you can do your part and that you are merely a piece of a beautiful puzzle, that you are one voice in an orchestra, and that when you find those other voices, when you find those other people that will support the bigger picture, it feels easy. It feels like you can just show up and do the thing that lights you up and other people will contribute to that and you will build on each other. You will encourage each other, you'll challenge each other. You'll push each other forward. And when you experience this level of acceptance and belonging, it is the most incredible feeling.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:04] And I don't say this in a way, because I think that when I was in that Room One, when I was sitting in my small community and I couldn't see any other entrepreneurs, certainly not ones that were willing to speak with me and talk to me about their journey, I couldn't at that point have said, Oh, I just need to get to Room Three. I had to go through the challenges of being in that independence and hustle and and push through. But then when it was time, when I was at that point where I just was thinking, I can't do it like this anymore, I can't take on any more of myself. That's your invitation to move into Room Three. Who else do you need to connect with? Who do you need to reach out to? Who do you need to share your idea with? So that it becomes easy again. And often as we move into this collaborative place, this mastermind, we're a little bit older. There's more demands on our time, but this is the place where it starts to feel easy. And if you are in that place, if when you are listening to this podcast and you think, you know what, I am in Room Three, I have these amazing people in my life, keep your head up because there is an opportunity for you to be what that beautiful mentor was to me. You can reach out and let the person know, who's still hustling and grinding and doing the work, let them know that you see them. Invite them into your group. Allow them to join your table, share your ideas, make them feel welcomed, and know that they're not going to naturally maybe take their place at the table because they didn't know that they had got it yet. They didn't know that it was available to them. But if you're already there, invite them in. It's how you make that table stronger, how you get new voices, new ideas. It's how the whole thing builds. But we have to do it together.

Kari Lotzien: [00:23:06] I am thrilled to share this episode with you, and I hope that it's been really helpful as you reflect on where you are in your own journey. And is it time for you to consider moving into the next room? There's fewer people. It's not as noisy. You're going to feel uncomfortable. You're not going to feel like you belong there. But it's where the magic happens. Thank you so much for being here. If you love what you heard and you're inspired to share, take a screenshot of the podcast and share it on your social media. Like and subscribe to the podcast, this is how we build community. As I've moved into this third room and I'm going to be honest, there's times where I bounce back and I think I still need to do it all myself and I come back to Room Two, but as I move into Room Three, it's really important for me that I build community. I believe that is the legacy that I want to leave in this world. I want to encourage more people to live their dreams no matter where they started, no matter what their story was at the beginning. Whatever story that started your journey, own it, love it, appreciate what it's brought. Don't get stuck there. Let's build community together. Let's encourage each other because this is the way that we go to the next place in really developing incredible, strong, supportive communities where we can all see what's possible. Thanks so much. Chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

06 - Jillian Vukovich - Money, Mindset and Mental Health

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 3 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

I’m inviting you to join the phenomenal conversation I have with my guest today, financial planner Jillian Vukovich. Wherever you are, join us as we talk frankly about money, navigating friendships as colleagues and clients, and how being human and mental health fit into business. There’s a lot to learn.

Jillian shares the very personal story of how she got into the finance industry. It’s not a place she ever imagined ending up but the way she came to it is beautiful. And who needs a financial advisor? I ask her that million-dollar question and she answers honestly. She has advice for all of us at whatever level of business we’re in.

How should we teach our kids about money? What did our parents teach us? Does being vulnerable help or hinder a business relationship? These are just some of the questions Jillian and I tackle together as we discuss the ins and outs of being an entrepreneur, a woman, a business owner, and dealing with finance.

Key Moments

15:20 Money is fluid and psychology plays a big part in finance

22:33 The pros and cons of generational financial advice

38:15 Being human in business

What the one-third/one-third/one-third piece of advice is all about
What’s the best way to manage client relationships that have also become friendships?
Mental health and how it drives success and understanding

About Jillian Vukovich:

Jillian has been in the financial services industry since 2011, beginning her personal practice in 2016. Jillian specializes in assisting business owners and incorporated professionals with the growth and preservation of assets, as well as the legacy of their estate.

Jillian holds the RRC and CFP designations.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Anchored Leadership group coaching
“Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Elizabeth Gilbert
Annual charity event created and run by Jillian in support of the Mustard Seed's School Lunch Program: Bowls for Bellies

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Contact Jillian Vukovich | IG Private Wealth Management:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us, to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends. So here's how I'm picturing this is that you're headed to work. You're commuting. Maybe you're dropping your kids off or you're taking some time to just go for a walk. Well, today, I want you to invite Jillian and I to come along with you. We have recorded, I think, a phenomenal episode around business. We talk about money. We talk about navigating friendships as clients and colleagues and doing all of the the messy work in between. We talk about what it means to be human and mental health in business. I want to just invite you to listen as if you are part of the conversation. And let's just hang out together and go for a walk. So glad you're here.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:57] All right. Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business leadership coach Kari Lotzien. I am so excited to introduce my inaugural guest for the podcast. I want to introduce you to Jillian Vukovich. She is the owner of a financial planning practice, and in the last episode I talked about my advisory board, my personal advisory board, and Jillian is one of these people that holds the integrator role. We've become very close friends over the last few years, and I'm just so excited for you to meet her. Jillian, welcome. I want to start off by just letting you introduce yourself. Talk to us about your story. What kind of got you interested in owning a financial planning practice? Was there like a personal experience or a story that you can share?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:02:52] Yeah. Awesome. Thanks. First and foremost for having me. This is so exciting. I'm so happy for you and for this step, this is awesome. So I never in a million years thought that I would end up in finance ever. Never. I could have told you a thousand things I would have done first. My background's in psychology. That's what I went to school for, and I had all of the big wishes and dreams of doing something in that side of things. And I honestly fell into financial planning totally by accident when we started using one, my husband and I, and when we spoke to our financial planner, I just saw a lot of things that I really liked and a lot of gaps. And I took it away and I thought about it for a while and realized that I'd have to say an awful lot of money is psychology. And I was like, Wait a minute, there could actually be a big opportunity in this world for this. And so as I was mulling it over and trying to decide if this was something I wanted to do in life, my dad got sick. He was diagnosed with stage four throat cancer. And my whole life, my parents had good jobs and earned well and everything seemed peachy and really, really quickly after his diagnosis and treatment, he ended up losing his business. He was a solopreneur. He was the only one. He was the guy. And when he couldn't do it, the business basically closed with him, and my mom ended up leaving her job to care for him. And it really just showed me the value of financial planning because they unfortunately didn't have a super solid plan in place. The plan was keep earning good money, keep spending good money, keep living a good life, you know, which I find so many people do, right? We get to a certain point in time and we earn enough and we make enough in life feels good. And you kind of forget that there could be a different side to this coin. So that came in and one thing led to another. And so I started my education boat to financial planning. So I got my my Master's in financial planning and have been just kind of constantly working on and upgrading education as time goes by to just become more and more educated in specific categories.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:08] I love the connection to your dad. So that entrepreneur idea, you grew up with. But then I think a lot of solopreneurs that I work with too, it's that idea of we don't even dream that we'll ever get kind of knocked off our business game.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:05:27] No, and I think so many of us like you develop this mindset that like, well, I am my business and so long as I'm here, which I'm going to be obviously every day, then I'm fine. And look at what I'm capable of and look at how much I've created and look at how awesome I am. And we get stuck in this, like things are great, things are great, things are great. And even if it's a lot, it still feels really positive. And I think not many people stop to say like, okay, but what happens if it stopped tomorrow? It's done. What does that look like? You know, and I think if people took a second to think of that, it's a pretty intimidating thought.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:05] Well, and you also referred that it wasn't just that he stopped working and then your mom could keep working, but he needed her to be a caregiver and to help, you know, look after him and what that looked, you know, just the stress that that puts on a family, including yourself as a daughter. And, you know, it sounded like by that point you had a partner and a spouse and, you know, you're building your own and that, you know, it really impacts more than just your business and yourself. But it really has such a a trickle down effect to your family and the people who really care about you.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:06:38] Yeah, well, 100%. And I mean, skip forward. He's still alive. Hallelujah. But, you know, they ended up living with us for a while and it did, it just changed our, like, our demographic totally. And again, that idea of, like, money and what does it look like? And even for them, are there two of us? Is it just one of us. Do we have like two CPPs? Is there just one? Like, you know, these small questions that you normally wouldn't even think twice about that makes such a huge difference if you don't have a strong plan or background in place.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:10] You know what we're going to talk about? I can hear your little one in the background and that's part of it. It's, you know, like you just talked about, we don't just get to divide ourselves into business and parents and all of this. And I know that, you know, I just appreciate that we're going to bring all of this today. So hearing your little one in the background, not even an issue at all. This is what we're here for. We're here for it all.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:07:34] She just likes to say hi.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:36] Of course. Of course. She's like, hey, give me that microphone.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:07:39] Yeah, I want to say hi to everybody.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:42] So when I think of someone who owns a financial planning practice and you said, you know, this wasn't something that your parents had really had a well-developed plan. It wasn't something that you had grown up with, but that it was something that you and your husband initiated when you got married. What do you think some of the myths are of who needs a financial planner? Is it only the people who have, you know, big businesses and and lots of money to invest? Who needs one?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:08:10] Yeah, my honest answer is I think everybody, most people, in some capacity. Now, your financial planner doesn't always need to necessarily be a human. A financial plan could be developed through, you know, some reading and some education and some understanding all the way up to, yeah, I mean fairly complex situations you absolutely need a person to be there and advocating for you and in the background. So it's a big question because there's a lot of kind of hype and like negativity around financial planners right now and like, Oh, you're still using Dad's guy. Thanks Questrade like, you know, and so sometimes it isn't needed. Sometimes if you have an idea of like tax brackets and what's happening in your plan and what the pros and cons of saving in certain places are and you're saving regularly and you're, you know, not afraid of the markets and you're investing properly, you can run your own finances. And there are absolutely people that do that. I would argue that the majority of us aren't coming home from a long day at work and kicking off our shoes and pouring a glass of wine and turning on CNN and seeing what's happening in the world that day.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:18] I'm not.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:09:20] I'm not. And it's my job. So, you know, if you need more of a hands off approach, if you don't understand the pros and cons to any of the like, technically, we have three different places in Canada to save money.nIf you don't know that or the difference between them, it's probably good to get some advice. And then when you're seeking advice, there's multiple different levels at which you can receive it. So more and more financial planners are niching into certain markets and so dependent on what your need is as a client, you would find a specific planner for you, for yourself. And so, you know, the big thing I would say is don't just pick the closest person that you see or the first person you talk to. Like you really need to make sure that there's a very strong relationship there. This is a long time relationship. This is a pretty private and intimate relationship. And if you and or you and your partner are not both feeling equally comfortable with someone, it might not be the right person, which is fine. It's okay to try people on. Like this is one of those industries that you definitely want to make sure, much like your business coach, that you've got one that you feel comfortable with, that you trust the advice that you're receiving and you, dare I say, get excited about those meetings. Like, I get super jacked up about money meetings and I would love if my clients came in and were also like excited to have those conversations, right?

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:35] Oh, you know, you got me thinking about those days, especially early in my business, when I would dread. So the only time I ever talked about money was at year end, and it was when the accountant would go through my books and tell me how much I owed in corporate tax and how much, you know, money we had made and what our profit margins are. And it always came, you know, you talk about getting jacked and getting excited about a financial meeting. I know at the beginning at least I never felt that way. I never felt like it was something I could get excited to talk about. So I mean just that in itself. And what I hear, even as you're talking about books and just educating yourselves, I think so many of us have been raised to not talk about money, right? It's rude. You shouldn't ask how much someone makes. It's like asking a woman how old she is. Right? We kind of like we've been raised with this idea that you just don't talk about it whether you have it or you don't. And I would even argue to say it's sometimes easier for people to talk about not having it. It's easier to talk about being broke. It's easier to talk about how hard things are and the prices are going up and everything else. But having that proactive approach and kind of educating yourself and knowing what you're doing, I think is such a big piece.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:11:50] Think about it. Like, as far as I'm concerned, it rings true with everybody. Like if there's something that you don't understand or you don't know, I would argue that most of us just avoid it, right? If don't know how to use the weed whacker, I'm not going to use it, if it scares me to use it or I don't understand how the spool comes out, I'm not going to weed whack, even though it's probably fine for me to go and weed whack, you know? And it's just, it's the same idea. If you don't understand finance, if you don't understand what's happening, it's just so much easier to avoid it. But, you know, if that's the position you're in is in avoidance, it's probably good to find someone or something to educate you. And again, if it's as simple as, you know, you listen to a good podcast or read a good book, in such, you need to understand that those will always be very blanket statements, I mean they're not going to say, Hey, Jillian, specifically, you need to do this. They're going to say, Hey, did you know that this platform does this? And then you need to figure out if that works or not. But it's what I see time and time again. The people who are uncomfortable talking about it are the people who don't understand it. And it's just easier to put some blinders on and be like, You know what? I'll be fine. I'm just going to keep going. And if I keep going, I'll be fine.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:03] Yeah. It's like I'll try to earn as much as I can, and then I just hope that that lasts me long enough.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:13:09] 100%, hope and a prayer.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:10] I'll get to my death and maybe leave a little bit behind for others. Right? So I want to go a little bit deeper. I want to like peel back the layers of the onion. And if I was to, you know, we don't get to be in those meetings. We don't get the behind the scenes look at kind of what happens in one of these meetings. But what do you think would be something, without sharing confidential information about clients or anything like that, I know that that's something you would never do, but what do you think would surprise us about the meetings that you have as you're talking about finances and whether that is with a big corporation, whether that is with someone who's, you know, maybe just starting out like you and your husband, what might surprise us?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:13:53] Two things came to mind. So one is the amount of people who have wealth, a lot of wealth, and have absolutely no idea what it's doing. So, you know, we assume that people who are wealthy or who have been successful in primarily - so I work with primarily business owners and incorporated professionals. So, you know, I've done well, my business has done well. And from the outside looking in, you think like, oh, well, they've got it all together. Like they fully understand and they know everything. And you know, these people will come in and be like, I have no clue, I have no idea. We just have done well in business. And the flip side of that is the amount of people that aren't open to sharing that, hey, even though I have wealth, I don't fully know what I'm doing. You know, I've accumulated money, but I'm not sure. And now I have either so much or I'm a certain age and I'm almost embarrassed to ask now. Like it's easy for a 20 year old to be like, Hey, I don't know what I'm doing to save. It's much harder for a 60 year old to say, Hey, I don't know what I'm doing. I, you know, I've come all this time and I've just done the best I can and it's actually done fairly well. But I don't understand what these steps are. So that's a big part of it, is just this common misconception that, you know, just because someone's accumulated wealth that they have, like all the inner workings and the knowledge of of money and how it works. And that you can't ask, like it's never... Money is so fluid. The investment structure, the tax structure, everything that's happening changes so often that there's no shame in not understanding. Like I have a full time job because it changes so often. And I need to understand, right? There's no way you can expect that you would also know that on top of whatever it is you're an expert at. The other part is just how much of it is psychology, you know, and it came back to that for me. It's the emotions behind it. I spend very, very, very little time talking about like the fundamentals of finance and interest rates and rates of all kinds. And I spend an awful lot of time talking about how do you feel about this? Do you understand what it means? Are you sleeping at night? You know, what are your goals? What are your dreams? What are the big things you're trying to achieve? Why are you working so hard every day? Right? And this is the question I ask myself all the time.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:16:14] Why? Why are you working so hard every day? And when I have my big goals and my visions and I know and I understand and I understand monetarily what it takes to get there, then I can match my emotional energy with that and say, okay, I know I have to do these things so that I can achieve these goals that I'm pushing for, but now I have a nominal value to it, which a lot of people I find, that's where the disconnect comes. So yes, I want to buy a cottage for my kids or I want to make sure that they can be in that best hockey camp that exists or that we go on big family vacations every year, or that I'm leaving an estate and they don't have to worry about it. But very few people understand like, okay, but what's that number? What does that look like? So you just keep going and going and going and maybe you're working too much, maybe you're aiming too high, maybe not. Maybe you could have taken a rest three weeks ago instead of like, you know, continuing to go. So a lot of it is just coaching to the emotional side of things and knowing that not everybody reacts the same way. So it's really common for me in my practice to see that partners don't align perfectly with their finances and their financial vehicles, I'll say.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:17:26] Not the goals. They'll have the same goal in mind. So let's say like Mason and I, we want the same end goal. I happen to be very aggressive in the ways I'm going to take to get there because I understand it and I like it and I'm just a risk taker naturally, he's pretty conservative. And so we can do two different things and our money can work different ways and we can invest different ways and we can do different things. But we know that we're working towards the same end goal. And that's a lot of the conversation too, because a lot of times, you know, clients butt heads over money. It's one of the most common reasons why we get divorced, right? Is money arguments. And so it's often a disconnect in well, why? Why are we doing this? What are we working towards? What are we trying to achieve from this? And if can facilitate that conversation and add just some hopefully fairly simple tips and tricks to achieve it, I hope that that can alleviate a lot of stress in a relationship to just focus on the cool end goal that we want and and take some steps to get there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:24] You know, it's interesting. I have just been having this thought that with so many of our arguments being about money, and I was listening to a podcast just last week and I had a bit of a tense moment when I was listening to it because it was a podcast around building wealth. And they said the number one thing that you can do if you want to build wealth is marry well. And he went on to actually say, if you are a spender and you marry a spender, you are headed for demise. That you will not be wealthy, that if you are a spender, you need to actively look for a partner who is more of a saver so that you can balance each other out. And I remember thinking like, Well, shouldn't we just marry for love? Shouldn't we just. But no.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:14] As I'm listening to you talk, I'm like, oh, my goodness. It makes sense because this the psychology of it and how we react to money, what it means in our lives, how we spend it, how we save. It says so much more than just about a financial plan, but it really is about that relationship and what we believe about ourselves. And it got me also reflecting, as you were talking about. Whether it's partners or. The time of life that we're living in. You know, you talk about what do I want my my money to give to me? What do I want to leave? What do I want to have it contribute to my life? And I think in my own life, when I think about my grandparents who lived through the Great Depression, who, you know, they were in the war times.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:03] I remember almost teasing my grandfather because he would straighten nails when they were renovating their basement. He spent hours doing it and he would save seeds from his garden for the next year. You know, he was just he was very frugal. And we would kind of almost tease him about it, not understanding that that wasn't something that he took lightly at all. He was designed to be a saver because he knew what it was like to go without. And then when I think of my parents being raised by the generation that literally didn't have enough, they really had to scrimp and save. They were kind of the generation that went okay, like make sure you get a job that has benefits and make sure you have, you know, stability and you have your RRSPs and your your financial plan is set up for security, not risk. And I think that there's this kind of generational pattern. And now that my kids, I hate to admit it, but they're getting to be young adults. And when I look back and I think, okay, so I don't manage money the same way that my grandparents or my parents did. The way that my husband's grandparents or parents did. You know, we're doing it a little bit differently, but now I'm starting to think about, okay, so what are the money beliefs that I'm passing on to my kids that might not suit them either? And I'm curious if you were to think of like just some basic money habits that you would suggest for this next generation of 20 somethings of just developing good habits, what would you tell them?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:21:46] Yeah, I mean, it's interesting just to take your note away, just a small second, is like it is, it's, you know, our grandparents lived through the Great Depression. Like, if you didn't have money, you didn't have money. Our parents were introduced to debt for the first time, and all of a sudden you could have all this free money, like you could just borrow whatever, you know, and for the first time ever. And then we've taken that on to say, okay, but how do I not over borrow, but also not, you know, just squander away what I have. And now and again, like I said earlier, I mean, money's changing so fast. Like once upon a time, not all that long ago, I took my paycheck to the bank and cashed it and took money away. And now kids, like, literally, I can give an allowance on my phone by tapping like a ding button for things getting done. Like money is changing so fast. So my first piece of advice is, and this is a hard one to say, but don't always listen to your parents or the seniors in your life because it's just different, right? It's different than it was. And not to say that they don't have your best interests in mind, but the way money works has changed an awful lot. And the availability and the kind of investments that are there now are so different from 5 years ago, let alone 15, 20, 30, 50.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:23:04] So, you know, some of the fundamentals might still be there. Don't spend more than you make, probably good you know. You know, don't get yourself up to your eyeballs in debt probably a good one. But when it comes to the like bones of what investing looks like, I find it really beneficial to speak to my peers about it, to speak to my friends, to speak to people. And it goes back to your point before like, Oh, we don't talk about money. It's so important to talk about money because we're all living the same thing, right? Like we're doing it in the same time the same way. So I just think it's really interesting. But yeah, I mean, some of the takeaways for kids, um, it's getting easier for, I don't know how to say this the right way, for kids to make money in weird to us ways. So you can just start like a YouTube channel and make $1 million when you're 12. Like it just is mind blowing. Or you can record yourself playing video games and make like literally hundreds of thousands of dollars a month. So there are more and more avenues for children to make money. Don't stifle those, right? Like this is, I don't understand it, I don't understand it for a second and I don't know why it would ever be. And I'm not saying like, set your kid up with a TikTok and make them famous, but these are jobs now. These are ways to make money. And then when they start making money, like kids are making money a lot younger now, you know, just getting jobs in different ways, just teach them some of the fundamentals for it. So like a good rule that I like to follow, especially with with younger folk, is so like a third, a third, a third. So I save a third for something that I want later. I have a third to spend on stuff I want now, and a third is for any kind of like debt servicing or whatnot. So I can't get a car or a home or a loan or anything that is going to cost more than my third of my income. Sorry, I should have said that. So when I make a certain amount of money, a third, a third, a third. And so if we can start that even just young. So if, you know, if our kids are getting $100 allowance, I don't know what allowance goes for these days, but let's just say it's 100 bucks.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:09] That's a good allowance.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:25:10] Is that a good allowance? I was like, I'm probably being really cheap.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:13] I guess it depends if it's like weekly or monthly or, you know.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:25:17] Who knows, right? So, you know, if you then take that and say, okay, I'm going to put $33 towards whatever I owe or something I intend to owe on, like I want a car or my tuition or sports teams like that's expensive. Don't just depend on your parents for that, right? Like, if you want to be in it, be in it. And to be honest with you, from the other side of things, I see RRSPs and kids going to school all the time and the children who make the most of it, just as a generalization, are kids who also had to put their money into their own education. So when you get a free ride through school, you don't take it as seriously because you didn't pay for it. Right? So it's easier to, you know, maybe not take it as seriously or do the full four years of something that you hate because, well, whatever, you know, it's being paid for anyways versus when some of their money's in it, I mean, that's their money. There's no messing around, right? This is, it changes the dynamic a lot. And so I say the same for sports.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:26:16] I mean, if kids are in a $10,000 a year sport, put some skin in the game, even if it's a bit. Buy your own skates, buy your own sticks, whatever the case is, but put some skin in the game to show like how serious you are about it because it's also part of what life looks like when you're an adult. If I want something, I'm ponying up for it, right? And I think parents carry a lot of guilt about like, oh, I have to provide everything for my kid. No, you don't. You know, life's expensive and yes, is it nice? Yes, it's lovely. And is it a terrible thing to do? No. I don't want to talk anybody out of it. I'm just saying I see it time and time and time again where kids get further when they are also monetarily involved with it because they've had to bust their butt to get whatever that $500 stick costs like that was two weeks of work. Maybe I'm not going to just throw it in the garage when I get home haphazardly, right?

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:07] Yeah, I'm having a moment because I love how we shine light on our own beliefs and I love talking to people who think differently than I do because it allows me to kind of look at things differently. I just realized as you were talking that I had a belief that the only time that kids ever contribute to their own education, to their own sports, to their own clothing, whatever it is, is when the family is struggling. It's an old belief. But now what I hear and as I'm listening to you talk, I'm like, oh my gosh, we are setting up future entrepreneurs and business owners because one of the things we know about entrepreneurship is the most successful people are the ones who can delay gratification. So when we're taking that third and saying, I'm going to save this even if I don't have current debt. But I want it for the future. So I'm going to save towards the car, the tuition, the, you know, the business launch. When we introduce that mindset when they're really young and they start to understand that, I'm developing these habits, because I think so often we think that, Oh, the kids who have their education paid for, Oh, the kids who get all the best opportunities at the private schools and the great sports teams, and they get all of these things because they come from wealth, that they have a step up. And what I hear you saying is, no, no, it actually has nothing to do with money. It has to do with what is the mindset behind it in how you utilize the money to create the life that you want.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:28:44] And I mean taking away some of the entitlement of it. Right? And it's what life is. The second you're an adult, if you want something, you have to pay for it. So why would you not integrate that young? I mean, how much more successful can you make your child than teaching them from a really young age that if we want something, we have to pay for it and I'll match your 20% with 80%, but there's got to be something, right? And then there's more responsibility, pride of ownership, you know, just care given towards these things when it happens that way. Like I remember very openly, my parents bought me my first car. It was a 1990 hatchback Civic, leaked oil everywhere. And like it was good. I drove it hard. I was tough on that vehicle. And then the next one I bought, you better believe I did like ten kilometers an hour. And I buffed it every weekend. And it was the cleanest thing you could imagine. It was my car. I bought that. Right? And so if from a young age we can just show the value in it and how good it feels to have these things because you worked for it, right? And then, yes, we're raising the next generation of entrepreneurs and adults that are responsible with money. And then, dare I say you add a tiny touch of like philanthropy into that saying, hey, we're probably also very fortunate. So what happens if we gave a little bit away? What does that do? What does that look like? And, you know, add that into the mix and you're creating a really, really well rounded financial situation from a very young age.

Kari Lotzien: [00:30:20] This almost ties in to where I want to where I want to lead for the next part of the conversation. When I first met you, I remember so clearly. So we met, Jillian and I met at a networking event and I was feeling a little bit out of my element. These were all people that I didn't know, walked into this room, listened to her speak, and she spoke just like she is today. She's confident. She's got it together. She's just this image of what a successful woman in business looks like. And I thought, Ooh, I want to know her. But I was a little bit intimidated. And I think very quickly, I think maybe even in that same meeting, you talked as eloquently about some of the projects that you were giving back to, how you were contributing huge not only financial resources, but huge time and energy to creating events to help support the homeless in your community and I know that you give back to multiple different organizations, women who are getting back into the business world and having resources, clothing, to just be able to go to those interviews and feel confident. I just see this really beautiful blend. And one of the things that has driven my business and wanting to support especially females in entrepreneurship, is that I believe that when good people who have incredible values, who want to make the world a better place, when they are successful in business we all benefit. That there's this sense of I am not only going to develop my own wealth, but I'm going to develop more wealth in my community and more stability. And I just, I love how you have described that even with our kids and how you're building that in so young. Can you talk a little bit is that how you were raised? Was that a part of your background? Is that something you've developed over time? Like how did how did that come to you?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:32:32] 100% I was raised that way. So my dad was from a very, very poor family when he was young, and so he was homeless for a while. And he taught me from a really young age the value of money and the value of treating people the same regardless of money. So it was a really big lesson. And not just like said it once or twice, like my dad lived it. He turned our garage into a food bank, like our car garage into a food bank, and people were able to come and take food from it. And I'm from Toronto originally, and every every winter he would take coats and mittens and hats and and warmers packages out to homeless, and he would just hand them out on the streets. And, you know, it's just when you're fortunate, you just you have to give back in some capacity. And I'm not saying everybody needs to be, you know, Saint Terry like my dad. But, you know, taking some time to recognize, like sometimes things are hard and it doesn't feel good and you're stressed out and life's challenging. But when you take that step away to recognize like, boy, am I fortunate and then reengage, right? And how good does it feel to just give back? Buy the person in line behind you their coffee, like, you know, it doesn't need to be big things but like it feels good. It feels good to do. And then you go into your day a different way. And even if you just wake up with some gratitude and you go to bed with some gratitude, like running a business is hard. Life is hard. Kids are hard, Family is hard. Like it's hard. And we can get caught up in that pretty quickly.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:34:05] Or you can recognize how fortunate we are to live in a country that we can run our business, that we're women that can run businesses, that can have freedom of speech, that can, you know, like 50 years ago in finance, I'd get laughed out of a room, right? Like it wouldn't have happened. Fast forward to now. And I mean, it's just common place, right? So just being fortunate that or grateful for the fortune that we have and and teaching, you know, ourselves, our families, our communities just a little bit, you know, and it's you hear these things like, well, I'm just one person, how much can I do? Well, imagine every person, every person in the whole world did one thing, one thing. Imagine that change, right? Like and so that's how I just have to think about it. What's the one thing I can do today? And even though I'm beat down and I'm tired and I'm running behind and I've had 17 meetings, who can I do something nice for? And it could be a message. It could be a text saying, Hey, Kari, I think you're awesome, you know? And how does that change my day and how does that change your day? And I think it's just, it's something that's so important to integrate into life. And then honestly, one of the easier ways to do it is with money. It's quick, it's easy. Drop some money in the Salvation Army thing at Christmas, adopt a family or mustard seed school lunch program. I mean, there's so many ways to give back that take no longer than you spend going through Instagram to see whatever cool trends are happening today. Right?

Kari Lotzien: [00:35:34] Yeah. Two things I think about when you talk about that is, one, I've often said I think that service is one of the most selfish acts because it boomerangs so quickly. You can be having that rotten day. You can be feeling kind of down in the dumps and as soon as you send that text message, as soon as you think about someone else and consciously make an action to make their life better. It rebounds back to you and you feel better almost instantly. And I think we just have to get in the habit of that. The other thing that I wanted to draw attention to is, as you talk about your story and I think of that first time that I saw you in the networking meeting and I see this, you know, just well put together, very successful woman who just portrays confidence. And I think that so often, especially as women in business, you talk about being relatively new to the game, right, as a female in a financial planning industry that we kind of just got here. And to take our space at the table, I think a lot of times as women we tend to put on this like I've got it all together mask. We do our hair, we wear the clothes, but we don't often allow the more vulnerable side.

Kari Lotzien: [00:36:59] We don't talk about where we came from. We don't talk about our background or the fact that, you know, our kid was throwing up this morning and then we had to try and find childcare because we had that really important contract to land and that we're juggling all of the things. I think we tend to kind of compartmentalize and I think it's hurting us. I remember in our friendship developing how there was this awkwardness and it almost feels like you're dating for the first time. But there was a piece of me that knew like I had my friends from, you know, my childhood, my young adult friends, and most of them don't own businesses. And then I had kind of my business friends who were clients and colleagues and, you know, and I didn't know how to move from business relationship to could we potentially be friends and what might that look like and how awkward that is? And I think that this is something I just want to dive into the conversation with you about. How have you found that as someone who is kind of perceived as being successful in your industry, how has that affected your friendships? Or is this something you've just like mastered?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:38:13] No. I mean, the one thing I would say is I'm just I'm always a very open book. You know, I tried it first because I was really intimidated about being a female in this industry, and, you know, the judgment and whatnot would come and and I have to say, about 90% of it was in my head and 10% of it was legitimate. There's still definitely some some room to grow. But I thought I had to just like be this really poised, perfect, like show up like a total boss. And that's what would, you know, get me further and gain respect and do whatever. And then honestly, it was when my dad got sick, I was like, I'm a human being struggling to, you know, deal with a dying family member and a business and a life and all of this stuff. And I just started telling the truth and I just started sharing and I started being me and my business exploded. Because I was no longer this, like, intimidating, poised, must be nice being perfect gal. I was a human who has knowledge in a specific area, and as soon as I approach friendships that way, much like with you, I just am open to it. Right? I'm just, I'm a human, here's my story, this is what I like, this is what I suck at. Also, I'm really good with money, you know? And then I find you and you're like, I'm awesome, I'm a great coach, everything's good. But we click and we're good. And I think so long as you have that mutual respect of understanding, like, yes, I have a business, and for you and I, yes, we do business together, but there's also an outside of that and making sure that we just have the mutual respect of the human side.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:40:01] Yes, I'm a human and not every day is going to be perfect. But you know that I will show up with everything I have. You know, that's what you know. And even if it's not perfect, you know me as that. And so I think it's really important to just be real and I was sharing with you the other day a story, if I can, quickly. So we have a bunch of different partners with my practice and I had a lovely young woman come in who's like a portfolio wizard. She's through Western Canada and she's like, If you don't know something about the actual like, specifics to a financial portfolio, she knows everything. So she was coming in to my office, first time meeting her and was like, Oh, I'm kind of, you know, intimidated by this woman. Like she knows so much and there's so much that I don't know. And, you know, do I ask the dumb questions and yada, yada, yada. So she comes in, she sits down and we're talking for a few minutes. And I keep seeing that she's like like winking, kind of flitting her eye and was like, I mean, do I say something? Do I not? And, you know, I finally said like, hey, if you like, if you need a minute, I'm like, sorry, but like, if you have a contact out of place or something in your eye, like you can take a minute because she's trying to like talk through this twitch happening, right? And so--.

Kari Lotzien: [00:41:12] Because we've all been there, right?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:41:13] Yeah. And I'm trying to stay, like, perfect. Like, just be perfect. Just be perfect. Right? And so she was like, gosh, I'm so sorry. Like, so embarrassing. I've had this, like, pain in my eye. And so we just talked. We just talked about like, being a human being for a few minutes and talked about like, health and how we neglect our health because why would we take care of ourselves as women in business and all of the things? And it just completely eased the situation. And then our business conversation was awesome because we just, in a short period of time, we just built the trust and we built the relationship as people, as people just caring about each other and just having an honest and vulnerable conversation. And then it made the rest of it really easy. And I asked the stupid questions without feeling stupid because we built that bond and it was short. But I mean, imagine that that's just what we did in life.

Kari Lotzien: [00:42:10] You know, I think this is something even with you and I, like I do think it's different, because we're not only business colleagues and friends, but we're also clients of each other. And we often have conversations where we've just opened that up to say, okay, so I'm going to open up my financials to you, but then I'll give you that little bit of so the little voice inside of my head is saying, I'm not of the caliber that, you know, I don't have enough to be working with you or, you know, why would I take advice from a business coach who, you know, is running her own finances like that? Right? All those little - and I'm not even saying that that's the truth - but those doubts in my own mind and how, you know, we've done that both ways where we've said, okay, so I'm not actually sure, is this a business conversation or is this a friend conversation? And there's times where we'll even as we're, you know, texting each other or calling each other, where we'll just highlight that, I'm not sure where this should go. Should I be paying for this conversation? Should we be booking an official meeting and going through my portfolio or should we be, you know, cutting out some time to talk about the specific challenge at work? And I think that it almost just gives space or shines light on, Okay. I'm not really sure how to do this part because it seems kind of messy and then we sort it out together.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:43:33] Yeah. And I think, again, it comes back to open communication, right? Like, I don't know the amount of times that I'll like text or call and say, Hey, business question, I need a coach, I need my coach versus like, Hey, I need my friend versus, Hey, I'm calling you as your advisor, you know, and just titling it and knowing that that's okay. It's okay to have titles. It's okay that you and I have three different roles to one another, and we're really blessed and fortunate that we can interwork those, but we both understand it and respect it. So like, I'm never going to call you on the weekend with a coaching problem and you'll never call me on the weekend with a financials problem, but I might call you on the weekend as a friend and be like, Hey, do you want to go for a coffee? Right? And so just understanding, like, the boundaries, setting those boundaries and being honest about those boundaries with one another, right? And just saying, Hey, this is when I take business stuff and it stresses me out to do it on the weekend. And you'd be like, Cool, I will not contact you. Or vice versa. So, you know, just I think it's a unique thing to have those friendships. But if you can find them and you can label the different sections of it and then just stay in your lane, right, of what that is at that point in time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:44:41] Yeah, I'd love to say I don't think it's always quite that clean either. Like I think to highlight this is something we've really worked at over time. And in different friendships to say, okay, you know, how are we navigating this or this certain project that we're working on together? Or what does that look like? And I think it also takes huge investment. It's like a marriage. You need to be able to kind of sit in it and give voice to how you're feeling and kind of where the messy parts are and to navigate that together. Because I think the other thing that I want to just highlight, I don't know, I want to say that it happens more in female friendships, but I'm not sure. I have heard that your clients will become your friends far faster than your friends will become your clients. That our friends almost like want to put us in this particular box and they almost maybe feel, I don't know if it's they feel threatened, they feel that there's not going to be that confidentiality or I don't know what it is, but it can be really difficult, especially because I think as a start up business, when you're kind of hoping or relying on your friends becoming your clients because you need somebody to believe in you or someone to support you, and when that doesn't happen, it can, I think, damage friendships and relationships because then you don't feel supported in your business. I don't know. Can you talk about like just how have you experienced that? Is that?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:46:09] Yeah. No, I agree with you 100%. And honestly, you and I were even the same way. We worked together and then became friends because of it. And that's way easier, right? We like each other. But it wasn't that we liked each other that caused business to happen. I saw a lot of value in you as a coach and I said, Okay, well, this is someone I need. I've had a coach of some capacity for the better part of a decade and I saw a really great fit with you. And then it developed from there, right? And so I think it's the same. I mean, I remember I started my practice again almost a decade ago and, you know, yeah, you're leaning into those people, but it's like it is, it's the what ifs in your head. Well, what if, like, if I show her my cards, like, what does that look like? And is there judgment and is it shared and all of this stuff. And what I would say is go back to my previous comment of I'm really vulnerable in those meetings, too. I'm really vulnerable in those places. I share a lot, probably too much, you know, but what I'm doing is saying I'm no better or worse. You're no better or worse. We're people getting through this journey together and I have a specific knowledge that will help you and you have a specific knowledge that helps me, and that's that.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:47:22] And so I think it's when you're sitting with someone where that comfort isn't necessarily there the same way, or you're trying to just be the perfect put together, everything's awesome, I'm great. And then they're like, also my money situation is terrible and I think I'm going to leave my partner. And you're like, Oh, you know, it's, that's tough. And most people will avoid that. But if you can share, I mean, I tell the story about my dad all the time, with their permission, that was huge for like so many reasons. That was a massive family event. And as soon as you share something about yourself, people, it's calm, right? It's at ease. It's more of a conversation than like, spill your dirty secrets. And so, you know, when we're first starting in business, we want to come across as the I have it all together, I know it all. But I truly do believe that there is a lot of power in vulnerability. And just saying, you know, I'm also struggling or I have struggled with this or this is a challenge for me or, you know, can I share my story with you? And then you just build relationship in it from truth.

Kari Lotzien: [00:48:28] It's wild. You know, when you think about just like we have to practice being human. We have to practice just not putting on the brave face all the time and projecting that image of perfection that makes us really unapproachable.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:48:42] Well, and think about the world we're in right now, right? Like, I don't open my Instagram up and put what I look like at 7 a.m. I put my oh, here I am in my suit and my perfect day and my perfect world. You don't see the other side of it. This is what we're conditioned to do right now, unfortunately, in our society. And so I think the strongest way to build a relationship and to build trust is to get that out and just say, hey, I'm also just a human. I'm just here. I'm here for the ride. And again, I know something you don't, you know something I don't, that doesn't make anybody any better or worse. It's just we've learned different things.

Kari Lotzien: [00:49:16] You know, and tying into that, I think that in my experience, I've been in this entrepreneur journey for a while now. And for me, I mean, I'm just pushing past two decades and I think there are stages to this too, that I think at the beginning you need that kind of hustle and grind and you push and you try to put your best foot forward and, you know, fake it till you make it kind of idea. But I think that something that I'm really seeing is that entrepreneurs who have achieved a certain level of success, they've done the grit, the grind. They've they've gone through life experiences, you know, whether it's having kids or being worried about loved ones or going through huge financial shifts, roller coasters in the industry, that when you've been through that, there's a certain level of just wisdom I think, that comes with it, where you can show up in a place that isn't oversharing, it's not, you know, projecting the perfection. But you can sit in this dance in the middle where you're approachable, but there's almost a sense of trust. And now I know that I can open up to you because you've been there. And something that I've seen online in my groups of people who are incredibly successful, right? So I mean they're running multi-billion dollar businesses that we're starting to see more people in business open up about mental health, about anxiety and different diagnoses to say, you know, I can be all of this and also have this other side to me.

Kari Lotzien: [00:50:54] And I know for myself something that I have felt has been both my weakness and my strength, I've lived with anxiety my whole life. I really care about what other people think. I overthink sometimes to a fault and I'll get in my own way. And I think that when I was leading a team, especially, I would hide that because I would think, well, if I'm anxious and I'm leading a team that's going to make them anxious, so I shall lock that up and never show them. And it wasn't until, you know, later on where I kind of went, okay, I can start to show my cards, as you would talk about. But you and I have also had a lot of conversations about what this has been in your life as well. And do you want to kind of chat about that a little bit?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:51:39] Yeah, no, I'm good. So I'm probably a month into an ADHD diagnosis, which now that I know what it is, makes perfect sense. Perfect sense, you know? And so it was something I really didn't know about. It wasn't on my radar. It had never been suspected before. My family was really surprised about it, like it just kind of a left fielder. But when I started to understand what it was, I was like, Yeah, this is everything. And then I went into full panic, full panic mode because I was like, Oh my God, am I only successful because of this? Because I can multitask everything because I'm bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing all over the place. Right? And then I went into panic being like, what happens if I fix, fix, quote unquote this? Or then, like, my step further being like, well, then who am I? Like, who am I fundamentally, if I thought this was who I was, I thought I was this hyper achiever, I thought I was all this stuff. So I'm, like I said, about a month into some just like big, deep discovery. And so one of the things that my doctor had me do was an Enneagram personality test, which I thought was really neat and just kind of get to the core of like, who are you? Who are you? What are your fundamentals like? Where do you show up in the world? And then on top of that mix in, you know, a brain that's kind of here, there and everywhere.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:52:59] And how is that a detriment and how is it a benefit and what does this look like for you? So it's been really interesting to to learn about. And then open up about. I mean, again, I'm an open book with people and I instantly shared. I shared because it's my way of coping. I shared because it's my way of learning. You know, that was the biggest thing with my dad's cancer. The second I started talking about it, everybody has cancer, like everybody has a cancer story somehow, somewhere. Right? And it wasn't anything negative or - you know what I mean, it's not, of course it's negative - but like, you bond with people through this, through this disease or through whatever, right? So I was like, well, I have ADHD and threw my hand up in the air and instantly had multiple women in my circle be like, Yep. And so we're business owners. We're moms. You know, we're just go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And all of us are fairly recently diagnosed, whether it's trending or they're paying attention or it's just coming out at this point in time, who knows? But to all of a sudden have this circle where I can sit and be like, I can't finish a thing without doing 17 other things that I probably also don't finish and have somebody else say like, Yep, gotcha.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:54:19] And know that, right, because it's challenging. Like, like in your previous podcast, you have to have a cheerleader. My husband's my cheerleader all day, all day, everything I do, he's my guy. Until I half job something, and I've been half job Jill for ten years to him because he doesn't understand. He doesn't know. So he can't be my cheerleader for this because he does not understand what I'm dealing with and what I'm going through. And that's okay because he's supportive of it. He just doesn't understand it. So now I'm regrouping this pile of friends who are very similar in what we believe in and what we're doing and what our lives look like. But we also have this challenge and learning how to navigate this challenge together. And it's been awesome. It's been like the most amazing learning experience and, again, bettering relationships, bettering my situation in myself and my family and my community and my business, because I understand and I know I'm not alone in it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:55:17] Mm hmm. Oh, that's beautiful. And the reason I bring it up is not just to Hey, Jillian, let's talk about your ADHD diagnosis. But what I wanted my listeners to hear is that you have achieved what we would call that proverbial level of success. You are a kind person who is giving back and who has such huge empathy. And this is a part of your life the same way that I used to think that my anxiety was just such a detriment. And it was something that I felt like I battled. I wanted to just get rid of it. I wish, you know, who would I be if I didn't have this tagging along beside me? And I heard a quote from Liz Gilbert who wrote Big Magic, I don't know if you've read that book, but she talked about that idea of conquering. So she talked about, you know, someone who said to her, How did you conquer your fear? How did you overcome it? And she said, Oh, I didn't conquer it. I didn't battle it. Right? So you're not battling ADHD. I'm not battling my anxiety or conquering my anxiety. She said, I took it by the hand and I walk with it and I go, okay, okay. So I hear you, I see that you are getting very worked up right now, you are very worried. But we're just going to a lunch. These are probably going to be nice people. And I imagine now just how I would talk to a child who is really anxious, I wouldn't be so nasty. I wouldn't say, you know, come on, you need to overcome that. You need to battle it, let's go. This same way you're walking with, you know, this way that your brain works that allows you to be very, you know, focused on a lot of opportunities and allows you to be really engaged with things, but sometimes also means that things don't get done that you have the greatest intention to do. And instead of beating yourself up or conquering it.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:57:23] 100% and just having the grace with yourself in whatever that situation is, right? To just be like, okay, this is happening. And like it or not, this is the way today is going to go. So I can be mad about it or I can just go with it, you know? And yeah, from day one, I never ever saw it as a negative. I can definitely see why some people would think it was a negative, but it's just such a normal part of my life that was always like, I'm okay. It explains a lot, an awful lot and it helps me understand an awful lot. And now there's definitely a lot of literature and science that can lean into to continue to develop and grow, which is kind of cool because I just thought that, I just thought everybody thought this way. I just thought that this is the way people thought and that my husband was lazy. You know, it's literally like--

Kari Lotzien: [00:58:15] We've had this conversation.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:58:17] Yeah. I'm like, you just suck.

Kari Lotzien: [00:58:19] Why do you go so slow?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:58:21] Yeah, like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Why can't we all go, like, always be achieving, always be doing. And he's like, Why can't you sit and read a book? And it's like, because I want to scratch my skin off if I sit for 30 minutes. I can't, right, until I learned why. And so it's yeah, it's been a really honestly magical journey to just understand, to open up a whole new network of people who are in the same shoes, who understand the same way, who I can send a one-off text to, to be like, Hey, I did this today or whatever, right? And like, we can laugh about it and go on because you can't change it and you can't fight it, you can't conquer it, so you might as well embrace it. This is a part of who you are, good, bad and different, and use it as your superpower. Right? You can use these things to grow. You can use this to push and become the absolute best version of yourself. And I would hate to see myself without ADHD, honestly. It's just hard sometimes.

Kari Lotzien: [00:59:17] Yeah, you can't just separate it out or medicate it out, right? That's not quite how it works.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:59:22] Yeah.

Kari Lotzien: [00:59:23] Thank you so much for having this conversation with me. I have just enjoyed every minute. I like to close my podcasts with just one question. When you think about all the things that you are building in your life, your dreams, your goals, your family, all of the things. How do you stay anchored? What makes you feel focused, calm, stable?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:59:50] My first answer is you. Which I'm sure wasn't meant to be a plug.

Kari Lotzien: [00:59:54] I honestly didn't plan that, guys. I didn't, there's no money being passed or bribes.

Jillian Vukovich: [01:00:02] I'll take my $20 later. No, it is, it's having strong resources in my life, and you are honestly one of them. And having those people that no matter what's going on that day or how I'm showing up, I know I can lean into to just be authentically myself. That's what keeps me going. That's what keeps me pushing every day. Some days are really easy and some days are really hard. But knowing that I have, you know, a handful of people in my life that regardless of how I show up, are there for me, is my motivator. It's what pushes me and allows me to keep going. And so absolutely, it's just having a tribe. Right?

Kari Lotzien: [01:00:46] Thank you so much for being here. I have just so enjoyed this podcast. If you want to contact Jillian, you can find her contact information in the show notes. Be sure to reach out and don't forget to like and subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode. Thanks for being here.

Kari Lotzien: [01:01:08] Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers. But deep down, you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

05 - Build an Advisory Board for Your Life

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 26 Sep 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Have you considered the benefits of developing an advisory board for your life? Advisory boards offer different perspectives on aspects of your business and daily life. They’re very useful. In this episode I’m talking about the different types of people who comprise an advisory board and how each can help guide you.

I identify six roles for a life advisory board. Individual people who bring visionary ideas, encouragement, practical solutions, integration of logical planning, mentorship, and full stop truth telling into play when you need it. One person can’t be everything to you but an advisory board can fill all the roles you need.

I’m going to explain who these people should be, how well they should know you, and how to find them. You’ll also be part of an advisory board to others in your life, so take time to figure out your own strengths and abilities. It works both ways!

Key Moments

1:22 What is an advisory board?

4:04 Breaking down all six of the roles you need

13:39 How to interview for those positions in your life

Who do you turn to for encouragement?
Who are the mentors who help you focus on priorities?
Advisory boards shine a light on blind spots in the business world, that’s what they will do for you too

Resources discussed in this episode:

Anchored Leadership group coaching

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello and welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach, Kari Lotzien. So glad you're here. Today, I want to talk to you about developing an advisory board for your life. Now, if you haven't heard about what an advisory board is or you haven't heard that term before, let me tell you, an advisory board is typically, within an organization or a large company, they are hand-selected and then targeted for the expertise that they can bring to a team to help fill in knowledge gaps so they can help you to break into new markets or industries. They're just there for consultation, so they actually don't have what we would call voting rights like a board of directors in a company.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:56] Now, what does that have to do with life? I think that it is critical to develop your own advisory board for your life. These are a group of people just like an advisory board in a corporation that you get to hand select, that you get to build your own group that helps to be the advisors for your life. Now let's back up because many of us have family and spouses and partners and kids, employees, friends, all kinds of people who truly care about us, who are connected to our lives and truly do want what's best for us. But sometimes those relationships may have developed years ago and those people might not completely understand the goals that you have in your life right now, the things that you're ready to just let go of. Have you ever experienced someone saying to you, Oh my gosh, well, I know that you're such a this type of person, or I know that you're really good at this and you kind of cringe and go, That is just not who I am anymore. Right? This might be, you know, sometimes we run into a friend from high school or university and they'll say something and it's like, Oh, that is just, that's not who I am. Well, the same thing can happen with friendships and family members that they just don't really know or aren't aligned with where we want to be right now. Now, this doesn't mean that you need to cut those relationships or that you need to cut those people off. They can still hold a very important role in your life. This is about developing something different, like an advisory board. I feel that there are six roles in developing this team, and when you do it strategically, which I have done, it makes crazy impact on your life. Now, these are the roles.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:04] Number one. The cheerleader. This is the person that just believes in you. They adore you. They are willing to be that person that when you are starting to doubt yourself or you're having kind of that schlumpy hard day, will be the person that goes, You've got this. I know you can do it. You've done it before. I've seen you fricking rock this. Push in. You can do it. And they are there on the sidelines just believing in you. We know that being around those people just feels good. Having cheerleaders is a critical piece. And I think a lot of us have these people in our lives. I can tell you I have a couple of them. So I have people that are just there. They just believe in me. But they're not the ones who I rely on when I need to have hard conversations or really difficult feedback or they're not the ones that I rely on when I want to really dig into an idea because that's not their strong suit. The other thing with an advisory board is we need to be really cautious that we don't look to one person to serve all of our positions. Many of us want this in our partners, in our best friends, in our spouses. We need to be really cautious of this because when we put too many roles on one person, it starts to feel like too much pressure for them. So when we divide it out, it can often work so much more easily. So the first one is cheerleader.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:34] The second one is someone who is a visionary. This is the person who just loves to dream with you. They might be in the same industry as you. They might have similar interests to you or not, but they have a natural mindset where they can think big. What meetings or coffee or lunch with this person sounds like is you say, Oh, you know, I've been kind of thinking about starting a new business. I've been kind of thinking, maybe I want to take this new course and learn how to do pottery. I maybe want to learn how to paint watercolors. I want to take a course because I think I'd like to try climbing a mountain next summer. And this person goes, Oh yeah, that's amazing. And you know what else you could do with that? I was thinking about this, and they just build on your idea. This is the person who is so good at planting a seed and then just seeing what it could become as a full garden of possibility. This person tends to be a little bit higher energy. They are still very positive, but they're not the person that you're going to rely on to analyze how viable those things are. They're not the one that is going to go into all of the steps involved. Where is there a course? How can we do this? What do we need to do to set up all the individual pieces? They're just the person that allows your mind to explode with possibility.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:01] INSERT TAKE 2 Which leads me to the third person on your advisory board, which is what I would call the integrator. This is the person who is really good at strategy and logic. They're the ones that can take that big idea, once you've decided I really want to take my chance on this, and they say, Okay let's break it down. Where do we go? What do we need? What are the steps involved? How are we going to get there? And they put it into a step by step format. That person has, again, a very different role. If you rely on someone who is more of that strategy, logic, integrator personality, and what you're hoping from them is that they are your cheerleader, this is the person that sometimes if we're needing reassurance or if we're wanting to just explore a big idea and we are looking for them to be our cheerleader or the partner visionary, when we ask this person, it can sound almost like they don't believe in us. That they just make things hard and they ask us the hard questions and, well, how are you going to do that? And where do you find? And it's almost like they put the brakes on the plan before the plan gets started. But this person is still very necessary in integrating one step to another. I can tell you, naturally I'm a great visionary. I love thinking of 42 ideas of what we could do in a business. My natural tendency, I'm not as strong, especially in my own business, on the strategy, logic and integration side. I don't really like to break things down into really small steps to think about, okay, I need to do this and then this and then this. Often when I go into that, I get kind of deflated and it starts to feel hard and it starts to feel like too much. Someone who's really good in this role will be able to show you the step by step progress that you can make towards your goal without it feeling like they're kind of putting the water on your fire.(INSERT TAKE They're helping you to align it, but you want to utilize that person in the way that that's their kryptonite, that's their strength, is breaking those things down.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:17] The next person you want on your advisory board. Number four is the expert or the mentor. This is someone who has gone before you, someone who has climbed that mountain, who has taken that course, who's developed that business. This person is going to be kind of your guide. They're not going to tell you what to do exactly. They're not going to be, you know, the person who says they're a boss and you must do it exactly the way I did. This is a person who helps you to really lean in to what's important. They help you to focus on your priorities, on that 20% of your attention or your energy that is going to contribute to 80% of your success. This person, I believe, helps to show you the possibility. They've gone ahead, you can see easily that this is what it looks like. This is what's possible in human form. This is the person that you can start to pair with your strategy, logic, integrator advisory person. When these two pieces come together, it helps to just give you the map or the framework to say, Here's how you get from where you are now to where you want to be.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:34] The last person. And I can tell you this is a very important but very difficult role to fill. It's the tell it like it is person. And I can tell you that this is a person that they have to have some serious hutzpah. This is a person that loves you and you know it. You know deep down that they're willing to share the hard stuff. They're willing to tell you what they truly see. But they know your soul, they know you at your core, and you love them at their core, because this is the person who, a) has the potential to really help you to set a course to help you overcome some of the big obstacles, the blind spots that you might not even see. But they also can have the potential to really hurt you because they know you so well that they can hit that really tender place in you that can make everything else start to crumble. I can tell you my person who is my tell it like it is person is my brother-in-law, Devon. I was terrified of the boy when I first met him. I'm not going to lie for probably the first 10-15 years that I knew him, I was a little intimidated because he's the person that lives his life in full stop truth. He says it like it is. And when I was young, when I was just, I didn't have my feet on the ground, I didn't have a lot of confidence. I didn't have that sense of I knew what I was doing in the world. And I felt like when he looked at me, he knew it. He saw all of my insecurities. He absolutely knew that it was all a show. I was trying to appear as someone who knew what they were doing, and I really wasn't. But over time, as we've gotten to know each other, I can now see his heart. And he sees mine. He cares in the biggest way, but he holds this space that when I ask him a question and when I say to him, This is what I need to know, I am going to get the full stop truth. It often stings a little when it first comes sometimes, other times, absolutely he's like, No, no, you're on the right track. You've got it. This is what I see. He will also sometimes bounce into my cheerleader position where he's the one that knows how hard I've been working or how difficult a situation is, and he'll be the one that'll just pop into my inbox and be like, You got this, You're incredible. So he can hold those two roles for me. I would say it is a long position to gain a ton of trust with someone to be able to do this. This role can break friendships, but it can also make them as strong as superglue.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:39] if you have developed your advisory team when you were in your 20s and they loved and cared about you and they knew you really well back then and they gave you advice. So at that time it might have been, you know, your parents, your spouse, your partner, it might have been your very best friend at the time. But if you're now 20, 25, 30 years from that time in your life and you have the exact same people sitting on your advisory board, I will challenge you. Are those people keeping you stuck in the person that you were 20, 25, 30 years ago? Have they evolved with you? Have they made the investment in knowing who you are now and they support that growth. They support those changes in how you're working towards maybe letting go of things that weren't working for you anymore, but they're not holding you in those roles. Again, you can love and have relationships with those people. You don't have to cut them out, but you can not have them hold a position on your advisory board in your life as it is right now.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:29] You want to make sure that the people who are on your advisory board now in your life are people who know your current goals. Your current dreams. They know your fears. And that they are truly qualified to hold the role that they're holding. Ask yourself if you're really wanting your partner to be the cheerleader in your life but naturally, they're more of an integrator, they're more of the questioner. Put things in order. They're the ones who likes to poke holes in your theory. That's their natural strength. Don't try to convert your partner or your best friend who has that natural strength and talent into being your cheerleader. Don't get upset about it. Don't get resentful and say, You know, I just wish you believed in me and this is what that would look like. Because what you're doing is you're trying to make them something they're not. Go and look for someone who is a natural cheerleader in your life who's aligned with your current goals and dreams. It might be someone who's really close to you and it might not be. It might be someone online as a friendship. It might be someone in a group coaching program that you're in. You may have to pay to get time with some of these people, and that's okay. What you're doing is you're developing that sense of team because naturally you are going to be one of these roles more easily with yourself.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:03] For me, I'm naturally more of a visionary. I love to have big ideas, but then I can get a little bit tripped up because I'm not necessarily a strong cheerleader for myself. I tend to be kind of a little bit of a Debbie Downer when it comes to my own ideas. I can go from visionary to absolutely quashing that idea very quickly. So it's important for me that I have someone who can hold that role of cheerleader in my life, who can keep me going when those times are hard and they recognize kind of when they need to step in. I always have someone in my life who is holding that expert mentor or coach role, and sometimes I will have 3 or 4 of them in different areas of my life. So right now I have an expert and a mentor in my business portion. I actually have three of them in my business portion for different areas. So I have someone in the area who's doing more of like an online presence, developing digital programs, that piece. I have someone who is helping me with my copywriting and my brand voice and building that part. And then I have someone who is more of that strategic logic person who's developing my business plan and my long term vision. So I actually have three people on my advisory board currently who are holding that role just in my business. And then I also have someone who's helping me with some of my health issues and building more movement that aligns with kind of what my body needs right now, what I need to move into this next stage, you know, in my late 40s so that I'm aging well. I have someone who's the cheerleader in all of those different roles.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:52] As you move into this? I guarantee doing life by yourself, it's not the way anymore. It's not about getting into our own heads and kind of just absorbing ourselves into our own minds. When you develop a strong advisory board with people who are wanting to move their life forward too, know that you also hold this role in other people's lives, you hold that role for other people's advisory board. In my daughter's life, I am absolutely her cheerleader. That is my favorite role to hold with her because I just can continue to love on her, let her know that I believe in her and just keep pushing how amazing I think she is. I believe I do that really well. In the business world with clients with close friends who are also business owners, I can hold that visionary role with them and get really excited and light them up. And then I can also sometimes flip into that strategy logic, let's put things in order, where do we go from here? In certain industries I can absolutely hold that expert mentor coach position, especially when it comes to business. But I would never hold the expert mentor or coach role maybe when it comes to fitness or when it comes to a completely different area that I'm not comfortable with it. So do you see how we can absorb this? We can hold different roles for different people, but as you start to build your own advisory board, this moves your life forward exponentially. The reason that corporations and big companies have advisory boards is because it shines a light on the blind spots in the business that they may have not even considered. If they have a really close group that is working in the business and they all kind of have similar strengths and patterns to how they work, they might bring someone into their advisory board who's more of a creative mind or who thinks very differently than they do because it allows them to see things that they could not see from within. It allows that kind of bird's eye view, being able to see the whole picture that is priceless. The value that they get in that role is huge. There are several people in it. So I'm so curious. Please reach out. Go and comment on posts that you see on my social media. Send me an email. I want to hear the people that are lighting up your advisory board or if you're struggling and you feel like you really have a gap in your advisory board and you're looking for that support and kind of building that next phase of your life, let's chat. Let's see if we can start to create more community around these next steps. I am your host, Kari Lotzien, with Be the Anchor, business and leadership coach. Thanks for being here. We'll chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:02] Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers, but deep down you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

04 - I'm a Bit Fussy Today, My Issue With Challenge Culture

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 07:30:00 +0000

I’m on a little bit of a soapbox this episode because something has been irritating me. Do you get those emails promising huge results in very short amounts of time? Incredible gains for hardly any time investment? That’s what is on my mind so in this episode, I’m going to talk about why that’s not the way success works.

High-intensity performance to get a peak result is something we know how to do, certainly, but it’s not the way to do long-term change. Athletes who do a high-intensity burn to achieve a competition goal have already put in months and years of slow and steady practice to get to that point. And that’s how progress is really made.

I’m going to explain why we should focus on process goals over outcome goals. First I’m going to explain what that means so that you can really understand why slow and steady change is what wins. What do we have control over? What can we change in increments that will stay with us for long-term gain?

4:31 Downsides of focusing on challenge culture intensity

7:02 How to achieve stackable habits

8:10 What are process goals?

Life is a journey, not a destination
Focusing on the process makes the rewards more fulfilling
If you are selling quick transformation goals, check your integrity

Resources discussed in this episode:

Anchored Leadership group coaching

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us, to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends. Thank you so much for being here. I'm Kari Lotzien, your business and leadership coach with Be the Anchor. Today I'm getting on a little bit of a soapbox because I'm feeling a little irritated, to be honest. And it's something that's been on my mind for a really long time, that idea of challenge culture. And it is really picking my butt because what I'm finding is that my newsfeed, my email, my sales calls that I'm getting are filled with promises of short term huge results in a very short amount of time. Whether that is, you can earn six figures a month or you can make seven figures in business in your first year. You can lose 15 pounds in 14 days before you have to go to your high school reunion. Or you can change your relationship in a weekend retreat with your spouse.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:12] Here's the thing. When we have long term goals that we want to move towards that are going to change our lives, it doesn't happen through short term intense practices. It doesn't ever. Ever. We can do intensity. Our nervous systems know how to do intense. We can lift really heavy weights a few times, maybe even once. If you are someone who is experienced in the world of high performance sport, often times you will focus in your attention on perfect form. You have the ideal mindset. You've prepped your joints and your muscles so that you can do the heaviest lift you've ever done, and you do it once. You can knock out of the park that huge project at work that requires intense focus. But you can't do that for years and years. You do it for a short amount of time where you control all the other variables, you take the distraction out, you optimize the environment so that you can focus in on doing your best performance, but it's for a short period of time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:30] When we keep doing this, when we keep coming back to intensity and we try to sustain it long term, it never works. This is the path to burnout where we do something really intently and then we fall off and we go into burnout phase and we completely shut down because our nervous system needs to recover. That's the way this happens. If you want to do that heavy lift, the way that you do it is by allowing your body a space of pure rest, of stopping before you go back to it. You don't do ten lifts and then just slowly build up and have no space in between. The way that you accomplish that big, heavy goal is you rest before and after. That's what your nervous system needs to do to recover. That's what it needs to do to look after itself. It is the exact same when it comes to mental focus. You can zone in. You can get really intently focused on a project and really focus your attention in, but you can't do it long term.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:31] You'll get to a point where all of a sudden the ideas are gone, you have nothing left, and you need to walk away from it and have sleep or rest to recover and recuperate to come back to it. This is what challenge culture is doing to us. Is it's pushing us to this idea of gaining something short term, building this up over a very short period of time, and then when we fall off, we think that we failed. And then we don't get back on the proverbial horse to come back to our goals. The way to create long term change is to focus on consistency over intensity. I don't care what you can do for 30 days. I care what can you do for two years? What habits can you develop that feel doable in your life, that can contribute to making your relationship just a little bit better? And let me tell you, these things are usually not Facebook worthy. We don't create big, exciting programs that have transformational results in a very short period of time because that doesn't sell. Taking 15 minutes where you put your phones away and you have a conversation when your partner comes home or you have dinner together and you talk about your days, you talk about your challenges, you talk about the most exciting thing that happened or something funny. That creates long term change. When you develop consistent habits of following through on leads or when you consistently show up to network in your business and you consistently focus on developing, what's one little thing that we could be doing a little bit better or a little bit more efficiently in our business? Is that going to create five figure changes in a month or a day? No. It might create 2% change this week and maybe 1% change next week. And those things build over time. You do get the results. But it doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen as quickly. But what happens is you're not building your success in that intense focus where you're hitting that peak of performance and then needing that recovery phase. What happens is you're building in slow, steady increments where you might have points where you're really sprinting or you're really focusing in, but you're guiding that those are short term, you know that there's a short term. And then you're building that consistent habit over time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:02] Things like I'm going to focus on my hydration. I'm going to lean in and I'm going to have a water bottle beside my computer so that I stay more focused, so that by 3:00 in the afternoon, I don't have that headache that I've had from drinking too much coffee and sitting in one place for so long. That habit over time, which is easy to maintain, now you might notice, Well, actually, now I'm eating better at night because I'm not grabbing that quick snack at 4:00 or another cup of coffee or an energy drink to try and get through the last part of my day. Maybe I've got some space where when my kids get home from school or when my partner gets home, we can go for a walk and I have some capacity left. So that one habit of being hydrated is now starting to contribute to better mental health. My focus is better. I don't have that headache. Now I can build relationships. This is how one thing connects over the other. We create those stackable habits.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:10] The other big thing that I'm seeing is we focus so much on outcome goals and not enough on process goals. Now, what the heck does that mean? An outcome goal is when we focus on what result, and it's usually a single point. So I am looking to make a certain amount of money in my business. I'm looking to have a certain goal weight. What happens when we do this? When we focus on I want to earn $100,000 this month in my business? There are so many variables that are outside of our control that it can give us the image that we don't have control over where we're headed or even worse, we can be doing all of the right things that are getting us closer, but we don't see the connection inherently. So if we're doing the work and we're not seeing the result that we think is related, we might very well give up on the goal, leave it behind, and not focus on continuing on.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:15] If we focus on process goals, which means focusing on how you think you're going to achieve that destination point. When I think about this in terms of my Be the Anchor philosophy, I don't just focus on where I want to go. I don't say, Oh, this is where I'm trying to take my ship. What I focus on is I'm going to notice what are the waves like? I'm going to notice on where am I getting some support? What makes this feel easier as I'm getting towards my destination? How many paddles am I going to take? What this looks like in health is you might be focusing on I think that I need to lose 15 pounds. Okay. Well, there's a lot of different ways and a lot of different variables that can connect to you getting there. But when you focus on the process, I'm going to go for a walk four days a week. What makes that easier? Well, I'm going to put my runners in the car so that I don't go home and end up on the couch scrolling through social media instead of taking that 15 minute walk. I'm going to do it before I even get home. Or I'm going to make an appointment with a friend that I really want to connect with, and I'm going to phone them on my walk and we're going to have a conversation while we're going for a walk together.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:35] When you say, I'm going to do this and you set that plan that you know and you have control, you can easily measure. Did I go for a walk three days this week? Yes, I did. Was there anything that got in my way? Was there anything that made that harder or easier? And then I adjust that so that I can keep focused on how can I develop that consistent habit. If I'm wanting to earn more money in my business, I might focus on how many sales calls I'm going to make that week. And when I look at the end of the week and I say, okay, my goal was to make 25 sales calls this week. Did I do that? Yes or no? If I didn't do that, what impacted my ability to do that? Well, you know what, other things came into my day. My schedule got off. So what I might adjust is to be able to meet that goal, I'm going to schedule that time in first thing in the morning before my schedule goes off track, or I'm going to do those calls before I check my email in the morning. You hold yourself accountable to developing the habit and you track your progress and your success based on are you following that process goal? Did you make those calls during the week? Did you go for that walk? Did you sit down with your spouse without any phones or distractions so that you can have a conversation? What happens is when we develop those habits over time, it does lead to those bigger goals.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:07] The other thing that this can protect us from is sometimes when we focus so much on the goal or the outcome and everything works out beautifully and we actually get there. Let's say we actually do earn that money. Let's say we actually do get that beautiful holiday that we've always dreamed about. Let's say that we do lose those 15 pounds. What we often see with high performers especially, is that they meet the goal, they hit the target, they get the thing, and it doesn't feel the way they thought it would feel. It doesn't feel like enough. Or they now don't know what's next. Or even worse, they got to the goal, then went, I don't think this is what I really wanted. This doesn't have the feeling or the outcome that I thought it would feel like or that it would be. I don't have the things I thought I would have when I got to this step. We hear about the private jet syndrome, people get to a level of success where they think, Ooh, a private jet is the ultimate sign of I've made it. And it still doesn't feel like enough. When we focus on the process to get there, when we focus on life is a journey, not a destination, and you focus on what are the habits and the skills and the way you want to feel while you're in the process of achieving your goals, so your focus on what does this feel like right now? This is the secret to changing your life. It's short, small, incremental steps in the direction of your goal while measuring the day to day boring, mundane things that we need to do to get closer to the person that we want to be. And then we evaluate. Does this feel the way that I thought it would feel? Am I getting closer? And then those big checkpoints of did I reach that health goal? Did I reach that financial goal? Did I get that relationship thing that I really wanted? They become stops along the way. They don't become the end point that then we wonder, okay, what's next?

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:16] So the two things I want to leave you with. One, you're doing just fine. Stop comparing yourself to all of those pictures online of those ultra successful people that look like they've got it all together that are getting huge results in short amounts of time. The only reason that you're seeing that is because it feels like it is Facebook or Instagram or social media worthy. Because it feels exciting. But it is not sustainable. Keep doing the boring, step by step, mundane work. If you can do something consistently, if you can keep showing up for yourself over the long term, if you can do something for a year, that's what I want to know. Does this feel doable over the long term? If it does, you are on the right track and those habits stack upon each other to create the life that you want and not just a series of empty goals.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:16] And second, if you are in business and you are selling transformation in 14 days or you are selling quick results and your gut knows that this is not long term achievable, that this is not sustainable, and that you are seeing clients burn out or even worse, they are developing a reliance on you because they have to keep going through these intense challenge-based programs, thinking that inevitably they eventually will get to the goal that they need, I want you to check your integrity. Because these are not the businesses that we need. They're not the businesses that I want to support because I feel like they are contributing to the destruction of our mental health. They really are. And we need to start calling that out.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:09] So it feels yucky. I did give you a warning. I'm on a bit of a soapbox today, but it's speaking to me. I will never sell transformation in short periods. I will never sell something that I think is going to change your life in a very short time. Because what I want to give is small things that you can do for the rest of your life that feel doable and that contribute to the life you want. Thanks for being here. I appreciate your time. Love you all. Thanks for joining. We'll chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:40] Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers, but deep down you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call, and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

03 - 5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Started my Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 07:20:00 +0000

Do you believe that in order to succeed you have to do everything in your business? Are you, as a solopreneur, afraid to ask for help? Here’s a secret: I believed and felt those same things. But there is a better way. In this episode, I’m sharing five tips I wish I knew when I started my own business. Tips that address the things we all believe and don’t need to.

There’s a better way to get our business to where we want it. I know, it’s hard to let go and not be the “Chief of Everything” or to keep our business simple. But these five things I share with you will make your business life so much easier.

You can start things simply and not have to offer 100 services, you can have the help you need so you can focus on what you do really well. It’s true! So let’s explore the things we believe about business that aren’t helping us and start putting five things that work into play.

1:35 Things I believed that didn’t work

4:30 Five things I now know that I wish I’d known earlier

18:37 Reviewing what works:

Don’t do everything yourself
Find people who went before you
Understanding that you can share with others in your field
Keep things simple
Get clear on what you really want

Resources discussed in this episode:

Anchored Leadership group coaching

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello and welcome to Be the Anchor the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach, Kari Lotzien. I'm so glad you're here. Starting and running a new business is not for the faint of heart. We all know this as we take our idea, our vision, our dream, and turn it to something tangible in a business.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:35] I have been thinking a lot about after 22 years in business, starting as a solopreneur with not a clue about business, I was not raised in a home of entrepreneurs. I was raised with that idea that you go to university, you find your career, you work there for 40 years or longer. Find benefits. Find a pension. Retire. Live happily ever after. It wasn't until just a few months into my career when I thought, I don't think I can do it like this. I think there's a better way. And my drive, and I hear this in a lot of entrepreneurs, my drive to start a business had nothing to do with wanting to be a business owner. Maybe that's your case too. My passion came from I just saw that there could be a better way. I thought I can serve more people. I can, I believe, deliver a better service without having the constraints of a corporation or a government that is saying, this is your budget, this is what the qualifications are, and you shall not have this service unless. Now my business was in service. I ran a private rehabilitation company in Canada where let me tell you, there were no really solid private therapy clinics in rural Alberta where I lived. It was unheard of. But there was this passion in me that went, You know what? I really think this can work.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:12] And when I looked at what I would now call market research, clients were asking for it. I knew there was a demand. I thought maybe people would pay for it. I wasn't so sure and I had no experience. But I pushed through and 22 years later that business was something I was so proud of. We had developed an incredible team and I was eventually able to sell and then now continue on this journey of inspiring other entrepreneurs to bring their dreams to reality. But maybe not doing it in that hard challenge way of figuring it all out yourself like I did. I didn't go with my MBA, I didn't have a business background. I had a passion and I thought, if I build it, maybe someone will come and I don't want you to go through that same thing. So my podcast today is going to be about five things that I wish someone would have told me or that I would have known in those early years in business that I think really would have made a significant change in how I felt, how successful my company was, the speed of growth that I had and the foundation that I was building.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:30] So, number one, I had a vision that to be successful in business, I should start by doing everything myself. And this started with providing the service which I was comfortable with. I knew that part, but I also took on doing all the books myself, thinking, Well, it can't be that hard, I'll use a software program. I'll go through it all. I'll do all my own invoicing. I had a brick and mortar location at that time. I was doing all of the cleaning. I was doing the reception, I was answering all of the emails, all of our client intakes. I was literally the chief of everything, as my business coach would later say, that you are not the CEO of this company. You are the COE, you're the chief of everything and you're trying to do it all and you're not doing it well. I thought that my time was free, that if I wasn't paying someone else to do the work for me, including cleaning, bookkeeping, all of these other things, that I was saving money. When the reality was, if I looked at it in terms not of money, but of energy and time, I was costing my company huge money because my zone of genius, where I was really good, was in frontline service. I was good at earning revenue for the company and for every hour that I was spending not earning revenue or not moving towards that goal, I was taking away from the overall profit and revenue of my company. So the first thing that you can do in this place is get really real about what is your rate when you're doing your service.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:18] So if you are in a service based industry, if you're a hairdresser, if you're a mechanic, if you are a lawyer. Whatever you're doing, real estate, any service-based profession, if you look at what your hourly rate is when you are providing that service compared to would you pay someone to do that? You will often find yourself if you are earning 80, 100, $200 an hour in providing your service, you know that you can hire someone to do your cleaning, to do your books for much, much less than that. And here's the other big ticket is when you look at time, that person is likely way more efficient in doing that same task than you are. They're likely more competent. They're doing a better job. It's more accurate. They're more efficient. It is a waste of money to keep doing it yourself. But I think we lie to ourselves. We think that just because we can, because we've likely had some grit and some resilience, we know how to learn, we're intelligent people. We convince ourselves that it's not that hard, that we can do it ourselves and we lie to ourselves thinking that we are saving money. And this, my friend, is not true.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:39] The second thing is I felt like I had to know everything about business and I was looking in the wrong places. So instead of going to find someone who had done this journey before me, going to ask other business owners some questions about payroll and GST and how to pay taxes and doing all of these other things, I went to Google. Sometimes I called the revenue agency, which I now found out was maybe not my best, most appropriate way to go. I felt like I couldn't ask other people because I felt intimidated. I felt like I wasn't a real business owner because I didn't have that MBA. I didn't have a business background. So I felt almost embarrassed or ashamed to ask people who had more experience than I did. Looking back, I now know that when I started asking other people, oh my gosh, the learning was so much quicker because people could say there's all of these other pieces or parts to this, but here's the piece that you really need to know. If you haven't heard of Pareto's principle, it's the 80-20 rule. What mentors and other people who have gone through that path before you will tell you is these are the most important things you need to know. They'll tell you what is the 20% of business that you need to focus your attention on to get 80% of your success. You don't have to know it all. Focus your energy in on those key pieces and learn from the people who went before you, throw your guilt and your embarrassment out the door, don't be too proud to ask. It is such a waste of time to protect your ego, to not ask the questions, to go find all the other information online in places that, you know, you just go down the rabbit hole and you find all kinds of information that doesn't apply to what you're actually looking for. Go to the source. Go to the people who have done it before you, get the information you need. Now, this is where a coach or a mentor can be so valuable. Yes, it might cost you some money, but in a lot of situations there are people who are experienced in your industry that will help you for nothing. Respect their time. Don't overextend. If you have key questions, book an hour of their time. Pay for their lunch. Book them in. Go through your questions. Show gratitude for what they give back to you because it is invaluable. But it can often be really inexpensive and often people are willing to help you out.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:23] Number three. I was raised in a time, and you might have been too, of thinking there wasn't enough to go around. When I would put my idea out there, I would be told, Well, don't share this idea because someone else might take it and then they'll compete with you. I now know that my perceived competition are often my greatest networking partners. They can be great referral partners, especially in the coaching industry, in the therapy industry, whatever industry that you are in, it's wide. If you're a mechanic, you might work on a certain type of vehicle and your partner, your referral partner down the road, does a really great job with maybe foreign vehicles. If you are a therapist, you might really specialize in a certain type of treatment for a certain type of industry, and then you have a partner up the road or in your neighboring community that does a really exceptional job in a different area of practice. I can tell you your credibility grows immensely when you don't try to do it all. When you develop those referral partnerships, even within your own industry and you start to pass referrals back and forth, clients, customers feel like you have their best interest at heart, that you're not providing maybe a substandard service just to get their money. That you really are invested in what's best for them, what they really need, and when you pass that referral to that referral partner, they will inevitably, because of the human condition, we feel that when someone gives to us, we naturally want to give back. There is more than enough to go around. We are not in a lack culture anymore. We really, really aren't. No matter what that little voice in your head tells you, no matter what maybe your parent or your past boss or anything talks about, there is more than enough to go around. And when you can lean into that and when you can lean into the faith and the trust, really develop those partnerships, it will serve you so well and it will help you to really get clear on who your ideal client is, what you do really, really well. And the great thing is when you're not trying to do it all, when you're not trying to serve everyone, you can fall into your own zone of genius. It starts to feel fun. It's comfortable. It's easy. This is how you achieve true abundance. And so we want to keep building that idea of sharing our ideas, sharing our questions, developing our network, and growing that so that we can get the clients and the customers that we really want and that serve us well.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:13] The other big piece, I believed that business was complicated. And let me tell you at the beginning, it feels that way when you're thinking about taxes and onboarding and revenue streams and profit and loss statements and bookkeeping, keeping receipts, what's a write off and what's not, building your team of lawyers and accountants. It can feel really complicated. What I have now learned is that simple businesses are often the most successful. They're easy to understand. It's easy to explain to other people what you do and how you do it. When you onboard new team members, the expectation of how they earn money, how they're successful, what they need to do is clear. Don't overcomplicate your business. When you go to explain it, see, can you make it simpler and simpler and simpler and simpler? The more simple, the more straightforward, I do this, this is the return or the price that I charge. This is the investment. This is how I serve. The simpler you can be, sometimes the more successful you can be. You don't have to start complex. You don't have to start with ten different offerings or 25 different products or 100 different products. Start small. The idea is that you just start. Develop that foundation. See what you enjoy, see what you feel good at. See what comes easily. See what people respond to. Oftentimes we try to overdeliver, we try to anticipate what might people want before we even launch. And then oftentimes we end up throwing out half of those ideas, half of those products, half of those services, because either we didn't enjoy doing it, it wasn't really needed in the marketplace, and we move on. So the idea, don't overcomplicate it, start small, start with something, you know, something that you feel is needed or wanted that people are asking you for and just start. Keep it simple.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:25] Number five, get clear on what you really want. This is one of the biggest mistakes that I see early in entrepreneurship is we try to do it all. We have a natural fear that when we take that leap of faith to start a business, that we are going to starve. So we say yes to anything that comes our way, even if that means stretching beyond our own capacity. We often hear about boundaries. We hear about it everywhere. That we need to set boundaries, that we need to be clear on our boundaries, that we need to acknowledge our boundaries. Start small. Start simple. This can be as easy as saying I don't work Sundays. This could be as simple as saying I don't serve this type of client. That I won't work before 9 a.m. on Monday to Friday. If your business doesn't align with your life, if you don't get clear on why you're doing this business and how it is going to make your life better, we give the reins to our business. And it sounds crazy because I think when we first start up, we feel like we are one and the same with our business. You have to have a separate entity. Your business is a way to serve your life. Get clear on that from the very beginning. It is separate from you. Therefore, it does not get to overtake your life and start to control because it will become a monster in a very short order. Next thing you know, you're all over the place. You're extending your days, you're working from home at 11:00 on a Tuesday night, you've been returning emails while your kids are playing hockey, you missed their goal, whatever it is. You want to get clear on that and you can again set it small. They don't have to be hard and fast rules. But get clear on what you really want. Get clear on the money you want to make. Get clear on the hours that you're going to work. If you just get clear on those two things, set some general boundaries, share those with the people who love you and are closest to you so that when you start to push up against that, when the fear kicks in and next thing you know, it's 10:00 on a Wednesday and you're sitting in front of your computer again doing your books or doing things that you should not be doing, the people who love you can lean in and say, Hey, remember, you set that goal, you set that boundary that you weren't going to do this. And our likelihood, I mean, let's be honest, we'll probably get a little defensive, we'll probably get a little angry, we'll probably try to defend why we're doing what we're doing, and this is what must happen. But you need to have someone who can hold you accountable to step away, to not let that fear in that business take over and to keep revisiting is this contributing to the life that I want to live? And you might have to keep coming back to that over and over again over the years. But if you can do it at the beginning, let me tell you, it becomes so much easier as you move forward and you have those years of experience behind you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:37] So those, my friends, are the top five things that I wish that I would have known earlier on. Number one, you do not have to be the chief of everything. Do not do everything yourself. Number two, feeling that you need to know everything before you push forward, go find those people who went ahead of you. Learn that 20% that is going to contribute to 80% of your success so you can focus your energy on getting started and not getting stuck in that overwhelm of not knowing enough. Number three, feeling that there was not enough to go around and that everyone was my competitor and I felt the need to hold things really tight. You might feel that too, that that lack mindset is getting in your way of being able to really establish those good referral partnerships and being able to pass business from one company to another. This is key in building that going forward. Number four, don't make it complicated. Keep it really simple. Fewer products, Fewer services. Stay in something you feel really comfortable in and start from there in building your foundation. We don't want to spend all of our energy trying to imagine what people might want and then having to throw half of it out in very short order. Keep it simple. And number five, get clear on what you really want and why. You want a business that is going to contribute to your life, not to feel like it's completely taking it over. If you can have some people that you love and that can help hold you accountable in those moments as you develop this business, as you really get into the grit and the the work that it takes to really make this go, share that. Make sure that you're visiting, Are you staying aligned and in your integrity with the life that you want to create rather than letting the business take over?

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:33] Five tips and tricks. I hope these are helpful. If you're finding key things in this podcast that you are finding helpful, I would so appreciate if you would subscribe, if you would rate the podcast. This is how we get the message out to more people who are going through this resilient activity of life in developing businesses and trying to make our communities a better place. I want to share the message. I would sincerely appreciate if you share a screenshot on your social media. If you send a link to a friend, this is how our community grows. Thank you so much for being here. We'll chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:13] Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers, but deep down you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call, and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

02 - Delegating Well in Your Business

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 07:10:00 +0000

Did you know there is something called “delegation talent?” Even more interesting is that most entrepreneurs don’t have this talent. I was surprised too. In this episode, I am talking about why it is so hard to ask for help and why business owners might be exceptionally bad at it.

Luckily, this is not just a talent but a skill we can learn and develop. Even if you’re an entrepreneur who has embraced delegation a bit late in your business, embracing this skill will increase your efficiency and success. So let’s dive into why it’s tough and I will share a few tips you can use to find and retain great people that will help grow your business.

If you have ever said things like “I don’t have time to train someone new” or “It’s just easier to do the work myself, good people are hard to find”, this episode is for you.

1:32 Delegation Talent

3:21 The 3 reasons it is so hard to delegate

8:03 3 common mistakes small business owners make when delegating

Waiting too long to delegate
Assuming too much with a lack of clear communication
All or none thinking

Resources discussed in this episode:

—

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

—

Transcript

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:11] Hello my friends. Welcome to Be The Anchor the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien, and I'm so glad you're here. I have a confession to make, and I don't think I'm alone. I am terrible at asking for help. It's been a long term thing. I think it's both contributed to my success and a lot of times gotten in the way.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:32] Well, I read a study from the Gallup poll in 2014 that says I am not alone. And if you have trouble asking for help, you probably aren't alone either. What they found is that only 1 in 4 entrepreneurs, so owners who had more than four employees, only 1 in 4 had what they called a natural delegator talent. Why is this important? Because so many of the other pieces of that study related to businesses who had leaders that were good at delegating grew faster and earned on average 33% more revenue than those who didn't. This is something worth paying attention to. Got me thinking about the skill of delegation. And so often as entrepreneurs who are beyond that initial start up phase, we hear that idea of you need to stop working in your business and you need to start working on your business. Now, for many of us who, in start up phase, this is what made you successful, being fiercely independent, learning things that you did not know before so that you could get through that initial grind of what a startup means. We get a pride with that. And often the first measure of success in business is the fact that you survived the start up phase. As you know, many businesses don't survive that first part. 46% of businesses don't survive the first five years in business. If you want to make more money and have longevity in your business, delegation is a skill set that you need.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:21] And it doesn't come naturally. I first want to just address how did we even get there? Why is this task of delegating so hard? I think, number one, the fact that many of us who have achieved a certain level of success are intelligent. We know how to find information. We know how to learn things. So we can do a lot of the different roles in our business. For me, that included everything from cleaning the floors to doing the reception, answering phones, doing my own books. I learned many things in the business and I see so many entrepreneurs at that start up phase. They're doing it all. But then sometimes we go beyond the time where it's still comfortable and we keep doing it all as we grow and we just start to feel more and more constraints on our time and then our services start to decline or fall.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:46] The second is humility. I still hear so many entrepreneurs, and especially those of us who have come from service-based businesses where we've kind of worked our way up. You know, we've got the story to tell. We walked uphill both ways. You know, we had bosses that, you know, screamed and hollered at us, and we feel like we've kind of worked our way through the trenches. And there's that almost pride or martyrdom that comes with, I've been there. I know where you are, and I am not too proud to stop doing the hard work in the business, to stop doing that front line piece, to, you know, do the do the gritty stuff. And we have this voice in our head that says, I would never ask anyone else to do something that I'm not willing to do myself. Well, I can tell you there is a difference between being willing to do it when it is truly necessary and continuing to do it and masking that as humility. It comes off as almost martyrdom. And I think the way that we know the difference is sometimes you're doing the things that you know you shouldn't be doing, and that seed of resentment is building.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:11] You start to get angry that you're holding some of those roles in the business when you know you should be doing other things that you can't delegate that no one else can do for you. And it's not up to your employees or the people that you've hired to know what you should be doing. You know, they're not going to come to you and say, oh, you know, you really shouldn't be answering the phones. You really shouldn't be doing all these books. Let me do that for you so that you can work on our next quarterly objectives, or you can really go and plan that meeting and go after that networking thing that you've been trying to do for so long to land us that new contract. No one is going to give you permission, my friend. The third is fear. Fear of trusting other people. And this is a sticky one because I think so often we have this sense of control and when we have a certain standard, and even if we're not doing a great job, often we tend to be able to do most tasks well enough to get by. And we have a real fear that if we let go of that control, that our quality, our service, our efficiency is not going to be the same. So we have this hesitancy in even looking, considering delegating. So number one is just understanding the reason why this difficulty with lack of delegation exists in many of us and recognizing that what got you here to this point, to getting past that start up grind is not going to take you to the next level. It has served you well and it is time to move on from that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:03] Top three mistakes that I see entrepreneurs making as they try to start to delegate in the business. Number one, they wait too long. Myself included. What happens when we wait too long is we are burning the candle at both ends. Getting up earlier, staying later. We're eating lunch at our desk or not at all. We are returning emails when we're trying to watch our kid's soccer game. We're doing so much multitasking that our business is encroaching on so many different aspects of our lives that there is almost no space to delegate well. And when we have waited too long, now the little voice in your head will say things to you like, It's easier to just keep doing it myself because I don't have time to train someone. I don't have time to get things going because this project, this assignment, these things needed to be done yesterday. It's a very tricky situation. And we're going to talk a little bit about how to do that. Number two difficulty that I see when it comes to delegating as we start to be able to consider that is assuming too much.:

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:26] If we've waited too long, we tend to move towards outsourcing instead of hiring, or we try to hire someone who has experience. And we assume that when they have experience that they know or can find everything they need to be successful at that job. We assume that they know exactly what we want, how we want it, how efficiently we want it. And inevitably it leads to disappointment, resentment or the task not going well at all. And that relationship is strained almost before it even starts. The problem is not the other person. With love and compassion my friends, like, please know, I get it. What I hear my clients often say is it's so hard to find good people. Well, here's the thing. Yes, there is a challenge right now in finding good people, but we make it so much worse when we wait too long and we don't set that person up for success and we assume too many things so that that relationship does not get off to a strong start. Number three, we have an all or none mentality. When things start to go sideways or when there's tension or something doesn't go completely according to plan, we jump ship. We tell that person it's not working, we move on and we go back to doing it all ourselves. We don't have time to navigate the subtle changes in what we truly want, how we want things to be better as that relationship goes forward.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:05] And again, I can tell you right now, most of the time, this is not about the other person. This is not about the person that you hired not being qualified, not having a good work ethic, not understanding what you need. It really is about taking time to develop a good delegation relationship and then giving an investment to that over time so that it doesn't go so far off track. So just noticing, are you making some of those mistakes in your business as you start to think about delegating? Have you waited too long? Do you have capacity to really invest in that training? Are you assuming that people have all the skills that they need, that they can just come in and without training deliver this quality of service that you're looking for? And is there this voice in your mind that if it doesn't go well, you're just willing to let that entire relationship go and go back to doing it all yourself? Those are three very dangerous things when it comes to moving to this next level of delegation.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:08] All right. So we've talked about why it's hard. Why it's hard to even get to the idea of delegating. We've talked about common mistakes that business owners make as they start to move towards delegation. And now I want to finish by talking about how can we set ourselves up for success when we start to move towards delegation, when we bring on those new people that we're really investing in that relationship so that it really contributes to the success of our business and gives us our own time and energy back, because I think that's what we really want. First, take time to really lean in to what your expectations are. Get super clear. Now, this isn't about being a micromanager. It's not about being too type A or being too detail focused. It's not like that. It's about helping to set the other person up for success. So when you turn over a project, when you turn over a big task, get really clear. How are you measuring success? What are those key steps or really important processes that are important to you in how that task is carried out? Communicate around all of the expectations in that task and then talk openly about timelines, what's reasonable, what feels like an adequate amount of time that you're going to allow for this project to come to completion so that you know that it's done in its entirety. Talk about it. Discuss it at the very beginning.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:44] And then the next step in making this more successful is to schedule regular check ins. Investment in time in the process of delegation is one of the biggest pieces. Don't wait until we're at outcome stage or till a project is finished, until we check in on it. To ensure that things are going well we want to have those touch points along the way just checking in. How are things going? Are there any questions so that we don't get so far off track before we can correct course. This protects us from that all or none mentality where we're too far in and we feel like, well, I guess I just need to accept the way that it is or I need to go back to doing it all myself. When you have those checkpoints, it allows you to make those subtle corrections along the way. And this is going to be the time where you might see your own blind spots. Where you can identify, Oh, I should have communicated that that part was important or I should have communicated that this is where we need to go next, or this is a key process that has to happen in the bigger picture. What this does is it starts to just turn the way you think. You're teaching that other person how you make decisions, how you move through a process so that they're taking on more and more of that independence over time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:52] And the biggest piece that I see in the success of delegating well is that the delegator assumes most of the responsibility in the process, especially at the beginning. Don't be too proud to just reflect and correct course. You know what? That's on me. We should have scheduled a check in meeting a little bit earlier. Or, you know, I forgot to tell you about that key part. You know, sometimes when you've been doing a task for so long, you forget about all of those little pieces. And now that we're this far in, you know, I recognize that there's a few tweaks that we need to make. When you assume responsibility, your partner, your delegation partner will feel that this is a collaborative effort, that you're not blaming them for not being able to read your mind or do things the way you wanted and you're not feeling that sense of, Oh, well, I now need to take this all back. But we're building that collaboration as we build the delegation relationship. These are so critically important to moving forward in having this to go well, and I want it to go well for you. I want you to move to that next level in your business. I want you to earn better revenue. I want you to feel like you have people on your team who feel valued. This is what it's all about, my friends.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:28] I am so glad that you're here. That episode was loaded with content, and I don't want you to feel this sense of pressure. I want you to feel hope. I want you to feel like you have a bit of a roadmap on where to start, how to move forward. Thanks so much for being here. I'm Kari Lotzien with Be the Anchor. Don't forget, like, subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode. I'm so glad you're here. Chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers, but deep down you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks, and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call, and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

01 - Visit Your Why

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Does the “why” of your business still suit you? We’ve all founded our businesses on a specific passion that drives us. Sometimes, though, that reason shifts as our business grows and we change. In this episode I explore how to reassess our “why” and the reasons it’s such a useful practice.

I’m Kari Lotzien, business and leadership coach, and Be the Anchor is the podcast where I discuss everything from big ideas to mindset, and sometimes just how to get through the day. Sometimes we find ourselves, years into our business, not remembering the passion we started with. This episode is me giving you permission to revisit your “why”. You can reignite your passion!

If you have ever recognized a little voice inside you saying “This isn’t what I want anymore” maybe it’s time to listen to it. Let’s talk about why it’s important and how to make a positive change.

2:42 Revisiting our personal why

3:46 Taking time to figure out what we’re supposed to do

8:38 What the big shifts in our careers tell us

Do we want more time for our personal lives?
Are we craving flexibility and a different schedule?
What voices we should be listening to

Resources discussed in this episode:

“Start With Why” by Simon Sinek

—

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

—

Transcript

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the sgeteas of life gets stormy and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello and welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, Kari Lotzien, and I'm so glad you're here. Have you heard the concept of 'start with why'? Many of us in business have heard this concept from Simon Sinek that leaned into that idea that business life, it's more than just going through a series of motions and actions and experiences, but it's about tying it to a greater sense of purpose.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:38] Why are we doing what we're doing? I think in service-based businesses, that concept of why does your business exist? How are you making the world a little bit better place? These are the business owners that I love working with because there's kind of a greater sense of just how are we giving back, how are we creating stronger communities? How are we giving back to that next generation? How are we improving? That's so much more than just putting money in our pockets or giving our employees a way to pay their mortgages. It's bigger than that. When I think of that idea of visiting your why, I think there's two sides to this. One, that every so often we need to come back in business and ask ourselves, Is the reason that our business exists still aligned with what our clients are asking for, what our customers want, what people really need right now. The side that I want to talk about a little bit more in-depth today is that idea of revisiting our personal why. I think for many of us, there's a perception that when we find our why, it's like finding our passion, finding our zone of genius, that answer that says, this is why you were put on this earth. This is how you're going to give back to the world. This is the thing that you were meant to do. I think it almost feels like the sky is open, this light shines down and suddenly everything becomes clear.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:18] And I think for a lot of us, it can fall short. That best case scenario is that we've had this experience maybe once or twice in our lives where we have a sense of giving back and that we're meant for something more, and that it comes with a sense of clarity and almost a calmness that falls over us in this knowingness, that this is what we were meant to do. But I think for many people, we don't have that. We don't have this sense of this is what I was meant to do, and it lasts for years. As I've been talking more with my own kids who are young adults, they're in their early 20s, there's still this sense out there that somehow when we graduate grade 12 or we leave university or we start that first job, that we need to decide what were we meant to be doing on this planet. How are we meant to be giving back? And that we decide that in our early 20s and then we follow that dream and that when hardship comes, when things get tough, that somehow our why is going to just guide us through all of these bumps in the road. And it's going to be that guiding light that pulls us through. I don't think this is the way it goes.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:40] I think for myself, when I thought about my why, it feels more like that idea of your favorite pair of jeans and, you know, when you put them on and they just feel right, it feels good, they look good. You get compliments on them. Other people like them. I think your why can sometimes be just like that. And over time, as life changes, as we get older, as new things come up, sometimes those jeans just don't fit anymore. Sometimes they don't look as good. We've changed or it's just kind of gone out of style and we just don't like them anymore. I think we need to give our why a little bit less power and that when we sit down and we visit our why, we think of it like that favorite pair of jeans that it's hard to let go of. It's hard to part with those favorite parts of our lives. But we need to acknowledge, I think, when our why maybe just doesn't quite fit anymore and that we want to come back and say, Is it still working for me? I think for many of us who have leaned into entrepreneurship, who've developed a small business or who have taken one over, our first experience with finding our why is often related to moving from working for someone else as an employee or a contractor to really taking the reins and deciding we're going to do it differently. We're going to do something for ourselves. We're going to create something out of nothing. And it's often tied, I think, in a service-based industry with a sense of giving back, or we're going to make the world a little bit better place, we're going to offer something to our customers or our community that we're not seeing anywhere else.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:34] And it comes with this sense of sometimes sacrifice or service, but it's often not enough. And I think for many of us, the next kind of big shift in our why, I know it happened for me. I developed my company. I started doing things as a solopreneur kind of just getting things started. And then I had kids and suddenly my drive to be working all hours to be giving so much to everyone else started to kind of fall a little bit short. And I felt that I wanted to be spending more time with my own kids. I wanted to be able to be there for their sports. I wanted to be able to volunteer sometimes at their school. I didn't want to be this kind of career-driven all-in woman. And I know for myself at that time when my why started to adjust, I felt like I didn't fit anywhere. I felt that when I went to work and I was around all of these people who were so career-driven and who were looking to work up the chain and wanted that sense of commitment from me, they perceived that if I wanted my business to grow and I wanted to be successful, that of course I needed to be dedicated to that and putting in all of the hours no matter what it took. I felt like I couldn't tell them, I really just want to be home. I really just want to sit with my family and have dinner. I really just want to be able to snuggle my kids before they go to bed. I sheltered it away.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:11] And then on the other side, when I would meet with moms who were staying home with their kids, who had more time, I felt like I couldn't talk to them about how I was growing this business and how I had dreams of something bigger than myself and how I wanted to move that forward. I felt like my why just didn't fit anywhere and I didn't know how to talk about that anymore.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:38] Now as I'm coming into another big shift, I developed that business, I went all in, I grew the company, I did the thing and I was so passionate about the business and the life that I had created. But as I started to move into my later 40s, I found that my energy just wasn't what I needed it to be for the business anymore. And somehow this little voice in my head said, It's time to let go. This doesn't make sense anymore. And again, I felt that I couldn't really share that with a lot of people. I couldn't share it with my employees because would they feel like I was giving up on them, that I wasn't committed, that I wasn't connected? Would my clients and my customers that had been with me, some of them for many, many years, would they feel like I was turning my back on them?

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:27] I had a profitable business. We were making good money. My business coaches were saying, This just doesn't make sense. Why would you want to let go of something that is in such an incredible growth phase that's doing really well? You're now starting to see the payoff for all of this hard work that you've done over decades. But like that great pair of jeans, it just didn't fit anymore. It wasn't aligning with the life that I wanted. As my kids have gotten into their 20s and now I start to look forward and think about what the next 10 to 20 years of my life looks like. I wanted to have a career that allowed me more flexibility, that allowed me to travel and to really secure my own schedule and to have more freedom. It's like my why just didn't fit anymore. I couldn't keep lying to myself and giving 50, 60 hours a week to a company that didn't feel like it was serving my life anymore. Although it was fitting my financial goals, we were profitable, we were successful, there was nothing wrong, but it just didn't fit.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:34] And today what I want to talk about is giving you permission to come back and just visit your why. Does it still fit the life that you want? And I think maybe like me, it's hard for you to find someone that you can share this with that can really listen to that little voice that's whispering, or maybe it's starting to be a little bit louder, that says, This isn't what I want anymore. What I would invite is that you just start to let that voice out of your own mind. That whether it is with a really close friend who's so good at just sitting and listening, and not giving feedback, or a partner, maybe it's a colleague or someone who's been through this before, a mentor. And if you don't have that person, if you can't think of someone that this feels like a safe place to share with, then at least write it down. At least journal, get those ideas out of your mind so that your voice has a place to say, This is what I really want. I think many of us, especially in business where other people are depending on us, our families are depending on us for that security, that financial peace, our employees are depending on us to be that leader in our business, especially if we've done it well, it can be really hard sometimes to quiet those voices and to just hear your own. You might need to spend some quality time by yourself in silence until you can truly hear your own voice.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:53] The next thing that I think is really helpful is to then acknowledge all of the other voices that come in. When you start to write down what your dreams are, what you're really craving in your life right now. The voices are going to speak up. You're going to hear the voice of your old boss, the voice of your parents, the voice of your partner, the voice of your kids, the voice of your employees. All of these noisy voices are going to come up. They're going to tell you what you should be doing. They're going to tell you this doesn't make sense. Maybe they're going to encourage you. Maybe you hear voices of someone going, yeah, you know, burn the boats, go for it. Write all of those thoughts down, dump them out, just like you're dumping out that big bucket. And then start to just acknowledge whose voice is that? Whose voice is that? Whose opinion is that? You might be surprised who shows up. It might be that old boyfriend from, you know, 11th grade that said something to you that just stuck.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:09] But as you look through the list of all of these voices that are in your head that are giving opinions on what you should or should not do, then I want you to lean in and decide, would you ask that person for advice? Would you trade them spots right now for their life? Do you acknowledge that they're living the type of life that you want to live? And if not, just like when you're listening and getting opinions on, you know, the new, latest and greatest cell phone, you can listen and say, thanks so much for the information, but I'm not interested right now. And just like that telemarketer, you're just going to kind of shut them down and push them out. So we want to acknowledge whose voice is that? Because sometimes we get confused and we might think that that's our own voice because it's been there so long that it sounds like your own. But when you give it a space and then you sort through and decide whose voice is that? And are you going to allow them to be a part of this decision as you move forward to this next phase? And then lastly, when you go through this process, you might not be able to see how this can even happen. If you're dreaming like I was about being able to leave my business, when I first started having that thought, when I first started journaling about it, I couldn't even imagine how that would happen.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:30] But then when you can just start to go, okay, why do I want that? What am I craving in my life right now that this big goal is connected to? What I could see is that part of that big goal was connected to the idea that I wanted to explore another creative side of myself. I was starting to have ideas for my coaching business, for doing more consulting, for helping other entrepreneurs follow their dreams. I was starting to come into this place of mentorship. I think part of that was my age, where I started to want to give back to the person that I was in those first ten years of my business. I wanted to be able to give back to that next generation rather than to stay in it. And this idea just started once I started speaking about it, once I started sharing it a little bit in safe places, I started to see ways that I could integrate this new thing that I wanted, this new place that I was craving. I wanted to have more freedom and flexibility. So I started exploring that within my company. I started being able to travel a little bit more while still being available to my team. I started being able to start letting go of some of the responsibilities and the tasks that I was taking on and moving those to other team members.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:53] So when we acknowledge what we really want, when we acknowledge what we really crave, we hear and give space for the voices that come in, that give us all of their opinions about what we should or shouldn't do. And then we really lean into the nitty gritty of that to say, are there elements, are there small steps, are there pieces of this next big why that I want to move towards in my own life to make the life that I crave? And how could I maybe take some small steps towards that in these next few months, maybe in this next week? This is how we can be constantly shifting and changing and developing the life that we really want. No matter where you are right now, no matter how far that dream or that new vision looks like, it might look like it is miles and miles away, it might be so foggy that you cannot see where you're going on this path, but these three steps can really help you to just start to navigate those next steps together and to give you, if nothing else, permission to give the voice to what is next for you so that you are captaining your own ship, you're taking the reins on what you want your destination to be, even if that means you're changing course a little bit or a lot. But to just start to give yourself some permission to visit your why.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:23] Now I listen back to so many celebrities, entrepreneurs, people who have achieved levels of success that many of us can only dream of. When you go back and you listen to your heroes, your mentors, the people who are doing incredible things with their lives, many, many times they didn't decide what they were doing when they were 19 or 20 and stay with that until they were late into their 70s. They shifted. They changed. Sometimes big, big changes. They moved to different countries. They changed industries. They changed jobs. They did incredibly different things with their lives. But this is the path, I am sure of it. This is the path to making your life incredible and to developing things that really change our world for the better. You are leading the way. You are paving the way for that next generation of 19 and 20 year olds who are still believing that they have to decide what their life is going to look like at that stage. It's different now. We can show them this is the way to do it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:36] I am so glad you're here. Thanks for joining me in this conversation. If you found this podcast helpful, rate, and review the podcast. Please subscribe and follow. And if you are so inclined to take a screenshot, share it on your social media or send it to a friend, I want to build this community of people who are living bravely, who are creating lives that they crave but we're doing it together. Thanks so much for being here. Chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:07] If you like what you've been hearing on the podcast and you would like to do a deep dive with me into your business, I have an invitation for you. This fall, October 2023, I'm going to be launching the Anchored Leadership Group Coaching program. This is a chance for entrepreneurs who are beyond the start-up phase of business. You already have paying customers or people who are buying your products. You've already gone through that gritty start-up phase and now you're at the place where you want to grow. You want to go to that next level without working more hours or stretching yourself any further. You know that that is not sustainable. People have told you maybe that you need to start delegating or you need to start building your team. This is how you're going to do that. We are going to talk about everything from how you can explain your vision to someone else on your team so that you don't lose the things that make your business uniquely you. You don't lose efficiency. You don't lose the quality of the services that your customers or clients have come to depend on. You're able to give feedback confidently, maybe when things don't go quite according to plan. We're going to talk about marketing and possibly rebranding as you start to build your team and your network. We're going to talk about relationships and how to intentionally use networking in your business. If these sound like things that are intriguing to you, let's just hop on a call together. Go to my website at BeTheAnchor.ca. All of the information is there, and you can book a discovery call with me. This is a chance for you to ask any questions that you have and to just find out if this feels like a good fit. Again, go to my website. BeTheAnchor.ca.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Trailer: Be the Anchor

info@betheanchor.ca (Kari Lotzien) — Tue, 22 Aug 2023 07:00:00 +0000

A podcast for visionaries, entrepreneurs and people who dream big. We talk about getting real with yourself, doing the hard work and we share some insights and lessons learned along the way.
—

Contact Kari Lotzien, Be the Anchor:

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.