If you have been disappointed, hurt, or exhausted in dating, it can be easy to make men the problem. But that story only takes you so far. In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks the deeper truth: the issue is not simply who you meet — it is what you keep overlooking, excusing, minimizing, or tolerating once the pattern begins to reveal itself.

Because the real cost is not just one wrong man. It is the emotional, mental, and energetic price of staying too long in dynamics that were never fully aligned. This conversation is about taking your power back without blame, bitterness, or denial.

In this episode:

• why blaming men can keep you disconnected from your real power
• how toleration becomes the doorway to repeating the same dating pattern
• why smart women often override what they know in the name of potential, chemistry, or hope
• how to recognize the cost of staying too long and start choosing differently with clarity and self-trust

IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED

You’re not alone. Share it with another woman who is ready to stop tolerating what costs her peace, power, and self-trust.

ABOUT THE PODCAST

Better After Divorce with Coach Ivy is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously so they can choose what comes next — on their terms.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Take the Relationship Pattern Quiz
Join Office Hours Live Wednesdays at 7 PM ET
 

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

What you excuse in the beginning rarely stays small.

In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks how women quietly tolerate subtle inconsistency, mixed signals, and low-grade confusion in the early stages of dating - especially when the chemistry feels good. Because the pattern rarely begins with one giant red flag. It begins with the small things you explain away, excuse, or talk yourself out of honoring. And over time, those small tolerations can become the relationship itself.

In this episode:

• why the small things in the beginning matter more than women want to admit
• how chemistry can make inconsistency easier to excuse
• what “somewhat inconsistent” actually looks like in real life
• why women tolerate what does not feel safe; and
• how self-trust is rebuilt by honoring the small things sooner

IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED
You’re not alone. Share it with another smart woman who is ready to understand her dating patterns and choose differently.

ABOUT THE PODCAST
Better After Divorce is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously so they can choose what comes next - on their terms.

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Take the Free Dating Pattern Quiz
Book an Archetype Breakthrough Session
Join Office Hours Live (Wednesdays at 7 PM ET)

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

Just because it pulls you in doesn’t mean it fits.

In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks the difference between attraction and alignment - and why so many smart, self-aware women still find themselves drawn to dynamics that are emotionally familiar but not actually good for them. Because chemistry can feel powerful, immediate, and real... and still have nothing to do with compatibility.

In this episode:

• why attraction does not always mean alignment
• how chemistry can be familiarity in a sexier package
• why knowing something is off is not always enough to break the pattern
• how to date with more discernment, clarity, and self-trust

IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED
You’re not alone. Share it with another smart woman who is ready to understand her dating patterns and choose differently.

ABOUT THE PODCAST
Better After Divorce is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and date more consciously so they can choose what comes next - on their terms.

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Take the Free Dating Pattern Quiz
Join Office Hours Live (Wednesdays at 7 PM ET)

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

Do You Have a Type… Or a Pattern?

Most smart women know their type.

The potential guy.
The unavailable one.
The emotionally complicated one.

But what many don’t realize is this:

Sometimes what we call our type is actually a pattern we haven’t recognized yet.

In this episode, Coach Ivy breaks down how to tell the difference between attraction and familiarity, and shares three signs your type may actually be a repeating relationship dynamic.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering:
"How did I end up here again?"

This episode will help you start seeing what might be happening underneath the connection.

In this episode:
• The difference between chemistry and familiarity
• The 3 signs you may be in a dating pattern
• Why smart women often miss patterns
• Two simple shifts that help you start choosing differently

If you want to better understand your own relationship pattern, you can start by taking the Relationship Pattern Quiz here:

You can also join Coach Ivy’s live weekly Office Hours (linked here) conversations or explore a Pattern Insight Session (linked here).

IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED

You’re not alone.  Share it with another smart woman who is ready to understand her dating patterns and choose differently.

About the Podcast

Better After Divorce is where smart, self-aware women come to understand their relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and consciously choose what comes next.

Because the better it gets… the better it gets.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Take the Free Dating Pattern Quiz

Book a Pattern Breakthrough Session

Join Office Hours Live (Wednesdays @7PM EST)

IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy

Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

In this episode, Coach Ivy explains why this happens and how to recognize dating patterns earlier so you can make different choices.

You’ll learn why what feels like chemistry is sometimes familiarity, how relationship dynamics form between two people, and the simple three-step shift that helps women stop repeating the past.

If you’ve ever wondered “How did I end up here again?” this conversation will give you a new way to understand your dating experiences.

IN THIS EPISODE WE COVER

• Why different partners can still create the same relationship experience
• The difference between chemistry and familiarity
• How dating patterns form through relationship dynamics
• Why slowing down helps you see patterns sooner
• The Notice – Name – Choose framework for changing patterns
• How self-awareness helps you choose partnership consciously

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Sometimes what we interpret as chemistry is actually pattern recognition.
• Patterns often live in the dynamic between two people, not just in one partner.
• Clarity comes from slowing down long enough to observe the relationship.

Change happens when you:  Notice the pattern → Name the dynamic → Choose differently.

IF THIS EPISODE RESONATED

Share it with another smart woman who is ready to understand her dating patterns and choose differently.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Take the Free Dating Pattern Quiz

Book an Archetype Breakthrough Session

Join Office Hours Live (Wednesdays @7PM EST)

IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy

Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

If you’ve been feeling different lately — more discerning, less tolerant, unsure why things don’t fit the way they used to — this episode is for you.

After an ending, many women assume something is wrong. But what’s actually happening is identity recalibration.

In this episode, Coach Ivy explores why feeling different after an ending — divorce, a long chapter closing, or a major life shift — isn’t a problem to fix. It’s information. And more importantly, it’s wisdom.

You’ll learn:

• Why high-achieving women feel identity shifts more intensely
• What changes in your nervous system after an ending
• Why motivation and advice don’t work during reinvention
• How archetypes reveal the inner wisdom that’s been guiding you all along

Coach Ivy walks through the Lioness, Matriarch, Empath, Seeker, and Valkyrie archetypes — showing how each one responds after an ending not as a flaw, but as an intelligent adaptation.

This episode isn’t about fixing yourself or rushing clarity.
It’s about understanding who you are now — and trusting the wisdom that brought you here.

👉 Take the Archetype Quiz

✨ Go Deeper (Optional)

For women seeking deeper clarity, Coach Ivy offers the Archetype Breakthrough Session, a personalized coaching session to understand how your archetype leads, heals, and wants to move forward now.

👉 Learn more about the Breakthrough Session

If you want to talk it through before deciding, you can always book your Decision Call — a grounded conversation to confirm your next step, now, later, or not at all.

👉 Book your Decision Call

Screen shot this episode and share your archetype or what shifted for you.

IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

This episode isn’t a recap or a resolution.

It’s a pause.

In The In-Between, Coach Ivy explores the quiet space between survival and momentum — and why you don’t need to rush into the new year to begin again.

If you’ve been holding everything together and feel resistant to pressure, this episode offers reassurance, orientation, and permission to move forward differently — from alignment, not urgency.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why the in-between phase can feel uncomfortable

• The difference between rest and orientation

• Why clarity can’t be forced after survival seasons

• One gentle question to carry into the new year

--------------------------------

REFLECTION: What feels true for me right now — without fixing it?

--------------------------------

If this episode resonated, you may want to discover which Empowerment Archetype is guiding your next chapter.

Take the 2-minute quiz to gain clarity on what’s shifting — and what’s calling you forward.

✨ Take the Empowerment Archetype Quiz

✨ Book your Archetype Breakthrough Session to go deeper.

Your epic next chapter is closer than you think.

Screen shot this episode and share your archetype!

IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

In this episode, Coach Ivy unpacks one of the most common — and least talked about — experiences after divorce: feeling stuck.

You’ll learn why this happens even to the strongest women, what “post-survival stagnation” really is, and how your Empowerment Archetype explains the patterns, emotions, and blocks that are keeping you from moving forward.

Ivy breaks down how each archetype gets stuck differently, what your system needs to feel safe again, and the shift your next chapter is calling you toward.

If you’ve ever thought, “I survived all of that… so why can’t I move now?” — this episode will help you understand why.

✨ Take the Empowerment Archetype Quiz

✨ Book your Archetype Breakthrough Session to go deeper.

Your epic next chapter is closer than you think.

Screen shot this episode and share your archetype!

IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

Now, after divorce or reinvention, she’s finally asking:
“What does healing look like when it’s my turn?”

Inside this powerful conversation, you’ll discover:
✨ The light and shadow sides of the Empath
✨ Why she absorbs emotions that aren’t hers
✨ How divorce reveals the emotional labor she carried alone
✨ What it looks like when she finally turns her empathy inward
✨ The practices that help her evolve into emotional sovereignty
✨ Pop culture examples that bring the Empath to life (Oprah, Carrie Bradshaw, Deanna Troi)

This episode is a permission slip to stop being everyone’s emotional first responder…and become your own healer.

Take the Archetype Quiz here: ⁠⁠Show Me My Archetype⁠⁠

Download the Archetype Guide here: ⁠The Empowerment Archetype Guide⁠

Screen shot this episode and share your archetype!

IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

This is part of The 5 Empowerment Archetypes series, and today, we’re stepping into The Valkyrie — the warrior of reinvention. She’s the woman who has endured battles, rebuilt herself, and learned to stand tall even when everything around her was falling apart. The Valkyrie teaches us that strength isn’t just about survival — it’s about choosing a life where you no longer have to fight for every inch.

You’ll uncover the light side of the Valkyrie — courage, clarity, decisiveness, and fierce self-protection — as well as the shadow side, which can look like hyper-independence, distrust, emotional walls, or staying in “battle mode” long after the war is over. Then we’ll explore what it means to evolve this archetype — to soften without losing your edge, to be powerful without being on guard, and to build a life filled with peace, pleasure, and support.

If you’ve ever been the woman who had to be her own rescuer, this episode will remind you: your strength got you here… but your softness is what will shape your next chapter.

Take the Archetype Quiz here: ⁠⁠Show Me My Archetype⁠⁠

Download the Archetype Guide here: ⁠The Empowerment Archetype Guide⁠

Screen shot this episode and share your archetype!

IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

In this episode of The 5 Empowerment Archetypes series, we explore The Seeker — the woman standing at the crossroads between who she was and who she’s becoming.

She’s the one who’s done surviving, done performing, and finally ready to rediscover herself — not by returning to the past, but by daring to get curious about what’s next.

The Seeker teaches us that clarity doesn’t come from waiting — it comes from moving.

You’ll uncover the light side of The Seeker — curious, open, adventurous, and willing to explore the unknown — and the shadow side, where restlessness, distraction, or self-doubt can keep her endlessly searching for “the answer.”

We’ll also explore her evolution — the moment she realizes that her power isn’t in finding herself, but in creating herself.

This is where curiosity becomes her compass, and every question becomes a breadcrumb leading her home.

If you’ve ever felt caught in the in-between — no longer who you were, but not yet who you’re becoming — this episode will remind you:

you’re not lost, Queen…you’re exploring. 🌿

Take the Archetype Quiz here: ⁠⁠Show Me My Archetype⁠⁠

Download the Archetype Guide here: ⁠The Empowerment Archetype Guide⁠

Screen shot this episode and share your archetype!

IG: ⁠⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

In this episode of The 5 Empowerment Archetypes series, we explore The Matriarch — the woman whose strength, grace, and grounded wisdom have held families, careers, and communities together. But what happens when it’s her turn to be held?

The Matriarch teaches us that true power isn’t just about holding it all together — it’s about knowing when to let go. You’ll discover the light side of The Matriarch — nurturing, wise, and emotionally grounded — and the shadow side that can appear as over-responsibility, control, or confusion between being needed and being loved.

We’ll also explore her evolution — the moment she begins to reclaim her energy, release the need to fix, and turn her nurturing inward. This is where she becomes her own safe place — a woman who leads from fullness, not fatigue.

If you’ve ever been the emotional anchor, the fixer, or the one who keeps everyone else steady, this episode will remind you: you deserve the same love, care, and devotion you give so freely to others.

Take the Archetype Quiz here: ⁠Show Me My Archetype⁠

Download the Archetype Guide here: The Empowerment Archetype Guide

Screen shot this episode and share your archetype!

IG: ⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

This is part 2 of The 5 Empowerment Archetypes, we explore the Lioness — the embodiment of strength, power, and fierce devotion. After life’s upheavals, especially divorce, the Lioness teaches us how to rise — not by returning to who we were, but by embracing a new kind of power rooted in wisdom, boundaries, and heart-led leadership.

You’ll uncover the light side of the Lioness — courage, confidence, and loyalty — and the shadow side that can show up as control, pride, or exhaustion when she feels unsafe or unseen. Then we’ll explore what it means to rise differently — to soften without losing strength, to lead without overgiving, and to walk with grace instead of grit alone.

If you’ve ever been the one who had to hold it all together, this episode will remind you: your roar doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful.

Take the Archetype Quiz here: ⁠Show Me My Archetype⁠

Download the Archetype Guide here: The Empowerment Archetype Guide

Screen shot this episode and share your archetype!

IG: ⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

Screen shot this episode and share your archetype!

IG: ⁠⁠@coachivyallen⁠⁠

FB: ⁠⁠CoachIvy⁠⁠

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

::

Download my free workbook ⁠Unstoppable You: Reclaim Your Confidence, Career & Cash Flow⁠. 

::

Let's stay connected!

FB: ⁠CoachIvy⁠

IG: ⁠@coachivyallen⁠

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Take this free test to find out your top 5 strengths: High5 Strengths Test

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Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

Click here to join Coach Ivy for a VIP Day in 2025!

Connect with Coach Ivy!

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Valencia Johnson is a fitness professional with over 10 years of experience helping women reclaim their confidence with 30-minute workouts and simple nutrition. Proud mother of three Valencia works with her clients to make sure they are prioritizing the health and wellbeing so they can become better moms, women, and create the confidence they desire.

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST:

• IG: @evolvewithvalencia
• FB: @evolvewithvalencia
• FB Group: EvolveU

EPISODE RESOURCES

• Join Coach Ivy’s VIP Mailing List
• DM Me on IG: @coachivyallen

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Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

coach dedicated to helping professional women heal from the pain and shame of divorce. We

explore what it’s like to go through the process overcoming the feelings of isolation,

rediscovering yourself, and creating a new identity after divorce.

Shaletha an author, entrepreneur, speaker, mom and founder of Creative Link Coaching, has

been successfully coaching women through empowering, educating and encouraging them to

rebuild and restore their lives during their divorce transition. She provides life strategies to

professional women who are going through divorce through coaching and mentoring.

CONNECT WITH MY GUEST:

 IG: @divorcecoach_

 FB: Shaletha Lynn Marshall

 YouTube: Shaletha Marshal

 Website: shalethamarshall.com

 Pick Up the Book/Other Products: 23 Positive Affirmations to Love Yourself After

Divorce

EPISODE RESOURCES

 Join Coach Ivy’s VIP Mailing List

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Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

Connect to Tara here:

Facebook.com/author.taraeisenhard

Twitter.com/taraeisenhard

Instagram.com/taraeisenhard

tiktok.com/@Divorcecoach

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Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

She uses her vast experience as an in ministry, nursing leadership, and a wife, a mother, and a grandmother to support her in breaking down barriers for women.

You do not want to miss this authentic, engaging, very real conversation with Coach Fee

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Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

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Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

We’ll be dropping the tea on how to: Make budgeting, spending, and saving money easy, so you can make better decisions -- and get off the dreaded monthly the emotional roller coaster; Use the new “Pay Yourself First” model to work out exactly what you can pay yourself now so you can commit and stick to your plan for the long term; and Finally put an end blame, shame, avoidance, fear your money.

Not only will you walk away knowing how to make the most of your money right now, you’ll be able to use that knowledge to actually put more money into your pocket, and start living life today.

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
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Substack: Better Dating After Divorce

Sick of the money two-step i.e., one step forward, three steps back?

Are you finally ready to serve your limiting money beliefs divorce papers!

Then join me and my guest, Psychotherapist, Natolie Warren for an empowering conversation.

CONNECT WITH COACH IVY
Instagram: @coachivyallen
Facebook: CoachIvy
Substack: Better Dating After Divorce