Says Who?

PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 8 Apr 2026 17:01:11 +0000

Dan and Maureen get together on this Wednesday morning (a day later than usual) to break down the important things: Maureen’s new kitchen blind, a planner from Staples, possible nuclear war, mysterious fried chicken smells, the blessed air purifier, a head of FEMA teleporting to a Waffle House, and the power of commenting online.

Considering the week we've all had, it’s actually pretty positive.

Don’t give up, SaysWhovia. Come dance with us. You’ve got the music in you.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WHERE THERE'S SMOKE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 1 Apr 2026 05:05:00 +0000

Dan has been out on the road working on his book and now he is tired. Also, he has not been looking at the news. But Maureen has a story that summarizes all he, and SaysWhovia, needs to know.

Hold on to your butts, SaysWhovia.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A JAR IN A SKIRT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 05:05:00 +0000

How’s anyone supposed to cope with things these days? The war? The chaos? The madman in charge? So many problems! Dan is worried.

Everybody relax, because Maureen has an idea.

Nice deep inhale, SaysWhovia. Everything’s going to be fine now.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SHOES, YOU LOSE!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 11 Mar 2026 05:05:00 +0000

What’s that sound, SaysWhovia? Why, that’s the sound of tiny shoes and great big shoes—shoes of every size, tapping all over the White House! Special Correspondent A.C. Shoe reports from the remains of the East Wing, where there’s something afoot!

Seriously, this week is terrible so we’re going to talk about Trump’s weird shoe thing.

Step inside, SaysWhovia! The shoe might not fit, but wear it anyway!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SECOND GUY AND THE THIRD GUY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 Mar 2026 06:05:00 +0000

Maureen has pneumonia and now she and Dan are going to try to explain the war, and also 2001: A Space Odyssey.

This is one of those episodes, SaysWhovia.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ONE LITTLE PEPPERCORN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 25 Feb 2026 06:05:00 +0000

Maureen is sick. Just a little sick! Dan wants her to back to bed, but Maureen has too many stories to tell…stories of princes, Lords of Darkness, arcane rituals, and houses that cost a single peppercorn. The UK is full of intrigue!

Meanwhile, it’s all pizza and beer and war over in the US. Why can’t we get a magical house for a single peppercorn or have a prince that’s called the c***?

Get cozy under this blanket, SaysWhovia. It’s story time!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WHAT THE *&@$ HAPPENED TO PAM

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 06:05:00 +0000

It’s Maureen’s birthday week! She’s spending it in her signature style—walking maybe too far, biting off more than she can chew, and organizing her notebooks.

Meanwhile, Dan has been enjoying a little summery weather in the middle of the cold winter. While he was out, he heard a story. He wants to share it with Maureen, because Maureen loves stories. And dogs. Maureen loves dogs. And so, apparently, does Pam Bondi.

Also, these aren't bright people and things got out of hand.

Quick, get the balloons, SaysWhovia!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TOO MANY DUCKS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 11 Feb 2026 06:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are easing into February with clear heads and warm hearts. It’s basically still New Year’s, so Maureen is talking planners! But in an okay way. She really has a grip on it now. The problem, actually—or the subject—is ducks, and their organization. Sometimes, you just have too many!

Speaking of too many—there are too many Epstein files and too many terrible things in them, but in some places, like the UK, they matter! And things are happening. Lots of things. Lots of things are still happening in Minneapolis as well—and in other places.

But never mind all of that! Trump is mad about the Super Bowl.

Gather ye ducks, SaysWhovia. Gather ye ducks!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MAUREEN'S ROCKS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 Feb 2026 06:05:00 +0000

So it turns out Maureen has been collecting rocks all this time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ICE ICE BABY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Thu, 29 Jan 2026 21:44:57 +0000

SaysWhovia! We are back. Well, Dan has been here all along suffering through *waves hands in all directions* with the rest of you. But Maureen? Maureen has been away! Offline! Disconnected! And she's made a big mistake:

She came back.

Welcome to hell.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

INTO THE PIT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 14 Jan 2026 06:05:00 +0000

2026 has arrived on the stage with a lot to prove. Thirteen days in, Dan and Maureen try to parse it all, and they have an idea: bear holes.

Get digging, SaysWhovia.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NO DIRECTION

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker., Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 7 Jan 2026 06:05:00 +0000

Welcome to 2026?

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MAUREENOLOGUE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 31 Dec 2025 06:05:00 +0000

It's the end of the year and Maureen has some things to say.

Happy New Year?

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BIG MUG

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 06:05:00 +0000

This week, as 2025 draws to a close after an astonishing 11 month run, Dan and Maureen find themselves the holiday spirit. Maureen has a great big mug from the SaysWho shop that she can barely lift. That’s because she hasn’t been working out in the new airport gyms. She needs to do her pull-ups! Yes, the powers that be are closing out 2025—not by bringing peace or prosperity or health care—but by telling Americans we are disgusting and have to dress nicer on planes. And work out more at the gate. Sure, why not.

But sometimes, people on planes are disgusting.

Now put on a hat and get on that treadmill, SaysWhovia. We have a flight to catch.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GARBAGE BRAGS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 3 Dec 2025 06:05:00 +0000

This week, Maureen and Dan had to record on Monday, so whatever weird stuff happened on Tuesday, they don’t know about. Don’t tell them. No spoilers.

Because this episode is about wonderful things. Maureen has a magical encounter with a SaysWhovian. Dan’s wonderful holiday stockings are flying off the virtual shelves. Books are good! And New York City emerges once again as the best city in the world, because NYC showed up when ICE tried to come to play and caged them in a parking lot. With the garbage bags that Dan is always complaining about. It’s the redemption arc, and we’re all here for it.

Plus: capitalism! And war? (?????) Again, no spoilers!

Grab that trash, SaysWhovia. Let’s go fight fascism.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

AMERICAN CANYON

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 26 Nov 2025 06:05:00 +0000

Gobble gobble! It’s pretty much Thanksgiving! This week, Dan and Maureen are reflecting on 2025 so far. Like Trump falling in love with Mamdani. Stuff like that. Also, is stuffing any good? But really, Dan is trying to catch a fly. 90% of this episode is Dan trying to catch a fly, which has got to be a metaphor for something. And since we’re talking metaphors, Maureen reads from more of the Nuzzi/Lizza saga because nothing brings a good Thanksgiving meal to an end than a poem that will abolsutely make you barf.

Grab a plate, SaysWhovia. It’s time to eat.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WE DID NUZZI THIS COMING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 19 Nov 2025 06:05:00 +0000

Hey, SaysWhovia, are you ready for a little extra this week? This is the Fish Delight of Says Who—50% more—and all of it rich and filling! Come with us as we find out what’s happening with the Epstein emails. Then, Trump finally gets to meet his heroes at McDonalds. And then… then Dan and Maureen really get into it.

Because this time we’re going back to someone who was a guest on this very show back in the beginning. We’re going to find out all about Olivia Nuzzi’s new book, American Canto, about her love affair with RFK. Dan wants to read some of it to Maureen, who does not want to be on the receiving end. And just when you think it’s over, the bamboo-riddled reply comes in. This is a story of dirtbag love, terrible ideas, and even worse writing.

Grab your McDonald’s Coke and get ready for a bad romance, SayWhovia.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

OKAY FRODO

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 12 Nov 2025 06:05:00 +0000

This week, Maureen is on her way to Iceland, and Dan is in Chicagoland, where the battle rages on. Time to talk about the ACA and the Democrats in general! Which is going to be spicy!

Grab a puffin, SaysWhovia. It’s time to get real.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

OYSTERS!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 5 Nov 2025 06:05:00 +0000

Surprise! It was Maureen’s mom’s birthday. She is in PA. There was a party. Actually, there was more than one party. Maureen is still there, so things are going great. She wishes she was in NYC to watch NYC try to get its first non-clown mayor. You already know what happened, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen are in the dark.

Meanwhile, Dan has split his time between helping people in Chicago, which is still under occupation, and doing his job. It’s a lot! Good thing the government is working and no one has to worry about ACA premiums or…

Ah. Wait. Nevermind.

Still, it’s not all bad. And it’s such a beautiful fall day! Like Dan and Maureen learned at exactly this time last year—nothing can go wrong now!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FLYING ON ONE WING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are back after an unexpected absence (last week’s episode had to go to the Secret Place). A lot has happened! Maureen is trying to make a fake restaurant. Dan drove around with a ghost. No one is sleeping! Meanwhile, the Battle of Chicago is real and raging on. Dan reports in. NYC gets ready for the big election. Also, Trump got mad and tore down the East Wing of the White House in a move no one knew you could do.

But Dan and Maureen want to talk about tacos, planners, acupuncture, and the power of healthy habits—healthy habits being tacos, planners, and acupuncture.

Put on your hard hat, SaysWhovia. The wrecking ball swings low.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

392th BONUS EPISODE SPECTAULAR!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 15 Oct 2025 05:05:00 +0000

In 2016, two babies sat down to make an eight episode podcast. Now, on episode 400, they reflect on all the things they didn’t know going into this idea—namely, anything. They didn’t know anything. How would they have dealt with street kidnappings, COVID, an increasingly unhinged Trump marauding the land? Probably not well!

Also, Dan is now writing a book, and Maureen has seen some new planners.

Come with us, SaysWhovia, as we reflect. And talk about office supplies.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

300 FOOT SKELETON

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 8 Oct 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Dan hates Illinois Nazis.

But there here, so we're gonna have to deal with them.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FAT BATTLESHIPS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 2 Oct 2025 05:05:00 +0000

It's been a week, Sayswhovia.

Week.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

INFLATE THE BABY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 24 Sep 2025 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovia, some weeks come with too much filling. The news oozes out and gets all over your clothes. This was such a week. And like two people unwittingly and unwillingly taking place in a restaurant challenge, Dan and Maureen have to eat the whole thing. Where to start? The end of non-censored comedy and commentary? Openly listing crimes on social media? Handfuls of cash? A creepy love story? Complaining about escalators at the UN while telling all the other countries they suck? Claiming babies are being jacked with buckets of random substances? Trump trying to say the word “acetaminophen”?

How do you eat something like that? One disgusting bite at a time.

Get the Tums ready, SaysWhovia. We’re going home with that commemorative plate.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DIVER DOWN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 17 Sep 2025 05:05:00 +0000

OK yes that thing happened, you know the one. But did you hear about the scuba diver thief at Disney World????

Maureen has a book out, awful news happened, and $10k is missing from a paddleboat in Disney Springs.

This certainly sounds like an episode of Says Who, doesn't it.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NUMBER NINE NUMBER NINE NUMBER NINE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 10 Sep 2025 20:02:03 +0000

Nine years ago Maureen and Dan sat down to record an eight episode podcast. Mistakes were made.

Here they are, 395 episodes later, while Maureen is in the midst of finishing yet another book, to talk about... whatever fresh hell we all find ourselves in.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MR. GIULIANI'S WILD RIDE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 3 Sep 2025 05:05:00 +0000

We know why you came this week, and we are here to deliver.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

UTAH COTTON

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 27 Aug 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are back! Well, Maureen is still where she was and Dan is still not home, but they are back in SaysWhovia at the end of Dan’s Very Bad, No Good Summer. Dan needs a nap and a hug. He has stories from the American road, though. Have you heard about the vast cotton fields of Utah?

Meanwhile, two of his favorite things: the postal system and Chicago are being threatened. New York did a fun thing! Which is nice, because New York is probably about to do some much less fun things in the coming weeks. It’s going to be a weird time in Chicago and New York. Which city will win?

Get in line at the breakfast buffet, SaysWhovia. It’s going to be a long trip. Eat up.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ROAD ARMOR

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Thu, 14 Aug 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Sometimes you find a mace on the road, SaysWhovia.

It’s 2025. Pick it up.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

UP ON THE ROOF

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 6 Aug 2025 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovia, Dan needs a hug. Maureen, however, is fine and has the receipts to prove it. Everything is very normal and very cool with her. Also, with Trump, who is on the roof of the White House for very normal reasons. Also, we’re going to build a nuclear reactor on the moon! Which is like the roof of the earth, if you think about it long enough. Everything is going up, up, up! Except for Dan’s current timeline, which is why we are all going to give him a hug.

Get a blanket, SaysWhovia. It’s roof time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DROWN ONE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 31 Jul 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen is back from the green, green fields of England and has brought a whole new outlook! She saw a cow. Everything is better now. But she did have to explain America to a lot of English people, which was tricky. It’s all about the rollercoasters. Meanwhile, Dan has been holding down the fort. He’s fine. He’s great! He wants to talk to Maureen about soccer, because anything is better than dealing 2025. It’s the Says Who Summer Vacation Experience.

Hold on to the safety bar, SaysWhovia. No one has safety checked this ride.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ENGLAND'S DREAMING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 16 Jul 2025 05:05:00 +0000

This week, Maureen is in England, where not everything is terrible. There’s tea at four. Birds are singing in the trees. A gentle breeze blows through the air. No one is being fed to alligators. Dan is in the Bad Place still, and wants Maureen to know what has been going on. Everyone is looking for the Epstein files. Trump can dismantle the government, and also, he stole a trophy! Maureen should stay where she is, feeding Marmite sandwiches to ponies.

Have a cup of tea, SaysWhovia. Things, as Maureen points out, are only getting started.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BADGER WATCH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 9 Jul 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Hey Sayswhovia! It is hot and it is bad and Maureen and Dan are here to help (???) you through it.

And hey, as bad as things are, at least you're not Dan, whose teeth keep falling out.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BUTTER DEMON CASTLE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 2 Jul 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Welcome back to regular Says Who service as Dan’s schedule starts to regulate.

And good things are happening! Maureen is sewing and making froyo. Dan and Son of Dan made a video game controller out of garbage! That’s great!

And there’s a bill! A big, monster of a bill, slouching toward the House. Trump and Elon are fighting again, and we finally made our first concentration camp. USA!

So let’s talk about demons, tiny crocheted babies, and a hot new show that’s going to change everything.

Please take your seats, Says Whovia. Our flight to nowhere is about to take off, but we are on it together.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE FIVE CUOMOS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 25 Jun 2025 05:05:00 +0000

It sure is hot out there, SaysWhovia.

Especially in NYC, where Maureen has been out voting. Dan has thoughts on this, because he always has thoughts on New York and the mayor situation. This all turns out to be about sandwiches. Also, war! Maureen makes dog food!

Wear sunscreen, SaysWhovia. Conditions are warming up.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE PUDDING HOUR

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Dan had a genuinely rough week, SaysWhovia. We’re going to have a relaxing episode with some pudding and a nice parade. A big parade. Huge. And maybe an old friend will come and sing us a song.

Let’s take care of each other, SaysWhovia, and let’s have some pudding.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 Jun 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Everything is going great SaysWhovia. Maureen's brain is shorting out as her deadline grows near, the recording connection keeps freezing up, and Elon's popping 20 pills a day. Oh also, he has a black eye. And is definitely not high.

It's fine. Everything's fine.

Wolfy's!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NO ONE WANTS YOUR PANTS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 28 May 2025 05:05:00 +0000

It’s been a messy start to today, SayWhovia. Literally. But we’re going to get through it together.

Because this week, we have a delicious meal to serve up, straight from the best kitchens of the Trump golf courses. Or, from a kitchen of a Trump golf course. Come learn about the new grift!

And if you feel like you’re in too deep, Dan and Maureen will send one of the new Eric Adams lifeguard drones. It won’t save you—but it will soothe you.

Come sit down, SaysWhovia. It’s time to eat.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GOOD LUCK BOSS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 21 May 2025 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovia! Maureen is off to become a lobbiest (no really) and Dan is back in Chicago—home of The Pope, did you hear—and Bruce Springsteen is on tour out of the country where apparently he might want to stay because Donald Trump is Super Big Mad about things he said, which is a normal thing that happens. In fact, lots of normal things are happening, like RFK Junior swimming in sewage, Donald Trump being followed around the Middle East by a roving McDonalds, and JD Vance trying to kill the new Pople, who is from Chicago if you haven't heard.

Anyway, nobody's at The Friends Expereince anymore

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THE ONE WHERE DAN GOES TO THE FRIENDS EXPERIENCE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 14 May 2025 17:30:45 +0000

Dan was in New York over the weekend and Maureen wanted to give him a window into authentic NYC living by taking him to The Friends Experience. Yes, the TV show that Dan has never seen.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NO NO SOAPY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 7 May 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen is in Philadelphia, enjoying the greenery and the ticks. Dan is in Chicago, enjoying his basement. And tariffs. Yes, it’s Tariff Talking Time! How do you put a tariff on a movie? We’re about to find out maybe!

Also, If you’ve been planning on getting into hacking, now is a great time. The US is operating on tutorial level. Now you too can read state secrets!

Everything is generally smart and good and running well.

Stock up on fireworks and get over here, SaysWhovia. We’re going to read some texts!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WHAT A MARKER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 30 Apr 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen think you need a break. They want to talk to you about some good television and games. Give your mind a rest. Renew yourself. Also, Trump and Elon are taking a break, so there’s the tie in! Also, Maureen wants to take Dan to the Friends Experience and explain to him what “we were on a break!” is about! He has no idea!

Also, tariffs! Canada! And beans!

So much about beans.

Sit down, SaysWhovia. Grab a fork. Maureen’s cooking up a pot of something oblong and high in protein!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DEATHVANCE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 23 Apr 2025 05:05:00 +0000

You guys.

He killed the Pope.

Preorder The Creeping Hand Murder here: https://www.mysteriousbookshop.com/products/maureen-johnson-jay-cooper-you-are-the-detective-the-creeping-hand-murder-preorder-signed?_pos=2&_sid=266ae0085&_ss=r

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SOUP BUCKET

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Akilah Hughes, Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 16 Apr 2025 05:05:00 +0000

This week, Dan and Maureen are joined by Akilah Hughes to talk about…something.

Akilah and Dan definitely want to talk about something, but they’re being so cagey about it.

VOTE REBEL SPIRIT here: https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2025/podcasts/limited-series-specials/diversity-equity-inclusion-belonging

And preorder The Creeping Hand Murder here: https://www.mysteriousbookshop.com/products/maureen-johnson-jay-cooper-you-are-the-detective-the-creeping-hand-murder-preorder-signed?_pos=2&_sid=266ae0085&_ss=r

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MEAT ON THAT RAT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 9 Apr 2025 05:05:00 +0000

It's Tariff Time over in SaysWhovia! Let's all celebrate the return of American manufacturing, which is absolutely going to happen.

Also, please help Dan. He is not okay.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

STRETCH THAT LENTIL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 2 Apr 2025 05:05:00 +0000

We don’t know what the Day of Liberation holds for the economy, but obviously it’s going to be great.

Right now, Cory Booker is still talking, health services are shutting down, and it’s maybe too much to take in in one bite. Small bites, SaysWhovia. Share the load. Work in shifts. Take a walk. Come to Maureen’s for dinner. She can stretch a lentil.

Grab a spoon, SaysWhovia. It’s time to eat!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

RATSIGNAL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 26 Mar 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Check your phone, SaysWhovia. You're in the groupchat.

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MEET THE BAILEYS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovia, you have no idea how deep this one goes. Hang on.

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THE SHERIFF OF SAYSWHOVIA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 12 Mar 2025 05:05:00 +0000

Whoooo, there is a lot going on. It’s not great! Maureen got distracted and put her phone in the wash. She is maybe not okay. Also, she has fallen in love with a puppet. Dan swings in with the news, which isn’t all bad. There are a lot of Teslas on fire! But also, there is a lot of bad. But don’t worry. Something truly magical happens near the end that Dan really, really loves.

Let your horse get a drink out in the barn and pull up a seat here at the bar, partner. We’re drinking XXX out of our boots. Come meet the Sheriff of SaysWhovia.

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DARK POSITVITY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 5 Mar 2025 06:05:00 +0000

This week, Teslas are burning, no one is sleeping right, everything is falling apart, and Dan is…weirdly optimistic? Well, he’s invented something new, anyway.

Also, Maureen loves Guy’s Grocery Games.

Hop in, SaysWhovia! It’s only sort of on fire!

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BOLOGNA ON A TESLA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 06:05:00 +0000

It’s a new week in these new times, and you know what that means: MORE BULLSHIT!

But in the middle of the chaos, there is a light! People are striking back! It’s time for some delicious sabotage. Everyone is welcome to participate! Or perhaps you, dear SaysWhovian, would like to run DOGE? Opportunities abound.

Yes, it is bad, but people are doing the work. Take heart. Play bingo. Break their stuff.

Come on, SaysWhovia. Let’s go find some Teslas.

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RATBUSTERS!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 06:05:00 +0000

Somehow, SaysWhovia, we are still in the first month of this thing. Everything happens so much all the time now.

But hark!

Does Dan here clown goings-on in New York City? He does. Which means that it’s time to talk to Maureen about her home, the Greatest City In The World, the one with the clown crime mayor, the magic rocks, the rats, the endless construction, and the newest invention—the trash can. Because if Dan can’t clown on New York, then what CAN he do?

Chicago has news too. Chicago has better news, Dan wants Maureen to know.

Meanwhile…everything. But, this is about coping! Let’s get together and get a big green tower! Join us! Come in from the cold!

Hold hands and stay together at all times, SaysWhovia. There be dragons.

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DAN'S VERY BAD LIST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 12 Feb 2025 06:05:00 +0000

Have you ever made a list, SaysWhovia? Stuff you need from the store. Ingredients for dinner. Things you need to do. Things to pack. Ways to undo all American institutions by basically letting a bunch of fascist raccoons into the attic? Well, Dan has made a list of all the things that happened this week. No. He made a list of SOME of them, because no one has the whole list. And he has decided to read this list to Maureen. Only he knows why. IT IS A VERY BAD LIST.

On the plus side—bingo! And a visit from a shoe. And apparently Dan was wiretapped once?

Let’s take Dan’s phone away, SaysWhovia. Just for a little while.

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DATING AT THE END OF AMERICA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 5 Feb 2025 06:05:00 +0000

OK, so yeah, things could be better.

Elon's little fash dipshits are running around, and it sure does seem like America is coming to an end, but Maureen has a new boyfriend!

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THE TWO PHIL COLLINSES

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 29 Jan 2025 06:05:00 +0000

Apparently it’s been a week?

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THE DAYS AFTER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 23 Jan 2025 00:25:48 +0000

Sayswhovians! Yes, Trump was inaugurated again this week. Yes, Elon Musk threw up a nazi salute. Yes, everything has gone to full shitshow very quickly. And yes, Maureen is sick.

But, she's hopped up on just enough of the good drugs to record an impromptu episode with Dan this afternoon after they had to cancel their regularly schedule one due to illness.

So, hello, it is a new era. It sucks. We are glad you are with us.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FRANNNIK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 15 Jan 2025 06:05:00 +0000

There’s a lot going on, SaysWhovia. While Dan and Maureen will get into some of it (with appropriate content markers around one subject so you can listen safety!)—they spend a lot of time in the land of dissociation, where the main subjects are radio jingles, cigarettes, and weird birds. On this ground, we will build our city.

We got this, SaysWhovia. We’ll stick together. Don’t get frannick.

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13 DAYS IN JANUARY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 8 Jan 2025 06:05:00 +0000

Gather close, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen have built a shelter. It’s made of blankets and pillows. Come in and hide with us. Oh, except Dan is back reading the news again. A lot of it is bad! But also, Rudy is in a lot of trouble, so that is nice. We can enjoy that. Also, let’s play “which former Trump flunkies are the most nervous right now?"

But also, let’s get serious about the compound. WHO WANTS TO LIVE IN A TRAIN STATION?

Choo choo!

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WELCOME TO 2025!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 1 Jan 2025 06:05:00 +0000

*party blower* Welcome to 2025, SaysWhovia! Let’s go into this together, the third Trump era, full of LOVE and TOGETHERNESS and BINGO.

Yes. It’s time to play bingo. And make space.

Get your cards ready. Let’s do this one together.

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2024 IN REVIEW

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Dec 2024 06:05:00 +0000

2024 is coming to an end. What a year! It started with…

Um…

Maureen remembers something about a scorpion. Dan was in his car. Trump got shot when it was hot out? Something, something, something. And now we’re here? Why can’t we remember? Let’s take a look back at the year our brains made us forget!

Don’t look back, SaysWhovia. The Doom Buggy doesn’t go in reverse.

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THE SINKERSNATCH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 11 Dec 2024 06:05:00 +0000

There’s a chill in the air, SaysWhovia! We’ve entered the holiday season! Everyone is out on the streets, bustling about in their coats and hats, carrying their bags—their holiday shopping! Their groceries for holiday meals! Their manifestos!

Yes. Dan and Maureen are going to talk about our strange National Catharsis, the surreal week in which an assassin named Luigi left clues all over NYC and the NYPD took a walk in the park. And somehow, it always comes back to McDonalds.

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FOOT PRISON

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 Dec 2024 06:05:00 +0000

It’s the week after Thanksgiving and the start of the holiday season. Maureen is still in Philadelphia and she is…That’s the whole sentence. She is. Dan is concerned. But Maureen has a plan. She’s found a great organization to join and she’d like to tell everyone about it. Dan is unconvinced.

Dan wants to talk about the news, which is also not a good idea. But it’s time, perhaps, to wade into these dark and fetid waters. At least we can begin with something nice—Rudy is on trial and he’s having a terrible time. He’s been under the bus for a while now, and he may never come out. Dan walks us through the rogues gallery of weirdo and sycophants that will make up our new government, but time and time again we must return to the question: why didn’t Rudy make the cut? Have you *seen* these people? Come. We will meet them together. And we will watch the wheels on the bus go round and round over Rudy.

We’ve put out warm blankets, SaysWhovia, and there is hot chocolate to go around. Come cope with us. And maybe you’d like to try these new supplements. And this raw milk.

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FRIDGESCAPE NATION

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 06:05:00 +0000

Pull up a chair, SaysWhovia! The Thanksgiving feast is about to begin! It’s all going well. Well, maybe Dan has too many jobs. And maybe Maureen is a bit fried. And maybe things aren’t as great as they could be. But we have each other. We have Stanley tumblers. And we have the Great American Fridgescape.

Gobble, gobble.

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SOMETHING ELSE, ALSO TERRIBLE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 20 Nov 2024 06:05:00 +0000

Welcome SaysWhovia. Sit down with us on the porch here. Grab a cushion or a blanket. Settle in. We’re going to PROCESS.

Let’s do it together!

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WHELP

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 13 Nov 2024 06:05:00 +0000

Ummmmmm.

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MAUREEN AND DAN'S WILD RIDE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 6 Nov 2024 07:55:47 +0000

SaysWhovians, it's a different kind of Says Who episode for a different kind of day. Join Dan and Maureen for election day at Disneyland. Told in chronological order from the sunny start of the day to an end seemingly spinning into oblivion. Ride rides, go on walks, spend some time with Maureen and Dan. Nothing can stop us now.

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THE SEASON FINALE... OF AMERICA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 30 Oct 2024 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovians! It's the THIRD Trump election we've spent together.

Buckle up buttercup.

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THE MCDONALDS EPISODE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 23 Oct 2024 05:05:00 +0000

It’s here, SaysWhovia. Please drive through.

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BIG BUCKETS AND THE FART

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 16 Oct 2024 05:05:00 +0000

The musical episode you’ve been waiting for (???) is finally here. Let’s break down the playlist of DJ T.

Get ready to dance, SaysWhovia. Very slowly. Very, very slowly.

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STANKTOWN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 9 Oct 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen’s coming in from the Big Apple. The big, extremely wormy apple. The one where everyone who runs it has been arrested for criming. Dan is showing remarkable restraint. Also, before getting to the news, Maureen discusses the Big Grift of late stage capitalism: the subscription.

But then, on to more news. Like politicians doing more criming! Donald Trump gets in with some crypto bros and enters the Bible business, which is the most sense 2024 has ever made.

This devolves into WHO WILL WIN, as we are now LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY from our great national nightmare, the 2024 election. And it’s a squeaker. So it’s back to talking Disney and Stanley Cup accessories.

Keep your hand on your wallet, SaysWhovia. It’s Stanktown.

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SEE YOU TOMORROW: PARTY BOMB

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 2 Oct 2024 05:05:00 +0000

It was a long night. It is over. Maureen and Dan try and sort it out.

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BALLSACK POTPOURRI

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Sayswhovians!

Longtime listeners might remember waaaaay back to 2016, back when Maureen and Dan were little babies trying to put out a podcast about an election. And they got smart people to help them understand what was going on. Reporters! People who Knew Stuff!

Yeah, they don't do that anymore for waves hands in all directions reasons.

But what if one of those old guests became news instead of reporting the news. What then?

Also, the gubenatorial candidate for North Carolina turns out to be a grade-A creep. Who'd have guest.

Hang onto your sacks.

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NAUGHT NUMBER NINE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 18 Sep 2024 05:05:00 +0000

We’re nine years old! We did it! Dan cannot believe it. He really, really can’t.

He also can’t believe that someone ELSE tried to kill Trump. They were gonna kill that guy! But he didn’t. He was just your average weirdo with an AR-15 in a bush at a Florida golf course. And no one seems to care very much? Even Trump? It’s another normal day in America! Speaking of normal things and Trump, he’s also gotten into crypto! Neither Dan or Maureen can believe he’s taken this long to get involved. We are very close to the 2024 election and this is where we’re at.

But this week is about new starts as well. Will Maureen start a new planner? Will she learn to balance her life? Will she stop talking about Stanley cups? What is social media in 2024? And what happened that one time Dan tried to buy a car? YOU ARE NOT EXPECTING WHAT COMES NEXT.

Blow out the candles, Says Who! Here’s to nine more years!

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SEE YOU TOMORROW: SOMETIMES YOU EAT THE DOG, SOMETIMES THE DOG EATS YOU

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 11 Sep 2024 05:51:42 +0000

SaysWhovia,

Dan and Maureen stayed up late to debate the debate. Then Dan stayed up later to edit it. For stupid reasons, his mic sounds like shit. Sorry.

ZZZZzzzzZZzzzzZZZzzzzzzz

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HOT SLIDE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 Sep 2024 05:05:00 +0000

It’s September! Dan and Maureen are back! SCHOOL IS IN SESSION.

What did they do on their summer vacation? They certainly went many places. Mostly, though, they miss dangerous playgrounds. Ones with tall, metal slides and things that spin and vats of broken glass. Yay! What happened while they were traveling the world? Weird stuff! Really, really weird stuff! Trump brought NFTs back, RFK got a whale head, JD Vance tried to shake a human fist. Stuff like that!

Now that it’s fall, it’s time to prepare for next week’s debate, the last eight weeks of this weird, weird election, and a trip to Disney!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SHORK!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 14 Aug 2024 05:05:00 +0000

It’s the height of summer! Dan’s on the road, coming in from a Colorado hotel room. Maureen is about to head out on the road on her (somewhat delayed) US tour and then a UK tour! It’s travel season! And it’s been three weeks since the 2024 Presidential race turned upside-down. And Trump is taking it maturely and well, and by that we mean that he has gone back to Twitter because no one is looking at him with the same googly-eyed stare that he used to get. And his crowd size is FINE. It’s GREAT. It’s the MOST THAT HAS EVER CROWDED. It’s not all he cares about, but it is about 99.9% of what he cares about.

He needs a coping strategy. We know of one.

Meanwhile, Biden is coasting in his last semester, so Maureen and Dan have ideas about what he could be doing to have a RAD SUMMER. Speaking of RAD SUMMERS, Says Who will be off for the next two weeks while Maureen and Dan go about their travels. But don’t worry. Nothing ever happens when they’re gone.

Nothing can go wrong now, SaysWhovia.

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COVID IN MORNING HOUSE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 7 Aug 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Look, we’re going to talk about Tim Walz, but Maureen has a book out and has COVID and is writing this notes.

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WEIRDOS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 31 Jul 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen is sick, Dan is tired, but there's no stopping the vibe shift that has swept the nation with Biden dropping out and Kamala Harris speed-running her new candidacy. But most importantly, Democrats are finally saying the thing that Maureen and Dan have been saying all along: Trump and his goons are all deeply, deeply weird people.

Also, JD Vance f*cks a couch.

Welcome to the new presidential race, jump on in the water's warm.

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ONE WEEK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 Jul 2024 05:05:00 +0000

It's been one week.

One.

Week.

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SPIKY MAT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 10 Jul 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen is overloaded with energy. She is crackling. She just set the rug on fire. Dan Dan bring her down to earth? Yes, yes he can. With his tales of self-care, being a dad, and…uh oh! Maureen touched a piece of paper and it also caught on fire. She cannot feel her hand. Help.

Luckily, it’s just a week of seismic electoral shifts. The UK unsticks the right-wing underbelly. France flushes the fascists. And the US…

What IS going on in the US? Is Biden running? Does anyone know?

Maureen has calmed down. She is sitting on a spiky mat. Come and try it, SaysWhova. It is very sharp. It will calm you.

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GLYCERIN AND HOOTCH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 3 Jul 2024 05:05:00 +0000

This week, Dan and Maureen…

…are trying. Look, you guys, they’re trying.

Have you *seen* this week? That’s what they’re talking about.

SaysWhovia 2024: help us carry the body!

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SEE YOU TOMORROOOOOH NOOOOOOO

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Fri, 28 Jun 2024 04:26:52 +0000

Hello SaysWhovia,

Do you like a train wreck? Do you like your life flashing before your eyes? Do you like two octogenarians arguing about golf? Do you like to hear Maureen and Dan at the end of their ropes?

You're in luck.

Everyone else, sorry.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SEE YOU TOMORROW-ISH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 26 Jun 2024 05:05:00 +0000

This week’s episode is a little shorter, because Dan and Maureen have agreed to watch and record their reactions to Thursday’s debate.

Dan is falling to pieces and Maureen is getting fancy for a secret party.

It’s all kicking off, SaysWhoavia. So give a listen to today's 30 minute SEE YOU TOMORROW, and come back Friday more ALSO MORE SEE YOU TOMORROW.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FROG AND CARROT SOUP

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 19 Jun 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Dan’s coming in hot today. He’s got a lot of jobs. Dad. Podcast producer. Guy who collects dog pee. Teacher. And number one pal to Maureen, whose clothes are inside out. Somehow, this ends up in a reasonably coherent conversation about how racism can be found in the darnedest places in American history! That stuff is everywhere! Maureen gives a short history on eugenics at state fairs. We learn about concerts Dan and Maureen have worked for various causes. And we talk about the saggy ball contest that is the upcoming debate.

But seriously, SaysWhovia. Dan has got to GO.

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DOUBLE GUN SOCKS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 12 Jun 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Well, well, well. Dan and Maureen are running a tight ship today! Maureen knows where she’s going. Dan knows what’s going on. And once they get Maureen’s unused planner into the act, nothing can go wrong!

Dan guides Maureen on a deep dive into Rudy Giuliani's head, much like that billionaire sub guy took that cursed group of fellow billionaires into the depths to look a doomed wreck. Maureen learns way too much about the Hunter Biden trial and the contents of one man’s sock drawer. And finally, flags. It’s all about the flags.

Plus, find out why Maureen’s pilates teacher is going to hang out with a tiger!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE MUSICAL EPISODE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 5 Jun 2024 05:05:00 +0000

This week, Maureen tells a barely disguised tale of recent events, and then talks about her blood test results in a lot of detail. The conclusion? Oats. Meanwhile, Dan has been avoiding reality, but reality has been taking him on a map and finally caught up. This leads nicely to the Trump conviction afterparty and the strangely torrid tale of Hunter Binder’s trial.

But this is actually the musical episode. It cannot be explained any other way.

Five minutes, SaysWhovia! Places!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TRUMP IS GUILTY SPECIAL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Sun, 2 Jun 2024 14:30:00 +0000

Hey main feed, surprise! This week's Town Watch episode, usually JUST for our Patreon supporters (which you should totally become!) is coming out on the main feed too!

Why? Because Trump is guity and that's just too much fun to not go worldwide.

So enjoy!!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BUG THE PANTS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 29 May 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Oh dear. Maureen is having a moment. She had a challenging week and is coming to pieces. Luckily, Dan is here! With news! Dan always brings news. It never helps. This has been going on for eight years and is unlikely to change.

The UK has done the most UK thing ever by announcing an election no one is excited about. The Prime Minster stood in the pouring rain with no umbrella to give the news. Why didn’t he go inside? Because 2024. Stand in the rain. Meanwhile, Rudy makes it rain in a different way. It’s gross! Dan and Maureen discuss the best ways of surveilling America’s Mayor.

Also, Justice Alito loves insurrection. Are you surprised? And Trump trial one grinds to a close. Grind, grind, grind. 2024: year of the grind.

Let’s sit down with a cool cloth on our forehead, SaysWhovia. It’s all a bit of a lot.

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RUDY'S PARTY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 22 May 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Rudy got served at his birthday party and Dan and Maureen are excited about it. That’s nice, because Maureen is having a bad week. But then Dan tells her all about his favorite insect: the cicada. It’s a hot cicada summer. Meanwhile, Trump’s first trial begins to wrap up. And there are going to be debates? Next month? In THIS economy?

Summer is in the wings, clearing her throat and getting ready to take the stage. It’s going to be hot, buggy, and stupid.

But probably no one will serve a warrant at our birthday party.

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SCORPION

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 15 May 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen is still in France! Surprise! She could not leave when there was still cheese to eat. Plus, she made a little friend.

Back in her home city, much is happening. Dan needs to tell her all about it. Stormy Daniels was on the stand, talking about shampoo. Michael Cohen apologies. Plus, a book with a terrible dog story and a Richard Scary worm lives in RFK’s brain. 2024! It’s deranged!

Grab your baguette, SaysWhovia, while we tell you a story.

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DON'T GO IN THE BASEMENT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 1 May 2024 05:05:00 +0000

This week, it’s time to talk emcampments and trials.

But first, we need to help Dan get through some avoidance issues. We need to help him get to the basement of his mind palace.

Come.

Take our hand, SaysWhovia. Let’s go down the steps together.

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NEW YORK STATE OF MIND

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 24 Apr 2024 05:05:00 +0000

This week, we find out that Maureen’s been right about New York all along: It’s the place to be.

Everything happens there! Broadway! Great food! Amazing music! Cutting-edge dance and fashion! Large-scale arrests! Weird trials! Trash in bins! You name it, New York has it.

It’s all NYC, all the time this week. Chicago can absolutely eat it.

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SNOOZEFLASH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 17 Apr 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Oh hello, SaysWhovia. Maureen was just getting her mail. What’s this? A jury summons?

LOL, that’s a joke, of course. She would never be so lucky. It’s the ticket of the season! Which lucky New Yorkers will get to hang out in a waiting room with hundreds of other hopefuls, all trying out for one of the big roles as a Trump juror. Everyone is excited! Except, perhaps, except Donal Trump, who keeps taking court naps. He does not want to be there. He is bored and itchy and needs a snack.

Meanwhile, the Republicans have launched a clever attack on themselves, while Rudy Guiillani would like to borrow a dollar from you.

2024 has arrived, SaysWhovia. Don’t look it in the eyes.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WOODCHIPPER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 10 Apr 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Oh hello, SaysWhovia. We were just examining this ancient book of spells and portents. Let’s see…an earthquake, an eclipse, lightning hitting the Empire State Building…oh. Just a typical week in New York City. Nothing weird going on at all. Oh wait. The Trump trial is about to start in Maureen’s hometown! That must be it. 2024 is finally turning on the gas and showing us what’s made of.

Or IS it? Is it still making us wait? Why is Dan just listing the names of cities? Why is Maureen coughing? Are they trying to stall for time? Is it because they know what 2024 wants?

A little bit. Maybe a little bit. But! Dan does know a lot of city names, and Maureen likes lots of stuff. Because after the lists and the quakes comes the woodchipper. And a trip to Disney.

Get behind us, SaysWhovia. We’ll go first.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE LENTIL PRINCESS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 3 Apr 2024 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovia, Maureen has had a rough week. But it's OK because she's TOTALLY FINE. Yes, that's what she is. She is also the lentil princess, so she has that going for her.

Meanwhile the world is going to complete and utter shi...

Happy days for she's the lentil princess!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

INCORPORATE THE INTERRUPTION

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Says Whovians! 2024 is starting to show its whole ass now as the former president Goes Through Some Things in the last 24 hours and somehow has emerged... better off? Great.

Also, Dan is in Colorado and Maureen is at her folks and, well, she's coming in hot. And then, suddenly, she's reading from the elaborate guide for getting on the internet she made for her parents back in the 90s. As one does.

Ride the weird wind.

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A CAREFULLY BALANCED DAN IN A CAREFULLY BALANCED VAN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 20 Mar 2024 05:05:00 +0000

Sometimes, SayWhovia, it’s important to think about balance. Work and life balance. Physical balance. Bank balance. The balance of an overladen van teetering on the edge of a cliff. This is the balance episode, where all of these things will come up. Dan’s work and life balance is a little off again. Maureen is learning physical balance! Trump has a low bank balance. And off of us are living out the end sequence of the 1967 classic film, the Italian Job.

This episode makes more sense than most, which is saying a lot considering it’s 2024.

Nobody move, SayWhovia. This whole thing could go over.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FOG OF JUDGEMENT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 6 Mar 2024 06:05:00 +0000

It’s Super Tuesday, SaysWhovia! How are YOU celebrating? A party? A casual gathering? A quiet cry in the closet? All of these are valid! And who will win? No one knows! Except, everyone!

Meanwhile, Maureen reveals the joys of living in New York City once again, Dan gets a new fencepost, and COVID is over! More importantly, plans for Disney on Election Day are being finalized. It’s really happening. Dan and Maureen are going to ride the Haunted Mansion as the results come in, and then Says Whovia will…go on forever. And ever. And ever.

Get in the Doom Buggy, SaysWhovia! It’s all really happening!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TICK TOCK DOLE WHIP O'CLOCK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 28 Feb 2024 06:05:00 +0000

This week, Maureen spends a lot of time convincing Dan it’s time to get serious about making Disney plans for the election while Dan falls gently to pieces.

It’s that time. Get in line with us, SaysWhovia.

Note: this episode contains a brief discussion of the death of Aaron Bushnell. There is no detailed discussion of physical events, but the significance is discussed for a short time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

AN IDEA, A FEELING, AND A HAT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 21 Feb 2024 06:05:00 +0000

Brrrr. Shut the door! There’s a cold winter wind blowing. All is snug and safe here in the Says Who fort.

Dan’s son is recovering from COVID and has had adventures in a hotel room. Mauren wants to get right to the news! 2024 is ramping up! Trump is making shiny shoes because he owes SO MUCH MONEY. So much money! Surely these shiny sneakers will fix everything. Seriously, though—he owes all the money. Does he have it? How will he get it? How many shiny shoes will be sell? And what’s with the perfume?

Somehow this becomes Dan and Maureen’s Composition 101 workshop, which should probably be a thing.

Pencils down, SayWhovia, and hand your papers to the front.

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HAUNTED WHITE HOUSE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 14 Feb 2024 06:05:00 +0000

It’s 2024, SaysWhovia. Everything has changed. Dan has too many jobs. Maureen bought a planner. Trump is running against Biden and Biden is running against Trump.

Wait…

We’ve been on this ride, haven’t we? No matter. We’ll get in line again. And there are always new twists. For example, Dan’s new job is in the MORNING. Maureen’s new planner is DIFFERENT. Trump is threatening to KILL US ALL.

It’s still the same, isn't it?

Come with us anyway, SayWhovia. We’ll hold your place in line.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TALE OF THE WHALE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 7 Feb 2024 06:05:00 +0000

Maureen is in paradise; Dan is in Chicago. You can probably guess how this is going to go.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MAUREEN'S PLAN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 24 Jan 2024 06:05:00 +0000

It’s the first big political event of 2024, sort of! It’s the New Hampshire primary, and everyone is excited. Right? Is that excitement? Dan isn’t sure.

Ron DeSantis has dropped out of the race, dragging Florida down with him into the swamp, where he will live with sewage and alligators. Trump continues to be on trial. So…is any of this news? Is it news if you knew it already? What to do with this zombie of a year?

Enter Maureen, with a plan. She has a plan, everyone. A good plan to fix it all.

Gather round, SaysWhovia. Listen to the plan!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

IOWA YOU AN EXPLAINATION

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 17 Jan 2024 06:05:00 +0000

Come in! Take a seat her by the fire that Maureen and Dan have made sure to keep burnin’. Have some hot tea. Get a blanket. It’s cold! At least, it is at Dan’s house. For some reason, Maureen’s place is a thousand degrees, her feet are trapped in a footstool, and she can’t see right out of one eye. No matter. No one wants to come into 2024 being able to see all of it. Best to keep it in soft focus.

The Iowa caucus has happened! And…um. It happened! Exactly as everyone knew it would! There is literally nothing gained from this exercise! But Dan and Maureen are going to mine it for gems, and end up in a deep discussion about the ways 2024 will bend people psychologically. Maureen looks deep into the abyss. Dan watches, nervously. The fire crackles.

And then Maureen has a good idea that Dan may or may not be responding to sarcastically. She can’t tell.

Snuggle up, SaysWhovia. It’s a long ride through the snow. Let’s make it cozy!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GHOSTWROTER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 06:05:00 +0000

Oh hey! Dan and Maureen are swinging into the first week of 2024 with ease and style! Maureen has left behind her dead snake and gotten a fast car back to New York City because things got complicated. Dan dropped his son off at the airport to return to school and is definitely not still crying. But also, VAXXING. Because COVID is back for year four. And would you believe it, it’s infecting people in the SAME EXACT WAY it surges every year. Who would have known.

Meanwhile, Trump is in court in Washington DC to try to argue that being President gave him superpowers. It’s not going well. And actual New York City mayor Eric Adams is under fire for a recently unearthed 2009 book about school safety in which he tells the story of taking a loaded gun to school. Or did he? Take a gun to school? Or tell that story to a ghostwriter who got it wrong? Or have a ghostwriter? Or even make the book at all? It’s a study into whether or not books or writers are even real, and Maureen is INTO IT.

Also, Dan has to watch three Twilight movies. He can’t edit this out of the notes. These notes were written by a ghost.

Booooooo!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

KEEP BURNIN'

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 3 Jan 2024 06:05:00 +0000

Welcome to 2024, motherf****rs.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

PREPISODE: 2024

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 27 Dec 2023 06:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovians!

The year is RAPIDLY coming to a close, and Maureen and Dan are building a (don't call it a) bunker and stocking it with everything we need to make it through 2024.

Yes, it's a VERY SPECIAL Prepisode!

(Note: this was recorded ahead of Maureen heading to England in mid-December)

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FOOT LINE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 13 Dec 2023 06:05:00 +0000

Well, it’s that time of year again! Not the holidays—but for Maureen to have a weird medical issue in the middle of a deadline. She’s fine. She had a line. A real line. On her foot. Dan does not believe her.

Meanwhile, Dan has a story about a bad man and his bad friends. Not Friends, the show he never watched. These are Evil Friends, and they have ruined a good place. Yes, we have to talk about Elon Musk.

But on a bright note, Moms for Liberty is getting their ass handed to them all over the place! This will cheer you right up.

It was a real line, SaysWhovia. A real line.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DREAM BIGGEST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 6 Dec 2023 06:05:00 +0000

Maureen is trying to take a bath. Maureen is trying to do a lot of things. She is having some trouble, but is not giving up. Dan has advice. Maybe she should take it easy?

But that’s not the SaysWhovian way. Maureen is going TO THE MAXX. And so is the subject of today’s story—a little dreamer named George Santos.

Keep dreaming, SayWhovia. Then dream bigger. Dream biggest.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE FRANCHISE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 06:05:00 +0000

Hello, SayWhovia! Did you make it through Thanksgiving? Dan and Maureen did! Mostly! Dan has only part of a car, though. And Maureen is still in Philadelphia. She went to the craft store. She has a tale to tell. Many tales—tales of birds in walls, spiders, slugs—so many creatures. She may never leave Philadelphia. She is trapped forever, like she is in the Phantom Zone.

Dan does not want to talk about the news, but Maureen insists on a little, as a treat. So it’s just a little. But it does include the fact that this is the third Trump campaign Says Who will be covering, and that fact hits Dan hard. Three times. That’s a franchise. But which franchise is it? Star Wars? Scream? Die Hard? The answer is also a bit much for Dan. Again, he only has part of a car.

Diplomatic immunity, Says Whovia. It’s been revoked.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BIRTHDAYS AND DEADLINES

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 15 Nov 2023 06:05:00 +0000

It's someone's birthday! And someone else is on deadline! And there are nightmares happening in the world. So you know it's a real normal one over in SaysWhovia.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE EYE OF THE PORN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 8 Nov 2023 06:05:00 +0000

Today, Dan and Maureen celebrate their favorite holiday: Happy Four Seasons Total Landscaping Day! Yes, it’s been three years since the best day ever.

In the present, Maureen is focused on her book. She’s going to make the landing, but what a landing it will be. Dan, meanwhile, has a haunted mouth. And he’s not the only one! Because somewhere out there is an app called Covenant Eyes, and our new Speaker of the House loves it. He uses it with his son. To monitor their mutual porn use. Say it out loud: Covenant Eyes. Now the curse is with you.

Meanwhile, Trump is in NYC, and boy, is he chatty! He’s a rambling man. He’s bad at court. Next year is going to be SOMETHING ELSE.

Covenant Eyes, Sayswhovia. Covenant Eyes.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DE-PENCE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 1 Nov 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Oh, hello, SaysWhovian! What a nice costume you have! Dan and Maureen have treats for you! Here’s a Snickers, a Kit Kat, a Reece’s Cup… and also, the news! Which, as you may have noticed, IS SCARY THIS WEEK. Too scary for Halloween.

But the most scared person is Mike Pence, who dropped out of the Presidential race because he’s adorable. They were going to kill that guy! Meanwhile, Trump keeps going to court, and the in the UK, there’s a reckoning over COVID. At least, people are swearing at each other a lot. Reckonings!

Maureen has candy and a plan for a better life. Also, she may open a cookie and party thing. Dan is encouraging.

Would YOU like Maureen to plan your party? BoooOOOoooOOOoook now!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NUT PUNCHIN SEASON

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 25 Oct 2023 05:05:00 +0000

As always, dear listener, news happened after Maureen and Dan finished recording. These two sweet innocent children believed that Tom Emmer would at least make it to a floor vote before dropping out of the speaker's race.

Joke's on them.

And all of us.

Also, lots of people flipping on Trump. Or maybe Rudy. Probably Rudy.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

PODCRAFTING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Oct 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Today, Dan and Maureen battle a series of seemingly endless recording failures, while everyone’s worst gym teacher, Jim Jordan, tries to become head of Slytherin.

And because this is a week of truly horrific news, we talk about self care. For example, Maureen is in PA and has gone to Michael’s craft store.

Also, Dan tells a story about getting stuck inside his haunted car.

All of this with a microphone balanced on a plastic pumpkin.

Get your glue gun, SaysWhovia. Things are getting sticky.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

RUDY TUESDAY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 11 Oct 2023 05:05:00 +0000

No, YOU’RE drunk, SaysWhovia.

*hic*

*falls in trash*

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BIG MAC CITY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 4 Oct 2023 05:05:00 +0000

October has arrived, and the very first trick or treat bags have appeared on the streets of NYC! Trump is on trial, and he is ordering a lot of McDonalds. Lots and lots of McDonalds. He has a lot of feelings to eat as he risks losing all his towers. Yes, trial season has started. It comes earlier every year, doesn’t it? They’re even starting to flip down in Georgia.

Meanwhile, the House is losing its Speaker. Large-headed predator Matt Gaetz is leading the charge. It’s all quite a lot, and Maureen wants to know what to make of it all. Dan does not have answers.

Get in your bin, SaysWhovia. The waters are rising.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FUN LADY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 27 Sep 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen has been out in the rain. She is damp and bedraggled. Dan is here to cheer her up with news!

The WGA strike appears to be over! Collection action works! So we’ve got that going for us! Also, the government is probably going to shut down, a Democratic Senator is taking gold bars, there’s a debate happening that no one wants to watch, and Donald Trump expressed a wish to buy a Glock.

But all of this is just preamble to Maureen talking about a weird meeting, and Dan recreating that meeting in far too accurate detail.

It’s almost October, SayWhovia. Smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SAYS BOOBERT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 20 Sep 2023 05:05:00 +0000

After the tribulations of last week, Maureen and Dan are back and in better form. They have nice shirts on. They’re awake. Everything’s going great! Except that there’s COVID in the house of mj. Also, she saw a good dead rat.

Was last week a dream? Did that impeachment threat ever materialize? No. No one can explain it. But Hunter Biden is in the news because of a gun. Because we care about guns now? lol.

Also, Lauren Boebert went to a show. Things got juicy.

Put your phones and vapes away, SaysWhovia. The show is about to start.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SAVE DAN SINKER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 13 Sep 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Dan hasn’t slept in four days. Maureen just had a root canal three hours ago and is still groggy from drugs. Things start a bit loosey-goosey, but take a strong turn when Maureen tells Dan about some news he hasn’t heard. A certain dot f y I fella isn’t quite ready to handle it.

Group nap after this one, Sayswhovia. Group nap.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

YOU'LL BE A DENTIST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 6 Sep 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Imagine you start an episode and you discuss the events of the week and then someone gets a toothache and it gets worse and worse and you end up cutting things short.

Just imagine.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GET ON THE BUS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 30 Aug 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Everyone's back home! Summer is coming to a close and school is back in session. But mostly... get ready for a bonkers fall which will be nothing compared to the spring. Come March, right now is what you will be nostalgic for.

Yes, there were mugshots but mostly things got weird.

Here comes the school bus, get on board.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SOMEONE GET CLINT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Greetings from the road, SaysWhovia!

Well, Maureen isn’t exactly on the road. She’s in Philadelphia, though occasionally sounds like she's underwater (we don't know why and apologize). But Dan very much is, and the road is not being nice to Dan. Dan is having a time of it, and it doesn’t help that the Trump Fuck Around And Find Out calendar is again targeting him personally.

Yes, we’re ending a hot and weird summer and likely going into a hot and even weirder fall. So many trials. So many defendants. So much work for a guy who signed up to write some thing called indictment for f….y….i.

Also, Rudy keeps calling people and begging for money. It’s real funny.

Come sit by the side of the road with us, SaysWhovia. We’re going to be here for a while.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

REACH FOR THE ORANGE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 16 Aug 2023 05:18:56 +0000

Dan is off dropping the teen off at college and stopped crying long enough to record. And that's good because there has been NEWS and Maureen wants to talk about it while Dan just wants to pick oranges and weep.

Anyway, there's been an indictment! No, not the Georgia one, which happened about 5 hours after these two finished recording, but the other indictment which happened just after they finished recording *last* time.

Remember when this podcast used to come out only every two weeks? Yeah. Us too.

Anyway, wheeeeeeeee.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

EAT THE CANDLE, KID

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 2 Aug 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Cheerio! Maureen is in England, where everything is cool and rainy. There is cream and tea and cake and ice cream and teeth—all the classics. Meanwhile, Dan is somewhere in a heat swamp next to a sewage drain situation. So everything is as it should be!

Dan and Maureen catch up, talking about the summer, life, how everything is on fire, and how Mitch McConnell stopped working for a while. And about indictments. So many indictments. It’s a good thing neither of them run a site called indictment.fyi!

Also, kids used to eat cigarettes. Did you know that?

Grab a pint, SaysWhovia! We’re going to watch them pump out this sewer!

PS. OF COURSE Trump was indicted 3 hours after this episode was recorded.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SUMMER MELTDOWN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 19 Jul 2023 05:05:00 +0000

It's summertime and the living is... well, the living is not that easy. It's hot for one, and there's a lot going on. A lot. So much. Too much.

Plus, it's summertime and that means summer travels for both Maureen and Dan.

Turn a fan on, dunk yourself into some cold water, and listen in.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SLIP N SLIDE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 12 Jul 2023 05:05:00 +0000

This week, Maureen is too hot and too wet. New York is not easy in the summer. Dan has ideas to help, but Maureen is not interested. She’s also not the only person who is too hot and too wet. It’s a Climate Change Summer! How do people keep doing normal stuff while the world changes around us? Not sure!

Meanwhile, Dan is preparing to send his oldest child off to college and he is…not okay! Neither is Rudy Giuliani, for that matter. And possibly Donald Trump. Their problems continue to attack Dan personally.

Also, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg are having an online platform fight, and possibly a cage match. Maureen devolves into Friends plotlines and reveals her ultimate dream, which, as it turns out, is pretty achievable.

Get the hose and the Slip n Slide, SaysWhovia! It’s time to cool off!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MAYHEM GRAVY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 5 Jul 2023 05:05:00 +0000

This week, the Supreme Court did some stuff. It wasn’t great! But remember; this system is FLAWLESS! Also, Elon Musk did some stuff! But remember: rich people are always smart? Dan and Maureen probe these and other life lessons.

This is basically the summer calm before the fall storm so enjoy it while you can!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DING!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 28 Jun 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Today, Dan and Maureen talk about the Russian coup—or, no they don’t. No one knows what that was about! So they get down to the new Trump tapes. But mostly this is about Maureen’s speed dating strategy and Dan saying “Ding!”

Ding!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SALMON HAT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 05:05:00 +0000

First, Maureen wants to talk about the terrible and entirely predictable story of the missing submarine. Maureen has been thinking a lot about things that go in the water as she has spent the weekend in the Thousand Islands. She suggests that SaysWhovia resettle there. It is peaceful and lush, with clear water and nice people who commute on jet skis and eat ice cream all day. Dan likes this idea, but has other things on his mind. In a move that he takes as a personal attack, Trump’s initial Florida trial date has been set for August, exactly when he has to take his son to college. It probably won’t happen then, but who knows. Also, something something Hunter Biden. All of this leads to a larger discussion of what 2024 is *really* going to be like. Tl;dr: really weird! All the time.

Then suddenly it’s all about whales who wear hats—and Maureen bursts into song.

All aboard, SayWhovia! Time to dive!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TRON CLUB

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen insisted that Dan get off the airplane and record because a few things have happened since he left for Disney World.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ROLLING THUNDER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 7 Jun 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Greetings SaysWhovia! By the time you read this, Dan is already halfway up Big Thunder Mountain and Maureen is packing for beautiful checks notes Syracuse. Yes, it's summertime in SaysWhovia, and that means things are getting a little loose.

But not so loose that Maureen and Dan miss the BIG NEWS, that the MAN THAT EVERYONE WANTED TO KILL, Mike Pence, has decided to run for president. And what better way to convince a lot of people that literally erected a gallows in your honor to vote for you than by appearing in the least authentic way possible?

Vroom vroom, here he comes!

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MARGINALLY EMPLOYED

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 31 May 2023 05:05:00 +0000

This week, Maureen gets to the bottom of her notebook crisis. Dan has an emotional breakthrough at a barbecue. And Ron DeSantis enters the ring in the most SaysWhovian way possible.

Grab another Spicy Sizzler Sando, SaysWhovia! Because we’re not going anywhere!

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CRYSTAL CHINOS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 May 2023 13:26:49 +0000

Welcome to this week’s Says Who, where… oh, Maureen’s already off the rails. She needs to tell you all about her gynecologist’s TV career and all of his bees.

Dan tries to steer the car back on to the road to Florida, where Ron DeSantis continues tilting at windmills and Marco Rubio gets mad at a distant baseball game. But Maureen lunges for the wheel again.

Since this week is about weird hobbies and grifters, why not bring it all home to the Says Who commune. Maureen has a plan to fund it. Dan likes it.

Put on these CBD pajamas, SayWhovia. It’s time to make some money.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SOMEBODY GET GARY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 17 May 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Well, SaysWhovia, we begin this week with tales of Rudy Giuliani—terrible tales that Dan and Maureen go over in not great detail, because the details are not great. (For those worried about the more upsetting content, we skip this completely. We’ve got your back on this.) There are tales of pardons for sale and bags of phones. Which somehow leads Dan to a long discussion of the Most Dan Side Quest Ever, and the adventures of an imaginary Ron and fake Paul Stanley from KISS, a sinkhole, a suitcase full of money, and Gary. We’ve found it everyone. We’ve reached peak Dan! We did it!

This has to be heard to be believed. Maureen is still resting in a quiet room with a cool cloth on her temples, trying to take it all in.

We are the SaysWhovians, you know? And we’re back in town.

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TOO MUCH NEWS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 10 May 2023 05:05:00 +0000

In a SaysWho first, Dan and Maureen break into their own podcast with... another podcast.

Literally the moment after they finished recording today's episode which was about the E Jean Carroll lawsuit against Donald Trump, the verdict came in. So, back to the microphones! Then, during that, George Santos is charged with…something?

So, it's one of those easy days. Also Maureen may have a new boyfriend.

Hold on to your butts, SayWhovia. This one comes at you fast.

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HARRY POTTER AND THE GO F**K YOURSELF STONE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 3 May 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Once again, Maureen is in Pennsylvania, surrounded by eagles, beavers, turtles, and floating sheds. Dan is in Chicago, marveling at the new adult human he has produced. And that’s it!

Well, until Dan goes pro and gets to the news. Trans rights and humanity are under attack, and Maureen…well, Maureen goes off.

(Content note: trans friends, this one should be a-okay to listen to because instead of hearing bad stuff with no pushback you get to listen to Maureen throwing f-bombs at a once-beloved wizard lady for about ten minutes.)

Get your waders on, SaysWhovia. We’re going in deep.

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HAPPY FEET

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 26 Apr 2023 18:20:29 +0000

Maureen’s fresh off a plane from Los Angeles, full of tacos and weird vibes. Dan is in his workshop, full of ideas and news. So many things to talk about. There’s the Fox lawsuit settlement. There’s Tucker, and Dom, and Nate Silver, and the Pillow Guy.

But there’s also a very excited shoe, A very excited shoe. We’re about to do 2020 all over again. Low and slow.

Walk with us, SaysWhovia. We have a lot to discuss.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DAN NEEDS A NAP

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Does anyone have a pillow or blanket? Dan’s here, at least in body. He has just arrived back from LA and he has not slept. Maureen is worried.

Against medical advice, Dan proceeds to the news. It’s the next chapter in the Disney saga. DeSantis is taking things personally. Things are getting weird. Do you know how hard it is to be weird in Florida?

Meanwhile, Dan should really go to bed.

Get cozy, SaysWhovia. It’s time to curl up and listen to a man fall apart in real time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MOUSETRAP

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan SInker) — Wed, 12 Apr 2023 05:05:00 +0000

It’s finally time, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen are going on their long-planned trip to DisneyWorld!

Sort of! Dan has a story to tell everyone at any rate—a long and wonderful tale of a man named Ron who decided to make beef with a big mouse. This story has everything! Sort of Nazis! A frozen head! Magic water! The British royal family! And the fate of a man who thought he could take down Disney. He fucked around, and he found out.

Get a drink and sit back. Dan is here to tell it all.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SEE YOU TOMORROW: ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 5 Apr 2023 17:56:08 +0000

We entered a See You Tomorrow situation fully expecting to see you tomorrow, but then two weeks passed, Maureen floated in the water then had a near-death experience, while Dan just kept stacking more plates into his spinning-plate pile and then, Donald Trump went and got himself arrested and now, finally we SEE YOU TOMORROW, today.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Bonus: Honey, Remember That Yummy Stacked Food We Had At That Nice Restaurant?

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 29 Mar 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Sayswhovians! Everyone needs a break sometimes, and today Maureen's taking one. She's off somewhere warm and tropical and that's GREAT we LIKE that for Maureen. YAY Maureen.

Anyway, instead of a regular episode, you get an oldie-but-goodie off our Town Watch bonus episodes that our patreon supporters get every week. This one's from October 23rd last year and is all about planners and jobs. And stacked food.

See you next week, or sooner if Trump is actually indicted this week.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SEE YOU TOMORROW: THE WAITING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 22 Mar 2023 05:05:00 +0000

Someone didn't get indicted today. BUT MAYBE HE WILL TOMORROW.

Maureen and Dan will be there when he is so...

See you tomorrow!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WHISKEY AND A PILLOW

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 15 Mar 2023 05:05:00 +0000

This week, Dan and Maureen are back to the classics: a 1920s style bank run, a covidversary, Michael Cohen, Trump on the campaign trail, and a full season of debates coming up.

This is what Says Who is all about, which is why Maureen makes a plan to get to Disney as soon as possible, and once she explains why, Dan cannot escape the logic—which is Lynyrd Skynyrd-based. That part is new.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, SaysWhovia! This one brings it all home.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 8 Mar 2023 06:05:00 +0000

CW: The attack on trans rights is discussed toward the end of this episode, starting at about 46 minutes.

It’s Says Who day, and Maureen is fresh off a plane from Texas. Or a plan to Texas. This isn’t entirely clear. Things didn’t entirely go to plan. That’s all right, because Dan is here to bring Maureen back to earth with news. There’s been a lot of strange things doing on concerning the Dominion lawsuit. Turns out, there was some lying going on!

On the 2024 election front, a new contender has entered the ring! Welcome back, Marianne Williamson! This news causes such joy that Dan and Maureen dissociate, because it turns out neither of them is ready to talk about the fact that the 2024 election creeps closer every day. They do what is only sensible under these circumstances—they go to their happy place. Saturday morning cartoons, with all the cereal they can eat. They put the bowls down long enough to discuss the terrifying events happening around trans rights in Tennessee and elsewhere, but then it’s spoons up again.

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MCFEAST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 1 Mar 2023 06:05:00 +0000

Fuck it, we’re going to McDonald’s.

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MALARKY TRAIN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan SInker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 06:05:00 +0000

As February draws to a close, Dan and Maureen keeps falling over. Maureen is getting out of Dodge. Dan is slightly falling to pieces. Maureen has a plan! Dan has less of a plan, but is excited that Maureen has one. So far, so typical. And then there’s the news: Trump dodges problems, DeSantis burns everything in his path—just scumbaggery all around. Again, we’ve been here.

But then we get something very special, SaysWhovia. This week, Joe Biden took a magical trip—and someone is very excited to hear about it. Very excited. Far too excited.

Get out your tickets, SaysWhovia. We’re going for a ride! Toot toot!

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RIDE THE OCTAGON

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan SInker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 15 Feb 2023 06:05:00 +0000

It’s Maureen’s birthday! Almost! Dan has gotten her her favorite gift: news. But what news? News of George Santos and his Technobabble Dreamcoat, news of flying things, marvelous, wonderful things. Maureen wants to speak of more serious matters, but Dan has a flying octagon and he is ready to use it.

Oh, and remember when they were going to kill Mike Pence? It’s time to talk about that. They were going to KILL that guy!

Grab your party hats, SaysWhovia! The bar tab is on George Santos! He invented the cosmo!

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INVISIBLE HARNESS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 8 Feb 2023 21:49:03 +0000

It’s State of the Union time! How did you celebrate, Says Whovia? Did you have a traditional State of the Union dinner? Maureen didn’t watch it! Dan sort of forgot but then remembered! And good news! The State of the Union is strong! Everything’s going well!

Meanwhile, Maureen is on a magical journey of discovery. She’s riding the wind. She’s loose.

Strap in, SaysWhovia. Today’s episode takes to the sky.

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WE CAN WORK WITH THIS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 1 Feb 2023 06:05:00 +0000

Guess who’s got a voice again? It’s your old friend Maureen. She speaks! She lives! Everything’s back to normal! Everything’s fixed! COVID is over! At least, that is what Dan read in the news. COVID is over! Except for all the COVID!

This week’s episode is all about fresh starts—and by fresh, we mean garbage starts. Delicious, wonderful garbage. And a 2023 slogan is finally determined.

Hop in this trash can, SaysWhovia! There’s room for everyone!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

CHICKEN SOUP FOR NEWS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 25 Jan 2023 21:31:03 +0000

SaysWhovia! Maureen's stint as the Ghoul of Pismo Beach, suffering through covid beachside, is over. She is home! Everything is fi... What's that? Oh, she got a rebound case of covid.

Let's catch up with Maureen between sneezes and also give her a little chicken soup for the soul in the form of allllll the lies of George Santos.

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LIVE FROM ISOLATION

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 19 Jan 2023 00:26:34 +0000

Maureen's got COVID and also a psychotic neighbor and also is isolating at the ocean, so like not EVERYTHING is terrible, right? Right?

Everything happens so much.

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INSIDE THE MINION ROOM

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan SInker) — Wed, 11 Jan 2023 06:05:00 +0000

Things are going sideways, SaysWhovia. Not only is Maureen now in constant motion, home and then not and then home and then not, but also people are storming the capitol... in Brazil! While in our own capitol the former stormers are securing power. What could go wrong?

A lot, probably.

Meanwhile, the former president of Brazil has made an odd choice for his hideout, and Maureen and Dan go on a home tour to see what horrors lurk inside.

Banana.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

UNCANNY VALLEY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan SInker) — Wed, 4 Jan 2023 06:05:00 +0000

It's that period of time between things: holidays, years, the old congress and the new. Surely things have been chill for old Maureen and Dan, right? Right?

Also, Maureen has a new friend and Trump goes grey gardens.

Happy New Year!

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HO HO OH NO

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan SInker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 06:05:00 +0000

It's the most wonderful time of the ye.... oh dear. Sayswhovians, yes, it's a holiday episode and yes, it's that most magical time of the year, when one calendar ends and a new one begins, but also MAUREEN IS VERY BUSY and MAYBE THINGS ARE A LITTLE BIT OUT OF SORTS.

But also, Trump is selling NFTs, Elon Musk is having a tantrum, and Rudy is wearing clothes 3 sizes too big. So, you know some things are as they should be.

This is the last episode of 2022. Apologies for the end.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE LONGEST TWEET

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 14 Dec 2022 06:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are all atitter in the holiday rush! So much so that Dan has written no notes. He is living his best life now, in his coveralls, making things in his basement. His life is fresh and new. Maureen prepares for holiday travels and life on the road.

So of course they’re going to talk some more about Twitter, the great internet tire fire.

Also, theiy probe their deep childhood love of pricing household goods. Every child enjoys guessing the cost of ham!

Ring a ding ding! Come sit by the fire, SaysWhovia!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

2 Watch 2 Furious

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 7 Dec 2022 06:05:00 +0000

Greetings, from the first week of December, the official start of the end of 2022! It’s the holiday season, and Dan and Maureen are feeling festive. Dan is living his best life in his new uniform. Maureen is…well, she’s here!

This week, there’s been some old fashioned Says Who kind of news! Rudy is back, and he’s making a fashion statement and probably drunk! Trump is trying to end the Constitution via fake tweet! Something something something Hunter Biden’s laptop! It’s like we’re in 2020 again or something. It’s nice to gather at this time of year and remember cherished things like these.

Plus, Dan gives Maureen advice. Maureen ignores this advice. And she found something in the trash she’d like to show to the group.

Synchronize all your watches—it’s Says Who time!

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CBD

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 30 Nov 2022 06:05:00 +0000

You know how you just find jars of stuff in places and drink the contents? Anyway, today’s Says Who is brought to you by that. Stuff! It’s what’s in places!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GRAVY TRAIN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 23 Nov 2022 06:05:00 +0000

The SaysWhovia Thanksgiving table is set and there is plenty for all. Do you like gravy? We have gravy.

Dan wants to concentrate on the food and community, but Maureen insists that some time should be spent on the news. Maybe just a touch. Maybe they could talk about Twitter. As it turns out, Dan has thought on the subject, Also, Maureen has an exciting story about pie.

This may take a while. There will be time for seconds.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE NO CODE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 16 Nov 2022 18:55:36 +0000

Trump’s back! The House is in play! Twitter is falling apart!

So let’s talk about Dan’s balls.

Grab your ice pack, SayWhovia. This one is going to sting.

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BONUSODE: A special Town Watch about Twitter

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Sun, 13 Nov 2022 15:30:00 +0000

Surprise!!

It's Sunday, and that USUALLY means that you'd be listening to Maureen and Dan over on the Patreon as part of the Town Watch bonus, but A WHOLE LOT happend over on Twitter this week, a website that Maureen and Dan particularly love, and so as they were recording this week's Town Watch they decided: HEY LET'S SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE.

So, hello, everyone! Welcome to the Town Watch.

This happens every Sunday if you give at the $5 or $10 level, so consider signing up if you haven't.

And for those that have signed up: Thank you forever!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ELECTION FEVAHHHHHHH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 9 Nov 2022 18:14:34 +0000

What the hell happened last night? What is going to happen now? DAN AND MAUREEN HAVE ANSWERS!

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ELONGATE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan SInker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 2 Nov 2022 05:05:00 +0000

This week, Dan and Maureen go back to where it started, to where they met: on Twitter. Dan was just a bearded child pretending to be a mayor. Maureen was a simply author trying to catch the attention of someone pretending to be a mayor because she really liked the way they pretended to be a mayor. And now here we are, three days in to Elon Musk’s takeover of Twitter. What will it mean? Did Stephen King just bargain blue checks down to eight dollars?

Also, from the “they were going to kill that guy” files: the strangely underreported story of the man who tried to kill Nancy Pelosi, and the attack on Paul Pelosi. It’s…really bad?

Click like on this one, SaysWhovia. We’re in for a weird ride.

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UK U OK?

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 26 Oct 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Friends, Dan is having a tough week. There is far too much going on. And the recording keeps shutting down and restarting…like the UK government! We’re back in!

Yes, SaysWhovia, it’s a special UK news report. What the hell is happening? Maureen will tell you. It involves many prime ministers, a midnight flight from a tropical island, and a child in a monocle. Oh, and a fistfight, maybe. Also, what’s going on with the January 6th hearings? And did you know there’s an election in two weeks? Yes, it’s Says Who’s sixth election! That’s way more than intended!

We’ll also get to the bottom of what Maureen is supposed to do with this two dollar bill. And then we’ll make Dan take a nap.

Call your nanny, SaysWhovia. By jove!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DEEP COKE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 19 Oct 2022 05:05:00 +0000

It’s a glorious October day. The sun is shining. The golden leaves are falling. Dan is pulling his beard out, while Maureen is decompensating by starting a sticker album. But never mind all that—there’s news afoot! Dan is delighted to let Maureen know about some important news coming out of NYC. Maureen is equally delighted to tell Dan about the current state of the UK. There’s talk of the last January 6th Hearing, complete with a Slim Jim moment while the mob tries to kill Mike Pence.

But forget all of that. There’s news this week so big, it rocks Says Who to its core. It goes all the way to the top. Well, it goes all the way to the fridge next to the Oval Office. This is what Dan and Maureen have been training for for six years. This time, it’s all been worth it.

Hit the button, SaysWhovia. It’s time for a cold one.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

POCKET CLAMS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 12 Oct 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen decided not to talk about the news this week. Only soup! Soup is warm and nourishing! But Dan doesn’t like soup. Maureen needs to sell him on the concept, and somehow, this becomes about the news and also the worst soup in the world.

Grab your spoon, SaysWhovia! There’s a hot bowl waiting for you!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

PLANNERMANIA!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 5 Oct 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Content Warning: short section explaining the domestic abuse allegations against Hershel Walker, mention of animal cruelty charges against Dr. Oz. Basically just the headlines on these but wanted you to know.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

JITTERBUG FARTPANTS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 28 Sep 2022 05:14:30 +0000

Dan and Maureen are further apart than normal this week.It’s a tale of two cities—London and Los Angeles. One has English/Indian full breakfasts with unlimited cups of hot chai, while the other has fire alarms going off all the time. In fact, this episode has the most fire alarms of any Says Who episode! The most hotel talk! The most reading of menus!

In fact, Dan and Maureen are so exciting talking about breakfasts and hotel fires that they almost forget there is news. ALMOST. This is a week of a falling pound and Trump legal trouble. So much trouble! And our old friend Rudy forgot to go to court. What a bunch of knuckheads!

Put the sign on the door, SaysWhovia. We don’t want to be disturbed.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

COVID'S OVER (IF YOU WANT IT)

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 21 Sep 2022 05:05:00 +0000

What’s that sizzling sound? Why, it’s the official Says Who griddle! Dan and Maureen have some hot, beefy patties of news to slap down this week, so they hope you are hungry! And they’re starting with good news! COVID is over! The President said so! Dan will go and tell his wife, who has COVID. Dan is grouchy. Maureen has something to cheer him—a sing along!

Also, Dan’s son had a very interesting walk to school. Dan is really not having it this week. Even though Trump has performed an amazing self-own with his special master. But what turns it all around is the beef. Because if there is one thing we do here on Says Who—we run the hamburger beat. And there hasn’t been this big of a scoop on the burger front since Trump threw his lunch against the wall. Yes! It’s the My Pillow Hardee’s takedown story!

Get your fries on the side, SaysWhovia. But not from Hardees?

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A ROYAL MESS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 14 Sep 2022 05:05:00 +0000

... then things got weird.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TO THE SEA!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 7 Sep 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Ah, the sea. So…sealike. Maureen is in Greece, looking at the sea and having high quality insights like these. Dan is in Chicago, reading the news. One seems happier than the other. But not for long! Because the UK has a new prime minister, there’s a Special Master on the horizon, and Trump is definitely getting up to announce his 2024 run. Everything is circling back around. Maureen cannot cope with this. She has a plan, and that plan involves the sea.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GREASY BIRD STORY TIME

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Look, it's been a long week and it's only Wednesday. Sure, Trump's been going nuts over on Truth Social and Lindsey Graham is threatening mob violence on cable news, but who's up for a story instead? A story about a banking heiress and a Palm Beach club with lax security. Certainly nothing will go wrong.

Note: to read more about the Anna de Rothschild story, check out the incredible reporting by the Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project and the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE BLUE APRON OF CRIME

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 Aug 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen has a new tooth! Dan’s kids are going to school. The last few weeks of the summer and hot and full of fun—because we’re hading into an exciting fall! Nothing weird is happening!

Except for a few boxes in the back of Mar-a-Lago. There’s a little bit going on with those. Just a bit of criming. Actually, quite a lot of criming. So much criming. So many boxes.

Plus, Maureen refines her cult plans. In her cult, no one turns purple. Dan has questions.

Come inside this storage room, SaysWhovia! We have boxes to go through! Everyone grab a box! Blue Apron: it’s not just a meal, it’s felony espionage

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ASPARAGUS? IN THIS ECONOMY?

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 17 Aug 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are back, after this Sunday’s surprise episode with more! More crime! More details! More documents! More Trump! More legal peril, possible indictments, and institutional chaos!

But first, Maureen has to talk about this Dr. Oz vegetable thing, because it is keeping her up at night. It’s so weird, and so gross. If she can figure out what it means, she’ll understand everything.

Meanwhile, Dan has facts and figures about the raid at Mar-a-Lago—what was taken, when, by whom, and why—and just how long they tried to get it. Spoiler: a weirdly long time. Also, Rudy is in trouble! So much trouble. There’s trouble, right here in Rudy City, and it starts with T and it ends in P and that stands for Trump, or maybe Top Pooper. Something. It all means SOMETHING.

The summer’s not over yet. We have a few more weeks to go before we flame out and slip into a fall of hearings and elections. WHAT WILL HAPPEN?

Strap in, SaysWhovia. Keep your hands and head inside the ride at all times. We’re still going up the hill, and that first drop is going to be WILD.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SOME LIGHT TREASON

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Sun, 14 Aug 2022 13:00:00 +0000

SaysWhovians!

Dan has been traveling, but the Federal Bureau of Investigations didn't care and decided that this week—yes just a random week in the middle of August—was the week to suddenly SHOW UP AT MAR-A-LAGO WITH A WARRANT.

Look, it took a couple days but Maureen and Dan got together on the weekend to finally talk through the absolute madness of this last week.

Lock up your documents and grab a chair, it may be a Sunday but it's go time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ROAD RULES

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 3 Aug 2022 05:05:00 +0000

It's travel time! Maureen is in the UK, Dan is outdoors by a pond, and covid is everywhere. Just not, currently, inside thier bodies. It must be summer travel in 2022 where if the covid doesn't get you, the monkeypox might. What fun.

Oh, did you hear the president got covid? Twice? Everything's just really great right now y'all.

Fill up your tank, get your tray tables locked, it's go time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BORIS JOHNSON'S NO GOOD VERY BAD WEEK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 20 Jul 2022 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovia, things are afoot across the pond, and ace sleuth Maureen Johnson is here to tell us all about it. Which is good because Dan's been traveling and has his head in the clouds and heart on the road instead of paying attention to current events. Shame on Dan. Good thing Maureen's on the case!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE GREAT ESCAPE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 6 Jul 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Content note: A generalized discussion of the Highland Park shooting on the 4th of July. No details of the shooting—mostly details about Highland Park.

Dan and Maureen have fled their respective cities. Dan is checking in from a woodland idyl, while Maureen reports from outside of Philadelphia. Both spent the Fourth of July avoiding fireworks. But because this is America, the Fourth of July was marked by violence. Because Dan knows Highland Park well, this week’s discussion turned to hometowns, living in America, and what comes after.

Also, no one likes fireworks, right?

This one’s about taking good care of yourself and each other, SayWhovia. Come sit on the picnic blanket with us.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WET, HOT AMERICAN SUMMER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 29 Jun 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Yeah, SaysWhovia. We talk about Roe vs. Wade. But then we get into the juicy meat of the surprise January 6th hearing. It’s got everything! Battles for control of a steering wheel! Fights in back of cars! Ketchup running down walls! Real sad bastards looking at their phones! They were going to KILL THAT GUY.

Also, Maureen has a weird bug bite and will either live or die while recording.

Let’s just get into it. We’re already on the log flume. Strap in. We’re going to get wet.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

HOT WATERGATE SUMMER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 15 Jun 2022 05:05:00 +0000

We’ve got the iced tea. We’ve got the television on. And we’ve got the January 6th hearings! Rudy is drunk. Ivanka is hiding behind 200 Zoom filters. Jared is bored. And everyone thinks Trump is an idiot.

Also, Dan’s back is better, but he keeps trying to buy domain names. Maureen went out into the world. And the UK is still being the UK.

But forget all that! GET YOUR ICED TEA!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BIG SANDWICH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 8 Jun 2022 05:05:00 +0000

You guys, Dan is definitely not okay and needs to go to the doctor. Maureen is fine. Mostly.

But news. That’s what we are here about. And there is some! Finally, the hearings on January 6th are underway and swift, decisive justice is being meted out to all the participants. Lol. Just kidding. The hearings are about to start and Maureen just wants to watch them while drinking iced tea. Nothing will happen, but she is determined to have her Watergate Summer. Meanwhile, Dan reminds her that the mob really, really, really wanted to kill Mike Pence. And so did Trump, apparently! They were going to KILL Mike Pence. Kill him DEAD. THEY WERE GOING TO KILL THAT GUY.

Also, some freedom fighters were promised a big sandwich that never arrived.

Meanwhile, the UK is having a real one—celebrating all things Queeny. Seventy years! It’s a weird number to celebrate, which is why there are holograms and cake. Also, there was a sudden, major political upheaval in Parliament. They almost ousted Boris Johnson! They’re getting it done! They’re drunk and staring at beams of light, but they are getting it done!

But seriously, Dan is flat on his back and needs help. Someone help Dan. Get the stretcher, SaysWhovia. We’re taking him to the hospital.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BACK TO THE PYRAMID

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 1 Jun 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen’s back at home after a long two weeks. She’s been taking care of some sick family members. Things could have gone better! Then again, they could have gone worse, so, she’ll take it. She also has some loose chicken in her pocket and a faraway stare. Dan has questions, but then, Dan always has questions.

There is discussion of the events in Texas, but then they get back to their main topic of conversation these days: when and where to build the compound. Dan thinks he knows.

Pack up, SaysWhovia. It’s time to go

Content note:This episode discusses the Uvalde, Texas school shooting. If that is something you would like to avoid, it happens between 28:00 and 50:00.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SIDE QUEST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 25 May 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen‘s having a real one.

(Note: this was recorded before the shooting in Texas.)

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

LET'S MAKE A CULT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 May 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Greetings, SaysWhovians! This week, Dan and Maureen are getting ready for our third Hot COVID Summer, now with even more COVID! Maureen has to go and take care of her dad, so they had to record early. Everything, as usual, is fine. Except for all the COVID. And the white supremacists. And the weird gatherings at Mar-a-Lago.

Okay. So maybe things aren’t fine. Maybe it’s time to formalize SaysWhovia into a cult compound. But a good one! With snacks and naps. It’s time, though. Would you like to sign up?

Get your robes. We’re going to the big tent.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SEVEN LAYER DIP

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 11 May 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen and Dan are back after a two week hiatus! It’s time to talk about the news again! Which means talking about the recent challenge to Roe vs. Wade. This one gets anatomical. And delicious?

Grab a bag of dips, SaysWhovia. We’re back!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A Writing Deadline Bonus About Writing

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 May 2022 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovia!

It's another week and another deadline for Dan and Maureen. But never fear, this Town Watch episode from 2019 is here! Yes, here in the main feed is a vintage Says Who bonus episode ALL ABOUT WRITING!

Maureen and Dan will be back to their regular relentless schedule next week!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A Judy Blume Bonus!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 27 Apr 2022 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovians! Maureen and Dan are both up against some hard deadlines and couldn't get this week's episode recorded. But never fear! Maureen had an idea: Let's pull an episode from the Town Watch, our nearly-weekly bonus feed over on the Patreon, and share it with everyone!

So, from April 4, 2021, here's an episode where Maureen tells the story of hanging out with Judy Blume at her home in Key West Florida.

Judy Blume has had her books banned for decades now, is an inspiration to us all, and also exactly who you would hope she is.

Enjoy and see you next week!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

CABIN PRESSURE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 20 Apr 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Today we’re taking a trip. Please find your seats. Masks? No masks here! IT’S A PODCAST. Besides, who needs masks anymore? Right?

Dan and Maureen process the surprise end of the mask mandate and delve into the weird goings on at the Happiest Place on Earth, where events continue to conspire to keep them away. They just want a Dole Whip. It’s been six years. Disney is under attack by Governor DeSantis, as well as a gaggle of truly strange protesters. Florida continues to Florida. Also, Maureen talks about book banning, textbooks, and then balls come into the picture.

Fasten your seat belts! This is going to be a bumpy flight!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

RUNNING WITH MUPPET ARMS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 13 Apr 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen loses it. Everyone’s invited.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

F*CK AMOUSE AND FIND OUT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 6 Apr 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Boo hoo! Maureen has been attacked by a plant. She has had a week and has been encased in bubble wrap. That’s okay—Dan’s been absorbing the news for her while she grows a new eyeball. Or something.

There is actual good news! A union organizer successfully beat Amazon! Kicking Bezos in the balls is the SaysWhovian way! Meanwhile, another battle looms: the right wing has gone full-on against Disney. It’s Fox versus Mouse time, and things are getting weird.

There is so much Disney in this one. It’s all coming full circle. Will Disneyland soon be free of red hatted-Republicans, driven away by their leaders and infotainers? Will Dan and Maureen be able to ride the Haunted Mansion 25 times in a row without fear of anti-maskers? And why is Dan talking about the 2024 elections so much? Why won’t he stop?

Get in line, SaysWhovia. Let’s ride Space Mountain.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SEVEN HOURS IN THE BUNKER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 30 Mar 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen has returned from England, and she has tales to tell! She was in the woods! The fields! She saw a horse! She had tea! She has been around so much COVID! SO MUCH COVID. Meanwhile, Dan fought a tree and lost.

Because Maureen has been blissfully unaware of what the hell is going on, Dan has to break it to her. There has been news. It refuses to stop happening, the news. Everyone in the White House has COVID. There are strange doings in the January 6th investigation. Traitors and dirtbags abound. And there is a mysterious hole in the records of what Trump was up to on January 6th, 2021. A seven hour hole. IT’S THE NEW WATERGATE! Maureen has been ready for this her entire life!

Also, she has a terrible thing to tell everyone. She has a bucket. Dan makes it weird.

Get your burner phones, SaysWhovia. We’re meeting in the basement garage.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 16 Mar 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Strap on your lifevests, it's time to take a ride!

Maureen is back from her first trip and she has stories to tell, stories of signage and toilets and more signage and more toilets, and also a secret message left just for her. Dan is entranced. It has been a long time since he has been anywhere. This is like hearing from Shackleton.

Meanwhile, there is news about Disney. And morons. And yachts. All of this is important, but did you know that teenage Dan had a theremin?

These are weird times, but Dan and Maureen have got your back. In fact, they want to take you away on a confiscated yacht. So get on board. This time, we’re really doing it.

Toot toot!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

EFFICENCY!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 9 Mar 2022 06:05:00 +0000

Maureen leads off with a story about why going out is to be avoided. Dan has burned off his beard. Once these topics are exhausted, there is some talk of the news. This feels like a real mistake, so Maureen ends up clinging to her day planners in an attempt to deal with everything.

Get your crafting supplies, SayWhovia. We’re journaling our way out of this timeline.

CONTENT NOTE: In this episode, we discuss the ongoing assault on LGBTQI+ lives in the USA. Of the former, we don’t go into details. It’s mostly us yelling about it. Oh, also earlier there's some dog blood and poop stuff

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

HAPPY MEAL EXPRESS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Thu, 3 Mar 2022 06:05:00 +0000

We got you a snack.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 06:05:00 +0000

This week’s thing is a little spicier than normal. It’s just a bit of a possible war situation, is all.

But never fear! There are places you can go to find answers and relief, places like the newly-launched Truth Social—the new Trump social media platform that’s all the rage! Most of that rage is due to the fact that it doesn’t work, but still, what could go wrong? Also, if you can’t sleep, apparently the My Pillow guy is throwing pillows out of airplanes.

Okay. Maybe those aren’t good things for coping. So Dan and Maureen return to Says Who U. It’s all about crafting! Making! And Maureen’s flowers! And this jar she has on her desk! She will show you all the things, even though this is a podcast and you can’t see them!

Get your felt and glitter, SaysWhovia. We’re making puppets.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BITCOIN FOR BRAINS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 16 Feb 2022 06:05:00 +0000

Well, Dan and Maureen’s terrible game of “which one of us will have COVID in the house first” is over and Dan has won.

Also, it is Maureen's birthday, something she neglected to mention when she sent the episode summary in.

So this week they’ve decided to skip most of the news, because their brains are gravy and there are better things to talk about—like taco walks, and going to the park, and that one time Maureen accidentally starred in a TV show. We’ll talk about the Before, The Now, and the Just Around the Corner. Things get upbeat!

It turns out that the trick is avoiding the news and really leaning into the tacos.

Get on this jet ski, SaysWhovia. We’re leaving.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FOOD, FUN, AND A MONKEY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 9 Feb 2022 06:05:00 +0000

This is a downright old fashioned episode! It’s got Trump! It’s got Mike Pence! It’s got Rudy! It’s got Disney! It has balls! It has food! It’s got people in trucks doing weird things! It’s got shades of insurrection! Maureen tells pointless stories and Dan brings it all home with some weird Chicago shit.

And most importantly, it’s got MUSIC! So much music! So come on in and sing along!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GROUCHTOWN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 2 Feb 2022 06:05:00 +0000

Maureen is in a grouchy mood, what with the two years of pandemic and whatever. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a wonderful story to tell—a story of cake and parties and English people being extra English.

But Dan is the one who really has brought the goods. He has so many wonderful tales to tell! Tales of Trump and fax machines and Rudy knowing something! Tales of courts and trouble and that one time the rioters tried to hunt and kill Mike Pence for sport. This week is downright old fashioned! It’s like it’s 2018 all over again! Or 2019! Or maybe 1819! Or 1619! Whenever they used to hunt people in the street. It’s retro!

Somehow there’s a lot of talk of washi tape.

Forget it, Dan. It’s Grouchtown.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

YACHT ROCK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 26 Jan 2022 06:05:00 +0000

Goodness gracious! Is it Wednesday again?

Maureen does not know. She is adrift in space and time and has devoted herself to yacht rock. Dan is keeping track, but he isn’t happy about it.

Maureen wants to tell Dan about Boris Johnson and his many parties. UK politics has never been so… UK. Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani is in trouble! So much trouble! So many kinds of trouble! The kind of trouble you can only get into if you have 18 phones, you’re constantly drunk, and you’re Rudy Giuliani. Not that any of it matters.

As usual, things devolve until Dan and Maureen try to figure out which one of them is the most cheerful.

Put on this captain’s hat, SaywWhovia! We’re going for a ride. Toot toot!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE FULL BANANA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 19 Jan 2022 06:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are sleepy. They would like to take a nap. They have built two blanket forts in the SaysWhovia Town Hall and were trying to catch a few zzzz, but then they remembered that they needed to be awake. Obviously, this was tough to hear.

The news this week is…not all bad? There is some hope on the COVID front? And there is some news that is just very English. Maureen is here to talk about Partygate again—the scandal that has cheese. And there’s also bad news! But mostly, Dan and Maureen want to talk about games and napping. And Dan also wants to take a few pops at New York City, because he’s jealous that he doesn’t live there. So jelly. He lives in stupid Chicago with it’s stupid pizza that isn’t even pizza—it’s like a bread bowl gone wrong. Dan knows this and the fact is eating him up from the inside.

Grab your blanket, SaysWhovia. Let Dan and Maureen lull you to sleep. We just need a nice nap for a few months.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE FART OF THE MATTER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 12 Jan 2022 06:05:00 +0000

We apologize in advance.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DOUCHE YOU THINK 2022 WILL BE DIFFERENT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 5 Jan 2022 06:05:00 +0000

Dan needs a moment. Things seem to be going in circles. It’s all COVID and January 6th. Is this just 2021 in a disguise? Dan has lots of statistics. He does not like them one bit.

But Maureen has tales to tell! She had an adventure with a Christmas Tree, and New York has a new mayor! Everything is new and fresh and different, and if it isn’t, Dan and Maureen and determined to make it so.

It’s slogan time.

It’s cult time.

And also we find out that young Dan was raised by soap operas and had a terrible encounter with a Summer’s Eve commercial.

Splish splash, SaysWhovia! We’re all on the water slide together! LET'S RIDE!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

2021's OVER (IF YOU WANT IT)

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 06:05:00 +0000

It's time for Dan and Maureen to do a wrap up of what can only be described as 2020 2: MORE OF THE SAME. We had it all this year! We started with a book deadline, a coup, and COVID. We end it with a book deadline, the ongoing outcomes of a coup, and more COVID!

Also Dan got a new hot water heater. He’s cold, and he hasn’t showered. Maureen fully flakes and begins to perform musicals.

Which is why Dan and Maureen are starting the cult for real. It’s time. 2022. It’s going to be great. Nothing can go wrong now.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

OMICROM PLACE LIKE HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 22 Dec 2021 06:05:00 +0000

What could possibly go wrong.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MIND JENGA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 15 Dec 2021 06:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are in the festive spirit. Maureen has been following the story of the Very Naughty Christmas Party that is rocking the UK. And also all the Omicron. Also that. Oh, and a billion internet weirdos who have come to say hello to her. She’s keeping it all straight in her head.

Dan’s littlest son has returned to school, so Dan is really not sure where he is or what is going on. Everything is quiet. More time to read about the insurrection! He will tell Maureen all about it. He’s keeping it all straight in his head.

Yes, Dan and Maureen have got their fingers on the pulse of everything and it all makes sense.

Just kidding!

Now, hang these stockings and sit by the fire. It’s time to hear about some fuckery with your pals.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SHARKUS INTERRUPTUS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 8 Dec 2021 06:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are going out of 2021 by going into the world. Not far into the world—just a little bit. Maureen has gone in for a hairdo. Dan’s son is going back into school. They are embracing the world again! Because nothing can go wrong now!

Trump and co are also saying yes to life by starting a new enterprise—and what an enterprise! They have founded a company that will do everything! All the media! Everywhere! All the time! They are very good at making things happen and running things so this can only go well. Dan really wants to break this down. How many things can a company do?

Because, SaysWhovia, we are riding out the period between sharks. Might as well get a hairdo and go to the bakery. Let’s milk every last drop out of 2021 before something eats our feet.

Grab an innertube and hop in!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

OMICRON

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 1 Dec 2021 06:05:00 +0000

No really, it's fine.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GREAT BALLS OF BEZOS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 Nov 2021 06:05:00 +0000

It’s Thanksgiving week and Maureen and Dan are preparing by not really preparing because neither one of them is really *that* into Thanksgiving.

Make it what you want! Do your own thing! Fill your shoes with mashed potatoes! Jump up and down on the table! Steal your neighbor’s car and go hunting for cranberries! It’s YOUR day!

It’s also the day of reckoning for some of the great patriots of January 6th. They have gotten into some trouble. Not much, but probably more than we were expecting. Mike Lindell is still talking about something. Trump is wearing a tux. All of this makes Maureen spin out with realizations of what the next few years actually hold, and then the wheels come off the bus again.

Somehow, this all starts with Jeff Bezos’s balls?

Take a seat at the SaysWhovia table. There’s always a spot for you.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE GREAT INTERMISSION

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 17 Nov 2021 06:05:00 +0000

Maureen is reporting in from a beach in Mexico, where the air is soft, the surf is soothing, and the trees are full of iguanas. She has been writing in the sun. Dan has been on top of the news—and there’s good news! Danny Fenster has been freed from jail in Myanmar, Steve Bannon is heading in, and Alex Jones is about to lose all his money! It’s fantastic stuff. Dan is happy. Maureen is blissful. The iguanas are romantic. The sea laps the shore, and all is well.

But Maureen has questions. What’s in the sea? What’s that in the palm tree? What comes next? Dan tries to save her from herself, but he cannot move fast enough.

Members of the audience, please feel free to get up and move around. It’s the Great Intermission…or, it’s proof that Maureen can ruin anything.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BIG BIRD HAS A POSSE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 10 Nov 2021 06:05:00 +0000

Dan's six-year-old has gotten vaccinated and Maureen's en route to Mexico! Things are CHANGING SaysWhovia, and it's OK. Things change, that's a lesson Dan's little one just learned from Sesame Street.

But one thing that hasn't changed is that Ted Cruz is an asshole, and on today's episode we'll learn what happens when the king of Chunky Soup takes on a beloved franchise that has looked out for kids for the last half-century.

Make sure your tray tables are locked, SaysWhovia, it's go time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Q CREW AND THE DEAD KENNEDYS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 3 Nov 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Exciting news this week! Maureen got her window fixed! And she went into a Bed, Bath, and Beyond!

Dan wants to tell her about the news, but she needs him to know all about it. It was so spacious! So full of concrete!

Dan is persistent. There is a very important gathering happening in Texas—the Q Crew are down in Texas, waiting for the return of JFK Jr. Which is weird. But it gets so much weirder. So much weirder. It turns out we haven’t had 30 presidents, and everyone is coming back from the dead, and there are kings? Or something?

Dan is starting to wish he’d let Maureen tell him more about the concrete floor in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

And then, things get weird.

Grab a cart, SaysWhovia! The floors are smooth.

Content note: In addition to a lengthy discussion about Qanon, there is a discussion of the anti-trans movement in the UK.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DAN AND THE AMAZING TECHNIPOCKET DREAMCOAT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 27 Oct 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Look, this episode goes off the rails pretty much from the start, but you’re about to hear the tale of Young Dan and his Magic Coat.

Plus, vax for kids, not so much for cops.

And, Facebook.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SIX IS A MAGIC NUMBER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 20 Oct 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Dan wants to talk to Maureen about some things going on in the news, like the fact that Steve Bannon is in hot water. Maybe. Possibly. If everyone gets together and decides to do something about all the crimes and whatnot. Maureen is interested, but there is some stuff she would like to tell Dan as well, like how the number six is magic. Remember January 6th? And all the other things that go with six? So many things. Also, she is in Philadelphia, so she does not have to worry about elevators or people trying to steal her toilet in the night.

Dan would really like to talk about the news. Donald Trump sent a fax! Maureen is not having it. She still has more she needs to tell Dan, like stuff about the internet and the Bad Art Friend. Maureen may be possessed—but the sun, or maybe Satan, or possibly the spirit of a certain shoe.

Anyway, things go about how you might expect, but since you’re already here, you probably like that kind of thing. Everyone likes something.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

HAPPY OCTONOVEDECEMBEREEN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 13 Oct 2021 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovia, the months are getting jumbled and the holidays are colliding and all anyone really wants to do is get through it. Because let's face it: what is time anymore, really when you think about it?

It's time to ask big questions, SaysWhovia: What day is it again? Have they minted the trillion dollar coin yet? Will Maureen ever get a second elevator? Is Dan's kid ever getting a vaccine?

We'll figure it out eventually.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

HUDSON'S ELEVEN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 6 Oct 2021 05:05:00 +0000

There’s a trillion dollar coin out there. Someone’s got to steal it.

Why not Maureen and Dan?

cue suspenseful drumming

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DAN'S FORMAL APOLOGYCAST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Content warning: It gets spicy in this one, and it’s all Dan’s fault. He’s sorry. Far too much is said about Trump’s lil’ tooter.

Yeah, it’s pretty much covered in the content warning. Buckle up and keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

IMAGINARY HARMONICAS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 22 Sep 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Oh, hello! Dan and Maureen didn’t see you. Dan is hiding in his basement, writing emails. Maureen is stuck in an elevator. Both of them are trying to help their families outrun COVID. Because, COVID! It’s Still Here! Dan has a lot to say about testing and tracing and AP History. Maureen is still really just trying to get in or out of an elevator. Will she ever leave New York City? Can Dan convince her to move to the woods? Have you ever had fried clams?

There’s a lot of talk of elevators in this one. So much elevator. And a surprising amount of harmonicas. Yes, it’s one of those episodes where the rails never come into the picture.

Toot toot, SaysWhovia!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

IT'S LUNCHBOX TIME

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 15 Sep 2021 05:05:00 +0000

FIVE YEARS! Yes, you read that right. Says Who is celebrating FIVE YEARS of this EIGHT WEEK podcast! It’s time for celebrations! Parties! Picnics on the square! Dancing!

Except Maureen has had A Week, and she needs to tell you all about it. ALL about it. This may take a while.

Plus, Rudy gets drunk and Trump hangs out with a cult. What else is new.

HERE’S TO FIVE MORE YEARS!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DEAD FLOWER SPECIAL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 8 Sep 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are out of the news business this week. It’s bad. Instead, this Says Who is about culture! Fun things! Things that make Dan and Maureen happy!

At least, it will be once Maureen is done explaining all the things she has to do to get ready for Oscar’s green card interview in the morning. So much paperwork. So many details. What did they serve at the wedding? Was there cake? There were jars of stuff, but what was in them? Dan will try to get a word in edgewise, but he will not succeed. And then…out come the dead flowers.

The green card interviewer has no idea what is about to happen to them.

Just fill in this form right here, Says Whovia. Your citizenship is guaranteed. But what was in the jars?

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

IT'S FOR HORSIES

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 1 Sep 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Welcome to the Says Who Good Times Fun Hour, which is what we’re calling it this week as everything is A Lot and people are starting to get a bit crispy around the edges. So let’s keep it light and fun! Let’s talk about Rudy Giuliani eating soup! Because he does not eat it like other people. He eats it Rudy Style. And it’s gross! You won’t like it.

Also, let’s talk about medicine for horsies, because it 2021, and people take that now. And then they get a case of the Rudys. It all comes back to Rudy in the end! Seriously, though, people are taking a lot of horse medicine.

And Maureen got a pair of roller skates.

Saddle up, SaysWhovia! Let the fun times begin!

Note: the organ music at the top of the episode is courtesy of Josh Kantor.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

PODCASTING FOR GOLDFISH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Pretty sure Maureen forgot what was discussed on this episode.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BACK TO BURGERTOWN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Aug 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are back after last week’s absence! Dan has returned home to Chicago. His teenager has returned to school. We’re going back out, except where we’re all going back in!

No one has any idea what’s happening! Except for two people: Rudy and My Pillow Mike. Rudy is now on Cameo, and that is a lot of what today’s episode is about. Rudy will greet you for $400! Would you like a greeting from Rudy? Find out what that sounds like!

Dan and Maureen almost veer into terrible news, but you’ve had enough of that, so they turn the car around. It’s all burgers and Rudy today. And Dan’s throat. Dan’s poor, poor throat.

Grab a napkin SaysWhovia. It’s time to eat.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE LAW FIRM OF DRUNK, BROKE, AND FARTING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 Aug 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Greetings from the road, SaysWhovia! Dan is in the wilds of Colorado. Maureen is in Philadelphia. Both are super alarmed by the fact that no one seems to be wearing masks! They do not like it!

There’s been news this week—classic, SaysWho type news. Rudy Guiilliani is having a bad time. He’s broke. He’s in trouble. He’s down to the cheap booze and his pants keep falling off. Trump is no longer taking his calls. So this is the right time to give an interview and let it all hang out.

Meanwhile, COVID can’t stop, won’t stop—because people won’t take simple measures.

Then Maureen gets distracted by her own Tumblr feed and things just devolve from there.

Mask up, vax up, let’s go! It’s Says Who Time!

CONTENT NOTE: at the 30 minute mark, there is a brief mention of the Cuomo sexual harassment and abuse allegations. We don’t go into any detail at all—we just mention that it’s happening, and it’s bad

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SETTLE DOWN, GISELA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 28 Jul 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Dan is out on the road, not in a hot car. Maureen is up in the cool mountains of Massachusetts.

Did politics happen this week? Probably. Dan and Maureen do not want to know.

For a blissful moment, they are Somewhere Else doing Something Else. Both have chosen good times to be somewhere else, because things are going great, and nothing is happening with COVID. Or everything is! No one knows. This is the time for hot, maskless gatherings in Nebraska parking lots and anti-tax teachers to head into schools. In short, nothing can go wrong now.

Then Maureen starts speaking German. Jetzt wir hatten eine gute Zeit!

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SOME LIGHT SUMMER READING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 21 Jul 2021 05:05:00 +0000

SaysWhovia! Dan is on the road, which in this case is literal: he's recording from the back of his car again. But it's OK! He's under a tree, what could go wrong.

Meanwhile, Maureen and Dan have been reading the new Trump tell-alls that have been coming out. Today, let Maureen and Dan tell you about them so you don't have to read them!

Maureen started "Frankly, We Did Win This Election: The Inside Story of How Trump Lost" by Michael C. Bender but ended up being deeply invested in the menu of a New Hampshire diner that serves some remarkable food.

Dan read "Landslide" by Michael Wolff and learned that his imitation of Rudy is lacking in flatulence.

Curl up with a good book—even a bad one will be better than these—it's the new Says Who!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

PLAY CLOWN GAMES, WIN CLOWN PRIZES

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 14 Jul 2021 05:05:00 +0000

It's really summer now SaysWhovia, but Dan and Maureen are gearing up for... leaving? Is that still a thing? That is if covid variants and government bureaucracy let them go.

But before they leave town, how about discussing the various Trump legal clowns who have been playing clown games this week. Sure, of course there's Rudy because there's always Rudy, but there's enough clownage to go 'round this time.

Put on your giant shoes and your rubber nose, SaysWhovia, because it's clown time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE 200TH TIME IS THE CHARM

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 8 Jul 2021 05:05:00 +0000

It’s the 200th episode! Yes, the little podcast that was a coping strategy that was never supposed to exist like this celebrates its 200th episode!

To mark the big 200, Dan and Maureen answer your questions! Learn about Maureen’s very flexible policies in terms of where she will go. Find out what young Dan did for fun. Why are they still doing this? Do they like it? Can they ever stop? What is going on?

All of these questions and more will be answered. Now, blow out these candles! The curtains are on fire!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A HARD POUNDING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 1 Jul 2021 05:05:00 +0000

It’s the Says Who, One Day Late Edition! Maureen has had a wild couple of days, which threw the S.S. Says Who off course by 24 hours. Everyone in her house has been barfing, either literally or metaphorically.

But she isn’t the only one sailing rough seas. The Good Ship Rudy has been rolling to and for on the waves. Poor Rudy! He must be so seasick! Luckily, his son and first mate, Andrew, is here to defend him! By shouting! So much shouting!

Meanwhile, a small speedboat containing the Trump legal team has been spotted headed out to sea, dumping safes of documents all along the way! Not really! We were just trying to keep this boat thing up. But, you know, Trump legal problems! Because of the crimes!

Everyone is taking a hard pounding this week. Such a hard pounding.

Get your life preserver, SaysWhovia. This water is deep.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MRS. ROPER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 23 Jun 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Really really sorry.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

I GOT NOTHING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 17 Jun 2021 05:05:00 +0000

It’s pub day for Maureen! Her new book is out! She seems . . . tired. Maybe a little confused. But Dan is here to perk her up by telling her about other new books. This does not work as well as he plans.

Meanwhile, the ranging debate about which Trump child is least loved rages on. Then Maureen and Dan reminisce about their old jobs.

Dan I can’t even remember what we talked about.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Says Who Special: The Box in the Woods

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Fri, 11 Jun 2021 12:00:00 +0000

July 6th, 1978. Four teenagers went into the woods one night. They did not return alive. What happened in Barlow Corners? Who put the counselors in the Box in the Woods?

Want to know what happened? You can find out by reading The Box in the Woods. Visit maureenjohnson.com for more information.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FIVE MINUTES WITH STEPHEN KING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 9 Jun 2021 05:05:00 +0000

It’s under a week now until Maureen’s book is out, and Dan wants her to talk about it. Maureen is not so sure. Dan helps her by telling her tales of his own book experiences. Dan has a story to tell.

Meanwhile, slash-desk is no more. RIP slash-desk, we barely knew ye. Where does a guy go when he doesn’t even have his slash-desk anymore? On the road! And apparently, to New Jersey! If a Trump goes to a New Jersey and no one cares, did he even go? Also, Don Jr. does Cameo now. So that’s a thing!

But seriously, Dan has a story to tell.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

COUP STORY, BRO

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 2 Jun 2021 05:05:00 +0000

It’s summertime in SaysWhovia! The lawn chairs are out. The pool floats have been inflated. And Trump is back on his bullshit!

Wait, what?

Oh right. Time is a flat circle. Yes, he’s back! Ranting and raving in a way that is not at all concerning! By that, we mean… kind of concerning! It’s possible that the Trumpets are planning a little light treason. Nothing to worry about. Besides, Dan has big news! The first reports of what President Biden eats are in… and there is big news in this department. BIG news.

Also, Maureen’s Siri keeps farting, and her dad has 900 Alexas and a bunch of restaurant chairs. She may be losing what little grip she has on reality.

Get your shorts on, SaysWhovia! We’re going to the boardwalk!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE TRAGIC KINGDOM with Akilah Hughes

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson, Akilah Hughes) — Wed, 26 May 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Our friend Akilah has been back to Disneyland now that it's reopened after 14 months, and what a magical day she had.

Come, Sayswhovians, take a break from the unrelenting pace of news and just... enjoy yourself at the happiest place on earth.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SOUP IN THE WOODS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 19 May 2021 05:05:00 +0000

We all developed new hobbies during lockdown. Maureen collected bins and drop-crotch jumpsuits. Dan made masks and relentlessly trolled Maureen about the state of New York politics. This is still his favorite! He does it ALL THE TIME. This was the biggest week yet for Dan’s new pastime. Andrew Guillani has entered the ring and Dan simply could not be more delighted. Maureen tries to deflect. There are horny peacocks to talk about. And horny donkeys. And roller-skates. And soup.

None of it will work. Dan is on a mission. No amount of soup talk will distract or dissuade him. In fact, he has learned something so terrible that he refuses to say it out loud on the podcast, but he tells Maureen because this is the kind of friend he is.

Maureen is very ill-treated.

Come to the woods, SaysWhovia. The animals are weird and the soup is plenty.

Content: Some very horny animals, soup. Don't Google that one thing.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SLASH DESK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 12 May 2021 05:05:00 +0000

It’s a big week, SaysWhovia. Maureen has a guest. In her house. Someone is STAYING OVER. Because life is finding a way.

Because he doesn’t want her to get too excited about the experience, Dan decides to tell Maureen all about the state of the mayoral race in New York City—a race in which no one seems to know anything except Andrew Yang. He’s going to be the winner! Dan is sure of it. Maureen is less happy. Dan’s job is done.

But the big story this week is that nothing stays buried forever. The zombies have risen. Trump is back, and he’s Brough the My Pillow guy with him, and together they’re saving America and free speech through the technology of… blogs? Videos? Twitter handles? Dan and Maureen are as confused as they are. It’s an old, familiar feeling. Welcome back to the weird, ranty world of Trump—now with fewer followers!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FOOTLOOSE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 5 May 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Spring has come to SaysWhovia and the world is reopening! Maureen has gotten a hairdo! She went to a place! With a person! Dan also went to a place with a person, but for a different reason. Dan had a little accident. His foot is not 100% what it should be at the moment. Luckily, we know someone who is good with feet.

Meanwhile, two prominent dirtbags have been caught dirtbagging—because these dummies kept writing it all down. These aren’t bright guys, and things got out of hand. Yes, both Matt Gaetz and Rudy Giuliani are in hot water. How hot? How much water? We don’t know yet, but what we do know is hilarious.

Also, Dan and Maureen talk about plants for a while. Why not?

Put on your dancing shoes, SaysWhovia! It’s time to get out there!

Content info: This episode includes a mention of Matt Gaetz’s crimes, which involve sex with underage persons. No details—we simply mention that this is what he is in trouble for.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

EXCELSIOR!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 28 Apr 2021 05:05:00 +0000

It’s happening, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen have had both of their shots. They got a little sleepy, but now they are thinking about reentering the world. No, really this time. It’s a whole new era! One filled with grocery stores, maybe not wearing a mask outside, perhaps sitting on a bench…that kind of thing!

Sure, there will be a transition period. Dan has an inflatable couch for that. And Maureen has all these beans and plastic bins. And an Excelsior pass!

What’s an Excelsior pass? You’re about to find out.

Strap in, SaysWhovia! We’re going for a ride!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE VERDICT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 21 Apr 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Today’s episode is a little different. Dan and Maureen were about to record when the verdict came in, so they stopped until it was read. What follows is the immediate reaction to the verdict and a discussion of the strange, in-between times we live in.

Also, Dan has been trolling Maureen, and eventually there is a discussion about celery.

Content info: This episode, obviously, deals with the results of the Derek Chauvin trial and the legacy of black death at the hands of the police. Also, a rat catches on fire near the end.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SMOKE: IT'S WHAT'S FOR BREAKFAST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 14 Apr 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Could it be, SaysWhovia, that soon it will be time to rejoin the world? To dance and sing? Or, get dental care? Get gravy? Look out the window? Maureen and Dan are ready!

Well, they will be! Maybe! Give it time. Soon. Soon they will be. Just not yet.

So instead of traveling out, they travel back in time too when everyone smoked everywhere and things stank. Want to hear stories about eight year olds buying cartons of cigarettes for elderly relatives? You are in luck!

Maureen has been doing a lot of talking about her book this week as well. But even thought she has been busy, she has had time to look at Facebook. She should not look at Facebook, but she cannot be stopped. This takes us to a long trip to Maureen’s Facebook Corner, which leads Dan and Maureen to the topic of gun violence. Because, America. But there is hope, and it comes in the form of all those cigarettes.

Content info: the second half of this episode features a discussion of gun violence and gun policy, with references to police violence, domestic violence, and a one-sentence mention of suicide.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WHEN THE GOING GAETZ TOUGH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Thu, 8 Apr 2021 05:05:00 +0000

What a week it has been, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen are a day later than norm, because Maureen had a book come out on Tuesday. She had to do 19 interviews, which means she had to talk a lot. Blah blah blah, all day long. She is behind on the news.

Luckily, Dan has been paying attention! He has a story to tell her—a story about a man named Matt who did some very bad things. You may think you know all the bad things, but you don’t. Dan will tell you about them in tremendous detail. The story is weirder than you think. It involves a boy named Nestor, some photographs, a Florida lawyer, and spies!

Put your helmet on, SaysWhovia. Dan is going to take you on a ride.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SHOW ME THE MONKEY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 31 Mar 2021 05:05:00 +0000

It’s a big week here in SaysWhovia! Dan and Maureen have both received their first shot. Dan was slightly overwhelmed by the experience. It has been a long time since he has been out. Meanwhile, the sideways boat has been freed, which reminds Maureen of a time she was on a boat. A lot happened on this boat. She will tell you all about it. Neither of them are ready for prime time.

Down in Florida, local man Donald Trump is giving weird speeches at weddings, and also he will come to your party now, if you want him to. Do you want him to?

Put your lifejacket on, SaysWhovia. It’s time to get back into the water.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DAN GETS A STICK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 Mar 2021 05:05:00 +0000

CONTENT ALERT: Maureen discusses the use of a diet tracking app and eating behaviors from minute 32:14 until 35:04.

Toot toot! It’s Says Who time, and there’s big news! Dan is going to be vaccinated! He’s excitedly preparing to go to Walgreens. Maureen is not up for her stick yet, but she has been to Walgreens, so who is the real winner here.

America gets back to normal, ever so slowly, and that means a return to mass shootings. Which is tragic. Also, Roger Stone returns to the wild and Donald Trump has a big idea.

Nature is... well, if not healing, then it’s showing its strange, wild ass.

Hop in, Says Whovia. We’re going to drive past Walgreens.

Sent from my iPhone. I could be anywhere! Anywhere!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TOOT TOOT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 17 Mar 2021 05:05:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen have now been inside for a year. They like it in here. Outside is bad, and has teeth. Well, Maureen went out a little. She had to go to the doctor. She saw Times Square! She has been on an Adventure. Meanwhile, Dan has gotten his Biden Bucks and is now a fancy man. He’s all dressed up and in the basement, where he is content. They don’t know what they’re going to do when things get back to normal someday. Are these the before times?

Also, Maureen tells the story of a spooky hotel. She may actually know where the bodies are buried.

Sit down and get comfortable. This is a sleeper car.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MILK BAG

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 10 Mar 2021 06:05:00 +0000

*opens window*

Oh, hello! It’s a warm and sunny day, and Dan and Maureen are feeling good. It’s almost springtime. There are vaccine appointments on the horizon. People are getting their shots. Andrew Yang is going to be the next mayor of New York City…

Dan was saving that one for Maureen. Maureen is going to have to join the Yang Gang and move into a Tic Tok influencer house or something. He’s not sure. Maureen is unhappy about this, but she has news for Dan. Royal news. Also, she’s got all this loose milk powder from the quarantine supply, and it’s really gross. What do you do with COVID milk powder that’s been in the closet for a year in a loose bag? That is the question of the moment.

Because things seem . . . maybe . . . kind of good? Good-adjacent? Moving in the right way?

Anyway, Maureen has to go make Tik Tok with her new housemates. Here, hold this bag of milk.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 3 Mar 2021 06:05:00 +0000

*flips calendar page* Hey, we did it! It’s March! We made it one full year into the COVID lockdown! And Dan is… well, Dan is processing. He’s knows it’s March, but he doesn’t know what year. Maureen must break this to him.

It’s a SaysWhovian look back at a super duper weird year, and the strange, perpetual March that has everyone feeling ugggnnnhhhhnnnhhhhhhhh. Remember getting that first grocery delivery slot? Moving the furniture for working and schooling at home? Remember literally anything else?

Plus, CPAC unveils a literal golden idol, Cuomo is a no-no, vaccines are on the way…and Maureen has some weird stuff in a very loud paper bag.

It’s just a jump to the left, SaysWhovia, then a year of staying indoors to the right! *circles hips*

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BIG SHRIMPS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 24 Feb 2021 06:05:00 +0000

It’s been a long winter, SaysWhovia. And a long fall. And summer. And spring. We’d all like to get away for a bit. And who deserves a break more than Ted Cruz? Texas should not be so cold. He needs a break. Thus was Ted’s Cancun Adventure launched, and yes, Dan and Maureen are going to talk about it.

But that’s not the big story. The big story involves meat sizes, tiny bottles of ketchup, and big shrimps. Huge shrimps. It’s the most Says Who story of all time.

Also, Maureen ate too many apricots she found in the closet.

Please line up according to your boarding group, SaysWhovia. We’re taking off.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ICE TO MEET YOU

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 06:05:00 +0000

Dan is frozen inside of his house. Also, he has lost his mind a little. Things built up—homeschooling, work, the impeachment trial, and…TV lighting? Yes. TV lighting. Meanwhile, Maureen celebrated a quarantine birthday by doing laundry. Did we mention it’s cold? It’s cold.

At some point in the last week, an entire impeachment trial zipped by. Then Trump emerged from the grave and Mitch McConnell pulled some dirtbag moves. The ghost of 2020 lives on. You can see it, moving between the frozen shadows.

Get under this blanket, SaysWhovia. Stick together for warmth,

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE MADNESS OF DAN SINKER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 10 Feb 2021 06:05:00 +0000

Dan’s made some bad choices. Let's discuss them, together.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

JITTERBUG DAN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 3 Feb 2021 06:05:00 +0000

Welcome to February, the first Trump-free month! It is . . . making Dan very nervous. He cannot sleep. He is twitching. He cannot adjust. Also, he has twenty-nine jobs and twenty-eight of them might be impeachment-related.

Maureen is fine! And she wants Dan to be fine too. She will explain how to be fine. The first step is working out the difference between a Big Juicy Impeachment and a Lil’ Donut Impeachment. Will Trump make a stand? Will there be witnesses? What will happen?

Dan is still not feeling great, even after listening to Rudy getting chewed out by Steven Bannon.

SaysWhovia, Dan needs our help. Everyone clap for Dan! Clap him back to life! He’s got a big week coming up! We all do!

Big Juicy!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

OK FEET

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 27 Jan 2021 06:05:00 +0000

Just kidding. But it is definitely a better start than last week, when Donald Trump was in the final, weird days and hours of the presidency he won by collecting the most white nationalists. Dan and Maureen are adjusting to this new, somewhat slower life, where we don’t have to check Twitter every sixteen seconds in case Trump made a raccoon the Secretary of Defense during a midnight tweet storm. Now it’s just normal, slow politics.

Sort of! There’s still IMPEACHMENT 2: NOW WITH MORE PEACH. Rudy is being sued for a BILLION DOLLARS. The Conways are somehow much, much worse.

But first, let’s talk about feet. More specifically, Maureen’s, which are ok.

Time moves slowly in this new reality, so there’s a lot more time to let the weird stuff sink in.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

INAUGURAL BALLS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Thu, 21 Jan 2021 18:33:24 +0000

It’s happened. It really, really happened. Trump is gone. He got on a plane and flew away. Dan and Maureen are . . . trying to process.

This is new territory. How do you watch the news without screaming? How do you look at Twitter without flinching at the word BREAKING? How do we live in a reality that is changing every moment, like a room full of monkeys is controlling the switches? HOW DO WE FUNCTION NOW? HELP US.

Also, someone else has just moved into the White House and she’s very excited.

Come out of your houses, SaysWhovia! It’s time! Wait, actually don’t! There’s still COVID!

We’ll get there.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FISHING FOR RUDY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 14 Jan 2021 18:59:32 +0000

Insurrection, Impeachment, Inauguration… January of 2021 loves a Wednesday. Which is why Dan and Maureen are here on Thursday, clinging to the door like at the end of Titanic, trying to explain what’s been going on.

In short: a lot.

The slightly longer version: the fallout of the Capitol siege, a week of hilarious shitcanning, an impeachment, and a very sad Rudy. Yes, Rudy has been ghosted. There’s more, but who can even keep track anymore.

Also… this year’s slogan revealed!

Keep your head and arms inside the ride at all times, SaysWhovia. This one goes fast.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SAYS COUP

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 7 Jan 2021 19:09:50 +0000

A very busy day.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE END OF THE WORST YEAR

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 30 Dec 2020 06:05:00 +0000

It seemed like it was never going to come, but we are here, together, at the end of 2020.

Join Maureen and Dan for a little bit of looking back and a little bit of looking ahead and a little bit of that ol' Says Who magic here at the end of the worst year.

Plus: AN ANNOUNCEMENT.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A VERY SAYSWHOVIA PANDEMIC HOLIDAY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 16 Dec 2020 06:05:00 +0000

It’s the holiday season in SaysWhovia! Dan and Maureen are sitting by the fire, waiting to tell you a story. What’s the story about? Well, it’s about vaccines, and Joe Biden, and spreading cheer. Also, it’s about Rudy Giuliani visiting Santa and Maureen’s issues with wearing pants. It’s a real up and down sort of experience.

Come. Join SaysWhovia in this celebration. Get a cup of this nog stuff, don’t visit Santa, don’t ask about the pants, and enjoy!

Ho ho ho! HO HO HO. HO. HO. HO.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

JINGLE BALLS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 9 Dec 2020 06:05:00 +0000

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The weather is… unremittingly grey. People are… forced to stay apart. And it’s a season of giving… COVID to people who can’t or won’t avoid close situations.

Okay, so things could be better.

Maureen has turned her book in and is holding things together better than Dan expected. Dan is over the Chicago weather. But what’s this? News from the Trump legal team? Who now ALL have COVID. 100% COVID?

Dan and Maureen put on their mystery-solving hats to crack the case of: How Did Rudy Get COVID? Seriously, how? He did everything right! Someone get House on the phone. There’s an admiral mystery afoot!

And then Amy Carter’s Shoe comes and sings carols.

2020. Not over yet.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GRAND PRIZE WINNERS OF AN A**-HANDING CONTEST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 2 Dec 2020 06:05:00 +0000

Celebrate the moments of your life, SaysWhovia, that's what Dan says, because it's suddenly December and perhaps we need to remember those moments sometimes. Maureen does, as she's deep in the deadline on her book and doesn't think she's gotten anything done this year, you know other than write three books. So SaysWhovia, if you are listening it means you are here, at the end of the year, and that means you have gotten something major done indeed, so celebrate it!

Also celebrate the fact that we've now witnessed one full month of Donald Trump losing and re-losing the 2020 presidential election. November ended with both Wisconsin and Arizona certifying their election results, the latter with Trump calling the governor literally wile he was on camera signing the certification documents.

And SaysWhovia, even Amy Carter's Shoe is celebrating, in the way that only she can, which is better left unstated in these notes since there's already profanity in our show title and so Apple's probably already pissed.

But mostly SaysWhovia, celebrate the moments of your life... with General Foods International Coffees.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SHRUNKY DUNKS AND THE CAVE OF CUOMO with Akilah Hughes

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson, Akilah Hughes) — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 06:05:00 +0000

Gobble, gobble! It’s Thanksgiving week! In SaysWhovia, we celebrate in the traditional ways: cransberries pie, paper turkeys, and gravy made of whatever that was coming off Rudy’s head the other day! Yes, somehow it’s the end of November. Trump’s weird fall continues to fall weirdly, in a perpetual-motion machine of self-own. But Dan and Maureen aren’t going to talk politics at their Thanksgiving dinner table. Not in front of company.

Yes! Company! Akilah Hughes has stopped by to have dinner with Dan and Maureen. Akilah is doing great, and has not lost her mind during eight months inside. Not at all. Her very real relationship with TV man Chris Cuomo is going great. They are very happy together. In fact, their relationship is so healthy that Dan and Maureen can be a part of it. Did all three of them inhale plastic fumes as children? Maybe.

Anyway, grab a handful of mashed potatoes and join the gang. Where else do you have to be?

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SOMETHING ABOUT TEA AND CANADIANS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 06:05:00 +0000

It’s been two weeks since the election, and Dan and Maureen are doing great. Maureen is drinking some coffee in a can that she found. Dan is creeping around his house making tea. They discuss the fact that Dan can’t remember any band from the 90s, because there’s nothing going on and nothing else to talk about! Just tea and Canadians.

Well, there are maybe some things. Like the fact that Trump won’t concede the election and keeps losing lawyers. And that the fall COVID spike has arrived. And we have no idea how things are going to pan out in the next few months.

Seriously, though, for a guy who edited a music magazine in the 90s, Dan really has no idea what was going on. Maureen will explain, and while she does, she will pour some other stuff into the first stuff. Gross!

But that’s 2020. Weird and gross, and not nearly Canadian enough.

Get your flannel! It’s SaysWho time!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

PHILADELPHIA FREEDOM

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 11 Nov 2020 06:05:00 +0000

Hello again, SaysWhovia! It’s been *checks notes* two days since Dan and Maureen last recorded. What a time that was! The crematorium ash had barely settled on Rudy’s shiny bald head back then. Now, everybody’s been to the Four Seasons.

What malarkey awaits? Whither Mark Meadows? Who’s the boss in Trumpvania? And what the hell is going on?

Grab a podium. It’s time for a presser. You know where to meet us.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SEE YOU TOMORROW 3: SEE YOU TODAY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Sat, 7 Nov 2020 23:59:38 +0000

Amy Carter's Shoe is going to have one hell of a good four years.

Maureen and Dan are still a little shocked by it all, but they're here, to celebrate, with you Sayswhovia!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SEE YOU TOMORROW 2: THE TOMORROWER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Fri, 6 Nov 2020 20:46:32 +0000

Hey Sayswhovia! Dan and Maureen are back with a Friday afternoon update in this never-ending election week.

BUT WAIT: MAYBE IT IS OVER????

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SEE YOU TOMORROW

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 4 Nov 2020 17:27:02 +0000

So last night the election happened. Now it's today. We... maybe know some stuff? Or not? Or maybe? Join Maureen and Dan as they attempt to puzzle it through. There's math!

Plus, a very special guest opens the episode. What the actual living f*ck.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SAYS WHO ELECTION DAY SPECIAL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Tue, 3 Nov 2020 06:05:00 +0000

It's election day.

Uh, yay? No, that doesn't sound right.

It's going to be a long day, so join Maureen and Dan with some ideas on how to fill the time so you don't spend it all just furiously refreshing FiveThirtyEight.

See you tomorrow!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ONE WEEK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 28 Oct 2020 05:05:00 +0000

It’s just ONE WEEK until the election, and Dan and Maureen are ready. By ready, this means they are not ready. They are sort of ready. They are as ready as they will ever be, which is not that ready, but ready enough. So, not ready.

It’s time to talk about final moves, coping, and who might be hiding in your toilet.

SaysWhovia…assemble!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

RUDY'S MAGIC REPAIR SHOP

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan SInker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 05:05:00 +0000

It’s the calm before the storm, SaysWhovia. Or the eye of the storm. Or it’s not a storm. Or it’s not calm. Dan and Maureen are no longer sure. It’s 14 days until Election Day, except it’s not even that because people are voting already so…DAN KNOWS, HE KNOWS.

Maureen feels that the quiet is eerie. She has been working a lot. Dan is happy to hear it, because he has a story he would like to tell her—a story about Rudy and his Magical Repair Shop. A store of a pile of wet laptops, a sticker, a sad man, and what it means to be 50% sure of something. This story has it all. Mostly, it has Rudy. So much Rudy.

We’re in the chute now, SaysWhovia. WHEEEEEEEEEEE

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ALL THE PRESIDENT'S METH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 14 Oct 2020 05:05:00 +0000

It’s 21 days until the election at the time of recording. Dan and Maureen have gotten into the groove, now. They’re battle hardened. Do you think those two chumps from 2016 could have handled COVID Trump? They could not. This new Dan and Maureen can.

Kind of. Well, they aren’t crying as much as usual.

The President is on a lot of drugs and is flying around the country, like some kind of 70s rock star. Maureen knows a lot about those. Trump has big 1973 energy. Also, Maureen would like to know how election night is going to play out, but Dan will not tell her. Goddammit, Dan.

Pass to the left, SaysWhovia. It’s almost time to vote.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

COVIDMANIA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 7 Oct 2020 05:05:00 +0000

Maureen has had enough of everything and needs Dan to talk her down. Dan is fine with that—also, he has some facts he would like to share about who has COVID in the White House. Hint: almost everyone!

Then Maureen taps out and orders a weighted blanket.

That’s pretty much it.

Into the blanket fort, SaysWhovia. Cuddle up.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

The Trump-Has-Covid Special

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Sat, 3 Oct 2020 20:39:18 +0000

A lot of things happened between checks notes Thursday and Saturday. A lot.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SIMPLY THE BEST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan SInker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 1 Oct 2020 12:06:35 +0000

What more do you want?

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BIG METAL FINGER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 23 Sep 2020 05:05:25 +0000

It’s Tuesday again or something! Dan and Maureen aren’t sure. They think it is Tuesday. Anyway, things are fine. Dan is dealing well with Zoom Kindergarten, and Maureen has good news to share! Really good news! She had an adventure.

Of course, there are things that have to be discussed, like the passing of RBG and failed COVID policies in two countries. And the debates next week. Oh, that’s right. The debates next week. And Dan, because he is a jerk, won’t tell Maureen what will happen in the aforementioned debate. She wants to know. It’s all a lot, so why Dan is keeping this information to himself isn’t clear.

We’re really in it now, SaysWhovia. Time to stick together. Follow the big metal finger.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FOUR MORE YEARS with Ana Marie Cox

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Ana Marie Cox, Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 05:05:06 +0000

It’s here! The day that was never supposed to come! It’s the FOURTH ANNIVERSARY of Says Who! And, as with every other Says Who anniversary, our very first guest, Ana Marie Cox, returns to reflect on the year passed and the year to come.

Dan and Maureen are fine. They’re great. They’re definitely not coming apart at the seams. Maureen has been to Philadelphia and has a story about a turkey in a hat. Dan has given in to Zoom Kindergarten. Somehow, the phrase “emotional dump” come up and that features a lot, so watch out for that. Anyway, they’re fine. Four years! Here’s to the next four! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 9 Sep 2020 05:05:05 +0000

Splish splash! Dan and Maureen have washed up on the shore of another week. Dan is feeling better, partially because of his Thicky Chex dinosaur arms, and partially because Zoom Kindergarten was canceled today. Maureen is having fond memories of airplane coffee. It’s all about lowering your standards.

There’s a lot to discuss, but obviously, when life gives you a boat parade, you watch it sink to the bottom of a lake under the weight of twelve Trump flags. Michael Cohen wrote a book. And Trump has been looting a French embassy. So, pretty normal stuff as we approach the four year anniversary of the start of Says Who, and the nearly six month marker of whatever this pandemic thing is now. Dan and Maureen no longer know.

Ahoy, Says Whovia! We’re going right to the bottom!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ZOOM KINDERGARDEN/ARE YOU ON MUTE?

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 2 Sep 2020 05:05:21 +0000

Look. Dan's five-year-old has started kindergarten on Zoom and it's not going exactly what anyone would describe as, well, "well."

But don't worry, Maureen's got just the thing thing to cheer him up.

What could possibly go wrong Sayswhovia?

Nothing, that's what.

No thing.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MAN THE LIFEBOATS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 26 Aug 2020 05:05:01 +0000

Maureen and Dan are fine. Just fine. Once Dan duct tapes this mic, and Maureen makes sure she hasn’t taken the dog’s medication, they’ll get right to it. Because things are great. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Because today’s SaysWhovia is RETRO. Russian interference? Check. Steve Bannon arrested on a boat? Check. Weird tapes with people talking shit about Trump? Check. Kellyanne Conway ripping her go bag from under the floorboards and disappearing into the night? Check!

It’s everything we thought 2017 would be, but now with a crunchy outer layer of 2020! And again, Dan and Maureen are fine.

Get into this boat. We’re beating on against the current events, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SCHOOL DAZE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan SInker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 19 Aug 2020 05:05:13 +0000

It’s that wonderful time of year when either all students or some or none go back to school for an unknown period of time until everything closes down again and Dan is fine with it. Dan’s own Danlings are staying home, which means turning the house into a school. But all of this makes sense. Loads of sense.

Meanwhile, Joe Biden picks a running mate, the DNC starts, the post office is under attack, and Maureen has decided that maybe she doesn’t want to talk abut news anymore. Maybe there shouldn’t be news. Talking about school is okay, though. Or books. Or maybe not books, because she didn’t sound to happy about that either.

Can Dan and Maureen muddle through? Can Dan teach kindergarten? Can Maureen write? Are they… okay? Why do they keep laughing?

Buckle up, SaysWhovia. The bus is leaving.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

VEEP VEEP

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 12 Aug 2020 05:05:32 +0000

It’s the big day! Time to learn Joe Biden’s VP pick! Dan and Maureen are here covering it live, and definitely did not record this episode precisely one hour before the news broke. Of course they know who it is!

Because they are professionals, they cover all the news of the week, like how good America is at having COVID, how cool reopening plans are, and how bad Maureen’s school was at taking care of sick students. But the big story is the VP, and they totally know who that is. Completely.

Also, Maureen has an idea. Things devolve.

Says Who: it’s no a podcast, it’s one of many podcasts.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE NOZZLE KING OF DENVER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 5 Aug 2020 05:05:15 +0000

Maureen is home from the woods. It’s good to be home, back in the familiar place, back in…

Oh. There’s a little tropical storm happening. Nothing to worry about. Dan’s not worried. He’s…he’s rocking back and forth. What’s wrong with Dan? Has he been watching something? Oh. He watched the Axios interview.

Everything seems to be happening at once. It’s August. It’s back to school time, or not. Or possibly? Jared is in charge. Possibly. Sports is happening, or not. No one knows what the hell is going on, least of all Dan. Did you know Maureen can play guitar? Surprise! She can’t. And now Dan is crying again.

Buckle up, SayWhovia. There’s a storm blowing in.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

AN EXTRA HOUR IN THE BALL PIT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 05:05:20 +0000

It’s the height of summer, and Maureen has escaped to the woods for a week. It’s cool and green where she is. She swims in a pond, walks in the forest, buys backdoor food from hippies, and drifts around on an alligator. Dan, meanwhile, is below ground in Chicago, sweating away in the official Says Who basement. He’s fine too. For sure. He’s great. His neighbors have started an illegal, off-brand summer camp. That’s how good he is.

There’s been news this week, not that Maureen knows much about that. DoJo’s girlfriend took a plane, DoJo gets a temporary ban on twitter, the RNC was canceled… there’s many things to talk about. For instance, how tall is Thickie Checks? Can Maureen move into the walls of a barn? How many times can Maureen’s woodland internet go out in one recording?

But the real question is: What about the ball pits?

Come on in, SaysWhovia. The balls are fine. Wait.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FACE VELVET CHURCH DAISY RED

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 22 Jul 2020 05:05:37 +0000

SaysWhovians, it is the dog days of summer, which is something someone said once. But it is summer, and there are dogs! Also, there is a clicking and some banging and honestly, did you hear that? No, that.

Anyway, despite the distractions and also the doom, always the doom, Maureen and Dan talk about... beans? There's a lot of bean talk, if we're being perfectly honest here.

And they also talk about Trump's interview with Fox News's Chris Wallace which didn't go quite as planned and the next thing you know Maureen is taking a test to measure her cognitive decline. What could go wrong.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

LIFE, UH, FINDS A WAY with STEVEN RAY MORRIS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Steven Ray Morris, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 05:05:07 +0000

Welcome to day oné̷͕̓ ḩ̶͎̈́ú̶̞̩̎ndȑ̷͖̭ě̶̼d̸̘̅͝ á̶̡̀̚n̴̪̥͒d ṭ̸̜̐͘wěnty̸̙͂ oŕ s̶͉͙̚ơmĕ̸̺͉̀țhīņ̵̡̪͌g of quarantine! Dan and Maureen want you to know they are fine. They’re great. Because they’re so great, they’re going to talk about cool, great things, like Trump wearing a mask one time and plans for school reopening. Because it’s fine.

Well, it’s not *fine*, but…

Maureen has a new friend she wants Dan to meet. His name is Thicky Checks. It’s a normal thing. But Dan insists that they need to talk about the reopening of Disney World. And for that, they’re going to need the help of Jurassic Park expert Steven Ray Morris. It’s time to talk dinosaurs, risk assessment, hidden tunnels, Tomorrowland, and whether or not you should do it just because you can.

Hold on to your butts.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

YOGI DAN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 8 Jul 2020 05:05:19 +0000

It’s Maureen this time. She’s had it. Her brain made like a firework and blew up in New York. She needs to relax, do a little yoga.

Dan’s on it. He wants to talk to her about Disney... and their reopening plans. Or books!... written by Trump family members. Or DoJo being, well, DoJo.

Dan yoga is the worst yoga. Namaste?

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FIREWORKS!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 1 Jul 2020 05:05:04 +0000

What’s that? Oh, just some pre-Fourth of July fireworks. They happen every night now in New York. It’s festive! Maureen loves it. She loves the fireworks and how everyone is out in the street without a mask because everything is fixed now!

Wait, Dan is saying something. He’s saying things are not fixed. In fact, they are the opposite of fixed. He is pointing at a chart. Dan looks at charts a lot. And he keeps saying “wet holes.” It’s not okay.

Yes, Dan and Maureen are still inside, and they may be losing it. Also, Trump may have committed some light treason, there’s a rogue Conway, and we’re entering the second half of 2020… the difficult half.

Hold on to your butts, SaysWhovia. We’ll get through this together.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

COVID'S OVER (IF YOU WANT IT)

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 Jun 2020 05:05:06 +0000

It’s been a long week, SaysWhovia. Actually, it’s been a long fourteen weeks. Dan has kind of had it. Fourteen weeks indoors and COVID is taking hold more than ever in some places even as they open up. Dan has been looking at the charts and he is done. Done.

Maureen attempts to provide therapy. Perhaps they can talk about how famous figures have dealt with disappointment. Like, say, someone who was planning a big, big party for 800,000 people and only 6,000 showed up and you had to take down your outdoor stage before everyone got there.

Yes, it’s time to talk Tulsa! And Dojo's interview with his dad. And all of the many treasures this week has given us.

Meet us by the outdoor stage, SaysWhovia. It’s around here somewhere.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE INDOOR KIDS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson, Dan SInker) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 05:05:15 +0000

Welcome back to SaysWhovia! Dan and Maureen are back on their bullshit, which means they are back on the bullshit of others. Ted Cruz is trying to get an actor to wrestle Jim Jordan, because that is the kind of sentence we have to say in 2020. A Republican congressperson gets COVID and just can’t work out how it could possibly have happened, since he’s only gone out constantly and been touching everything. Some states open. Nonsense abounds.

But! There is also hope. Hope and change. There have been signs that the protests are having positive effects in regards to society, and non-positive effects in regards to COVID, which is a positive effect! Plus, good news from the Supreme Court? What the hell is going on? Dan and Maureen do not know, but they like it.

But COVID is still very, very much with us, so Dan and Maureen go through the Says Who guide to saying no to all those people who want to go get drinks or something. No. Just say no.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DO BETTER, DOOM LESS with AKILAH HUGHES

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Akilah Hughes, Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 10 Jun 2020 05:05:22 +0000

Hello, SaysWhovia. We took last week off out of respect for the events currently taking place. We return this week to see where we are now, and where we might be going. To help us look at the protests, the state of the union, the COVID crisis, and, because this is Says Who, a little Disney, we are joined by our friend Akilah Hughes.

We will be donating this month’s Patreon contribution to the Movement for Black Lives.

Now and always, Black Lives Matter.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

CUMMINGS AND GOINGS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 27 May 2020 05:05:01 +0000

It’s summertime in SaysWhovia! Time for surf! Sand! Sun! Staying indoors! JUST STAY INDOORS!

That’s what Dan and Maureen have been doing. They stay inside! But not everyone can say the same. The President is golfing again. People around the US are crowding into gross swimming pool bars. Disorganized reopenings are happening haphazardly all over. Who needs a plan? No one!

Meanwhile, in the UK, a man named Dominic Cummings made a magical journey, which Maureen wants to tell you all about. Find out how to handle getting sick and losing your vision the proper English way, by driving all over the place and going to a castle.

Surfs up, SaysWhovia! STAY INDOORS.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

OOBERSWANK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 20 May 2020 05:05:08 +0000

It’s been a busy week, SaysWhovia. For the first time in a while, Dan and Maureen are here to talk about the news and not just what they are bleaching.

The President’s Goons are going in and out of jail—mostly out. It turns out you can do a crime and say you did the crime and it’s okay.

The President himself has come out with some new medical advice. He’s been getting letters. Lots of letters. It turns out you can just write to the President and tell him ideas you have about medicine and then he will just take that medicine, because that is how things work.

Of course, Maureen has still been doing some bleaching, because we’re still bleaching, obviously. She has a new outfit she wants to tell Dan all about. It’s important. She needs him to know. In this world, you need a special outfit for when you bleach.

It’s time to get loose, SaysWhovia. Get comfy. Do some interpretive dance. Take weird drugs you read about in letters from randos. Do whatever.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ALL THE PRESIDENT'S COKES with HELEN ROSNER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Helen Rosner, Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 13 May 2020 05:05:14 +0000

Food. We all like it. We all eat it. We all have it served to us by a special military valet. So let's talk about food in lockdown with notable food writer and best person Helen Rosner.

Oh, but first, Dan and Maureen do a little run down of what’s going on in the White House. Unbelievably, after taking absolutely no precautions, COVID-19 has shown up in those hallowed halls. The President’s Diet Coke man has come down with it, and in response they are doing… nothing? Welcome to wild speculation about what the hell is going on!

And then we can get to grocery washing, pleasure eating, and how restaurants may ever reopen. It’s a feast!

Sit down, SaysWhovia! We set a place for you, and it’s all you can eat.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MOONFACE AND ME

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 6 May 2020 05:05:04 +0000

Peek a boo! It’s Dan and Maureen! Behind you! Surprise!

It’s been another indoor week, and Dan and Maureen are doing… fine? They don’t know anymore. They cannot remember the Before Times. But they’re pretty used to it all now. They go over the regular things, handwashing, types of beans, things you can do in a basement. But, in a change of pace from the last few weeks, they remember there is Other News, even though that news is still the same news.

Dan's on the hunt for who stole Maureen's drugs, and finds a new lead in an old place. But Maureen wants Dan to go read some George Conway and Trump’s tweets instead. Dan does not want to. Dan reads them anyway. They are in a fight and it is gross and dirty and Dan does not like it AT ALL. Dan is already queasy. He wants it to stop. Meanwhile, Maureen’s pup eats a microphone, bringing a new level of professionalism and sonic quality to the project.

So sit down and have some of these beans. They taste just like Taco Bell!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MR. PIZZA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 29 Apr 2020 05:05:47 +0000

Oh hello, SaysWhovia! You caught us at home! How fortunate. It’s been… 50 days? Something like that. And here we are.

Dan and Maureen are doing pretty well. There is the usual talk of bleach and masks. They discuss the need to keep busy and the feeling of not getting anything done. After all, one must count one’s beans and clean the doorknobs.

But! There are other things going on! More traditional Says Who fare! Michael Cohen is back in the news. He is writing a book, and Dan and Maureen want in! And there is another player on the stage. Dan wants to tell Maureen all about him. A new boyfriend, perhaps?

Anyway, come on in, SaysWhovia. We’ll wipe you down with Lysol wipes. Again.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DARK FRIENDS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 05:05:40 +0000

Here we are again, SaysWhovia! Back on the sofa at the Says Who coffee shop!

What? You never noticed the coffee shop? It’s always been here.

Always.

And there’s Dan and Maureen drinking out of really big mugs! They’re here to walk you through the week’s events including when you'll finally be able to get that facial and go bowling in Georgia. Or, the history of Pier 1 Imports! And the show Friends!

Dan doesn’t know anything about Friends, and that’s a lot of what this episode is. Because, quarantine! Find out just how much Dan doesn’t know about Friends, and witness the development of Dark Friends, where six friends live out quarantine and maybe do some murders.

... We'll be there for you Sayswhovians, 'cause you're there for us too.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

AUNT FANNY'S SCRAP BAG

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 15 Apr 2020 05:05:11 +0000

It’s…*checks calendar* *calendar bursts into flames*… who knows? Does it matter? It’s some day of the week! It’s SAYS WHO DAY!

What’s been going on with Dan and Maureen? Well, Dan’s been making masks. And Maureen went to the store one time! But no one can live at this rapid pace for long, so they are going to relax and talk about stuff they remember. Like biking around the neighborhood, and riding in cars with no seat belts, loitering at the fabric store, getting a bird a Sears, and the magnificence of dessert time at Maureen’s aunt’s house.

Oh, and they talk about the week’s non-virus news for maybe two minutes but that is perhaps too much for Dan.

Come on in, SaysWhovia. Have a coffee, and a cigarette, and a bird.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

AT HOME WITH SAYSWHOVIA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 8 Apr 2020 05:05:05 +0000

Well, SaysWhovia, here we are again! At home. Where we have been, and will be for the time being. Remember out? No, neither do we.

But it’s okay! Dan and Maureen are here to talk about at home stuff, in details. Grocery wiping! Mask etiquette! Nightly wipings! Other things that didn’t exist before! But, as always, SaysWhovia is a completely safe place to visit. You can come and go as you like. No hand washing required!

So, when you’re done Lysoling your mail, hop on over to the town square. We’ll be waiting for you.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SUPERHERO TIME

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 1 Apr 2020 05:05:07 +0000

*Wipes down pod catcher* Oh hello! We were just making this nice and clean for you! SaysWhovia is always a safe retreat.

Dan and Maureen are doing fine, in terms adjusted for these times. Maureen is trying to record in a bedroom with a dog who has woken up. She is… very awake. She wants to play. Oh, and Maureen injured her eye. You’re going to hear a lot about that. Dan is doing the same sort of thing in Chicago, but with both eyes. He’s got kids, a dog, and a house to clean and keep locked down.

Basically, the two of them are reporting in from locked rooms in two places where things are a little jumpy!

But it’s okay. There’s talk of plants, of games, of making, of change. And a lot of stuff about Maureen’s eye and dog. We can’t lie. It comes up a bunch.

In times like this, get weird. Put on your superhero cape. We’re in this together. All the love to you SaysWhovians.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

CASTLE SAYSWHOVIA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 05:05:18 +0000

*door creaks open* Oh hello! Let us take your bags. Welcome to Castle SaysWhovia, your safe port in the storm. Come in, come in!

Yes, we’re all in here together, but there is plenty of room at the castle. Come, sit by the fire. Dan and Maureen will tell you stories. Mostly Maureen, She’s pretty chatty. And you can admire Dan’s beard! Look how it shines in the firelight! They talk indoor life, plants, ferocious badgers, fancy night, and more coping, coping, coping. Coping! It’s what this has always been, and now is the time to shine.

Oh, and Rand Paul. Because… Rand Paul is Rand Pauling harder than anyone has ever Rand Pauled.

Plus, the return of Sayswhosterpiece Theater, as Dr. Anthony Fauci attempts to be the sole voice of reason in an administration that's gone fully off the rails.

Now, let us take your bags to your room. You can stay as long as you like. Don’t mind the ghosts.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

UNREASONABLE FISH DEMANDS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 05:05:05 +0000

Greetings from a medically safe distance, SaysWhovia! It’s been A WEEK, right?

Like, what did we even think other weeks were before this week? It is, to put it mildly, a lot to take in. Which is why we’re here, to bring some sunshine to your earholes!

Or something.

We’re bringing something.

Dan is getting help with the recording. Maureen just wants you to stop eating the carpet. Both are here to talk coping, doing good, and the unreasonable demands of fish.

SaysWhovia: a sunny place for you to visit whenever you need. *squirts you with hand sanitizer*

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TWISTER WITH TED CRUZ

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan SInker) — Wed, 11 Mar 2020 05:05:11 +0000

Oh hello, SaysWhovia. We were just bleaching everything. Sit down here, on this nice clean seat. We boiled it.

Yes, you know what we’re talking about—the coronavirus. It’s the most popular microbe around. We don’t want to freak anyone out, except maybe the entire Trump administration who do not seem to be aware that it is happening. Which is why they all went to CPAC and coughed all over each other and now the most hilarious quarantine of all time is happening. Imagine not being able to touch Ted Cruz for fourteen days. Great, isn’t it?

Of course, there is still an election, which means that two shoe sisters are at odds with one another. Whose balls are lower? Stretchier? How can we find out?

In any case, everything is safe here in SaysWhovia. We’ve never touched Ted Cruz.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TAFFY ON A LOOM

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Thu, 5 Mar 2020 06:05:06 +0000

Oh, don’t mind us, SaysWhovia. We’re just bleaching this podcast before you listen. It’s going to be very clean. We want you to know that our podcast is entirely safe to consume and free of viruses. Because that’s on a lot of people’s minds. Especially Dan. Dan is ready. No one is as ready as Dan. Not you, and not the government, or Mike Pence, or the CDC or anyone. Maureen has been getting on and off of planes, which makes Dan all twitchy. He wants her to stay inside, with a mask on, eating beans.

But forget all that. It was Super Tuesday. Candidates were dropping out all over the place, and Joe Biden suddenly lurched his long, hairy legs into the lead. Was Corn Pop by his side? We do not know. But someone does know a lot about Joe Biden and she has come to talk about him. She has not come alone.

Things are getting very 2020 around here. Grab a mask, SaysWhovia, and join us in the disinfectant yurt.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BIG COLUMBUS ENERGY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 26 Feb 2020 06:05:04 +0000

It’s the end of February! And in 2020, that means we are sandwiched between primaries and debates like some kind of Arby’s “we’ve got the meats” scenario except instead of meats it’s just unrelenting campaigning. Maureen is back from her vacation. She saw a boat! She saw a fish! She didn’t see the last debate, but that’s okay! Dan will fill her in.

Michael Bloomberg continues to be the Frye Festival of candidates, offering microinfluencers and randos money to text their friends because…why not? It’s 2020. Do your grift out in the open. And while we are on the subject of Team Bloomberg, Maureen wants to know what the fuck those guys are doing. She demands to know.

Trump was raveling this week. He went to India, and Dan and Maureen are here to do what they do best—look at the menu. He was also mad about the Oscars, which prompted Maureen to have a look back at a very informative profile published in 1997 that contains some truly remarkable tidbits. It turns out things have been weird for far, far longer than we knew.

Says Who: brought to you by Michael Bloomberg.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DAN'S LAST STAND

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 06:05:19 +0000

Ahoy, SaysWhovians! It’s the Good Ship Good News! It sailed into our port. It’s been so long since we’ve seen it. Dan has visited Disneyland. Maureen is on vacation. Today, they will speak only of happy things. That’s what Dan has planned.

Well. There will be a few little things. Like John Bolton’s book. And Stephen Miller’s weird wedding. But nothing will get in the way of… What’s that noise? Maureen is saying something. She wants to tell Dan a dream she had—a dream about a shark. A shark that comes in through a window. What a strange dream. Surely, it means nothing. What’s that? Maureen has something else she wants to tell Dan. Something Dan does not want to hear. Why is Dan crying? What’s happening? Was that ship in our harbor a pirate ship? Or was it full of sharks?

We’re going to need a bigger boat, SaysWhovia

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TUESDAY NIGHT MASSACRE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 13 Feb 2020 07:11:03 +0000

*yawns*

*blinks*

Oh hello, SaysWhovia. Have you been there all this time? Dan and Maureen have just woken up. They are in separate places—separate times, in fact—but neither seems to have left noddy-noddy-slumberland. Can you blame them? It’s 2020. Let’s all go back to bed.

But we can’t, can we? There is too much to discuss. The New Hampshire primary! The end of the Yang Gang! Joe Biden’s Wild Ride! And Iowa…what even happened there? No one knows.

Also, criming! So much crime. It’s open crime season. Just get out and do your criming in the full light of day. Trump is now all puffed up with power and is going about punishing the people who tried to defy him. You know, like an autocrat! It’s really bad! So let’s all get into the SaysWhovia napping yurt and have a nice snooze.

Don’t hog the blanket. We all need the cover.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

IOWA YOU AN EXPLAINATION

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 6 Feb 2020 18:16:19 +0000

Hey ho, SaysWhovia! Did you like last week? Did you? That was a week, right? A week in which time seemed to collapse into a single point. The singularity of bullshit. It was something else.

The impeachment trial has ended. Long live the impeachment trial. Dan is now finished with impeachment.fyi and his self-imposed 130-day stretch of total impeachment immersion. He’s fine. He’s absolutely fine. Don’t you worry. But before we get to that, we have to get to all the other things that happened at the same time, like Brexit, the State of the Union, and Iowa.

Yes, Iowa. The home of the caucus—the thing that none of us really get. Iowa had one job—give us the first point of information on the 2020 map. It’s like the groundhog of politics. And Iowa stood up, spun around fifty times, and then passed out. Iowa will go on forever. Long live Iowa.

And then, of course, we do need to talk about the impeachment and the State of the Union. Because that was all happening at the same time too. Did you forget? It’s just noe big event, SaysWhovia, and we’re in it. Together.

Grab a corn dog. This may go on for some time.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

AMERICAN CHEESE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Thu, 30 Jan 2020 06:05:03 +0000

What a week! Maureen was on tour. Dan was handling the impeachment! Everything went great!

Errrr. Well. Maureen went on 2/3 of a tour, then Things Went Wrong. Dan has been trapped in his basement, watching endless hours of Senate testimony. Both have made choices they regret.

But! What news? The defense has wrapped in the Senate trial, and now we are on to questions. And a little gnome named John Bolton popped his mustachioed head out of his hidey-hole and said, “Mayyyybbbbe I know something about this…” Will witnesses be called? Will Dan be doing impeachment.fyi for a billion more years? And Maureen has thoughts on book publishing.

Most importantly, we get to the matter of a White House dinner, and a very special moment for Says Whovians.

Grab a fork and sit down. It’s time to eat.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE HAND ON THE SOMETHING TOPICAL THAT RHYMES WITH "WALL"

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 08:27:53 +0000

Look, there's a lot going on. Today Dan was consumed by the impeachment trial which officially began and Maureen was consumed by the release of her new book The Hand On the Wall which officially came out. It's just a waves hands in all directions kind of day in a waves hands in all directions kind of week, month, year, take your pick.

Anyway, Maureen wants to talk impeachment and Dan wants to talk about her book and then actual breaking impeachment news happened in the middle of their conversation and they had to puzzle through it in real time.

Come, see how the sausage is made on this episode of Says Who.

And pick up Maureen's new book! It's very good!

PS. Dan wrote all this at 2 in the morning and has to keep one eye closed to see straight so who knows if it's actually understandable. Blue Apron!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

LOOK AT MY HORSE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 06:05:16 +0000

When we last left Dan and Maureen, they were, like most people, kind of freaking out because oh no surprise war. But then everyone kind of forgot or something and anyway, here we are, SaysWhovia! 2020 is clearly trying to make itself known, to show it is different and weirder than 2019. We don’t know what that means either.

But soft! There is much goodness. Dan has many tales of Says Who U. Maureen has a charting method to help you with your moods. You might need these things, because we are going into impeachment land again! And debate land! The holiday slowdown is over and all the systems are coming back online.

And Maureen needs to tell you about a horse she met. A horse that got into a house.

Saddle up, SayWhovia. We ride at dawn

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MJ AND THE WIRETAP MAN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan SInker) — Wed, 8 Jan 2020 06:05:06 +0000

Jeepers, 2020 got off to a start.

Dan and Maureen are back for thee first 2020 podcast, and they are…well…a bit uncertain how to address what the first seven days of the new year have been like. Spicy? Eventful? Something else?

But they have made personal strides. Dan has discovered the joys of the bullet journal. Maureen is getting things done and having strangers over to the house to help! Lots of strangers. Some with strange tales. In fact, the more she thinks about it, the more questions she has. Maybe it is best not to think about it.

And, of course, we are back on the impeachment train! Dan is hard at work cranking the impeachment,fyi back into action. John Bolton steps into the spotlight. The show is about to start. Does Dan have regrets? Maybe.

But also, things are hard and dark. Harder and darker than they've been. Sayswhovians, we know. We feel it too.

There is also a very moving story about a bonsai tree, and a real life Blue Apron encounter.

Keep your hands and your arms inside the 2020 at all times. The ride is about to begin.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

2020: GROW FOR IT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan SInker) — Wed, 1 Jan 2020 06:05:02 +0000

Should all Trump’s tweeting be forgot
And never come to mind!
It’s 2020 now my scrotes
Let’s leave that shit behind!

Yes, Sayswhovia, it’s a new decade! That was easy! We just woke up one day and, BAM! New decade! What did we learn in this last week of 2019? We learned that SaysWhovia is the best, that Trump is very bad at giving gifts, that Presidential libraries are weird, and that 2020 will have a spicy start.

But Dan and Maureen are also feeling reflective. There are many good things to take forward into the roaring twenties. It’s time to get our new slogan for the year, make our resolutions, and find out what’s under the Nixon bowling lane.

Raise a glass, SaysWhovia!

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

IMPEACH THIS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 19 Dec 2019 20:33:55 +0000

We did it! It’s happened! TRUMP HAS BEEN IMPEACHED!

And now…

Well. For a start, Dan is broken. He’s been working in his workshop day and night, watching the hearings, making crafts for good SaysWhovians, and going ever so slowly insane. He sleeps in a pile of cardboard and printed out transcripts. Maureen watched a bunch of it, but not all. Together, they work out what it all MEANS.

Trump has been taking it well. He’s been writing letters and having rallies. Dan and Maureen look into the Impeachment night rally. Trump has thoughts on toilets and dishwashers, which leads Maureen into a digression so deep a cave diver wouldn’t follow her in. But perhaps you will, SaysWhovia.

Let’s break it down, together.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

15 FLUSHES TO MIDNIGHT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan SInker) — Wed, 11 Dec 2019 06:05:12 +0000

Grab a plate, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen have been busy cooking up some news and are ready to dish it out. What would you like? Some hot, buttery Trump leaving NATO after getting picked on? Got it. We’re passing around some FBI documents, if you want to grab a few. Would you like some UK election news on that? Let us pour some on. We’ll be slicing up the impeachment any moment.

Which is our way of saying, it’s a lot. We’ve got it. But more importantly, we’ve got flushing, Tic Tacs, Irish Spring soap, and orange makeup from Switzerland. There’s so much here, it will take 10 to 15 flushes to get it all down.

Apologies. Dan and Maureen don’t make the news—they just talk about it. One must eat what one is given.

Tuck that napkin into your collar, SaysWhovia. Let’s eat. Because it’s going to get weird after this.

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen out now on Netflix!

Maureen's book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

AND IMPEACHMENT IN A PEAR TREE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 4 Dec 2019 13:10:39 +0000

Jingle, jingle, SaysWhovia! Dan and Maureen had a few issues getting the recording done this week. Dan threw a pair of scissors, then the internet broke, like, twenty times. So our friends are not as well as they might be. But it’s all fine, for this is the season of glad tidings and joy. That is what Maureen is here to remind Dan. Dan has other things to remind Maureen.

He wants her to know, for example, that Rudy’s son has a job at the White House as a sports consultant or something. And that Trump needs glasses. But mostly he wants to tell her about the impeachment proceedings, and how they are going. In the last few weeks, twelve witnesses testified. Twelve! Like the days of Christmas! And if Maureen had more juice in her caboose right now, she might even try to write lyrics for the Twelve Days of Christmas with the witness names pinged in, but she does not, SaysWhovia. Because Dan told her more things. He told her how he thinks things are going as we careen toward the end of the year and this phase of the proceedings and towards 2020 and the Senate and the election and…

…well, it’s all fine, SaysWhovia. Get yourself a cup of cocoa and sit yourself down. Tuck yourself under this nice blanket. We will do this together.

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen November 8 on Netflix!

Maureen's book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Join the listener-created SaysWhovia Minecraft server by going into multiplayer->add server and adding sayswhovia.mcph.co

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A MESSAGE TO YOU RUDY with Helen Rosner

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan & Maureen) — Wed, 27 Nov 2019 06:05:06 +0000

Oh, hello, SaysWhovia. We were just putting out the plates. There’s turkey and pie, and potatoes, and, why, I think we have a little impeachment left in the fridge.

Yes, it’s Thanksgiving! The holiday of feasting! Of pie! Of traffic! Of jumping over the table to wrestle another relative to the ground! Here in SaysWhovia, we celebrate communally. Everyone is invited. Dan and Maureen have been cooking all day and they want you to eat up. And Helen Rosner, food writer for The New Yorker, has stopped by for her annual visit! She talks tradition, family meals, and plays another round of “Would Trump Eat It?”

This episode also contains a Says Who first: AN EXCLUSIVE NEWS STORY. Yes. This is actually true. Telling you more would be spoiling it, but let’s just say… we’re a part of the story now. Not a bit part. Not a sane part. But a part.

Grab a fork. It’s time to get busy.

***

Today's episode includes the track "News Theme 1" by Audionautix, published under the CC3 license.

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen November 8 on Netflix!

Maureen's book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

ALL THE LARGE FAILSONS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan SInker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 20 Nov 2019 06:10:16 +0000

Oh no. Oh dear. It’s finally happen. We’ve broken Dan. It’s too much. It has been a week of hearings and news, and a very long day of hearings and news, and now Dan and Maureen are recording after twelve hours of hearings and they are not okay.

What have they learned? They are not sure. But they’ll try to explain it anyway.

Please help them.

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen November 8 on Netflix!

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NO JACKET REQUIRED: A SAYS WHO IMPEACHMENT SPECIAL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 14 Nov 2019 19:06:34 +0000

Ding ding! It’s a special Says Who bonus episode. As we’ve entered into the impeachment hearings, Dan and Maureen are here to watch and walk you through. Because this is going to be a lot.

A lot of what? Well, a lot of bow ties, and recitation of things we’ve heard, and bullshit. And a lot of water. So much water. Giant bottles of water. Listen to the story of two nerds doing their duty, dealing with questions from increasingly insane carnival employee Jim Jordan and last-pick mental volleyball star Devin Nunes. Why doesn’t Jim Jordan where a jacket? How much water is in that bottle? Is this just how we live now?

This is just the start, SaysWhovia. Pull up a chair to your old podcast player and rock a bit. It’s time. It’s happening. It’s now.

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen November 8 on Netflix!

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BURNER PHONE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 13 Nov 2019 06:05:06 +0000

Great googliemooglies, SaysWhovia, are we in for a week! Impeachment time is here. This will be a week of hearings, tweeting, and a whole lot of info dumps and nonsense. It’s also going to be cold all get out for a lot of us, so we will be huddled indoors, watching democracy or something! Who knows?

Who knows? Well, Dan knows! Probably. He seems to. This is going to be a big week for impeachment.fyi. He’s going to need a whole lot of conspiracy wall to keep up! As for Maureen, well, she’s been waiting for this for a long time. She’s ready.

And you know who else is ready? Noted cybersecurity expert Rudy Giuliani. Rudy is thinking about starting his own impeachment podcast, and Maureen could not be more ready for it. Rudy has been busy recently, making friends and texting reporters. Which gives Maureen a little idea…

This week is going to be so newsy that there will be a second Says Who on Thursday. So settle in with your blankets and warm drinks, Says Who. We have some watching to do.

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen November 8 on Netflix!

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE GREAT ESCAPE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Thu, 7 Nov 2019 19:36:12 +0000

Oh, hey there. How have you been? Dan and Maureen have both just gotten off planes. Dan was in Disney World with his family, where his wife ran a race. And Maureen was in Hollywood, going to a movie premiere. So, just another week.

Of course not, SaysWhovia. We kid. This was a special week, the calm before the storm. This week marked the one year mark before the 2020 election, and the week before the start of the televised impeachment hearings. It is only fitting that Dan and Maureen spent the time in La La Land and the Happiest Place on Earth. But Dan is back now and following the news again, and he’s fine with it. He really is. It’s all good. Just going through the depositions that reveal the quid pro quo action where people actually say quid pro quo out loud, in conversation. Rodger Stone is on trial. Don Jr. continues to look for, and be denied, love.

Yes, Dan and Maureen went far away to try to escape it all, just for a second. But they are linked to the news, like one of those paddle balls on an elastic string. The news pulls them back over and over, beating them mercilessly, punishing them for the distance they travel. Best to stay with the news, SaysWhovia.

So come, sit down in the SaysWho town theater and watch Let It Snow. Because next week, we watch hearings. Together.

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen November 8 on Netflix!

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A NOTE TO TIM

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 30 Oct 2019 05:05:10 +0000

Jeepers creepers, SayWhovia! It’s Halloweentime again. It’s time for candy, costumes, spooky movies, butt dialing reporters, and shitposting! Yes, it’s been a weird one. How weird? Weird enough that Rudy’s butt dials to reporters aren’t even close to being the thing that caused Dan’s mind to snap like a twig.

Oh yes. Dan has been working hard on impeachment.fyi. His mind is always spinning out with news, and his eyes roll in different directions. He is deep into the soup. Maureen has been in Texas and preparing to go to LA for the premiere of Let it Snow. She also had a problem with her pen.

And there’s Brexit, of course! The ultimate spooky Halloween treat for our UK friends! That’s going well. It’s all just going really, really well. And now, as we roar into full impeachment and the holidays, things are only going to get better.

Trick or treat, SaysWhovia. Smell our feet, Give us something good to eat. It’s the witching hour, and someone needs to call Tim

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Watch Let it Snow, based on the book co-authored by Maureen November 8 on Netflix!

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SPACE HORSE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 23 Oct 2019 05:05:01 +0000

Howdy, partner. Dan and Maureen are just riding around on some space horses, russlin’ up some news. Lots of news going on, lots of talk around the saloon.

But first, Maureen is traveling a lot! Not right now, but soon she’s going to that there Los Angeles. Dan has a new computer, so that is also very exciting. This means he can keep up with all things impeachment without his computer catching on fire. And there is a lot of impeachment news. There’s a fake French connection, an outright confession, and lots of bullshit from up there on Bullshit Mountain. And in England, Brexit twists and turns.

But Dan has one thing on his mind: space horses.

And Maureen makes a surprise appearance with America’s favorite couple.

Come on down and sit a spell with us, and we’ll tell you all about it.

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THAT'S SO RUDY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 16 Oct 2019 05:05:02 +0000

We all feel pretty experienced around here in SaysWhovia. We like to think we can handle some news, and even a lot of news. It takes practice to deal with a week like the last one, in which it was all of the news. Do you think someone with a 2016 brain could handle goons disappearing in the middle of the night with one-way tickets to Vienna and a company named Fraud Guarantee? 2016 brains would have blown up. We are tough now.

At least, Dan is. Dan has to mainline this stuff all day, every day, because he started a impeachment update service and now this is his life. Maureen can skate on. She has spent this last week in Los Angeles, looking at movies and strange LA businesses that do things like cryofreeze your aura. She has stories of hotel rooms, fruit, and a nice man with a camper stove. Dan just wants to talk about impeachment, because his mind is full and the news is starting to come out of his beard.

And who knows? Maybe by the end of it all, Dan will also exchange texts with Rudy. Why not?

Get your phone out, SaysWhovia.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

CHEW THE NEWS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 9 Oct 2019 05:05:13 +0000

Whatever will we talk about this week? Oh right.

Literally everything. At once.

Dan and Maureen are ready to break it down--they have been training for this moment, SaysWhovians.

But first, they have to parse how any child in the '70s or '80s survived. And Maureen needs to know how much a Whopper costs. And Dan has a story about a talking pile of clay. And also there's a thing about chocolate cake. And the pup is sick.

But after that, everything. Definitely we get to that.

We chew it so you can gulp it back.

Gobble, gobble, SaysWhovia. It’s time to eat!

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE WHISTLEBLOWER COMETH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker) — Wed, 2 Oct 2019 05:05:11 +0000

Oh hello there, SaysWhovia. Come sit beside us on the porch. We’ll have some lemonade and tell stories about the old days, like a week ago. It was a different world then. Back then, sometimes we only had two news cycles a day! Things were slower. Life crept along.

Now, of course, the news cycle is… well, there’s been a new one while you were reading this! We’re on a water slide! Are we going into a fun pool or a shark-infested pool or a fun, shark-infested pool? Who knows! But there’s SOMETHING at the end of this slide! Let’s all find out together.

But first, the briefest of reviews of this week. There’s Brexit and corruption and impeachment and more corruption and subpoenas and more corruption and blatant tweeted crimes stuff and hard drives and some corruption. Dan has written it all down. The whistleblower is whistling, SaysWhovia. Can you hear it on the wind?

Toot toot!

***

Dan's tracking impeachment news and sending out updates every day. Sign up at impeachment.fyi

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SaysWhosterpiece Theater presents: the Trump/Zelensky call

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Thu, 26 Sep 2019 17:47:20 +0000

Normally episodes of Says Who come out on Wednesdays, but these aren't normal times and special for EVERYONE is a bonus episode of Says Who! Specifically a very special SaysWhosterpiece Theater: Maureen and Dan read the (don't call it a) transcript of the call between Trump and Ukrainian President Zelensky. This is the (not a) transcript that the White House released thinking it would let all this blow over. You'll never guess what happened next.

If this is not yet enough Says Who for you this week, there is also an entire hour for our Patreon Town Watch backers. Get on board at patreon.com/sayswho.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

IN-GREECE-MENT PROCEEDINGS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Dan Sinker, Maureen Johnson) — Wed, 25 Sep 2019 05:05:13 +0000

Maureen is in Greece, Dan is back in his basement, there's a eight hour time difference and also mountains and dolphins and while it sounds like paradise, well, it is.

And yet, and yet there is trouble around the edges--the news won't stop. At the time of this recording (the halcyon days of yesterday morning), Brexit had been thrown once again into question and Donald Trump was getting in too deep with the Ukraine.

Of course since then, well, Pelosi spoke and now impeachment has begin. Or something--that bit's still a little foggy if we're being honest. BUT DO NOT FEAR SAYSWHOVIAN, because Dan and Maureen saw this coming and are already making their post-Trump Disney World plans once again.

Because, SaysWhovians, maybe it is happening? Certainly SOMETHING is happening and where would you more like to be than bobbing in a salt water pool with Maureen and Dan like buoys, warning oncoming ships of dangerous waters ahead.

Or, you know, something.

SHOW NOTES

Dan just wrapped his summer on the road, give a listen to Season Two of The Hitch now full and complete with 66 days of adventure.

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THREE IS A BULLSHIT NUMBER with Ana Marie Cox

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 05:07:00 +0000

Well, well, well. Here we are. Three years after Dan and Maureen agreed to do something for eight weeks, this deranged carnival rages on. It's the Says Who Third Anniversary Show! And, like she does on each anniversary, Ana Marie Cox returns to see how far we've come.

How far is that, exactly? Bret Kavenaugh is back, and so is Sean Spicer. You know what? Forget it. Just forget it. You don't want to know what happened this week.

Except for some stuff about lightbulbs.

Let's just talk to Ana instead, about hope, learning, moving on, and moving forward. With any luck, we won't be having this discussion next year.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WIZARD SH*T

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 11 Sep 2019 05:19:00 +0000

Here we are again, on the eve of the third year anniversary of Says Who. Dan and Maureen have gotten together to parse the events of the week. They have been--and this is painful to say--weirder than most.

But first! The Says Who U experiment continues. There are benefits to getting away from this stuff from time to time! Dan is pouring concrete and making yogurt! Maureen is...

...listening to Parliamentary debate. Because Brexit rages on to its conclusion.* Parliament is grasping back some control just as Boris Johnson tears it away, and a figure named Black Rod enters the chamber to move the magic stick. Britain is metal as hell.

Here in the US, the President gets a pen and shitposts about celebrities. Maureen wonders what the hell is wrong with him. Perhaps he has swallowed a glass piano.**

Also! There are debates this week! Things are happening! Good things? Bad things? Just things? Only time will tell.

Get your magic rod. It's Says Who time.

Brexit will never conclude.
** You heard me.

SHOW NOTES

Dan just wrapped his summer on the road, give a listen to Season Two of The Hitch now full and complete with 66 days of adventure.
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SQUALOR AND CHAOS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 Sep 2019 22:00:00 +0000

So it begins. We've passed Labor Day and now we're in that exciting transition from summer to fall--a time to new starts and getting back to work.

Maureen has just finished a book! And now she is getting some new furniture so she can stop storing clothes in a VHS tape cabinet. Dan has returned to his house, which is filled with dust and ghosts. Both have taken time each day to get away from screens, and they like it!

But. This is Says Who, which means that they must look upon the news. Dan takes the US, running through the latest weird capers of Trump. Maureen is handling foreign affairs--she gives a breakdown of the major Brexit developments occurring this week. Rules! Drama! The Queen! It's a lot. Strap in.

Get your new school supplies and take a seat, SaysWhovia. We're getting down to business.

SHOW NOTES

Dan just wrapped his summer on the road, give a listen to Season Two of The Hitch now full and complete with 66 days of adventure.
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SAYS WHO U

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 05:07:00 +0000

Ah, the end of summer. The back to school sales. The backpacks. The books. The pencils. The premature PSLs. The cooler weather ahead. Nuking hurricanes. Calling yourself the Chosen One. It's all classic stuff.

Dan and Maureen are easing into the fall with this summer wrap-up. They are taking the time to look back and look ahead. It's been almost three years of Says Who. What will the fourth year bring? They decide to talk to their August 2020 selves and let them know it's all very normal and very cool.

But remember: this is a coping strategy. To that end, Dan and Maureen start Says Who U. Want to learn to cope with your friends in SaysWhovia? Get ready to take the first chill-out mental health challenge!

Come on in, everyone! It's last splash time!

SHOW NOTES

Dan just wrapped his summer on the road, give a listen to Season Two of The Hitch now full and complete with 66 days of adventure.
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE FIRST ONE HUNDRED

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 21 Aug 2019 05:03:00 +0000

Well, we did it! We did the thing we didn't mean to do, probably didn't want to do, and certainly never expected to do. Welcome to EPISODE ONE HUNDRED of Says Who, the podcast that was only supposed to last for eight episodes.

Dan and Maureen take a look back--first at the last two weeks of news, and then at the last hundred episodes. What have they learned? What wisdom can they impart to their 2016 selves? Is this coping? It gets personal, and then it gets weird.

It's triple-digit time, SaysWhovia.

SHOW NOTES

Dan just wrapped his summer on the road, give a listen to Season Two of The Hitch now full and complete with 66 days of adventure.
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

99 PROBLEMS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 7 Aug 2019 05:07:00 +0000

Great Googliemooglie.

Dan and Maureen meet once again, this time both on American soil. Maureen is home in New York, and Dan wandering the west, though he no longer spends his time in hot cars outside of pyramids. The summer of 2019 rages on. Rage being the operative word.

It was not, to put it mildly, the best week ever. Things in the US are not going great. There have been two mass shootings in 24 hours. And there were two debates. Terrible twos. Dan and Maureen are having a hard time making sense of it all. But the job is not to make sense--it is to cope. And they have been coping for 99 episodes now and are staring at the oncoming 100th episode.

So.

Dan watched the debates because Maureen did not and has prepared his report. His report is that he did not like them. Maureen gives her ringworm update. And Amy Carter's Shoe reveals more than ever before.

99 episodes of Says Who in your feed.
99 eps of Says Who
There were supposed to be eight
But things didn't go great
99 eps of Says Who

SHOW NOTES

Dan's back on the road this summer, so Season Two of The Hitch is OUT NOW. Weekly episode drop on Mondays!
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE DARK TEATIME OF THE SOUL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 05:03:00 +0000

Pip pip! Maureen is in England, trying to enjoy life for a second. But Dan is lurking, and he has notes. He was been following the news. Maureen cannot hide in butterflies and sunshine and tea. There are Events to Process. There's no running away.

So what has been happening? Well, Trump is turning up the racism, which is not news--it's just turning everything up to eleven. But racism. So much. Things are rolling downhill faster and faster.

Maureen is desperate. She'll talk about anything but the news. Anything. Literally anything.

Things go downhill. But we go downhill together. It's time to roll, SaysWhovia. Down the hill. Here we go.

SHOW NOTES

Dan's back on the road this summer, so Season Two of The Hitch is OUT NOW. Weekly episode drop on Mondays!
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BAD NEWS EVE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 05:05:00 +0000

What can we say, really.

Summer burns on, and things continue to brew. Dan is in Colorado, and Maureen is about to go to England. The UK has a new Prime Minister. Mueller is about to testify. We're on the verge of everything and nothing. And Dan and Maureen are...well, not well. Their brains are turning to gravy.

Here follows are two people trying to make it all make sense. How does it end? Impeachment? Change? More of the same? Or...IN A MUSICAL?

Stay vigilant, SaysWhovia. We're in the Weird Times.

SHOW NOTES

Dan's back on the road this summer, so Season Two of The Hitch is OUT NOW. Weekly episode drop on Mondays!
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE GREAT GARBAGE FIRE OF THE MIND

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 05:07:00 +0000

It's the height of summer! Time for fun! Time for swimming and cookouts! Time to get out there and have a good time!

So Dan and Maureen hear. But they do this podcast, which means they track the news. And this week, Maureen has decided to rebel. No more news. She is done. She has decided to go to the moon.

But Dan has rented a booth in a co-working space in Santa Fe and demands that the journey continue. What are we learning, SaysWhovia? How does one process 2019, in particular this last week of 2019, which has devolved into a slurry of sewage and anger. The same way as always! Talk through it until either Dan or Maureen has heatstroke or loses a tooth. Maureen dreams of such sweet release. But no, there are tweets to discuss, and 2020 candidates, and Brexit.

And the moon. There is always the moon.

And each other.

Come to the green at midnight, SaysWhovia. We will look at the stars together and eat ice cream.

SHOW NOTES

Dan's back on the road this summer, so Season Two of The Hitch is OUT NOW. Weekly episode drop on Mondays!
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DAN IN A HOT TIN CAR

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 10 Jul 2019 05:07:00 +0000

Hey, SaysWhovia! It's summertime! It's time for picnics, swimming, lounging, and...checks notes sitting in a hot car at noon in New Mexico recording a podcast!

Yes, Dan, a Podcasting Professional, has once again found internet on the road. Sure, it's in a hot car, but when have hot cars ever been a problem? There's lots to talk about as Says Who took the holiday week off. Maureen also rode in a car! And swam in a pond! She does not want to talk about politics. But this is Says Who, and we do it so you don't have to. That is our pledge.

This week, the President's Very Big Parade was rained on. The British revealed their real feelings about Trump. A terrible predator with close ties to the administration was arrested. Someone left the 2020 race, but someone else stepped in, and...

Dan is out of water. The sun is getting higher.

Oh, and the President is obsessed with Purell. All germs, really. He really, really does not like germs, almost as much as he really, really likes parades.

Dan is fading. Someone help Dan.

And next week is The Big Mueller Show! Time to get the lawn chairs! And the jaws of life! Smash the window, SaysWhovia. It's time to get out!

SHOW NOTES

Dan's back on the road this summer, so Season Two of The Hitch is OUT NOW. Weekly episode drop on Mondays!
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A BAKED POTATO

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 26 Jun 2019 17:24:00 +0000

Last week, Dan and Maureen were in dire straits. Dan was in the back of a hot car near a pyramid, and Maureen got punched by a dog. This week, things are much better. Dan is now in a hot trailer, and Maureen dog is sleeping, so nothing can go wrong.

In fact, things are looking up and getting spicy. A hero emerges in Chicago and spits on Eric Trump. NRATV goes down. Mueller's public testimony is scheduled. And the two Democratic debates are about to begin.

In preparation, Dan has a list of every contenders' favorite comfort foods. Maureen is not emotionally ready. She never will be. Maureen does not want to watch the debates. But she will, because in SaysWhovia, we show up, so you don't have to.

Get your comfort food. It's time to watch some TV.

SHOW NOTES

Dan's heading back on the road this summer, so Season Two of The Hitch is OUT NOW. Weekly episode drop on Mondays!
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MEET US BY THE PYRAMID

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 19 Jun 2019 05:04:00 +0000

We've had lots of times together, SayWhovia. We've experienced many moments together. Today, we are going to experience more, for today is one of the stranger recordings we've ever done in the town square.

Dan is sweating in the back of a car near a pyramid. Maureen is doing just fine in New York. She is talking about things like the departure of Sarah Sanders, the race for a new Prime Minister in the UK, and the 2020 Democratic debates. Dan is sweating a lot, like, a lot, because he is recording in a back seat in Tennessee.

But when Dan and Maureen get into the Trump interview, problems develop. Before it's all over, things... go wrong. Not everyone will make it out of this recording in one piece.

Nothing can stop us, SaysWhovia-- not technical issues, or heat, or the cops, or a giant pyramid, or physical injury... well, that last one might.

SHOW NOTES

Dan's heading back on the road this summer, so Season Two of The Hitch is OUT NOW. Weekly episode drops come out on Mondays!
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Rolling Out

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 12 Jun 2019 05:07:00 +0000

Summer's here, and everyone's hitting the road! Dan's back in his trailer, Maureen's done with her book, and Trump is off making a great impression across the Atlantic. Surely nothing can possibly go wrong.

Wait for it: Everything kinda went wrong.

Trump insulted royalty, he threatened to take away the national health service, his large adult sons skipped out on their bar tab, and someone gave him an enormous hat to wear. Plus, he sat down for a meal that contained zero things he might actually eat.

Put on extra sunscreen, order an extra large Slurpee, and get ready for summer with Says Who because things are heating up!

SHOW NOTES

Dan's heading back on the road this summer, so Season Two of The Hitch is starting soon. Get caught up before the new shows start rolling June 17.
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

LIVE FROM POD X

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 5 Jun 2019 05:07:00 +0000

Live from Pod X in beautiful Nashville Tennessee, it's Maureen and Dan out of their closet and basement and instead sitting right next to each other doing an episode! In front of people! Really!

But whatever could they talk about? Thankfully ROBERT MUELLER HIMSELF spoke! Also in front of people! Really! Did he have the voice of an angel? What did he say? Let's discuss, shall we?

And then Donald Trump got on an airplane and traveled to Japan to give a sumo wrestler the President's Cup, which was a thing that did not exist until now. And then... they ate food. Steak? Check. Vanilla Ice Cream. Check.

And finally, we've got 23 candidates for the 2020 Democratic primary which means... Amy Carter's Shoe paid a visit. And she's real.

If you weren't there in Nashville, come on and dance with the one who brung ya.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Dan's heading back on the road this summer, so Season Two of The Hitch is starting soon. Get caught up before the new shows start rolling June 17.
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NOSFERATU 2020

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 22 May 2019 05:11:00 +0000

When we last left them, Dan was in Chicago in the cold drizzle and Maureen was in the puppy pen. Dan is still in the drizzle. Maureen, however, has made it on to the sofa! The puppy is asleep. All is peaceful and calm. Things are good.

But ARE they, SaysWhovia? Is this situation under any kind of control? What happens when the people who are in charge just stop abiding the law? At what point do we stop tolerating this and fight back? When is enough enough? Where is the line in the sand? WHITHER IMPEACHMENT?

Dan would like to know. Maureen has thoughts, but the puppy is awake and needs to pee. Ah, no. The puppy is peeing. And it's Sayswhosterpiece Theater time! This time, we have Mr. Says Who himself, Michael Cohen!

Oh, the puppy is extra awake. The puppy is ready to play. Maureen is losing control of the situation. How does this end? Does SaysWhovia have a dog park?

Sometimes the tooth is sharp, SaysWhovia, but we keep going.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SAYS POO

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 15 May 2019 05:05:00 +0000

Look. Maureen is in the puppy pen again. Sometimes, she goes in there all on her own. Times are tough all over OK? Don't judge.

Remember the halcyon days of checks calendar two weeks ago when it seemed like we were in a real lull period? Yeah, not anymore so much. Shit is getting real all over and so on...

BARK

What's that?

BARKBARKBARK

Oh, more puppy talk? Sure, we can work with that.

Also, Maureen attempts to name all 22 Democratic candidates for mayor, Bill Barr gets found in contempt, and Amy Carter's Shoe reveals something about Joe Biden that you ABSOLUTELY WILL WANT TO UNKNOW. Plus, Oscar pays a visit! It turns out he's real and not a character Maureen has just made up all these years. Who knew?

Anyway, we're trying.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

LEGAL IS OPTIONAL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 8 May 2019 05:06:00 +0000

We are between worlds, SaysWhovia.

In some sense, everything is calm and normal. People go to work and shop and eat. Kids ride bikes. But, much like on Stranger Things, something lurks beneath. The Report has arrived, except no one can get it. William Barr is called by the House and...doesn't show up. Tax records and requested and not provided. It turns out you don't have to follow the law! Or something! Whatever!

Maureen and Dan try to work out this new reality. Can you just do whatever now? Are 2020 elections canceled, or have they already started? Will Trump just decide not to leave and stay forever?

WE JUST DON'T KNOW!

But, Maureen also has a puppy so we can talk about that for a while. Puppies are better.

Everyone into the puppy playpen, SaysWhovia. It's safe in here.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GAME OF SCROTES

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 1 May 2019 05:07:00 +0000

Here's the thing...

...it seems kind of normal out there. Or so Dan thinks. It's quiet. Too quiet. This weekend, everyone enjoyed some Thrones and Avengers. It almost felt normal. Things must be...

noises

Oh. Maureen got a puppy! SaysWhovia has a new resident! Her life is on fire, but good fire! But fire. And, as you will see, she has a different take on this period. And she has brought textual evidence from the SaysWhovian readings, from the Book of Bannon. And she's not in the closet.

Life seeps in, SaysWhovia. But what does it mean? What's coming next?

In the Game of Scrotes, you win or you...well, it's just more scrotes.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FRIENDS ON THE OTHER SIDE with Akilah Hughes

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 Apr 2019 06:03:00 +0000

We're in it now. It's stupid noon and the town has gathered on the square. The gunfighters are facing off. The sheriff is holding a copy of the Muller Report. Everything is quiet, except Fartin' Joe who eats all the beans. Impeachment? Or more crimes? All crimes? Are we ceding the town to the varmints?

Oh, we could wonder about that, or we could spend a blissful hour with Akilah Hughes who was an ACTUAL DISNEY PRINCESS AND KNOWS ALL THE SECRETS OF THE KINGDOM! Guess which we do.

Guess guess guess guess guess.

That's right. Put your Mueller report aside because IT IS TIME TO TALK DISNEY ON SAYS WHO.

Let's disappear into the tunnels under SaysWhovia. Don't mind the bodies, they never die here.

SHOW NOTES

[FOLLOW AKILAH!] (https://twitter.com/AkilahObviously)
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NO REALLY NOW IT'S MUELLER TIME

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Thu, 18 Apr 2019 20:29:00 +0000

Welp. Here we go.

THE MUELLER REPORT IS OUT. THE MUELLER REPORT IS OUT. THE MUELLER REPORT IS OUT. This is not a drill.

Dan has spent the morning speed-reading a shitty PDF. Maureen has spent the morning recovering from a late-night arrival back from Los Angeles. Two after the report's release, they get together to talk over the sound of drills and hammering at Maureen's apartment and sort out WTAF is going on.

Strap in SaysWhovians, it's go time.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

JUST STICK IT IN THERE, CHAD

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 10 Apr 2019 05:05:00 +0000

It's important to do your homework. Maureen knows this. Dan knows this. You know it. Study. Be prepared. Learn.

Which is how we come to this week, in which Britain crashes headlong into a brick wall of its own making as it tries to condense one of the most colossal decisions in their history into two days. A week in which a President who has a vocabulary that could be written out on six flashcards gutted the Secret Service--a Secret Service who found a bunch of really hinky spyware drives and asked the question, "What if we just stuck this in our computer full of secret information?" What if, SaysWhovia? WHAT IF?

Is it possible that things are not running as well as we had hoped?

Plus, Maureen is traveling again. Dan is about to lose his beard.

And we all take a strange trip down to Mar a Lago to learn... something. We learn something OK?

Stay in school, SaysWhovia.

SHOW NOTES

To learn more about the odd goings on at Mar a Lago, the Miami Herald is the paper of record. Their series "Trump Tourism: Access For Sale" is worth reading in its entirety.
Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

POD SAVE THE QUEEN with HAYES BROWN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 3 Apr 2019 05:05:00 +0000

Here in SaysWhovia, we frequently sit on our porches of an evening, talking to our neighbors about whatever ****ery Trump has done that week. Like, claim his dad is from Germany, or threaten to shut the border or blow up all of healthcare. Or, you know, a normal Wednesday.

But how often do we look over at the tremendous ****ery that's going on with our British Cousins, in SaysWhovia, UK? Because, as it turns out, A LOT IS GOING ON, and we've got Hayes Brown from Buzzfeed in for our BREXIT BREAKDOWN.

Plus, Maureen had a blender and she needs to tell Dan all about it. And SaysWhovia got a postage machine!

Pour yourself a cup of tea and turn off the telly. It's time for Says Who!

SHOW NOTES

Hayes Brown is on Twitter!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and SAVE 10% and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MUELLER, MUELLER ON THE WALL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 27 Mar 2019 06:05:00 +0000

Finally, a week without news.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

LET'S TAKE FLORIDA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 20 Mar 2019 05:05:00 +0000

It's been a full TWO WEEKS since the last episode. This is because both Dan and Maureen have been traveling. Dan has been going west! And Maureen has gone to Florida, and Florida, and Canada!, and Florida.

In fact, she's still in Florida! And her mic doesn't work!

Why so much Florida? Many reasons, Sayswhovians. One of them is for research. Because, if we are going to win, we are going to need to take Florida back. Maureen is studying its ways, watching golfers and yacht-buyers and people with hats. The Says Who Revolution starts in the Everglades.

Meanwhile, it's been a big two weeks for crimes! So many crimes. Paul Manafort crimes and rich people crimes. The President is taking it all well and nothing is wrong.

Also, there is Brexit, which is also going fine and nothing is wrong.

Pull up a chair under this patio umbrella and catch up with us. We need to start building SaysWhovia. Let's make a plan.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE MYSTERIOUS MR. CALAMARI

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 6 Mar 2019 06:03:00 +0000

Trump has been busy in Hanoi, getting...well, nothing done! He is mad! He is sad! Things are bad! Everyone and everything in his life is about to be examined. He's going to need to talk to some food about this. Yes, the hamburger buffet is back!

Maureen has had a busy few days, which means that again, Dan has been looking into things. And he's found something. Or, he's found...well, he's found the Mysterious Life of Mr. Calamari, the COO of Trump Inc. What's with this squid? Dan has much to tell in that he has nothing to tell. It's like the opposite of the omelette story.

Why does everything in this come down to food?

Who's hungry? Hungry for hamberders? Hungry for testimony? Hungry for documentary evidence? Well, get a plate, because the buffet is open!

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THINGS ARE COHEN YOUR WAY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 27 Feb 2019 06:35:00 +0000

What's this? Maureen was at Disney over the weekend? It's true. The reason was sad, but it was therapeutic. Disney is there to embrace us at our time of need. So once again, Dan was steering the Good Ship SaysWho into the seas of news. AND THE SEAS ARE CHURNING.

As we record, we are on the eve of Michael Cohen Mania. The President's former lawyer and professional goober is about to spill the beans on TV. He has a story he wants to tell, a song he wants to sing. Meanwhile, the President is going to meet with his penpal, Kim Jong-Un, and will probably do anything to take attention away from Michael Cohen. Maureen thinks they may even have a sex, right there, on the TV!

MEANWHILE, Paul Manafort got in trouble for telling every single lie and Roger Stone got in trouble for accidentally on purpose putting a crosshairs on a picture of the judge in his case. No one here is smart, and it's all coming to pieces.

Thankfully, we have SaysWhosterpiece Theater to bring some class to Roger Stone's gag order hearing this week. And playing the role of Roger Stone's lawyer, we have a special guest: podcasting and radio great Starlee Kine.

Did we mention Disney? Let's think about that.

Make sure your head and arms are inside of the car, SaysWhovians. The bar will lower automatically. We are going on a ride.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

OMELETTE YOU FINISH

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 20 Feb 2019 06:05:00 +0000

Maureen has had a Bad Week and didn't follow any news. Not to fear! Dan has once again been following the most important story of the week. Paul Manafort.... no. The shutdown being... no. Not that either. Oh, Rodger Stone threatening his judg... no? Not that?

What was it?

It turns out Dan has outdone himself and has poured hours and hours of research and collected documentation and collected the dots on... a photo of Trump getting an omelette? It sounds implausible, silly... but then he breaks it down, taking you on a wild journey that goes from Walgreens, to DoJo's divorce, to the award-industrial complex, art fraud, the mob, some people named Muffy and Biffy, attempted murder, and a goddamned giant eagle statue.

This week, Dan may win a Pulitzer. Or possible the Blue Apron award for journalism. This time, Says Who has the story first. We're the Woodward and Bernstein of breakfast bars, and we're just looking for our Deep Throat.

Take a tray, SaysWhovia. You can have as many toppings as you want.

EPISODE FOOTNOTES

First, follow along with the Trump Omelette Bar Photo

Picture One: Walk with Walgreens

"‘Celebrity Apprentice’ serves up Walgreens walking papers in Walk with Walgreens promo" Drug Store News April 2 2012

"The Celebrity Apprentice: “Walking Papers (Parts 1 And 2)" AV Club April 2 2012

"Aubrey O'Day: I had a sexual relationship with DJT Jr" TMZ March 23 2018

"Did Aubrey O’Day really write a song about Donald Trump Jr.?" Washington Post March 20, 2018

Picture Two: The American Academy of Hospitality Sciences Six Star Diamond Award

American Academy of Hospitality Sciences

"The Trump Files: Guess Who Gave Donald His Big Awards" Mother Jones November 1 2016

"The Preppy Don" New York Mag April 1995

"Art of Thievery Puts Man Behind Bars" UPI June 28 1989

Miss Universe 2008 Judges

"Donald Trump appears alongside convicted felon with mobster ties at New Year's Eve party" New York Daily News January 3 2017

"Trump hosted 'small-time mobster' Joey 'No Socks' Cinque at New Year's party" The Guardian January 3 2017

THE REGULAR SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A DOG AND BONER STORY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 13 Feb 2019 06:02:00 +0000

Maureen is back from Costa Rica and Dan is happy. Dan wants to bring her back into the fold, to share his suffering. But is it so simple? Maureen has seen a monkey. She is on a different wavelength now.

Dan has so much to share with her. For example, the President had his physical, and once again, he is strong like Iron Man despite a diet of cheeseburgers, candy, and rage tweeting. We have been subjected to stories of Jeff Bezos's dick pics. Roger Stone has merch. And Donald Trump tried to ruin the entire concept of dogs.

But Maureen cannot be moved. She is still thinking of coconuts. What will bring her back? It turns out, there is something that will crack her.

Also, it's time to buy the Says Who boat and set sail together. Gather your loved ones. It's time to go. Ahoy!

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

STATE OF THE WHOVIAN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 6 Feb 2019 18:15:00 +0000

This week, Maureen comes to you from Costa Rica, where she is recording outside, while an ocean breeze blows and the birds call from the trees. She has not had good Wifi and therefore doesn't know much about what has been going on.

Dan knows what is going on. He has followed all the news, read all the stories and reports and supporting documents. He watched the State of the Union. Maureen could not, because the Wifi went out completely on Tuesday night for about twelve hours, so there was no contact with the outside world. She spent it communing with friends and nature.

Dan seems tense, even though Maureen explains how all things are connected. There was a monkey in a tree. This does not seem to help. Dan walks Maureen through the state of the Russia investigation and breaks down Executive Time.

But Maureen is seeing things with different eyes.She encourages Dan to take her hand and come to the ocean. Will Dan go? Does he understand that All is One? Where is he going? Why is he screaming?

Sit down, SaysWhovia. It's time to breathe deep. Namaste.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

F***NUT SUPERGROUP

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 30 Jan 2019 06:03:00 +0000

Maureen was away on a book tour last week. Luckily, it was a quiet week in which nothing happened.

Oh wait! Things DID happen, and Dan wanted to talk about them. It's all been building up inside of him. Trump folding, and then Trump folding, and then Roger Stone getting carted off. All of this is a fascinating prelude to the week's BIG story--Maureen's Panel of Sister Husbands. Yes, all of Maureen's paramours formed a F***NUT SUPERGROUP for one night only to win her heart. There's Michael, the smart one; Jerome, the emotional one; Sam, the cucumber man; and Everyone's Favorite, Carter. Who can choose?

Oh, and yes, the shutdown ended and Roger Stone was arrested in a pre-dawn raid and it's all happening.

Here we go, SaysWhovia. Get yourself a Nixon tattoo and hang on to your butts.

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

LIVIN ON A PRAYER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 06:05:00 +0000

Hold your head high, SaysWhovian, because you, YOU, have made it through the halfway point of the Trump presidency. It hasn't been easy, sure, and the government may be shut down, there may be a bucket in the window of the White House, Rudy Giluiani may be just spouting bullshit all the time but look: nobody said it would be easy.

But here we are! We are halfway there! We are living on a prayer! Take our hand, we'll make it we swear! Whoa, oha, that's all the lyrics we remember.

All this, plus Maureen leaves for tour, Amy Carter's shoe returns, and a bunch of other bullshit. Wait.

Here we go!

SHOW NOTES

Maureen's new book The Vanishing Stair is OUT NOW. NOW! FOR REAL NOW!!!
And she is out on tour today!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

HAMBERDERS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 16 Jan 2019 06:20:00 +0000

Hamberders.

SHOW NOTES

See the table arrangement and where the hamberders were.
There's still time to pre-order a SIGNED copy of The Vanishing Stair!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is NOW OUT IN PAPERBACK

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

PRIME TIME, CRIME TIME with Lisa Tozzi

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 9 Jan 2019 07:12:00 +0000

It's so late, Sayswhovia. It's nearly...ten o'clock! But Dan and Maureen have stood sentinel by the television and waited. And watched. And they saw the speech. All ten stupid minutes of it. How could A MERE TEN MINUTES be that dumb? It was like the TARDIS OF STUPID. Did you know that a wall could pay for a wall? DID YOU KNOW IT?

But that's not all the stupid today held! Paul Manafort's lawyers made an oopsie. And some Russians sold a painting. So many marvels! Dan and Maureen examined them all and return to you with their report.

Also, did you remember that the government is still shut down? Neither did we and neither did our guest, the amazing Lisa Tozzi from BuzzFeed who calls in to explain how we got here and how maybe we will never ever get out. But upbeat. Really!

Mostly, though, Maureen wants to go to bed, but Dan has been possessed by a demon. Get a pillow and priest, Sayswhovia! It's showtime!

SHOW NOTES

Follow Lisa Tozzi on Twitter.
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is NOW OUT IN PAPERBACK

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

HERE WE GO!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 2 Jan 2019 06:04:00 +0000

Should old acquaintance be forgot and never talk to mimes...
It's something something something some thing some thing it's Says Who Time!

Dan and Maureen are back after the holiday. They had a good time, unlike SOME PEOPLE. Since the last Says Who, most things have been quiet, except for major resignations, the government shutting down, and the stock market crashing. Donald Trump had the holiday sads at the White House, where he rattled around, waiting for three ghosts to show up. But no one wants to work there, not even a ghost. So he did a lot of tweeting about...walls. And wheels. And walls. And concrete. And not concrete. And he pretended to work and have meeting and be busy. You know. Normal stuff.

The first of the year is a time to look backwards and forwards, and maybe even side to side. Dan and Maureen have a good old talk about 2019, and how they're going to approach it. And they have come up with a new slogan for the year--the successor to To the Maxx!

Here comes the Says Who bus! Get on board and take a seat! We're going to 2019!

SHOW NOTES

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is NOW OUT IN PAPERBACK

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE NAUGHTY LIST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 19 Dec 2018 06:04:00 +0000

Ho ho ho! HAPPY HOLIDAYS, SAYSWHOVIA! Let's all gather around the fire with a cup of hot chocolate and talk about the wonders of this last week. Or just Tuesday. Tuesday was a lot. There was the official Michael Flynn ass-handing ceremony, and the lighting of the Trump Foundation bonfire. But does Santa have other surprises in his sack?

Dan has compiled a list of the current wonders that are going on with all things Trump. It has not been a good year for Fearless Leader, and things are coming to a boil. Also, it seems that the President does not like Christmas. Someone needs cheering up! Maureen has an idea! Maureen often has ideas.

This Says Who is filled with warm memories, wishes, Santa, carols, and Pockets the Clown. Yes. Pockets the Clown. Don't ask too many questions. Pockets does not like questions.

Pull up a tree. It's Says Who time.

SHOW NOTES

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Special for you: Get 10% off Robert Mueller and Pee Tape Prayer candles from Dan's site omfg.church by using the code SAYSWHOVIA
Maureen's book Truly Devious is NOW OUT IN PAPERBACK

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE ONE WHERE EVERYTHING HAPPENS with HAYES BROWN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 12 Dec 2018 07:04:00 +0000

Everyone likes a nice, quiet week.

SHOW NOTES

Hayes Brown is on Twitter!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Special for you: Get 10% off Robert Mueller and Pee Tape Prayer candles from Dan's site omfg.church by using the code SAYSWHOVIA
Maureen's book Truly Devious is NOW OUT IN PAPERBACK

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BARRON TRUMP, BOY DETECTIVE with SARAH WEINMAN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 5 Dec 2018 07:16:00 +0000

The game is afoot! The dice are cast! The candles are in the wind! Other detective-y things!

Look, there's a lot of questions right now. Like: What is Mueller up to? Is there anyone in the Trump family not deeply dedicated to criming? Who can lie more, Michael Cohen or Paul Manafort? What's a convenient way to get a single potato mailed to my house?

You have questions? WELL WE HAVE ANSWERS.

This week on Says Who, Maureen and Dan pull in an ACTUAL MYSTERY EXPERT to help us crack this case wide open. That's right, we're joined by Sarah Weinman who is ACTUALLY KNOWN AS "THE CRIME LADY" to help us look at our suspects, consider the motives, and SOLVE THIS SO COMPLETELY THAT YOU WILL BE LIKE MUELLER WHO?

Or something.

Probably.

I mean, we're not making any promises.

But like the great Hercule Poirot said: One must seek the truth within--not without

SHOW NOTES

Sarah Weinman is on Twitter!
You can subscribe to her newsletter, "The Crime Lady"
And you should buy her book, [The Real Lolita](https://www.harpercollins.com/9780062661920/the-real-lolita/
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Special for you: Get 10% off Robert Mueller and Pee Tape Prayer candles from Dan's site omfg.church by using the code SAYSWHOVIA
Maureen's book Truly Devious is NOW OUT IN PAPERBACK

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

HOLDING DOWN THE MANAFORT with CHARLOTTE CLYMER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 28 Nov 2018 06:04:00 +0000

Well, shucks! We've crossed the Rubicon from Thanksgiving into the holiday period. Did everyone have a good Thanksgiving? The President did! He had a totally normal time with checks notes a salad bar and "barbed wire plus."

Dan and Maureen have scoured the news this week, looking for clues in the perpetual case of What The Hell Is Happening Now. And it seems like something? May? Be? Happening? It is hard to say. But it looks like Paula Manafort might have been doing some lying? You are shocked, we know. "Not MY Paul Manafort," you said, aghast.

To bring clarity and light, Dan and Maureen talk to Charlotte Clymer, Press Secretary for Rapid Response at the Human Rights Campaign and general wonder. Charlotte is also a veteran, and she has a lot to say about Trump's relationship with the military. She also talks about how to be an ally to your trans friends, and how to celebrate your authentic self.

As opposed to your lying self who lies. So many lies, SaysWhovia. So many lies are happening.

Grab a mug of hot chocolate and something from the salad bar. It's time to break it all down.

SHOW NOTES:

Follow Charlotte Clymer on Twitter.
You can read Charlotte's piece about how fashion helped her find authentic self here.
More of Charlotte's articles can be found on the HRC website here
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Special for you: Get 10% off Robert Mueller and Pee Tape Prayer candles from Dan's site omfg.church by using the code SAYSWHOVIA
Get Truly Devious for $1.99 until December 3rd!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NO PIE FOR YOU, CHAD with KAT KINSMAN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 21 Nov 2018 07:39:00 +0000

Good gravy! It's Thanksgiving again! Time to sit with the family and pass the turkey and stuffing. And the pie! Oh, the pie. Cousin Chad would like pie! Cousin Chad is wearing a MAGA hat and is trying to own the libs. NO PIE FOR CHAD.

Come to SaysWhovia instead and sit at our table. Come. Have some gravy. Relax. And we have a special guest at the table today! It's Kat Kinsman, who has come to talk about food! And anxiety! And food! FOOD.

Dan and Maureen have, of course, been paying attention to the news this week. Their predictions from last week did not come to pass, but still...Trump has written answers to Mueller's questions. Did he really write them himself do you think? Can he write at all?

Also, Maureen tells Dan how to meet Santa.

Get a plate, SaysWhovia! Have a nice, hot helping of 2018.

SHOW NOTES:

Follow Kat Kinsman on Twitter. She is a wonder.
Kat is is the senior food and drinks editor at Extra Crispy, and has a great article about gravy.
She is also the author of the book Hi, Anxiety: Life with a Bad Case of the Nerves
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Vote for Maureen's book Truly Devious in the Goodreads Choice Awards.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

HOPE OR GAS? with IMANI GANDY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 06:03:00 +0000

Hey, did you bring a surfboard? Because we're still on a BLUE WAVE.

When Dan and Maureen recorded last week, it was right on the high of the election of the night before. No sooner had they left the basement/closet, then all heck broke loose. Trump did a weird, weird press event and then stormed into the depths of the castle to boot Jeff Sessions from the parapet. And while we all enjoy the sight of a flying Jeff Sessions, we also had to wonder: WITHER MUELLER? And what do these rolling election results mean?

Obviously, Dan and Maureen don't know anything. Time for an expert! Today's guest, Imani Gandy, is a lawyer and co-host of the podcast Boom! Lawyered! and she is HOPEFUL! Or gassy. We are not sure anymore. We think it is hope but it has been a while. Her conversation is like a REFRESHING SWIM IN A LOVELY SEA. The kind of place you'd find a BLUE WAVE. Tune in for some liquid sunshine, legal style!

Surf's up, SaysWhovia.

SHOW NOTES:

Follow Imani Gandy on Twitter. She is great!
Listen to Boom! Lawyered to get a great legal read on what the hell is happening.
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE 2018 ELECTION SPECIAL

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 7 Nov 2018 19:18:00 +0000

It's morning in SaysWhovia. Grab yourself a cup of coffee and sit down, because Dan and Maureen are going to go through the events of last night--and this morning. Dan hasn't slept much. Maureen made double-strength coffee. It's time for some HOT news, still unfolding. Let's go through it together.

What IS this feeling? Is it HOPE? Is it EVERYTHING NOT SUCKING?

It's group hug time.

SHOW NOTES:

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SAYS BOO with HAL LUBLIN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 05:04:00 +0000

oooooOoOOOOooOoOOOoOOOOoohhhh it's ONE WEEK until the midterm elections and everything is fine. Absolutely fine. Except for everything that is not fine, which, apparently, is most things.

It was not a good week out there. Things are rough. Which is why we need to keep it together, make a plan, and get the job done next week.

In SaysWhovia, Dan has lost track of when and where he is, so Maureen decides to take him on a trip to Disney World. And she's invited their friend Hal Lublin along! The only problem is...it's Halloween. Disney World is being invaded by ZOMBIES. How will the three of them survive the zombie attack in the Happiest Place on Earth?

Join us on this GHOULISH adventure. And vote. You know that, right? You have to vote. And volunteer.

And we said vote, right?

SHOW NOTES:

Listen to Hal Lublin every week on We Got This, Tights & Fights and Good Morning Night Vale. Wow he does a lot of things.
Want to volunteer? Click here to find your closest swing district!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennessee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SAVE YOUR BRAINMEAT with SWING LEFT'S AARON HUERTAS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 05:02:00 +0000

Oh no! Dan and Maureen are broken! The reason? 2018 has eaten their PRECIOUS BRAIN MEAT. It's too much. Too much news. Too much information. Too many polls and attacks on sanity. IT IS TOO MUCH AND NOW WORDS DON'T WORK.

So this week we are here to talk about how to repair YOUR PRECIOUS BRAIN MEAT. We do that by talking to Aaron Huertas from Swing Left. He brings enthusiasm, clarity, research, and an ACTUAL PLAN to help us deal with and assist in these last two weeks before the 2018 election.

This one matters. It really does.

Also, we discuss the SaysWhovia Pumpkin Festival.

Things are weird. Get a pumpkin.

SHOW NOTES:

CLICK HERE TO GO TO SWING LEFT RIGHT NOW!
Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennsesee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A WHOLE NEW WHO with CHUCK WENDIG

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 17 Oct 2018 05:01:00 +0000

IT'S HERE! Welcome back to Says Who's WEEKLY SERVICE! This week, we launch the new Says Who experience--an updated logo, our new MASCOT, TOUR DATES, and our PATREON.

It's all happening! And just in time. Because it's a lot out there. But here in SaysWhovia, we watch out for each other.

And we're joined on this exciting occasion by author Chuck Wendig, who recently made some news by being too "vulgar" for Marvel comics, and has thoughts on the internet, writing, spiders, and apples. How do we make things in the weird, weird world of 2018?

Let's find out together. Come on! LET'S GO TO SAYSWHOVIA.

SHOW NOTES:

Support Says Who and become a citizen of SaysWhovia by joining our Patreon today! You really can join for just a dollar. Or more if you want!
Join us at PodX, May 31-June 2 in Nashville Tennsesee, use this link to get your tix and we'll see you there!
Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

We love Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GARBAGE RUMSPRINGA

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 3 Oct 2018 05:02:00 +0000

Oh dear.

Last week, all six thousand years of it, lurks around us, its events still unfolding. You know the ones--Brett, Tobin, weightlifting, boofing, Beach Week, ralphing, Yale Law School, and beer. These are all things we had to deal with after a courageous woman put herself on the line and told the story of her assault to a largely sneering, indifferent panel of ghouls.

None of us wanted to know about the Bro Adventures of Brett, but here we are, in 2018 America. Dan is broken. Maureen tries to help, but Maureen is also broken. But! There is much to dissect here. Who backdates a calendar? What does Tobin want? Whither UB40? What does that one neurotransmitter in Maureen's head do all day? Does Mike Judge really love Walgreens? Dan and Maureen are prepared to take a bite of the hot and stanky meat of last week's rancid sandwich in order to give you a comprehensive review. And maybe stop the internal screaming in your head? Maybe? That is the goal.

Come on over. We're going to Tobin's.

SHOW NOTES:

Listen to The Hitch, Dan's travel podcast.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SAYS TWO! WITH ANA MARIE COX!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 19 Sep 2018 05:06:00 +0000

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US! WE'RE TWO YEARS OLD!

Yes, it's the Says Who two year anniversary show! This was never supposed to happen! We should have been done in 2016. But here we are, "celebrating" two years of doing whatever it is we do! And to celebrate with us, our first guest, Ana Marie Cox, joins us again to talk about where we're at. We talk service, politics, and beans.

Also, Dan and Maureen have ACTUAL BIG NEWS TO SHARE. No, really. We have NEWS that will rock SaysWhovia to the core!

PLUS! A book report on Bob Woodward's FEAR. We read it! We totally read it.

And Dan has something to say about a toad? Toads are nice. That will be a fun story!

It's just TWO MUCH. So come with us, SaysWhovians! Get a piece of cake!

SHOW NOTES:

This episode's organ music is performed by Josh Kantor
CANDLES
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!
Read [The Westing Game]{https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002VFPRTQ/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1)

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FALCON, RABBIT, SHARK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 5 Sep 2018 18:52:00 +0000

It's a funny thing, recording a podcast every other week in 2018. You just never know. Maybe you record on a quiet Sunday night thinking that everything will be chill for a day or two and then EVERYTHING HAPPENS, EVERYTHING.

It's September! Dan is back in Chicago! Maureen is...flat on her back in New York with the return of the Terrible Stomach Flu Or Some Kind Of Poisoning. To entertain Maureen as she is in her bed of pain, Dan recounts the many events that have transpired. Michael Cohen. Paul Manafort. The death of Senator McCain and McCain's posthumous message to Trump and America. The flag that went up and down and up and down. Trump tweeting...so much.

And there's a new book coming! And it sounds like it is REALLY SOMETHING. Dan and Maureen read some of the previews. What DOES happen when you put a snake, a rat, a falcon, a rabbit, a shark and a seal in a zoo without walls? Who would do that? Is a zoo without walls even a zoo? Dan and Maureen consider this for some time. Also, Dan is done with John Kelly. Done. Maureen is sipping Coke over crushed ice and trying not to barf. And so are we all, Sayswhovians. So are we all.

It's fall, Sayswhovia. It's game time.

CANDLES
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!
Read [The Westing Game]{https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002VFPRTQ/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1)

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SAYS WHO SUMMER READING REPORT

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 22 Aug 2018 06:12:00 +0000

Hey! Anything interesting going on? Dan and Maureen have been off doing their summer homework. Dan is finishing up his trip around the country. Maureen has been in New York having stomach flu. Because of this, they recorded another Sunday Summer Special!

Because nothing was going to happen between Sunday and Tuesday, right? RIGHT????

So this episode is our BOOK REPORT on Unhinged! We read it so you didn't have to! Find out: who loves Don Jr. (hint: no one), the terrible process of getting on to The Apprentice, and how Omarosa hides things by the Diet Cokes! It's all terrible! All of it!

But this isn't about terrible things. This is about looking forward to fall, focusing on coping, the Says Who Kindergarten, and finally getting that big money sponsor.

Get back in the pool for one last splash before summer is over!

SHOW NOTES:

Don't buy or read Unhinged.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!
Subscribe to Dan's new podcast, The Hitch
Order HOW I RESIST now!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MOUNTAIN DAN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 8 Aug 2018 05:08:00 +0000

He's got a big beard, a skillet full of beans, a loyal dog, and he's in an Airstream trailer in the middle of Montana. It's MOUNTAIN DAN, and his sidekick, METROPOLITAN MAUREEN. Together, they solve crime!

Okay. They don't solve crime. They record podcasts. And in Dan's case, they do it sitting on the floor of the trailer, by tethering a phone to a computer. This is the most rough and rustic Says Who yet--the last, fullest expression of summer. Dan is out experiencing America. Maureen is doing what she always does--sitting around in New York.

What's going on? It's summer vacation. Neither of them know. Something about a jacket? Fuck everything, it's summer! And for no reason at all, Dan and Maureen are talking about survival. Namely, about what to do when The Monsters come and you have to raid a SuperTarget.

Before the madness of the fall takes us, sit back and find out how long your hosts would last before being eaten by MAGA hat-wearing monsters. Pod Save America isn't giving you this kind of content, is it?

Brought to you by Blue Apron: when the end times come, we'll mail you a potato.

SHOW NOTES:

Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!
Subscribe to Dan's new podcast, The Hitch
Order HOW I RESIST now!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

VLAD TO HAVE YOU

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 25 Jul 2018 17:02:00 +0000

Every time Dan and Maureen say that too much has happened in the two weeks since the last episode, but this time they mean it, they really, really do. Because it has been too much. When you try to drill down into it, you find there is no it and no drill and you've just been falling while pretending to drill like a CHUMP.

But that won't stop Dan and Maureen. Why would they stop? Or did they mean to say why wouldn't they stop? lol. That's a Trump joke. Everything is funny now.

Obviously, this is serious business so Dan and Maureen get right down to it with no hesitation. Right to the most important story of the past two weeks. We all know what that is. No need to even say it. Before it's all over, we'll talk about bad spying, Michael Cohen, Carter Page, and about what words mean. And pie. There's a whole bunch of stuff about pie. So many pies.

Oh, and Russia and how the President is probably utterly compromised but hey, pie!

SHOW NOTES:

A gallery of Maureen's friend Amy's state fair-winning pies.
Woodchucks ate Paul Ryan's car.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!
Subscribe to Dan's new podcast, The Hitch
Order HOW I RESIST now!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

INTO THE WOODS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Fri, 13 Jul 2018 00:42:00 +0000

What's that sound coming from the trees? Why, it's Dan and Maureen, emerging in podcast form! Maureen was in England, doing more marriage things. She was in the English woods, where the WiFi is not so good. (Hence the delayed episode.) Dan is almost three weeks into his Airstream tour of America.

So what have our travelers learned? Well, while Maureen was in England, it decided to fall apart. Brexit is not going well, and the government is splintering. England is also preparing for Trump's visit with a giant balloon!

Meanwhile, Dan reflects on our nation from campsites and national parks. What is life like in a big metal box? Pretty good, as it turns out! Both Dan and Maureen are in a better mood than the last episode, but that is in Trump-adjusted terms. Also, both of them have a lot of mosquito bites.

But what HAS been happening? The Supreme Court lost a justice, and the nominee is a spendy weirdo. Scott Pruitt, America's griftiest grifter, has been forced to leave office for the dumbest reason possible. Stormy Daniels is busted by the Boob Detectives on shady boob charges. Trump has a bad meet cute with NATO. And Maureen has another MONEYMAKER idea that cannot fail.

The woods of Sayswhovia are lovely, dark, and deep. Follow us. Take our hand. Come into the trees. It's better in here. You'll never want to leave.

SHOW NOTES:

Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!
Subscribe to Dan's new podcast, The Hitch
Order HOW I RESIST now!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE DAY OF THE JACKET

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 27 Jun 2018 05:08:00 +0000

Yodelheeehoooo! Put on your hat because it's time for another trip up Bullshit Mountain with your pals Maureen and Dan. Both Maureen and Dan have done good Life Things in the last two weeks, but news gotta new and it continues to break headlines and spirits. Maureen is now married. Dan is cruising around America in a sweet airstream trailer. Trump is ripping families apart.

While this episode was being recorded, news of the Muslim Ban broke in, so there is real time reaction. How do we do good things while bad things keep happening? This is a topic we keep coming back to.

But there is wedding talk as well. Did Sam and Carter show up to grab Maureen before she could wed? Can Dan outrun current events by dragging his house behind a car? And what role did Blue Apron play in the events of the last week?

Oh, and Melania's jacket. Yeah. Melania's jacket.

Grab a buddy, Sayswhovians. We're starting the climb.

SHOW NOTES:

Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!
Buy candles from Dan at omfg.church
Order HOW I RESIST now!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

BRIDE OF SAYS WHO with Peter Sagal

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 13 Jun 2018 05:04:00 +0000

DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG! It's WEDDING TIME at Says Who! Maureen is getting married and everything is fine. She has everything ready to go, nothing weird is happening in the world, and...

Well, no. It's not exactly like that. But she is getting married. And so is guest Peter Sagal of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! Peter drops in to talk about hoping, coping, and making the news funny when everything is a raging garbage fire. Oh, and weddings! Peter is getting married first, so he wins. There's some real talk about depression and anxiety, but also the joy that is still everywhere. No really, it is!

Also, Maureen's boyfriends plot to kidnap her at the altar! Will Sam and Carter crash the wedding? Who will be the Bride of Says Who?

While all of this is going on, Trump has a summit with North Korea. Did you know you can bring your own toilet to a summit? You totally can! Can! Get it? CAN.

Meanwhile, Dan, who is not getting married, is getting ready to go on a SUMMER ROAD TRIP all over America. Is he trying to escape? How far will be get? What will he eat? These are all things Maureen wants to know. It makes Dan nervous. Or maybe Dan is nervous because Trump is meeting alone with Kim Jong Un. It's hard to say what makes Dan nervous anymore.

This week's Says Who is the romcom you have waited for. Get your popcorn and tissues, and bring your toilet, if you want.

SHOW NOTES:

Listen to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me every week on your NPR member station, or subscribe to the podcast!
Peter is good at Twitter, and always there so join him there as well.
Buy candles from Dan at omfg.church
Order HOW I RESIST now!
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE DAYS OF OUR LIES

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 30 May 2018 05:05:00 +0000

Summer summer summer! It’s here! Time for sand, sun, fun, and cooking s’mores on the dying embers of democracy and our sanity!

Dan and Maureen convene once again to take stock of what is happening to all of our minds. Why, for example, is our President pointing at an Invisible Melania? How do we respond when we’re straight-up told that Spygate is made up? Whither the bag o’phones?

Nothing makes sense. Which is why it’s time to choose our own summer adventure. Dan tells a story about wrestling. Maureen also tells a story about wrestling, then she talks of her loves: Carter Page and Sam Numberg. Who will be her summer romance? Can you mail a cucumber? Seriously, where is Melania? Can’t you see her? She’s right there, in the window! Look closely!

Summer is here, Says Whovia. This time, we will be ready.

SHOW NOTES:

Buy candles from Dan at omfg.church
Order HOW I RESIST now!
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FIFTY SHADES OF SAY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 16 May 2018 05:04:00 +0000

It was never supposed to be this way. Says Who, the little eight-episode podcast, is now on its 50th EPISODE! FIFTY!

Dan has returned from Disney and has tales of Dole Whip and the Haunted Mansion. Maureen did not go to Disney and has tales of being at home watching the news, which mostly means watching Rudy Giuliani do whatever it is Rudy Giuliani does.

What have we learned over the course of 50 Says Whos? How are we coping? What would we tell our past selves? And how can we get a sponsor?

All of these things and MORE on THE BIG 5-0!

SHOW NOTES:

Buy candles from Dan at omfg.church
Order HOW I RESIST now!
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 2 May 2018 05:08:00 +0000

Hey hey hey! It's the cast from the past! This week, Dan is at DisneyWorld and Maureen is not. Because Dan is at the Happiest Place on Earth, this podcast was recorded early. So you know things we don't! No spoilers!

This episode, we answer your questions. How did we know Michael Cohen would be such a star? How do you get through the day when things get hard? Will Maureen's wedding be broadcast on PBS? What do we do first at DisneyWorld? So many questions. We'll tell you our answers, and you can tell us how things are going.

Last one to the Haunted Mansion has to be Trump's new lawyer!

Buy candles from Dan at omfg.church
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

TAINT GOOD

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 05:25:00 +0000

Says Whovians, we've been waiting for this moment for all our lives. Mr "Says Who" himself, Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, burst into the news this week. And it wasn't just a one-and-done kinda thing. Nope, Maureen's original boyfriend came with all the plot twists and surprise reveals of a good mystery novel. Dan can barely even speak, Maureen's love is rekindled, and they both dig down deep to sort out the ups and downs of one of the most upside-down weeks yet. Good gravy.

But then. Then they get to the "Taint Team" and the metaphor for exactly this moment in history that you never knew you wanted, and probably still don't.

We're sorry. We're so sorry.

All that, plus Says Whosterpiece theater returns, Comey admits that the pee tape may be a thing, Paul Ryan is a quitter, and so much more.

Can you feel it coming in the air tonight? Oh lord.

Show Notes

If you haven't yet read "Michael Cohen and the End Stage of the Trump Presidency" yet, you absolutely should.
Listen to the Trump, Inc. Podcast. They know a lot about Trump and his business associates.
This week's Sayswhosterpiece Theater was based on the article "A Congressman's Profanity Laced Tirade in a Safeway Grocery Store"
Buy candles from Dan at omfg.church
See Maureen at the LA Times Festival of Books on Saturday at 2pm

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WORKIN FOR A LIVIN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 Apr 2018 05:07:00 +0000

Are you looking for work? Have you considered the White House? They've got some openings and don't seem to check qualifications, so why not. Maureen and Dan earn their podcast living today by looking at the recent upheaval at the White House and discuss the weird jobs that they've had that maybe make them just as qualified as the rest of these jokers. I mean, it couldn't be worse than working in a haunted restaurant right?

Plus, Maureen and Dan take it to the maxx by talking about the March for Our Lives and Stormy Daniels, the two stories that have managed to break through the chaos tornado that is the White House AND the two stories that have Trump scared enough to actually show Twitter discipline. How is it possible? Maureen and Dan are on the case.

All this plus for some reason Maureen is in Philadelphia and a Raccoon comes a'callin.

Says Who: We're workin the late shift... of America.

SHOW NOTES

Trying to follow the ins and outs of the recent White House shakeups? The Washington Post has you covered.
Stormy Daniels is amazing on Twitter (though, you know, can get a little racy).
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GOOD GRAVY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 21 Mar 2018 05:07:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are sleepy. Very sleepy. They would like a nap. There has been too much 2018 this week. But in SaysWhovia, we sleep in 2019, at Disneyworld.

What have we learned in the last two weeks? We learned that Rex Tillerson uses a toilet, that Trump's lawyers are the weirdest people in the world, that Russia is acting like a serial killer in a movie, that you don't fire a guy the day before he retires, and you never play games with Stormy Daniels. Also, Dan has a new catchphrase! And we have a new sponsor!

Says Who: we'll stay awake with you.

SHOW NOTES

Learn more about our new sponsor
Maureen's book on the Today show for some reason?
March 24 join the March for Our Lives
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

GET THEE TO SAM NUNBERGERY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 7 Mar 2018 06:04:00 +0000

What light is this? What strange sparks? Why, it is a train of goons! Goons!

This week, Dan and Maureen gaze in wonder and awe at the universe of 2018. This two week period began with Marco Rubio getting nailed in his big, dumb face at the CNN town hall and it ended with a beautiful trail of sparks as one of the brightest lights in the sky flew past. Yes. Sam Nunberg, a.k.a. Mr. Maureen Johnson, entered our lives. We need to grab this comet by the tail and ride.

Did other things happen? Sure they did. But it's Sam Nunberg we will always remember. Sam Nunberg does not want to give all of his emails since November 1 2015 to the Special Prosecutor and he will tell you so in this Says Whosterpiece Theater re-enactment. Of the many Trump goons, this one is special. Let Sam Nunberg into your heart. Let him in. Sam would like to come in. Sam will go anywhere and say anything. Come fall in love with Sam.

Oh yeah, and everyone else quit. But whatever. SAM NUNBERG!

SHOW NOTES

Don't believe our reenactment was real? Watch the whole clip from NBC.
March 24 join the March for Our Lives
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A CASE OF THE WHOOPSIES IN THE PANTSIES with Ashley Feinberg

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 21 Feb 2018 06:35:00 +0000

There's a lot to wrestle with these last couple weeks. There's the awful, heartbreaking news that came out of Parkland Florida. There's the surprise indictments by Robert Mueller. There's the continued awful sh*tposting from Trump in Florida. And then there's a news report that Maureen was perhaps born for: That the government is proposing creating a "Blue Apron-type program" to replace food stamps. How terrible an idea is that? Let Maureen take you there (if Dan will let her).

In addition to struggling with the news, Dan and Maureen are joined by Ashley Feinberg, a reporter who has taken reading the Trump family social media accounts to a whole 'nother level. Who's dissing who through passive-aggressively forgetting their birthday? Just which Trump kid is the dumbest? Just what is going on with Trump's hair? We ask a literal, actual expert. Really!

Hold on to something because it gets a little bumpy. It's the new Says Who!

SHOW NOTES

Ashley Feinberg is a is a Senior Reporter at HuffPost based in New York. Previously, she was on Gizmodo Media Group’s investigative team, and before that she was at Gawker.
How Ashley Discovered James Comey's secret Twitter
Ashley's investigation into Donald Trump's weave.
March 24 join the March for Our Lives
Get your Pee Tape and Robert Mueller prayer candles and stickers! and you never knew you wanted a Pee Tape Prayer Candle until right now. So go back the project!
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

IN MEMO-RIAM with Spencer Ackerman

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 7 Feb 2018 07:09:00 +0000

Maureen and Dan have had a busy couple of weeks, not because they've been keeping up with the news--the memo stuff has admittedly been pretty confusing--but because they've been making things. Maureen has a book out and Dan just launched a Kickstarter and they spend some time talking about how hard it is to actually make things right now with the whole world amped up to 11. Come for the conversation about creation, stay for the dog completely losing her sh*t in the middle of it.

Now about that memo: Maureen and Dan weren't kidding about being confused, so they recruited an expert in national security and secret courts to explain it to them. Spencer Ackerman from the Daily Beast joins the podcast to help us understand what The Memo means, where things stand right now, and maybe to freak Dan out a little about the potential collapse of civilization. But it's fine, probably.

Take a memo because there's a lot, it's the new Says Who!

SHOW NOTES

Spencer Ackerman is a senior national security correspondent for The Daily Beast. The former U.S. national security editor for the Guardian, Ackerman was part of the Pulitzer Prize-winning team reporting on Edward Snowden's surveillance revelations. No really, that's our guest!
Dan Launched a Kickstarter and you never knew you wanted a Pee Tape Prayer Candle until right now. So go back the project!
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. Go buy it, you!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

PAGING DOCTOR CHILL M.D.

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 24 Jan 2018 06:02:00 +0000

Maureen has been away on a tour for her new book and hasn't been keeping up with events. What has been going on? Dan has been keeping up with events from hospital waiting rooms and from his basement in Chicago and he is...not handling it well. It's been the most Trumpy two weeks of all time.

What's on the menu? Shithole countries, fake photo ops, 22 minutes of trying to mute a call, a missile warning in Hawaii, MLK day spent on the golf course, Starburstgate, a cognitive test, a question of height, the Fake News Awards, the Women's March, the government shutdown...

...oh, and Stormy Daniels. So much Stormy Daniels.

This episode may be hazardous to your health. Luckily, the doctor is in. Take a seat. Doctor Chill will see you shortly.

SHOW NOTES

Don't read this
Starburstgate
Take the President's Cognitive Challenge!.
Maureen's book Truly Devious is on sale everywhere. You can get it if you want. But whatever.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SAYS WHO BOOK CLUB with Eve Peyser

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 10 Jan 2018 06:04:00 +0000

Greetings book lovers! Grab a bag of Big Macs and Fillets o Fish and join us over here in the book nook because things get pretty literary this week. First off Maureen has a NEW BOOK and you should pick it up. But Maureen's not the only author with a new book in stores, nope. Michael Wolff's Trump tell-allish Fire and Fury came out this week and Maureen and Dan forced themselves through it so that you don't have to. Really. You don't have to.

Not the hoity-toity literary type? Don't worry because this episode we're also joined by Vice politics reporter Eve Peyser who lived like Donald Trump for a day: 12 diet cokes, a pile of Big Macs, golf, and angry tweeting. We sit down to find out what she learned (and how she lived).

So grab a burger and a book and join us for the Says Who Book Club.

SHOW NOTES

Eve Peyser is brilliant and you should follower her on Twitter.
Read Eve's article I Lived Like Donald Trump for a Day and it Almost Killed Me
Do we really have to tell you where to get Fire and Fury?
Hey you can make yourself ill by reading the first chapter here
Buy a better book from Maureen: Truly Devious comes out January 16!
Here are Maureen's tour dates for Seattle on the 16th, Tempe on the 17th, and Denver-ish on the 18th.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Potty Magnet New Years

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 27 Dec 2017 08:01:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen come together by the fire at the end of December to ring out the old year and welcome the new (DEAR GOD YES PLEASE THE NEW). They show 2017 the door with much less patience than Maureen explaining the pee tape to her mother while at the bank, which, yes, happened. This because of a truck with a window decal that decidedly did not read "potty magnet".

But this episode isn't just about shedding the curse of 2017, it's also about talking about what's been learned and how it's changed the way we're thinking about 2018. Sayswhovians, we're not gonna lie: things get earnest. But why shouldn't they: we made it through 2017 and we've gotta live 2018 to the maxx.

But it's not all days of future past, Trump is now officially in the Disney Hall of Presidents--perhaps the most Sayswhovian of news updates--and though Dan and Maureen have long dreaded the day that robot was turned on, it turns out that the Imagineers at Disney had something wonderful in store! They were not going down without a fight. They inspire us to go into 2018 TO THE MAXX.

Oh and also: someone's getting married (hint: it's not the Trump robot)!

So come sit with us and let's tell each other wonderful tales of the holiday season, SaysWhovians!

GOODBYE 2017 YOU F*CKER.

SHOW NOTES:

Call us about your plans to live 2018 TO THE MAXX at (312) 715-7057
Sing the song of SaysWhoVille!
Preorder Maureen's new book, Truly Devious and support some good indie bookstores.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A SAYS WHO HOLIDAY GIFT: The 12 Days of Trumpmas

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Tue, 19 Dec 2017 04:00:00 +0000

The official Says Who Holiday single has dropped. It's the 12 Days of Trumpmas, remixed and ready for your ears. Once in, it's never coming out.

Your jolly old elves: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE BLUE APRON HOLIDAY SPECIAL* with Parker Molloy

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 13 Dec 2017 06:30:00 +0000

HO HO HOLLLLLY SHIT! We've almost made it through 2017, Sayswhovians! It's time for HOLIDAY CHEER! Let us sing songs, and feast, and count our blessings. Dan and Maureen are ready. Sort of. Maureen has flooded her apartment and Dan has a fever. But they're still ready to jingle all the way to the Alabama special election results! Or something! Look, there is singing.

Just when you think it couldn't get more merry, Parker Molloy comes down the chimney to spread GOOD CHEER. We talk coping and rabbit poop. And, once again, our friends at Blue Apron bring us the Says Who Food Corner. Can you drink twelve Diet Cokes a day and live? Mmmmaybe.

Says Who: we're like food in a box for your ears.

* this episode not actually affiliated with Blue Apron

SHOW NOTES:

Call us about your plans to live 2018 TO THE MAXX at (312) 715-7057
Follow Parker Molloy
Here's Parker's work at Upworthy
Preorder Maureen's new book, Truly Devious and support some good indie bookstores.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

KATAMARI DEMOCRACY

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 29 Nov 2017 07:22:00 +0000

It's been a couple weeks since the last full-politics episode of Says Who and... a lot has happened. Life stuff, Trump stuff, good stuff, bad stuff--just lots and lots of stuff.

So this episode, Dan and Maureen just roll it all up into a ball that keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. How did Dan's Thanksgiving tacos turn out? It's in the ball! What was Maureen's sex-ed class like in high school? It's in the ball! Is Eric Trump the stupidest of all the adult Trump children? It's in the ball! Which princesses are official Disney Princesses? It's in the ball!

Royal wedding? Ball!

Ceramic Christmas towns? Ball!

Neti pots? Ball!

What about this piece of sh*t new tax plan? You know where it is.

Grab some sturdy headphones because you're getting rolled up too.

Says Who: it's a big ball... OF EVERYTHING.

SHOW NOTES:

Preorder Maureen's new book, Truly Devious and support some good indie bookstores.
And, while you're at it, order the collection Let It Snow, which is both seasonally appropriate AND mentioned in this episode.
Stardew Valley is the best game even if fishing totally sucks.
Lemax's Spooky Town is the ceramic village we deserve.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THANKSGIVING STARDEWCAST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 22 Nov 2017 06:02:00 +0000

It's THANKSGIVING, Saywhovians! It's a special episode just for the holiday, and it contains NO TRUMP. Dan and Maureen talk food and holiday tradition for a bit, and then they are rejoined by Helen Rosner to take a trip to Stardew Valley.

What's Stardew Valley? Only the best, most peaceful video game. Is it even a video game? It is actually a way to discover who we really are? If you don't know it, then you're about to find out about it. And if you do know it, then you are about to go deep. Can you make wine out of mayonnaise? What's the village secret? Who will Dan marry? Will Helen become ruler of all of Stardew? And why is Maureen just carrying a drum machine around on her head?

Leave that awkward political discussion at the table. There's no need to listen to why your uncle thinks Trump just needs a chance to make America great again. You're going to Stardew with us.

Eat a cranberries?

SHOW NOTES:

Get yourself to STARDEW VALLEY

Join SAYSWHOVIANS UNITE on Facebook!

Make Thanksgiving Tacos with Dan!

Preorder Maureen's new book and support independent booksellers when you do!!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE KETCHUP CONNECTION with Helen Rosner

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 06:02:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are not playing around anymore. The yarn is all around the room and there are pins all over. The crazy wall is showing a pattern, and that pattern is based on ketchup. Food writer and all around amazing person Helen Rosner is back to help break the case. What does it all mean? Does Trump eat fried mushrooms? What about ranch dressing? WHY ALL THE BEEF? We are THISCLOSE to cracking this wide open.

Oh, and ELECTION DAY! We won! We have hope again! We are full of good news! Also, Dan has built a Trump pooping app. Maureen is back on the sponsorship trail.

It's all about the food, Sayswhovians. Pull up a chair. This podcast is for eating.

SHOW NOTES:

TRUMP POOP WATCH!

Join SAYSWHOVIANS UNITE on Facebook!

Mr. Trump Makes a Burger

Study this photo with us.

Get yourself a bucket.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Our show opening organ music was contributed by Josh Kantor

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

INDICTMENT DAY EARLYCAST!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 01:15:00 +0000

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy. Today was such an amazing day that Dan and Maureen sat down to record early. Copetober had one more surprise in store, and it was a big one. It was the Great Pumpkin, Saywhovians! And Dan and Maureen are here for it. In fact, the import of this day may have evicted them from the remains of their minds. What is this warm and glowing feeling? Is it HOPE?

Yes, it is INDICTMENT DAY!!

Manafort woke up bright and early this morning and drive himself over to the FBI, a low level stooge may have flipped, and Trump of course took it all really well. We are here for IT and for YOU and we break it all down as best we can.

There are other things, too, like pooping and pie and Stardew Valley. There is a wonderland of audio goodness ahead. Why can't Maureen fish? Why does Dan hate cherries? Who is best at irrigation? Do rice and two pieces of cherry pie make a meal? Blue Apron?

Who cares? IT'S INDICTMENT DAY!

SHOW NOTES:

Rice and two pieces of cherry pie

Stardew Valley

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

PUMPKIN SPICER

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Oct 2017 05:02:00 +0000

So, this year, huh? RIGHT????

Dan and Maureen share some personal info, and then they dive right into a crisp pile of Copetober leaves. Maureen has a new idea for a service. Dan likes boxes. Dan likes boxes so much more than you will ever know. We get a new Says Who recipe, and Maureen delivers another story about her aunt who had the suicidal bird. Dan learns what PSL stands for.

YOUR questions are answered. Need a funny book? A good pie? How about a mental image that will never, ever go away? It's all right here.

So get yourself a Pumpkin Spice whatever, put on your flannel, and sit next to us here on this hay bale and listen to the stories of Says Who by this fire. Don't ask us about the fire.

PS: steal their phones

SHOW NOTES:

Doughnut salad

PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE!

Here's a book to put you in a good mood!

Or a better book that you can preorder and then have something to look forward to in the future!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo

Our show opening organ music was contributed by Josh Kantor

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

COPETOBER!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 4 Oct 2017 05:03:00 +0000

Okay. So. Even by 2017 standards, the last two weeks have been a bit much. So Dan and Maureen are stepping back and devoting an entire episode to COPING and YOUR QUESTIONS. First, Dan and Maureen take a quick trip to Puerto Rico with the President. Maureen talks about the potato chip van. Dan remembers the World's Finest chocolate bar. You ask: how do you get things done in 2017? How do you cope with right-wing co-workers? Should there be more debates? Is the Disney Dining Pass worth it? And is there an official Says Who cocktail?

We get to it all. The fall is upon us, Says Whovians. We have to take care of each other.

Pull up a pumpkin. It's Says Who time!

SHOW NOTES:

Pub for PR!

Bid on an hour of BAD LIFE COACHING from Maureen!

Get yourself a $30 word processor!

To make Dan's Grey Stuff pie, simply follow this recipe for The Grey Stuff, but scoop it into an oreo cookie pie crust. Try the grey stuff, It's DELICIOUS.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

EAT THE NEWS with Hayes Brown

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 20 Sep 2017 00:05:00 +0000

Oh no. Trump is outside Maureen's house. Well, he's too close at least. He's at the U.N., and that is not good. It is really not good. Luckily, Hayes Brown from Buzzfeed comes by to process the news so you don't have to! We talk about world affairs, the importance of the free press in modern society, and the X-Men.

Also, Trump's lawyers are dumb. Why are they so dumb? And Trump called the leader of North Korea Rocket Man. Why is everything so dumb? Is it dumb on purpose? Is it to make US feel dumb? We talk about what this uncertainty does to our minds and our attention spans.

Oh, and we talk about how Elton John is awesome. Get on our rocket, Sayswhovians. We're going to the moon.

SHOW NOTES:

Read some of Hayes Brown's work at Buzzfeed

Follow Hayes on Twitter

Watch Walnut Grove explode

Listen to "Rocket Man" as performed on This American Life

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SAYS WHO ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL with Ana Marie Cox

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 00:39:00 +0000

HOOOLLLLY SMOKES. One year ago, two confused people named Dan and Maureen climbed into a basement/a closet and started talking into microphones about the 2016 Election. They thought they would make a show for eight weeks, that they would talk to some smart people, and that the whole mess would end and we'd all laugh about it someday.

HA HA HA WHO'S LAUGHING NOW.

To celebrate this occasion, we've brought back Says Who's very first guest, Ana Marie Cox, to reflect on the year we've had. We talk heroes, healing, and lessons learned.

Oh, and the Ted Cruz porn thing. We talk about that a lot. In depth.

Blow out the candles, Sayswhovians! We're a year old! It just FEELS like a hundred years!

SHOW NOTES:

With Friends Like These with Ana Marie Cox

Revisit Episode One... if you dare

Fun with Ted Cruz

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SAYS WHO BACK TO SCHOOL WHOTACTULAR with Laura Moser

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 6 Sep 2017 02:04:00 +0000

Well, we've had a nice, quiet summer during which nothing happened. It was all good times and cookouts and swimming in the old swimming hole and also...no, everything happened, that's right. Everything happened. Our mistake. Like that one day the other week when literally everything happened at once? Remember that? Of course you do.

But it's back to school time! Maureen is excited about school supplies! Dan is not! Dan copes by driving Route 66. Maureen will clean your computer and she saw pizza falling from a tree. These are magical times we live in. Our hosts are not well but they are SURVIVING!

Then we talk to Laura Moser--founder of Daily Action and candidate for Congress from Texas's 7th District,, which is located in Houston. We talk to Laura about what's going on on the ground in Houston, and about how she made her move into activism and then running for office in the wake of Election Day 2016. Can we help turn Laura's corner of Texas blue? Like Blue Apron blue? Let's try!

ALSO! We will be back next week for the ONE YEAR COPVERSARY PARTY! It's a word.

Class is in session, Sayswhovians.

SHOW NOTES:

Laura Moser for Congress

Donate to the Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund

Follow Laura

Join Daily Action! You can make change in one small action a day!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 23 Aug 2017 00:57:00 +0000

It's an end of summer Says Who, and Dan and Maureen are coasting it out before the fall comes and we all go back to school. We talk about swimming pools! Doughnuts! DisneyWorld! Nazis!

Oh yeah. Nazis. How the hell did we all end up talking about Nazis--is something we all ended up asking ourselves. And the Confederacy. Things we thought, you know, we'd worked out.

Maureen explains how she threw herself down a Facebook hole into a bad conversation, because the weird, the bad, the difficult...these things can't be avoided. There's no looking away and pretending politeness. This Says Who is about things that are hard to say--from tough topics to the word "lingerie." Also, we get an official Says Who doughnut. And then we tell you the future.

Come on in for one last summer swim in the Says Who pool! Winter is coming.

SHOW NOTES:

The Facebook meme that broke Maureen.

Was the Civil War about slavery? Yes.

Was the Civil War about slavery? Yes, again.

But obviously you can just read and learn about the Civil War just about anywhere.

How to argue on Facebook

Meet the new official doughnut of Says Who.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

VACATION NATION!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Thu, 10 Aug 2017 05:30:00 +0000

Welcome to the Says Who Vacation Party! Get your swimsuit! Put on your sunglasses! It's VACATION TIME! The President is off for his 17 day golf trip, which are different from the two, three, and four day golf trips he normally takes. So we all get the month off! Right?!?!

An amazing amount has happened in the last two weeks: Healthcare was saved. The Mooch was lost. But can you really lose a Mooch? A Mooch that gave us so much, like the mental image of Steve Bannon, cksk*r? Dan cannot let this image go. It plays in his mind as he swims. Meanwhile, Maureen has cracked her head on an English wall and snuck up an Italian mountain, where she has a mysterious meeting with a Count. Why not?

It's Summer 2017 and it's time to live our best lives. If it doesn't bring you joy, it's time to get it gone.

Put us in your ears. We'll meet you on the golf course.

SHOW NOTES:

This week in politics, from Golf.com

Mooch calls the New Yorker

Mr. Mooch's Wild Week, in the words of those who were there.

Trump gets folders of compliments two times a day.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Our organ music was performed by Josh Kantor

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SPICEY AND THE MOOCH with Jonny Sun

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 26 Jul 2017 05:17:00 +0000

On a dark day in American politics, we go FULL BORE POSITIVE with a friendly alien named Jonny Sun.

Dan has an idea for a sitcom. Maureen talks about puppets and wall cheese. There's a man with rocks in his head. All of this, improbably, has to do with the news of the last two weeks, somehow.

Bonus: PODCAST DANCING! You can see it, but it's happening. It's all happening. None of this is brought to you by Blue Apron, which won't even come up.

Says Who: because we all need a buddy comedy right about now.

SHOW NOTES:

Meet Jonny!

And get his book!

"I have rocks in my head."

Mr. Trump's Strange, Strange Interview.

The announcement for HOW I RESIST!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE PROFESSOR IS IN with Roman Mars and Elizabeth Joh

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 12 Jul 2017 05:05:00 +0000

It hasn't been an easy two weeks. Dan has been going through some serious stuff, which means he has been away from the news. Maureen has been keeping up, but she was also attacked by a fish, a cough, and a dog leash. Both try to parse the many feelings and sensations this news cycle brings about.

To help bring clarity and actual INFORMATION, Radiotopia's Roman Mars and Constitutional law professor Elizabeth Joh come by to explain things like collision, obstruction of justice, the 25th Amendment, and lupus. (That last one, they do not explain, actually. But it comes up.)

Also, there's an exciting new SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITY. Is Blue Apron in for some competition?

Class is in session, SaysWhovians. Take a seat.

SHOW NOTES:

Listen to What Trump Can Teach Us About Con Law with Roman Mars and Elizabeth Joh

The Preamble from Schoolhouse Rock.

Here's the piece in which details NASA's denial that it has a child slave colony on Mars.

Donald Trump is unclear whether wrestling is real

Don't get this.

All the times it wasn't Lupis.

See Maureen live on stage with Mark and Hal at the Philadelphia Podcast Festival on July 21!

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 28 Jun 2017 05:15:00 +0000

It's time for an old-fashioned dose of your friends Dan and Maureen losing their minds in real time! Dan has had a legitimately terrible few weeks, so its just no guests, mics on, and GO.

It's time to talk coping, healthcare, fake Time Magazine covers, rubbing your school bus driver's shoulders as you careen down a hill, the latest scandals at Disney's Hall of Presidents (complete with EXCLUSIVE SAYS WHO SOURCES)--you know all the stuff you'd expect in this, the darkest timeline.

Plus, Maureen thinks up a new revenue stream because Blue Apron never called, Dan has trouble with his Alexa, and WHAT IS LURKING IN MITCH MCCONNELL'S CHIMNEY???

It's just you, the moon, and Says Who. We're all in this together.

SHOW NOTES:

Read an excerpt from Truly Devious, Maureen's new book, coming January 16, 2018

See Maureen live on stage with Mark and Hal at the Philadelphia Podcast Festival on July 21!

Trump's watch strap situation is truly horrific

Dat ass

Disney denies reports of trouble at the Hall of Presidents. Our sources say otherwise!

Robot Obama has something inspiring to tell you

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SAYS WHO DISNEY SPECTACULAR with Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 14 Jun 2017 03:26:00 +0000

It's been a long two weeks and Dan is done. It's all just gotten to be too much. Maureen is ready to talk about Comey and sentient banjo Jeff Sessions but Dan cannot do it any more. How can we save Dan Sinker before he is sunk? Maureen has an idea: A FULL-ON DISNEY SPECTACULAR with podcast superstars (and Disney superfans) Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi!

We've long promised that when Trump leaves office--by resignation, impeachment, massive constipation from too much beef--we are off to Disney World. Well today we decide that a wish is a dream your heart makes and so we have to FOLLOW OUR DREAMS, Sayswhovians. Even if it takes us to a theme park in central Florida.

What happens if you drop in the Tower of Terror 35 times a day for a month--does it better prepare you for life under Trump? What's going on inside the Hall of Presidents? If Trump went to Epcot's World Showcase, would he think it was real? And how could we trap him there? Is Trump's plane powered by his butt? How has Maureen's personality been influenced by a haunted painting? Will Blue Apron become a sponsor? When Trump leaves offices, what's the first ride YOU ride?

This Says Who only happens if you truly believe. Clap! Clap! No, seriously. CLAP.

SHOW NOTES:

Special guests Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi of We Got This!

See Maureen live on stage with Mark and Hal at the Philadelphia Podcast Festival on July 21!

Walt Disney World is a theme park located in greater Orlando Florida.

The nuns execution painting Maureen describes in this episode? It is so real.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S PRESIDENTIAL VACATION with Jeff Larson, Surya Mattu, and Julia Angwin

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 31 May 2017 06:22:00 +0000

Summer arrives at Says Who and Maureen and Dan dream of bobbing in the dappled sunshine off the Florida coast.

But they're not the only ones setting their sights on a little summertime outing. The president went off to see the world and, thanks to world leaders accommodating his beefy dietary needs, possibly spent 10 days without pooping. But he did get to have a friendly visit with the Pope, touch a glow orb, see Saudi Arabian country superstar Toby Keith (wait, that's not right), and have his tiny hands crushed a few dozen times in handshake wars. Plus, we all got a vacation from his Twitter account for a week or so. Felt great, didn't it?

In addition, this episode really does step on to a boat and moors it right outside Mar a Lago when Jeff Larson, Surya Mattu, and Julia Angwin of ProPublica and Gizmodo join to discuss their watery investigation into the Trump Organization's cyber security. This interview is even more delightful than that sounds.

So ahoy there matey, it's time to walk the plank.

SHOW NOTES:

Go read the article we discussed in our interview spot: Any Half-Decent Hacker Could Break Into Mar-a-Lago it is amazing.
We were joined today by Jeff Larson, Surya Mattu, and Julia Angwin. They are all great.
Pay for journalism.
The article where Trump talks about Melania's amazing imagination by making meat sauce for spaghetti is Golf, Business, and Meatloaf

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A HEDGE SALAD IS A SALAD with Clara Jeffery

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 17 May 2017 07:29:00 +0000

Well that escalated quickly.

Maureen and Dan play catch up with the events surrounding the sudden firing of FBI Director James Comey. Sure, he didn't do well by Clinton's emails, but all indications are he was leading pretty deep investigations into all this Trump Russia stuff.

Aaand, now he's not. That's convenient.

Oh, and the Russia stuff? Now they're in the Oval Office too. Sure, why not.

We also learn about Trump's dessert preferences, what he likes on his salad (surprisingly, not Russian Dressing), and Maureen begins to build a Stranger Things-inspired Spicer Light Wall to get readings from the Sean Spicer stuck in the upside down.

There's a lot of smoke, there's a lot of fire, there's a lot of truth and a lot of fiction too. To help them wrap their heads around it all, Maureen and Dan are joined by Mother Jones' Editor in Chief Clara Jeffery as well.

SHOW NOTES:

Clara Jeffery is the Editor-in-Chief of Mother Jones, whose coverage of Trump, Russia, and the repercussions of the election has been phenomenal. Support journalism!
The pecan pie Dan references is from the Carmeilla Grill in New Orleans. Go. You will not be disappointed.
The Watergate book Maureen has been listening to (after she finished All the President's Men) is [Washington Journal: Reporting Watergate and Richard Nixon's Downfall](Washington Journal: Reporting Watergate and Richard Nixon's Downfall ) by Elizabeth Drew.
The organ music you hear on this (and other) episodes is performed by Josh Kantor, who in addition to being the official organist of Says Who moonlights as the official organist of the Boston Red Sox. You can hear him play at every home game this year.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A NEW SALAD IN TOWN with Tarini Parti

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 3 May 2017 06:10:00 +0000

Happy 100 days of Trump! And what a hundred days they have been, full of...wait. Forget all that. Maureen has an important salad report. She's gone back to 1972 and brought back something green. Green and fluffy.

But it's not all salad. Maureen and Dan are joined by Buzzfeed's Tarini Parti to talk about about the creeps and hustlers in orbit around Trump. How did the local bars around Mar-a-lago suddenly become a nexus of political gossip, scams, and all around strange happenings?

Back in the hundred days... why hasn't anyone looked into the Civil War? How did that happen? Didn't anyone ask Andrew Jackson? Why does Trump only sleep four hours a night? What's in the new health care bill? Does anyone even care? It's questions like this that have kept Dan from sleeping. He's been spinning tales of imaginary clowns hiding outside of his house and building programs to track Trump's plane. Maureen revisits the past again, talking of paranoid relatives and counting dirty coins in a cloud of smoke.

But there are victories too! Some villains have been defeated. The Resistance has risen. Congratulations, everyone. We've made it this far.

100 days. It's harder than we thought!

Show Notes:

Tarini Parti covers Capitol Hill and the White House for BuzzFeed News.
Read her amazing article "the House Mother and the Fraudster ".
Make a Watergate salad! It's green and fluffy!
Find out more about Watergate and All the President's Men.
We've got good things going on on the Says Who Pinterest boards

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE MEATLOAF FILES with Helen Rosner

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 19 Apr 2017 07:13:00 +0000

In two weeks, we've seen: an egg roll, the continued drip drip drip on the shady characters in the Trump-Russia story, a family feud between a white supremacist and a rich son-in-law, the ongoing shredding of rights and infrastructure, Sean Spicer coining the stomach-churning term "Holocaust centers," and the start of two armed conflicts by a man who's finally undone the child lock on the boom-boom room...oh, and a possible nuclear war with North Korea because of Twitter.

So let's talk about what Trump eats.

What?

Yes! It means more than you think. Dan and Maureen are joined by Helen Rosner from Eater. We drill deep into the strange story of food and the role it's played in the election and the aftermath. This is a President who owns restaurants, who makes foreign leaders eat in them. This is a man who remembers his chocolate cake but not what country he just bombed. The clues are everywhere, and we're putting it together. It's a whole new conspiracy wall! And wait until we get to the meatloaf.

Grab a fork! It's Says Who time!

Show Notes:

Helen Rosner is the executive editor of Eater, the national food and restaurant culture publication, and co-host of Eater's weekly interview podcast, the Eater Upsell. In 2014, she launched Eater's features department; its mix of long-form reported pieces, multimedia stories, personal essays, and special packages has brought in a slew of awards, including three James Beard Awards and two National Magazine Awards. Formerly an editor at Saveur and New York Magazine, and a founder of the short-lived but cultishly influential blog Eat Me Daily — and before all that, a book editor — her work has been published in places like Afar, the Awl, Racked, Departures, and Guernica, which published her Beard Award-winning essay "On Chicken Tenders." She tweets (too much, probably) at @hels.
Make your own Paul Ryan meatloaf!
Watch Donald Trump "make" a meatloaf! It's real weird.
Bonus: weird meatloaf sandwich.
Palate cleanser: the Eater guide to Surviving Disney World.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Organ music this week courtesy of Josh Kantor

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FINKER, FAILURE, F**KER, SPY with Ted Leo

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 5 Apr 2017 05:34:00 +0000

Dan and Maureen are back after a month of dealing with life, and the new Says Who is here! What is new? Well, they’re back with guests and a SCHEDULE! And there's certainly been a lot to catch up on.

We’ve had the first battle over health care. The President pretended to drive a big truck and golfed thirteen times. And then, Russia! Maureen attempts to create an audio flowchart of events and issues the first Says Who Crafting Challenge: make your own conspiracy wall! Dan busts in with critical info he’s been keeping from Maureen and issues the second Says Who Crafting Challenge: let’s put a billboard outside of Paul Ryan’s grocery store!

Then we turn to our guest--musician and all-round good guy Ted Leo--to talk about how he stays creative inside this awful Trump headspace. Turns out, he likes to read some really relaxing books. Then he drops a bombshell of an Action Park story that brings everything full circle and Maureen loses it a little.

Says Who is back in town--bigger and better than ever. Let’s ride the slide together while we’re all still insured. Wheeeeeee!

Show Notes:

Ted Leo has been playing music since the early 90s with a bunch of amazing bands, and has released nine records as a solo artist. He also collaborates on The Both with Aimee Mann. In addition, he just successfully Kickstarted his new record which will be out later this year. Ted does the work folks. Buy music.
Action Park, the New Jersey waterpark that Maureen and Ted talk about, boasts one of the more thorough Wikipedia entries about theme park safety you've ever seen, "Factors contributing to the park's safety record" along with the corresponding entry, "Fatalities"
Ringworm is not a worm, it is a fungus.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Minicast: INSIDE THE SAYS WHO TEST KITCHEN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Thu, 23 Mar 2017 03:09:00 +0000

We know a ton is going on right now, but some Life Stuff made it so we had to hit the pause button on new full-length episodes of Says Who for the time being. In fact, this will be the last episode of any size from Says Who for a couple more weeks.

BUT DON'T DESPAIR SAYSWHOVIANS because in this Minicast we do the one thing that you all have been asking for more than anything else: We make that theme park favorite, Dole Whip!

That's right, Dan steps into the Says Who Test Kitchen to whip up a batch of this tasty frozen treat. Plus, there's a special treat of a song by Neko Case for those that stay all the way through the end.

Grab your blender and follow along folks, It's a special Says Who Minicast!

Episode Notes:

You have asked and asked, and Dan made it live on this episode, so here's our recipe for knockoff Dole Whip.

You need:

4 cups frozen pineapple
1/2 cup coconut milk (the kind from a can)
a cup or so of pineapple juice

Open your can of coconut milk and pour the contents into a bowl. It separates in the can, so you'll be scooping & pouring and need to mix that all back into one thick wonderful substance. Once you have (it can take a while), pour it into the blender along with about 1/3 of your pineapple juice. Then add half your frozen pineapple chunks and whir it up. Scrape down the sides, add more pineapple and a little more juice, and give it another whir. Keep doing this until you've got it the consistency of soft serve. If you've made a smoothie, you added too much juice.

OMG ENJOY THIS DELICIOUS TREAT (and please Disney, don't sue us--we like you a lot).

Also at the conclusion of this episode, Dan references the song "Ragtime" by Neko Case. It is a really great song. She gave us permission to play this episode out with this beautiful song, which sure was nice of her. So thanks Neko! And hey you, listener, support artists. Buy music.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

OH SHIP!

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 8 Mar 2017 18:20:00 +0000

Ahoy! Maureen is on a boat. Specifically, she is on the Joco Cruise—a ship full of musicians, podcasters, comedians, artists, and nerds, which is happily sailing the Baja peninsula. She’s been a little out of touch, what with all the shows, games, and taco bars she has to attend. Dan is left to fill her in on what’s been happening. And what has been happening? Oh, nothing. It’s been super quiet since last Tuesday. Except for the news about Russia, Jeff Sessions, the accusations of wire tapping, the new travel ban, and the Trumpcare bill. Just those things.

In Dole Whip news, Dan has ALSO injured his finger trying to make a homemade Dole Whip. Maureen sees this as a portent. How long can the center hold? How can we take this much news? Will Maureen just remain at sea on the nerd boat and become part of a new society? Will Dan get ensnared the yarn of his crazy wall and never emerge from his basement again?

Put on your life jackets, Sayswhovians. It’s seven bells, and the ship is tilting.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

CUT AND RUN

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 1 Mar 2017 21:25:00 +0000

Dan spent last night sitting up watching Trump’s speech. Maureen spent last night in the emergency room getting her finger sewn up and missed Trump speech. How did Maureen hurt her finger? On a Dole Whip. Who had the better night? We know the answer. Maureen did. She is living the Says Who dream.

After two strange weeks in the gaslit fog of the Trump presidency, we gather once again to discuss haunted mansions, bizarre speeches, lies, deceit, ketchup on steaks, and yes, Dan’s personal favorite, Mar-a-Lago!

Who let KellyAnne put her feet on the sofa? Who is in charge of putting Xanax into Trump’s blue cheese dressing? And how can you make Dole Whip at home? Only some of these questions will be answered, but you will hear the tap of Maureen’s metal fingersplint, and that is pretty good.

Step into the Says Who office. The doctor will see you now.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

A WEDGE SALAD IS NOT A SALAD

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 13:15:00 +0000

[Note: there is some strong language in this podcast, as the hosts are losing their grip. If you are a teen listening to this: STAY IN SCHOOL.]

Like many of you, Dan and Maureen have lost all sense of what time means. Now that every day feels like a year, they are struggling to compress two weeks of Trump news into one podcast. This is a near-impossible task, but that won’t stop them.

We visit Dan’s Crazy Wall, where he is pointing his laser pointer to the new Mar-a-Lago and Michael Flynn wings. Maureen is in a tropical paradise and seems to have a better grip on reality, but then the subject of wedge salads comes up and things rapidly fall apart. Never before has a quarter head of lettuce lead to the complete devolution of political and social mores. (Sidenote: that salad is known as “Mr. Trump’s Wedge Salad” on the Mar-a-Lago menu.)

This episode contains strong language, but you can probably handle it. We think. Look, it was a rough two weeks. Anyway, we’ll see you at Nordstroms.

SHOW LINKS

The guide to daily events that we mentioned is What the Fuck Just Happened Today?

Trump’s handshake supercut

The Mar-a-Lago photo extravanganza shot during an actual national security crisis

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SILVER TRACK

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 1 Feb 2017 14:05:00 +0000

What the hell just happened? Is something you might be asking yourself. Because something is happening every damn hour. This is Trump's America now, where if you stop for a minute, you're catching up for a year.

Dan has returned from a week in Disneyland and LA; no longer able to escape into Dole Whip heaven, he has run directly into the fire. Maureen has been here all along and is charred all over. She never had a Dole Whip.

Together again, they drill down into coping and action and take a journey through the Upside-Down and try to turn it Rightside-Up. Along the way, Maureen channels Christoph Waltz and steals some waffles, Dan ties on his camo headband, gets on his bike, and... talks about Frozen?

There are conspiracy walls and darkened closets, Jabba gets strangled, movies get ruined, national parks rise up and airports get shut down. And together, Dan, Maureen--and you--try to make it through. Wait: Do or do not--there is no try.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

This week's organ music is from Josh Kantor

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

INAUGURATION BATTLE STATIONS

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 18 Jan 2017 16:30:00 +0000

Well, here we are. We’ve gotten on the roller coaster car, the bar has come down, and now it’s making that tick-tick-tick as it takes us up the big hill. This is happening.

Dan and Maureen discuss the glories of the inauguration entertainment lineup. Maureen is kind of obsessed with it. Dan’s is thinking about his escape to Disneyland. His hotel sells Dole Whip. IN THE HOTEL.

But most of this episode features YOU, the listeners, calling in and telling us what you plan to do for the inauguration.

The only way we’re going to get through this is together, so we’re drawing on the voices of others to lift ourselves up. Listen while you’re marching. Listen when you’re at home not watching the inauguration. The way is together.

This week the audio collage of your calls is accompanied by the song "Walking to Do" by Ted Leo. It's a great song, off the fantastic album Shake the Sheets.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

WEE THE PEOPLE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Thu, 12 Jan 2017 02:29:00 +0000

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, Sayswhovians. It's been a wild 24 hours, so your hosts went to their closets and basements to break it all down.

From last night's urine-soaked news, to Dan's first person report of Obama's final address, to this morning's hearings, and finally the day unspooling into the bizarre real-time breakdown that was the Trump press conference. We reconstruct the events, perhaps just to prove to ourselves that they really happened and that we're all in the same reality.

From a night in Chicago to a spray in Moscow: we go through it all. Come for the urine, stay for the fake news. Maybe we'll even show you what's in this stack of folders we've collected next to this podcast. You're the puppet!

Content note: contains discussion of current events of a bodily-function nature. Possibly not suitable for tiny ears, tiny hands.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

FLASHLIGHTCAST IN THE DARKNESSCAST

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Fri, 6 Jan 2017 06:34:00 +0000

Welcome to 2017! Dan has been snowed in to a Marriott Residence Inn in Colorado for two days with two children and a dog. Maureen is sitting in her dark closet in New York City with a small, retractable flashlight she refuses to turn on. Somehow, these things explain the course of the new year.

This is Weird America, and we’re ready. It’s time to push ahead and pick up tools. Which tools? Where to go? We’re ready to start asking the questions and making plans. Let’s talk about the Affordable Care Act, the right to health care, driving in Colorado, crane rides, log flumes, and small, retractable flashlights. Did we mention the flashlights? They will come up. Listen for them.

Take heart, take hope, get weird. It’s 2017. Wherever you are, you are not alone. Shine your tiny light and others will find you. Together, you will make one bigger, brighter light.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE SAYS WHO HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 01:52:00 +0000

Ho Ho Ho holiday pals! Maureen and Dan don their kerchiefs and caps, force their faces into a grin-like shape and settle down for a long winter's nap.

Sure, Santa stops by for a moment, but then he finds out about Trump. And then Dan and Maureen are left to talk about cults, conspiracy theories, and the insane, awful reality we all now find ourselves in.

But it's not all gloom: They also bring you the first annual Says Who Holiday Gift Guide--full of actually useful ideas for ways of supporting journalism, the arts, your local community, your friends, and yourself.

So have yourself a merry little whatever and enjoy the Says Who Holiday Special.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Nanocast: A WISH IS A DREAM YOUR HEART.... ah forget it

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Fri, 9 Dec 2016 22:31:00 +0000

It's an Audio Update from Dan. We have to take a couple weeks off the show so Maureen can finish your new favorite book, so Dan slides into your headphones to let you know we're alive and also to give you some Says Who Approved charities and organizations that we're supporting here in the post-election holiday season. Wish upon a star or whatever you do this holiday season and we'll see you soon!

Organizations we're helping out right now:

From Maureen:

The American Civil Liberties Union fights for your constitutional rights. They're gearing up for four years of battle, so help support them.
The Southern Poverty Law Center fights bigotry and hate in the US and wow they are going to be busy. So help them out please.

From Dan:

The Chicago Books to Women in Prison project gets books to incarcerated women who need them. They have an amazing Amazon Wish List you can buy straight from.
Young Chicago Authors works with teens to find their voice in poetry and storytelling and performance and ass kicking. Help em out.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DAWN OF THE DONALD

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 30 Nov 2016 04:13:00 +0000

Once again, Dan and Maureen set up mics and record their rough impressions of the 21 days after the election. We’ve woken up in a weird new world.

Much like people in a zombie movie, Americans are wandering around wondering what the hell is going on and trying to figure out how to make tools to fight. Life went on as Trump floated above like a demented Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon from hell.

Dan has been at breakfast buffets in Iowa. Maureen couldn’t outrun the news in Dublin. Now, they’re back and having a raw talk about mental health, self care, long-term planning, the bullshit nature of doom, and making the Excel spreadsheet of resistance.

Time to figure it out--there’s work to do. Welcome to Radio Free Says Who. We’re here to talk you through it--or at least keep you company.

Resist, friends. Resist.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE DARKEST TIMELINE

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Fri, 11 Nov 2016 03:29:00 +0000

We weren’t prepared for this episode. We mean that in every way.

We did not expect this outcome. We did not mentally prepare ourselves. We had no plan for this. Like a lot of people (we’re guessing most of you), we’ve been dealing with the emotional fallout and confusion that comes with this election result.

Without any script or any plan, we decided to record our raw reactions 36 hours after the event. There’s no cold open, no special guest, no bleeping of swear words--just two people trying to process. Dan tells a story about visiting a local library. Maureen talks about running headfirst into chaos. Mostly, we wanted to make something to make people feel less alone. We talk about building and about taking the time to process before making decisions about what’s next. For sure, the rawest episode of Says Who ever but maybe the one we’d most like people to hear.

Stay together. Reach out. Do what you need to right now.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SULLY, IT'S ME with Brian Stetler

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 2 Nov 2016 07:00:00 +0000

Dan has been in England for a week and now it’s time to come back to America and Election 2016--but first, he has a nice, quiet plane ride with no access to the news. Surely that will go well.

Like Dan’s plane, this election is coming in for a landing. How will this last week go? We asked CNN’s Brian Stelter to talk us through this final week and to discuss the role the media has played in this entire, never-ending (but maybe actually almost ending?) election. Come on, everyone. We’re landing this election on the Hudson. Hang on tight.

SPECIAL NOTE: next week, at 8pm EST, we’ll be going LIVE on election night. Follow @sayswhopodcast to get that live link and to join in. It's sure to be something.

SHOW NOTES:

Brian Stelter is the senior media correspondent for CNN Worldwide and the host of Reliable Sources, the Sunday morning media program on CNN/U.S.

As CNN’s senior media correspondent, Stelter reports on trends, personalities, and companies across the media spectrum, from news to entertainment. He appears regularly on CNN/U.S., CNN International, CNN.com, CNNMoney.com, and across CNN’s vast mobile and social landscape. Stelter started at CNN in November 2013. He was previously a media reporter for The New York Times.

The intro to this episode had a number of different voices involved:

The captain was played by Simon Cole. Simon is a London-based actor and voiceover artist. Find out how to have Simon narrate your audiobook at simoncole.co.uk.
The flight attendant was played by Julie Polk. Julie is the co-founder of Rasa Advising, which teaches storytelling to public defenders and other legal advocates, and host of Story Social, a monthly story show at QED Astoria.
The first class passenger was played by Jason Keeley. Jason is a game designer and improviser from Seattle.

Resources for teens and others looking to help in the final days of this election:

Volunteer for the Hillary Clinton campaign directly.
The Harry Potter Alliance is an organization that promotes social equality. Their Wizard Rock the vote program offers several ways for you to get involved locally and nationally.
Rock the Vote is one of the leading organizations for getting young people involved in the election process.
Emily’s List is an orgnaization that works to elect pro-choice Democrat women.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo. He goes on tour next week check the dates now.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth. We :heart: Darth.

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

DONALD DARKO with Olivia Nuzzi

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 26 Oct 2016 05:15:00 +0000

Subscribe on iTunes here. We are also available on most podcatching platforms, so you can listen to us however and wherever you like!

It’s Halloween! Welcome to this SPOOKY episode of Says Who. Dan is just trying to get to the basement to record, but reality isn’t cooperating. Maureen has finally broken into her many spectral forms. And who keeps calling on the phone?

Then the real chills and thrills come: Olivia Nuzzi of the Daily Beast is here to talk about her fifteen months covering Donald Trump, including her trips into Trump Tower.

You’ll need to sleep with the lights on after this one, presuming you sleep at all. Ring, ring.

Olivia Nuzzi is a writer and journalist who covers politics for The Daily Beast. You can find her on Twitter here, and read her contributions to the Daily Beast here.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

This week's organ music was performed by Josh Kantor

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Get in touch! @sayswhopodcast or email: hey@sayswhopodcast.com

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THREE IS A MAGIC NUMBER with Molly Ball

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 06:50:00 +0000

Subscribe on iTunes here. We are also available on most podcatching platforms, so you can listen to us however and wherever you like!

We did it! We made it through the third debate! Everything is fine now. Except, who is at the door? What’s that strange machine? Did you know that there have been twenty-five debates in this election cycle? Did you want to know that? Neither did we.

Dan is eating too much pie. Maureen has been up to something. And Molly Ball from The Atlantic speaks to us, fresh off a plane from Las Vegas. Together, three people try to make sense of the third debate.

Who’s the puppet? You’re the puppet!

Molly Ball is a staff writer for The Atlantic, where she is a leading voice in the magazine’s coverage of U.S. politics. She has been awarded the Toner Prize for Excellence in Political Reporting, the Sandy Hume Memorial Award for Excellence in Political Journalism, and the Lee Walczak Award for Political Analysis for her coverage of political campaigns and issues. She appears regularly as an analyst on NBC’s Meet the Press, CBS’s Face the Nation, PBS’s Washington Week, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, and NPR. In 2007, she won $100,000 on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire--really, that is a thing that happened to her! She lives in Virginia with her husband and three children.

Marc Evan Jackson can be seen and heard in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Kong: Skull Island, and Thrilling Adventure Hour, as well as many other places. He is the co-founder of the Detroit Creativity Project, a non-profit offering confidence-building, imagination-stimulating, life-improving improv instruction in middle- and high-schools in Detroit.

And finally, that waterslide Maureen keeps talking about? The one with the loop? It's real.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Get in touch! @sayswhopodcast or email: hey@sayswhopodcast.com

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MINICAST: RELAX WITH SAYS WHO

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Tue, 18 Oct 2016 05:15:00 +0000

Subscribe on iTunes here. We are also available on most podcatching platforms, so you can listen to us however and wherever you like!

Today’s episode is a MINICAST. The full episode this week will be up on Friday for our POST DEBATE discussion with Molly Ball, politics reporter from The Atlantic.

But! We wanted to give you something you could use to help you in this trying time. This is the official Says Who relaxation hypnosis tape. Feel your election stress melt away. Come relax with us. RELAX.

Have questions for your friends at SAYS WHO? Tweet us at @sayswhopodcast. We love questions.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE GHOST OF TWOoOoOoo DEBATES with Jamelle Bouie

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 07:00:00 +0000

Subscribe on iTunes here. We are also available on most podcatching platforms, so you can listen to us however and wherever you like!

After living through the leaked Trump tape and the second debate (not to mention the VP debate that feels like a million years ago but was actually a week ago), Maureen and Dan try to get out of covering the election, but a spectral visitor brings sets them back on task. The ghost that visits them is nowhere near as terrifying as reality, as the Republican party splits with Trump and the second debate goes completely off the rails. Thankfully, Maureen and Dan are joined by Jamelle Bouie, chief political correspondent for Slate Magazine, and a political analyst for CBS News. Jamelle joins Says Who straight from landing in New York after being at the debate--where he lived to tell the tale. Join us this week, as we dig into the dynamics of an election turned upside down and where we go from here.

As chief political correspondent for Slate, Jamelle Bouie writes nearly daily about the campaign. Read his thoughts here.. In addition, you can catch him regularly sharing his thoughts on CBS News.

Our ghost was played by Amber Benson, actress, director, producer, and writer. She played Tara on the hit series Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her most recent book is The Last Dream Keeper: An Echo Park Coven Novel.

The theme music to the Stars Hollowcast was performed by Josh Kantor, the organist for the Boston Red Sox.

Have questions for your friends at SAYS WHO? Tweet us at @sayswhopodcast. We love questions.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SEX, TAXES, AND AUDIOBOOKS with Farai Chideya

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 5 Oct 2016 11:10:00 +0000

Subscribe on iTunes here. We are also available on most podcatching platforms, so you can listen to us however and wherever you like!

Maureen has been listening to audiobooks at night; Dan has some serious questions about where she’s been getting them from. No one has been sleeping much, not Maureen, or Dan, or Donald Trump. It has been a week of midnight creeping, late night tweeting, and general mayhem. Debate meltdowns, imaginary sex tapes, leaked taxes, and increasingly inflammatory proclamations--how to cope with it all? Enter 538’s Farai Chideya, who has been traveling the country this election season, getting to know voters up close. She shares a deeply enlightening, uplifting, and humane take on how we can come together, despite our differences (and how we may not be as different as we seem).

Farai Chideya has covered every elections since 1996 for outlets including CNN, NPR, and, currently, FiveThirty Eight, where she's doing the series FiveThirtyEight.com/TheVoters. The most recent of her six books is The Episodic Career. She lives in Brooklyn and loves science fiction and hiking, both of which have kept her nominally sane during this election.

Our audiobook narrator is Simon Cole. Simon is a London-based actor and voiceover artist. Find out how to have Simon narrate your audiobook at www.simoncole.co.uk.

Have questions for your friends at SAYS WHO? Tweet us at @sayswhopodcast. We love questions.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

THE GREAT DEBATE COASTER with Chris Hayes

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 28 Sep 2016 11:30:00 +0000

Subscribe on iTunes here. We are also available on most podcatching platforms, so you can listen to us however and wherever you like!

Something strange is happening in the Says Who? studio. Dan and Maureen are visited by a terrible spectre with a strangely familiar voice. Dan isn’t sleeping and Maureen walks through her troubled theme park past. MSNBC’s Chris Hayes comes along and talks about his favorite gum! Also the election. He definitely talks about the election too. Learn what happens behind the scenes on MSNBC, and get a measured take on the debate. Chris is here to set it all straight.

Get off the cyber and get into your earspace, because it’s SAYS WHO time! (SNIFF)

Special guest: NPR’s Peter Sagal

Show links:

Watch All In with Chris Hayes weekdays at 8pm on MSNBC

Get Chris’s books:

Listen to our resident ghost Peter Sagal on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me

Have questions for your friends at SAYS WHO? Tweet us at @sayswhopodcast. We love questions.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

SUPER PALS, SUPER POLLS with Josh Katz

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 11:00:00 +0000

Subscribe on iTunes here. We are also available on most podcatching platforms, so you can listen to us however and wherever you like!

We’ve been hanging on polls for months, but we realized that we didn’t know how polls work. So we got Josh Katz of the New York Times Upshot to explain it to us. Come walk through the process of polling with someone who truly understands how this numerical sausage gets made! This involves landlines, disembodied hands answering phones in haunted houses, and computer models that run millions of simulated elections every few hours. Maureen asks a lot of questions about the movie Wargames. Dan loses his grip on reality. And there is organ music from Josh Kantor, the official organist of the Boston Red Sox.

Show links:

Have questions for your friends at SAYS WHO? Tweet us at @sayswhopodcast. We love questions.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

The Super Pals Podcast theme was performed by Josh Kantor

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

MAKE ANY OTHER YEAR GREAT AGAIN ALSO with Ana Marie Cox

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Wed, 14 Sep 2016 13:40:00 +0000

Subscribe on iTunes here. We are also available on most podcatching platforms, so you can listen to us however and wherever you like!

In this inaugural episode of SAYS WHO, Dan and Maureen talk to senior political correspondent for MTV news and creator of Wonkette, Ana Marie Cox.

We sing some songs. We talk of tacos, hats, haunted mansions, and balloons. Oh and also the grinding reality of the 2016 Presidential election. Also that. Ana brings the facts. Maureen sings a few times. Dan tries to find the light in a time of shadow.

Find out more about Ana and her work here .

Have questions for your friends at SAYS WHO? Tweet us at @sayswhopodcast. We love questions.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Trailer: 537 Days? Dear God. 537 Days.

hey@sayswhopodcast.com (Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker) — Sun, 11 Sep 2016 04:32:00 +0000

Subscribe on iTunes here. We are also available on most podcatching platforms, so you can listen to us however and wherever you like!

Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker say hello, grapple with time being unforgivingly linear, and introduce Says Who? the new podcast dedicated to surviving the last eight weeks of this never-ending election cycle.

This episode is just a taste of what's to come, with full-length episodes dropping weekly starting this week. Stock up on your election survival gear, but don't forget to pack your podcast player because we're getting through this election together.

Your Intrepid Hosts: Maureen Johnson and Dan Sinker

Our awesome theme is courtesy of Ted Leo.

Says Who's Logo was made by the one and only Darth

Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho