How are you doing so far in 2024.

[13:50] Definition of sexual orientation

[20:40] Is this sexuality?

[26:33] Judging people based on what they look like

[30:06] Our rainbow community is divided 

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“If you transition to a man you must now be with women only”

“If you google gay doesn’t automatically make you gay”

“Why are we questioning masculinity?”

Website Referenced

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/types-of-sexuality/

https://youtu.be/lL-SxpW_1Go?si=ra0IsFN7nNXYE8Ty

https://www.grindr.com/blog/types-of-sexualities

[33:39]  Gift of time  

[27:58] Decreasing Screen Time  

[11:50] Not caring what others think

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“I need to do what I need to do for myself”

“I can no longer be a superwoman”

Website Referenced

https://www.allure.com/story/2024-horoscope-yearly-predictions

https://www.forbes.com/sites/ruthreitmeier/2023/12/28/5-critical-stages-for-creating-change-in-2024/?sh=d5e1bf2fd9d1

Connect with Us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bumpin_gums_w_tee_kim/

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Website: https://bumpingumspodcast.com/  

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Connect with us. Please tell us what makes you shy away from asking for help. We’d love to hear your reasons.

Please feel free to leave us reviews from whatever platform you are listening to us. It will enable us to reach more people.  

CONTACT INFORMATION:

Veterans Crisis Line: Dial 988 then PRESS 1

https://veterancrisisline.net

https://988lifeline.org

https://nmcrisisline.com

https://www.cabq.gov

^ In the search box type 24 hour crisis lines

Text  NAMI to 741-741 (A trained counselor to receive 24/7 crisis support via text messages)

Call your local police department by dialing 911

Contact our podcast. We promise to get you walking in the direction of survival. step by step...  

                                                              It's time we BREAK THE SILENCE...!!!!

[19:20] The A list celebrities are not shifting in 2024

[22:40] The invention of the celebrity

[26:20] How to heal yourself 

[39:00] Don’t expect to be supported all the time

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“Celebrities are not role model”

“Gen z has more access to celebrities now than we did in our childhood”

“you could not tell me Rock Hudson name was not his real name”

“I am black woman obsessed”

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Connect with us. Please tell us what makes you shy away from asking for help. We’d love to hear your reasons.

Please feel free to leave us reviews from whatever platform you are listening to us. It will enable us to reach more people. 

[7:33] How each generation handles toxic family

[17:06] It can be very hard setting boundaries

[27:00] Putting yourself first

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“I am the messy one in the relationship”

“I do not think I am toxic”

“You shouldn’t force anyone to hug someone you don’t want to”

Website Mentioned:

Surviving Toxic Family Relationships: When to Set Boundaries and Walk Away.

https://www.dailyom.com/journal/surviving-a-toxic-family-and-knowing-when-it-s-time-to-walk-away-for-good/?aff=910&ad=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_campaign=PerformanceMax&acct=9358138875&campaign_id=16896613381&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA7t6sBhAiEiwAsaieYv9peZy44HSuO1ES_-9SrjudWIain504qCTka41CeWcEdzaRIwyqfxoCpfoQAvD_BwE

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“No child should be scared to play their ball outside”

“I am scared to accidentally walk by a persons home”

“Gun control is needed in this country”

"we don't hate guns we own guns"

Articles

https://news.yahoo.com/4-shootings-mistake-doorbell-driveway-basketball-us-guns-193010998.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAJPdiBhNTj7Bx_paEuCcyJr9Efpuvg4KqEyGd3MaPsljrahpwtyyGDj8Nl4XzFaTScN60iF0Aw-Qs-nos7U5F7u5akKvnWTEsqqUkJq-QnU2VB6_NuD8ZZV6ANORR90tlnvmJzHg6Oa-KlYKb4BsSzUw4IbYaEJzkVCTdY5t_TpS

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/09/13/key-facts-about-americans-and-guns/

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[08:31] Using your time wisely instead of just wishing

[16:40] Stop making excuses

[23:37] Self-Motivation

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“You have 90 million minutes in your life if you live to the age of 90”

“Wishing is a waste of time if you are not putting the work in”

“Stop saying I wish and start saying I want”

Websites To Visit:

https://shellijohnson.com/5-reasons-you-need-to-stop-wishing-start-doing-right-now/

https://www.healthyincite.com/stop-wishing-and-start-doing/

Connect with Us:

Weekly Blog on our website 

Website:https://bumpingumspodcast.com/

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[2:22] Learning about a will, trust or anything in between.

[16:25] If no will next stop would be probate court

[17:41] Various ways to start a will or trust online

[26:10] Which is better will or trust?

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“It’s our responsibility to take care of our parents”

“Don’t put me in no ground I don’t want to be in no ground”

“Make sure your wishes are allocated”

Website Mentioned:

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/personal-finance/051315/will-vs-trust-difference-between-two.asp

https://www.consumerreports.org/money/estate-planning/why-people-of-color-are-less-likely-to-have-a-will-a6742820557/

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[10:30] sometimes you can’t fix everything 

[14:50] Being called a fixer 

[24:49] Protection on all fronts 

[41:59] Steps to stop being a fixer

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“Everyone has their path they have to go thru. “ 

“There was no one there for us.” 

“it’s not about being in control.“

Website Mentioned:

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/fixer

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scandal_(TV_series)

Connect with Us:

Website: https://bumpingumspodcast.com/

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[21:00] Starting your self-forgiveness journey

[25:00] Moving in a positive direction

[35:57] Benefits of self-forgiveness

[46:54] Segment for my church friends

[51:10] Vision Board Homework

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“Your lies are hurting me”

“Show yourself compassion”

“I forgive myself for not marrying Idris Elba”

“You can say sorry to yourself”

Website Mentioned:

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/self-esteem/what-is-self-forgiveness-and-why-is-it-important-to-your-mental-health/

https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/a26028888/how-to-forgive-yourself/

https://pedestalproject.com/2021/04/18/a-black-womans-journey-to-self-forgiveness/

https://www.good-thinking.uk/blog/4-rs-self-forgiveness

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-path-passionate-happiness/202112/7-steps-self-forgiveness

Connect with Us:

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[06:23] There is a lesson in everything 

[13:38] Putting so much pressure on yourself 

[28:49] Being vulnerable is not easy 

[35:51] Recommit to something you have neglected

[40:01] Podcast commitment 

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“It’s ok to walk in the left field.”

“I didn’t get the BBL”

“Learning to love who I am and not what people expect me to be.” 

“Opening myself up to love has been one of the biggest changes.”

Website Mentioned:

https://www.canva.com 

https://www.guitarcenter.com 

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New and Improved Website:https://bumpingumspodcast.com/

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1. Let it out! You can talk about it, write about it, go out for a walk or scream it out.
2. Practice self-acceptance. Practice positive self-talk and continue to root for yourself. Your game is not over, it’s just the beginning.
3. Reflect on your desires not your goals. Rework your blueprint.
4. Look for the lessons to help you to move on.

Key Talking Points of the Episode:

[09:44] Taking time to grieve for your disappointment

[23:24] Sitting in your feelings 

[27:41] Do not let disappointment fester 

[38:05] Reworking your disappointment blueprint

[42:28] Are you happy? How can you move on from disappointment

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“As a black woman we don’t have time to sit in our feelings”

“I can show you better than I can tell you”

“Root for yourself because you are worthy” 

“Take a moment to look for the hidden lesson”

Websites Quoted: 

https://www.betterup.com/blog/disappointment

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-disappointment#1

https://declutterthemind.com/blog/dealing-with-disappointment/

https://www.manhattancbt.com/archives/5070/how-to-deal-with-disappointment/

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Don’t be fooled; your 401K can accompany you anywhere. If you are open to hopping jobs, feel free to move when you find greener pastures. 401K should no longer hold you back.

Have a plan: Only allow yourself to retire if you know what you want to do going forward. Consider volunteering in your community or doing something that you are really into. You can tap into your hobby.

Create your financial freedom: Look at your expenses and see what you can cut off, then save the money or invest for retirement.

Prioritize your debt: Plan how you will clear your debt. Once you are debt free, direct the money to your retirement.

Follow your spirit: Take a chance and do something you love and are happy doing. You only have one life to live. When it’s done, it is done.

Work on your mindset: One thing for sure is one day, you will retire. Be mentally prepared for that.

Key Talking Points of the Episode:

[02:21] Why black Americans have no retirement savings

[20:38] Why do we loathe thinking about retirement?

[39:23] Your 401K can move with you

[48:06] How to plan for retirement

[56:11] The importance of having a retirement plan

[01:04:25] Get your mindset right

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“A lot of black people, black women have to find different alternatives when it comes on now to their retirement.”

“If you don’t know, you have to educate yourself.”

“Plan your life before you sit down. And then if sitting down is something that you decide that you want to do, then sit down, and don’t do nothing else.”

“Everybody has a hobby, tap into your hobby.”

“I refuse to go out working my entire life and then feeling so unhappy and unfulfilled. Because I didn’t prepare myself financially for retirement.”

Articles Mentioned: 

HTTPS://WWW.INVESTOPEDIA.COM/RETIREMENT-SAVINGS-BY-RACE-5086962

https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-retirement-crisis-hits-black-americans-hard-11613989981

https://www.tiaa.org/public/institute/publication/2022/differences-retirement-preparedness-and-security-race-and-ethnicity

https://www.urban.org/sites/default/files/2023-01/Black%20Women’s%20Retirement%20Preparedness%20and%20Wealth.pdf

https://www.damemagazine.com/2021/01/18/the-retirement-crisis-for-women-of-color/

Connect with Us: 

New and Improved Website: https://bumpingumspodcast.com/

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Connect with us. Please tell us what makes you shy away from asking for help. We’d love to hear your reasons.

Please feel free to leave us reviews from whatever platform you are listening to us. It will enable us to reach more people. 

[8:09] Expansion how are you expanding your mind?

[15:04]  Connection how are you connecting with the world?

[23:31] Adventure dip your toe in the sand 

[40:22] Exploration seeing another side of life

Quotes: 

“We are all creatures of habit”

“Dead Ass I love you or Dead Ass I am going to shoot you”

“Allow yourself to feel the moment” 

“Go beyond the routine”

"Words without action is hollow"

Connect with Us: Visit our new website!!! 

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Please feel free to leave us reviews from whatever platform you are listening to us. It will enable us to reach more people. 

Key Talking Points of the Episode:

[4:05] Black men attacking black women

[5:26] Passport Bros

[31:59]: Attack on Serena Williams and Simone Biles

[32:44] The angry black women

[37:42] Racist have the power

[50:29] Ally for the black community

[58:56] Black women do not want to hear your story or be your savior

Quotes:

“You don’t need to attack someone that looks like you”

“If I fell down and cried for every time I get pushed down I would never get up and walk again”

“Keep pushing along don’t quit”

“If we were doing this to other color women this would be shut down along time ago”

Articles:

1. Black couple sues after they say home valuation rises nearly $300,000 when shown by White colleague                                                    https://www.cnn.com/2022/08/19/us/black-couple-home-appraisal-lawsuit-reaj/index.html
2. After a low appraisal, Black Seattle family 'whitewashes' home, gets higher price  https://www.businessinsider.com/seattle-black-family-whitewashes-home-get-appraisal-259k-higher-report-2022-11
3. Racism at work https://www.tiktok.com/@goodgriefneedscompany/video/7190401727449959726 

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Voicemail Number: 978 354 5611 

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It's a state of pure sadness for black people. Being a black person in America right now is a lot of work. You are responsible for protecting yourself from the law when it should be vice-versa. 

Black mothers in America worry every time their children step out of the door. They have no idea if their children will come back to them alive. Police brutality in our country is sickening. We have seen black people get murdered by their fellow black people who hide behind the blue uniform.

Recently, we saw the murder of Tyree Nichols, and we have Jason Whitlock blaming Tyler's death on the black police female chief, and black single mothers. Jason thinks if the supervisor were male, or married Tyler would be alive today. Do you see the level of disrespect and disregard for black women?

Malcolm X once said, "The black woman is the most disrespected person in America. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman." Could we agree more? 

As black women, we need to feel protected. We need to know our children will come back home safe and alive anytime they leave. We cannot forever live in fear. We are tired of teaching our children how to live when they should be living freely. Do you have an idea of all the lessons single black moms have to offer their children in case they encounter law enforcers?

Key Talking Points of the Episode:

[05:12] Black police officers and police brutality

[08:12] Rodney King's case

[09:20] what could Rodney King have done to warrant the police to treat him the way they did?

[13:20] The heavy responsibilities bestowed on black people

[26:48] Why do we always blame women?

[37:22] Kim's struggle as a black single mom

[00:02] Challenges of being a black single mom

[20:12] When do all lives matter?

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

"We have gotten to a point inside in society where everybody has a right to something. But you know who doesn't get to say whatever we want? We the black and brown community."

"If you choose to go kill someone. It makes you a murderer."

"Until you know what it's really like to be black you have no idea what it's like to be black."

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Voicemail Number: 978 354 5611 

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www.lifehack.org

After a few years, Kim’s sister was tired of taking care of her and asked her mom to take Kim to America. Kim’s mom had no option other than to fly her to America. When Kim first got to the US, her mom lived in a friend’s basement with another family. She had rented a room which was a big culture shock for Kim!

A few days after Kim’s arrival in the US, her mom decided to enroll her in school. Luckily enough, Kim was able to enroll in a public school. When Kim joined the school, she endured bullying because of her accent and body size. She worked hard to get rid of her Caribbean accent, but things didn’t get easier for her. She even decided to downplay her intelligence just to fit in. 

You might need to have some tissue close by.

Chet Hanks: 

https://youtu.be/1FankRSprOs

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“I think every black person, every minority has a story where we don’t have two parents in the home. Even if we did, they were not home when we were home.”

“If you want to go back to your roots, then you go back to your roots.”

We both have gone through therapy and we can comfortably say it is among the many good things that have happened to us. Unfortunately, we have seen people who have gone through some therapy sessions, but it turned out to be the worst due to medical mistrust and cultural stigma.

People of color find it challenging to get along with therapists who are white because, in most cases, they find themselves trying to explain too much about themselves to therapists for them to understand them and their culture. Others end up being termed mentally unfit while all they need is therapy.

In this episode, we’ll look at why people don’t go for therapy, and we hope that by the end of the session, some people will be encouraged to go for therapy.

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“It’s difficult and hard to understand why this big country still doesn’t have universal health care, like other countries.”

“I want my president to represent me. I want my doctors to represent me. I want my mental health professionals to represent me. If there’s a lack of diversity in healthcare and therapy, it’s so hard. You’re not representing me.”

“Going through therapy has taught me more than anything else in the world. “

“Find out who you are. And don’t apologize for being what you need to be known for being who you want to be.”

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Voicemail Number: 978 354 5611 

Connect with us. Share your therapy experience with us. We’d love to hear it. If you are yet to attend therapy, please share with us what is holding you back.

Please feel free to leave us reviews from whatever platform you are listening to us. It will enable us to reach more people. 

• We don’t want to be considered weak
• We have no one to rely on
• We don’t want to be disappointed
• We have no idea how to ask for help
• We feel nobody can do it better than us 

From the list above, what’s your excuse for not asking for help? 

As minority women, we agree that it’s difficult to ask for help even from our partners. We struggle with carrying our load, while the easiest thing to do is to ask for a hand. But what if the person disappoints us? What if they don’t do as much as you expected, or the help got recorded in the running tab, and now you owe them one?

Asking for help is not easy, but it is necessary. It is a sign of strength, not weakness. It gives you room to focus on other important things like resting for your well-being. 

Join us in this episode as we address the issue of asking for help as minority women and look out for a new segment, ‘fuck out of here’.

Key Talking Points of the Episode:

[01:29] Why is it so hard for women to ask for help?

[02:59] I don’t want to be considered as weak

[12:00] I have no one to rely on

[21:36] Does Kim find herself obligated to offer help?

[28:04] Keep running tabs in relationships for things people do for each other

[37:36] When friends become more reliable than family

[55:12] Fuck out of here 

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“Asking for help is important because it protects us from burnout from being overwhelmed and helps mental wellness.”

“It’s hard for us to put that vulnerability out there when we spend so much time of our day trying to protect ourselves.”

“Don’t assume people will disappoint you. Give them that chance.”

“No matter how small, always ask for help. If you need a few minutes to breathe, ask for help.”

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Voicemail Number: 978 354 5611 

Connect with us. Please tell us what makes you shy away from asking for help. We’d love to hear your reasons.

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Website Research:

https://www.proactivehm.com.au/why-is-asking-for-help-a-good-idea/

How many women of color do you know that are in leadership roles? 

How many women of color do you know have been seeking promotions year in, year out, but there are no concrete reasons they don't get promoted? They are either too strong or not strong enough. The reasons are neither here nor there. Nobody takes the time to look at their expertise, experience, and intelligence.

Today's conversation will seek to dig deeper into understanding the plight of women of color getting into the boardrooms. We are past the campaign where we wanted more women of color in the workforce. We now want to see more women in leadership roles.

A study by Harvard states that at the VP corporate level, we have 56% white men, 24% white women, and 13%. Men of Color and 7% Women of Color. In senior VP, 61%. White men, men of color, 12%, White women, 22% and 5% of women of color. The statistics are disheartening. The one-million-dollar question remains, why can't we have more women of color in leadership roles?

Teresa is in the police service. We only have 2% of Black and Hispania women in her industry in leadership. Teresa has been applying for the lieutenant position three times now, but she does not get it despite all her experience and qualifications. Currently, she is in an acting role in the same position, but as usual, she cannot be given the job. 

In this episode, we will be looking at the barriers women of color have to break to get into leadership roles. Also, we will share some strategies that women of color can use for them to rise up the ranks. 

Listen to hear more. 

Key Talking Points of the Episode:

[02:32] Who is a woman of color?

[10:09] Promotions when it comes to women of color

[11:01] Why is it difficult for women of color to get promoted?

[32:29] Why do women of color take on so much? What are our expectations?

[52:46] Strategies to get more women of color in leadership positions

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

"A leader is someone willing to say I am grooming all of you if we need to replace each other at some point. There is no gap in what we do."

"Women of Color are not just black women. I want everyone to know that. Women of Color encompasses Black and Hispanic women."

"No one understands the plight of a black woman and how we get treated until somebody treats you the same way."

"If you don't have respect for the women of color, you're not going to give her those promotions."

"As women of color we give so much that we do not leave room for anyone to come and critique us to tell us how we did not do something, and we fail."

Would you like to dig deeper into today's topic? Here are some links you can look at:

https://wiw-report.s3.amazonaws.com/Women_in_the_Workplace_2021.pdf

https://hbr.org/2019/03/women-of-color-get-less-support-at-work-heres-how-managers-can-change-that

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Website: https://bumpingumspodcast.com/

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Voicemail Number: 978 354 5611 

Connect with us. Tell us what do you see for leadership roles for women of color? What's your strategy to help women of color rise to the ranks?

Please feel free to leave us reviews from whatever platform you are listening to us. It will enable us to reach more people. 

https://www.netflix.com>metime

DEFINITION:

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/me-time

WEBSITE:

https://organisemyhouse.com/create-some-me-time

CONTACT:

tee@bumpingumspodcast.com

kim@bumpingumspodcast.com

(978) 354-5611

Why don’t you travel? Just take a moment and think about it.

We know you probably have a million reasons why you don’t travel. Unfortunately, all those reasons do not hold water. Traveling is therapeutic and opens you up to a new world you probably never thought existed. It creates room for you to experience new cultures and meet people from different corners of the globe. 

We are not the most traveled humans, but we have been to several countries. You must be thinking we are rich; we are not! We are the people who take advantage of payment plans, and we believe you, too, can use them. 

Let’s dig into the reasons why people don’t travel:

Traveling is dangerous: Have you met people who do not travel because they think traveling is dangerous? We believe that’s just an excuse. We have seen people who travel to countries/destinations presumed to be dangerous, yet they turn out to be okay.

I cannot travel alone: When it comes to traveling, we believe you can never be alone. You go out there and meet people doing the same thing, and that’s how you gain new friends.

Not enough time off work: If you are American, we believe you agree with this reason 100%. People never have time off work. Tell you what, you can take just two weeks off your job to travel. Is that too much to ask?

Racism: All thanks to social and mainstream media, people are afraid of racism. The fact is racism is everywhere. What’s surprising is that many travelers have never experienced it.

Too expensive: Traveling can be both affordable and costly simultaneously. We travel not because we are rich but because we use traveling plans. You can borrow that from us.

Suggestions on how to start traveling:

Start local: Identify cities near you that you’ve not been to and commit to going there.

Visiting different states or neighboring states: Sometimes, you'll find the neighboring states offer different activities for those traveling for the first time. Some states are like five hours away from where you are. You can drive there or take a train.

Listen to hear more.

Key Talking Points of the Episode:

[01:11] Our first travel experiences

[02:59] Why don’t people travel

[16:31] When did we start traveling?

[25:22] Suggestions on how to travel

Magical Quotes from the Episode:

“It can be expensive to travel, but at the same time, it can be very affordable.”

“The world is much bigger than where we are and live in our minds.”

Connect with Us: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/bumpin_gums_w_tee_kim/

Facebook:https://web.facebook.com/BumpinGumsPodcast/

Website: https://bumpingumspodcast.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/bumpin_gums_

Voicemail Number: 978 354 5611 

EPISODE LINKS:

https://onlywanderlust.com/6-dumb-reasons-people-dont-travel/

http://www.cnn.com/2011/TRAVEL/02/04/americans.travel.domestically/index.html

Please feel free to leave us reviews from whatever platform you are listening to us. It will enable us to reach more people. Also, share your travel destinations with us on Instagram.

Websites mentioned in the podcast:

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/bullying/how-to-handle-adult-bullying/

https://findado.osteopathic.org/adult-bullying-survey-finds-31-americans-bullied-adult

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/workplace-bullying.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bully-wise/202205/how-deal-adult-bullies

https://www.mutualofomaha.com/wild-kingdom/

Aries Spears vs Lizzo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXmHbIDxckI

https://www.allmusic.com/artist/two-tons-o-fun-mn0000201946/biography

Two names:  https://www.familysearch.org/en/wiki/Jamaica_Personal_Names