If you want to get in contact with us, add us on Instagram at @settolearn and slide into our DMs!

If you want to get in contact with us, add us on Instagram at @settolearn and slide into our DMs!

You can download coloring pages at [themast.net](https://themast.net)!

We dive RIGHT into follow up:

• From Jesse, pacemakers are probably fine with dog fences as long as you’re about 12” away
• The correlation of alcohol consumption to cancer has been overstated
• Derek succeeded at the NJ bureaucracy with nothing but dad jokes
• We’re actually going to try to buy a new house!

Stuff we learned

Derek:

• How much sugar is in a thing
• There are people that absolutely don’t fidget at all
• Having a list of 1-2 hour projects is great for productivity

Tanya:

• She’s not insane because “the call of the void” is a normal thing

Rainee:

• Pain and wanting to be someone else

Aaaaaaand Derek thinks Tanya totally has ADHD. Tanya is in denial, and thus convo ensues.

After that, it’s pretty much just the Eclipse review at the end.

Thanks as always for listening! You can visit the show site at settolearn.com!

We learn things about Covergirl live, during the episode, and Tanya muses about how tragic it is that the world doesn't get to hear Derek read books to kids, then we jump right into things we've learned:

Derek:

• Soap bubbles make a sound when they pop
• Atlas now has opinions, not just needs
• We could pay off our house this year

Tanya:

• Pacemakers somehow interact poorly with invisible dog fences
• The depth of the silliness of the English language
• Speaking out your parenting insecurities to others is a good thing

Side tangents taken during the things we've learned segment includes:

• Like a million references to Covergirl
• The Dream Podcast
• Tanya doesn't think she's young enough to say boujee and lit
• Derek rants about people not talking about finances
• Derek is the guy at work that uses big words
• Alcohol consumption increases your risk for cancer?
• Derek delves into the bureaucratic debacle that his New Jersey license has become

Then for main topic, Derek talks about ADHD, what it is, what it looks like for him, etc. Check out How To ADHD on YouTube if you have ADHD and/or want to learn more about it.

Hit us up on Instagram (instagram.com/settolearn if you want to ask us questions for the show!

We talk about Martin Luther’s ribs a little bit before we go into...

Things we learned:

Derek

• The new oven smokes like crazy if anything gets on the bottom of it
• Children at Murry’s age need constant and gentle redirection

Tanya

• She might be pacifist!
• There’s still some things that she’s working through from earlier in life
• No matter what you learned in parenting, you have to constantly relearn the same things

Rainee:

• What “hesitated” means

Murry

• He’s so much more conversational now

Then we talk about New Year’s resolutions and how we use themes, rather than resolutions. Tanya’s word for last year was Grace, but doesn’t have one for this year yet. Derek’s word last year was Survive, and this year’s is Grow.

Finally, after the credits, we talk about Derek’s first experience watching Twilight: New Moon!

• Derek:
  • ADHD
  • Being spontaneous with dates
  • Want to learn about avoiding spammy texts
  • Discovered that 3rd parties to 3rd parties to healthcare exist
• Tanya:
  • Essential oils and other wellness stuff
  • The line between people-pleasing and appropriate caution with kid noise in church
• Rainee:
  • Became a Christian
  • Taylor Swift is real

Thanks again for listening to the show! Here’s to a great new year!

Highlights:

Life stuff - Murry’s still teething hard, and Addie is doing her baby thing of needing to be held all the time, but despite life being full, life is pretty good!

Follow up - It’s really funny when children cry into a kazoo. Also, people agree that eating mold is bad and gross. Geez, you’re all wimps.

Derek watches Twilight, first movie - He thinks it’s an awesome premise, poorly executed in parts, but otherwise enjoyed it!

Things we learned:

• Derek successfully got a flu shot on his own, but passed out HARD on a blood draw, totally freaking out a phlebotomist
• Kanye is probably a Christian now and you should listen to his new album
• Triggers, a book about being levelheaded in parenting, is really good and you should read it!
• Derek passed a New Jersey electrical test on his first try
• Apparently jumping off a roof doesn’t end in instant death, but definitely ends in day-later-whole-body-pain
• Tanya’s a bit insecure about what people will think of her parenting style, including things about unschooling, like kids not learning to read til they’re 12
• It’s not a weakness to care about people. NO REGRETS ON THE CULT EPISODE, Y’HEAR???

Then the rest of the episode is our thoughts on Halloween! We reference a Pubcast episode in there, too.

We’d love to hear your thoughts about the show! Find and message us on Instagram or send us a voice message!

Follow Up:

Thanks to Jazmynn and Colin for sending in questions for the unschooling episode!

Voice messages link: speakpipe.com/settolearn

What we've been learning:

Derek's been going on a caffeine sabbatical. Tanya's realizing that people forget she's sassy, since she's been so under the weather up until recently. Derek loves Lincoln Log messes. Tanya feels weird about not being able to give to people when people give to her. Rainee doesn't like boys, just daddies. Tanya learned that Derek ate just a very very tiny amount of mold, it's not a big deal, okay?

Love you guys. Thanks for listening. I know we aren't very regular recently, but we still love doing this and are so grateful to you for joining in on our lil show. ❤️

“To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.”

• Friedrich Nietzsche

We talk about Atlas' birth story, both Tanya and Derek's sides, as well as our feelings surrounding the event.

Basically, we're super jazzed. 😍😍😍

We also talk briefly about what we were experiencing the several days prior to her arrival, but we'll save that for last episode.

Talk to us at instagram.com/settolearn or leave us a voice message at talk.settolearn.com!

The previous show notes author has been sacked due to their snark and how long it took them to write show notes.

We start off talking about how our Canada vacation went, and slowly transition to stuff we learned:

• Rainee learned about gutting fish
• We all learned about transitioning into vacation
• Tanya talked Rainee through what spanking is
• It takes a long time to paint cabinetry
• Tanya’s realizing how much this pregnancy has changed how she thinks and functions
• Tangent: Derek talks about electrical licenses and tests
• Derek’s learned to like stainless steel straws
• Tanya’s learned that Derek has few opinions, but those he does have are surprisingly strong and surprising.
• Tangent: 7 Brides for 7 Brothers

Then we get into our main topic this week, which is finally the unschooling episode! We lay down the primer of what unschooling is and how you should think about it, as well as answer a few questions.

Resources mentioned:

• BoyinaBand videos:
  • Don't Stay In School
  • You don't legally have to go to school.
• Changing Education Paradigms by Ken Robinson (RSA Animate version)
• Pam Laricchia
  • LivingJoyfully.ca (website)
  • Exploring Unschooling (podcast)

We'd love to hear your feedback! Message us on Instagram or leave us a voicemail

If you have feedback or questions, you can contact Derek and Tanya on Instagram or send a voice message at settolearn.com/talk!

We join our “heroes” just in time for you to hear them eating ice cream you can’t have. Mmm, doesn’t that make you feel special.

Anyway, Tanya’s still pregnant. Not much changing there anytime soon.

They’ve learned a few things, not surprising when it’s been about a month an a half since recording the last episode. 😳

Derek learned:

• How to curl hair
• He doesn’t drink a lot of water because of facial hair (if you want to embarrass him, tell him about your competent beard-drinking here)
• He is 180 pounds
• Vasectomy videos from the 80s are still being used
• Rainee feels empathy for video game characters
• Lots around his new work truck!

Tanya learned:

• Whiskey barrels are the proto-crib
• How to view her struggles as her children’s strengths
• How to tip!

Here is the part of the show where they beg you to be involved, dear listener. So I’m contractually obligated to point you to either DM them on Instagram or the voice messaging thingy at settolearn.com/talk.

Tanya then presents her research/thoughts/ramblings on free-range parenting, motivated by a Stuff You Should Know episode and an old article by Lenore Skenazy.

Pan-millennial ftw. It’ll all pan out in the end.

The NICE thing about these guys getting farther and farther between episodes is that I don’t have to do these summaries as often.

After some pointless banter and threats of breaking into people’s houses, D&T reveal they’re having a baby girl, and (SPOILERS) her name is Atlas Shrugged. I mean, Mouth Agape. Erm, Atlas Agape. Friggin hippies.

And then we can’t escape it any longer as they go into what they’ve learned:

Derek learned:

• He’s much more motivated to be up early when he knows the kids get up after 6:30
• About mustache wax
• Their coffee pot doesn’t stop brewing when he takes the carafe out
• Why tile feels colder than carpet

Tanya learned:

• She can read the ultrasound pretty sensibly now!
• About placing appropriate blame when she lets people make her overstep her boundaries with work
• To remember expectations are silly in this stage of life

Then Derek goes off on college fraud and uses it as a soapbox for decrying college in general. Send all hate mail today o the Instagram or yell at him at settolearn.com/talk.

Oh look, they made it out with another episode before the heat-death of the universe. Way to be punctual.

Derek jumps in right away with an adorable Rainee recording, and Tanya talks about some feedback to last time’s sin nature episode. They also let you know to give them questions for a future unschooling episode, either on Instagram or via voice message at settolearn.com/talk.

As for things they’ve learned:

• Tanya’s still learning that natural consequences are a...unpleasant...
• Derek learned Rainee thinks that he sleeps on the couch
• Here there really isn’t anything they learned (Tanya’s breaking the rules again) but something something mommy punched daddy playfully and ohhhhhh the toddler accountability
• Derek learned Tanya is extremely opposed to the mutton chop
• Derek’s learning about how good Thomas the Tank Engine is (lol, wut)
• (Here lies an Umbrella Academy diversion)
• Tanya’s learned some things around the vaxxiverse
• Derek’s apparently into an open-world game
• Tanya’s been learning about the Emerson’s sensory tendencies and gives a primer on ASMR

And that’s all you get! So sorry you had to listen to an episode less than an hour long, guess you’ll have to get your jollies somewhere else. Have you tried lightly flogging yourself?

Yep, they’re still pregnant, and Tanya’s still very sick. And also everyone else in the family got sick. Which made everything worse. Really, this whole part is very gross and depressing.

For follow up, Derek decided it was worth mentioning the coincidental release of all of Steven Universe on iTunes with the release of an STL episode. Also, they learned that, go figure, there’s no discovered differences in function among sperm. Yay science.

Learning:

Tanya learned how caffeine works,
Derek learned that poop incidents make one very aware at night,
Tanya learned that you need a lot of heat to kill bacteria
Derek throws in something that may or may not be true about germ clouds and shoes
And Derek learned that he’s still a bad person, and that the gospel is sweet. To shorten up the rambling.

And prepare your tomatoes for the main topic (timestamp: 20:39), where Derek and Tanya talk about their perspectives on the sin nature of children. Some resources they talk about:

• Jesus the Gentle Parent
• GotQuestions.org
• Llamas with Hats
• St. Patrick’s Bad Analogies

Feel free to let them know your very strong feelings either with your voice through their voice message system or with your text words via DM on Instagram! If you’re wondering what happened to the Twitter, it’s still there! You can use it, but you can pretty much count on them not paying attention.

That IV lady story is pretty cute, “stick” around for that.

Ohhhhhhh boy. Strap in, folks. This thing is like, two and a half hours. This is why Derek and Tanya never have guests, sheesh.

So Tanya's sister Elisa comes along for the ride this week. After Elisa gets the obligatory fan-service out of the way, they...well, they get coffee and tea, and talk about cat cafes, and... You know what, let's just skip the pleasantries and go WHAT THEY LEARRRRRRNED:

• Elisa learned how to change a blower motor
• Tanya learned that given enough isolation, she will talk the ear off the first person she comes in contact with
• Derek learned that newspapers are not relevant for kids any more
• Elisa learned that passports are generally not good 6 months before they expire

Then, main topic time! This week, the experts on being married meet the expert on being single.

• Things not to say to singles and marrieds
• Why should you have single or married friends?
• How can you love each other best?
• Miscellaneous listener questions, wrapping it all up. Though the "miscellaneous" refers to the questions, not the listener. It was one listener. Let's not get all confused about this and assume these people have more listeners than they actually have.

And of course, Elisa's baby guessing formula. Don't try this at home, kids.

Congratulations on making it through. As a reward, Derek and Tanya offer two methods of further wasting your time, by giving your opinion by voice message or though DM on Instagram.

After Tanya’s done describing her tea and after they stop lowering expectations for this, their third recording (nice one, Derek), the lede is dropped.

A new child shall be joining the cast of Set To Learn, coming in August!

But not all is happy on the home front. Tanya describes what morning sickness looks like for her, and it’s... not pleasant.

However, they’ve learned some things in this time of crazy: Derek realized he’ll be able to manage to keep the kids alive should Tanya ever kick the bucket, and Tanya’s gained new sympathy for those struggling with chronic pain.

Gender speculation time! Rainee wants a girl, Derek thinks he’s agnostic and Tanya thinks it’s a boy. Then it’s title time, as they bring up a male vs female sperm theory that they ACTUALLY asked for feedback on. So go ahead and send your crazy internet speculation via DM on Instagram or with your voice at SetToLearn.com/talk!

Then they meandered off on an amusing anecdote about toxic squishy toys and floating noses. So. There’s that.

Also, Christmas follow up! If you were curious how Derek possibly could have possibly spent all the budget for gifts last episode, you will quickly understand here.

That’s about it. Unlike the Masts, I refuse to speak to you again until the next episode.

Oh boy, adventures in kids not taking naps. Riveting entertainment.

Speaking of riveting entertainment, Derek and Tanya go on a rant about Cartoon Network to attempt to justify their inevitable pirating of the newest three episodes of Steven Universe. Bending moral guidelines is the best, isn’t it?

And we surprisingly quickly get into what they’ve learned:

Tanya:

• Is either a far-in-advance person or a nick-of-time person
• Learned more about how learning happens organically
• To up your classy house game, just reprogram your electronics to speak in French!
• Realized she needs to figure out how to rest in a life-giving way
• Just always bring shoes
• The kids need a lot less toys than she thought

Derek:

• Lyrics are sometimes different than what he thought they were!
• Don’t put quarters in your mouth
• Amazon hangs onto a lot more information than he thought (Duh, buddy)

After shamelessly shilling their methods of listener communication (which, of course, you can participate in on Instagram and in their voicemail box), they finally get to answering listener questions on Christmas.

From Carisa: What were the traditions for each of your families growing up? What will you keep in your family, and what will you add?

From Cameron and Elisa: How do you deal with Christmas gifts for the young kids?

From Matthew: What are your preferences for Christmas music?

• The Gift: A Christmas Compilation
• This Warm December: A Brushfire Holiday, Vol 2
• Everyday is Christmas by Sia

From Elisa: How do you deal with family visitation on Christmas?

Dennis: Merry Christmas? or Happy Holidays?

And that about wraps it up for this year. If you must continue listening to this, I suppose you should probably subscribe on Apple Podcasts. As always, you can “enjoy” listening at SetToLearn.com.

Merry Holidays, and a Happy New Year.

Hoo boy, these people are distracted this week. They ramble through talking about getting their hair dyed, then about Tanya’s new glasses, then something something Christmas, then back to hair dye. It’s a mess.

But eventually they get to what they’ve learned:

Derek:

• Never trust a dog
• A wonderful unschooling moment with Rainee, regarding mangled fingers
• The command line on computers is actually not insane
• Felt like the 1% a little when dealing with health insurance this year.

Tanya:

• She's getting old
• Discovered that when her base body temp is the highest is when she's the coldest
• No matter how much you prep a toddler for a shot, it's still crazy
• Why the top of her lips peel off in the winter
• Emerson is basically Ron Swanson. Give him all the eggs and bacon you HAVE.

Listener Alyssa tells us her story via Instagram about her experience with post-partum anxiety via a miscarriage. 😢 Thanks for sharing your story, Alyssa!

Our hosts continue the trend of not talking about the cult episode by briefly mentioning that they're still getting feedback about the cult episode. Good job there, guys. 💯

And for the main topic, they talk about what they never thought they'd do as parents, but totally did. Actually, Tanya talked about that. Derek was pretty useless on the topic, and Tanya was nice enough to make it a game for him. Way to reward bad behavior.

Then, listeners, you are solicited to do Derek and Tanya's jobs for them, by asking them anything for the next show, as long as it's Christmas themed. If you want to have pity on them, go to either SetToLearn.com/Talk to leave a voice message or to Instagram to DM them. The bar is set pretty low, folks, so you have all the opportunity in the world.

If you can, review us on Apple Podcasts or share the show with a friend! It helps get us into the ears of more people!

Contact Us

• SetToLearn.com/Talk
• Instagram

We love to hear from you, so let us know at those places if you have questions or want to share your thoughts!

They actually don't dawdle this week before hitting what they've learned:

Tanya:

• Recounts a conversation on race with Rainee.
• Catch a mouse as soon as you see it.
• In this stage of parenting and marriage, naps are the currency of their love.
• Play games with your kids as much as possible.

Derek:

• Caffeine is not a replacement for sleep.
• Normal mousetraps are silly and ineffective.
• He's starting to play with Raspberry Pis and stuff at work.

After the pleasantries are out of the way, they hit up listener feedback for literally the rest of the episode. Apparently they got a lot of feedback from last week, can't imagine why. If you're curious about the cult topic they're talking about, check out last week's episode. If you're here at this episode just for this topic, you can just skip to 18:08.

However, just as a warning, Derek rambles here about making an interesting name for their listeners when they give feedback. If you have any better ideas (can't be too hard, come on), you can make them feel like you care by DMing them on Instagram or by leaving them a voice message at settolearn.com/talk!

They start off with the positive stuff, by people unrelated to Derek and Tanya's specific situation. Some good stuff! 9Marks is recommended as a resource on church discipline, as well as Jonathan Leeman's book called Church Discipline.

They also talk about how last week's show actually circulated through Tanya's old church pretty quickly, as well as through the group of people who have left that church over the years. They talk about some of the feedback from some of those people, which was pretty cool.

Then they hit the negative feedback. This is from people who are still within that church. There were three responses, they talk "briefly" about the gist of all of them, as well as a specific question: How does last week's episode serve to glorify God and build his church?

There's also a lot of feelings talked about after this. Was there anything they wished they did differently last week, what have they learned, how has the response to last week's episode impacted them, etc. It was recorded for posterity or whatever.

Also something about hyper-Calvinism and that they were probably wrong about that part.

Woof. Hopefully they do something lighthearted and fluffy next week.

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Haha, Tanya forgets to turn on her mic. Oh, the hijinks!

They forget that they have a format to uphold and go into things they’ve learned without actually introducing it, by recounting the weeks of sickness that has raged through the family, and specifically Tanya.

Things They Learned

Derek:

• He should just expect that Tanya gets some kind of horrible lung disease at the change of the seasons.
• Tanya made the most wonderful muffins and the secret recipe was random stuff in the fridge!
• Old-school VeggieTales actually holds up pretty well!

Tanya:

• Speaking at a conference is fun and she’s good at it! Also, confidence is not equal to pride.
• A lot of things that people think cause sickness actually don’t! Sugar, wet hair, being cold, etc.

🎉🎉 FIRST VOICEMAIL 🎉🎉

Jesse calls in asking what Derek and Tanya think about screen time for kids. They make excuses why they can’t answer that question right now. This, after practically begging people to give them questions via voicemail. sigh

If you want to leave a voicemail, do that here at settolearn.com/talk!

The Cult Thing

They FINALLY mosey their way into the thing that everybody clicked on this link to hear. 

Tanya talks about her experiences in her previous church and lays out the reasons why it’s a cult. If you're here just to hear that, you can go to the timestamp 21:11.

• The leader is the ultimate authority.
• The group suppresses skepticism.
• The group delegitimizes former members.
• The group is paranoid about the outside world.
• The group relies on shame cycles.
• The leader is above the law, and can do no wrong.

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So basically, these two, even though they put on a good face (really I'm not sure they do), they want you to be sure they don't know what they're doing. They're not bad at it, but they're stumbling through life just like you are!

Tanya gets a little salty about crunchy internet moms and talks about "herps" briefly (unrelated), but then they move promptly onto what they've learned!

Tanya:

• Emerson is already learning about consent via tickling
• How to communicate best with Rainee, about sin and redemption
• It's difficult to have someone do your job because they'll either do it better or worse than you, and both options feel weird

Derek:

• Emerson isn't really attached to nursing as much anymore! maybe...
• There's not gonna be color in the leaves this year 😢
• There is always hope for new technology
• All he wants in life is a cheesy 80s album about marriage and fidelity. (The album that got Derek on this rant, it's quite good: Head Over Heels by Chromeo

Then we quickly play an adorable clip of Rainee and her Aunt Elisa playing hide and seek.

For our main subject, we discuss a children's book called The Princess and the Kiss, a book about purity, and so starts a conversation about purity culture in general.

They forgot to mention it, but they still need voicemails. Talk to them about your thoughts on purity culture, you'll probably be in the next ep!

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We first get a cameo from Emerson, then Tanya introduces the first #parentinglow before we get into what they've learned.



Tanya’s learned:

• not to plan so many events in one month
• if you blow the unclogged nostril first, the clogged nostril releases so much more
• that as an adult, there is always something that you probably feel like you should be doing better, so be gracious to yourself
• that Rainee CAN initiate naps on her own 😂

Derek’s learned:

• where hurricanes come from
• there’s some sort of pivot thing from Friends that he doesn’t understand
• that ribs are pork, not beef
• that Numbers is not just a book-long census, but rather a fascinating travel log of the Israelites

Then there are two mini topics: one on teaching kids about danger, as well as a little taste of the way they do discipline with the very very small people.

Also. They still need voicemails, people. GIB TO THEMMMM

also something something Insta and Twitter but for reals, guys. VOICEMAILSSSS

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Head over to settolearn.com/talk to send us a voice message!

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Book → God Made All of Me

Head over to settolearn.com/talk to send us a voice message!

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By the way, we figured out a new way you can talk to us by literally, you know, talking to us! Head over to settolearn.com/talk to send us a voice message!

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If you have questions for us, use the hashtag #askSTL on Twitter or Instagram!

Links

Definition of rutschy

Ten Little Indians - turns out, definitely racist origins!

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Music Credits:
"Improbable" Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

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Music Credits:
"Improbable" Kevin MacLeod
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License