Stop Sabotaging Your Success

213 - Preparing In Advance For Tough Interactions

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 9 Apr 2026 08:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger tackles the reality of why avoiding difficult workplace interactions often makes things worse. She describes the familiar experience of conversations that make our stomachs drop, and our minds go blank, especially when dealing with colleagues who undermine or take credit for our work. Cindy explains that workplace bullying often shows up in subtle ways like interruptions, exclusion, and microaggressions, and it tends to continue when it is not addressed. She emphasizes that learning to confront these behaviors calmly and strategically, rather than ignoring them, is what shifts how others perceive and treat us.

She walks through the true cost of staying silent, from burnout and loss of credibility to becoming seen as someone who can be pushed around. Cindy outlines seven common behaviors that make these situations worse: 1. Apologizing excessively, 2. Overexplaining decisions, 3. Accepting microaggressive compliments, 4. Letting dismissive behavior slide, 5. Failing to document patterns of exclusion or bias, 6. Isolating instead of building alliances, and 7. Matching unprofessional behavior. Instead of suppressing emotions or ignoring the problem, she encourages a more strategic approach that focuses on choosing when to speak up and documenting patterns so that responses are intentional rather than reactive.

Cindy shares her framework for emotional rehearsal, a practical way to prepare for tough conversations in advance. She breaks it into four steps: 1. Recognize our triggers, 2. Examine the thought patterns underneath triggers, 3. Practice the conversation in advance, and 4. Use a mindfulness framework in the actual moment. Cindy reinforces that discomfort is not a sign that something is wrong, but a sign of growth. By preparing ahead of time, professionals can respond instead of react and build real confidence through action. The goal is not to control others, but to take ownership of our responses, boundaries, and professional presence.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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212 - Why Letting Go Is Your Secret Weapon

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 2 Apr 2026 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the instinct to hold onto everything and introduces the idea of strategically letting things fall through the cracks on purpose. She explains how many professionals, especially in technical fields, were rewarded early on for doing excellent work independently, only to find that the workplace values relationships and strategic positioning just as much. As a result, we double down on output, take on too much, and tie our worth to performance. Cindy highlights how this pattern leads to overwork, perfectionism, and taking on low-value tasks that do not move careers forward, all while reinforcing the belief that asking for help signals weakness.

Cindy outlines the real consequences of refusing to let go, including burnout and career stagnation, where individuals become indispensable in the wrong roles. She reframes “dropping the ball” as a leadership skill rooted in comparative advantage and strategic focus. Doing everything ourselves limits influence and prevents others from contributing or innovating. Instead of measuring success by how much gets done, she encourages focusing on the difference only we can make. Letting go creates space for higher-value work, strengthens relationships, and builds the visibility required for advancement.

Cindy shares seven practical strategies to apply this approach: 1. Get clear on what actually matters to us, 2. Build a strategic support network, 3. Master patience and allow others to step in, 4. Communicate with clarity, not content, 5. Increase our visibility and voices, 6. Protect our time for deep work, sleep, and exercise, and 7. Build credibility through follow-up. She closes by reinforcing that leadership is not about doing everything, but ensuring everything gets done, and that letting go is not failure but a necessary step toward growth and sustainable success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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211 - Your Future Is Not In Someone Else's Hands

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 26 Mar 2026 08:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger challenges the habit of treating a career like a group decision in this episode, emphasizing that outsourcing choices to managers, mentors, and colleagues is a subtle but powerful form of self-sabotage. She describes how high performers often fall into the trap of seeking permission, especially in environments where their instincts are questioned and their contributions go unrecognized. Over time, this creates self-doubt and disconnects them from their own goals. Cindy introduces the idea of the curse of competence, where being reliable and indispensable leads to invisibility rather than advancement, keeping capable professionals stuck and burned out.

She outlines five common beliefs that reinforce this pattern: 1. Needing more experience before acting, 2. Believing hard work alone will lead to recognition, 3. Thinking it is selfish to prioritize personal goals, 4. Feeling obligated to stay out of loyalty, and 5. Fearing that making a move will let others down. Cindy also highlights the personal and professional consequences of staying in this cycle, consequences that include resentment, loss of confidence, stagnation, and missed financial opportunities. She then shares seven red flags to watch for in the workplace, including credit being misattributed, potential without opportunity, selective mentorship, constantly shifting expectations, toxic positivity, double standards, and the importance of trusting one’s gut when something feels off.

Cindy explains that sometimes the most strategic move we can make is to walk away, and she explains several indicators that alert us when to leave. She also offers eight practical strategies to take back control: 1. Reconnect with our own goals through self-reflection, 2. Shift our language from seeking permission to announcing decisions, 3. Build our own personal advisory boards, 4. Take ownership of our visibility, 5. Practice choosing ourselves without guilt, 6. Reframe the curse of competence as a launch pad instead of a trap, 7. Embrace what we can control and release what we can’t, and 8. Create clear decision-making criteria for ourselves. Her message is direct and practical. A career is not a committee decision, and waiting for permission will only delay progress.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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210 - How to Receive Feedback Without Spiralling

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 19 Mar 2026 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses why receiving feedback can feel so emotionally overwhelming and how it can quietly derail careers if left unchecked. She describes the common experience of replaying performance reviews long after they happen, questioning our abilities, and letting a single piece of criticism overshadow everything else. Cindy focuses on how feedback often triggers imposter syndrome, especially in environments where scrutiny already feels high, and why learning to process criticism effectively is essential for building a resilient and successful career.

Cindy explains that our reactions to feedback are deeply connected to how our brains process perceived threats. Because of the brain’s negativity bias, criticism can trigger a stress response that makes us defensive, emotional, or stuck replaying the conversation. She also highlights three red flags to watch for when receiving feedback, helping us recognize when criticism is useful and when it may simply be noise: 1. Distinguish between vague personal attacks and specific behavior-based feedback, 2. Pay attention to timing and setting, and 3. Notice when we start adding our own story.

To help us manage feedback more effectively, Cindy shares eight practical strategies for handling criticism without spiraling and instead turning it into useful information: 1. Pause before reacting to interrupt the emotional response, 2. Develop a feedback filter, 3. Seek clarification when feedback is vague or unclear, 4. Reframe the story we’re telling ourselves about the feedback, 5. Look for patterns over time, 6. Respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively, 7. Practice gratitude for the information, and 8. Restate and paraphrase the feedback to confirm understanding. By approaching criticism with curiosity and intention, Cindy reminds us that feedback doesn’t have to become a spiral of self-doubt. Instead, it can become a powerful tool for growth, self-awareness, and building the career we truly want.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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209 - When Loyalty Becomes a Liability

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy explores the difficult but important truth that sometimes professional relationships that appear supportive are actually holding us back. She discusses how loyalty, especially in competitive or male-dominated industries, can quietly become a trap. As professionals, we pride ourselves on being dependable team players, but over time, that loyalty can keep us stuck in roles or environments that no longer align with who we’ve become. Instead of encouragement, we may receive concern or subtle pressure that discourages us from growing or taking risks, and keeps the status quo intact.

Cindy unpacks how manipulation can hide behind mentorship or investment in someone’s success. When colleagues or mentors question our loyalty for considering new opportunities or frame our ambitions as risky or unrealistic, it can create self-doubt and hesitation. Cindy describes four real consequences of staying loyal and not making changes for ourselves: 1. Slow burn of resentment, 2. Erosion of self-trust, 3. Missing opportunities, and 4. Ending up in a state of high-functioning misery.

Cindy discusses how to recognize when loyalty has crossed the line into liability and what we can do about it. She outlines key warning signs in professional relationships, offers strategies for setting boundaries around advice, and highlights ways to make career decisions based on alignment rather than guilt. Cindy emphasizes that growth often requires difficult conversations and the courage to choose a path others may not understand. Letting go of relationships that keep us playing small isn’t about ingratitude; it’s about honoring personal growth and trusting the ability to move forward.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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208 - You Need Challengers Not Just Cheerleaders

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 5 Mar 2026 09:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger challenges the conventional advice that building a strong support network is essential for career success. While cheerleaders who validate our experiences and celebrate our wins are important, they can also unintentionally keep us stuck. When everyone around us agrees with our perspective, we risk creating an echo chamber, one that reinforces our frustrations without pushing us to try new strategies. Being “right” about workplace bias or systemic challenges doesn’t automatically move us closer to goals if our approach isn’t evolving.

Cindy introduces the concept of a Challenge Network, a small group of thoughtful, invested people who care enough about our success to question our assumptions and expose blind spots. These are not critics who tear us down, but strategic thinkers who stretch perspectives. She outlines six practical steps to build and use this kind of network effectively: 1. Think like a scientist, 2. Assemble a challenge network intentionally, 3. Create distance from our own thinking, 4. Know when to rethink and when to commit, 5. Manage the identity shift, 6. Use feedback without becoming a people pleaser.

Ultimately, Cindy reframes confidence not as certainty in what we already know, but as confidence in our ability to learn. In male-dominated or complex workplaces, cognitive flexibility becomes a competitive advantage. The professionals who advance aren’t just talented, they’re willing to rethink their strategies when the evidence demands it. If we want to stop sabotaging our success, it may be time to surround ourselves with people who challenge us to grow, not just those who applaud us for staying the same.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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207 - Adapt or Get Left Behind

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 26 Feb 2026 09:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores why adaptation is no longer optional in today’s workplace. Often, we double down on working harder, believing our results will eventually speak for themselves. Instead, we become boxed into narrow specialties while others move ahead into broader, more visible roles. Cindy explains how staying the same can quietly become the bigger risk, especially as industries evolve and organizations reward flexibility over loyalty to the status quo.

Cindy unpacks the hidden beliefs that keep us stuck, including the idea that it is too late to change or that permission must come from a boss or colleague. She explains that the costs of waiting are being pigeonholed and overlooked, or bored and undervalued. Rather than complaining or waiting for validation, she challenges us to take ownership of our growth and stop sacrificing our evolution to keep others comfortable.

Adaptive thinking is a learnable skill that can transform a career. Adaptive thinkers stay curious and revise their opinions when new information emerges; they’re able to take action before they feel fully ready. Cindy shares practical ways to build this mindset, from asking better questions to embracing discomfort as part of growth. The message is clear. We are not stuck. We have agency. The real question is whether we are willing to adapt and take the first step toward the careers we actually want.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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206 - Thriving When You're The Only One

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 19 Feb 2026 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger dives into what it’s like being the only woman in a room full of men, and the unique challenges that present to our careers. When there’s no other woman, it creates a kind of professional loneliness that’s hard to explain. But worse, with nobody like us to gauge our progress against, compare notes with, and validate our experiences, we end up isolated and self-doubting. Cindy gets into how to celebrate our own progress even when we have nobody to reflect it back to us, and why creating a community outside our work is a necessity for success.

Being the only woman, or one of very few, in a workplace often means our feedback ranges from vague to contradictory. We’re told we’re doing great, but aren’t promoted. We’re told to speak up, but when we do, we’re labeled aggressive. Without a support system to validate these experiences and help us remember our strengths, we second-guess ourselves and miss out on opportunities for growth. Cindy explores what validation really means and how to get it for ourselves when we’re alone in an organization.

There are ways to make things easier on ourselves, to focus on what we can control and define our own success. Cindy outlines them in five points: 1. Find and create community outside our organization, 2. Turn vague feedback into a growth opportunity, 3. Create our own developmental roadmap, 4. Recenter ourselves with personal metrics for success, 5. Learn from others without diminishing ourselves, 6. Build resilience by focusing on becoming stronger, and 7. Consistent actions build momentum. We have the power to define success on our own terms and make our own growth opportunities even when we’re alone.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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205 - You Don't Notice Your Growth Until Someone Points It Out

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 12 Feb 2026 07:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the reality that we often fail to recognize our own growth and why that matters to our careers. Our brains are wired to overlook wins, and Cindy explores why this is, as well as what cognitive biases are eroding our confidence. When we can’t see our own progress, we tend to focus on our perceived failures and don’t hold onto praise as long as we hold onto negativity. Why this impacts our careers and what strategies we can use to retrain our brains to notice our growth are the key things Cindy shares in this episode.

If we can’t see how much we grow, we lose faith in our own ability to take the next big step in our careers. Cindy outlines five big consequences of being blind to our progress: 1. Erosion of self-trust, 2. Being stuck in imposter syndrome, 3. Setting ourselves up for burnout and resentment, 4. Missing opportunities, and 5. Damaging our professional reputation. There is a real cost that we need to avoid by breaking the cycle of downplaying our achievements and missing our own development. Cindy shares what to look for in ourselves to identify our need to pause and take stock.

Simply identifying that we dismiss praise and compliments is not enough, however. We need to take actionable steps to retrain our brains so we can build self-trust and accept our own achievements. The practical strategies Cindy advises are: 1. Keep a progress file or brag folder, 2. Set up quarterly check-ins on our past selves versus our present selves, 3. Practice evidence-based self-talk, 4. Celebrate small wins in real time, and 5. Reframe ‘not enough’ as ‘not yet’. We’ve come farther than we think, and Cindy wants us to build up the habit of owning our accomplishments.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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204 - One Chance to Make a First Impression

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 5 Feb 2026 07:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger unpacks the reality about first impressions and how they can quietly make or break a professional trajectory at work. While we tell ourselves that what’s on the inside is what matters, the uncomfortable truth about first impressions can’t be ignored. In a work setting, the way we carry ourselves, our posture, expression, and even choice of clothing can all determine how seriously we are taken. Cindy explores the subtle cues we may send without realizing it, the consequences of neglecting our professional presence, and shares strategies for taking back control without acting.

It’s simply a fact that it takes less than 30 seconds for people to form opinions about us based solely on a first glance. That’s not enough time to say hello or learn anything about us. So neglecting how we present ourselves can have long-term consequences. Cindy outlines five of those consequences when we ignore how we are perceived: 1. We get underestimated, 2. We get overlooked, 3. We get misunderstood, 4. We send mixed signals, and 5. We miss our chance to connect if we’re closed off.

Everything from our posture and facial expressions contributes to first impressions. Body language is a key part of communication. We want to be authentic, but aware of how we are seen. Do we fidget? Avoid eye contact? Dress to hide? Cindy shares five strategies for refining our presence: 1. Start with one small change, 2. Let our clothes work for us, not against us, 3. Use eye contact, posture, and a smile as tools, 4. Use our hands with purpose, and 5. Don’t perform confidence, build it.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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203 - Always Ready For a Fight

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 29 Jan 2026 09:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses defensiveness at work, that tendency that some of us have to walk into work already braced for a fight. We assume criticism is coming even when it isn’t and tend to perceive questions directed at us as personal attacks. We probably don’t even realize we’re doing it. Cindy breaks down why we assume a defensive posture and how to identify those patterns, and she shows what it looks like to shift from reacting to responding. Ultimately, self-awareness is a much more powerful tool than justifying and deflecting.

Heading into work on the defensive isn’t a case of everything being wrong at all times, but it is often a learned behavior. We’re always bracing ourselves for criticism as a survival strategy. But it’s mentally exhausting and can be a career liability. Cindy describes five common risks we encounter when our default is defensiveness: 1. Damaged relationships, 2. Missed learning opportunities, 3. Reinforcing negative perceptions and stereotypes of women in male-dominated spaces, 4. Emotional overload, and 5. Stalled career progress.

Cindy explains that shifting from defensive reacting to actual responding can take time, and we often mistake compliance for commitment. Compliance means doing what we’re told just because we have to. Many of us fear that. But commitment means doing things because we believe in them. That’s our goal. Cindy offers five practical ways to help us shift out of defensive mode: 1. Before any high-stakes conversation, breathe, 2. Ask reflective questions in real time, 3. Create a pause buffer between emotion and reaction, 4. Name the emotion, and 5. Choose curiosity over certainty. It’s time to lay down our armor and be intentional about our presence at work.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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202 - What It's Really Like to Work With You

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 22 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses the difference between being good at our jobs and being easy to work with in this episode. Self-awareness is the key to career growth, and it’s not just about knowing our strengths or how we like to work. It’s about understanding how our behavior impacts others and how we’re perceived. Cindy breaks down exactly what true self-awareness looks like and why it matters more than ever. The value of accepting feedback and being easy to work with are things many of us underestimate, but which will open more doors in the long run.

There are two types of people in the world: those who think they’re self-aware and those who actually are. Those who only think they are tend not to have any idea of the impact of their actions on others. Behavior blindness is real. Cindy outlines five unpleasant consequences of not paying attention to what it’s like to work with ourselves: 1. Stalled career growth, 2. Damaged relationships, 3. Lack of critical feedback, 4. Reputational damage, and 5. Missed opportunities. If we want people to want to work with us, we have to make it a painless experience.

Being easy to work with involves following instructions, being on time, and not making things harder than they should be. External self-awareness, knowing how we’re perceived, is just as important as internal self-awareness and knowing ourselves. Cindy shares five strategies to make self-awareness easier to build: 1. Compare perceptions with actual outcomes, 2. Ask for feedback early and often, 3. Be coachable, 4. Challenge our assumptions, and 5. Practice perspective-taking. We have the power to build reputations that open doors and make people want to work with us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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201 - But Will You Still Have Regrets?

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 15 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger explores regret, the unpleasant emotion we’d rather forget about that can actually help us grow and gain clarity. Regret isn’t a sign that something is wrong with us; it’s actually a sign that things matter to us. It alerts us to something that didn’t align or that still needs our attention. So if we learn to acknowledge regret, it can be a catalyst for transformation. Cindy offers insight into defining, understanding, and dealing with regret so it can become a useful tool in career advancement.

Regret tends to be quite uncomfortable, so we avoid revisiting it. However, there are consequences to not reckoning with our regret, and Cindy identifies four of them: 1. Career stagnation, 2. Chronic dissatisfaction, 3. Low self-trust, and 4. People-pleasing paralysis. Cindy points out that when we dare to examine our regrets, we can turn them into strategic fuel for career growth. She names three ways we can start: 1. Reflect on past regrets, 2. Anticipate potential future regrets before making a decision, and 3. Recognize the lessons in our regrets.

Author Dan Pink identifies four kinds of regrets: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets. Understanding these can help us realize that regret does not necessarily point to something done wrong, but rather that something was challenging or we were at a crossroads. Cindy shares five powerful ways to harness the value of regret without getting stuck in it: 1. Use the future self test, 2. Sort the decisions that actually matter, 3. Reframe mistakes as data points, 4. Set our own bar, and 5. Practice self-compassion. The goal is to work with our regrets instead of against them.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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200 - You Deserve Better Than This

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 8 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger puts the spotlight on people-pleasing and conflict avoidance in the workplace, exploring how to stop playing small to please others. If we don’t define what we want from our careers, others decide what we deserve, and we end up settling for that. We deserve better, though, and Cindy explains the cost of staying silent about our needs. She offers ways to shift from reacting to responding, how to set boundaries without guilt, and how to communicate assertively.

There is a cost to simply going with the flow and refusing to make waves. Being easygoing isn’t a strength in every situation. We need to set our own boundaries and make our needs heard. Cindy outlines five of the most common consequences of not doing this: 1. Chronic resentment, 2. Identity stagnation, 3. Invisible contributions, 4. Doing great work just earns more work, and 5. Muddled communication. We’re conditioned to think that accommodating others makes us better colleagues, but what it actually does is teach others that our time and energy are up for negotiation.

If we’re feeling obliged to say yes, saying sure and rearranging our schedules, waiting to be recognized without advocating for ourselves, thinking our needs and wants are too much, or thinking people should just know what we need, then we’re already in the trap of people-pleasing and letting others decide our path. Cindy shares five strategies on how to ask for more without burning bridges in the process: 1. Shift from reacting to responding, 2. Name what we actually want, 3. Communicate clearly, 4. Set boundaries and stick to them, and 5. Repair, don’t resent. The key to change isn’t becoming louder or more aggressive; it’s in becoming more intentional.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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199 - More Than You've Ever Imagined

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 1 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger confronts self-doubt and explores what it takes to counteract it in our careers. Self-doubt shows up quietly, like a persistent undercurrent, and if we’re not careful it will chip away at our confidence while feeling logical. How do we reshape our response to self-doubt? Cindy discusses how a subtle but powerful mindset shift can lead to the kind of career growth we didn’t let ourselves believe was possible. Believing in ourselves is choosing to build the version of our career that we really want to experience.

When self-doubt takes hold of us, it appears as a slippery, sneaky voice that whispers we’re not ready or not qualified, and left unchecked, that limits our career growth. It convinces us to stay in our lane and keep quiet. There are systemic inequities at play and performance pressure that contributes to this doubt. But we sometimes can’t identify that it’s happening. So Cindy points out the five most common red flags that self-doubt may be showing up: 1. Waiting to be picked, 2. Discounting praise or deflecting credit, 3. Over-apologizing or hedging our ideas, 4. Passing on opportunities, and 5. Mentally beating ourselves up for not being perfect.

Cindy immediately counters these red flags with five effective strategies for combatting self-doubt: 1. Reframe failure as growth, 2. Get out of our head and into motion, 3. Focus on one brave action at a time, 4. Shape our mindset to be more encouraging, and 5. Practice a little positivity. Cynicism often feels safer because it protects us from disappointment, but Cindy urges us to believe in ourselves instead. After all, what do we have to lose? Countering self-doubt is about choosing to take action even when we don’t yet feel confident.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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198 - Step Back From the Brink of Burnout

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 25 Dec 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger unpacks what burnout really looks like when we’re still functioning at a high level. Burnout doesn’t happen all at once; it sneaks in quietly. On the outside, everything looks fine, except it isn’t fine. The joy is gone, the spark isn’t there, and we’re barely holding it together. Cindy explains how to recognize the early warning signs of burnout, what the long-term personal and professional consequences can be, and how to step back from the brink of burnout. She wants us to reclaim control, protect our well-being, and build a version of success that doesn’t require continued self-sacrifice.

True burnout shows up as us continuing to do the job we’re paid to do until we simply can’t. We become completely physically and emotionally depleted, develop a detached and cynical attitude towards everything, and we desperately try to hide how ineffective we feel. We miss the signs of burnout until we finally realize we’re ready to collapse. Cindy draws on her personal experience with burnout to explain how it shows up incrementally, worms into every aspect of work, takes us down, and how the road to recovery is a very long journey.

The consequences of burnout are real, and Cindy points out five of the most common outcomes: 1. High-functioning depression, 2. Cognitive decline, 3. Damaged reputation, 4. Isolation and shame, and 5. Erosion of self-worth. There are strategies we can set in place to help avoid burnout, and Cindy identifies several. Overall, however, we may need to take stock of whether or not we’re in a toxic work environment or a career that simply doesn’t align with our values. Burnout recovery is possible, and we can choose to protect our well-being and success. Cindy is here to guide us through.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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197 - Striving For Perfection

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 18 Dec 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses perfectionism and why the drive to be perfect quietly sabotages us, fuelling procrastination and self-doubt. The pursuit of flawlessness seems like a noble quest, but it proves to be a cleverly disguised trap that delays progress and increases our stress. What is the alternative to perfectionism? Cindy explains that sustainable excellence is what we should strive for over perfection. It’s a balance of ambition with self-compassion that protects our mental health and rebuilds confidence.

Perfectionism becomes a loop that urges us to set impossibly high standards, feel anxious about meeting those standards, avoid the task due to the pressure we created, finally get the task done in a panic, and then, exhausted, still believe we could have done better. Flawlessness is damaging and drives us to constantly outdo ourselves. Cindy points out five ways in which perfectionism messes with our performance, well-being, and career growth: 1. Expectation, escalation, and burnout, 2. Mental health fallout, 3. Inconsistent performance, 4. Refusal to delegate, and 5. Plateaued growth.

Cindy advises that we shift our energy from being perfect to being more strategic. She explains intentional imperfection and how it involves choosing where to be excellent and where to be average on purpose. She offers five strategies for moving away from the perfectionism trap: 1. Use time, not outcome, to set boundaries, 2. Get honest about the trade-offs, 3. Practice planned procrastination, 4. Recalibrate what enough means, and 5. Intentionally choose where to excel. It’s okay to want to be great, but greatness doesn’t come from being perfect. It comes from showing up consistently and learning through missteps.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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196 - What's The Worst That Could Happen?

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the pattern of catastrophizing that keeps us stuck in inaction and blocks career opportunities before we even give ourselves a chance to succeed. Catastrophizing - the anxious thought patterns that only allow us to imagine the worst-case outcome of any situation - is an exhausting form of self-sabotage that is keeping us stuck in place. But it can be disrupted, and Cindy breaks down how to identify when we’re engaging in catastrophizing, and how we can learn to challenge those thoughts before they drag us down.

What does catastrophizing look like? Cindy identifies the five most common cognitive distortions that feed our spiraling: 1. Catastrophizing, 2. Magnification, 3. All or nothing thinking, 4. Overgeneralization, and 5. Blaming. These distortions keep us locked in a loop of stress and stalled momentum. How do we know if we’re falling into these patterns? Cindy offers five red flags to watch for: 1. Avoiding new opportunities, 2. Overpreparing or aiming for perfection, 3. Reacting emotionally to changes, 4. Looping negative thoughts, and 5. Discounting our wins.

Catastrophizing is anticipating the worst that could happen without ever considering a neutral or even positive outcome. We need to learn to break the cycle. Cindy suggests practical strategies like a thought audit, reframing the situation, experimenting with action, and tracking our growth. Negative thought patterns don’t make us weak; they make us human. But they are survival strategies that have overstayed their welcome. We may not consciously choose to spiral, but we can consciously choose to overcome catastrophizing with Cindy’s guidance.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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195 - We Are Not All Meant To Manage People

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 4 Dec 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the myth that managing people is the only way up the career ladder. We’re often told that stepping up into management is the only way to advance in our workplace, but shoving people into management roles unprepared can come with devastating fallout. Both the managers and employees find that the move exacts a painful toll. Cindy explains why it’s critical to rethink how careers can grow and employees can advance beyond people management. Leadership and success do not have to be synonymous with managing people.

Managing people requires a very different set of skills than most people imagine. Cindy breaks down four of the key things managers are responsible for: 1. Morale, 2. Performance, 3. Retention, and 4. Culture. As Cindy notes, “a great manager is in the trenches with their people, shaping how employees experience the workplace”, and not everyone is cut out to do this. We’ve all had bad managers, and they may have been people promoted into management positions without preparation, told that it was the only way to advance.

If we do end up in a management role, Cindy offers six strategies to add to our toolkits: 1. Have people create informal personal operating manuals, 2. Ask the right question, 3. Balance, 4. Practice presence and curiosity, 5. Brush up on conflict resolution and stress management skills, and 6. Set and enforce boundaries. But if we aren’t ready for managing people, Cindy urges us to ask where we can thrive and how we can make the biggest difference on an alternate path. Roles like Principal Engineer, Distinguished Scientist, and Senior Strategist are designed for those who want to deepen impact without taking on direct reports. The goal isn’t just climbing higher, it’s building the career we actually want.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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194 - How Are You Doing, Really

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 27 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores why answering the question ‘how are you?’ with the knee-jerk answer of ‘fine’ is holding us back. It’s a reflex to deflect attention away from ourselves, but there’s a hidden cost that keeps us invisible. Cindy lays out why learning to answer honestly can transform not just our relationships but our professional opportunities. She guides us through how to speak up, track our own progress without comparison, and build stronger connections for visibility and recognition.

Deflecting attention from ourselves by answering ‘fine’ opens us up to the listener role in which we hide ourselves and take on whatever others want to say. That unconsciously tells others that our contributions don’t warrant recognition, and over time, it limits our careers. How do we know if this is happening to us? Cindy outlines three things to watch for: 1. We’re always in the listener role, 2. Our colleagues never reciprocate curiosity and can’t be bothered to ask ‘what about you?’, and 3. Balancing privacy with openness.

How do we learn to open up while still protecting our personal lives, then? Cindy has three practical strategies to try: 1. Share small, intentional pieces of ourselves, 2. Test the waters, and 3. Use curiosity as a two-way street. Another thing that keeps us from deserved recognition is only ever asking others how we’re doing and not measuring our progress on our own. We need to build our own honest scorecard so that our sense of worth is not at the discretion of others. Cindy shares how answering honestly and learning not to deflect attention away from ourselves will create the confidence and visibility we need to move forward.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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193 - You Will Have To Work With Them

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 20 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the necessity of learning how to collaborate effectively with coworkers. We need to learn how agreeable we need to be in the workplace and understand how to adjust that for circumstances: turning it up to build social capital or down to establish boundaries. When difficult personalities cross the line, Cindy advises us on how to stay professional and reset boundaries. There will always be people we need to work with; this episode establishes how to do that smoothly.

People comprise parts of our team, our department, or client structure. We need to work with them professionally while also maintaining our sanity. The complexity of interpersonal relationships can make this tricky, but Cindy offers some tips on how to establish goodwill with deliberate small moves. This signals partnership without adding too much to our workloads. In the case of truly difficult coworkers, Cindy discusses maintaining professionalism without being a doormat or burning bridges in anger.

What kind of agreeableness suits the moment? We want to avoid the two extremes of being a people pleaser or an antagonist. Firm boundaries can help us stop the self-betrayal of people pleasing and taking on more work than we have time for. Professional pushback is not defiance, but a realistic assessment of what can truly be done in a situation. Cindy’s advice is to avoid indulging in revenge fantasies and de-escalate emotional situations with body adjustments, slow breaths, and achieving calm before choosing a professional action to take. Learning to work with people is often about self-regulation and quiet confidence as we navigate how agreeable to be.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Guide to Working with Coworkers You Didn't Choose
Astronomic Audio
Confidence Collective
“Managing Up” by Melody Wilding

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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192 - Combating Emotional Numbness

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 13 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses emotional numbness: that lack of joy and quiet disconnection from the person we once were. It often begins as a way to cope with deadlines, expectations, and the constant pressure to prove ourselves. Then staying busy becomes an acceptable way to avoid feeling our feelings. We’re polished on the outside, numb on the inside. How exactly does it show up, and why are high-achieving women especially prone to it? Cindy explores the origins of this numbness and what it means for our futures when feeling nothing starts to feel normal.

When we arrive at emotional numbness, everything just feels flat. Nothing shakes us out of the emotional flatlining: not the hobbies we love or even the vacation we’ve been planning. It’s like we decided just to function and remove feelinCindy Esliger, career coach, sabotage, success, career coaching, career journey, emotional numbness, high-achieving women, coping mechanisms, career burnout, emotional disconnection, female leadership, emotional intelligence, workplace stress, mental health at work, nervous system response, signs of emotional numbing, emotional literacy tips, breaking toxic productivity, boundary setting for career women, addressing emotional fatigueg from the process. We’re not happy, not sad, not annoyed; we simply exist. Cindy unpacks why this happens. From not being taught how to deal with our feelings to equating strength with stoicism, there are many reasons we slip into disconnection.

Cindy points out four common myths that keep us stuck in emotional numbness: 1. I shouldn’t feel like this, 2. I just need to stay positive, 3. Showing emotion is a weakness, and 4. Other people make me feel this way. Pretending we’re fine is not the same as being fine. The first thing Cindy points out is that we need to understand what emotions are actually for. She outlines what emotional literacy is and offers advice on how to reconnect to what we’re actually feeling so we can experience our emotions, instead of burying them.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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191 - Managing Stress Without Losing Your Spark

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 6 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger asks ‘What if work could actually be fun?’ She’s talking about finding room satisfaction, creativity, and fun in our careers instead of simply viewing work as an endless, stressful grind keeping us from the weekend. When we make work more enjoyable and better suited to us, we reduce our stress, protect our spark, and perform better as well. It may sound like a radical mindset shift, but Cindy walks us through exactly how to approach it.

If all we’re doing at work each week is just trying to make it to Friday, or to retirement, we’re basically postponing our lives. There’s more to work than just surviving it. There is room for joy to help offset the stress we’re under. Cindy describes exactly what stress does to our body, a physical stress response, and our feelings, an emotional stress response, and then offers us four ways to interrupt the stress spiral before it takes over: 1. Close our eyes and reopen them slowly, 2. Yawn on purpose, 3. Move our bodies, and 4. Label what’s happening.

There are a hundred little ways to inject personal satisfaction or creativity into our tasks at work. Where can we find moments of joy? Cindy shares three tiny joy experiments to test what brings more lightness to our day: 1. Work with people we like, 2. Tweak a task to reflect our creativity or skills, and 3. Insert our perspective into a process. We need to find ways to better manage our stress and resent our jobs less. Cindy assures us that we are allowed to find our spark again and inject it into our careers; in fact, we should.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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190 - Bring Clarity To Chaos

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 30 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses what she calls ‘work albatrosses’, the hidden burdens that steal our time and focus and derail our long-term goals. It’s tempting to always say yes, but the more we do, the more we become an albatross. She explores how to identify the early warning signs and subtle red flags that show up before the burdens become our problems. She identifies what an energy vampire looks like and shines a light on how to avoid the work albatross, protect our energy, and realign our work with what actually fuels us.

We often take on these work albatrosses out of a sense of obligation, guilt, or fear. While they’re presented as a way to demonstrate our leadership, instead, they’re more like career quicksand. Cindy cautions us that in order to bring clarity to chaos, we need to get brutally honest about what’s actually on our plate and what shouldn’t be. What does an albatross feel like? That project that makes our anxiety surge and causes success to feel like punishment, all while siphoning off our best energy and attention.

Cindy identifies four common warning signs when it comes to identifying an albatross: 1. Lack of clear ownership, 2. Avoidant behavior from others, 3. We’re the only ones excited, or not, and 4. A vague sense of dread. In order to set a boundary and renegotiate our role in these situations, difficult conversations may be required. Cindy offers four tips for having a respectful conversation: 1. Get right to the point, 2. Clearly state the desired outcome, 3. Mind our tone, and 4. Keep it clear. We can control how much chaos we internalize and what burdens we shoulder. Cindy guides us through navigating overwhelm and protecting our energy at work.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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189 - Rest, Recharge and Reset

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 23 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger challenges the mindset that the need to rest, recharge, and reset is an indulgence: it is a necessity. Constant burnout and chronic stress are not normal. We can’t sustain staying in survival mode forever. So how do we recognize the signs of being on the brink of a crash? How do we break the burnout cycle? Cindy defines what we should feel like when rested and explains how to stop seeing exhaustion as a badge of honor. It’s time to abandon chronic stress for a healthy reset.

Rest and reset, as defined by Cindy, is not just booking a beach vacation. It’s about resetting our nervous system so we’re not constantly running on fumes. And it means viewing rest not as something earned after being productive, but as a necessary function of success. She outlines three common triggers that keep us locked in survival mode: 1. Scarcity of recognition, 2. Unequal workloads, and 3. The ‘do more with less’ culture.

Cindy identifies five common warning signs of being forever on the brink of burnout: 1. Constant exhaustion, 2. Everything feels overwhelming 3. Emotional reactivity, 4. Joy feels like a distant concept, and 5. Forgetfulness and brain fog. Why do all those things feel normal in our lives right now? They’re not. Rest is not a reward for productivity; it’s a biological necessity. Cindy asks us to identify the kind of rest we need: 1. Physical rest, 2. Emotional rest, 3. Creative rest, 4. Social rest, or 5. Sensory rest. When we can identify that, we can follow her guide to restoration and reset.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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188 - Who Do You Think You Are

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 16 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores identity, not the curated professional version of ourselves, but the real and evolving true version of ourselves. We often get shaped by outdated assumptions and everything we’ve been praised for or paid to do, and we end up losing sight of what we actually want and who we genuinely want to become. Self-awareness is something we give lip service to but require more of to assess where we are in our careers.. Cindy offers advice on how to get curious about ourselves and realign our goals to match our values and authentic selves.

Identity is not a job title or role. That’s the curated professional identity we’re told to maintain for success. But who are we underneath that polish? What are our motivations, tendencies, and personality traits? Knowing who we truly are allows us to make career decisions from a place of clarity. Cindy assures us that transition is allowed to be uncomfortable. We don’t need a fully developed five-year plan, just a curiosity about our true identities.

Growth involves discomfort, and identity shifts don’t come with an instruction manual. That’s fine, we’re allowed to evolve and change direction. Cindy explains the three levers of career decisions, which are maximizing income, maximizing impact, and maximizing flexibility. We’re all aiming to pull the levers, but we can rarely pull all three at the same time. And that’s fine. Cindy points out that we’re all works in progress, requiring self-awareness to become who we want to be.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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187 - Are You Playing The Victim Or The Villain?

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 9 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses how workplace drama casts us in the role of victim, villain, or rescuer. Sometimes we stick to one role, but usually we bounce between all three. We tend to think other people are guilty of being a victim or a villain or even a rescuer, but at one point or another, we’re all in one of the roles. Cindy examines how the roles show up and what we can do to change the patterns that lead us to play roles at all.

At the core of each role is a basic truth. The victim usually feels overlooked, the villain often paints other people as being the problem, and the rescuer likes control and reinforces the victim’s helplessness while calling the villain irredeemable. The trio of roles tends to self-reinforce, and we get caught in a triangle of drama. Cindy names self-awareness as the first step in breaking free before she details other steps we can take to stop the trio.

Each role allows us to receive certain perks that help reinforce our place in it. What’s the price we’re paying for these hidden payoffs, though? Cindy points out that we can step out of any of the roles at any time. Ask ourselves what role we’re in. Then ask what we’re really looking for that the role appears to give us. Cindy guides us through how to empower ourselves outside of each role so we can leave the stress of the drama triangle behind.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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186 - It Must Be Nice

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 2 Oct 2025 08:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger breaks down all the meanings behind the deceptively innocent phrase “It must be nice”. We were taught not to say certain things aloud, so often this little phrase gets used as a passive-aggressive dig or expression of envy. Cindy lays out all the things really being said when people say “It must be nice”, from discomfort to unmet needs to jealousy, and offers advice on how to deal with hearing it and saying it. It’s time to learn more honest, respectful ways of communicating with each other.

The four little words “It must be nice” can convey a lot of hidden messages. Cindy details eight possible meanings that could be inferred from the phrase: 1. Masked envy, 2. Suppressed resentment or perceived unfairness, 3. Unspoken guilt or shame, 4. Fear of hope or disappointment, 5. Policing joy or success, 6. Social comparison and status signaling, 7. Emotional distancing or conversational filler, and 8. A subtle invitation to show someone what’s possible. How we respond to any of these intentions will set the tone of the interaction.

We don’t just hear those words, though. We also say them. “It must be nice.” What do we mean by that? Cindy offers four honest assessments of what might really be underneath the words: 1. It’s a defense mechanism, 2. It’s a coping mechanism, 3. It’s a cry for acknowledgement, or 4. It’s a way to express pain without vulnerability. Once we can identify what we really mean, we can use Cindy’s guide to self-assessment and how to reframe our communication into something more useful and open.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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185 - Dare To Be More

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 25 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores how we can dare to be more at work and avoid slipping into the conformity we think is expected. We’re conditioned to believe we need to keep our heads down, fit in, and work longer and harder than anyone else in order to succeed. But we were hired because of something unique that we brought to the company. Cindy dives into how we can reclaim the parts of ourselves that we’ve been hiding for a more authentic and rewarding work experience.

Constant hustle and overachieving without acknowledgement doesn’t always lead to feeling more fulfilled. Especially not if we’re stifling our creativity and actual personality in order to do so. Instead of blending in so we appear more palatable, Cindy encourages us to start daring to be more with small steps. Perhaps we say what we’re actually thinking or the ideas we truly have in a meeting. Perhaps we use our natural humor to liven things up when people’s attention is waning. Start small. And keep going.

Work can still feel energizing and challenging the way it did in the beginning if we don’t allow ourselves to be dulled by performative norms and the exhausting pressure to be proper and polished at all costs. We do it to belong, but Cindy suggests that belonging isn’t blending in. Belonging is about being seen as who we are and still being accepted. She shares advice on reframing how we show up at work and offers small steps we can take to facilitate our journey towards daring to be more.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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184 - Is It Dangerous To Hope Things Will Get Better

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 18 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about hope. Hope is complicated. It keeps us going, but it can also sometimes feel dangerous. Hope spurs us onward when we meet resistance, but it also opens the door to disappointment, so we learn not to expect too much. Cindy counters this by asking what if hope isn’t some fragile emotion that leaves us vulnerable, but instead is a fierce and necessary force that drives us to act with clarity? She examines how to embrace hope not as a risk but as a strategy, and offers us tips on how to make hope work for us.

Feeling hopeful can feel risky when we are frequently denied what we want. But giving up hope feels even worse. Daring to hope says that we believe there’s more out there and that we’re going to find it. It’s not naive, it's grounded in action. Cindy describes how we can maintain an open mind about what might be attainable, and why we need to stop confusing passive wishing with purposeful hope. The psychological force called negativity bias was once a survival skill, but now it just keeps us focused on what’s wrong. Cindy talks about how to combat that.

The good news is we can retrain our brains. Cindy offers three simple questions for us to answer nightly that will help us break away from fear and worst-case scenarios. 1. What is one good thing we can appreciate about today? 2. What are we hopeful about for tomorrow or the future? And 3. What inner strength did we demonstrate today? Cindy emphasizes that it’s okay to want more than what we currently have and shows us how hope allows us to advocate for ourselves with confidence.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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183 - What You Do When Things Go Wrong

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 11 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger looks at a better way we can choose to respond when things go wrong. We tend to spin out in overthinking or tighten our grip on control when setbacks happen at work, but neither of those responses leads to meaningful progress. Cindy suggests focusing on what’s actually within our control by reclaiming our power. It’s not about pretending everything is fine; it’s about learning to move forward with clarity by reframing setbacks as opportunities for growth.

How we respond to setbacks can reinforce our frustration and self-doubt if we allow ourselves to overthink on overdrive or slip into control freak mode. But when things start falling apart, we need to ask what is actually within our control. Reframing our thinking involves understanding positional power and personal power. Cindy explains that positional power is the power that our workplace controls. It can evaporate. Personal power, on the other hand, comes from within and doesn’t require anyone else’s permission. Personal power allows us to respond thoughtfully instead of with a knee-jerk reaction.

Cindy offers insight into the psychology of control, specifically the locus of control, which is the belief system that shapes whether we think life happens to us or because of us. High internal locus of control believe our actions shape outcomes, whereas high external locus of control believes in forces like luck or fate. Both extreme ends of the spectrum can be harmful. To find balance, Cindy offers three questions to ask ourselves the next time something goes wrong: 1. Do we blame ourselves or others first? 2. Do we believe success is based on effort, relationships, or luck? And 3. When someone else is struggling, do we think that could be us or that it would never happen to us? Cindy guides us through what the answers to those questions mean and how to reframe our thinking about setbacks.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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182 - Do Less More Slowly

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 4 Sep 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses how the “always on” hustle culture mindset in society is pushing us steadily towards burnout. We’re running on empty, and what are we rushing towards? She explores the transformative idea of doing less, more slowly. A mindset shift towards doing what matters most with intention instead of simply working harder, faster, and longer for no good reason. How do we break free of the hustle culture habits and switch to a calmer and more sustainable approach to work? Cindy has some ideas for us.

Performance-based productivity keeps us looking busy while not accomplishing much. When we constantly pressure ourselves to do more, faster, we often miss out on the ‘why’. We start believing exhaustion is the only way. But Cindy offers the radical idea that calm isn’t the enemy of productivity, it’s the foundation. Calm is not passive; it’s powerful, creative, and strategic. Calm doesn’t demand strict, overbearing control, either. Instead of clinging to rigid control and pushing ourselves harder, perhaps we should let go and show up with presence instead.

Cindy shares how we can build self-trust and calm. Start small by showing up for ourselves and keeping our word. Say we’ll go for a ten-minute walk after work, and then actually do it. When we can count on ourselves, we have more power. We can make better decisions on how to spend our time. Cindy reminds us that success should be sustainable and that requires doing work we enjoy at a pace that doesn’t destroy us. Trust that if we pause to catch our breath, our career won’t implode. It’s a change in mindset to actively let go of the frantic productivity rush we’re currently in.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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181 - When What You Think Gets In The Way Of What You Want

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 28 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the invisible barrier of our own thinking that can be in the way of progressing in our careers. Our brains are wired for self-preservation, not bold career leaps, so even though we say we want impact or recognition, we are likely being steered away from risk and discomfort by our thoughts. So what do we do? How do we identify this kind of thinking and challenge those patterns? Cindy describes what the self-preservation thinking looks like, how to develop our self-awareness, and ways to start to take risks in our careers.

When we understand that our brains are primarily wired for survival, we can we can start to see how staying safe can often also mean staying stuck. Safe avoids discomfort, keeps us playing small, and does not like making others uncomfortable. Our self-preservation can show up as roadblocks like perfectionism or overthinking. Cindy urges us to get honest about both our strengths and struggles so we can begin dismantling the barriers unconsciously holding us back. Once we identify what we’re struggling with, Cindy offers the follow-up question of, “What’s standing in the way of us working on them?”

Self-awareness is not self-blame. We aren’t responsible for every roadblock in our way. But self-awareness lets us take back control so we can empower ourselves by working with both our brilliance and blind spots. Cindy shares some steps to take. Describe ourselves with five words. Then ask what five words would friends or family choose for us. This outside perspective is key to a balanced view of ourselves. When we can identify where we’re holding back, we learn to let discomfort shape us into something greater. We can step out of the safe thinking and into something challenging.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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180 - Micromanaged Into Feeling Not Good Enough

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 21 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger examines micromanagement at work and when it might turn from a misguided attempt at mentorship to a more sinister form of intentional misdirection. In matrix environments, roles and responsibilities are fluid, and we tend to get input from all directions. We want to please people, so we internalize every correction as encouragement, even when it isn’t. Micromanagement is subtle but powerful. Cindy demonstrates how to identify it and how to break the pattern with a radical shift in focus.

Many of us were raised, deliberately or not, to be grateful for any attention we receive, especially in environments where women are underrepresented. We’re taught that feedback is an opportunity we should be grateful for, even if it’s tone deaf or controlling. Cindy wants us to break this pattern by asking ourselves some key questions. Does this expectation align with the career we want to build? Is this feedback helpful, or does it just maintain the status quo? Is this real value? We need to put ourselves first for a change and be intentional about where our time and effort go. We need to not let micromanagement become our norm.

When someone is overly involved in our work, it’s not always seen as a red flag. We assume it’s part of the process, and we work harder, which is exactly why micromanagement works. Cindy explains how awareness is our way out. We need to notice how constantly accessible we keep ourselves. When were we acting out of fear instead of alignment? Setting boundaries, being selective, communicating assertively, and practicing saying no calmly and clearly are all ways we reclaim our power and stop letting micromanagement control us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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179 - Playing It Safe Is Costing You More Than You Think

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 14 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how our natural instinct to feel safe can turn into a trap by silencing our bold ideas and keeping us in a role that no longer challenges us. She differentiates between blowing up our lives and doing small low stakes change experiments to reconnect to intuition. Stability is inviting but it can lead to too much safety. Cindy offers a way to push ourselves past that instinct for predictable comfort into discovering new possibilities.

Safety feels good until it doesn’t. It feels like we’re in control until one day it starts to feel like numbness and being boxed in. But how do we know when our safety has actually become complacency? Cindy has three clues to guide our assessment: 1) We constantly ask for validation or permission before making a move, 2) We feel safe but also stuck, and 3) We find ourselves downsizing our goals to make other people comfortable. Stability has its place but financial and emotional security should be a foundation, not a ceiling.

Redefining safety is key. Safety doesn’t mean avoiding discomfort, it means building trust in our own ability to respond to discomfort. Cindy encourages us to be willing to get a little uncomfortable in order to experiment and explore in our careers. She points out that momentum matters more than motivation, since motivation can be fickle. We need to also question our need for approval. Following Cindy’s guidance opens a path to flexibility and real growth potential. It reframes discomfort not as a danger, but simply uncertainty. Uncertainty can be normalized and anticipated. That’s how we grow.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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178 - Why Should You Have It Any Easier

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the belief that if one generation of women endured suffering in order to succeed, the next generation must too. Some women, consciously or not, believe that hardship is a necessary rite of passage. They gatekeep and end up reinforcing a toxic culture instead of paving the way for women coming up after them to succeed with fewer obstacles. Cindy looks at how to break this cycle, how to redefine the goal as not just enduring the hardships of the system, but to change the system. With this in mind, a future of thriving, not simply surviving, can exist between generations in the workplace.

The fact that some women seem intent on ensuring future generations endure the same suffering they did comes from surviving the continued traumas of toxic workplaces. It’s a type of internalized misogyny disguised as high standards, making the bar one of how much abuse can be suffered. Cindy makes the case for dismantling this cycle because it’s doing more collective harm than good. We can choose to energize the next generation instead of exhausting them. Resources are not as limited as we’ve been led to believe. Women can win and be celebrated by each other without anyone losing.

True leadership isn’t about exerting power over anyone. Cindy stresses that it’s about building something sustainable together. So, how do we break this ingrained cycle and build something better? Cindy offers five ways to start: 1. Choose mentorship over gatekeeping, 2. Redefine what strength looks like, 3. Celebrate collective wins, 4. Push for structural change, and 5. Create new measures of readiness and performance. Cindy asks us to use our survival stories not as weapons, but as reasons to lead differently and mentor generously.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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177 - Start Gathering The Evidence

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 31 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the idea that shifting our attention away from self-criticism can lead to a career that is both sustainable and futureproof. This happens through intentional, visible effort and starts with recognizing that momentum is about reclaiming minutes and tracking effort over perfection. We all have those voices in our heads criticizing what we do, but Cindy emphasizes that we can train ourselves to celebrate progress instead of wallowing in self-criticism. And it’s that celebration and retraining our use of time that Cindy says leads us to a better career.

The small wins are what help us gather evidence of our overall progress. Cindy advises writing these wins down. One thing that went right. Speaking up in a meeting. Completing a tough email. This isn’t about building a highlight reel for social media, but rather collecting career fuel meant only for ourselves. We need to see our own progress to understand that momentum builds through the tiny, continuous actions, rather than in giant leaps and bounds.

We train our brains to prioritize disappointment over progress when we only focus on the problems and obstacles. So acknowledging the wins and progress is retraining our brains to seek out the positive instead. To make time for this new list, look for all the wasted minutes we can reclaim: during our commute, standing in line, waiting for a meeting to start. It only takes minutes to scan our small wins and list more that we can accomplish. Then, Cindy says, when the time comes to reach for promotion, we are ready to express our value, our worth, our growth.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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176 - Do You Actually Want Feedback Or Just Compliments

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 24 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger examines the difference between actionable feedback and constant validation. While it’s always wonderful to get compliments on work, and those are necessary to boost morale, seeking only positive praise will inhibit meaningful growth. It’s the honest critique and useful feedback that helps us course correct and sharpen our strengths. Cindy discusses how to break free of compliment-only cravings to seek out and embrace critical feedback for growth. She lays out a plan for obtaining the right kind of input.

Encouragement is essential for building confidence and keeping us motivated through the initial learning curves in our careers. But as the stakes rise, compliments become less helpful. We start prioritizing feeling good over getting better, and that leads to a career plateau. We all have blind spots about ourselves and our own skills, ingrained habits holding us back that can only be identified by someone outside ourselves. Cindy stresses the importance of this honest, outside feedback in helping us develop.

Not all feedback is constructive, however. We need to ensure we’re getting actionable, thoughtful critiques. How do we ask for that kind of feedback? Cindy shares five strategic moves with us: 1. Be crystal clear in our requests, 2. Ask specific questions, 3. Make it as safe as possible for others to tell us the truth, 4. Listen without defensiveness, and 5. Act on what we learn. She also identifies seven common pitfalls to avoid when seeking feedback. Armed with the advice and guidance Cindy offers in this episode, we can all head into work to ask for the input we need for advancement.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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175 - So Easy To Repeat The Negative

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 17 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses negativity bias, the tendency we have to look for what’s going wrong when we’re in an environment that doesn’t affirm or value our contributions. This focus on the negative isn’t out of pessimism, but is a survival strategy. However, the more we allow ourselves to focus on the negative, the more it feels like the truth. Cindy examines how this happens and what it takes to change our mindset and challenge the negative patterns. Breaking free of self-limiting narratives is possible, and Cindy explains how it’s done.

Negativity is rarely something we consciously choose. It’s a survival technique that becomes a default way of thinking over time. The first step to breaking the pattern, therefore, is acknowledging how easy it is to focus on the negative. Cindy addresses how the habit forms and what we unconsciously do to feed it. When we understand how we’re responding to negative input or a toxic environment, we can identify where the self-doubt takes root. She presents the idea of shifting the pattern of our input to reframe our mindset.

Cindy’s advice on breaking the cycle of negativity includes making a choice not to let our challenges be the only story we tell ourselves. By giving ourselves permission to believe that outcomes other than negative ones are possible, we start to retrain our brains to identify opportunity as well as risk. Cindy talks about the pitfalls of internalized comparison and the glorification of suffering for suffering’s sake. She breaks down how these add to negative bias and work against our success. Instead, she advises giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt so can alter our own mindset and outlook.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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174 - The Words You Choose Are Powerful

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 10 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the power of words and why language is about more than communication. The words we choose shape how we view ourselves and what we believe is possible. By using more empowering words, we can open ourselves to new options and reclaim our sense of agency. Cindy offers insight into how different words impact our mindset and how to go about reframing our thoughts from a more positive perspective. It’s not just about the meaning of our words, but the words themselves.

The smallest, seemingly most casual words often carry the most weight. Words like can’t, won’t, don’t, and should. We think they’re harmless because we use them out of habit. But Cindy points out how the habits behind their use shape our behavior, confidence and careers over time. She examines how the words subtly mire us in limiting beliefs and suggests ways in which we can examine the circumstances that created the word habits and reframe them into a more positive light.

Naming our experiences correctly is an important step towards healing from the limiting words we’ve been using. Cindy stresses that we don’t have to find perfect words, we don’t always have to sound polished, we just need to state the truth of our experience. She offers five ways to put this word into action: 1) Replace ‘but’ with ‘and’, 2) Trade ‘should’ for ‘could’, 3) Speak in terms of options and opportunities, 4) Notice our language without judgment, and 5) Reframe our past experiences with ‘even though’ language. She encourages us to intentionally choose words that build us up, rather than tear us down.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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173 - Getting Comfortable In Your Own Skin

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 3 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the invisible load of anxiety, stress, and self-imposed pressure that high-achieving women often carry under their calm and capable exteriors. What the world sees as strength hides exhaustion from trying to stay ahead of anxiety by never sitting still. Cindy breaks down how to recognize when constant busyness is a coping mechanism, how to separate stress from anxiety, and the key to reclaiming control over mind, body, and career.

While from the outside we may appear superhuman by being perpetually in motion, that relentless busyness often masks deep-seated anxiety. Our culture has instructed us that the goal is to have it all together, to operate at a high level under pressure. But what about the unseen anxiety that exterior composure hides? Cindy names three steps to breaking the anxiety loop: 1) Get curious about symptoms, 2) Separate sensation from fear, and 3) Practice sitting with discomfort.

Feeling stressed or anxious is not a sign we’re broken. Discomfort doesn’t mean we’re failing. Cindy encourages us to get familiar with our body signals in order to remove the fear and take back our power. She teaches us about awareness, how to override our stress responses, and the power of redirecting past or future worry back to the present moment. Cindy explores how we can learn to find moments of true presence and how to show up intentionally so anxiety is not running the show. Her guidance helps to identify anxiety for what it is and demystify it so we can get comfortable in our own skin and embrace stillness.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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172 - Better Than Leaving It To Chance

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 26 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the idea that our emotions are not just reactions to what happens around us, but are conscious and intentional choices we have control over. If we don’t consciously choose how to feel, we leave it to chance and find ourselves at the whim of spiralling emotions. Cindy proposes steering away from fear as our default and instead setting intentions for our emotions to learn how to anticipate best-case scenarios instead of worst-case ones. Instead of our emotions being at the mercy of our surroundings, we can instruct ourselves on how to feel.

We believe that choosing how we feel means ignoring real problems and pretending everything is fine. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Cindy is clear that choosing our emotions is not about fake positivity or just gritting our teeth through the bad times, it’s about claiming ownership over our internal experience. So, how do we do that? By intentionally choosing what we want to feel and setting an emotional anchor for whatever situation arises.

Cindy shares four practical strategies to help us take control of our emotions: 1) Start each day by consciously choosing how we want to feel, 2) Reframe fear and criticism immediately, 3) Counter every worst-case scenario with a best-case, and 4) Use intentional compartmentalization. By deciding how we’ll feel, we learn to avoid our brain’s default setting of predicting danger. Choosing how to feel is a power move, not wishful thinking. Cindy’s advice gives us the groundwork we need to start taking control of our emotions.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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171 - So Few Willing To Do What It Takes

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 19 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses what it takes to build a fulfilling career and how it’s not necessarily the most talented or best-connected people who achieve fulfillment. It’s about cultivating intentionality and setting a vision to act on. She explains how to do the work when it’s uncomfortable and to stop waiting for the perfect moment to arrive before we start acting on our goals. Cindy offers a guide for not just having a plan but acting on it without holding out for a mysterious invitation or ideal moment.

There is a tendency to wait for the perfect conditions before forging ahead into the progress we want to see in our careers. But waiting for life to beckon us in is futile. Building the career we want starts by just taking a step forward on a random Tuesday. It’s about doing something today, even if it’s slightly uncomfortable. Cindy offers advice on how we can create momentum to make the first steps less daunting. Once we start moving, we build self-trust and confidence, the foundation of success.

Cindy explores why adaptability is essential to building our careers, but why adaptation without direction will allow us to be blown off-course. We need to develop a steady core that includes our values and sense of purpose to create anchors for ourselves. She discusses cultivating mentorship, understanding what energizes us, and developing mental strength instead of relying on luck. Her guidance shows us the path to creating the career that matters most to us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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170 - How Is This To My Benefit?

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 12 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about reframing challenges into opportunities for growth. The challenges that pop up in the workplace over and over can erode our confidence in the long run, but what Cindy wants us to know is that we have the power to shape what the challenges mean. They can be empowering instead of destructive if we view them the right way. How do we transform struggles into power? How do we use the challenges to our benefit?

Amid the confusion and frustration of workplace struggles lies a profound opportunity. While we can’t control other people or circumstances that arise, we can control our own responses and interpretations of the experience. Cindy walks us through ten steps on how to build a stronger foundation for success from the struggles and setbacks we encounter. 1) Acknowledge the hurt. 2) Accept that people will behave according to their fears, not our merits. 3) Reframe setbacks as stepping stones.

Cindy continues explaining how to build success from challenges. 4) Master the stories we tell ourselves. 5) Identify patterns and learn from them. 6) Distill lessons into personal wisdom. 7) Adjust our beliefs and behaviors. 8) Build and protect resilience. 9) Shift from blame to ownership. And 10) Choose intentional action every step of the way. Cindy guides us through these ten steps because, as she says, “you have the power to make this the beginning of your transformation”. We are the only ones who get to decide what’s next for ourselves.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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169 - Do You See More Good Than Bad

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 5 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores emotional exhaustion, the extreme weariness that makes everything feel like just another item on an endless to-do list. It’s a common lived reality, and Cindy addresses what it feels like and how it can snowball into impacting everything from work quality to health. However, it can be managed. There is a way to reframe setbacks and find the good among the chaos, a way to regain control and prioritize our well-being, that Cindy lays out for us.

How do we know if we’re in the midst of emotional exhaustion? Cindy shares four telltale signs that we’re running on empty: 1) Struggling to find joy, 2) Increased resilience on distractions, 3) Feeling stuck or hopeless, and 4) Numbness. She assures us that not only is emotional exhaustion not a personal failing, but everyone feels it at some point. But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean we have to stay stuck in it.

Cindy asks us to remember that bad things will happen, but we can choose to find something good to focus on. We can also assess what’s draining us by using these four tips on how to decide whether we’re putting energy into the right things: 1) Take inventory, 2) Solve or shift, 3) Break the pattern, and 4) Restore energy. When we shift from trying to control outcomes to focusing on our responses and energy allocation, we have the key to maintaining resilience and progress.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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168 - Running From or Running Toward

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 29 May 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger encourages us to examine our reasons for leaving a job to make sure we’re moving from a place of strength and not defeat. Are we running from an intolerable situation or running toward something better? Cindy walks us through what both look like and why taking the time to move toward something with intention is better for our careers. So while leaving a bad job because it’s draining us is a good move, make sure we’re leaving with a step towards the next thing we want instead of just fleeing.

The problem with just slapping down a letter of resignation and walking away dramatically without a goal in mind is that the satisfaction is temporary. When we impulsively run, we may fall into the same mess, just with a different title somewhere else. There’s value in forming a clear vision of what we want next before handing in that resignation so we leave on our terms, confidently, instead of rushing out in overwhelm.

Cindy talks us through how to take stock of our current situation, why we’re leaving, and how to decide what comes next. What lessons have we learned from this intolerable place that we’re identifying so we can avoid them in the future? Once we have a clear vision, we can leave the past and enter the new role with purpose. Cindy offers five strategies for making the transition smoother: 1) Give ourselves time, 2) Set realistic expectations, 3) Reward ourselves for having courage, 4) Stay curious, and 5) Reflect regularly. With intention, we can leave something bad with the purpose of heading toward something better instead of just running.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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167 - Is It Even True?

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 22 May 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the internal voices we listen to that can prove to be one of the most insidious obstacles in navigating our workplaces. She examines how our own negative thoughts and overthinking can sabotage even the most accomplished professionals. So, how do we learn to question our own thoughts? How can we learn to separate facts from fiction in our own minds to embrace self-empowerment and move forward confidently? Cindy is here to help.

Our own unchallenged thoughts can impair our decision-making and make us easy targets for manipulation. But just because we think a thing doesn’t mean it’s true. We need to learn to question some of our thoughts, especially the negative ones. To challenge the limiting beliefs with tangible evidence. Changing thought patterns isn’t easy, but Cindy offers three strategies to help: 1) Practice daily thought audits, 2) Get a second opinion, and 3) Focus on progress, not perfection.

Cindy posits that reframing our questions doesn’t just change answers, it changes mindset. It shifts focus from fear to possibility. Because negative thoughts aren’t just inconvenient but damaging, it’s important to build our resilience and develop tools to challenge our thoughts. Cindy shares three ways to build that mental muscle: 1) Stay curious, not critical, 2) Normalize self-reflection regularly, and 3) Focus on the progress. Once we are able to build mental resilience, Cindy leads us through practical tools for moving forward. This episode guides us in challenging our own negative thoughts so we don’t just believe everything we think, but counter our limiting beliefs with facts.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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166 - The Power is Yours to Opt Out

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 15 May 2025 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about choosing to opt out of toxic dynamics in the workplace. We don’t need to continue trying to win the approval of toxic coworkers. We can disengage and break free from the harmful patterns. It isn’t about giving up, it’s an act of self-protection and empowerment. Cindy explains how to identify toxic dynamics and provides guidance on how to step back and reclaim our control and confidence.

To help us see the truth behind motives, Cindy identifies five common tactics used to camouflage toxic behavior: 1) Manipulation, 2) Gaslighting, 3) Devaluing others, 4) Entitlement, and 5) Dismissiveness. These behaviors are often subtle and cumulative. Over time, they play into our self-doubt and create a toxic atmosphere. To turn our attention away from them and back to what we can control, Cindy offers these steps: 1) Reframe our role, 2) Detach emotionally, and 3) Reclaim our narrative.

In the effort to disengage, toxic people can have extreme reactions, which make the effort more challenging. Cindy offers four ways to stay grounded while reclaiming our control: 1) Stop trying to change them, 2) Hold boundaries, 3) Stop feeding the cycle, and 4) Redirect energy. Once we have successfully disengaged from the toxic workplace scenario, we can focus on healing and growth. While toxic workplaces are draining and demoralizing, they don’t have to hold us hostage. This episode shows how to get our power back.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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165 - False Promises Just Keep You Hanging On

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 8 May 2025 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the cycle of unrealistic expectations and false promises that keeps us striving indefinitely. It’s not just exhausting, it feeds into a culture that thrives on our self-doubt and overwork. We’re left blaming ourselves instead of identifying the truth, which Cindy explains isn’t us but the system that maintains control with ever-moving goalposts. How do we break free from this unending grind? Cindy tells us how to create an authentic and fulfilling career independent of other people’s arbitrary standards.

Cindy calls the coercive control loop of false promises ‘future faking’. It erodes our confidence and fosters burnout. Continuing to shift the goalposts is designed to keep us striving but never arriving. It’s a demoralizing control tactic that is used to maintain control and keep us off-balance. When we let it get to us, we start doubting ourselves, which causes us to double down in effort. Cindy says the first step to stop playing the game is recognizing that we don’t have to prove our worth, and the second step is to redefine what success means to us.

There are three common patterns that prevent us from taking back our power. 1) Unrealistic expectations, 2) Invisible work, and 3) Toxic dynamics. When we can identify those patterns, we can see them for what they are and reclaim our confidence and agency. Cindy offers a roadmap for how to acknowledge future faking and stop internalizing the problem. With her guidance, we can shift the power dynamic and choose ourselves, our goals, our values, and our well-being instead of playing a rigged game.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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164 - Don't Crush Their Dreams

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 1 May 2025 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger examines the fine line between honesty and encouragement when offering advice. While we don’t want to ignore challenges or sugarcoat reality for others, we also shouldn’t crush their dreams prematurely by offering too much realism that comes across as pessimism. How do we encourage others while still offering constructive insights to help refine their path? Cindy offers a way forward through reframing the conversation in curiosity and empowering others to see potential instead of doubt.

When we reflect on our experiences and offer advice like “don’t get your hopes up” or “it’s harder than it looks” we may think we’re protecting someone from disappointment by being realistic. In reality, however, we’re letting our own insecurities or cultural conditioning towards skepticism deflate their confidence. Cindy offers three reasons why telling people their dreams won’t work is a waste of energy: 1) They’ll figure it out for themselves, 2) We might be wrong, and 3) We’re robbing them of growth.

Cindy differentiates honesty from negativity and reframes our advice-giving with curiosity instead of cold realism. She suggests a line of questions about why they’re excited or how they’ll approach challenges. There are ways to be honest without crushing dreams. Cindy shares four strategies for how to answer honestly while also making it easier to take in: 1) Validate first, prepare later, 2) Frame feedback constructively, 3) Encourage self-reflection, and 4) Resist the urge to over-prepare them. Fostering possibility is good for everyone.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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163 - Take Advantage of the Social Window

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 24 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the social window, the fleeting time that occurs during the first few weeks in a new environment, when people are more open to connection and bonding. The social window won’t last forever, so it’s important to take advantage of it to build relationships, establish influence, and form a supportive network. What is the best way to use the social window to our career advantage, and what should we expect while trying? Cindy explains the process.

The social window offers the easiest time for us to engage in networking. There is a fleeting openness in it that creates a low-stakes environment for relationship building. Cindy shares five ways to make the most of the opportunity: 1) Be proactive, not passive, 2) Join group activities, 3) Leverage shared hardships, 4) Focus on quality over quantity, and 5) Follow up.

Cindy discusses being intentional about the social window by deciding what we want to accomplish and forming a plan. Having goals will help prioritize our efforts when meeting new people. She suggests reframing our perspective to see introductions as a career investment instead of as a series of awkward moments. If we don’t take advantage of this time, real consequences can follow. Cindy identifies three of the most common: 1) Feeling out of place, 2) Missed career opportunities, and 3) Undermined confidence.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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162 - Looking Backward to Move Forward

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 17 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the value of reflecting on our past experiences as a guide to navigating a more empowered future. Looking backward can teach us a lot. When we reflect on what we’ve been through, we can see unfinished business, repeated patterns, and things we’ve also done right. All these things become a strategic tool for forward thinking. But how do we look back without wallowing in regret or spiralling? And how do we use our experiences in the future?

Backwards reflection isn’t just about wishing we’d done things differently; it’s about gathering data. Unfinished business doesn’t stay in the past. It follows us into the future, undermining our confidence and sabotaging our career success. Reflection allows for analysis and reframing of the situation. Cindy has five ways to avoid falling into regret while reflecting: 1) Acknowledge what we wanted, 2) Allow ourselves to feel, 3) Separate fact from fiction, 4) Extract the lesson, and 5) Apply the lesson learned.

Cindy gives us a guide for turning reflection into a powerful move for future success. Instead of stifling feelings about past experiences, she encourages us to process the feelings to clear the way for growth. By keeping reflection focused, we gain clarity. Identifying what we learned allows us to decide how to apply it moving forward. Cindy walks us through looking backwards with a clear purpose in order to shed light on the best way to proceed in our careers. Reflection isn’t about regret, it’s about resilience and capability.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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161 - Pivot, Don't Panic

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 10 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the skill known as pivoting. Our careers don’t often unfold exactly as planned. More often than not, a major curveball out of left field flies in to disrupt our plans. It could be a new boss, an imploding project, or shifts in the industry, but whatever it is, we are left reeling and unsure of what to do next. Instead of panicking or withdrawing, pivoting is a skill that encourages us to pause and assess before making a deliberate move forward. Cindy looks at how to pivot and when, and guides us through learning to be adaptable.

Security and certainty in today’s workplaces are not guaranteed. We don’t want to admit it, but things shift all the time. Rules change, priorities reshuffle, and our world can be turned upside down. Spiraling into panic is an easy temptation. Panic feels productive in the moment. But panic leads to catastrophizing and impulsive moves. Cindy outlines the proactive approach towards flipping the script that pivoting offers. She explains how to acknowledge the chaos, assess the situation, and figure out a strategic next move.

Cindy shares a four-step process on what to do when an unexpected left turn happens. 1) Stop before doing anything, 2) Assess and find out what’s really happening, 3) Strategize, and 4) Act. Pivoting isn’t about perfection but about progress. It’s easier with practice. Cindy advises building a resilience toolkit, embracing flexibility, celebrating progress, and maintaining perspective. This episode is all about learning to face the challenge of upheaval head-on without panicking. It’s a valuable guide on taking rational next steps forward.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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160 - Are You Motivated More By Fear or Fun

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 3 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about perspective and how our perspective of our work colors how we feel about it. Our brains love to tell stories about what we’re doing, but if the story being told at work is always “I hate this,” we’ll be in misery. Cindy poses the alternative option: getting our brains to tell a story about enjoyment, which can change our experience at work to one of curiosity or even excitement. So, how do we do that? How do we shift perspective?

Cindy asks what motivates us more: fear or fun? We’ve been sold the lie that misery equals merit, that being challenged and pushing harder at work, feeling stressed and unhappy, makes us better at our jobs. But being miserable is not the only way to work. If we choose to enjoy what we do, then we can make the same work fun and see it through the lens of curiosity and motivation.

Cindy shares four strategies to help us turn even the worst tasks into a bit more fun: 1) Gamify our work, 2) Pair it with a reward, 3) Turn it into a challenge, and 4) Add personal touches. Work isn’t always fun. But Cindy encourages us to be proactive about our own motivation. Motivation, rooted in either fear or reward, is the fuel that gets us through work. So Cindy breaks down how to generate our own motivation in a way that makes the task easier and more enjoyable, with advice on overcoming dread with action.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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159 - Protect Yourself From Being Taken Advantage Of

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 27 Mar 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the cycle of enabling that keeps us picking up the slack for other people. Sometimes we are too nice, too accommodating, unable to say no, or just fixated on work being done perfectly so we do the work of others as well as our own. And when they come to expect it, we keep doing it. We’re being taken advantage of and we’re the ones allowing it. So how do we identify this cycle and break it?

We set a precedent when we show ourselves to be the person who will always step up and always shoulder the burden. No matter our intentions when we first took on the extra work, because we continue accepting it, we become the person everyone dumps things on. It has a negative impact on our own workload, our sense of accomplishment, our health, and our careers. We need to protect ourselves and Cindy shows us how.

Cindy shares five strategies for reclaiming our time and energy: 1) Set clear boundaries, 2) Stop jumping in, 3) Say no, 4) Prioritize our work, and 5) Ask for help. We set up an environment where we are overly helpful and coworkers are exploiting that willingness. But they often don’t even realize they are exploiting us. So it’s to everyone’s benefit that we break the cycle. Boundaries are what create healthy workplaces. Cindy advises us on how to set necessary boundaries, say no, and pick and choose when we offer help.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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158 - We Experience What We Expect

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 20 Mar 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores what happens when our brain’s instinct to keep us safe from threats backfires and becomes a limiting and counterproductive loop. We spend a lot of time unconsciously on high alert, looking for signs that our trust might be betrayed or we’ll be taken advantage of. But always assuming the worst limits what’s possible. Cindy looks into considering a different perspective and shows us how to change our minds.

A cynical mindset keeps us safe from disappointment but also keeps us stuck. And being a cynical or pessimistic person doesn’t just affect us, it affects how others view us. It becomes a cycle where we expect people to be selfish and radiate mistrust so people stop trusting and focus on themselves, thus proving our own belief. Cindy offers insight into how to change our mindset and start believing in the possible instead of expecting the worst.

Cindy advises reframing our thoughts and changing our beliefs through reflecting on our experiences. She shares four questions to ask ourselves to help guide our reflection: 1) What disappointments or regrets did we experience this year? 2) What did we feel should have been acknowledged? 3) What did we accomplish this year? and 4) How do the events of the year, good and bad, work to our advantage? Changing our default expectations changes not only how we think but how we show up and how we are responded to.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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157 - The Cumulative Effect

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 13 Mar 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the cumulative effect of subtle and not-so-subtle micro-aggressions that build up in us over time. It’s the minor incidents like a dismissive glance, an ignored idea, and being overlooked that we shove to the side. But they don’t go away. They build up and can have a negative impact on our career without us even realizing it. Cindy explains how we can identify and take charge of these cumulative slighted feelings moving forward.

The unresolved baggage of micro-aggressions layered inside us gets carried around and affects how we view ourselves, behave, and even what we expect of our own achievements. So how do we identify and validate them so we can become stronger? Cindy shares five steps: 1) Name the baggage, 2) Reframe our perspective, 3) Set boundaries, 4) Focus on what we can control, and 5) Find our people.

Workplace slights are real and the key isn’t learning how to avoid these difficulties, but how to manage them and learn. Cindy calls this building emotional agility. We learn to resolve the stress-creating baggage so we can be free of the triggers. How do we reframe the triggers? 1) Pause and identify, 2) Challenge the association, and 3) Take action. Cindy guides us through the subtly complex world of microaggressions, cumulative baggage, resolution, and letting go in this key episode.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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156 - Pushing the Boundaries of Possibility

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 6 Mar 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the power of challenging cynicism to become a hopeful skeptic instead. She isn’t talking about blind optimism but rather the power to balance realism with possibility. Why does being jaded hold us back? What if we get greater opportunities by shifting how we think about what’s possible? Cindy uncovers how to push our boundaries to allow more hope into our careers.

The power of a positive attitude is real but it’s not about a fake smile or saying everything’s fine. It’s about allowing positive thinking to change how we interpret setbacks and move forward with optimism. Cynicism may feel protective but in truth it’s a limiting cage. Cindy outlines how we’re held back by a jaded negative mindset and why reframing our thoughts to accommodate possibility and hope is such a vital shift.

When Cindy says to embrace hopeful skepticism, she means refusing to assume the worst without proof. She offers three tips for how make skepticism work positively: 1. Pause and question, 2. Gather evidence, and 3. Stay open-minded. She discusses how to approach each step and then shares three tips on how to cultivate more hope: 1. Look for kindness, 2. Find the good in situations, and 3. Share the positivity. This episode highlights the power of a mindset shift to allow hope to expand our career possibilities.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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155 - Make Overthinking Work For You

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 27 Feb 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about overthinking, that tendency to analyze and ponder a decision for so long that we become exhausted. Instead of being thorough, we trap ourselves in a cycle of indecision. Spending more time thinking about a decision doesn’t necessarily lead to a better outcome and Cindy examines why that is. Why wouldn’t extra thought be better? And if it isn’t, how do we stop the spinning wheels and endless analysis of overthinking?

It’s important to note the difference between thinking and overthinking. Thinking is productive. It’s deliberate, focused, and rational. Overthinking is repetitive and unproductive. It’s often fueled by fear: fear of judgement, failure or not being enough. Cindy highlights five ways to break free from overthinking: 1) Be solution-focused, 2) Organize thoughts, 3) Take a break, 4) Set a time limit, and 5) Accept uncertainty.

Breaking the habit of overthinking requires making a decision and taking action before we’ve locked ourselves in the overthinking cycle. Cindy advises to start small, acting on decisions that aren’t that big a deal in the larger picture. Not every choice requires agonizing hours of our limited time and energy resources. Cindy offers insight into shifting our thinking from ‘what if’ analysis that focuses on what could go wrong to more productive considerations of what is under our control that will go right. Join her to learn how to start breaking the overthinking cycle.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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154 - Uncover Your Limiting Beliefs

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the deeply ingrained unwritten rules we’ve been living by, the limiting beliefs we didn’t consciously agree to that have been shaping our careers. Like an outdated operating system running in the background, these limiting beliefs quietly sabotage our potential. What is possible when we uncover them and align our goals with what we really want? Cindy walks us through discovering and changing the beliefs holding us back.

The first step is identifying all those secret rules we’ve internalized that have been silently dictating what we do. Cindy explains that the limiting beliefs come from well-meaning advice, societal expectations, and passing comments we internalize. She delves into four of the most common: 1) “I don’t deserve better”, 2) “I’m not qualified for anything else”, 3) “I’m lucky to have this job”, and 4) “My work doesn’t count unless I’m miserable”.

So how do we shake these limiting beliefs and move past them? Cindy’s advice starts with four questions designed to uncover the ones we hold about ourselves. She then explains how to replace them with new, empowering beliefs by breaking down why the old beliefs are limiting. Replacing the limiting beliefs includes choosing a path that is both challenging and believable, paying attention to intuition, and taking a leap past ingrained fear. Cindy guides us into freedom from the unspoken rules that have been shaping our careers and lives with false narratives.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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153 - Making Sense of Your Lived Experience

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 13 Feb 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger focuses on making sense of the lived experiences we have, the beginning of realizing when our bad days are stacking up and we see we’re in a toxic cycle. It takes a long time to identify all the small signs for what they are. When we start to see the patterns emerge, we tend to doubt ourselves and we shouldn’t. Cindy explains why it’s vital to make sense of these lived experiences that are warning us that we need something better.

It takes strength to achieve the clarity we need to see our experiences for what they really are: manipulation, gaslighting, stress, and more. It’s all the little things that add up. The promised promotion is always being kept just out of reach for faults they tell us they see. The sense that we can’t do enough right at work. Being made to feel like the bad guy. And then a few moments of positivity are sprinkled in just often enough to make us doubt ourselves. Is it in our heads? No, it isn’t, and Cindy points out why as she explains how to achieve clarity.

How do we reclaim control? Cindy shares five ways to do it: 1) Set boundaries, 2) Stop trying to change them, 3) Recognize we deserve better, 4) Disengage from their behavior, and 5) Step out of the shadow. Cindy unpacks each of these steps for us. She lays out a roadmap for identifying gaslighting and trusting our lived experience and how to then free ourselves from the cycle. Cindy assures us that we deserve careers that align with our values and goals and we deserve a healthier work environment.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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152 - Something Just Feels Off

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 6 Feb 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about that nagging sensation in the back of our minds that something is wrong at work. Not a big catastrophe, but a subtle persistent feeling that something isn’t right and it’s causing unease. We start to question whether anything actually is off or it’s just us. We wonder if this feeling of discontent is just the way work is meant to be. Cindy is here to assure us that we are not imagining that feeling and talk us through how to identify and deal with those sensations.

The first challenge with this unease is recognizing it for what it is. We’re not unhappy enough to quit but we’re not happy staying. Cindy calls the feeling ‘psychological silt’ and it’s the residue of a thousand small unsupportive things that build up over time. The negative impacts of this create a lot of stress, self-doubt and low morale. Cindy shares 7 examples of these kinds of microaggressions and pinpoints of unease to help us identify them.

Cindy points out that the constant questioning and self-shame we subject ourselves to over whether or not we’re imagining this unease is a form of self-gaslighting. It is paralyzing and undermining us. She urges us to break from the loop of doubt and guilt with 6 tips for addressing the issues: 1) Name the problem, 2) Trust our feelings, 3) Seek support, 4) Set boundaries, 5) Push back on normalization, and 6) Stop gaslighting ourselves. She examines how each step works to set us free to reclaim our careers.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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151 - Acceptance is Not Resignation

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 30 Jan 2025 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the difference between acceptance and resignation. When career roadblocks present themselves, there’s a temptation to throw up our hands in despair and resign ourselves to defeat. But a better option is acceptance. Cindy explains how acceptance means seeing the situation for what it is and guides us on how to make the most of it.

The differences between resignation and acceptance are the differences between giving up and channeling our frustration into something productive. When we’re passed over for a promotion or someone else takes credit for our idea, it’s unfair and annoying but resignation is about giving up in despair. It gets us nowhere. Instead, acceptance allows us to say that life isn’t fair but allows us to brainstorm our next move forward. It keeps us productive.

Cindy shares three tips for maintaining career goals and ambitions while still calling out bad behavior when warranted: 1) Pick our battles, 2) Build a support system, and 3) Protect our energy. Cindy delves into how each step can assist with processing our feelings of frustration and anger without giving in to them. She instructs us on how to turn that disappointment into action with a properly measured response. Acceptance is not giving up. It’s what keeps us moving despite roadblocks.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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150 - Invite Others into Your Work

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 23 Jan 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how the lone wolf mentality of handling everything ourselves can backfire and hold us back. In toxic situations, it can even be used against us. Refusing to collaborate and work with others is self-imposed isolation that keeps us from valuable insights and promotes burnout. Cindy explains how we can learn to open ourselves up and work with others.

While Cindy isn’t suggesting opening the floodgates to allow everyone to weigh on every decision, she is advocating for understanding the value others bring to our work at key moments. She provides four reasons why it’s valuable: 1) Fresh perspectives mean better solutions, 2) Collaboration sparks creativity, 3) Shared workload means less burnout, and 4) Stronger relationships and better influence.

Inviting others into our work isn’t just helpful but strategic. It’s not admitting weakness. Cindy explains how insights from others are like an expansion of our knowledge. It also increases our visibility within the organization and can be an advantage. How we approach obtaining collaboration and responses is key to how effective that input will be. Cindy has very specific advice for ensuring the collaboration benefits all parties and keeps us thriving and not retreating back into a lone wolf mindset.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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149 - What's Getting in the Way

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 16 Jan 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses one of the frustrating aspects of collaborative work: when not every person involved is as invested in pulling their weight and getting the job done as you are. While it might be tempting to go it alone, that isn’t the solution. The reality of collaborative work can feel like herding cats. Cindy dives into how to navigate the minefield of disengagement, obstruction, and conflicting ideas with teamwork intact and without losing sanity.

Why is every person involved in a project not equally invested or competent? That’s simply the reality of workplaces and collaborative interaction. Cindy identifies the four main types of people we’re likely to encounter and how they operate. 1) the Doers, 2) the Observers, 3) the Drainers, and 4) the Saboteurs. She then offers three tips for handling everyone on a team, regardless of which type they are. 1) Set clear expectations from the start, 2) Encourage accountability, and 3) Use influence.

Cindy explores how to identify our own tendencies in a group project. It’s possible that we are actually disengaged or indifferent. If so, we need to find a way to contribute meaningfully. She lays out how effective communication works and points out how to avoid simply identifying problems without working toward solutions. Observers can be turned into active contributors using careful strategies, and saboteurs can be redirected without a showdown. This episode is key to learning exactly how to navigate group projects effectively when each team member operates differently.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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148 - Complete the Conversation

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 9 Jan 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how the flurry of our everyday workplace conversations can lead to misunderstandings and confusion. When we are part of work conversations at the coffee machine or in email threads that overlap other conversations, how do we know what to follow up on? We miss out on clarifying the next steps, deadlines, and each person’s responsibilities. So how do we mitigate this problem? How do we make sure we complete our conversations?

Simply having the initial conversation is often not enough to ensure success. We can walk away assuming the other party is responsible for a task or not understanding a deadline. And this lack of clarity can lead to failed projects and finger-pointing. Cindy states that it’s not about holding everyone hostage to an endless meeting assigning duties, but simply ensuring that the end of every conversation includes summarizing what the next steps are, who’s doing what, and when it’s due.

Cindy advocates for avoiding the psychological toll of incomplete conversations by employing practical strategies that tidy up lingering questions. She offers three tips for implementing this into our daily work lives. 1) Summarize before we wrap, 2) Be explicit about ownership, and 3) Set deadlines and enforce them. The goal is mutual understanding. Cindy explains how to slow down and close the conversational loop for increased workplace success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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147 - Doing Versus Leading

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 2 Jan 2025 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the shift from doing everything early in our careers to leading instead as we progress up the corporate ladder. While we start out efficiently executing tasks and cranking through work, the rules change as we achieve greater career success. The challenge of letting go of the reins to step into a leadership role becomes more important. But why? And how do we make that shift?

Clearly, there’s nothing wrong with our early ability to do tasks and be productive. But the higher we climb, the more we need to realize that doing everything ourselves must necessarily give way to leading others through the work and guiding from behind the scenes instead of acting on the front lines. This shift can be difficult and even terrifying. Cindy understands the inherent challenges we face and delves into why moving into leadership is a key shift and how to approach that shift with the right mindset.

Cindy discusses the key components of leadership to help us clearly see what role we’re moving into. She offers four key strategies to help us build the necessary skills for the transition: 1) Improve communication skills, 2) Learn to delegate effectively, 3) Cultivate emotional intelligence, and 4) Develop coaching and mentorship skills. She also offers tips on how to make the leadership shift easier on ourselves. This episode is Cindy’s rallying call to move away from our “do everything ourselves” early career mindset so we can step into the leadership role necessary for advancement.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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146 - Keep Challenging Yourself

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 26 Dec 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the trap of the comfort zone and why staying challenged at work is better for long-term success in this episode. While the comfort zone and being at the top of your game feels good, staying there too long can lead to stagnation. Cindy discusses why setting goals and learning new skills is key to our career progression.

While there’s nothing wrong with doing what we do best, just staying at that level and excelling eventually leads to some things we might not want. We shift from thriving to just maintaining the status quo. When we have too much stability, we aren’t pushed to try new things and we get complacent, even start doubting our ability to advance. Cindy points out why it’s better to be challenged and learn, especially once we reach the top of our game.

Cindy delves into the benefits of challenges, not just professionally but personally. Continuously pushing forward is what keeps us sharp. She details five ways we can mitigate career stagnation and keep pushing: 1) Focus on why, 2) Find a new challenge outside of work, 3) Stop waiting for permission, 4) Address internal barriers, and 5) Create a personal development plan. Join Cindy as she guides us through career advancement by way of constant challenge.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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145 - Incentive Alignment

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 19 Dec 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses what to do when incentives for recognition or advancement in our workplaces are not in alignment with how we work. Sometimes doing everything we think is right isn’t enough and we seem to be missing out on promotions or rewards. In those workplaces, the incentive structure is broken and we need to understand how to recognize the pitfalls and find alignment. This episode is a guide to how to manage this misalignment to advance to the careers we truly want.

Cindy identifies three examples of what can go wrong if we don’t recognize and adjust to the incentive misalignment in our workplace: 1) Work ethic erodes, 2) Pressure builds, and 3) We doubt ourselves. She explores what can be done if we’re stuck in a system that doesn’t value the right things and lays out five guidelines to focus on. 1) Set personal goals, 2) Document achievements, 3) Network internally and externally, 4) Manage energy, not just time, and 5) Learn the unwritten rules.

Why do misaligned systems still exist? There are many reasons that Cindy explores but the fact remains that if we’re stuck in one of those systems, we need to ensure that the broken system doesn’t break us. Focus on what is in our control and take care of personal achievement and performance goals. Cindy’s advice lets us know how to be good at our jobs and also recognize what is rewarded in our specific workplace systems so we can tackle both. The better we learn strategy, the more we’re set up for future success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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144 - Nice is Overrated

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 12 Dec 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the double-edged sword that niceness can be in this episode. The pressure to be nice in the corporate world can feel overwhelming but forced niceness can lead to self-sacrifice and the impression of being easily manipulated. Being kind is a far better goal than being nice and Cindy explains why that is and how to pursue kindness over being nice.

Cindy outright states that “niceness is overrated” and then delves into why that is. Niceness often comes at the expense of being real, honest, and kind. Niceness is about appearances and is surface level. It means keeping things pleasant even when it betrays our own feelings or needs. Kindness, however, digs deeper. Kindness is showing up for people, and not just in easy moments. It’s caring enough to tell someone an uncomfortable truth. And kindness is compassionate without being a doormat.

The vast differences between working in a culture of nice and working in a culture of kindness are explored by Cindy. Kindness is generous, fair, honest, and vulnerable. Niceness might say positive things but kindness does positive things. The difference between simply keeping things cordial at the expense of ourselves and our goals and finding kind ways to tell truths and remain true to ourselves is the point of this episode. Cindy highlights the benefits of kindness in the workplace and shares advice on how to let go of being nice and pursue kindness instead.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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143 - Do It Your Way

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 5 Dec 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses the idea that following organizational norms and the well-worn path may not get us to where we want to be. Instead, we may need to carve out our own unique path that breaks from conformity and embraces action. How do we identify what to follow and when to break free? And how do we cultivate the strengths we need to trust ourselves to do it our way? In this episode, Cindy offers insight into those questions.

In learning which of our rough edges should not be rounded off to suit the company, Cindy advises us to differentiate between being a maverick and being reckless. It’s not about going rogue, it’s about trusting our instincts and leaning into unique perspectives. She examines why failure is such an important teacher on this path and how to look for internal approval instead of external validation.

Cindy specifically speaks to women when she debunks the myth that in order to be successful, women need to mimic male traits while minimizing their own. But playing a game designed by and for men is a losing battle. Employing confidence is the key to doing it our own way. Cindy breaks down the importance of communication, not taking things personally, and embracing our own strengths with confidence.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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142 - Are you a Drama Dabbler?

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 28 Nov 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses those people who can’t help but thrive on chaos in today’s episode. The people who seem to always be in a state of emergency and who are addicted to drama. Perhaps it’s even us who are the drama dabblers. Why is this mindset harmful to progress and success? How do we break free from someone who is intent on staying in chaos? And if it’s us, how do we change? Cindy has advice to answer all these questions.

Why do some people thrive on creating or being involved in dramatic situations? For some, it’s a coping mechanism. Creating chaos that they can then fix is a way of feeling in control when stress levels are high or life is tough. But when they can’t break free of the need to hop from crisis to crisis, it becomes exhausting and addictive. It pulls others into a vortex of chaos. So Cindy shares three key ways to break free from that cycle.

Cindy introduces ways to distance ourselves from the perpetual drama queens that are sucking up our time. She offers insight into not rudely cutting people off but kindly protecting our own peace of mind. But what if we are the drama dabblers? Cindy shares four key ways to kick the drama addiction to the curb: 1) Acknowledge we’re the ones fuelling the drama, 2) Stop the sensory overload of negativity, 3) Identify bodily signals that we’ve had enough, and 4) Recognize that something may be missing for us. This episode is a guide on how to identify, remove, or change cycles of drama in our lives.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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141 - Don't Believe Everything You Think

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 21 Nov 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the inner dialogue we all have that is often driven by stress, fear, and anxiety, and why we shouldn’t believe everything it says. The things we tell ourselves are shaped by past experiences, current fears, and future worries and the stress we carry can make these inner voices very unreliable. So how do we start believing a better story about ourselves?

While our inner narrative can sometimes be encouraging, it is more often negative and self-sabotaging. It combines a series of conscious thoughts, unconscious beliefs, and personal fears into a dialogue that keeps us stuck in unproductive patterns. Cindy advises awareness as the first step in combating these negative inner thoughts. Becoming aware of our thoughts allows us to replace some of them with more positive ones consciously.

Cindy discusses four strategies to help us become more aware of our thoughts in order to kick the unhelpful self-talk out of our heads: 1) Monitor our thoughts, 2) Notice patterns and identify self-sabotaging behaviour, 3) Challenge our inner critic, and 4) Replace negative thoughts with empowering beliefs. As she delves into each point, she offers insight into how the limiting narrative forms and why it’s so important to disrupt it so we can live our fullest lives.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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140 - See What You're Made Of

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger explores the idea of putting ourselves to the test and stepping outside our comfort zones in this episode. There’s an allure to sticking to what we’re good at but if we only do what we’re good at, we don’t get challenged. When we accept a challenge, we trust ourselves more and build greater self-confidence. But how do we take those first steps?

When we master something, we feel good about ourselves because it’s safe and we have a niche. But eventually, it feels like autopilot. The thing about comfort zones is that they feel like we’re progressing in what we’re already good at but in reality, we’re just spinning our wheels. What if there’s something else we should be doing or could be good at? Cindy talks about what happens when we take a risk and try something new. Something unfamiliar.

Cindy describes what it looks like to push ourselves and the potential successes and personal gains we could realize. But she also acknowledges the societal and workplace barriers that contribute to our self-doubt. Four big barriers come to mind: 1. Imposter syndrome, 2. Double standards, 3. Perfectionism, and 4. The glass ceiling. So how do we overcome these barriers to take a chance to develop our skills in a new area? Cindy talks about exactly how to confront self-doubt and barriers to see what we’re actually made of.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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139 - Time to Reinvent Yourself

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Nov 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about reinvention and asks the question “What if who we are not isn’t who we need to be to achieve our dreams?”. Reinvention may be more a necessity than a possibility when we consider that in a changing world, we need to continue growing, thriving, and finding fulfillment. But exactly how do we do that? Cindy shares her guide to reinventing yourself with us.

Reinvention challenges us to step beyond the boundaries of our old selves and explore the potential that lies beyond our comfort zones. When we find ourselves in a state of dissatisfaction or desperation with our careers, getting out of the stagnation sometimes requires that we embrace change despite how scary it feels. Reinvention is a process we should embrace and Cindy details exactly why it’s the key to advancement.

Cindy outlines the three key phases of reinventing ourselves: 1) Laying the foundation where we recognize where we’re starting from, 2) Creating the plan where we take dreams and identify the gaps in our knowledge, and 3) Putting the plan into action. She explores exactly how to lay the right foundation to support reinvention and how to commit to stepping outside our comfort zones. Her advice on how to not backslide into our old identities includes 1) Staying vigilant, 2) Surrounding ourselves with support, and 3) Celebrating our progress. This is an essential episode for learning what reinvention requires so we can finally achieve our dreams.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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138 - Showing True Strength (Not Just Acting Tough)

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 31 Oct 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger explores the difference between acting tough and demonstrating strength. They’re not the same thing, though women in male-dominated fields often put up a facade of invincibility in an attempt to appear strong. True strength is in our ability to confront challenges and make decisions that align with our values. Cindy breaks down exactly what a tough exterior prevents that true strength cultivates.

Showing off mental toughness with a gritty exterior and emotions in check is not strength, it’s just an exhausting show that ultimately wears us down and keeps us anxious and in check for fear of seeming weak. True strength lies in recognizing struggles and admitting them, at least to ourselves, and in cultivating the ability to be honest. Cindy counters the tough exterior messages we get from the world at large with detailed examples of what real strength actually looks like.

When we show true strength, we are prioritizing our well-being and following things that align with our values and passions. The tough act does not allow us to change direction or admit burnout which is why it ultimately leads to unsustainable demands. Cindy understands how we’ve been conditioned but she explains exactly how true strength flies in the face of this societally expected toughness. Strength is in knowing when to ask for help, finding balance, and embracing the growth that comes only from our imperfections.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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137 - Change is Hard

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 24 Oct 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses change in this episode. Change is necessary to alter our career trajectories and meet our goals. But change also demands more than just ambition: it requires intention, perseverance, and the non-linear reality of doing things differently. It also requires facing things like systemic challenges and internal obstacles. Cindy offers guidance through the difficult, messy, and powerful subject of change.

One of the important points Cindy stresses is that change isn’t something that happens to us, it’s something we must actively pursue. It’s more than simply moving from point A to point B, it’s about taking control of our career and steering it ourselves. To help illustrate how to make significant life changes, Cindy explores the Stages of Change model developed in the early 1980s as a tool to describe behavioural change for addiction. It names the six stages of change as pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and relapse, which Cindy unpacks.

Making a lasting change often feels like being in a labyrinth without a clear view of the exit. We will hit dead ends, take wrong turns, and sometimes find ourselves back where we started. However, none of those setbacks mean we’re on the wrong path. It’s just that setbacks are part of the process of change. Cindy shares four strategies for navigating change, how to accept that the decision to change will require sustained and flexible effort, and why it will be worthwhile in the end.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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136 - What's Your Favorite Excuse

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 17 Oct 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about conquering the voice in our head that tells us we’re not ready for the career spotlight or big goal we’ve been working towards. Those excuses, while comforting in the short term, ultimately just hold us back from reaching our potential. But how do we confront those fears and step out of our comfort zones to claim the career success we know we actually deserve? That’s what Cindy will guide us through today.

There are a lot of reasons we have for not achieving our career ambitions at the moment. The excuses are plentiful and there’s always something we can point to that’s keeping us static. But the truth is that those excuses are what we use to protect us from the potential judgment or failure that stepping out on a limb may bring. Cindy knows we’re ready for the career spotlight and it’s time for us to take action to reach it. Time to meet the challenge and do something a little bit uncomfortable.

Cindy lists the four most common excuses for avoiding growth: 1) Comfort in familiarity, 2) Fear of rejection and failure, 3) The need for external validation, and 4) Waiting for the perfect moment. She then details three tips to help us break free from these excuses: 1) Do a self-assessment, 2) Take the first step, and 3) Make it about others. She elaborates on each step with sound advice. Our dreams are valid and we have every right to pursue them. Cindy wants to guide us into stepping up to achieve them instead of holding back out of fear.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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135 - Skepticism or Curiosity

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 10 Oct 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the transformative power of vulnerability that we often find difficult to embrace in this episode. Our natural instinct in the workplace is to keep our guard up, to protect ourselves from judgment and criticism. But vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, it’s a key to growth and connection. Cindy outlines how to start seeing vulnerability in a different light so we can unlock that growth in our careers.

It’s understandable that in a world seemingly thriving on jumping on exploiting our missteps we’d be guarded and protect our self-worth. But paradoxically the natural reaction of being wary and guarded to make ourselves feel secure is the same thing holding us back in our efforts to protect ourselves from judgment. Vulnerability builds trust. And trust is the key to a workplace where everyone can contribute and grow together. Cindy describes just how vulnerability can unlock our greatest potential with advice on how to be vulnerable with awareness.

Guardedness is skepticism. The skeptic in our lives may convince us to stay home Friday night to avoid anything bad happening. And sure, we’re safe, but we also don’t get to do anything. We don’t have any adventure. Curiosity, on the other hand, isn’t about reckless abandonment but rather opening our minds to exploration and seeing questions as opportunities. Curiosity lends to vulnerability and is a great asset in the workplace. Cindy unpacks all the ways in which being too protective limits us and shares four tips for embracing vulnerability in our professional lives. Her guidance will help us become more open to the growth potential around us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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134 - Be Selective With Whom You Associate

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 3 Oct 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger explores the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people. The right relationships can fuel growth, support, and challenge you to reach new heights, while the wrong ones may hinder your progress. Being selective in professional relationships requires choosing quality over quantity. Cindy encourages listeners to consider who they allow into their inner circle. She encourages finding trusted truth-tellers who offer honest feedback and alternative perspectives. She also highlights the importance of finding those people who share a growth mindset and are invested in your success.

While the topic of ending relationships can bring up anxiety and fear, Cindy examines the positive impact of distancing yourself from problematic people. This doesn’t mean throwing aside commitments or cutting people out cold turkey. Instead, thoughtfully pruning relationships that no longer serve a purpose can break the cycle of having them drain your energy or stagnate your growth.

Cindy also warns against the lingering influence of negative voices from the past, advocating for discernment when it comes to whose advice you follow. Ultimately, Cindy advises being mindful of the people you allow into your life, ensuring they inspire growth and align with your personal and professional goals.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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133 - Have the Difficult Conversation

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses difficult conversations in this episode: those dreaded conversations that involve challenging subjects or conflicts that need resolving. We would often prefer to avoid them but they’re necessary for preventing larger difficulties and problems down the road. Hard discussions are a part of growth and resolution and can’t be avoided forever. So learning to navigate difficult conversations like a pro is the easiest way to deal with their inevitability.

Avoiding difficult conversations will only make the issue worse in the future and addressing things early can prevent a much larger blow-up later. But broaching the subject is tough. We’re often afraid to address the problem and initiate the hard talk out of fear that we may make things worse. Cindy shares five tips for approaching these situations without making them worse: 1) define the problem, 2) identify what is wanted before starting the conversation, 3) decide how to address it, 4) stick to the facts and feelings, and 5) use the power of validation.

Cindy explains that while not every problem has a solution, addressing the tension is still important. She advises asking ourselves “Do we need to solve this problem or do we need to solve how we feel about this problem?”. Shifting perspective from finding a resolution to managing emotions and reactions to the problem can sometimes be more productive. Regardless of solutions, starting a difficult conversation is the most courageous thing we can do and will put us on a path towards fixing certain issues and forging stronger relationships. Cindy is here to shine a light on exactly how to navigate this rocky terrain.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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132 - Work to Close the Gap

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 19 Sep 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses closing the gap between where we are in our careers and where we want to be in this episode. She looks into using the discontent we can feel in our careers, sometimes unsettling and distracting, as a catalyst for advancement. Harnessing our professional discontent requires a careful strategy so we can use it to strive for a higher standard of excellence. Cindy breaks down exactly what is needed to channel it properly and guides us through how to bridge the gap we see.

It may be surprising to learn that the discomfort we feel when looking at the gap between where we are and where we want to be is natural. It’s actually necessary to keep us striving for excellence. But Cindy cautions that there is a balance between unhealthy anxiety and healthy discontent. She urges us to challenge the traditional narratives of success and define what is important to us. Setting a deliberate pace to cross the gap will change the trajectory of our careers more than a grand gesture. And there are three main types of gaps to close: 1) the effort gap, 2) the skill gap, and 3) the quality gap.

Cindy explains what it takes to close each gap and what to expect in terms of overcoming complacency and feeling discomfort. Finding balance and making strategic choices is key. We will hit obstacles as we move towards our goals and sometimes will feel stuck. When we are, Cindy unpacks five strategies for getting unstuck: 1) divide and conquer, 2) set micro-goals, 3) seek feedback, 4) focus on learning, not failure, and 5) assess progress. Join Cindy as she sets out a plan for how to bridge the gap on our career paths to success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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131 - The Arrival Fallacy

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the arrival fallacy in this episode. That belief that once we reach a certain milestone in our careers everything will fall into place, as if by magic, and we will arrive in perpetual happiness. We will have “made it” into the mythological destination where we enter reward and leave the struggle. This fallacy doesn’t actually work because rewards, experiences, professional growth, and fulfillment only occur as part of the journey, not as an arrival bonus. Cindy breaks down how to see the journey as fulfilling and abandon our obsession with instant gratification.

When we are only focused on the destination, the goal, and the end result, we tend to miss the transformative work in between. We tune out more, we rush things, we don’t want to learn. We simply want to arrive and be recognized. Cindy describes how to view the process of working as a reward in itself because of how it enriches our lives. She explains why going through the trials and grind of daily work to learn and flourish is ultimately better for our careers than immediate reward.

It’s difficult to shift out of the finish line mindset, so Cindy has three tips to make shifting into enjoying continual improvement easier: 1) Set process goals, 2) Celebrate the wins and learn from the losses, and 3) Reflect regularly. Cindy wants us to recognize that satisfaction in our career journey is kind of the point of our work. Fixating solely on the destination means we are never living in the now and are not learning how to grow beyond expectations. Join Cindy as she breaks down exactly why the arrival fallacy is exactly that, a fallacy.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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130 - Life is Messy

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 5 Sep 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the messiness of life and how what appears to be a series of obstacles is an integral part of our career journey. Navigating life’s messiness isn’t just about bouncing back but about embracing the new opportunities the experience may offer. It’s our reaction to the chaos that matters and Cindy is here to guide us on how to embrace the unexpected.

Rolling with life’s punches and working through life’s chaos can feel like a disheartening setback. But resilience is connected to confidence, so when we endure, our confidence grows when we realize we can survive whatever happens. Confidence is vital for career survival and Cindy has three strategies for maintaining confidence in the workplace: 1. Know our stuff, 2. Celebrate the wins, and 3. Speak up in meetings. Confidence and resilience are interconnected and we’ll need both to succeed.

It can still be difficult to embrace life’s messiness, however, and Cindy understands the struggle. Telling ourselves to enjoy the ride even if the journey is chaotic is one thing, but actually doing that is another. So Cindy offers three strategies for embracing the possibilities within the mess: 1. Look for opportunities in the unexpected, 2. Make flexibility our new best friend, and 3. Embrace the learning even when it’s tough. Cindy unpacks her strategies and lays out a solid plan for surviving and thriving through life’s messes, guidance useful no matter what stage of career we’re in.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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129 - It Might Be Obvious To You

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 29 Aug 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the stroke of brilliance ideas we sometimes have that we dismiss because it’s something that came too easily to us. Our sudden insights that we feel are too obvious to be of real value. It’s that self-discounting tendency that Cindy examines in detail because the truth is that what comes easily to us can be a genius revelation to someone else. We don’t all share the same skills. So what we think is simple may be a monumental insight to another person. Cindy wants us to start sharing those ideas instead of dismissing them.

Part of the complexity of human cognition is this belief that what seems effortless to us is of no value to anyone else. We fail to recognize that things we find obvious and easy may in fact be groundbreaking and valuable to someone else. Because we are all born out of different environments and experiences that shape us into being adept with some things and not others. We’re all different. So how do we overcome the paradox of thinking things that are easy to us are useless? Cindy says 1. Acknowledge that what’s obvious to us is not obvious to everyone, 2. Cultivate an environment that encourages the sharing of ideas, and 3. Challenge the desire for complexity.

Not everything valuable must be challenging. And not everything we innately understand is obvious to everyone else. Cindy urges us to start sharing those simple ideas to further our careers and our representations of our unique qualities. What we need is to learn how to communicate effectively so our ideas are received well. So Cindy unpacks how to speak up, why complacency is a dream killer, how making a mark involves breaking away from the status quo, and why our unique insights have immense power. This episode is our guide to learning not to stifle our individual gifts.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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128 - Your Work Shapes You

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 22 Aug 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines the trifecta of our work, our identity, and our self-awareness, breaking down where they complement each other and where we should define boundaries. Self-awareness allows us to distinguish between who we are and what we do. The value of our work is different from our worth as a human being. The distinctions between our professional and personal identity require a deep dive into self-awareness, a journey Cindy is here to guide us through.

Part of self-awareness is understanding ourselves on a deeper level, and one of the great influences on our journey is how we respond to stress. Cindy asks four questions to help us gauge our stress response: 1. When things get tough, do we step up or step back, 2. How do we handle criticism, 3. Do we reach out or shut down when the going gets tough, 4. What’s our conflict style? She then offers four strategies to help us manage those knee-jerk stress reactions.

With introspection of this type, we raise our self-awareness. That, in turn, allows us to define exactly who we are. It shapes our knowledge of our personal identity. Understanding who we are can then reflect positively on our professional identities, creating more opportunities for challenge and growth. Cindy highlights that our developed personal identity prevents us from over-identifying with our work. If we allow work to define who we are, we put our self-worth in the hands of a business decision or a boss. Cindy guides us through the perils of allowing work to become our identity and offers keen insight to aid us in self-awareness in this episode.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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127 - Discernment Versus Judgment

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 15 Aug 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the inevitability of workplace conflict by differentiating between using discernment over judgment to navigate the tension. Since workplaces are comprised of people and people each have their own struggles and lives going on unseen, tension is inevitable. Not taking things personally and approaching conflict with a desire to listen and get to the core issue are some of the strategies Cindy encourages us to adopt.

As strange as it may seem to the conflict-avoidant, challenges aren’t just inevitable, they’re necessary. Challenges drive us to push the envelope, innovate, and keep the office interesting. It’s how we go about disagreeing with each other that needs attention, not the fact that we do disagree. Cindy offers advice on how to step back from reacting personally to things that simply aren’t personal and instructs us on how to approach healthy conflict that seeks true resolution.

Leadership requires dealing with storms head-on. Tension must be acknowledged and the root cause must be unearthed so the tension can ultimately become a tool for growth. Leaders must learn how to address issues rather than letting them fester but also how to work for truth in resolution rather than rush to smooth things over with false comfort. Cindy guides us through learning discernment in conflict and holding back judgment until we can truly understand what a conflict is about. Her advice makes conflict less of a terrifying notion and more of an opportunity to learn.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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126 - Create Your Own Through Line

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 8 Aug 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how to break free of mediocrity and create a personal through line of success in our careers. Settling for good enough is the easy choice but it won’t lead to the career we dream of. We need to craft that career by defining our goals and taking risks. Cindy examines how to move past adequate into extraordinary in our journey.

We can feel like a cog in the machine at times, just checking off boxes and tasks to embrace the illusion of progress. But if we don’t understand where we personally want to go in our careers, this mediocrity cycle feeds itself through increased demands and our inability to imagine doing more than the bare minimum. Cindy urges us to push past our comfort zones to understand our mission and shares insight on how to define what we truly want to start working towards that goal.

The path to success is not a straight linear line or a single corporate ladder. Cindy points out that it involves zigzags, meanderings, and bold choices that may not seem connected to a goal but that we know are right for us in the moment. She offers three questions to ask ourselves to determine our next career steps: 1. What are we genuinely interested in? 2. What unique skills do we possess that are in demand? and 3. What emerging opportunities or trends excite us? With Cindy’s guidance in this episode, we may find a way to shake ourselves off a mediocre path to embrace a new through line.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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125 - Is Your Fear Keeping You Safe

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 1 Aug 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger explores the fear surrounding taking risks in our careers in this episode. Our perception of risk is deeply personal, informed by our experiences, biases, and the professional landscapes we navigate. Since our perceptions of risks are colored by our self-confidence, how do we assess the actual risk? And what is the right amount of risk to take? Assessing and moving past the fear of risk in all its variations is what Cindy unpacks today.

When we’re new to a situation, a career or a job, we tend to be more willing to take risks due to an overabundance of confidence. With experience comes the knowledge of consequences and memories of times when risk-taking pushed us backwards instead of propelling us forward into success. Our self-confidence takes a hit and we become more risk-averse. Cindy explains that the key is not to avoid risk but to learn how to assess it properly, gather as much information as possible, and understand the risk we’re facing as well as the gains it could deliver.

Cindy shares three tips to boost our confidence and help us get comfortable with taking a bit of a risk. 1) Become informed before leaping, 2) Make a few small bets on ourselves, and 3) Cultivate a growth mindset. She illustrates the value of sharing the knowledge gained from risks taken with those coming behind us, becoming a source of information for those facing similar situations. She reminds us that each of us has an individual threshold for risk that we need to both understand and challenge as we grow. There is a way to face the fear of risk not by shying away but by informing ourselves and preparing for the best approach to the risk.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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124 - Notice Then Appreciate

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 25 Jul 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses changing our negative mindset about work to one of appreciating small victories and noting positive experiences. We’re often pushed hard in the daily grind and aren’t encouraged to stop and note what’s going right. When we focus only on the negative, we lose sight of how far we’ve come and what possibilities exist in the future. Cindy has advice on how to change our mindset to one of appreciation.

This isn’t advice to slap superficial cheerfulness or false positivity on top of things, rather Cindy is encouraging us to take the time to notice every small thing that goes right. She notes the difference between gratitude and appreciation to demonstrate the foundational quality of appreciation. We tend to skip over positives in favor of highlighting errors in ourselves and each other which makes us feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Noting and appreciating things gives us space to celebrate achievements and feel valuable which in turn leads to more job satisfaction and openness to accept new challenges.

Cindy shares four tips on how to take notice of and appreciate something positive today. 1. Start the day with a positive inventory, 2. Pause any interaction or accomplishment, 3. Create a brag folder for compliments, and 4. End the day on a high note. Cindy explains why these tips are beneficial and what outcomes they can lead to. We need to understand that starting to appreciate things in ourselves and others is like a pebble in a pond: the ripples extend far beyond us and improve everyone’s experience.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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123 - Is It Time to Call It Quits

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 18 Jul 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about making a major career change in this episode. When do we decide to change course in our career path, quit our job, or move to a new endeavour? How do we know if it’s the right choice? Cindy examines what to evaluate when making career direction decisions, from how to gauge our current job satisfaction to what aligns best with our values and future career goals.

The desire to alter our current job situation is one that requires careful consideration. Sometimes the choice is between staying or jumping ship, but before we make such an enormous choice, have we really evaluated our current job satisfaction level? What if there were other things we could change to improve our current job and align it more directly with our overall career ambitions? Cindy asks us to consider small-scale changes to improve things in the present. She offers three steps for evaluating what changes to make.

If a complete job change is what is needed, oftentimes it’s fear that holds us back from making the choice. Fear of quitting, of losing the time already invested. Cindy explains how to navigate that fear and how to prepare for the extra work that creating new opportunities brings. Ultimately, the decision to stay put, implement smaller changes, or leave for a new job altogether should be made out of a position of strength, not desperation. Cindy’s advice lays out all the reasoning to work through to make an informed and empowered decision.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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122 - Boundaries, Not More Self-Care

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the self-care craze that has become less about caring for ourselves and more of a quick-fix industry. She explores setting healthy boundaries to reclaim our power and encourage us to manage life’s stresses. Self-care is important but it means more than a scented candle or something we can buy. Part of self-care is doing internal work to determine what we want and need, and what limits we have to set.

The rage and frustration we can feel while pushing back against an oppressive or toxic work culture while balancing too many stressors is what leads to burnout. An externally applied fix, something we buy or a ritual we perform, may make us feel slightly better in the short term but does nothing to protect us from future harm or continued stressors. Cindy’s definition of self-care is a process, not a product. It involves setting limits and prioritizing personal well-being over productivity.

As Cindy points out, true self-care is not always comfortable. It can be challenging and messy as we work through emotional upheaval to change our life situations in order to thrive. She offers insight from her own experiences with change, boundaries, and reclaiming our power as a survival skill. What she shares explores how boundaries safeguard mental and emotional health and lead to long-term shifts that bolster self-care and create sustainable relationships in the future. Boundaries aren’t as easy as a bubble bath but they’re much longer lasting in their effects.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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121 - Strong, Calm and Kind

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 4 Jul 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger explores the necessity of emotional intelligence in leadership, delving into why responding to challenges with calm and kindness promotes a healthy work environment. It also paves the way for both leader and team to achieve more sustainable success and growth. But how do we learn to avoid volatility in the face of struggle and what strategies promote quiet strength?

Working our way up the corporate ladder isn’t just a series of milestones but a transformative experience that shapes us both professionally and personally. With that growth, it’s inevitable to experience both trepidation and excitement as horizons broaden. Uncertainty and self-doubt can take hold. It’s in learning to battle this imposter syndrome and seek assistance that we discover how to treat ourselves with grace and extend calm and kindness outward. How to lead not with emotional turmoil but a steady hand.

Cindy discusses all the ways in which grappling with ourselves is necessary in order to advance and also lead effectively. She notes that we aren’t born being strong, calm and kind but that we learn through experience and practice how to cultivate those traits. She lays out six strategies for harnessing inner strength: 1. Confront imposter syndrome, 2. Cultivate inner confidence, 3. Manage emotions, 4. Let go of baggage, 5. Take responsibility, and 6. Replace fear with learning. As she unpacks each step, she imparts a clear path forward through emotional resilience instead of volatility.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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120 - Be Someone Worth Listening To

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 27 Jun 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the art of communication in today’s episode. If people aren’t listening when we speak, it’s time for a self-assessment. How are we presenting ourselves? Speaking isn’t just saying something, it’s about presenting a message in a manner that engages the audience. So if we aren’t being listened to, are we the problem? And if so, how do we become a compelling speaker?

The first step in getting others to listen to us is believing what we’re saying. If we don’t believe our own message, how can we expect others to? People are drawn to confidence and clarity, both of which are signs that the speaker knows what they’re offering. Having confidence in our message is vital so Cindy offers four tips for helping us communicate confidently: 1. Know the topic, 2. Practice, 3. Anticipate questions, and 4. Visualize success.

The art of effective communication requires preparation, identifying a main message to build supporting points around, and then understanding how to present it engagingly. The tone of voice, body language, and clear speech, all of these factors combine to help draw audiences into what is being said. Cindy notes that “effective communication is not just about what you say, but how you say it” but acknowledges that it takes practice. She shares five tips for conveying confidence through body language and solid advice on how to demonstrate authenticity, connect with an audience, and prepare the message being conveyed.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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119 - Generosity Versus Manipulation

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines how the scarcity mindset, which seems prudent to adopt in today’s competitive market, can negatively impact our worldview. Adopting a mindset of generosity instead paves the way for more fulfilling relationships and potentially a more successful career trajectory. But sincere generosity is different from the self-serving kind that seeks to manipulate with kind gestures. How are they different? How can we shift our thinking to generosity while avoiding manipulation?

The scarcity mindset operates from a place of believing there isn’t enough to go around and sparks fear of losing what we have. It can lead to excessive caution and to a competitive environment where our success must be at the expense of others. Generosity, however, doesn’t simply mean financial giving but encompasses sharing knowledge, time, and expertise. It views resources as expansive, rather than finite. Manipulation lies in bending this generosity into one defined by its intent, such as exploiting another’s weakness.

How can we integrate encouragement, a type of generosity, into our everyday lives? Cindy has three ways: 1. Be specific, 2. Recognize effort, not just achievement, and 3. Encourage peer recognition. Celebrating the success of others can not only enhance a career but enrich emotional well-being. Cindy explains the many ways generosity can be expressed without manipulation or self-interest and breaks down why generosity is so important in succeeding both personally and professionally.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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118 - Assume the Best

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 13 Jun 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the detrimental effect of rising stress levels and changing workplace priorities on our interactions with others. In these days where stress is an inevitable part of our daily lives, it’s more important than ever to maintain positive relationships with colleagues. Our stress affects our patience, making us assume the worst of those we work with when we need to learn how to assume the best.

Juggling multiple tasks, looming deadlines, and the demand for high-performance standards all increase our stress levels while simultaneously wearing our patience thin and causing us to misinterpret simple things like a missed email or misunderstood directive. We assume that the other person is ignoring us, or worse, attacking us in some way. We never stop to consider that they may simply be as stressed and busy as we are and that the missed email was a simple mistake. Assuming the worst leads us to say things we regret and erodes the important trust we need to maintain with our colleagues.

How can we break the cycle of negativity? We need to strive to assume the best of each other. Cindy shares five practical steps designed to aid us in assuming positive intent: 1) Pause and reflect, 2) Communicate openly instead of jumping to conclusions, 3) Practice empathy, 4) Focus on solutions, not blame, and 5) Celebrate contributions. In this episode, Cindy breaks down the steps in detail and instructs us on how to handle difficult managers and personalities, control our emotions, and look at things objectively. Her advice paves the way for assuming the best, not the worst, from those we work with.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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117 - Beware of Expectation Escalation

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 6 Jun 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the phenomenon known as expectation escalation in today’s episode. Expectation escalation is the subtle challenge of incrementally increased demands and responsibilities placed on employees. It expands our work exponentially without associated time or monetary increase to accommodate the new work. What does it look like? How can we identify it? And better yet, how can we politely and professionally turn down these escalated expectations? Cindy unpacks these questions with salient answers.

The escalation starts innocently, with an additional responsibility here and there added to your workload as a testament to your capabilities. And certainly, professionals thrive on challenges. A certain amount of natural job expansion is to be expected. But the problem with expansion expectations is the lack of stability, resources, or systems in place to manage the new challenges effectively. The first consequences are usually emotional ones, as we feel overburdened and undervalued. Cindy walks us through how the expectations affect us and how we can rebalance our workload.

If rebalancing the workload isn’t available or the expectations have risen to a degree that no amount of balance will alleviate how over capacity we are, Cindy explores how we can say no without jeopardizing our careers and current job status. She offers examples of pocket phrases to prepare in advance so we can easily sidestep requests to take on more and counsels on the mindset shift necessary to perfect the art of saying no. Her guidance directs us to evaluate our feelings and capacity, how to have difficult conversations with supervisors, and ultimately why unaddressed expectation escalation can damage our well-being.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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116 - When To Walk Away

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 30 May 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the art of negotiation and how frequently we approach it with uncertainty despite how much negotiation infiltrates our daily lives. To assist in feeling confident in a negotiation, Cindy discusses how to establish a walkaway point as a strategy for reaching an outcome we can live with. She guides us through making a negotiation plan that will empower us.

One of the reasons we tend to fear negotiation is the fear of confrontation and not achieving an ideal outcome. This is increased by the common misconception that negotiation is only for executives closing multi-million dollar deals. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Negotiation is a fundamental life skill encompassing everything from sharing household chores to getting a child to eat their vegetables. And like children, who are innately brilliant negotiators, we should approach negotiation with the same tenacity.

Cindy shares some of the psychology behind negotiation and how to use that to improve the quality of our interactions. Knowing when to push and when to walk away is a key strategy in negotiating. Creating a plan beforehand is vital, as setting realistic expectations and a minimum baseline are what imbue us with confidence. Cindy describes the process of making such a plan, how to determine strategic concessions, and how to create a plan B. Hearing Cindy’s advice and putting it into action for our next negotiation will give us a sense of power and transform how we approach the discussion.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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115 - How You Want to Feel

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 23 May 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In today's episode, Cindy Esliger examines our careers and career satisfaction. Are we simply adhering to the conventional benchmarks that society labels as success? Or are we pursuing personal fulfillment and doing what genuinely motivates us? To reevaluate how we define success, Cindy dives into our inspirations, where we find courage, and how to assess our emotions. We might be ready for a shift that takes us away from the corporate ladder but closer to our personal satisfaction.

Cindy asks if our careers should focus on crafting an impressive resume, following a linear and logical career path, or if we should examine what truly energizes us when decision-making. It is possible to hold a senior position or be at a high level in a career yet feel stagnated. So how do we define career success? Is it time to reevaluate those metrics with Cindy’s help?

Conforming to a traditional career path for the sake of external rewards can be exhausting if our emotional well-being isn’t satisfied by our work. We need to move away from the approval of others and nurture a sense of personal fulfillment. Cindy pulls on her own experience with a major career shift to illustrate how sometimes the dictated path isn’t the one that breeds satisfaction. She offers insight on how to reflect on our journey, how to make decisions that steer in the right direction, and why aligning work with inner self is such an important thing to do.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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114 - How You Do Anything

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 16 May 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In today's episode, Cindy Esliger unpacks the adage “How you do anything is how you do everything”. How we approach all tasks, big or small, demonstrates our consistency and our broader values. We can be in charge of how we are viewed by consciously deciding what we want to be known for and how we want to show up in the workplace. Cindy guides us through how to approach making that decision.

The first step is to identify our professional identity. Cindy says whether it’s our leadership or reliability, whatever it is, make sure it aligns with our values and goals. When unplanned things happen, as they always do, how we respond should be intentional and align with what we’ve chosen as our professional identity. Cindy discusses practical tips for determining our professional identity based on five key characteristics of successful people.

Cindy examines and connects the areas of effective communication, active listening, continuous learning, seeking feedback, integrity, adaptability, and more to building our professional identity. She also guides us through developing productive work habits. What do we procrastinate on? How do we approach meetings? There are many ways we can improve our work patterns through small changes and overall transform our professional reputation to align with our goals.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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113 - Bravery or Boldness

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 9 May 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In today's episode, Cindy Esliger examines the differences between boldness and bravery. Although the terms are often used interchangeably, they are different and understanding the distinction between them is important for navigating workplace culture. Cindy defines each and offers insight on how to foster what is needed for career success.

Boldness and bravery appear the same at a surface glance. However, as Cindy explains, boldness pushes boundaries and often leads to the pursuit of visionary ideas. However, it can also mask vulnerabilities and is more reactive than reflective. Whereas bravery is marked by a deep engagement with reality, including acknowledgement of fears and limitations. It involves risk assessment and the willingness to make hard choices.

How do the differences between boldness and bravery play out in a workplace setting? That’s what Cindy explores, unpacking how the use of each results in a different impact on self and others. Learning to identify boldness in others allows us to understand when the limitations of boldness arise and gives us insight into how to foster bravery instead when needed. Cindy offers guidance and practical advice on five ways to use both boldness and bravery to our advantage at work.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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112 - You Will Figure It Out

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 2 May 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In today's episode, Cindy Esliger challenges the myth that all successful people have everything figured out. The belief that at some point in our career, we will cease to struggle and achieve clarity on every front is a narrative that distorts our perception of success. Cindy debunks the notion of a one-size-fits-all path to professional success and explores how continuing experiences contribute to wisdom.

Believing in a secret blueprint, precise formula, or hidden manual for success creates unnecessary pressure and unrealistic expectations for us. Instead, what truly matters is our own journey and the adaptation and self-discovery we navigate along the way. Cindy discusses the relationship between experience and wisdom, promoting the necessity of striving and lifelong learning to attain career success.

Cindy believes we must challenge ourselves at every stage of our careers and embrace the complexity of what achievement requires. She explains why the journey outside our comfort zone opens us to opportunities and knowledge. How do we embrace this uncertainty and retain optimism? She outlines three practical steps: 1. Set achievable goals, 2. Develop a flexible mindset, and 3. Visualize success and plan for challenges. This episode will challenge our ideas of unlocking a secret formula to success that negates challenges and shows why the continuing journey is so vital.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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111 - It's Not Better There Than Here

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 25 Apr 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger challenges the belief that achieving future success will be what makes us happy. Achieving a goal is a milestone but if we don’t value the journey along the way as much as the end result, we won’t be happy when we get there. Cindy examines why the journey, especially the first part of a journey full of obstacles, is important to our career development and success and how determination factors in.

Determination is a life skill that’s key to overcoming challenges and obstacles in our paths. Since it’s through adversity that we more clearly understand our strengths and potential, determination is a skill we should look to cultivate. Cindy discusses why the discouragement of mistakes and fear of failure instilled in us in youth follows us into adulthood and robs us of our determination. She has advice on how to regain that determination.

Fostering determination is what aids us in pushing through adversity and adversity is what teaches us, shapes us, and builds our strength throughout our journey. Appreciating this journey is key to appreciating our experiences and potential, and discovering who we really are. Cindy explores the many setbacks and failures that are inevitable as well as how our determination drives us toward our goal. Her advice is vital to acknowledging that success lies as much in the journey as in achieving the goal.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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110 - Notice the Patterns

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 18 Apr 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines how our patterns of behavior and decision-making are ingrained along the course of our lives and can influence outcomes on our journey. How do we recognize these patterns that are often deeply ingrained and subtle? Identifying them will help us single out limiting behaviors and free us to achieve greater success. Cindy guides us in finding and working on our innate patterns.

There is a direct relationship between patterns and possibilities. When we can understand what our habits are and how those habits and decision-making processes operate, we can start to anticipate what comes next and steer our futures. Cindy sets us the challenge of recognizing our patterns. In women especially, there are often two limiting patterns in the workplace that we need to single out.

Change is difficult so Cindy offers advice on how to overcome our comfort in habits and resistance to change. Part of it is building resilience to setbacks and finding the stepping stones in failure that drive us forward. Her three tips for enhancing an ability after experiencing a setback are 1. Content learning, 2. Flexibility and planning, and 3. Developing emotional intelligence. Cindy discusses the importance of self-compassion, cultivating pattern recognition skills, and finding ways to adapt when challenging the patterns holding us back. Learn how these skills can free us from limiting behaviors and propel us to success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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109 - Your Perception of Time

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 11 Apr 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger introduces us to the notion of the productivity illusion in today’s episode. The productivity illusion is the mindset that says the primary goal of work is to increase output and gather a list of accomplishments. However, productivity should exist in a balance between being productive for its own sake and harnessing efficiency as a tool to reclaim time for other things in life. Cindy explores productivity and how to make our days more fulfilling.

The drive to push, do more, be more, and achieve more is largely fueled by the productivity illusion which equates being productive with the ultimate goal of happiness, success, and fulfillment. It celebrates being busy as a badge of honor. Cindy unravels the productivity illusion to show how it can be misleading and discusses productivity as a purposeful journey instead of an endless chase.

She explores the need to delegate and deprioritize tasks that don’t contribute to our career objectives, rather than simply chalking them up as things to do. She explains the concept of the 80/20 rule, or the Pareto Principle, and identifies how the greatest achievements often come from the least amount of tasks. Cindy offers the idea of personalizing productivity, simplifying our approaches, and enjoying free time guilt-free as part of her explanation of how to break the productivity illusion.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Guide to Intentional Productivity
Astronomic Audio
Confidence Collective
“The 80/20 Rule And How It Can Change Your Life” by Kevin Kruse for Forbes.com (Pareto Principle)

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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108 - Name It to Tame It

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 4 Apr 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In today’s episode, Cindy Esliger talks about fear, specifically the fear that can hinder career growth. It may appear as imposter syndrome, perfectionism, or questioning self-worth, but it can take a toll. Sometimes it can be overcome by reframing it. Words have power and Cindy explains why the way you talk to yourself matters.

The three major fears - imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and questioning self-worth - can impact success in professional settings. Cindy offers a three-step process to help overcome them: 1. Name it, 2. Tame it, and 3. Claim it. She discusses each step in depth, exploring where each of the fears stems from, their impacts, and why the power of words can combat the fear. A shift in language encourages a mindset of progress and resilience.

Cindy’s advice identifies where the pain points in our professional lives arise. We tend to let the fear take over, internalizing it instead of reframing it. The power of language, using words to acknowledge our fear and address the feelings surrounding it, can make a difference and spark self-confidence in us. This is what Cindy talks about, where within ourselves the transformative key lies and how to access it. Overcoming fear means harnessing power and overcoming obstacles and both are required to achieve successful career growth.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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107 - The Longer You Stay

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In today’s episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the subject of gaslighting. Gaslighting is a term that’s used a lot because it is a prevalent form of undermining and manipulation that often exists in professional environments. Why do people employ the use of gaslighting? How can we recognize it? And what long-term impact does it have on us? Cindy dives into the explanations and advice surrounding gaslighting.

Gaslighting can take various forms, from dismissing or trivializing our concerns to denying facts or events that have happened. People use gaslighting to maintain or advance their own position in the workplace and it’s effective because it sows doubt in the target and disempowers them. Cindy explains how gaslighting works to erode confidence and details the ways it can cause cumulative stress and an emotional toll that can contribute to mental health issues.

Cindy’s advice for counteracting gaslighting partially involves conducting a self-assessment that builds belief in ourselves that is independent of the opinions of others. Relying on external validation can open the door for gaslighting to be effective. Cindy’s five tips and strategies for building that belief are, 1. Self-reflection, 2. Constructive feedback, 3. Setting personal goals, 4. Self-compassion, and 5. Developing our skills. She shares warning signs, advice for empowerment, and ways to restore lost self-confidence in this necessary and important episode.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

106 - Burnout or Betrayal

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 21 Mar 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about two challenges commonly faced in the workplace, burnout and feelings of betrayal, and explores the distinctions between the two. Each has unique characteristics that are important to recognize to protect ourselves from their detrimental effects. Cindy carefully defines burnout and betrayal with advice on how to identify symptoms and contributing factors.

Cindy details three characteristics of burnout: 1) exhaustion, 2) cynicism and detachment, and 3) feelings of ineffectiveness. She then discusses four distinct characteristics that differentiate burnout from feelings of betrayal: 1) origin and focus, 2) internal versus external factors, 3) physical and emotional impact, and 4) responsibility and blame. Understanding the differences is key to promoting a supportive and healthy work environment.

Trust is one of the fundamental elements forming the groundwork for all successful professional relationships in the workplace. Cindy explains why trust and trust violations profoundly impact us and how the erosion of trust leads to toxic work environments that include burnout and feelings of betrayal. She highlights ways for us to express our concerns and take proactive steps to protect ourselves and offers advice on how not to give in to feelings of helplessness. This episode is an important resource for finding our footing through deliberate action and setting boundaries against burnout and betrayal.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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105 - Fight Fair

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 14 Mar 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses office politics and the necessity of engaging in them with integrity. While the term often carries a negative connotation, office politics can positively impact your career and recognizing the dynamics of office politics is crucial for anyone with ambition. It is possible to be strategic and ethical and Cindy shares exactly how to do this within your organization.

Right away Cindy lists four benefits of engaging in office politics with integrity: 1. Builds trust and credibility, 2. Enhances political reputation, 3. Strengthens interpersonal relationships, and 4. Mitigates risks and challenges. Maintaining ethical standards allows us to form positive connections without getting entangled in behaviors that lead to damaged reputations or unpleasant consequences.

Cindy details the behaviors we want to avoid engaging in as they are likely to contribute to a toxic workplace. Genuine relationships are always preferable and those are founded by seeking common ground and showing sincere interest in colleagues. When conflicts do arise, however, Cindy has advice for how to handle them: 1. Actively listen, 2. Choose the right place and time, 3. Focus on the issue, not the person, and 4. Involve others in finding a solution. Cindy’s experience shows how to have a proactive approach to prevent misunderstandings and forge a supportive network. Following her advice will aid in becoming more politically savvy.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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104 - Keep Them Talking

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Mar 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the pivotal role asking open-ended questions and keenly listening to the answers plays, not just in effective communication, but in navigating office politics. Why should we learn to listen better and why would we want to keep colleagues talking? As Cindy points out, learning more about people’s views and motives leads to understanding what drives them and being able to connect.

Cultivating active listening skills is how we elevate our communication strategies. Active listening is not just hearing the words being said but involves a genuine effort to understand the speaker’s perspective and message. Coupled with reflective listening, summarizing what was said to ensure you understand, this is a powerful tool for improving office politics. Cindy explains all the nuances of engagement, including focus and body language, that improve our listening.

There is so much more to listening than simply not talking. Cindy lays out all the tools at our disposal, all the ways in which we can school ourselves to listen openly, ask open questions, reflect the speaker’s words to ensure understanding, and move the listening into a collaborative conversation. She narrows in on how to teach ourselves to modulate our voice and tone while also interpreting the tone others use and picking up subtle communication cues that allow deeper insight into a colleague’s stance. These are the ways in which we make progress through office dynamics and form valuable connections to aid in our growth.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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103 - Consider the Source

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 29 Feb 2024 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about the pivotal role feedback plays in professional growth. However, while constructive feedback is important, it’s equally important to learn how to navigate the critiques and understand who is offering the feedback. Not everyone will have our best interests at heart, so how can we learn to be more self-reliant and critical in assessing feedback?

The mutual exchange of constructive feedback is key to innovation and collaboration in the workplace. It lays the groundwork for growth and success. The challenge lies in distinguishing between well-intentioned feedback and feedback that has ulterior motives behind it. Cindy discusses the importance of trusting our instincts and learning not to constantly need external validation to make our decisions.

When we receive unwarranted negative criticism, it’s key not to internalize that negativity. Cindy shares five tips for navigating harmful criticism: 1. Pause and reflect, 2. Seek clarification, 3. Focus on the constructive elements, 4. Engage trusted advisors, and 5. Learn to disregard. She elaborates on how to put these tips into action and discusses how to develop a strong positive self-image, one that bolsters confidence. Learn how to seek and respond to the right feedback with Cindy.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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102 - There Is Still Work To Be Done

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 22 Feb 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the work that still needs to be done by women to improve their experiences in the workplace. Though workplaces have evolved and strides have been made, things are changing very slowly so for true change to happen, women need to focus energy on what is within their control. What behaviors and attitudes will positively impact what is experienced at work?

The road to change is not a comfortable one. Shifting your mindset involves looking inward to acknowledge the internal work that must be done to affect external issues. However, Cindy stresses that the long-term benefits will be worthwhile. She also identifies five ways to improve your experience at work: 1) Assessing your mindset, 2) Owning your achievements, 3) Setting boundaries, 4) Embracing challenges, and 5) Advocating for yourself.

As Cindy goes through each of the five points, she explores how positive influences are required, stresses that you need to stop downplaying your accomplishments and experience, and examines how a change in perspective about setbacks and challenges will result in growth. The work everyone needs to do internally holds the power to change workplace experiences. Cindy illustrates how changing mindsets will shape professional encounters for the better and pave the way for greater success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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101 - Taming Tough Negotiations

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 15 Feb 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger tackles the issue of negotiation in this episode. Negotiation is a part of life, it’s a skill we all engage in and one which allows us to navigate through different perspectives to reach mutually satisfying agreements. But there is a disconnect between the way men and women view negotiations in professional capacities and many of us lack negotiation skills. How can we learn the art of negotiation?

Negotiation involves a multitude of different views and skills. Confidence becomes of paramount importance to successful negotiations and part of that confidence can come from understanding the nuances of communication styles. We need to learn to break free of societal expectations, the fear of being demanding, and our innate struggle to assert our needs. Cindy shares how to prepare for negotiations in mindset and willingness to collaborate.

Cindy also has three steps on how to deal with dirty tricks during a negotiation: 1. Recognize the tactic, 2. Raise the issue, and 3. Question the legitimacy and desirability of the tactic. While she breaks down each of these steps, she reiterates the best way to approach a negotiation and how to keep our calm and maintain emotional control throughout. Navigating negotiations takes practice, but with advice, Cindy makes it achievable.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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100 - At What Cost

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 8 Feb 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the cost of attempting to succeed in our chosen professions. Women in male-dominated fields feel this especially acutely because visible ambitions can negatively impact the speed of a woman’s advancement. We become hesitant to set lofty goals or pursue what we want in order to make others feel less threatened. But that costs us. And the price is too high.

There are so many things we do to fit in, find approval or not impact the status quo that take a toll on our careers and ambitions. Things like resistance to change once we’ve established security in our role. The inclination to be everything to everyone, thus burning ourselves out. Allowing others to dictate our opportunities to avoid conflict or discomfort. These behaviors may seem easier in the moment but they cost us career satisfaction, personal growth, and upward trajectories.

Cindy’s advice, in part, is to “get comfortable with making other people uncomfortable”. We need to start vocalizing our career aspirations and desire for new challenges. We need to stop accepting subpar compensation. The direction Cindy urges us to take is one of self-confidence and internal validation. External validation keeps us trapped. The reasons for breaking free of the manipulations of others are many, especially in the professional world. It’s time we examined the true cost of giving in for the sake of ease.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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99 - Self-Sabotage

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 1 Feb 2024 06:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about our conscious and sometimes unconscious tendencies to self-sabotage our own success. When we begin engaging in things that hinder our success, such as procrastination, lack of confidence, or self-doubt, we tend to behave in ways that support those feelings and prevent us from succeeding. Why is this? And how do we break out of the cycle of reinforcing our doubt through self-sabotage?

We first need to take responsibility for the self-sabotaging behaviors. We need to acknowledge and identify the specific things contributing to our self-sabotage. We need to learn how to advocate for ourselves and create a strong support system around us. Who are the people encouraging our personal growth and who are toxic and reinforcing self-sabotaging thoughts? Cindy explains why addressing behavior and beliefs is so vital to growth.

Cindy also details six things we commonly do to sabotage our success: 1. Focus on the past, 2. Focus on what we don’t have, 3. Compare ourselves to others, 4. Focus on things we can’t control, 5. Get discouraged, and 6. Get distracted. Cindy gets into detail about these habits and how we can recognize and disrupt them. She offers real insight into the mindset changes we need to embrace to break free of self-sabotage and increase our personal success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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98 - Unapologetically You

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 25 Jan 2024 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses navigating life authentically in this episode. Being unapologetically ourselves is difficult when we crave acceptance and learn to conform or apologize for our natural selves. But living life being dimmed down by social expectations doesn’t allow us to live free from the weight of the other’s opinions. So just how do we start to live unapologetically?

There is often negative backlash surrounding those who live unapologetically. Labels like “selfish” or “arrogant” get applied. While it is important that authenticity co-exist with respect for others, that’s not the same as trying to please everyone and tamping down our self-expression to suit everyone’s needs but our own. Cindy states five ways that being ourselves improves our lives: 1. We get braver, 2. We live according to our own rules, 3. We realize how toxic people can be, 4. We’re no longer trying to impress everyone, and 5. It becomes harder for people to bring us down.

Real satisfaction comes from impressing our toughest critics: ourselves. When we live authentically, we are empowered to care less about the opinions of others. Cindy offers a four-step process for becoming unapologetically ourselves: 1. Embrace the real us, 2. Stop apologizing for who we are, 3. Set healthy limits, and 4. Tackle our fears. She explores each step in detail and explains the power of boundaries, communication, and honing the art of respectful confidence. Join Cindy to learn how to be unapologetically individual.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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97 - Diminishing Yourself

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 18 Jan 2024 06:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how the natural human tendency to compare ourselves to others can become a trap. Comparison can be a helpful guide but these days it has become a way to diminish ourselves and something of a harmful habit. So how can we identify it and break the cycle?

Comparison isn’t limited to quick moments of self-judgement. It can become a shadow hanging over every aspect of our lives, a deep psychological phenomenon that damages relationships, self-confidence, and mental well-being. Social media and constant access to the carefully curated lives of others have spiked comparison that turns into diminishing ourselves. Cindy explains how we need to understand that it’s happening and offers ways to counter it.

Cindy shares information about the links between negative self-talk and stress, anxiety and depression. Comparison can be at the root of this. So she offers eight practical tips for rewriting the self-sabotaging narrative to focus on our unique journey: 1. Practice gratitude, 2. Name your inner critic, 3. Be your own best friend, 4. Unlock the power of contentment, 5. Keep a record of achievements, 6. Celebrate other people, 7. Keep the comparison within, and 8. Look, notice, appreciate. Join Cindy as she lays out a plan to free us from diminishment.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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96 - Setting and Achieving Goals

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 11 Jan 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about setting goals, both short and long-term, and the necessity of also having a plan for achieving them. January is a time when we traditionally make resolutions that we often fail to keep. We don’t want career goals to be the same. So how can we set goals and not give them up along the way?

It’s important to note that goals don’t have to be set on January first. We can set goals any time we like, at the start of June or on a random Tuesday. What’s important is having a starting point so we can then plan a strategy. Cindy shares five tricks to help us develop effective strategies for goal setting and achievement: 1. Find our why, 2. Visualize the future, 3. Make the process of change more attractive, 4. Understand the power of emotions, and 5. Applaud our efforts.

Cindy unpacks each of those five tricks to reveal roadblocks we encounter and ways to combat procrastination. She talks about setting realistic timelines, letting go of perfectionism, and maintaining new daily habits that help us progress. Her advice will shed light on why goals are so important to set, but why having a solid strategic plan for achieving them is possibly even more important.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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95 - Solve For Happy

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 4 Jan 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explains the idea of solving for happiness. Solving for happiness as a concept has gained increasing attention in recent years. It involves identifying factors that contribute to our well-being and taking action to cultivate more of these things in our daily lives. Cindy shares how to go about ensuring this happiness.

We spend a significant portion of our lives at work or working so the quality of our professional lives can have an impact on our overall happiness. In the stress and challenge of the work environment, it gets hard to remain positive. But if we’re happy at work, we’ll experience improved health and performance. We will never be happy every single moment at work, that’s not realistic, but it’s important to identify all the factors, not just pay, that contribute to our happiness and ensure they’re present.

Cindy identifies all the factors that can affect job satisfaction, positively and negatively, and encourages us to assess our workplaces to ensure they are aligned with our values. Happiness is largely something cultivated within which is why solving for happiness involves self-assessment and intentionally promoting the things that fulfill us. Cindy offers six tips for creating happiness in our careers and reminds us to take charge of our own happiness.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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94 - Boredom Has Its Benefits

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 28 Dec 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks all about boredom in this episode. Often viewed as a negative, research actually suggests that boredom can have some surprising benefits. Experiencing boredom is a necessary part of growth. Cindy unpacks what causes boredom, the problems and perks that can come of it, and ultimately how to handle it.

When we’re bored, we’re more likely to engage in divergent thinking. That’s important for generating multiple solutions to a problem, sparking creativity, and inspiring growth. Whether bored at work or in our personal lives, boredom is often a catalyst for exploring new career options or skills and trying a new hobby. Not all boredom is beneficial, though, so Cindy explains the differences between good and harmful boredom.

Frequently, how we combat boredom can make it more or less useful. Our unoccupied minds demand entertainment but if we just idly distract ourselves with our phones, we miss opportunities to take a break, look for novelty and unique solutions, or pick up a new skill. Cindy offers five ways to embrace boredom and overcome the discomfort it can bring. Cindy will inspire you to view boredom in a whole new way.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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93 - Elevate the Ordinary

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 21 Dec 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses how taking the time to elevate small seemingly ordinary things can transform everyday experiences into something special. When we pay attention and step outside of our busy lives for a moment to really appreciate what’s happening, it benefits us in ways Cindy outlines in this episode.

Elevating the ordinary involves cultivating a sense of wonder and finding value in everyday experiences. When we take the time to make daily occurrences feel special, it fosters a greater sense of belonging in our personal and professional lives. Cindy explains how indulging the small pleasures in life combats negativity with a feeling of focus and calm that improves mental health.

How do we make this a habit? What steps should we take to encourage ourselves to step outside of stress and appreciate life moment by moment? Cindy has a lot of sound advice for engaging with our physical surroundings, with our colleagues and friends, and in how to shift our mindset through gratitude practices. With Cindy’s guidance, we can achieve a mindfulness that will improve our moods and give us a greater sense of agency in our lives.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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92 - Feeling Overwhelmed

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 14 Dec 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the common experience of feeling overwhelmed in today’s episode. She defines overwhelm as the result of the constant battle between our unending to-do list and the finite amount of time we have to get things done: a feeling of being overburdened, stressed, and unable to cope. So what do we do about being overwhelmed? Cindy has some thoughts.

Overwhelm can have a significant impact on our mental and physical health as well as on job satisfaction and our ability to achieve our goals. In time, overwhelm can lead to burnout which leads to serious consequences for both us and our workplaces. When we’re stressed and unable to cope, we can’t prioritize tasks or concentrate. Cindy outlines examples of how overwhelm can manifest in work, relationships, and goals, making it easier for us to identify.

So how do we develop the necessary coping mechanisms and tools needed to combat the feeling of being overwhelmed? Cindy shares four practical tips we can implement right now: 1. Write it down, 2. Prioritize, 3. Break tasks into smaller manageable steps, and 4. Simplify our environment. Taking care of ourselves properly is part of our coping strategy so Cindy recommends key ways to support our personal wellbeing. It’s easy to sink into overwhelm but Cindy’s advice will help bolster us with strategies and tools that set us up for resilience and success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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91 - The Power is in Your Questions

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Dec 2023 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about asking ourselves good questions. Specifically, the right questions, ones that will help us evaluate career goals and define what success means to us. Questions are a powerful tool and Cindy guides us through how to ask them and why.

Asking questions requires reflection and introspection, it requires us to think deeply about our experiences. This can be an uncomfortable situation but it’s necessary for growth in our careers. Cindy offers examples of some questions we might want to pose and then details four ways asking the right questions can lead to personal and professional growth.

Career development depends on contemplating we what already know about ourselves and where we want to go next. Cindy shares four good questions designed to get us thinking about our careers. She details why the questions are helpful, reminds us to ask open-ended questions, and then guides us through reflecting on our answers. This episode is our guide to self-assessment and defining what we really want and how we want to achieve it through asking questions.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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90 - Don't Avoid Conflict

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 30 Nov 2023 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the tendency to avoid workplace conflict and why avoidance can have negative consequences. She explores the fear behind avoiding conflict and what happens when we engage in unhealthy conflict. Is there such a thing as healthy conflict? There is and Cindy has advice on how to foster it.

Avoiding conflict altogether is not the answer to our fear of conflict. Avoiding it removes our ability to share our ideas and feedback, it means we miss out on opportunities to learn different perspectives, and it leads to a build-up of negative emotions and a lack of trust in colleagues. Instead, we must learn to address conflicts constructively.

Cindy explains what a conflict-avoidant personality is and the difference between unhealthy and healthy conflict. She shares five common signs of unhealthy conflict - personal attacks, lack of compromise, blame and defensiveness, lack of respect, and escalation of conflict - and breaks down how to deal with these responses. Cindy gives five tips for overcoming conflict avoidance and then details five strategies for effectively diffusing conflict. Her advice will pave the way for understanding the benefits of healthy conflict and learning how to communicate in problem-solving ways.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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89 - Borrow Their Belief

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 23 Nov 2023 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses one of the most essential components for achieving our dreams: believing in ourselves. It’s a far easier thing to say than do, however, especially when we’re just getting started. But other people do believe in us and Cindy’s advice is to borrow the belief others have to combat our own self-doubt.

Borrowing the belief others have in us means focusing on the support we receive from those who know us best. Surrounding ourselves with people who see our potential can counteract our feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome. The goal is to foster our own sense of self-awareness, Cindy says, and to use that as a stepping stone for reliance on our own skills.

Cindy shares three tips for borrowing the belief others have in us: 1. Recognize and accept positive feedback, 2. Use positive affirmations, and 3. Take action. She explains how to identify the people who genuinely support us, elicit their feedback, and ways to internalize their beliefs and build confidence in ourselves. Cindy lays this path out in six steps, directing us to act on self-confidence and avoid pitfalls as we do. This episode is key to cultivating the self-belief we need to realize career success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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88 - Find Your Role

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 16 Nov 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about finding your role within your organization. Having your role clearly defined is important for job satisfaction and career success. When you’re first hired, Cindy advises you to ensure you get a specific job description. If you’re already in the organization, she has advice on how to clarify your existing role.

Your role is your position within the organization. It’s your job title. Your responsibilities are your job description; the duties expected of someone in your role. Having your role and job description clearly outlined and up to date leads to greater success because you understand exactly what is expected of you and can work towards clear goals.

Cindy details how to communicate if your role needs clarification or your job description needs updating. Communicating well aids in role negotiation but also helps avoid conflict within teams by clarifying expectations. She shares four reasons why having a playbook of everyone’s roles and responsibilities is vital: 1. Eliminates confusion, 2. Promotes autonomy, 3. Increases engagement, and 4. Makes transitions easier. She then explains how to develop those roles and responsibilities when they aren’t up to date or clearly stated.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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87 - Are You Climbing The Right Ladder

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 9 Nov 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger tackles the question of whether or not we’re on the right career path in today’s episode. Climbing the corporate ladder isn’t for everyone and may not lead to fulfillment or happiness. Have we considered alternatives? Do we need to follow a different script?

Deciding whether climbing the corporate ladder is for us or not largely depends on being able to understand how we view what success means. Cindy explains that creating a fulfilling career involves three key steps: 1. Define success for ourselves, 2. Assess our current situation, and 3. Create a plan for success. When contemplating these steps, take into account values, interests, strengths, and goals.

Cindy offers four tips to guide us in assessing our current work situation. When we have a clearer idea of what’s right and wrong now, we can formulate a plan for what will fulfill our future career needs. That roadmap to success includes making specific goals, setting realistic deadlines, and being flexible and adjusting as needed, according to Cindy. She explores all the questions to ask ourselves and how to go about taking ownership of what matters most to us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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86 - Ready or Not Just Start

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 2 Nov 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the topic of procrastination and the obstacles that keep us from taking action. Procrastination can sometimes be around waiting for the perfect time to start, a form of perfectionism, and Cindy offers advice on how to move past that to achieve our goals.

Procrastination doesn’t mean we are lazy or have bad time management. It’s more about coping with how we feel about certain tasks. It can be caused by stress. In order to start a task, we need a strategy, especially if it’s a task that bores or overwhelms us. Cindy has three tips for overcoming procrastination by taking action. 1. Break things down, 2. Embrace imperfection, and 3. Take that first step.

There is value in breaking the overall goal into smaller steps so it’s not so overwhelming. If we can simply tackle one small step at a time, we achieve the forward momentum we need. Cindy shares four steps for creating an achievable action plan: 1. Start with the end goal in mind, 2. Ensure each step is clear and doable, 3. Set deadlines and milestones, and 4. Review and adjust the plan as needed. Cindy’s advice helps break down procrastination into something manageable that can help spur us on to achieving our goals.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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85 - Lessons Learned the Hard Way

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 26 Oct 2023 04:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses one of the most frustrating aspects of the lingering gender bias in workplaces. The pervasive assumption that women lack the competence to excel in their roles, based solely on their gender. It’s disheartening and unfair, but Cindy explores how women can rise to this challenge.

Common challenges faced by women include being treated as outsiders, constantly needing to prove their value, pay scale inequity, and harassment, among others like being treated as assistants or constantly interrupted. Cindy details four lessons she learned the hard way: 1. Work hard to be good at the job, 2. Speak up, 3. Develop a work persona, and 4. Find purpose outside of work.

Cindy talks about all the ways in which gender expectations exist and should be pointedly worked around, such as not being pigeonholed as the coffee or lunch getter, setting boundaries and saying no, and displaying a commanding presence. She advises on how to prepare for criticism and find role models in other women who can offer encouragement and support. And she reminds us that success in breaking the gender barrier doesn’t just benefit individual women but the workforce overall.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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84 - Calm is a Superpower

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 19 Oct 2023 04:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about developing calmness as a superpower to help us achieve career success. Staying calm and composed under pressure is a vital skill for surviving a hostile work environment. It also leads to better decision-making. Cindy takes us through how to achieve calm when emotions are high.

Cindy starts with an overview of three strategies she finds most helpful in the quest to develop calmness. 1. Identify triggers and develop coping mechanisms, 2. Practice effective communication, and 3. Focus on what can be controlled. She examines each strategy, breaking them down so they can be applied to our daily lives with a clear understanding of how they will help.

There are benefits to learning the essential skill of staying calm, too. Cindy explores five key benefits - clarity, reduced tension, reduced misunderstandings, increased resilience, enhanced productivity - and discusses the role of emotional intelligence in career success. Cindy stresses that other people acting on their fears is not about us and offers advice on how to manage triggers. The superpower of calm is something we all need to master.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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83 - Unshakable Self-Confidence

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 12 Oct 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Building unshakable self-confidence means we have the necessary mindset to achieve our goals and realize success no matter what happens. Cindy Esliger explains why the self-confidence to take on new challenges and perform under pressure is key and also advises on how to go about boosting our confidence.

There are things that kill our confidence in the workplace, even if we started off quite confident. Cindy shares four of the most common confidence killers - perfectionism, being micro-managed, disengagement, and fear of failure - and then presents some ways to approach getting past these obstacles. The benefits of building self-confidence are numerous and Cindy outlines how just four benefits can change a lot in our work lives for the better.

Self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy are always looking to gain a foothold in our minds. What we need to do is trust our own judgement, accept ourselves, and realize our value. Cindy encourages reminders of how good we are at our jobs and to seek out feedback from those we trust. Building self-confidence, unshakable self-confidence, requires work but the fulfillment and success that it can lead to is worth the challenge. Follow Cindy’s guidance in learning to trust our own talents and accomplishments.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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82 - Pushing Back

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 5 Oct 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Workplaces are complex environments full of different personalities and skill sets even as everyone is striving for a common goal. Differences of opinion will happen. Cindy Esliger examines how to create and hold boundaries at work and the best ways to push back when those boundaries are challenged.

If boundaries have not been set, we may find ourselves being taken advantage of and run down in terms of stress and time. Cindy emphasizes that we must create intentional boundaries and hold them even when they are tested. And they will be. Clear boundaries alleviate stress and lead to better work-life wellness. Cindy offers three tips for setting and maintaining boundaries.

Pushback on our boundaries and limits can be challenging to manage. Saying no is often hard. Cindy shares three ways to stand our ground when we are tested. Communication is key and unless we know why our boundaries are set, we may have difficulty navigating pushback. In this episode, Cindy guides us through developing effective strategies for maintaining boundaries and advocating for ourselves in the workplace.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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81 - Making it Fun

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 28 Sep 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Not everything that’s important needs to be serious and challenging. Cindy Esliger examines the idea of making things fun and easy as an alternative to always working under stressful situations. Does having fun mean we aren’t taking our goals seriously? In a word, no. Cindy shows us why.

Making things more lighthearted and fun can aid in maintaining mental health and well-being while still achieving success. Approaching tasks with a sense of playfulness taps into our creativity and can lead to new and innovative ideas. Cindy shares three tips for exactly how we can make things fun and easy.

Incorporating fun and ease into life can also present challenges, however. Cindy acknowledges that and offers three strategies for overcoming those challenges. She talks about the value of fun, how it contributes to productivity, and explores ways in which we can balance both work and leisure to best suit our schedules and prevent burnout. We don’t have to trudge through every day in deadly seriousness. So start putting Cindy’s advice into action.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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80 - Whose Expectations Are They Anyway

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 21 Sep 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses expectations: how to balance meeting the expectations of others with our expectations for ourselves. We need to meet the goals set out by employers and clients but also need to be mindful of our own needs and sense of well-being. How do we navigate this?

The first step in managing expectations is being clear about what is expected of us. Then we need to ensure we are not settling for low expectations or ones that are too high. Cindy details the types of expectations we can anticipate in our daily lives and how to define their relative importance.

When we understand the expectations of others and our own expectations for ourselves, how do we balance them all? Cindy has three actionable tips for managing them: 1. Set realistic expectations, 2. Communicate clearly, and 3. Follow through on commitments. Cindy acknowledges that meeting and exceeding professional expectations is key to building trust and getting recognition, but guides us through keeping our own boundaries and wellness in mind as we meet those expectations.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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79 - Choose Your Own Adventure

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 14 Sep 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger offers the perspective of viewing our careers as an adventure we get to choose. The challenges of discovery keep life and jobs interesting, so exploring new facets of our careers can help motivate us. How do we overcome the fear that comes with new things, though?

Incorporating adventure into our careers can put us in the right place at the right time for advancement. And it doesn’t have to be a big elaborate move. Simple things like taking on more responsibility or pursuing interests are effective. Cindy offers insight into why we may feel held back from changing our job descriptions to suit our personalities.

The fear we experience when we consider new challenges is often the fear of failure or of the unknown. Cindy understands how these fears operate and advises simple ways to overcome them. She then outlines five reasons why we should consider exploring new opportunities and the positive outcomes we will experience when we do. Challenging ourselves builds confidence and helps us thrive, and that’s what our adventure is all about.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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78 - Future Proofing Your Career

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Sep 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines how today’s fast-changing job market demands that we adapt by future-proofing our careers. It’s important to stay relevant and competitive and that means continually updating our skills and knowledge to embrace change. How do we take those steps, though?

The evolving job market means it’s unreasonable to believe that a single job or position will take us through the rest of our career lives. Instead, it’s far more likely that jobs could become irrelevant or obsolete due to technological advances. So Cindy advises taking steps to prepare for that inevitability now by fostering a willingness to be flexible and learn new skills.

Cindy offers insight into what breaking away from old habits may entail. This includes envisioning what human skills technology is currently unable to replace and honing those abilities. Soft skills, human interaction, collaboration, and project management are all areas to embrace. Cindy also stresses that keeping up with technological advances is imperative to career flexibility. She shares practical steps to take in changing our mindset and approaching future change with a positive attitude. Future-proofing our career is in our hands.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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77 - What Are You Making It Mean

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses how our interpretations of other people’s actions can shape our emotions and behaviors. What we think is being said may not actually be accurate. Our interpretation may be based on assumption, bias, or belief and have little to do with the other person. So how do we navigate that?

The ways in which we decide to interpret people’s actions can lead directly to our own reactions. If we interpret someone’s behavior as an attack, we can get defensive. If we interpret someone’s words as a compliment, we will likely feel happy. Cindy notes that it’s important to be mindful of the stories we tell ourselves so we can challenge unhelpful interpretations.

Cindy defines cognitive bias and confirmation bias, giving examples of how both operate and affect us, and offers insight into balancing our interpretations for a more objective perspective. She shares three tips on ways to challenge our interpretations and assumptions. Ultimately she is guiding us to becoming more confident, motivated, and resilient in our interactions so we can realize greater success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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76 - What Are Your Priorities

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 24 Aug 2023 04:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses the importance of priorities and how understanding them can help us make better decisions. We can get lost in the chaos of life and think we don’t have time for what matters but that’s because our priorities aren’t clear.

Priorities can be related to our careers, relationships, health, personal growth, or something else entirely, but knowing what matters helps clarify the vision of our future. We need to learn how to say yes to the things that get us closer to our vision and say no to things that are taking time away from what we value most.

Cindy offers advice on how to identify what our priorities are. She explains how to create a time management system so we don’t lose the time we have for things we don’t prioritize. She also shares how to say focused and committed to the priorities we identify. Priorities should align with our values and lead us to the results we desire, regardless of which area of life we are setting priorities for.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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75 - Toxic People

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 17 Aug 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the reality of toxic behavior in many workplaces and why it’s important to understand it to protect our safety and wellbeing. Cindy offers advice on identifying and coping with toxic behavior so we can navigate our workplace more effectively.

Toxic behavior can take many forms, from gossiping to gaslighting to harassment. Regardless of the form it takes, it can have serious consequences on our psyche. Left unchecked, it can lead to headaches, high stress, depression, and decreased productivity. How do we identify it? And more importantly, how do we deal with it?

Cindy outlines patterns of behavior and things to look for that help identify the toxicity. There are certain things to look for that will help us better prepare for defense against it. Then Cindy shares ways to document and report the behavior, prioritize our own self-care, and offers five strategies that can make navigating conversations about toxic behavior easier. We have all experienced this so we can all work together to combat it.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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74 - They Are Looking To You

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 10 Aug 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses being a role model, specifically being a role model as a woman for other women. It can add a lot of pressure to the already difficult task of being a woman in male-dominated workplace but it also has benefits. Cindy examines both.

Role models show those coming up behind them what is possible to achieve. A woman in a STEM field, largely dominated by men, demonstrates to younger generations that there is a place for them and that it’s worth the effort. Role models also help diversify workplaces and create more inclusion. Cindy details five tips that will help women shine as role models.

There are downsides, of course, and Cindy acknowledges the difficulties. She lays out five actions that can help us avoid or mitigate potential pitfalls. But why is the voice of a role model so valuable? Cindy unpacks why it’s all worth it, if we’re up for the challenge. She offers advice on choosing battles carefully and finding a balance between acknowledging strengths and showing humility and gratitude. Being a role model is about more than just us, it’s about everyone around us and expanding a workplace’s ability to be fulfilling.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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73 - People Like Helping People

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 3 Aug 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger explores the myth that we need to do everything on our own to succeed. Asking for help is difficult but it’s something necessary to achieving greater success. Why are we so reluctant? And how can we learn to start asking for the help we deserve?

There can be a lot of reasons why we don’t ask for help: we fear rejection, we fear that the ask will mark us as incapable, it makes us feel weak, or we assume we will be a burden to those we’re asking. Cindy takes the time to break down why these beliefs are not necessarily true and how they’re holding us back. Asking for help is, in fact, a key skill that helps us build stronger relationships, navigate difficulties with greater ease, and grow in strength.

There are best practices around how to ask for help, however, that aid in minimizing the fears we have surrounding it. Reaching out for assistance should not be a substitute for doing work on our own. Cindy has advice on how to approach others for help by starting small and remembering gratitude. It’s work to break down the myths we believe about independence requiring us to do everything alone, but ultimately learning to collaborate and reach out for assistance will serve us far more.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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72 - Celebrate Your Wins

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 27 Jul 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses the need to celebrate our wins, to recognize our own accomplishments in order to build career momentum and a sense of progress. Everyone needs to feel acknowledged and even if it’s just us celebrating our own wins, it lets us feel fulfilled and proud of our work.

Behavior change can be reinforced with positivity but unsurprisingly not with punishment. Rewarding positive outcomes leads to continuing the practice of new habits and works to encourage our growth. It’s vital to celebrate our successes. It helps to motivate us and fosters happiness.

How should we celebrate our wins? There’s no one way, it’s up to personal preference, but Cindy offers some suggestions: 1. Acknowledge progress and praise a job well done, 2. Give tangible rewards, 3. Share success with others, and 4. Reflect on the growth and track the progress. Cindy also shares five common roadblocks preventing us from celebrating our wins. We need to overcome reluctance to celebrate ourselves because the celebration can help offset setbacks we encounter later on. Take the advice in this episode to heart, we are all worth celebrating.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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71 - What Is There To Worry About

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 20 Jul 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the omnipresent topic of worry, our tendency to dwell on negative thoughts about what the future could bring. Some worry can be motivational, but excessive worrying negatively impacts our mental health, physical health, and overall well-being. So how do we stop worrying? Cindy has some advice.

Worrying is normal and some worry truly can motivate us to take action against negative outcomes. But the excessive, chronic worrying that dogs many of us can lead to overwhelm, depression, and anxiety, and doesn’t solve the things we are worked up about. Excessive worrying is best to address with professional help to avoid significant distress.

Cindy lays out four things we often worry about in terms of what other people think, worries that will sabotage our success efforts. She counters those four worries with four strategies that can help. Worries need to be managed. Cindy’s four steps for managing our anxiety are 1. Managing our time, 2. Journalling, 3. Practicing mindfulness, and 4. Engaging in physical activity. It’s incredibly important to get ahold of our worrying so we don’t derail our health and goals. Cindy’s advice will prove invaluable to all of us plagued with chronic worrying.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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70 - There's No Going Back

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 13 Jul 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about continuously moving forward in our careers rather than resting on laurels and simply expecting to succeed. There is a need to not go back, to push ourselves to improve and grow in order to stay relevant. Career stagnation is the alternative, and Cindy has insight on how to avoid that.

There are several factors that contribute to forward momentum, including building new skills, building relationships, and identifying our goals and ambitions. Building a diverse set of skills and knowledge adds many important things to career trajectories. Cindy highlights three of the most important benefits: adaptability, creativity, and flexibility.

What Cindy suggests is taking initiative in moving things forward in our workplaces. Demonstrate leadership skills, for example. Start new projects. Initiative gets us noticed by those who make promotion decisions. Cindy describes how relationships and collaboration are just as important for growth as initiative. She offers ways to advance soft skills and practical skills that make a difference to success. Don’t stand still on past accomplishments. Instead take Cindy’s advice to progress your career.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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69 - What You Say And How You Say It

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 6 Jul 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the fact that how we say things, not just what we say, can have an impact on career opportunities and advancement. Our communication style matters to our credibility and helps in garnering respect. And Cindy points out that effective communication is as much about relaying information as receiving it.

Effective communication involves assertiveness, empathy, and active listening. Cindy advises us to seek constructive criticism from colleagues on our communication style. We should aim to achieve self promotion with integrity and without arrogance. There are also the nonverbal communication cues - body language and facial expressions - to consider.

Cindy identifies five common communication styles - aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, assertive, and diplomatic - and explains what each looks like and what impact they each have. She then gives four tips on how to identify which communication style we employ. It’s not just what we say, though that matters, but the way in which we say it that affects our career growth.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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68 - Try On A New Identity

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 29 Jun 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses the idea of trying on a new identity as a way to develop new skills and attributes that can advance our careers. Adopting a different version of ourselves requires taking a risk but also enhances our agility and flexibility to grow into new situations. Cindy unpacks the benefits and the challenges.

Our environment contributes to how we show up in the world and at work, therefore it’s important to assess our environment accurately when trying on a new identity. What new traits, behaviors, or qualities align with where we want to go in our careers? What limitations are we trying to surpass? Cindy addresses these questions and also cautions against losing our authentic selves in the process.

A new version of ourselves may well serve us in becoming more adaptable, which is essential in any workplace. Cindy offers eight tips to help develop flexibility and adaptability, and then acknowledges five potential pitfalls we should be aware of in advance. This episode examines how forging a new identity can spur us to greater success by addressing new attributes we want to foster. It is possible to grow through an identity shift, but it’s also a challenge.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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67 - Promote Yourself

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 22 Jun 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger tackles the topic of self promotion in this episode. It’s tempting to just hope that our great work will speak for itself, but in reality nobody will realize our accomplishments unless we promote them ourselves. The art of self promotion is a balance between ego and recognition and Cindy helps us navigate that line.

Being able to speak up to address our own accomplishments is part of confidence projection and people prefer to work with someone who isn’t afraid to have a voice. This can be done without coming across as an egotistical jerk. Cindy explains how self promotion isn’t about bragging so much as about highlighting our accomplishments, networking, and demonstrating how our achievements benefit others and the company at large.

Cindy shares some practical strategies for self promotion: start small, practice talking about accomplishments with a friend, get comfortable sharing wins. She demonstrates the differences between confidence in showcasing our own value and being self obsessed. Imposter syndrome can also lead us to holding back on talking up our achievements. But Cindy has advice on how to reframe our hesitation around sharing our successes so that we can benefit from promoting ourselves to the betterment of our careers.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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66 - Whats Next for Me

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Are you waiting for a master career plan to be handed to you? Cindy Esliger talks about how we can go about exploring possibilities in our careers, because we are in charge of our own fulfillment. Instead of waiting on others to offer job satisfaction, we need to be open to possibilities and change.

Cindy shares some signs that indicate we might not be happy at our jobs: feeling unfulfilled, dragging ourselves to work without enthusiasm, feeling like we’ve hit a dead end. This might mean it’s time to start considering a career transformation. It’s time to shape our own futures by exploring what drives us, what fulfills us, and where we want to go.

A career treasure hunt, is how Cindy words it. Her advice includes researching different industries, volunteering in new roles to get experience, networking to build new relationships, and above all, stepping outside our comfort zones. Ultimately it’s our journey to define, nobody can do that for us. And since fulfillment in our careers is important to happiness outside of work too, take the time to consider new paths with Cindy’s guidance.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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65 - Reimagine Your Career

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 8 Jun 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses feeling stuck in our careers and the potential to change where we currently are to grow into a new career. We have the power to reinvent ourselves and our careers at any time. Cindy offers guidance on how to identify what drives us so we can successfully reassess and reinvent our careers.

Reinvention of self and transitioning to a new career is not easy, Cindy will be the first to say that, but it is entirely possible and something to consider. Our careers should align with what matters most to us in life. Do we know what matters to us? Cindy advises reflecting on our current situations to identify what feels stale and what values and passions we hold that aren’t being currently fulfilled.

Cindy shares a lot of ideas on how to assess our current careers and how to start the move forward into what we truly want to be doing. There are practical steps we can take. It might feel scary to start a journey of change because change unsettles us. So Cindy offers four strategies for overcoming fear and getting support: 1. Reframe negative self talk, 2. Practice self compassion, 3. Seek support, and 4. Visualize success. She is here to guide us through the transition with advice and experience.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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64 - Who Do You Envy?

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 1 Jun 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about envy in this episode. Different from jealousy, envy is often viewed as a negative emotion. But Cindy explains how envy can be a powerful positive force in our lives and careers if we handle it right. She advises on how to view it for the best instead of letting it impact us negatively.

Envy and jealousy are often confused as the same but envy arises when we desire something someone else possesses and jealousy involves the fear of losing something that’s already ours. Envy is a natural emotion that we frequently try to deny feeling or suppress in ourselves. That unwillingness to acknowledge evy can lead to bitterness and resentment. But acknowledging it can lead to positive outcomes.

Cindy lays out five tips on how to identify envy triggers in a healthy way: 1. Recognize our feelings, 2. Understand the source of the envy, 3. Focus on our own goals, 4. Practice gratitude, and 5. Seek support. Envy acknowledged can help us identify directions we want to take in our own careers and things we might be lacking that we should pursue. There are definite benefits in exploring envy and Cindy explains them in detail, shedding light on how to reframe envy to work for us instead of against us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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63 - Embrace Uncertainty and Ambiguity

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 25 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses uncertainty and ambiguity in the workplace, defining exactly what they are and how they manifest. Navigating them can lead to stress and ineffective communication, among other things, so Cindy explains how to build resilience and learn to reframe the uncertain situations.

Uncertainty arises when we don’t have the information required to make key decisions, and ambiguity is seen when we find multiple possible interpretations of the information we do have. Such situations can be stressful, can hinder our productivity, can decrease our job satisfaction, and can lead to misunderstandings. But things are not always clear at work and coping with the challenge of uncertainty allows our skills and confidence to grow.

How do we cope and even embrace them, then? Cindy lays out five reasons why accepting uncertainty and ambiguity can further our careers. There is value in facing challenges head-on and relying on our creativity and confidence to navigate such occasions. Cindy additionally shares some vital tips and strategies for overcoming the challenges that can be put into action right now in our own workplaces.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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62 - Why You Are Miserable at Work

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 18 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines why it is that so many of us are miserable at work. What is happening to the workplace culture that causes us such misery and what can we do to counteract it? She reveals a lot of factors from poor management to mismatched skills that cause us disconnection.

The causes of increasing workplace misery are unique to each individual but there are common roots that contribute to the unpleasantness. Managers who lack the necessary skills to lead effectively, unreasonable workloads, a culture of fear about being able to speak up, jobs we are not well-suited for, and more. The misery caused by these stressors can lead to burnout, exhaustion, mental and physical health issues and more.

Cindy shares five key things to look for when identifying how likely you are to be miserable at your job: 1. Toxic behavior, 2. Positive culture, 3. Work life balance, 4. Professional growth and development, and 5. Leading by example. She thoroughly explores how each of these impacts our mindset and then provides six strategies for managing workloads and stress levels. This episode will resonate with a lot of listeners and Cindy’s advice could make a difference at many workplaces.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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61 - Should is Damaging

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 11 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about ‘should have’, ‘could have’, and ‘would have’ phrases to highlight how they can lead to negative self-talk, self-blame, and feelings of regret. She guides us through how they impact our mindset and how to turn them around into possibilities instead of statements of disappointment.

‘Should have’ and ‘could have’ root us in regret over past actions. Focusing solely on what we didn’t do or could have done better can impact our confidence going forward. It leads us to procrastination and doubt in our abilities. ‘Would have’, on the other hand, keeps us open to possibility which helps us take responsibility for past choices and lets us inform future decisions. Our words have power over our mindset.

Eliminating negative speech from our vocabulary can be difficult, so Cindy offers five tips for getting rid of ‘should have’ and ‘could have’ and what to replace them with. The replacement wording aims to reframe mistakes and emphasize strengths. She explains how to turn those negative statements into empowered ones instead. And she shares three important takeaways regarding the impact of negative phrases on our mindset, to help us realize how important our self-talk really is. This episode challenges us to examine our innate speech and focus on what we say.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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60 - Be an Ally

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 4 May 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger directly addresses why women in STEM need allies to build a successful career. She is referring to the type of ally with privilege and power who takes action to support women in male dominated professions. Why are allies so important and how can you be one? Cindy has some guidance to share.

The truth is that women in male dominated professions, like STEM, often face barriers to promotion and are less satisfied with their jobs because of systemic biases. Men who work alongside these women need to take the first step of seeing the biases that are in place and educating themselves about women’s experiences. Listen to their stories, says Cindy, and learn what they are facing.

Cindy breaks down the realities of what women are up against in the workplace that men don’t face and she explains the self-reflection and self-education that allies must start doing before they can become effective. She talks about how to be an active ally without disempowering the very women you’re looking to support, and she offers three key points to remember on your journey to allyship: 1) Listen and educate, 2) Speak up and advocate, and 3) Take action. This is a vital episode for everyone to take in.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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59 - Challenging People

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 27 Apr 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines how to handle the challenging people we meet in our workplaces. These are the individuals who cause us stress and make the workplace a hostile place to be. Beyond identifying the types of challenging people we encounter, Cindy will offer strategies for dealing with them.

There are types of people that we can all identify in our workplaces and the ones who cause the most toxicity tend to be the micromanagers, the bullies, the negative coworkers, the gossipers, and the passive aggressive. Sometimes identifying the type of behavior is enough to let us know to avoid interactions, but sometimes this can’t happen and we need to directly confront the people causing us the most stress.

Cindy addresses how to approach each type of challenging person, understanding the reasons behind their behavior, and how issues like insecurity and engaging in power struggles can drive the toxic people. She presents three tips for handling such situations - 1) Set clear boundaries, 2) Stay professional, 3) Use effective communication - and details the types of self-care that can assist us in remaining calm and reducing stress.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger

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58 - Good Mentors Are Helpful

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 20 Apr 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the helpfulness of having a mentor in this episode. A mentor can guide you through various stages of your career and help set you up for professional success. They aren’t necessary to have, but having that senior person in your field able to mentor you can provide you with a lot of support and knowledge.

Similar to a counselor relationship, the chemistry you have with a mentor is important. They are someone you should feel comfortable being challenged and encouraged by. Cindy advises not limiting yourself to only one mentor at any given time as well. For women in certain fields, especially STEM fields, men will tend to support other men but that support won’t extend to women in their circles. Mentors can help balance that inequality.

Cindy shares all the ways in which mentors are helpful: from giving feedback or imparting technical knowledge to enabling you to leverage their contacts, mentors have a lot to offer. You don’t have to prove yourself alone. Cindy’s advice is to open yourself up to a mentor early. She details three common characteristics all good mentors possess to assist in your search. Find out how important a mentor can be and start considering one of your own.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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57 - Make Yourself Indispensable

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 13 Apr 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Who are the indispensable employees in your workplace? Indispensable people remove obstacles, get things done, know where to find things, and know how to handle challenging situations. Cindy Esliger talks about how we can make ourselves indispensable to our boss and workplace. There are benefits to us as well as to our bosses when we become indispensable.

Part of becoming indispensable is making our boss’ priorities our own. We need to become problem solves, information conduits, independent thinkers, leaders, and the people who remedy complaints. Cindy explains that it’s about creating value, and our managers value what we bring to the company and the end result of our hours. Our hours themselves are not valued, it’s what is produced that is of value. So how do we become indispensable if it’s not simply more hours or longer work efforts?

Cindy shares six strategies to assist in becoming indispensable at work. 1) Go the extra mile, 2) Be the most reliable, 3) Become an expert, 4) Make an impact, 5) Align skills with company needs, and 6) Showcase leadership. She explains each of these in detail and differentiates between being valuable and being invaluable, which is priceless. Becoming indispensable brings benefits to us but there are pitfalls to beware of as well. Cindy lays out the good and the cautionary to help us reimagine what we can become.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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56 - Work Life Balance

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 6 Apr 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses the idea of work life balance in this episode. There is no one definition that everyone agrees on, but we all agree we want to achieve some notion of enough time for both work and personal lives without one overwhelming the other. How do we actually accomplish that, though?

The buzz word trend of “work life balance” today means it encompasses a wide array of thoughts. What is “personal” life to you? Family? Friends? Charitable pursuits? Home life? Hobbies? Caregiving? Exercising? And should we feel guilty if we enjoy work and are very dedicated to it? Cindy breaks down all the things work and personal lives mean to us and how to view them without guilt.

Overwhelm is the enemy of balance regardless of how we define it, however. So Cindy shares five self-sabotaging mistakes we make when we’re overwhelmed: 1) Dismissing things that might help, 2) Not making space for minds to wander, 3) Interpreting the feeling of overwhelm as weakness, 4) Not being flexible or adapting to changing demands, and 5) Missing opportunities to restore energy. Cindy walks us through each one and sheds light on ways to find fulfillment in whatever balance we find most rewarding.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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55 - Stop Procrastinating

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 30 Mar 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the topic of procrastination in this episode. What is procrastination, why do we do it, and what kind of procrastinator do we seem to be? Cindy answers these questions then offers up some ways to break our procrastination habit and become productive on priority tasks instead of giving in to distraction or overwhelm.

There are a lot of different ways we procrastinate. We do it by organizing, by cleaning, by doing other things, by waiting for permission, anything we can engage it that takes us away from what we should be working on. Productivity is a double-edged sword because sometimes we are productive in our procrastination, we’re just not productive in order of priority. Cindy challenges us to identify our style of procrastination so we can learn how to handle it.

Cindy shares four strategies to make it easier to take action against procrastinating: 1) determine the next step, 2) make it a priority, 3) make the task easier by making it smaller, and 4) redesign the environment. She explains each step with action in mind. What will motivate us to focus on the immediate task without distraction? Set yourself up for success against procrastination by taking Cindy’s insight and advice to heart.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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54 - How You Respond

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 23 Mar 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines the dichotomy between staying open to criticism and remaining committed to our own vision in our careers. The truth is that we need to look at how we respond, both productively and unproductively, to feedback and criticism. Feedback can be useful or it can be unhelpful, so Cindy unpacks how to identify and deal with both types that we encounter.

“While you are unable to control how others view you and how they deliver feedback, you are in complete control over how you react and respond to it.” Cindy keenly understands both the desire to become defensive and to open ourselves up to useful critique due to her own reactions in her career. She learned, and now shares, that we are in control of our reactions. And not only that, we are in control of whether we apply the feedback or not.

Cindy looks at receiving feedback with grace and perspective because some people prefer to tear down the work of others instead of building something of their own. She stresses that the right feedback is necessary to growth but unhelpful criticism needs to affect us less deeply. She explains how to hone communication, understand our verbal habits, and not to be defeated by feedback. Her guidance will make those awkward performance reviews much easier to receive.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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53 - You Are a Grown-Up, So Act Like One

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 16 Mar 2023 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger takes a look at what it is that we expect of ourselves in order to lay a proper foundation for success. Do we have a purpose and a direction? Cindy explains how to understand our expectations and make plans to achieve them.

Purpose and direction are the things we all require to realize success. Purpose is our why. Direction includes vision and prioritization. Cindy talks about why priorities are vital to establish and encourages celebrating the small wins along the way. We’re grown-ups so we need to establish a good pace and maintain it in order to make progress.

Cindy looks at why we fail to meet our goals and identifies high expectations that we can’t reach. Can we lower our expectations of ourselves in order to realize daily success? Overwhelm, as Cindy points out, does nothing to help us progress. We need balance between the goals and what we can reasonably achieve. We need to learn to lay the proper groundwork for our own success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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52 - The Real World Doesn't Reward Perfection

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 9 Mar 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger presents the truth about perfection in the real world in this episode. The truth is that perfection is not rewarded in real life and the behavior that earned us those gold stars in school doesn’t mean much in the world outside school. It’s time to learn what is rewarded and how to achieve it.

Bravery is what is rewarded in the real world. Where perfection is safety, bravery lets us step off the expected path and speak up for ourselves. Cindy details how bravery serves us better in life, and especially in the workplace, than the pursuit of perfection. She also shares her own struggles with perfectionist desires.

Why is perfectionism actually a weakness? The related symptoms that perfectionism produces, the fear of control that results in procrastination, and the sense of failure that accompanies our inability to meet self-imposed perfection standards. These are the ideas that Cindy breaks down and addresses. She talks about how to reframe perfectionism and not only embrace courage but mistakes as well.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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51 - Reignite Your Passion and Purpose

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 2 Mar 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger looks at exploring our curiosities and experimenting with what interests us to find our passion. Instead of pushing our inner voice down to quiet it, she encourages us to listen to it. To pursue our hunches and instincts to find the things that will resonate with us.

We are often told to follow our passion but passion isn’t something we start out with, passion is what comes through exploration and curiosity. So if we start by trying things that fascinate us, we are more likely to discover our passion. Cindy shares ways to cultivate curiosity and pushes us to answer questions about our interests.

When we do find a passion we may want to do it simply for pleasure. It’s not passion that will drive our career success anyway, it’s exploration. Cindy lays out five ways that cultivating curiosity is better for a career than following passion: 1) It opens us up, 2) It allows us to discover our passion, 3) Passions can change over time, 4) Passion doesn’t always equal proficiency, and 5) Curiosity transcends passion. She guides us through each of these so we better learn what drives us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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50 - Your Story is Still Being Written

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 23 Feb 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses having an intentional path and not leaving our futures to chance. What has to change in order to make what we want to have happen possible? Cindy leads us into exploration on how our stories are still being written, and how we can control the writing.

The question “what would have to change for me to be completely fulfilled” is posed early on in Cindy’s talk. The answer illuminates what we find unsatisfying or threatening and shows us what changes we can start to make to rewrite the direction of our own story. Are there experiments we can take on to find more open doors at work?

Confidence and courage are skills Cindy says we can develop. It’s true that things don’t always go as planned, though, so Cindy offers five steps to help us find our way through setbacks: 1. Wallow if necessary, 2. Celebrate the result, 3. Shake it off, 4. Review, reassess, realign, and 5. Get back in the game. Cindy outlines how to avoid getting stuck in a blame game and to reassess our narrative. She guides us through using our time to write our stories our way.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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49 - Is It What It Is, or Is It..

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 16 Feb 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about how facts and emotions intertwine. How we feel about a situation affects how we perceive the facts of that situation. Cindy wants us to understand how awareness and acceptance of where we are will affect our perception.

The saying “it is what it is” bothers Cindy because it feels as though we are being told to simply accept the way things are instead of thinking they could be different. In truth, we do sometimes have to accept things but that means being at peace with them, not accepting them as the upper limit. Cindy explains how different mindsets and emotions - gratitude instead of complaint, for example - can change our perspective and also the possibilities open to us.

Cindy outlines five common reasons we rationalize our feelings of overwhelm and cynicism: 1) Fulfills an emotional need that’s not being met, 2) Allows us to feel more in control, 3) Gives us attention, 4) Gets us off the hook in terms of blame, and 5) It protects us. She then explores how acceptance and changing our fixed mindset are key to moving past the negative emotions. She guides us towards relearning our behaviors for the better.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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48 - You Dont Need Their Permission

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 9 Feb 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the subconscious need to obtain permission to move forward on our goals. We are socialized from youth to seek permission from someone in charge. But now that we’re adults, are we letting that hold us back from making choices that benefit us?

We don’t actually need anyone’s permission to make the pieces of our work and lives fit well together. Job constraints may not be as rigid as we tell ourselves or complain about. Cindy offers the idea that flexibility is the key to taking time we need during work hours to get things accomplished for ourselves. She explains how to navigate that idea.

Cindy points out that job results matter more than hours spent at work. Ensure that your work hours are truly spent working and productive, taking initiative for getting the work done in the hours you prefer, and caretaking your energy cycles. She gives us three signs to tell when we’re at the end of an energy cycle and offers a solution other than “powering through”. We don’t need anyone’s permission to be our best selves.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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47 - Clear and Present Danger

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 2 Feb 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Overcoming adversity is what Cindy Esliger addresses today. How we handle feelings of doubt and fear when we come up against obstacles is a necessary part of growth. Challenge is part of our roadmap to success so Cindy walks us through how to cope with adversity.

We are more or less hardwired to avoid adversity. Our brains, programmed for survival, try to steer us away from adversity to help us stay alive. Now that we’ve evolved, however, avoidance is not the key to success in a safer world. What exactly are we avoiding, anyway? Cindy explains the three types of adversity we tend to face.

We need a plan for dealing with these things that appear to be clear and present danger. Cindy first highlights the four common pitfalls in our dealings with adversity: 1) Not making enough decisions, 2) Not taking necessary actions, 3) Not considering possibilities, and 4) Shutting down to escape. She then details how to get past these pitfalls with three secrets to overcoming adversity. Facing fears makes us stronger, after all.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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46 - Who I am Becoming

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 26 Jan 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger asks us to look at who we are becoming by reflecting on how far we’ve come. Who are we really when our facades and defenses are down? When we can answer that, Cindy says, we can look ahead and make the right choices about who we are becoming.

We are defined by the choices we’ve made so Cindy walks us through exploring what those choices have been. Our choices should be in alignment with where we want to be and what our strengths are. We can be thrown off course when we internalize critiques and let our insecurities prevent us from pursuing our purpose.

Cindy urges us to learn to take a compliment and not focus solely on critique. When we achieve great things, it’s okay to celebrate them. Letting ourselves feel capable and confident will help tear down the imposter syndrome that derails us on our path to becoming. Cindy offers three statements that fight imposter syndrome: 1) I am enough, 2) I worked hard for this, and 3) I make the most of opportunities before me. Become who you truly want to be with Cindy’s assistance.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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45 - What They Said And What They Meant

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 19 Jan 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about second guessing ourselves at work. Are things said to us just annoyances to dismiss or are they things to take seriously? Or are we beginning to think everything is a sign? Cindy wants to address how making career decisions out of fear leaves us susceptible to gaslighting.

What’s said to us is often neutral but we interpret the words with our own emotions based on past experiences. Cindy notes that this makes us create our own limitations which opens us up to the form of workplace bullying known as gaslighting. We question our ability to do the job that we know we are more than capable of doing.

Cindy advises us to maintain a true, balanced, compassionate view of ourselves. She offers three steps to shifting our mindset: 1) notice our subconscious programming, 2) increase our awareness, 3) create a new belief system. She explores each of these in depth and shares stories from her career that relate in a powerful way. Cindy urges us to remember that we are not someone else’s opinion of us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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44 - How to Move Forward

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 12 Jan 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines what we need in order to move out of toxic workplaces and into spaces that do not crush our souls. There are options besides simply suffering for a paycheque and part of the power to move forward already resides within us.

Perhaps the toxicity is due to failures you’ve been part of in your work, perhaps it’s a poisonous boss or unsupportive atmosphere. We stay put, Cindy says, because we become paralyzed. We hate our jobs but see no way out. The toxicity bleeds into every aspect of our lives. Cindy wants us to assess where we really are, the recent successes we’ve realized, to shake us awake.

Recent changes are our best motivator for moving forward. Change is hard but believing in ourselves is a key part of working towards a better workplace. Cindy offers insight into four survival strategies to help us make the changes: 1) Listen to your body, 2) Gain perspective, 3) Face your fears, and 4) Set your boundaries. When we really recognize our situations, we are more ready to make a move.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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43 - Do You Really Not Like People

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 5 Jan 2023 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about connection in this episode. She focuses on the ways in which people assess our communication styles for likeability and competence. Connection and charisma become very important tools that Cindy shares advice on cultivating.

Likeability depends on how well we connect with other people and the easiest way to do so is through honesty and sincerity. Cindy’s advice encompasses active listening skills and the ability to disagree respectfully. Likewise charisma leads to being liked, trusted, and admired, so Cindy shares tactics on how to develop charisma by focusing on our own reactions to others.

The three ways we each have control over connections we forge and how we are viewed are through 1) body language, 2) presence, and 3) emotional intelligence. Part of what Cindy wants to share with us in this episode is how to let emotions flow through us like waves instead of bottling them which forces them out in negative ways at inopportune times. Cindy guides us through tearing down our walls in favor of connection.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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42 - Falling to Pieces Without Falling Apart

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 29 Dec 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses workplace resilience in this episode. How do we manage our own behaviors more effectively so stress doesn’t take over? Cindy has advice for developing a resilience mindset, one that won’t allow negative thoughts to derail our work.

The definition of resilience is the ability of something to bounce back to its original form after pressure or stress is applied to it. That’s what Cindy is encouraging us to develop emotionally. The ability to confront life’s hardships without being crushed and with the strength to recover completely. She shares four key ways to build that resilience: 1. Strengthen your foundation, 2. See challenges as opportunities, 3. Master Stress, and 4. Maintain perspective.

We need to prioritize our own energy management and seek out restorative activities. Keeping energy in balance means we won’t exceed in output at work and leave ourselves exhausted and vulnerable. Cindy gets to the root of the issue by advising us to accept painful emotions and learn to view adversity as opportunity. She aims to guide us towards the resilience we need to not quit, to adapt and keep going.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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41 - Stop Fixating on the How

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about letting go of the fixation on how you’ll achieve goals and instead focussing simply on the next step in this episode. Requiring a full roadmap before embracing a new idea often stops us from stepping outside our comfort zone. Cindy has advice on how to break free of the fixation on how.

New projects and goals are unknowable paths and that lack of linear foresight can make us reluctant to step into those challenges. Cindy’s advice, however, is to simply embrace the next step. You can figure out each subsequent step as you go. She shares the three traits needed to master the how: 1) adaptability, 2) resourcefulness, and 3) flexibility.

Risk and discomfort help us reach our goals. Cindy’s three reasons for embracing discomfort are that comfort is overrated, discomfort is a catalyst for growth, and discomfort signals progress. She expands on how the growth happens and shares four ways to prepare ourselves for the negative emotions that may arise on our journey. Let Cindy’s guidance lead us outside the comfort zone so we can truly realize our goals, without knowing the how in advance.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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40 - The Stewing is Worse than the Doing

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 15 Dec 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines the inescapable nature of fear and how confronting and transforming it is the only way forward. Everyone feels fear, but successful people simply refuse to let it prevent them from doing what they want to do. So Cindy unpacks some ways to start managing our fear.

Fear is essentially our body’s way of signaling that we’re venturing outside our comfort zone. It alerts us to potential danger so we can escape it, but many threats that arouse our fears today are not actually life-threatening. So when the fear rises, how do we reframe it? Cindy has five points for us to remember: 1. Trying new things is scary, 2. Fear isn’t going away, 3. After doing things repeatedly, the fear lessens, 4. Making things happen feels good, and 5. The stewing is worse than the doing.

What Cindy offers in this episode is a way to acknowledge that fear is something we always have in our lives but that it doesn’t necessarily mean we should not do something. She guides us through assessing our fears and pushing through them if they’re not actually signaling us about danger. Trying new things will always be scary but accepting the fear and doing the thing anyway leads to greater reward.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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39 - Playing Big

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 8 Dec 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about transformation and empowerment in this episode. She refers to the inner wisdom we all possess that already knows what to do if we’re only willing to tap into it. Are we ready to start playing big to work at living up to our full potential?

Cindy shares from her own career journey and struggles; detailing how she never did find the mentor she desired, forcing her to rely more fully on her inner sage, and the real barriers she came up against in her industry. Her experiences led her to understand the external forces at work against women in their career path, but also illuminated how women can reframe their own power to greater effect. Her insight is enlightening.

What do you want from your career? What’s stopping you from getting there? Why aren’t you playing big? These are the questions Cindy posits and she shares advice for addressing the questions and finding answers. One of the answers may be coaching: find out exactly how to start reaching your full potential and maybe decide if coaching can help you get there.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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38 - Your Moment of Reckoning

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 1 Dec 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines the disconnect between the increasing expectations of leaders and the lower levels of engagement in the workforce. Work is becoming less meaningful because leaders feel pressure to deliver more and there are fewer people to do that work. What part of this equation can we change so we can create the career we want?

The continuing trend of trying to do more with less was meant to increase productivity but instead overburdened workers. We collectively have too much to do and no time to enjoy our accomplishments. This divide is making us disenchanted with our work. When we are constantly told “When things calm down…” but nothing ever changes, how long can we continue the grind until we realize we need an intentional change?

Cindy advises that the solution is not to work even harder or faster. Instead she details how we have accepted the undermining comments and pressure that continue to keep us stuck as cogs in the machine. Cindy shares four mistakes we make that keep us trapped and away from the careers we desire: 1) surrounding ourselves with the wrong people, 2) not thinking we are worthy, 3) focusing only on what we do not want, 4) holding on when it’s time to let go. She breaks all of these down in ways that illuminate a path out of the grind and into the fulfilling work lives we desire.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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37 - It's Not Personal

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 24 Nov 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the need to gain emotional distance from what others are going through and project onto us. We need to learn not to take things personally. Most things are not about us and Cindy has advice on how to obtain the calm needed to keep things in perspective.

People all tend to live in their own worlds, wrapped up in whatever they’re going through. When they lash out or project their issues and we take it personally, we’re allowing ourselves to be offended by something that isn’t about us. Cindy wants to help us learn to choose what to believe and how to become less affected by the opinions of others.

Cindy advises us to remember that we are not responsible for the actions of others, only for our own. She guides us into considering boundaries and deciding to commit to changing our lifestyles. She explains the five most common negative emotions that arise in the workplace - frustration, worry, disappointment, dislike, and anger - and details how we can work to change our reactions to each one.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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36 - See What's Possible

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 17 Nov 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about our vision for our future in today’s episode. What is it that we want to do and where do we see ourselves? She has some sage advice on how not to let worry and disbelief get in our way when reaching for our futures.

We tend to get weighed down by the practical questions of ‘how’ when we envision our future and that realistic concern keeps us from truly dreaming. But what do we want for ourselves without the ‘how’ getting in the way? Cindy advises us to not get bogged down in the ‘how’ but to let ourselves believe in possibilities.

Cindy discusses how our confidence and willingness to try new things disappears as we grow older. We allow fear and disbelief in our abilities to replace our confidence. We put the word ‘impossible’ into our thinking and limit ourselves. Cindy shares how to conquer this thinking, how to drown out the messages that say we can’t do something, and how to believe that our success is possible.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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35 - Job Crafting

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 10 Nov 2022 05:00:00 +0000

In today’s episode Cindy Esliger talks about that feeling of job dissatisfaction, the slump, that often comes in the middle of our careers. She identifies why the initial excitement of the job fades and offers up advice on how to regain our original enthusiasm.

There are many reasons for mundanity to settle into our job routine: that day in, day out feeling that pushes us towards unhappiness, stress, and diminished engagement. Cindy offers up that it’s maybe time to look for new challenges, expand our skill set, or push for promotion. She gives us two questions to ask at this point: What type of work makes us feel good? What are our strengths?

How do we reinvigorate our sense of purpose in our careers? Cindy walks us through five strategies for creating sustainable patterns to help us focus on what matters most. The goal is to fall in love with our jobs all over again. There are ways to craft our jobs into a better fit for us and Cindy’s four steps are to decide what we want to change, to look for a win-win situation, to put the changes into practice, and to ensure the changes have the desired effect. With Cindy’s advice we can reclaim that initial excitement and dive into a new purpose.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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34 - The Stories We Tell Ourselves

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 3 Nov 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the stories we share and the stories we tell ourselves in this episode. Sometimes these stories become rigidly fixed in our minds when they’re actually only our perspective on things. Cindy shares how to take another view of our stories and open ourselves to more perspectives.

When a story we’re holding onto doesn’t serve to help us grow or open us to new options, it’s time to examine how we tell those stories in the first place. Cindy suggests that we shift dysfunctional stories into a more constructive space. To that end, she explores six ways to tell ourselves more useful stories: 1. Add complexity. 2. Invite curiosity. 3. Do something. 4. Take responsibility. 5. Design a better future. 6. Develop resilience.

Power comes from not allowing ourselves to be the victims of our stories and in opening up to more choices with more balanced stories. If we can accept a version of events that’s more self-reflective, we’ll be open to more possibilities. It can be frustrating to make this shift, however, so Cindy offers a four step process for dealing with such setbacks. We will learn more about ourselves with this insight and Cindy is here to help guide us to something bigger.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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33 - Finding Your Power

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 27 Oct 2022 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger asks “Are you giving away your power?” at the start of this episode. The question sets the tone for addressing the ways in which we allow control of our lives and careers to be held by someone else. She then guides us through the steps to reclaiming our power.

The impact external factors have on our lives is only as great as we are willing to allow. We give our power away to the opinions, criticisms, and demands of others too easily, to the detriment of ourselves. Cindy explains how getting in touch with our true desires will define what we actually want out of life and work, and she shares five steps on how to figure that out. Focus on what we really want helps us assert ourselves.

Our power can also be challenged through the competitive verbal tactics others use to claim their place. Cindy details the three most common of these tactics - interrupting, stealing ideas, and using undermining comments - and breaks down how to address and deal with each one to our advantage. This episode encourages believing in ourselves, and with Cindy’s advice, will help us put that self-belief into action.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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32 - Misery Loves Company

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 04:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines complaining that doesn’t strive for solutions in this episode. Those people who whine and complain about how things are but resist solutions are the people holding us back. Cindy talks about how to look for possibilities instead of complaints.

We all need to vent and get things off our chest from time to time, that’s healthy. But when we complain repeatedly about the same thing and never look for a way to address or solve the problem, we’re compounding the problems at hand. Cindy breaks down how complaining has a negative impact on our lives and psychology.

Complaining is ineffective and useless if we won’t use it to seek out improvement and address issues. Cindy notes that we need to fix the balance of complaining more than we’re resolving. Negativity holds us back and Cindy has sound advice for turning our frustrations into positive action instead of repetitive misery. It’s time to examine why we’re complaining and what we can do to remedy it.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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31 - What's Wrong and Who's to Blame

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 13 Oct 2022 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode Cindy Esliger talks about the blame game. We want to know why things go wrong and we like distancing ourselves from the problem, which often leads to blame. Cindy gets into how this causes issues and how to break the finger-pointing habit.

We lean into a tendency to talk in circles around a problem, passing the buck and assigning blame, when really we should know how to take responsibility for our actions when needed. Cindy details exactly how this erodes an organization or team. She gives good reasons for working to resolve an issue instead of simply targeting a scapegoat.

The blame game is played in many ways so Cindy shares four warning signs to watch out for. She then gives three steps on how to direct the discussion in a more productive direction. But even better than responding well to the blame game is avoiding it in the first place. Cindy lays out three ways to prevent the culture of blame from taking hold and challenges us each to ask five key questions about our own responsibility when something goes wrong.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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30 - Learn to be Savvy to Survive

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 6 Oct 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger speaks to the reality of office politics in this episode. Women with high levels of political skill are more likely to achieve career progression in male dominated organizations. The workplace is not based on merit, so Cindy imparts advice on how to find savvy tactics that work for you.

It is possible to participate in the game of influence with integrity and it’s important to learn how to do so in order to succeed. Influence, specifically organizational influence, is how people sell ideas and get credit. Cindy explains how it involves collaboration, building alliances, and doing favors. She breaks down how to grow awareness in political situations and why knowing yourself is part of how you achieve the necessary savvy.

Cindy details how to play to your strengths while being adaptable. It isn’t necessary to become manipulative but you can’t remain naive or be a doormat in your workplace. She advises consciously deciding to get in the game and start learning integrity in influence. Listen to your inner sage so you can make a positive impact in your organization and for your advancement. Cindy shares practical tips and the wisdom of experience to assist you in navigating office politics.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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29 - Persuasion is an Art

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 29 Sep 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses the art of persuasion in today’s episode. Everything is a negotiation and well refined social skills are a necessity for advancement. Persuasion is a key psychological component of life.

In order to persuade someone, Cindy details the three key characteristics related to persuasiveness: authority, honesty, and likeability. Confidence, eye contact, and honesty are all important but Cindy also stresses that people are more likely to agree with someone they like. Likeability often tips the scales of persuasion.

Cindy explains that the need to belong within a community often drives people to reject clear facts in favor of a stubborn perspective. Nobody wants to be seen as going against the crowd in case of losing social ties. She advises to form a community with the person you want to persuade and let the idea you’re presenting become their own idea. Study those at your work who advance and those who don’t. Listen to Cindy point out what to look for and how to apply it to yourself.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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28 - The Key to Gaining Influence

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger introduces the power of persuasion and influence in this episode. Cindy describes how honing good communication skills and learning to listen well will aid in gaining greater influence over someone else’s thinking.

There are eight common barriers we face in successfully influencing people. Cindy lists all eight and breaks down why each is ineffective. She suggests that with new ideas we will have better success packing them more closely to what people are already familiar with. This combats the fear of change. Work that into one of the five styles of influence Cindy names: reasoning, incentivizing, listening, finding common ground, and stepping back.

Cindy stresses that because we all really want to be heard and feel that our point of view is understood, active listening techniques become a key way to establish connection. She describes eight techniques for active listening from body language to clarification. In order to influence others, the content of our message is as important as how it is delivered and how it relates to the person receiving it. Cindy’s advice will prove invaluable to all future conversations.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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27 - Stop Busy Bragging

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 15 Sep 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the glorification of busy in this episode. She asks us all to stop bragging about how busy we are. Focusing on spending our time thoughtfully, and achieving balance in our lives with more personal time, will lead to being happier and healthier.

There has been a steady glamorizing of being busy; we love to tell each other how busy we are. Cindy says “being busy is a disease” and directs us to focus on what we produce instead of how busy we look. Managers can help create a culture that focuses on what’s getting done, not who sends an email the latest or arrives the earliest.

Cindy details that letting go of the need to be and appear busy, and refocusing on being efficient with our work requires a shift in thinking. She has advice on how to identify the things we need to do to move the needle from busy to effective. It’s all about not wasting our time, realizing that pursuing ambitions does not need to be a struggle, and not being afraid to have a life outside of work. We need to stop praising the culture of ‘busy’ and start rearranging our priorities.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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26 - Fear of Failure

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 8 Sep 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses failure and our fear of it in this episode. Failure isn’t pleasant and we try to avoid it, but it’s necessary for learning and progress. Cindy unpacks all the ways in which avoiding failure over the fear of being embarrassed or called out holds us back from our own success.

“Failure is life’s greatest teacher,” Cindy tells us. We dislike the negative feedback that can spring from failure but there are ways to navigate that feedback so it grows perseverance in us. Cindy advises to let go of our need to be immediately amazing in favor of just taking action. It’s okay to not succeed on your first try.

Cindy details how to not let fear run our lives by developing the all-important skills of adaptation and resilience. We often struggle with what others will think of us and that prevents us from moving forward. So we need to examine the roots of our fear and teach ourselves that we’re allowed to dream, we’re allowed to fail, and when we work through what faltering teaches us we are closer to success. Cindy encourages us all to believe in ourselves and shares how to allow ourselves to learn as we go.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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25 - If Not Now, When?

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 1 Sep 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses doing the things we want to do in this episode. She asks why we’ve been putting off those goals, dreams, or plans we have for ourselves. Perhaps it’s a promotion or a new position that we desire. It’s time to stop thinking and make the change.

Everyone has things they put off for another time. It’s not just you. But why are we putting things off and when will we do them? Cindy challenges us to ask what truly matters in our lives and make an action plan to achieve the dreams we have. Planning is well and good but to achieve success we must take action.

Cindy lays out six ways to improve our capabilities and prepare for seizing that new job opportunity or role. One, complete work thoroughly and independently. Two, when asking questions, come with solutions as well. Three, expand your skill set. Four, find opportunities to continue your learning and education. Five, be aware of the economic pressures facing your organization. And six, use good judgment in carrying out your responsibilities. Let others know what your objectives are and go after them, don’t wait for an invitation.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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24 - Know Your Value

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 25 Aug 2022 05:00:00 +0000

This episode, Cindy Esliger addresses knowing your value and negotiating for the compensation you deserve. Women are more likely to be offered less than men and are discouraged from placing much emphasis on money. But Cindy has advice on how to change that mindset and navigate negotiations.

Cindy identifies five reasons for negotiating job offers. 1) Nobody is doing you a favor by hiring you, 2) You are supposed to negotiate, 3) The first offer is not the best offer, 4) Asking for more does not mean the employment offer will be withdrawn, and 5) You will be respected. Negotiation, done confidently and professionally, will greatly aid in your being compensated according to the value of your talent.

Cindy also addresses confidence and the importance of understanding that you offer valuable skills and knowledge that employers should pay for accordingly. To this end, she shares four key steps to getting exactly what you want at work: 1) Do the legwork, 2) Think outside your salary, 3) Be realistic, and 4) Keep it professional. Choose your words carefully and objectively assess your approach. Cindy’s sage advice will guide you to success in asking for more in salary or benefits.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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23 - What Are Your Triggers

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 18 Aug 2022 06:34:53 +0000

Cindy Esliger guides us through what it is that triggers our frustration. She reveals the surprising fact that what someone says or does may not be the thing that actually sets us off and gives advice on how to dig deep to identify our true triggers.

Cindy identifies how things that trigger us are often rooted in a desire for control that’s been denied us, deeper wounds beneath that, and feelings of inadequacy or lack of worth. We tend to think it’s a combination of the person and situation presented to us that sparks our frustration, but Cindy advises us to “take that moment to get curious” and ask questions about our reaction.

In this episode Cindy explains seven common stressors that trigger frustration: 1) uncertainty, 2) lacking appreciation, 3) lacking creativity, 4) unpredictable environments, 5) experiencing overwhelm, 6) relying on others, and 7) resolving conflict. She unpacks each of these and offers some concrete ways to address them by rewiring our thinking about frustrating situations. And one thing she says is to “witness your thoughts with compassion”.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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22 - What You Need to Believe

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 11 Aug 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger tackles the understanding that our thoughts form our belief system, therefore it’s the thoughts we cling to as indisputable facts about ourselves that are truly holding us back. She dissects how to start questioning and changing these thoughts.

Cindy says that “a belief is just a thought you keep on thinking” and many of our victim mentality inclinations and limiting beliefs come from thoughts we latched onto at some point and never questioned. We hang onto these limiting beliefs out of fear but perhaps it’s time to really question where the thoughts originated and challenge them.

In this episode Cindy asks us to address our limiting beliefs one at a time. She asks us to take each belief that is holding us back and question it, ask if it’s really true, examine how we can let it go. She offers three steps for how to change what we believe: 1) Find out what we believe now, 2) Decide what you want to believe, 3) Practice believing. Cindy offers sage advice for every step of the process.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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21 - More than a Seat at the Table

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 4 Aug 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the sensitive subject of gender equality in today’s episode. Getting a seat at the proverbial table in the workplace is part of the battle but it isn’t the end goal, it’s just the beginning. Cindy lays out what’s at stake and how to reframe our thinking.

Cindy directly acknowledges that women are still more frequently undervalued in workplaces and their contributions more likely to be ignored or not sought out. Hard work, which often got us through elementary school, is not enough in career settings. Now you must employ strategic thinking, organizational awareness, and political savvy. Cindy draws on her own experience in offering guidance.

In this episode Cindy unpacks how getting a seat at the table is more difficult for women. She highlights how that seat is important and offers four ways to change your thinking in obtaining it. 1. It’s more than just optics, 2. We’re not broken, 3. Take up space, and 4. Upgrade the stories we tell ourselves. But getting the seat is not the end goal, either. It’s how we reshape the balance of gender equality for the better, demanding that women be seen equitably so future generations can thrive with opportunity.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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20 - Do You Have to Do it All to Have it All

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 28 Jul 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Today Cindy Esliger talks about all or nothing thinking and the pursuit of perfection. There is a give and take in life where some things must be good enough to allow us time to achieve perfection elsewhere.

Perfectionism stems from fear of not being good enough and the need to be perfect in all things actually gets in the way of success. Cindy highlights how perfectionist tendencies contribute to procrastination and avoidance in addressing negative situations and emotions. Striving for excellence and wanting to be perfect are also different things.

In this episode Cindy gives the sage advice that not everything in life needs to be perfect, that some things are fine being ‘fit for purpose’. Allowing yourself the grace of doing some things well enough to suit the purpose will free you up to focus on achieving higher levels of success, and working to perfection, in other areas. She stresses that compassion for self is important. You don’t have to do everything at the utmost level of mastery.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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19 - What Will This Make Possible

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 21 Jul 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger focuses our attention on the mindset shift required to reach our goals. We set big goals but lose steam before we make it happen, so Cindy has steps and strategies to help with focusing ourselves on what needs to be done every day.

When you think about your future goals, are you overwhelmed by the problems of today? Can you clearly see why you want your imagined future? Cindy offers four things to build into our morning routine to keep us focused on making progress. 1. Write your goal down. 2. Write down a few reasons why it’s important. 3. Write down why you won’t make it happen today. 4. Write down the one thing you will do today to move forward.

In this episode Cindy directs us to imagine our future self in their clearly defined goal and to start taking advice from that future self who has achieved success. She shares three reasons why our future self knows what we need to do right now to reach the goal, and why mindset really matters more than the plan we lay out. Our goals are within our reach when we decide to overcome our doubts and accomplish them.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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18 - You Can Do Hard Things

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 14 Jul 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Limiting beliefs and achieving hard things is the topic of today’s podcast. Cindy Esliger explores how the discomfort of doing hard things causes us to limit our belief in our own abilities. She has advice for how to approach difficulties with the mindset that we can overcome them.

Doing hard things challenges us in ways that cause us to grow. The more we accomplish the hard things, the stronger we will get. Cindy understands, however, that we will have to push against our own fear to make this happen. Our fear and doubt create our limiting beliefs and there are three kinds we must fight against: limiting beliefs about the world, about others, and primarily about ourselves.

In this episode Cindy identifies four ways to tell whether we’re falling into the trap of limiting beliefs: through black and white thinking, by blaming ourselves for random negative occurrences, by assuming the worst, and through universalizing. If we can identify these, we can start to work past them to foster our ability to achieve our goals. Cindy gives us a six step process designed to take us through exchanging limiting beliefs for empowering ones. Success is something we must believe is possible and Cindy can help us get there.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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17 - Decide to Decide

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Jul 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses decision making in today’s episode. She breaks down our tendency to avoid making hard decisions with strategic advice on overcoming our mental blocks about not knowing what we want.

Our belief that decisions are right or wrong creates a lot of pressure for us to make the right ones. Cindy acknowledges that this is part of why we prefer to sit in indecision rather than be wrong. She advises to embrace decisions not as right or wrong, good or bad, but as the right choice in this moment.

In this episode Cindy presents four steps designed to help take the confusion out of decision-making. First, consider everything. Second, anticipate success. Third, what would you do if you couldn’t fail? And fourth, what would your future self tell you to do? She guides us to view outcomes not as winning or losing but as winning or learning. And she lays out mindset strategies that turn options from frightening obstacles into enjoyable opportunities.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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16 - Silence is not the Solution

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 30 Jun 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger examines silence in this episode: the times when silence can work in your favor versus the times when silence comes at a cost. She has advice on how to use silence effectively and how to overcome the impulse to retreat into it when speaking up would be beneficial.

Cindy details how silence is most useful when employed in conversations, where it makes the other person feel genuinely heard, and in negotiations, when it can be used as a strategic tactic. But silence also gets in the way of creating change when it’s used to avoid pointing out harmful or biased behavior.

In this episode Cindy offers three ways we can influence change and affect bias from where we’re at: become aware, speak up, and become an ally. She addresses both positive and negative potential outcomes of speaking up. Then she explains how to break your silence in ways that help reclaim your power and don’t just invite confrontation. Choosing against silence to be an ally to those harmed by bias helps everyone experience a better workplace.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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15 - What's Done is Done

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger focuses our attention on leaving the past behind us and looking forward to who we are becoming. She addresses how worry and our own limiting beliefs can derail our ability to make better choices for ourselves.

Cindy explores the reasons why we allow ourselves to dwell in the past. We embrace criticism and fix our attention on worst case scenarios. We keep ourselves in a comfort zone through fear or a chaotic life. But Cindy understands that the key to achieving dreams and greater success lies in turning fear into excitement and letting go of our worry.

In this episode Cindy shares why worry affects our decision making progress and the strategies we can employ to eliminate the self imposed upper limits that hold us back. She gives us two questions to ask ourselves about worry: is it a real possibility, and is there any action we can take immediately to make a positive difference? She then details a four step process for getting out of the worry trap. Ultimately she asks us to determine our values because the values we define for ourselves allow us to embrace important decisions that move us forward for the better.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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14 - No One Has it All Figured Out

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger explores imposter syndrome in this episode - that persistent fear that people will somehow find out we don’t know what we’re doing. We all have it. Cindy breaks down exactly what it is, the common symptoms, and then lays out strategies to help us overcome that self doubt.

Cindy defines imposter syndrome as a psychological pattern in which we doubt our skills, intelligence, or competence to the point of fearing we’ll be exposed as a fraud. There are five common symptoms of imposter syndrome, which she lists as 1. Wondering why you were selected 2. Believing anyone could do what you’re doing 3. Disregarding compliments 4. Being convinced you don’t have enough experience, and 5. Working late on your own to avoid asking for help or being a bother.

However, according to Cindy, feeling like an imposter is a necessary part of trying something new. Fear of failure, or even fear of success, is something everyone experiences. Rising above that fear is necessary growth for moving forward. Women also frequently feel like imposters in male dominated fields, but external societal perceptions of female incompetence are not personal and your qualifications earn you a place at the table. Cindy shares six key strategies to help combat those feelings of inadequacy so you can rise to success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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13 - Find Your People

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 9 Jun 2022 05:00:00 +0000

This episode is about finding our people and the community we as humans so vitally need. Cindy Esliger talks about the key ingredient required for all relationships, why we are hardwired to belong, and explores the types of people we each need around us. “Connecting with people can be challenging, but your people are out there.”

Cindy acknowledges that we carry a lot of fear with us due to past betrayal or hurt. We seek the approval of others but are also afraid of giving others the power to injure us again. However, Cindy encourages us to take the risk with cautious open minds. There are five types of people we need in our lives that we should be on the lookout for: the cheerleaders, the allies, the mentors, the advocates, and the supporters.

Friendships change as we age and not everyone is with us for our whole journey. Be ready to let friends go when it’s necessary. If you can’t depend on them, they don’t support who you are, or they demean you, take a step back from them. She has sage advice on how to find new people to fulfill us even when our instinct is to build a wall and not trust anyone. Listen to this episode and learn the importance of growth, embracing who you are, and reaching out to people who both share your interests and expand your perspectives.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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12 - Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 2 Jun 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses the subject of fear in today’s episode. She acknowledges that fear is natural and something everyone feels, and she discusses how to move forward past the fears that may be holding us back. She has real insight about how to handle fear and how to learn to manage doubt.

Cindy first offers four tips for embracing your fear. One, get on with it. Two, show some compassion. Three, question yourself. And four, what can you learn from this? She goes into detail on what each step means. Part of achieving success in conquering fear is acknowledging that you are afraid. Then take one step at a time to move towards something scary in spite of the fear. Be afraid and do it anyway.

Fear itself is broken down into four levels by Cindy. The fear of what could or will happen, which are largely things we have no control over. The fear of making the wrong decision. The fear of how you do or will feel. And the fear that you’ll be unable to handle what life throws at you. However, Cindy walks you through how common these fears are and how hanging back in comfort is essentially limiting yourself. She offers some real advice on how to trust yourself and develop a way of thinking that embraces change in spite of fear.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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11 - Expand Your Skill Set

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 26 May 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses how to examine your career in terms of opportunities and advancement. She has sound advice on how to make yourself more competitive so you can take responsibility for your own career. It’s time to learn how to expand your skill set and work your interpersonal strengths to overcome professional setbacks.

Cindy names three main career roadblocks that can stall any career. Derailment, or a change in career momentum; setbacks, where you’re overlooked in a situation; and stagnation, where you’re overlooked or ignored repeatedly. She suggests considering whether we might be unknowingly sabotaging our own careers and advises adding complementary skills to existing strengths to stay on top of professional success. It’s not just the technical proficiency that companies reward, it’s a varied array of skills including the all-important soft skills.

Cindy names leadership, communication, innovation, stress management, and interpersonal skills as some of those key soft skills that are fundamental to develop. Specialization is good, but a broad range of competencies is better and opens more doors. Building and maintaining a professional network is also important to success. Cindy details ten things that successful people do not do as a guide for how to expand your skill set. The goal is to build a strong, broad, compelling career for yourself by making your talents and skills impossible to overlook.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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10 - Great Work Doesn't Speak For Itself

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 19 May 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger talks about the reasons why we undervalue ourselves at work and the toll that takes on our careers. She acknowledges that women have a harder time getting their work noticed and taken seriously. She offers sound advice on how to change our mindset about what we have to offer and on learning to self promote.

Cindy shares from her own past experience in feeling uncomfortable with speaking up about her accomplishments. She relates that, in hindsight, she understands that not speaking up about how she smoothed over client issues meant her work went unnoticed by her boss. It’s important to create visibility around your own success so your results get the recognition they deserve.

Cindy lays out four steps to unlock your potential. First, create your vision. Second, create your action plan. Third, make it happen. And fourth, amplify your impact to achieve greater influence. She explains in detail how to approach each step, how to change how you may feel about the negative associations tied to self promotion, and why these steps are so important to reaching your goals.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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09 - Let Them Be Wrong About You

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 12 May 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses how we all share responsibility for how we are treated and why worrying about the opinions of others is wasted energy. She acknowledges the struggles and obstacles women face that are different to those of men, and has thoughtful advice for everyone on how to manage people’s perceptions.

Cindy understands that the social capital necessary for career advancement is often based in activities and attitudes not often available to women. She explains that the favorable conditions required for success, however, can be managed by us in the ways we use political strategies. She lays out three keys to create advantageous political strategies: frame ideas in appealing ways with influential people, manage people’s perceptions through clear response, and by arranging the right plan with the right support people in place.

Cindy also speaks to people pleasing and the worry we carry over the opinions of others. She provides four steps to guide us in releasing worry about what people think. Building relationships and partnerships is essential to success at work, but your own opinion of yourself is the most important. Worry about your opinion, not the opinions of others, and forge success by staying true to yourself and your own values.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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08 - Create Space to Succeed

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 5 May 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger discusses the subject of boundaries, both personal and professional, in this episode. She introduces the idea that boundaries are not limiting but are instead about managing the finite resources of our energy and time. We create more success for ourselves when we are able to set limits to the demands placed on us.

Boundaries can include caring for our personal space, comfort, work efforts, time, and energy. Yet even though such limits are valuable, we find it difficult to set boundaries and say no to people. Cindy has two guidelines for setting boundaries: don't make boundaries from a place of anger or frustration, and take action from a place of self care.

Cindy gives examples of her own boundaries, and former lack of limits in her job, and discusses how to gain control of our own experiences and feelings. We are not responsible for how others feel, but for our own feelings. Communicating and respecting our own boundaries is vital to our sense of wellness. Cindy offers sound advice on how to be committed to our own success through boundary setting.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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07 - Embrace the Difference

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 28 Apr 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses differences and how differences are what make us stand out from the crowd. When we try too hard to fit in and hide our quirks and flaws, we may end up undermining ourselves. Cindy encourages everyone to embrace the difference and avoid trying too hard to contort into a box or please people at the expense of our authentic selves.

Some of the differences she notes in the workplace are the differing standards that men and women are held to. The behaviors that make men appear confident and competent, such as speaking up in meetings and acting assertively, are often held against women in the same context. Women who speak up and act assertively at work are seen as aggressive and women are afraid to embody this for fear of being disliked.

Cindy acknowledges the many inequalities at play in a workplace but stresses that office politics are vital for advancing individual goals. She refers to a Richard Petty quote that confidence is the stuff that turns thoughts into action. Confidence is important and part of our confidence stems from understanding our abilities and embracing the very fact that we are different. She encourages everyone to find their voice and not succumb to the pressures to fit in.

Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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06 - The Meritocracy Myth

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 21 Apr 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger directly addresses the myth about the workplace being a meritocracy in this episode. Specifically for women, the key to achieving promotions, raises, and accolades is not simply working harder with longer hours. The workplace is not like school with reward through smarts and effort, and Cindy details exactly what women need to understand to get ahead.

Cindy explains how the corporate explanation of being not quite ready for a promotion leads women to work harder, pursue more education, attend more seminars, and follow all the advice offered on how to become more assertive at work - only to not be recognized or promoted the next year. Women will often watch men with fewer qualifications and less outstanding performance get promoted ahead of them and believe they are the problem. But Cindy asserts that women are not the problem, the workplace is.

Cindy details how women need to view work as political and enter the game. Women not only need to become more politically savvy, but be more aware of office politics, understand unwritten rules, and use natural abilities to read people to work in alignment with direct reports and managers. She explains how to gain insight into our own behavior and strengths while focusing less on the myth of meritocracy and more on increasing positional power. Her insights offer sound ideas for success in high pressure business environments.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Guide for The Meritocracy Myth

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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05 - Everything is a Negotiation

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 14 Apr 2022 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores the art of negotiation and how so much of our daily lives involves negotiation, sometimes before we even realize it’s happening. She explains essential truths about negotiation and relationships as well as how to approach such exchanges with confidence.

Cindy points out that most negotiations occur between people with whom we already have an ongoing relationship. This means we need to negotiate in ways that both lead to success and avoid inflicting damage on that relationship. She advises asking questions to better understand the interests at play and to discuss hypothetical outcomes to encourage conversational flow and examine how a deal could work for both parties.

A key part of successful negotiation is confidence in ourselves and our abilities. We need to be able to assess our own strengths, understand why we’re being approached with an opportunity, and not be afraid to make demands or ask questions that benefit our own situation. Effective communication is important to both parties feeling heard. Avoid making concessions just to keep the peace, instead find the differences that allow room for compromise. Cindy shares many thoughtful insights into negotiating successfully and how to prepare for those future conversations.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Guide for Everything is a Negotiation

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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04 - Achieving Extraordinary Success

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Apr 2022 05:15:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses the thinking and fear holding us back from achieving the extraordinary success we want in life. She breaks down what we fear and how it impacts our belief in ourselves and our ability to dream big. Then she shines light on what steps can help us overcome these barriers.

Cindy points out that none of us truly know our limits so when we downsize our dreams and stay within easy boundaries, we are limiting ourselves through that thinking. She asks “why not go big” in terms of our goals. Believing we are capable of much more opens doors to possibilities we may not have seen before. Cindy acknowledges that we often fear failure which is why we limit our thinking, but stresses that failure is a necessary part of growth and encourages us to overcome that fear.

In exploring how to dream big and work towards achieving large success goals, Cindy notes that there are often three categories of tasks we encounter: the doable, those that stretch us, and those that challenge what’s possible. She breaks down how to accomplish each type of task by stepping outside our comfort zone and deciding on a direction to take. Then she details the simple formula of linking the reason for achieving the goal to committing to making it a priority, and finally to taking the steps to make it happen. Cindy’s insight sheds light on how far we can each go in realizing extraordinary success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Guide for Achieving Extraordinary Success

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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03 - Let Them Be Who They Are

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Apr 2022 05:10:00 +0000

In this episode, Cindy Esliger discusses how to let go of the emotional reactions we tie to our expectations of other people. She introduces four tips on how to stop trying to control others and details how letting go of that control will free us from expending energy on emotional reactions to the choices of others.

Cindy’s four key pieces of advice on letting go of control are deceptively simple. The first is to let them be. The second is that happiness is a choice. Third is to control what you can control. And fourth is to stop arguing with reality. In examining these four points, Cindy details exactly how we take on other people’s adherence or failure to do what we want them to by making their choices carry emotional weight in us. She explains that what we really need is to take responsibility for our own emotions and realize that expectations shouldn’t have feelings attached to them.

Through the exploration of all four tips, Cindy stresses that the main focus we should have is on ourselves, on the responsibility we have for our own choices, and on choosing not to tie our emotional happiness to the expectations we place on others. Expectations, while sometimes necessary as a parent or boss, carry consequences but should not control our feelings. She urges listeners to think about the rewards of delayed gratification by letting go of needing to feel good about situations and responses immediately.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Guide for Let Them Be Who They Are

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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02 - Change Your Thoughts

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Apr 2022 05:05:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger addresses our desire to change by examining the power that thought holds in relation to changes we want to make. Thought patterns are powerful feeling generators that in turn drive our actions, so it’s vital to understand how thought creation works in order to achieve lasting change and success.

Cindy details how our thoughts create our feelings. So when we change our thoughts we change how we feel and those new feelings inspire changes in our actions. There are three steps in the thought creation process, as identified by Cindy. First, finding out what we’re thinking now. Second, creating a new intentional thought to better manage our emotions. And third, committing to believing the new thoughts. This process outlines the power we have to initiate our own growth.

Changing thought creation leads to a change in behavior, which can also be broken down into three parts. As Cindy explains, first is a change in identity, second is a change in processes, and third is a change in outcomes. She further examines how our identities and beliefs are linked and how the language we use in reference to ourselves matters. When she left engineering she realized she could still identify as an engineer, and when she began coach training it became important to self-identify as a coach. Cindy’s insight and experience lay bare how change results in life through shifting our focus from outcomes to our thoughts and identity.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Guide for Changing Your Thoughts

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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01 - The Barriers We Face

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Thu, 7 Apr 2022 05:00:00 +0000

Cindy Esliger introduces the impetus behind Stop Sabotaging Your Success by sharing part of her career as an engineer and by addressing the barriers that confront women on their paths to success in engineering and technology sectors. Some of the challenges being faced are external - societal and structural - but some are internal, and Cindy’s goal is to provide insight and support to women in the industry.

Cindy Esliger breaks down the three main keys to success as being 1. Performance, 2. External Perception, and 3. Visibility. She then details the “three big buckets”, as she calls them, that the challenges standing between women and those key success factors come in. First are the societal barriers. Second are the organizational or structural barriers. And third are the personal barriers. She speaks from firsthand experience about how each of these buckets of barriers manifests and works differently for women than men in the engineering and technology spaces.

As she explains the barriers, she details exactly how they appear and how women often respond to them either by choice or societal conditioning. She asks key questions of every listener along the way, questions designed to address how every listener personally handles the obstacles and to assist in reflection on how women may rise above challenges and microaggressions. Cindy’s professed desire is to create mentors, a support circle for women coming up in the industry, and to foster their ability to realize success for their futures.

About Stop Sabotaging Your Success:

This is the podcast for ambitious, professional women trying to advance their careers, who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work.

If you’re ready to learn how to decide what you want and go after it confidently, then you’re in the right place. You have more power than you realize.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Guide for Identifying Your Barriers

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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Coming Soon: Stop Sabotaging Your Success

info@cindyesliger.com (Cindy Esliger) — Tue, 15 Mar 2022 18:12:00 +0000

Coming Soon: Stop Sabotaging Your Success, the podcast for ambitious, professional women who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work.

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.