Weird AF News | Weird News Daily

Man dressed as the Grim Reaper to scare hospital patients. Vampire guy left dead animals outside churches.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 5 Aug 2026 23:00:31 +0000

Naked man jumps off the Brooklyn Bridge, survives and is charged. A vampire obsessed man arrested after leaving animal corpses outside of churches. Man fined after dressing up as Grim Reaper and scaring hospital patients. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cops dress up as plants to catch drivers on their phones. CEO asks job seekers to tattoo his logo in order to get an interview.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 4 Aug 2026 21:22:14 +0000

Cops dressed as bushes catch 74 drivers on their phones in 6 hours in central Jersey. Awful CEO asks job seekers to tattoo themselves with his company logo in order to be granted a job interview. Minnesota man arrested after using homemade spike strips to keep children away from his property. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Naked man claims to be Jesus crashes car into a church. Elderly lady does drive-by bear spray attack at Trader Joe's.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 3 Aug 2026 22:08:45 +0000

Naked man claiming to be Jesus crashes his car into a church in Detroit. Elderly woman arrested for a drive-by bear spray attack in a Trader Joe's parking lot. Vietnamese doctors perform the nation's first successful penis transplant. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman pulls a gun on his "Sugar Baby" that he met on Tinder. Mail carrier stole 80 cats from customers on her mail route.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 31 Jul 2026 22:38:16 +0000

Florida Friday - Floridaman pulls a gun on his "Sugar Baby" that he met on Tinder after she tried to leave the date. Floridaman attacks a Florida woman with a pizza pan at the movie theater after she laughed too loud. 77 year old Florida woman mail carrier stole 100 animals from her neighborhood mail route. Florida woman attacked her senior relative with a cup of urine at a family gathering. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Space mirror will beam sunlight back down to Earth and roast us all. Australians fined over $4 for failing to vote in last election.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 30 Jul 2026 21:49:29 +0000

Australian citizens fined over $4 million for failing to vote in the last compulsory election. An American hiker in Montana impaled himself on top of a mountain and then walked 10 miles back down. US government approves a giant space mirror to deliver sunlight to Earth. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Someone pooped in the moshpit and the police were called. Wife bites husband's toes for years to snap him out of his coma.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 29 Jul 2026 21:55:11 +0000

Police were called after a concertgoer defecated in the moshpit of a Devilskin concert in New Zealand. Wife in China spends years biting her husband's to snap him out of a coma. There is a Scream Club in Chicago that encourages members to scream and let it all out by the lake. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Pet Tarot card readings are popular in Korea. Dog owners must clean up urine or be fined in Switzerland.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Jul 2026 21:14:48 +0000

Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Half naked mime covered in baby oil terrorized women in a forest. Family finds dead stranger in the freezer of a dead relative.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 27 Jul 2026 21:35:52 +0000

Half naked mime covered in baby oil terrorized women in a Massachusetts park. Russian authorities are going to raid shopping malls for radical youths. Family discovers body of a dead stranger in the freezer of their recently deceased relative in Alaska. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman peppersprays children in a pet store for not petting HIM. Woman stabs her friend after arguing about drinking beer in the Uber.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 Jul 2026 21:59:12 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman stabbed her friend after arguing about drinking beer in their UBER. A Floridaman with a flamethrower barricaded himself inside an RV in a Walmart parking lot. Floridaman arrested living on multiple boats that didnt belong to him AKA Squater Piracy. Floridaman arrested for pepperspraying a family in a pet store for not petting HIM. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Men only gyms seek to protect Christian men from lusty women. MLB fan slaps another for not standing during National Anthem.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 23 Jul 2026 22:07:40 +0000

Major League Baseball fan slaps another fan for not standing during the National Anthem. Large mysterious metal spaceballs are being found on a beach in Queensland, Australia. Men only gyms seek to protect Christian men from those lusty women. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hitler's birthplace reopens as a police station. Ant toppings on a dessert may lead to jail for a restaurant owner.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Jul 2026 20:56:29 +0000

Michelin star restaurant owner in South Korea faces jail for serving dessert topped with ants. CD sales are on the rise despite Gen Z lacking CD players. Adolf Hitler's birthplace in Austria re-opens as a police station. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Japan offers Human Refrigerators to keep cool. Prisoner wins legal right to mail his fluids to a lover.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 21 Jul 2026 09:00:00 +0000

Japan has a Human Refrigerator to keep you cool in summer, it looks like a giant vending machine. Prisoner won a legal battle to send and receive bodily covered letters with his fiance. Three women set world records at the annual Lumberjack Championship in Wisconsin.

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Naked train surfer was arrested in Denver. 82 year old grandma survived nine days alone in her bathtub.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 Jul 2026 09:10:00 +0000

82 year old woman survived 9 days trapped in her bathtub after a fall. Mexico warns its' citizens of a diarrhea risk when visiting the US. Man arrested after surfing naked on a moving train in Denver.

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Florida granny gets mailed obscene license plate from DMV. Two school principals arrested for DUI in same car on same night.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 Jul 2026 22:44:24 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Dead python will get you a free pizza at this Florida restaurant. Florida department of motor vehicles sent a granny an obscene license plate. Two Florida school principals arrested for drunk driving same car on same night. Florida politician claims giraffes proves being gay is not natural.

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Stock market influencer stabbed by a follower after lost money. Grandparent Happy Hour goes into law in Minnesota.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 23:01:01 +0000

Stock market investment influencer was stabbed by an angry follower who lost money on their stock tips. Minnesota "Grandparent Happy Hour" is singed into law. Man defecated on the wall of a social club, wiped his bum with a sandwich and claimed he had a bomb.

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Thief robs a bank while holding a kitten. Pubic hair covered croissant goes viral in Thailand.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 15 Jul 2026 21:35:33 +0000

Pubic hair covered croissant goes viral in Pattaya, Thailand. The US Navy gives sailors one year to shave off their beards of exit. Thief robs a bank while holding a kitten.

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Jealous wife bites off husband's organ after sharpening her teeth. Stoned dog is rescued off a high mountain.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Jul 2026 20:59:16 +0000

Chipotle opens its first restaurant location in Mexico. Jealous wife bites her husband's penis off after sharpening her teeth with a file. Very stoned dog rescued on the highest mountain in Scotland after eating some cannabis.

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Woman sewed her roommate's lips together, is arrested. Grocery store stays open after customer dies in the bakery.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 13 Jul 2026 22:13:49 +0000

California grocery store stays open after customer dies in the bakery. Woman arrested in Japan after sewing her roommates lips together. Taco Bell removes certain ingredients after outbreak of explosive diarrhea hits the midwest.

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Floridaman dumps feces filled backpack on his ex for cheating. Florida woman arrested for huffing nitrous oxide in back of ridehare.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 10 Jul 2026 22:22:17 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman rideshare passenger arrested for huffing nitrous oxide in the back of the ride. Floridaman exposed himself to a Doordash delivery person and blamed it on a cat scratch from his kitten. Florida couple arrested after leaving their young children alone in a hotel room while they got drunk at the pool. Floridaman accused of choking his e girlfriend and dumping a backpack full of feces on her as payback for cheating.

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Pilot jumps to his death, leaving his flight trainee to land plane alone. Taylor Swift fans are buying the trash from the streets outside her NYC wedding.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 Jul 2026 22:29:46 +0000

Pilot jumps to his death, leaving his flight trainee to land plane alone. Scientists say that cannibalism is bad for your health. Taylor Swift fans are buying the trash from the streets outside her NYC wedding.

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Man cut off his own genitals and used them to burn a building. Man used a seagull as a weapon, attacked a stranger.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 Jul 2026 22:42:07 +0000

Police investigating after report of a man using a seagull as a weapon in Scotland. Drug dealers in Berlin are leaving free samples in mailboxes according to police. Indiana man cut off his own genitals and used them to commit arson.

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Horse purchases rise as gasoline prices increase. Truck spills 40,000 lbs of Frank's Red Hot Sauce on a highway.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 Jul 2026 21:55:00 +0000

Horse sales are surging in Russia amid the gasoline deficit. Two teens accused of using a plasma cannon to break into a high school after hours. Semitruck spilled 40,000 pounds of Frank's Red Hot sauce across a highway in Ohio.

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World Cup soccer approves of Viagra for their players. Wildfire betting site sparks arson concerns.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 6 Jul 2026 21:37:24 +0000

Pilot crashed his plane into a skyscraper in China for "personal reasons". Wildfire betting site sparks arson concerns in California. English soccer team approved to use Viagra for their Mexico City match.

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Florida woman denies owning the cocaine found in her butt. Shots fired at Florida Walmart over a parking spot.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 4 Jul 2026 00:41:23 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman gets arrested and denies being the owner of the cocaine found inside her butt. Floridaman is arrested for chasing an ambulance and forcing it off the road. Shots fired at Florida Walmart after a dispute over a parking spot escalates. Floridaman pulls gun on his sex partner after a fecal incident in the bedroom.

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Couple arrested after marriage proposal on top of Empire State Building. Man with world's smallest wang launches fundraiser for a new one.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 2 Jul 2026 20:56:24 +0000

Couple arrested after marriage proposal on top of the Empire State Building's spire. Pigeons were dyed blue for a gender reveal party and then released into the wild, which concerns conservation agency. Man who claims to have world's smallest penis launches fundraiser to get a penis enlargement surgery.

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Card tournament canceled over too many smelly players. Pastor defends video of mock firing squad at Bible camp.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 1 Jul 2026 23:08:10 +0000

Game card shop in Oregon suspends a card tournament over smelly players. 79 year old grandma given lifetime ban from a UK supermarket chain after she was rude to the staff. Pastor in Kentucky defends video showing a mock firing squad in front of children at a Bible camp.

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Mexican "Vigilante Batman" wanted for duct taping suspects to poles. Photo of baby Hitler mistakenly printed in middle school yearbook.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 Jun 2026 22:25:21 +0000

Mexican vigilante Batman wanted for taping motorcycle thieves to lamp posts. Utah has banned fireworks for Fourth of July while nearly 400 wildfires rage across the state. Investigation underway after a photo of baby Hitler discovered in a middle school yearbook.

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Serial public pool pooper was caught in big poo investigation. Extreme heat conference canceled for extreme heat.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 Jun 2026 00:17:23 +0000

Extreme heat conference in London canceled because of extreme heat. Man caught defecating in a public swimming pool 18 times (Wales). US government changes the definition of shellfish to - NOT needing a shell.

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Florida woman ran an illegal butt enhancement cafe. Floridaman tried to act out Grand Theft Auto in real life.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 26 Jun 2026 22:22:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - 85 year old Floridaman arrested for street racing over 100mph in his "favorite sports car". Florida woman arrested for running an illegal "Butt Enhancement Cafe". Florida woman arrested after a loud fart leads to death threats in a Dollar General store. Floridaman crashes his truck and then tries to steal a medical helicopter to make a getaway.

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Police declare war on disappearing genitals sorcery. Mutant sewer rats love poison and might be teaching ninjitsu.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 25 Jun 2026 21:40:15 +0000

Mutant sewer rats are spreading rapidly through US cities. Police in Kenya have declared war on the disappearing genitals sorcery. Police in Dublin, Ohio are retiring a parking garage Robo-Cop after 0 arrests and 0 tickets in ten months time.

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Giving herpes to a customer, an Arby's manager is being sued. Missing giraffe in Texas named Gracie, the search is on.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 24 Jun 2026 22:36:08 +0000

Arby's employee accused of giving herpes to a customer. Vietnam police rescue 500 pet cats from being eaten in largest bust ever. The search is on in Texas for a missing giraffe named Gracie.

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Search is on for a magician that vanished a week ago. Japan holds their annual Ninja certification tests.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 23 Jun 2026 22:38:31 +0000

Authorities in Australia are searching for a magician that vanished over a week ago. Japan holds the 18th annual Ninja certification test. Man used a massage gun on his tired eyeballs and it didn't go well.

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World Cup fans are addicted to bad Ranch dressing. Teen jailed in Russia for ordering a pizza in the name of Hitler.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 22 Jun 2026 22:09:31 +0000

Don't chug Ranch dressing at the airport, warns TSA to visiting World Cup fans. Japan cracks down on the ice cream cartel as summer heats up. Russian teenager goes to jail after ordering a pizza in the name of Adolf Hitler.

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Floirdaman pulled over with 34 empty White Claw cans as his passenger. White couple decide to keep their Asian baby after IVF embryo mixup.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 19 Jun 2026 22:27:53 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman gets out of jail and immediately steals a truck from the courthouse and leads police on a car chase. Floridaman arrested after trying to shoot down a drone that was owned and operated by the local police. White couple has IVF mixup but decides to keep their Asian baby that is not genetically their own. Floridaman arrested for DUI after police discover 34 opened White Claw cans in his car.

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Man attacked by a gator after fleeing from police in a swamp. Doctors remove a 20cm bottle from man's rectum, he claims was "cleaning himself".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 Jun 2026 22:50:26 +0000

After running from police on foot, a Louisiana man is attacked by an alligator after jumping into a swamp. Minor league baseball team in Pennsylvania canceled a Pride Night ballgame after players refused to wear a rainbow. Doctors removed a 20cm bottle from a man's rectum after it got stuck while he was "cleaning himself".

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Scottish soccer fans drank all the beer in Boston. China claims foreign "spy turtles" are monitoring their seas.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 21:26:21 +0000

Scottish soccer fans drank all the beer in downtown Boston. Data shows there's groups of men that pee in the sink and call it a "movement". China claims foreign intelligence agencies are spying on them by using Spy Turtles and Spy Fish.

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Dog shoots at a neighbor, destroys a gaming computer. Canadian man arrested for drunk kayaking.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 22:31:00 +0000

Canadian man arrested for drunk kayaking. Study suggests the iPhone invention is responsible for the declining birthrates in US. Gaming PC saves owners life after bullet's fired by a neighbor's dog.

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Lemonade stand robbed at gunpoint, children shook. Enemy lesbian nuns quit a convent and get married in Brazil.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 19:56:01 +0000

Child's lemonade stand armed at gunpoint in South Boston. Enemy lesbian nuns quit the convent and marry each other. Study of 10 million couples show no link between zodiac signs and marriage.

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Floridaman crashed his SUV, carjacked a woman, and stole fries from a child at Chick Fil-A. Floridaman arrested for burglary on his way to court to face previous charge of burglary.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 12 Jun 2026 21:32:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman performed an intimate act with himself outside his car at a McDonald's in Disneyland. Floridaman arrested for burglary on his way to court to face previous charge of burglary. Florida woman arrested after selling homemade wine out of a cooler at a childrens' soccer tournament. Floridaman crashed his SUV, carjacked a woman, and stole fries from a child at Chick Fil-A.

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Man had rare triple penis, scientists discover. Jesus has an energy drink, too.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 11 Jun 2026 22:17:00 +0000

Welcome to the world of Christian energy drinks (What would Jesus drink?). Supermarket in NZ recalls a product called Death by Chicken over salmonella concerns. Man who donated his body to science after death had a rare triple penis.

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Satanic rituals, forced marriage and an Olive Garden. Vagina Museum complains visitors keep stealing their MILF exhibit.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 10 Jun 2026 21:46:38 +0000

Man arrested at an Olive Garden for forcing a woman to marry him and injuring her in a Satanic ritual. The Vagina Museum complains that visitors keep stealing the MILF magnet. Girlfriend caught cheating with her cousin on the cat litter box's built in camera.

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University president tells students to end their lives in commencement speech. US federal bug agency is infested with bed bugs.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 9 Jun 2026 22:26:00 +0000

University president tells graduating student body to kill themselves during commencement speech. US Federal bug agency is infested with bedbugs. Elderly man arrested after stealing an elevator door and cutting it up with a chainsaw in his apartment.

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Celebrity dog was stolen and sold to a restaurant to be eaten. Taco truck called TNT Tacos exploded.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 8 Jun 2026 23:08:42 +0000

Mailman arrested for driving drunk while on the job. Celebrity dog with over 1 million followers was stolen and sold to a restaurant to be eaten. Taco truck called TNT Tacos exploded in Tennessee.

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Floridaman shoots himself in the groin at Walmart. Floridaman gets face bit by an alligator then sues.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 5 Jun 2026 22:43:10 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman shoots himself in the groin while shopping in Walmart. Floridaman filed a lawsuit after an alligator bites his face off. Rap lyrics in a yearbook leads to suspension of a Florida school principal. Florida woman arrested after stealing $15 vibrator from Walmart.

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"Lizard People" tunnels will be available for the public to explore under Denver airport. Scientists made bread out of yeast found inside a frozen mummy's guts.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 4 Jun 2026 21:11:17 +0000

Scientists found yeast in a 5,000 year old frozen mummy's guts and used it to make sourdough bread, aka "Evil Dead". Denver airport is opening up Lizard people conspiracy tunnels for the public to enjoy. Catholic church removed a prominent exorcist for UFO, Aliens and Demons comments.

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Bird owners should let their birds masturbate, say experts. Fire fighter set fires in order to keep busy on weekends.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 3 Jun 2026 22:08:59 +0000

Masturbation among birds is natural and should not be punished say experts. Volunteer fire fighter arrested for setting fires and then responding to them with his own department. Baker in Minnesota announces Nuclear Family promotion during Pride month (June).

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Three horses were stabbed by teen girl competitor prior to a racing event. Man demolished his family home with an excavator after wife threatens dirovce.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 2 Jun 2026 21:31:56 +0000

Three horses were stabbed by a crazy teen competitor prior to a racing event in Vegas. Man demolished his own family home with an excavator after wife threatens divorce. Benadryl challenge viral trend sends 5 children to the hospital over the weekend in San Diego.

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Man banned from all 6 Flags parks for eating 10 piece nugget on a ride. Did the NYPD just find the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underground hideout?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 1 Jun 2026 22:09:25 +0000

Man banned from 6 Flags amusement parks after he's caught eating a 10 piece Chicken McNugget on a rollercoaster. World record fastest pizza maker has been crowned in Las Vegas. Investigation underway after many mysterious men emerge from manholes in Brooklyn, NY.

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Floridaman tells police he has the right to walk around naked in public. Floridaman finds $1 million on the beach, turns it in to police.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 29 May 2026 23:07:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Elderly Floridaman in a g-string tells police he has the right to walk around naked in public. Florida judge caught having intercourse with a police officer in the chambers. Florida woman arrested, police find some party favors hidden in one of her body cavities. Floridaman goes viral after finding millions of dollars on the beach and turning it in to police.

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Drunk driver claims he has "Blood of Christ" in him. Texas man drives a Cybertuck into a lake to test "Wade Mode".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 28 May 2026 22:44:00 +0000

Drunk driver claimed he had the "blood of Christ" in him. Hooters restaurants are rebranding as a neighborhood place for families. Man intentionally drove a Cybertruck into a Texas lake to test "Wade Mode".

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AI company is paying people $2k month to touch themselves. Scientists still don't know how to revive cryopreserved dead humans.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 27 May 2026 21:33:02 +0000

AI company is paying people $2k month to pleasure themselves for research. Truck carrying over 10,000 lbs of Kit Kat bars overturns on the freeway in Mississippi. Over 600 cryopreserved humans are awaiting thawing and revival but scientists don't know how to do that yet.

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Flying umbrella fatally stabs a lady at a windy restaurant. Hell (the city) is for sale and it's surprisingly affordable.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 26 May 2026 21:52:00 +0000

Flying umbrella fatally struck a woman in the neck during a storm at a lake restaurant. Hell is for sale in Michigan (the town that is) and it's surprisingly affordable. West Hollywood barber shop offers men haircuts and therapy.

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Dog shoots woman with a shotgun outside a gas station. Woman prisoner busted smuggling bottle of wine inside her ladyparts.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 25 May 2026 21:27:33 +0000

Dog shot a woman with a shotgun outside of a gas station in Nebraska. Athletes had beef at the Enhanced Games in Las Vegas when a non steroid user won a sprinting event. Lady prisoner busted smuggling a bottle of wine insider of her.

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Florida woman tried baptize strangers in the Bass Pro Shop aquarium tank. Drunk Floridaman arrested, tried to call his family using his shoe.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 22 May 2026 23:06:38 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Drunk Florida woman arrested with 21 open Fireball Whiskey bottles after crashing her car on a gold course. Floridaman arrested for public intoxication prior to him attempting to call his family using his own shoe. Florida woman detained after attempting to baptize strangers in the Bass Pro Shop aquarium tank. Florida teacher fired after hanging a black doll with a noose in front of the students.

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Teacher took vodka shots with her students on her own doorstep. World record for largest bowl of guacamole in Mexico.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 21 May 2026 20:59:42 +0000

Two Americans arrested after jumping into the zoo enclosure of Punch the baby monkey in Japan. Vancouver teacher suspended after taking vodka shots with her students on her own doorstep. The world's largest bowl of guacamole has been whipped up at the Avocado Festival in Mexico.

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Woman arrested for selling drugs and landmines. Students accidentally served dirt at a high school dinner event.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 20 May 2026 22:56:00 +0000

Woman in Arizona busted for selling drugs and landmines. Neighbors sue a local gym over the loud sounds of moaning and grunting. Students at a Maine high school were accidentally served dirt at a dinner event.

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Airline bans robots and humanoids from all future flights. Police in France warn citizens to beware of the drunk deer.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 19 May 2026 22:32:00 +0000

Police in France warn citizens to beware of the drunk deer. New York high school has record 21 valedictorians at graduation. Southwest Airlines bans robots and humanoids from future flights.

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Teen steals 3 buses in 6 months just for joyrides. Lady shot her husband because he was annoying.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 18 May 2026 22:11:00 +0000

14 year old boy steals a city bus for the third time in six months. Alabama woman shot her husband because he was annoying. Suckerfish hitchhike inside Manta Ray's buttholes according to new researcher.

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Floridaman woke up to a burglar touching his crotch and urinating on him. Floridaman teacher arrested for taping child's mouth shut.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 15 May 2026 21:35:14 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Major weiner heist! Two Floridamen break into a school and steal over 100 hot dogs. Floridaman teacher taped a child's mouth shout during an argument at a Christian school. A Floridaman woke in his bed to a burglar touching his crotch and urinating on him. Floridaman arrested for secretly recording men in a restroom at a Pride event.

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Please don't fire your canons, town urges citizens. New billboard warns criminals that firing squads are legal.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 14 May 2026 21:23:57 +0000

New York town reminds citizens to please don't fire your canons. New billboard in Mississippi warns criminals that firing squads are legal in their state. US Post Office will allow mailing of handguns for first time in 100 years.

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Bigfoot believers and skeptics clash over wave of recent sightings. All you can eat restaurant introduces a "vomit fee ".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 13 May 2026 22:22:24 +0000

Robot gets ordained as Buddhist monk in South Korea. Bigfoot believers and skeptics clash over recent wave of sightings in Ohio. All you can eat restaurant introduces a vomit fee to keep customers in check.

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New trend of enlarging your testicles is addictive and fun? Man pulled a car with his penis while also on fire.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 12 May 2026 22:34:33 +0000

Ballmaxxing: increasing the size of your testicles and it's addicting and fun. Strongman pulled a car with his penis while his body was on fire to raise money for cancer. Philadelphia art museum brings the Rocky statue inside their doors after decades of tension, which wasn't so much tension.

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Florida woman found up a tree dressed as a squirrel attacked police with acorns. Woman ran over ducklings with a Honda for pooping in her yard.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 8 May 2026 21:28:48 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - US Secret Service officer arrested for touching himself in front of Miami hotel guests. Florida woman bashed a man on the head with a picture frame at Kiki. Florida woman ran over a family of ducklings for pooping in her yard. Florida woman found in a a tree dressed as a squirrel throwing acorns at the police.

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Thousands of citizens disappear each year on purpose in Japan. Mexico City is sinking so fast it can be seen from space.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 7 May 2026 22:08:00 +0000

Former Chick-Fil-A employee arrested for $80 mac n cheesy scheme. Mexico City is sinking so fast it can be seen from outer space. 80,000 people disappear annually in Japan to start a new life.

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The first Sperm Racing World Cup is coming to San Francisco. Why are birds more afraid of women than men?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 6 May 2026 21:47:42 +0000

Study shows birds are frightened by women over men but why? The police have dead body pics on their personal smartphones more than you know. 2026 Sperm Racing World Cup is coming - 128 men's samples from different countries around the world.

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Man makes love to a trash bin before eating out of it. Ramen loving grandma is buried with her favorite cup of noodles.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 5 May 2026 22:08:01 +0000

Report shows children are drawing moustaches on their faces to bypass age verification websites. Creepy Scottsman caught with his pants down making love to a trash bin. Ramen loving grandma was buried with her favorite cup of noodles.

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Man brings his dead sister's skeleton to a bank to withdraw money. New Christian cell network will block naughty stuff and gender content.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 4 May 2026 21:50:39 +0000

New US cell phone network for Christians will block porn and gender related content. Cult of Scientology frustrated that teenagers are doing "speed runs" through their buildings in Hollywood for TikTok. Indian man brings his dead sisters skeleton to the bank to withdraw money.

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Floridaman Taco Bell employee shoots customers that put soda in water cup. Looks like Sloth World in Florida ain't happenin' cuz all the sloths died.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 2 May 2026 00:07:24 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Customer in a hockey mask attacks a Florida stripper and gives her a haircut at the Gentleman's club. Floridaman drove a lawnmower through a Target store as a TikTok prank. Florida officials investigate a planned Sloth World after 31 sloths found dead in a warehouse. Floridaman Taco Bell employee shoots at customers that put soda in a water cup.

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140 chickens died after a wedding DJ decided to crank up the base. Woman brought her dead husband back as a hologram to answer a Q&A at his own funeral.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 22:22:01 +0000

140 chickens died after a wedding DJ decided to crank up the base outside a poultry farm in India's Utar Pradesh. Firefighter is charged after spraying a cat out of the tree with the hose and killing it. Woman brought her dead husband back as a hologram to answer a Q&A at his own funeral.

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Woman unleashed swarm of bees on the police during an eviction. Woman throws dynamite at sleeping boyfriend and blows off his hand.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 23:26:09 +0000

Tourist died on vacation after a poisonous cobra crawled down his pants and bit him during a snake charming show in Egypt. Woman has been convicted after throwing dynamite at her sleeping boyfriend and blowing off his hand. Woman found guilty of unleashing swarms of honey bees on deputies during a routine eviction.

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22 Buddhist monks busted smuggling drugs at the airport. Price of condoms going up as the war strangles condom supply chain.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Apr 2026 20:37:03 +0000

Price of condoms is going up as the Iran war strangles the condom supply chain. French teenager faces jailtime for licking a vending machine in Singapore and posting video. Group of 22 Buddhist monks busted at the airport for a smuggling over 200 pounds of drugs.

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Floridaman tried to trade an alligator for tacos at the drive-thru. Florida teacher twerked in front of the class again.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 Apr 2026 22:42:05 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida substitute teacher fired after twerking in class and calling herself the, "Million Dollar Prostitute". Florida woman escapes death after electric wheelchair she bought at a thrift shop explodes into flames. Floridaman arrested after trying to trade an alligator for tacos at Taco Bell. Florida woman drove her lifted pickup truck over a Lamborghini and didn't notice.

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Japanese man jailed for spoiling Godzilla movie. Fighter jets in Korea collide because pilots took selfies.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 22:03:01 +0000

Japanese man jailed for spoiling a Godzilla movie. Fighter jets collide in South Korea because pilots were taking selfies. Polymarket bettor may hav used a hair dryer to manipulate the weather in Paris and win thousands.

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Drinking cow pee is required at this Indian temple. Cocaine in the rivers is getting salmon very high.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Apr 2026 22:10:00 +0000

Oldest temple in India makes it mandatory for all visitors to drink cow pee in order to prove their devotion. Three women on trial for using sex toys on a passed out man. Cocaine in the rivers is getting the salmon very high, say scientists.

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Arson suspect arrived at police interview with burnt eyebrows. Animal Rights Activist rescues and releases restaurant lobster back into the sea.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Apr 2026 00:24:15 +0000

Arson suspect arrived at police interview with burnt eyebrows. Germantown police issue citywide warning over annual Nerf Gun Wars. Animal Rights Activist rescues and releases a restaurants educational lobster back into the harbor.

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Titanic museum floods on the anniversary of ships sinking. Japan government pays citizens to use Tinder dating app.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 22:40:01 +0000

Police arrest California man that replaced over $30k worth of Legos with pasta. In Japan, the Government will pay you to use Tinder. Titanic museum exhibit floods on the anniversary of the ships sinking.

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Florida woman arrested for twerking for tips at 7-11. Floridaman "gets horny", drove around exposing himself in boss's van.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 Apr 2026 22:42:14 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman arrested after twerking for tips at a 7-1 1 store. Florida woman tells police driving at 123mph is legal because she drives a Supra. Floridaman running for governor is arrested at beating up old people. Floridaman drove around touching himself because he "gets horny sometimes".

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Genital disappearance scam leads to 10 men arrested. Cocaine hippos in Columbia will be put down.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 22:20:01 +0000

Cocaine hippos on Pablo Escobar's estate in Columbia will be culled. Swiss cheesemakers will be allowed to put artificial holes in their cheese. 10 people in Zanzibar arrested for genital disappearance scam.

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Pretending to be gay is a popular way to stay in the UK (this rhymes). Amazon employee annoyingly dies while working.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 15 Apr 2026 22:59:25 +0000

UK lawyers helping migrants pretend they're gay in order to obtain asylum. Amazon employee perished on the warehouse floor while employees continued working around his corpse. Man builds a custom submarine for his parrot in the Bahamas.

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Man in cow costume stabs family members. GLP-1 users report new side effect: DIVORCE!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 21:54:00 +0000

Man dressed in a cow costume stabbed a family member in New York. GLP-1 users report a whole new side effect - divorce. US troops drank 1 million gallons of coffee and 2 million energy drinks so far during war with Iran.

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Come get this sausage! (from a vending machine?). US wants to hire gamers as air traffic controllers.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 21:43:59 +0000

Hundreds of chimpanzees are embroiled in a civil war. US government wants to hire gamers to fill vacant air traffic controller positions. 24 hour meat vending machine is a hit in Montana.

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Florida woman wrestles a manatee in a bikini at a park. Floridaman goes to job interview, leaves with assault charges.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 22:12:27 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman banned from Disney World after bringing in a fat waller full of cocaine. Floridaman goes to job interview at Burger King, leaves with an assault charge. Florida woman arrested for wrestling a manatee in a bikini. Floridaman named Willie King arrested for touching himself in a lewd way on somebody's porch.

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Instead of baptizing, a pastor drowns a grown man in a kiddie pool. Lady bashed relative in head with hammer for stealing her brother's ashes.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 Apr 2026 23:36:11 +0000

Lady smashed relative in the head with a pink hammer for stealing her brother's ashes. Mount Everest accused of poisoning foreign climbers to force fake helicopter rescues in an insurance scam that netted tens of millions. Pastor arrested after man drowns in a baptism ceremony.

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Giant Phallus Festival in Japan hits hard. Banana bandits stole 96 bananas from a gas station.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 Apr 2026 21:22:39 +0000

Banana bandits stole 96 bananas from a WaWa gas station. South African politician went snorkeling in a large pothole to bring attention to city issues. Crowds of excited people marched with giant penises during the Japan Penis Festival.

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Is the Boston accent disappearing? "Lonely Death Epidemic" is affecting old Japanese men.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 Apr 2026 21:49:12 +0000

"God you're hot", says a Tennessee school board member to a high school student live on a streaming public meeting. Study shows that 37% of Japanese men in their 50's have no friends. Is the Boston accent disappearing? Maybe. Find out.

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Family finds a skull while hunting for Easter eggs. Lady stabs another lady that was living in a chicken coop with her father.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 6 Apr 2026 23:19:47 +0000

Family finds a human skull while hunting for Easter eggs. Lady stabs another lady that was living in a chicken coop with her father. Religious fanatic nailed to the cross for the 37th and last time in the annual crucifixion ritual in Philipines.

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Florida woman burns down husband's home to rekindle relationship. Floridaman drunk drove onto airport runway, tries to steal two planes.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 3 Apr 2026 22:29:37 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman lights husband's house on fire to rekindle their relationship. Florida detective reprimanded after farting into a colleague's face at the precinct. Florida circuit judge in trouble after asking a black defendant if he ever chopped cotton. Floridaman drunk drives through airport gate, onto the runway, then attempts to take two planes.

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Scientists create 5 psychedelic drugs from single tobacco plant. Bob Marley's deadlock up for auction.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 2 Apr 2026 23:24:26 +0000

Oldest animal in the world is still alive following Crypto death hoax. Bob Marley's dreadlock to be sold at auction. Scientists created 5 psychedelic drugs from single tobacco plant.

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Powerball lottery winner arrested for robbing a home. Chocolate bars recalled for being spike with viagra.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 1 Apr 2026 21:16:21 +0000

$167million lottery winner arrested for robbing a home in Kentucky. California chocolate being recalled for being spiked with Viagra. County locks their mayors inside escape rooms to raise money for hunger.

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Mother slept with twin brothers - who's child is this? World's largest vampire theme park planned in Romania.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 21:08:20 +0000

Mother slept with twin brothers and can't tell who her child's father is. Mayonnaise has now been classified as a musical instrument by researchers. World's largest vampire theme park planned for Romania.

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Thieves steal 12 tons of KitKat bars right before Easter. Customized bong built into a dashboard of man's truck leads to arrest.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 22:23:00 +0000

12 tons of KitKat candy bars were stolen in a big chocolate heist. Nearly 200 sailors were caught doing hard drugs on British nuclear submarines. Man with customized bong built into his truck's dashboard arrested for 98th time.

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Florida woman urinated on furniture and appliances in multiple Airbnb's. Florida man has Rolex stolen by hooker with "Dream Girl" neck tattoo.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 21:04:09 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman has his Rolex watch stolen by a Florida woman with "Dream Gril" neck tattoo. Florida woman named "Candy Land" was sentenced for selling drug infused candy to kids. Florida woman urinated on and destroyed thousands of dollars worth of furniture and appliances in multiple Airbnb's. Florida woman punched a Costco customer and then met an axe.

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Professor proposes to student in the middle of class and receives a beat down by students. Philly breaks world record for longest cheesesteak(s).

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 26 Mar 2026 23:52:34 +0000

Professor in India proposed to student in middle of class and then received a beat down by students on campus. Lion King composer sues comedian/podcaster for $26million for mis-translating the lyrics. Philadelphia airport the record for the world's longest cheeeteak.

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Stalker broke into a home and sucked on a woman's toes. Boner Bear Honey ED syrup banned from gas stations.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 25 Mar 2026 23:05:16 +0000

Man arrested and sentenced 6 years for breaking into a home and sucking on a woman's toes. Scientists discover the age children become cunning little liars. Boner Bear Honey, the gas station erectile dysfunction syrup has been recalled for dangerous ingredients.

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Quadruple amputee professional cornhole player shot a man while driving. Russian women who don't want kids will be sent to psychologist.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 20:44:16 +0000

Russian woman who don't want children will be sent to the Government Psychologist. A quadruple amputee and professional cornhole player shot a man while driving. Doctors say we may be able to grow new teeth by 2030.

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Father and son banned from donating sperm after fathering 600 kids. Cocaine sharks thrive in the Bahamas.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 23 Mar 2026 22:06:05 +0000

Sharks in Bahamas filled with cocaine, painkillers and caffeine. Barbie Dolls contaminated with fentanyl in Missouri. Father and son are banned from donating sperm after fathering over 600 children in Canada.

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Floridaman can still marry his cousin after marriage ban fails to pass. Florida woman refuses to leave her hospital bed 5 months after discharge.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Mar 2026 21:41:46 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman seals $600k worth of potatoes. Florida woman refuses to leave her hospital bed for 5 months despite being discharged. Florida woman sues after coworker says she smells like the Middle East. Floridaman can still marry his cousin after marriage ban fails to pass.

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Thief used Google Translate to rob a Peruvian restaurant. Hittler runs against Zielinski for mayor in France.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 19 Mar 2026 20:50:16 +0000

Thief used Google Translate to rob a restaurant. In a town in France, Hittler is running against Zielinksi for mayor. Would you try the newest kind of yoga, snake yoga?

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Study shows 19 million Americans think of shooting someone. Inject the fat of a dead person into your face or your chest, it's cool.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 22:50:38 +0000

New technology allows plastic surgeons to inject you with the fat of dead people. The bear on the Bernese coat of arms gets to keep it's little red penis. New research shows 19million Americans have seriously thought about shooting somebody.

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Deaf woman removed from plan for "not listening". Tourist sues NYC taqueria for salsa being too spicy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 21:52:27 +0000

Pot smoking linked to bigger brains and better cognitive functions later in life. German tourist sues a NYC taco restaurant for salsa that is too spicy. Deaf woman removed from Frontier Airlines flight for not listening.

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Man falls into a hole with a bear inside. Kickboxer pulls a car using his testicles.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 21:41:23 +0000

Man in Japan fell into a hole with a bear inside. Marathon runners are churning butter as they run. Kickboxer pulls a car using just his testicles.

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Floridaman prisoner escapes to have sex in a Porta Potty. Did a Floridaman really get kidnapped by dolphins?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 13 Mar 2026 21:07:45 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman prisoner snuck away from jail work duties to have sex in a porta potty. Drunk butt-tattoo'd Florida lady gives police Q-tips when asked for driver's license. Floridaman cop stalked and pulled over an actress just to flirt with her. Florida sheriff claims no, a Floridaman was not kidnapped by dolphins and forced to build an underwater city for them.

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Man caught smuggling 2,000 queen ants in his pants. Stoners buy cookies, the Girl Scouts learn.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 23:42:55 +0000

Chinese man caught smuggling 2,000 queen ants via Kenya. Girlscouts realize teaming up with a weed dispensary equals cookie sales. Canadian officials rescue 23 ice fisherman on a drifting ice sheet that broke away from shore.

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Braindead woman wakes up when her ambulance hits a pothole. "Literally Anybody Else" is running for mayor in Texas.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 11 Mar 2026 22:36:40 +0000

Irish woman awarded damages after her boss repeatedly yelled, "Potato" at her. "Literally Anyone Else" runs for mayor of a Texas town. Braindead woman comes back to life when her ambulance hits a pothole in India.

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Testical covers are banned from saunas in Japan. Flamingos kidnapped at the Flamingo Hotel in Vegas.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 22:50:30 +0000

In-sauna testical covers are being banned in Japan. Tourist arrested after kidnapping and torturing a flamingo at The Flamingo in Las Vegas. Police warn there are corcodiles everywhere after major flooding in Australia.

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Floridaman throws cremated ashes onto the NASCAR racetrack. Floridaman does other Floridaman things.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 9 Mar 2026 18:22:15 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman uses taco seasoning packets to steal Pokemon cards worth thousands. Florida woman with no right hand is ticketed for driving with her phone in her right hand. Floridaman used drug money to buy an ice cream truck for the kids. Floridaman and NASCAR fan threw cremated ashes onto the racetrack during a race.

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Smoking crack helped him quit heroin, says Billy Idol. Old male whales are better at mating because they're better at singing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 5 Mar 2026 22:31:00 +0000

Study shows: older male whales are better at procreating because they are better at singing. Billy Idol says smoking crack helped him quit heroin. Gen Z holds a live wrestling speed-dating event.

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Woman declared dead 4 times by government since 2017. Polymarket no longer allows betting on nuclear armageddon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 4 Mar 2026 23:20:17 +0000

Dallas woman declared dead 4 times since 2017. Convicted serial stowaway gets caught again sneaking on a flight to Europe. Polymarket betting co. removes bet on nuclear armageddon in 2026.

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Lady arrested for singing a remix of the national anthem at karaoke. Scientists created popcorn flavored tomatoes.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 3 Mar 2026 23:46:01 +0000

Woman arrested for disrespecting the national anthem at karaoke night. Scientists created tomatoes that smell just like popcorn. Government hotline gives callers English with a Spanish accent instead of Spanish language option.

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Man claims world's smallest penis and is accepting challengers (with pics). Illinois will vote on Italian Beef as official state sandwich.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 2 Mar 2026 23:20:00 +0000

Illinois state sandwich will switch to the Italian Beef sandwich after a vote in the house. Georgia man found competent to stand trial despite removing both his eyeballs in jail. Man claiming to have world's smallest penis is accepting all challenges disputing his claim (with photos).

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Floridaman stabbed for denying sex to trans woman because she isn't Jewish. Floridaman killed trying to invade cuba with his 9 drinking buddies..

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 Feb 2026 23:07:42 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman is stabbed after denying sex to an adult content creator because she isn't Jewish. Floridaman exposes himself and conducts lewd behavior toward a woman but claims it wasn't sexually motivated. Floridaman killed trying to invade Cuba in a boat with 9 of his friends. Floridaman destroys a Chinese Restaurant witha. shovel, claims he is the messiah sent to stop a new Covid outbreak.

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Mr. Clean retires after 68 years. Food robot rebellion begins! Dunkin' tests 48oz bucket of coffee.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 Feb 2026 00:20:40 +0000

Food delivery robot goes rogue and destroys property in California. Mr. Clean retires after 68 years as company cleaning mascot. Dunkin Donuts tests massive 48 oz bucket of coffee.

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Man arrested after serving alcohol to a hawk. New York Snowflakes hospitalized after being hit with snowballs.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 25 Feb 2026 22:01:43 +0000

Los Angeles man arrested for serving alcohol to a hawk. How much cocaine is in the Nantucket sewage? New York City Police investigating after officers hit with snowballs during a snowball fight in the park.

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Man trained his dog to illegally dump his garbage on the street. Man sneaks into woman's apartment to AXE her out.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 23:23:01 +0000

Italian man is arrested for training his dog to illegally dump his rubbish on the street. Los Angeles Dept. of Transportation removed their PSA that told passengers not to poop on city buses. Man arrested after sneaking into woman's apartment with an axe, to axe her out on a date.

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Man has sex with a dead deer on the highway, arrested. Hospital calls exorcist after staff report seeing ghosts.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 23 Feb 2026 23:56:16 +0000

Hospital calls an exorcist after the staff report seeing ghosts. Kentucky man arrested for having sex with a dead deer on the side of the highway. Waymo pays Doordashers to close robotaxi doors after riders leave them open. //

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Pickleball brawl involving 20 players leads to Florida couple's arrest. Floridaman urinates on boss's desk and in the chili?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Feb 2026 22:45:35 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Pickleball brawl involving 20 people leads to Florida couple's arrest for assault. Floridaman pays $50k to clone his dead Boston Terrier. Florida measles cases are increasing. Floridaman arrested after urinating on his boss's desk and in the chili pot at work.

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Family took dead relative to the bank as proof they're dead. Pro hockey team sent letter to their smelly fans asking them to shower before games.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Feb 2026 00:19:23 +0000

Hockey team in Canada sent letter to smelly fans asking them to shower before games. South African family took their dead relative to the bank to prove that they were indeed actually dead. Pancake races this week looked fun!

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Judge rules "boneless wings" can still be called "wings". Fart tracking underwear developed to track gut health.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 22:29:07 +0000

Judge rules Buffalo Wild Wings can keep calling boneless Buffalo wings "wings". Why are criminals stealing used cooking oil from restaurants. Scientists invented fart- tracking underwear. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Facebook will keep posting for you even after you're dead. Food influencer dies after eating the toxic Devil Crab.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 17 Feb 2026 22:57:27 +0000

The Lover's Arch in Italy collapsed ON Valentine's Day. Meta/Facebook patents an IA that takes over a dead person's Facebook account and keeps posting and chatting. Food vlogger dies after eating a toxic Devil Crab on video./ /

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Woman faked a snake transformation to avoid arranged marriage. Olympic athletes used the 10,000 free condoms in only 3 days.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 17 Feb 2026 00:30:04 +0000

Olympics gave the athletes 10,000 condoms and they were gone in three days. Indian woman fakes turning into a snake to avoid an arranged marriage. Scientists are testing weight loss drug for cats. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Florida woman's happy endings lead to her unhappy arrest. Floridamen turn frozen iguanas into pizza and tacos.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 22:57:38 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida couple arrested for taking a 14 year old to the strip club. Florida woman's happy endings lead to her unhappy arrest. Floridamen turn frozen iguanas into tacos and pizza. Florida woman arrested for practicing dentistry without a license AGAIN. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Chicken place smells too much like chicken, says landlord. Pokemon Go removes Epstein Island Pokestop from the game.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 12 Feb 2026 22:30:01 +0000

Landlord tries to evict chicken business because it smells too much like chicken. Mother accused of injecting feces into her child's IV at the hospital. Pokemon Go game removed Epstein Island as a Pokestop. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Olympian wins a medal, then tells the world he cheated on his girlfriend. Murder twins in France complicate the trial because of similar DNA.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 11 Feb 2026 23:04:00 +0000

Olympic medal winner confessed to cheating on his girlfriend during post-game live TV interview. Murder trial in France is complicated by twin brothers with same DNA. Portugal allowed children to cast their votes in the Presidential election. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Gen Z texts and checks social media during sex, study shows. Coffee shop secretly operated as a strip club.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 23:12:56 +0000

Fighter jets intercept a passenger plane after child changed wifi name to "terrorist". More than a third of college students check social media and text during sex, poll shows. Orange County CA coffee shop secretly operated as a strip club.

Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Governor suggests importing women to help make more babies. Man arrested again for seeking non-consensual diaper changes.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 9 Feb 2026 22:29:17 +0000

South Korean governor suggests importing foreign women for marriage and to make babies. Japanese city cancels Cherry Blossom Festival because tourists are pooping in the locals' yards. Man arrested again for seeking non-consensual diaper changes. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Florida woman nurse twerks on disabled patients at a rehab. Floridaman throws away $4k worth of meat after finding girlfriend cooking with another man.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 6 Feb 2026 22:00:45 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman nurse arrested for twerking on disabled patients at a rehab. Floridaman stalks ex, mails her a 9mm bullet. Florida state driver's license exams will only be in English starting today. Floridaman throws away $4k worth of meat after discovering girlfriend cooking with another man.

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Man broke into Little Caesar's Pizza, made and sold pizzas. Man, high on meth, stole two planes without a pilot's license.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 6 Feb 2026 00:28:53 +0000

California man, high on meth, stole two planes without a pilot's license. Japan bar has an upper age limit for patrons, none over 40. Man breaks into a Little Caesar's Pizza and made and sold pizzas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Man blowtorches his roof to melt ice, home catches fire. Lady causes car crashes after removing traffic mirror for better Feng-Shui.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 4 Feb 2026 23:44:23 +0000

Massachusetts man used a blowtorch to melt ice on his roof, home catches fire. Crackerbarrel restaurants makes traveling employees only eat at Crackerbarrel. Chinese woman causes car accidents after removing a traffic mirror for better Feng-Shui for her own home. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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WWI bomb inside man's rectum leads to hospital evacuation. Bar offers free drinks to customers who want to quit their job.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 3 Feb 2026 22:20:00 +0000

Japan has a bar for people thinking of quitting their job and they drink for free. Alabama passing a bill requiring reporting parents of kids that smell like marijuana. French hospital evacuated after patient turns up with WWI artillery shell inside his rectum. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Dumb politicians claim "fake" snow conspiracy. New York city will hire a night mayor to improve night time fun.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 2 Feb 2026 22:36:00 +0000

City in New York has hired a Night Mayor to handle night time fun, especially for youth. Farmer gives away over 1 million potatoes after growing way too many. City Counselor members in Tennessee claim that the snow might be "fake". // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Floridaman fornicated with a vacuum cleaner in the street. Florida teen attacks her mom with a porkchop.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 30 Jan 2026 21:06:05 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida teen attacked her mother with a juicy porkchop. Drunk Floridaman drove his car while it was on fire (with wife inside). Florida woman arrested for drinking cinnamon whiskey on the sidewalk without pants. Floridaman caught fornicating in public with a vacuum cleaner. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Man amputates his own foot to get into medical school. "Spy-Nuns" are working for Russian military out of European churches.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 21:17:01 +0000

Indian man amputated own foot to get into medical school. Rogue horny elephant has killed 22 people in ten day rampage. Nuns in Sweden for found to be Russian spies. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Mushrooms that make you hallucinate little people are served at restaurants? Fans of jazz music are cheaters, new study claims.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 20:59:00 +0000

For the first time in history a smart cow was observed using tools. A new study claims Heavy Metal fans are faithful to their partners while Jazz fans are cheaters. A mushroom in China makes you hallucinate little people but they still serve it at restaurants. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Flesh eating flies are eating their way toward the US. PETA hates that a groundhog is lifted in the air once a year.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 26 Jan 2026 21:05:01 +0000

Flesh eating flies are eating their way through Mexico en route to the US. PETA offers to replace Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog, with a hologram. Rock musician refuses to release the greatest rock album of all time unless fans pay $200 per song. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Florida woman orders a Lyft ride and steals the driver's car. Floridaman attacked man with a ketchup packet.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 23 Jan 2026 21:01:58 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman orders a Lyft ride and steals the driver's car. Florida couple gives birth to the wrong (color) baby, sues fertility clinic. Floridaman pastor asks congregation to donate $10k in 90 seconds, as God requested. Floridaman arrested to assault with a ketchup packet. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Ankle monitor found on a dog, criminal on the run. Eat famous serial killers' last meals served at this restaurant.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 22 Jan 2026 00:19:53 +0000

Defendant on the run after attaching his ankle monitor onto a dog. Staten Island NY public bathroom wins major architectural award. True crime restaurant serves up famous serial killers' last meals opens second location. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Ski jumpers accused of injecting acid into their genitals. Korea legalizes tattooing after 33 year ban.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 21 Jan 2026 01:36:53 +0000

Tattooing is legal in Korea after 33 years. Weight loss drugs will save airlines tons of cash because of fuel costs. Olympic ski-jumpers caught injecting acid into their genitals in what's being called "Penis Gate". // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Hotel room on the Moon will cost you $10 million. Study shows smelling farts is good for brain health.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 19 Jan 2026 22:44:32 +0000

Pay $10 million and reserve a hotel room on the Moon? Study shows that sniffing your farts can protect your brain from Alzheimers. Minnesota woman arrested with bag labeled, "Not a bag of drugs". // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Florida woman defecates at the police in order to escape arrest.Florida woman on crack goes on the attack with a skillet and collard greens.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 17 Jan 2026 00:57:24 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman on crack goes on the attack with a skillet and collard greens. Florida woman defecates at the police in order to escape arrest. Florida woman named Juicy Booty attacked teenagers with a baseball bat. Florida woman bites her attacker's penis to escape to safety. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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American dad wakes up speaking Spanish fluently after each surgery. Insecticide company holds memorial services for bugs they kill.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 15 Jan 2026 23:14:00 +0000

American dad wakes up from each surgery speaking fluent Spanish. Japanese insecticide company holds a memorial service for the bugs they've killed. Greyhound racing dog tests positive for meth. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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"But she just died!" Man and dead wife tried to board a flight. Man hospitalized after sticking a live leech you know where.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 14 Jan 2026 23:42:24 +0000

Man tried to board a flight with his dead wife in a wheelchair. Chinese man hospitalized after putting a live leech inside his own body, and I won't say where. Study shows that Japanese people aren't having sex. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Couple used ChatGPT for wedding vows and it was annulled. 100 skulls and historical bones found at a man's home.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 13 Jan 2026 23:28:01 +0000

Dutch couple's marriage annulled because they used ChatGPT in the wedding vows. Tuna King purchases a record $3.2 million Bluefin tuna at Tokyo auction. 100 skulls found at a Pennsylvania man's home believed to be stolen from cemeteries. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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"Are you dead yet?" is most popular app in China. Several monkeys are on the loose in St. Louis.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 12 Jan 2026 23:26:07 +0000

Several monkeys on the loose in St. Louis, Missouri. Texas A&M university bans Plato for being woke. "Are You Dead Yet?" App is #1 in China. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Naked Floridaman robs a meat market. Salvation Army bellringer tried to impale store manager with donation tripod.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 9 Jan 2026 22:40:20 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Naked Floridaman robs a meat market. Floridaman takes a sledgehammer to gaming machines inside a store after losing thousands. Floridaman arrested for trespassing at a construction site wearing red lace bra, g-string and holding a gun. Floridaman Salvation Army bellringer arrested for trying to impale a Publix manager with the donation tripod. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Naked mermaid arrested in her neighbor's private pond. Beloved walrus penis stolen from a Jersey bar.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 9 Jan 2026 00:19:40 +0000

Married man in Italy sues restaurant after their TikTok promo video exposed his secret love affair. Woman arrested swimming nude in neighbor's private pond claiming she was, "trying to be a mermaid". Beloved walrus penis was stolen from behind the bar in a New Jersey cheesesteak place. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Stop selling butt toys to Bahrain, US government says. Hundreds gathered to watch a live kick in the groin.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 7 Jan 2026 23:23:27 +0000

Hundreds gather in Glasgow to watch someone get kicked in the groin. TikTok influencer rode his horse through a New York Target and it poo'd on the floor. Toronto sex toy shop is ordered by the Pentagon to cease selling sex toys to Bahrain. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Man offers to remove your squatters with a grenade and samurai sword. Hundreds tricked into attending fake NYE fireworks display.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 6 Jan 2026 21:42:10 +0000

Samurai sword weilding man offers to remove your squatters in San Francisco area. Man stole the sword from the Joan of Arc statue in Paris. Hundreds of people tricked into attending fake New Years fireworks display in Birmingham. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Best of Floridaman (and woman) - 2025

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 2 Jan 2026 23:41:04 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Best of Floridaman (and woman) for 2025 - Floridaman arrested with a thermos in his rectum. Floridaman shoots his friend over argument on how many eggs a chicken can lay. Floridaman runs over a woman for refusing a foot sniff. Floridaman robs a restaurant in scuba gear. Florida police arrest Chuck E. Cheese mascot in front of kids. Floridaman pees on $10k worth of Spam in a store. Floridaman eats his own pet peacocks after arguing with a neighbor. Floridaman touches realtor's feets in a creepy way. Floridaman high on meth steals a train on his birthday and still picks up passengers. Florida parents leave child on side of the highway with a bag of guns. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Best of 2025 - Most Funny and Weird Stories of the Year

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 31 Dec 2025 23:19:50 +0000

Weird AF News - Best of 2025: Radioactive Shrimp at Walmart. Denmark zoo asks for your pets to feed their animals. Woman dies on a bus with 26 iPhones attached to her. Meth smoking raccoon found in the driver's seat. Naked man with vaseline found in Lowes display shed. Man lights his home on fire to meet firefighters. Hotel no longer allowed to wake up guests with real baby pandas. Doctor amputated his legs for funsies. Defeat the drug cartels with song. And more... (and Happy New Year from Jonesy :P ) // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Lady married Chatbot which is a German video game character. Passenger finds a man hiding in the Waymo trunk.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 Dec 2025 23:04:09 +0000

Woman in Japan marries her Chatbot which is a German video game entity. Man blows up his own stomach after ingesting a shot of lliquid nitrogen prepared by a celeb chef. Passenger discovers a man inside the trunk of the Waymo ride. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Weird items removed from people's orifices in 2025. Hire a robot DJ or ring bearer for your wedding!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 29 Dec 2025 23:32:14 +0000

$400k worth of live lobsters were stolen on the way to Costco. Hire a Chinese humanoid robot to be a ring bearer at your wedding among other services available. 2025 roundup of strange items stuck inside people's orifices (and removed at the Emergency Room) this year. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Boy was sexting Whitney Houston and Marilyn Monroe chatbots, so mom sues. Hundreds of Victorian era shoes wash up on a beach in Wales.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 22:53:28 +0000

Mystery as hundreds of Victorian era shoes from the 1900's wash up on a beach in Wales. Neighbors are complaining about the intense sweet smell of donuts in their neighborhood. Mom sues an AI company after catching her son having raunchy sexting with Whitney Houston and Marilyn Monroe chatbots. //Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Lady was already dead when she was wheeled onto a flight. Scientist smuggles bacteria into US inside women's panties.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 00:53:01 +0000

Woman was already dead when her family brought her onto an EasyJet flight. Disappearance of geese at local park sparks concern they are being stolen and eaten for the holidays. Researcher charged with smuggling e-coli into the US inside women's underwear. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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School puts kids in a "Time Out" box as punishment. Hundreds attend a mock funeral for the penny in DC.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 22 Dec 2025 23:24:16 +0000

Hundreds attend a mock funeral for the penny in Washington DC. Parents are outraged after a Canadian elementary school uses a Time Out Box on the kids. Wanted man jumped into a nativity scene to hide from the police. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Floridaman shot his son in the face for not visiting his sick mother on weekends. Doctor walked into a Dollar Store freezer and died overnight.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 20 Dec 2025 00:23:19 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Mystery as a Florida doctor walks into a Dollar Store freezer and stays overnight, dies. Florida repoman truck driver tows a car with a 4 year old still inside. 84 year old Floridaman shot his son in the face for not visiting his mother on weekends. Florida woman shot both of her ex husbands on the same day. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Three Santas and 40 elves rob a grocery store. kicked by a camel during Christmas performance inside Church.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 Dec 2025 23:49:13 +0000

Strippers give the largest holiday toy donation in Portland history. Woman was kicked by a camel at Christmas celebration inside a Houston Church. Three Santas and 40 elves rob a grocery store in Montreal. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Kids must wear helmets to play in the show at schools in Canada. Police don't find the free sidewalk marijuana for Christmas very jolly.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 Dec 2025 02:07:12 +0000

Police find the free marijuana display anything but jolly. New Canada school rule requires kids to wear helmets while playing in the snow. Woman in San Francisco gave birth inside a Waymo taxi. //Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Sex toy shoplifter threatens man with leg of lamb then robs a public bus. Woman sues IRS to get her dog classified as a "dependent".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 16 Dec 2025 23:29:08 +0000

Woman sues IRS to get her dog classified as a tax "dependent". Government employees in China caught using printed face masks of colleagues to trick facial recognition system and skip work. Sex toy shoplifter threatened man with leg of lamb before robbing a public bus. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Viagra for women finally hits the shelves. Denny's launches maple syrup filled sneakers.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 15 Dec 2025 23:19:59 +0000

Viagra for women finally hits the shelves after 30 years. Denny's launches syrup filled sneakers to celebrate National Maple Syrup Day. Man sues Vegas casino after waking up in jail with large debt and not remembering how it happened. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Floridaman claims he was teleported into stolen BMW by aliens. Florida woman assaults another with chicken, but which kind?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 23:51:32 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman arrested after throwing chicken at another woman’s face during an argument. Floridaman "Santa Claus" arrested for possession and distribution of illicit child material. Florida school shuts down after threat detection system thinks a clarinet is an assault rifle. Floridaman claims he was teleported into stolen BMW by aliens. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Drunk riding a bike? Lose your driving license in Japan. Trade your goose for store credit at Gamestop?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 22:56:01 +0000

Hundreds of citizens in Japan have driver's licenses suspended for drunk bicycle riding. Why are 38% of undergraduates at Stanford Univ declaring to be disabled? Gamestop's trade anything day resulted in some strange items like a goose and a bobcat. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Taliban arrests men for dressing up like Peaky Blinders characters. Brazilian lioness receives a Uber Eats human meal at the zoo.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 23:44:38 +0000

Taliban detains four men that dressed up as Peaky Blinders characters. Young Brazilian man was killed by a lion after climbing into the zoo exhibit. Houston puts a curfew/ban on operating e-scooters in downtown. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Canadian man arrested for assault with a snowblower. Have you tried the pumpkin seed rectal challenge?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 9 Dec 2025 23:36:01 +0000

Canadian man arrested for assault with a snow blower. Have you taken the pumpkin seed rectal challenge? Town in Oregon requires new residents to pickup their free puffy coat at City Hall. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Sperm racing is growing on college campuses. Women in Latvia are hiring hourly husbands cuz of man shortage.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 8 Dec 2025 23:13:20 +0000

Japan unveils a human washing machine for half a million bucks. Sperm racing continues on college campuses like UT. Latvia has a severe man shortage and women are hiring hourly husbands. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Afternoon group sex in a Winn Dixie parking lot leads to arrest of Floridaman. Man broke into home, sprayed bbq sauce on walls and then lit a fire.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 5 Dec 2025 23:56:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman broke into a home, sprayed bbq sauce on the walls and furniture before it all caught fire. Floridaman tried to blame his drunk driving on a medical condition that is not real and that he can't pronounce. Florida mother tried to sacrifice her husband and child with a knife before strangling a nurse with the cable to her ankle monitor. Floridamen and woman arrested for having sex in a Winn Dixie parking lot during the day. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Flat Earthers! Prove it and win a sports company. Police monitor bowel movements after thief swallows $19k Faberge egg.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 4 Dec 2025 23:13:00 +0000

Columbia Sportswear CEO offers the company to anyone that can prove the Earth is totally flat (with photo evidence). Police are monitoring a thief's bowel movements after he swallowed a $19k Faberge egg. Berkeley kidnapping was actually a Fantasy Football prank, say police. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Raccoon bites man in the face while driving to the nature center. China will tax condoms to boost birth rate.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 3 Dec 2025 23:33:00 +0000

China will tax condoms to boost the birth rate. Pavarotti statue's Christmas ice ring placement is insulting to his widow and family. Georgia man rescues raccoon, gets bit in the face while driving, is diagnosed with rabies but gives the hospital a fake name and number. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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HR director drugged female job applicants to make them urinate during their interviews. Influencer gave free machetes and alcohol to the homeless.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 3 Dec 2025 00:20:10 +0000

Influencer sparks outrage after handing out free machetes and alcohol to the homeless in various cities "for clicks". South Korea distributes AI companion dolls to the elderly living alone to monitor and help them. French // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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When Batman is around, the public behaves: New study. Fart Walking after Thanksgiving is good for you, say doctors.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 1 Dec 2025 23:20:00 +0000

Doctor's recommend the Fart Walk post Thanksgiving. The Santa Claus House at the North Pole was the target of an armed terrorist. New study shows that people behave themselves in public when Batman is around. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Floridaman claims a cockroach told him to kill a couple guys. Florida will allow bear hunting for first time in a decade.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 01:53:52 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - State of Florida will allow bear hunting for first time in ten years. Floridaman kills two because a cockroach told him to do so. Florida priest assaults a woman after she tried to donate to his church. Elderly Florida men are arrested for lewd behavior in a nature reserve. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Adolf Hitler is about to win an election in Africa? Don't brine your turkey in the Great Salt Lake, is an actual warning in Utah.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 26 Nov 2025 23:27:01 +0000

Officials in Utah advise locals to not brine their turkeys in the Great Salt Lake. Bear attack shelters are now being sold in Japan after attacks continue. Adolf Hitler is about to win an election in Namibia, but it's not THAT guy. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Man dressed as his dead mom to go collect her pension. Lady found alive in a coffin right before cremation.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 25 Nov 2025 23:22:20 +0000

Woman found alive in a coffin right before being cremated at a Buddhist temple. Shark fins worth $11million were seized by authorities in Peru in major wildlife trafficking operation. Italian man dressed up as his dead mother for three years while collecting her pension. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Two Texas boys plot to invade Haiti and enslave the women and children. Man flashed his genitals on the highway because he needed excitement.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 24 Nov 2025 23:33:01 +0000

Man flashed his genitals on the highway because he needed the excitement in his life, deputies say. Bar in Manchester bans solo drinkers after 9pm and faces backlash. Two Texas men plotted to invade an island in Haiti, kill the men and enslave the women and children. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Florida woman squeezed boyfriend's privates until there was blood. Floridaman stole forklift to steal an ATM.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 21 Nov 2025 23:56:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman steals a forklift to steal an ATM. Florida sheriff gets backlash for posting mugshot of a 9 year old online. Floridaman arrested for walking naked in 36 degree weather claims it was a TikTok challenge. Florida woman arrested after grabbing her boyfriend's privates and not letting go until there was blood. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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AI teddy bear taught kids about BDSM and where to find knives. South Korea bans flights, halts military for a single college entrance test.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 20 Nov 2025 23:18:10 +0000

The band, The New Pornographers, decide to keep their name despite drummer's arrest for illegal children stuff. South Korea banned flights and halted military for a single nationwide college entrance exam. AI enhanced teddy bear gave BDSM sex advice and told kids where to find knives. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Stolen driveway leaves a woman scared and confused. Holocaust artifact auction canceled after backlash.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 19 Nov 2025 22:40:03 +0000

Stolen driveway leaves a woman very confused. Germany cancels an auction of Holocaust artifacts. Study indicates teenage binge drinking leads to success and higher pay later in life. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Passenger brought a meat cleaver on a flight. Prisoner sues for the right to eat Vegemite.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 18 Nov 2025 23:29:16 +0000

Australian prisoner sues for right to eat Vegemite. Passenger found with a meat cleaver on a flight. Study shows that shouting at Seagulls could prevent them from stealing your food. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Controversial cafe offers cuddling with baby lions while drinking tea. Meet Germany's first flock of gay sheep.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 17 Nov 2025 23:27:23 +0000

Two black metal musicians are missing in the mountains of Norway. Meet Germany's first flock of gay sheep. Cafe in China offers cuddling with lion cubs with tea. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Floridaman shoots son over heavy metal music. Naked Florida woman breaks into bagel shop for a shower.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 22:39:20 +0000

Floridaman shoots his son over heavy metal music. Naked Florida woman breaks into a bagel shop to shower. Florida woman drove 107mph to get to a Little Caesar's pizza. Florida woman tries to kidnap boy, claiming he's the "wrong color" for that grandma. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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A killer will be playing Santa at the local swap meet. Man steals a bus with passengers on it and makes all the stops.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 13 Nov 2025 23:35:28 +0000

Man was shot by his own dog. Man stole a bus but did a great job driving it, according to police. Man who murdered his wife will be playing santa at the local swap meet. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Pornography accidentally shown to kids on a public ferry. Smell animal butts at new exhibit in a Japan aquarium.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 12 Nov 2025 23:14:50 +0000

Pornography accidentally shown on a ferry boat but it probably didn't shock the children. Louisiana pastor calls woman a witch after she called the church asking for baby food help. Japan aquarium let's visitors smell animal butts in new smelly exhibit. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Starbucks Bearista cup is worth losing your teeth for this holiday season. Target orders employees to smile at customers to boost sales.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 22:50:16 +0000

The Starbucks Bearista holiday cup that customers are brawling over. Target requires employees to smile more at customers to boost holiday sales. Ramen surpasses sushi at the official nation food of Japan. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Balls Out Bowling is back, where bowling naked is required. Enter a lottery to be buried next to Jim Morrison?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 00:25:15 +0000

Paris residents can enter lottery to be buried next to Jim Morrison. Man drove stolen bus to Dublin because the other one was full of passengers. Balls Out Bowling is back where bowling naked is required. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Floridaman fires his gun over argument on how many eggs chickens lay. Man threatens to shoot police if they don't let his wife out of jail.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 7 Nov 2025 23:11:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman makes 45 calls to the police, demanding they release his wife from jail, threatens to shoot them. Floridaman opens fire over argument on how many eggs a chicken lays. Florida is being sued over recent law allowing pregnant women to park in handicapped spaces. Pro hockey team roll out the "Floridaman Cam" to make fun of opposing fans. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Nurse murdered his patients to get longer smoke breaks. Hot Ice Cream is a new stupid dessert we don't need.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 6 Nov 2025 22:28:03 +0000

Former supermodel Tyra Banks is selling Hot Ice Cream, the new groundrbeaking dessert. Over 350,000 students have missed school in Japan, a new record. German nurse gets life in prison after killing 10 patients to reduce his workload. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Death letters mailed to 500 living patients by medical facility. Murder hornets kill a family while ziplining..

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 5 Nov 2025 22:45:17 +0000

Health company sent death letters to over 500 living patients by mistake. Father and son attacked and killed by murder hornets while ziplining. Maldives becomes first country in the world to impose a generational ban on smoking. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Man shot neighbor because he thought her horse was too fat. Man wearing a Speedo breaks into 911 call center, attacks dispatch.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 4 Nov 2025 23:37:44 +0000

Texas man shot his neighbor because he thought her horse was getting too fat. French cyclist fell into a ravine and survived for 3 days on only wine. Man wearing only a Speedo broke into a 911 call center and attacked dispatch. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Woman was delivered human arms and fingers in a delivery mix-up. School wants to ban animal ears and tails over furry fears.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 3 Nov 2025 23:17:47 +0000

Woman ordered medications and instead received body parts. The most expensive cup of coffee in the world is $1000 and available in Dubai. School board wants to ban animal ears and tails. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Florida teacher gets high in class and offers her vape to her students. Woman hit in the face by a duck on a rollercoaster.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 31 Oct 2025 21:36:39 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida nudists arrested for being nude on the non-nude beach. Floridaman wakes from coma to blame his girlfriend for the car crash that put him in a coma. Florida woman teacher shows up to class high on cocaine and offers her vape to the kids. Florida woman dines and dashes, claims her hsband Eminem will pay for the bill. Florida woman hit in the face with a duck on a rollercoaster. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Walking speed limits for pedestrians introduced in Slovakia. Lady arrested after smoking crack while on oxygen at the hospital.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 30 Oct 2025 22:46:44 +0000

Slovakia introduces speed limits for pedestrians on sidewalks. Woman arrested for smoking a crack pipe while on oxygen at the hospital. 80 year old cruise ship passenger died after being left on a remote island called Lizard Island. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Aggressive laboratory monkeys with herpes on the loose. Japan sends in the troops to help stop bear attacks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 29 Oct 2025 22:10:01 +0000

Aggressive laboratory monkeys with herpes on the loose in Mississippi after escaping a truck. Japan sends in the troops after alarming number of bear attacks on people. Woman arrested for stabbing her husband with a ceramic squirrel for coming home without the beer. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Lonely bear breaks into a zoo to visit the other bears. Couple seeks divorce because their pets can't get along.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 22:17:00 +0000

Wild, lonely yet polite bear breaks into a zoo to visit the other bears. Father in trouble for giving his 12 yo son a hickey. Newlyweds in India seek a divorce because their pets don't get along. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Deaf woman hit by an airplane while walking her dog in a park. Boob jobs are shrinking as ballerina breasts become popular.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 27 Oct 2025 21:50:12 +0000

AI chatbots show signs of serious gambling addiction according to study. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Floridaman arrested for stealing recipes from a restaurant. Floridaman threatens to stab neighbor and eat her dog.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 Oct 2025 22:29:18 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested after his toddlers were seen holding guns, beer and marijuana in social media photos. Floridaman cook arrested for stealing secret recipes from a restaurant. Floridaman threatened to stab his neighbor and eat her dog. Floridaman stole a car with a baby inside and immediately returned it, apologized to woman. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Butt Breathing has been declared safe for humans. Many Americans will become obese overnight without gaining a pound.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 23 Oct 2025 23:18:00 +0000

Breathing through our butts is now delcared safe by researchers. American's will soon get more obese overnight without gaining a single pound. Woman fined $150 for pouring coffee down the drain in the UK. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Elderly man fakes his death to see who would come to his funeral. Customers suing sneaker company because of loud squeaks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Oct 2025 22:03:01 +0000

Elderly man in India fakes his own death just to see who would attend his funeral. Customers suing sneaker company because the footwear makes loud squeaky noises. Police flooded with volunteers for their marijuana impairment event. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Mosquitoes discovered in Iceland for first time ever. Restaurant called Whitexicans caused offense and trauma.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 22:08:05 +0000

Scientists discover mosquitoes in Iceland for first time ever. New York Mexican restaurant called Whitexicans causes some trauma to people with too much time on their hands. Woman stabs another woman after she takes too long at checkout. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Watch an ad, get some toilet paper at these dystopian toilets. City bans black cat adoptions ahead of Halloween.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 Oct 2025 22:18:52 +0000

City in Spain bans black cat adoptions for fear of twisted Halloween rituals. Artificial Intelligence chatbot suggests users try some heroin. Dystopian public toilets in China make users watch an ad before dispensing toilet paper. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Floridaman keeps prostitute, punches father. Floridaman attacks strip club manager with a cheeseburger.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 Oct 2025 21:07:47 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman punches his father after being ordered to remove the prostitute from their home. Floridaman robs store of scratch lottery tickets then returns to same store to redeem his winnings. Floridaman stole pigeons from a home. Floridaman assaults strip club manager with a cheeseburger. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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An island has over 1 million cats and it's a problem. African lawmaker killed when his car hits an elephant.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 15 Oct 2025 22:27:00 +0000

Zimbabwe lawmaker and poet died after his car hits an elephant. You will soon be able to sext erotic content on ChatGPT like an adult. The island of Cyprus has over 1 million cats and it's a problem. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Dozens of mystery sex toys wash up on beach in Scotland. Mother livestreams her childbirth on Twitch to tens of thousands.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Oct 2025 23:38:03 +0000

Dozens of sex toys wash up on beach in Scotland at the amusement of locals. Twitch streamer livestreams her birth to over 30,000 viewers. Wake up and smell the breakfast coming from your alarm clock at the Holiday Inn Express. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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There's a marathon where racers must eat Taco Bell along the route. Catholic church's altar wine so popular people order it in local bars.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 13 Oct 2025 22:06:35 +0000

Denver hosts a 31 mile marathon where racers have to eat Taco Bell along the way. Catholic Church in Kenya had to replace their altar wine after it go very popular at the local stores and bars. Community in Alabama have mixed emotions over some ICE Halloween decorations. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Florida woman dumps 75 used tampons on her ex's lawn. Floridaman caught with thermos inside his rectum while at jail.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 10 Oct 2025 22:26:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman caught sneaking a large thermos inside his rectum into the jail. Floridaman attacks his wife for not eating at Chili's with him. Florida parents left young son on side of the highway with a bag of guns. Florida woman firefighter dumped 75 possibly used tampons on her ex's lawn because he has a girlfriend. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Lady swallows 8 live frogs to cure back pain. Marijuana delivery carrier pigeons in NYC?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 Oct 2025 22:14:57 +0000

Old Chinese woman swallowed 8 live frogs to cure her back pain. New York City cannabis dispensary will launch marijuana delivery carrier pigeons. Man convinces Costco to give him the iconic $1.50 hot dog sign so he won't do drugs. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Airline will charge passengers to recline their seats. Tired single woman buys a billboard to find a husband.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 Oct 2025 21:42:17 +0000

WestJet budget airline will charge passengers for reclining in their seats. Oldest and most haunted Las Vegas hotel will pay you $5k to hunt for ghosts. Fed up single woman buys a billboard to find her future husband. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Please stop sending AI videos of Robin Williams to his daughter. Halloween decorations of dead local officials got a man arrested.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 Oct 2025 22:17:01 +0000

California bans overly loud commercials on streaming services. Robin WIlliams' daughter asks fans to stop sending her AI videos of her deceased father. Man arrested for Halloween decorations that allegedly portrayed dead bodies of local officials. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Mail carrier for USPS shot in the face by Amazon delivery driver. Emergency naked bike ride protest organized in Portland.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 6 Oct 2025 22:45:49 +0000

USPS mail carrier was shot by an Amazon delivery driver. A 22 year old male posed as a high school student and attended school for 19 days. Portland Oregon organizes emergency Naked Bike Ride as a protest. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Floridaman tried to post bail using an alligator he claims is also a lawyer. Floridaman kills and eats his own pet peacocks to spite a neighbor.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 3 Oct 2025 21:17:54 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman kills and eats his pet peacocks after dispute with a neighbor. Floridamen arrested after Netflix argument escalates to gunfire. Florida woman stole a publix motorized shopping cart and drove it to her doctors appointment. Floridaman arrested after trying to pay his friend's bail with an alligator he claims is his lawyer. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Teen shot after being mistaken for a squirrel by hunting buddy. Woman gives birth, then wins Mortal Kombat tourney while holding newborn.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 2 Oct 2025 20:58:36 +0000

Iowa teen dies after being mistaken for a squirrel on a hunting trip. Maxwell House will rebrand themselves Maxwell Apartment because they're insensitive. Five days after giving birth, woman wins Mortal Kombat tourney with her baby in arms. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform * SUPPORT Carson Ryan of Iowa here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/honor-carson-ryan-support-his-loved-ones

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Women's chests will be checked for illegal breast implants in North Korea. Dog owner kidnaps the man that ran over his dog, robs him.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 1 Oct 2025 22:08:18 +0000

Kim Jong Un orders breast checks to make sure North Korean women don't have those UN-socialist breast implants. Indian courts order doctors to fix their sloppy handwriting. Dog owner takes a man hostage that ran over his dog, robs him at gunpoint and forces him to dig a grave. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - wants Jonesy to come perform standup comedy in your city? Fill out the form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfvYbm8Wgz3Oc2KSDg0-C6EtSlx369bvi7xdUpx_7UNGA_fIw/viewform

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Passengers eat their passports mid-flight. High School teacher fed a live kitten to the classroom snake.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 Sep 2025 21:04:42 +0000

Flight descends into chaos as two male passengers eat their passports mid-flight. Teacher apologizes for feeding a kitten to the classroom snake. Chines film studio criticized for using AI to turn a gay couple straight in newly released Australian horror film. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman assaults man with a can of silly string. Floridaman caught with human skull and bones at Tampa airport.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 22:04:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Passenger caught with skull and human bones at Florida airport. Floridaman stole over 100 manhole covers. You can now carry your gun openly without a license in Florida. Florida woman escort arrested for assaulting man with a can of silly string. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Vicious squirrel attacks and hospitalizes town residents. Graveyard coffee truck banned from serving a hospital because of their "offensive" name.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 25 Sep 2025 22:14:11 +0000

Vicious squirrel attacks a California community, hospitalizing two residents. US bars Iranian diplomats from shopping at Costco without special permissions. Local coffee truck in Arizona banned from serving the hospital staff because of their brand name. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Italian tourist city will tax all visiting dogs. Aspen will make improvement to their Glory Hole Park.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 24 Sep 2025 22:40:49 +0000

Italian city will tax the tourists for their visiting dogs as they clamp down on canines. Missouri woman sentenced for trying to fraudulently selling Elvis' Graceland property. City of Aspen to make improvements to Glory Hole Park. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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DoorDash driver alerts police of hostage situation after delivering kidnapping items. Teacher arrested for using fart spray on campus.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 22:37:23 +0000

Assistant teacher arrested for using fart spray at the school causing thousands in damages. Pennsylvania bis driver accused of blasting the heat on the school, trying to "cook" the evil children. Doordash driver alerts police to hostage situation based on the suspicious items delivered. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Jesus Take the Wheel songwriter dies in plane crash. The Rapture is tomorrow but do NOT sell your house.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 23:45:07 +0000

British scientists discover that tea can be grown on the moon. Fools, I mean people are selling their belongings in anticipation of the upcoming Rapture. Jesus Take the Wheel songwriter dies in a plane crash. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman shots roommate for not bringing drugs to the football party. Floridaman in scuba diving outfit robs a restaurant, swims away.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 19 Sep 2025 23:41:45 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman kills his roommate for not bringing drugs to the football party. Florida woman punches an alligator to save her puppy. Floridaman in scuba diving suit robbed a floating restaurant and swam away with the cash. Florida woman bites a pit bull to save her own dog. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Psycho tunnels into his upstairs neighbor's apartment after disagreements. Drug dog visits school, drug dog sniffs teacher, drug dog finds drugs.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 Sep 2025 22:42:58 +0000

Samsung smart refrigerators will play on-screen ads to users during breakfast. Man is charged with tunneling into his upstairs neighbor's apartment after having disagreements. Drug dog visits a middle school in Louisiana, drug dog sniffs a teacher, drug dog finds cocaine. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man urinates on customers during movie screening of Demon Slayer. Court rules that digital avatars have feelings and can be compensated.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 17 Sep 2025 21:28:16 +0000

South Korean court rules that it's illegal to insult virtual pop idols. Holocaust survivor ends up beaten to death by in a retirement home by a wheelchair. Man arrested in Surprise Arizona after urinating on spectators in a movie theater during a screening of Demon Slayer. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Cheating scandal rocks world rock skimming championships. Airline bans flight crew members from drinking coffee.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 16 Sep 2025 21:21:38 +0000

Cheating scandal rocks the rock skimming world championship. British Airways bans flight crew members from drinking coffee pretty much anywhere. Parents ordered to pay a $300k fine after their dumb drunk teenagers urinated in a hot pot pot at popular restaurant. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Emotional support alligator no longer allowed in Walmart. Fed up nuns escaped their crappy retirement facility.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 15 Sep 2025 21:46:18 +0000

Defiant daring nuns escaped a terrible retirement home to go back to their convent. UK Doctor left in the middle of surgery to have sex with a nurse elsewhere. Man and his emotional support alligator are no longer welcome in a PA Walmart. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman was refused a foot smell, hits woman with his car. Florida woman squeezed her brother's privates and choked her mom over a Playstation..

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 12 Sep 2025 20:14:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman attacked a couple with bug spray after they cut him in line at a Publix store. Floridaman runs over a foot model after being refused foot smell privileges. Floridaman files for divorce after wife threatens his drum set. Florida women arrested after choking her mother and squeezing her brother's genitals over a Playstation 4. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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College kids skinned a dead bear in their dormitory. Cruise ship passenger jumps overboard to avoid his gambling debts.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 11 Sep 2025 20:11:20 +0000

Students at Cornell University caught skinning a dead bear in their dormitory. Cruise ship passenger jumped overboard to avoid his gambling debts. Jellyfish disrupted a second nuclear power plant in France. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Doctor amputated his own legs for the excitement. Kentucky man stabbed his brother in the genitals and we don't know why.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 9 Sep 2025 22:33:03 +0000

Surgeon doctor jailed after amputating his own legs as a sexual fetish. Kentucky man broke into his brother's home and stabbed him in the testicles with scissors. Two friends in Texas agree to shoot each other in the head with a rifle while wearing a bullet proof helmet. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Teen girls being used as hitwomen in organized crime wars. Elderly woman tricked by romance scammer pretending to be astronaut.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 8 Sep 2025 20:23:42 +0000

Hikers rescued after a crazy high mushroom trip in the wilderness. Teenage girls are being used as hitwomen in gangwars in Sweden. Elderly woman in Japan duped by romance scammer pretending to be an astronaut in distress. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman with no arms stabs a tourist. Floridaman calls 911 to report cocaine in his butt.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 5 Sep 2025 20:17:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY THROWBACK - Floridaman broke into a woman's home to pet her pat. Floridaman with no arms stabbed a tourist in Miami. Floridaman with a kitten denied entry to a strip club. Floridaman called 911 to report cocaine in his butt. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones * Please donate to help renovate the Historic Vernon Plaza Theater in Veron, TX. Family operated for 20 years. And friends of the podcast. https://www.gofundme.com/f/donate-for-new-theater-chairs-at-the-vernon-plaza-theater

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Influencer sells her hot farts for big money. Singer poisons bandmate with hormones to steal his girl.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 4 Sep 2025 19:33:51 +0000

THROWBACK EPISODE - Singer poisons bandmate with hormones in order to steal his girlfriend. Hot influencer sells her farts online for big money. Woman is the first ever to marry a hologram. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Beachgoers brave poop water over labor day weekend. Woman give birth to a Raver Jesus baby at Burning Man.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 2 Sep 2025 21:52:01 +0000

Fecal contamination warnings over Labor weekend doesn't totally discourage US beachgoers. Taco Bell used AI tech for their drive-thru and the result was 18,000 waters for one customer. Woman gave birth at Burning Man and didn't even know she was pregnant. //

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Florida woman toilet papers neighbor's car while wearing hotdog costume. Florida fake dentist used Krazy glue on customers' teeth.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 29 Aug 2025 22:12:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman arrested for putting toilet paper all over neighbor's car while wearing a hot dog costume. Florida woman arrested for practicing dentistry without a license, including using Krazy glue on patients. Florida city deploys the police to guard a crosswalk from being panted in the colors of the rainbow. Florida city bus driver caught taking the bus to the strip club. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Customer lights himself on fire after his flight is canceled. Dead lady nominated for mayoral candidate in UK.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 28 Aug 2025 22:20:01 +0000

Political party in the UK chose a dead lady for mayoral candidate. Dozens of students attacked by bees on the first day of school. Customer set himself on fire at the airport following canceled flight. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Orgy Dome destroyed after too much blowing at Burning Man. Beef Bandit arrested with all the beef in his pants.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 28 Aug 2025 00:10:27 +0000

Burning Man Orgy Dome completely destroyed by high winds blowing. Beef Bandit arrested with so much beef down his pants, it's ridiculous. Japanese online market bans the sale of Ultrasound photos and positive preggo tests. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Radioactive shrimp from Walmart may give you super powers. Old man sets fire to his care home after denied date with his girlfriend.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 26 Aug 2025 22:27:01 +0000

81 year old man set fire to a care home after staff denied him a trip with his girlfriend. Edmonton police warn public to be on the lookout for hugging bandits. Walmart recalls radioactive shrimp. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Teen girl sold her boyfriend to a telecom slave compound. Flight attendant found naked on drugs in the bathroom mid-flight.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 25 Aug 2025 21:54:01 +0000

City in Japan proposes two hour daily limit on smartphone use. British Airways flight attendant found naked on drugs in the bathroom. Teen Chinese girl faces trial for selling her boyfriend to a telecom fraud compound in Myanmar. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman sprayed disabled children with sprinklers as they got off the school bus. Floridaman arrested for flying a meth-drone into someone's home.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 22 Aug 2025 22:36:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman charged after spraying disabled children every day with sprinklers as they got on their school bus. Florida mother sent her child to school with a gun to give to the father. Despite heavy fines, Floridaman can't stop operating a pirate radio station out of his home. Floridaman arrested for flying a drone carrying drugs into a man's home. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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School is canceled after catalytic converters were stolen off the buses. Naked man wearing a gimp mask is prowling a neighborhood.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 21 Aug 2025 22:12:52 +0000

Michigan school district cancels classes after the catalytic converters were stolen off the school buses. Urgent hunt is on for a naked man wearing a gimp mask prowling around a UK neighborhood. A decade after losing her eyesight, woman can now see again through her tooth. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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NFL team hires male cheerleaders to the disgust of certain people. Missing Texas woman found living with a lost African tribe in Scotland.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 20 Aug 2025 21:55:02 +0000

Missing Texas woman found with a lost African tribe in a the woods of Scotland. Former Miss Universe contestant dies after colliding with an elk. Minnesota Vikings football team sparks controversy with conservatives after hiring two male cheerleaders for the upcoming NFL season. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Their son's brain was put in a box and handed to them, family sues funeral home. You can now sell tickets to your wedding to strangers.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 22:12:00 +0000

After their son'd brain was sent home in a cardboard box, family sues funeral home. Company helps you sell tickets to your wedding so strangers can attend. British man breaks world record by riding 55 roller coasters in one week. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Poop suitcase keeps Putin's poo top secret, but who carries it? Supermarket offers insultingly small reward for reporting shoplifters.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 18 Aug 2025 22:04:06 +0000

Skibidi, Delulu and other weird words will be added to the Cambridge dictionary. Iceland Supermarket offers reward to customers that report shoplifters. Putin travels with a poop suitcase because of justified paranoia. //Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman exposes herself at a Waffle House, licks manager's face. Florida teacher drunk drives into a fence between classes.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 15 Aug 2025 21:53:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman arrested for exposing herself at a Wafflehouse and licking the manager's face. Floridaman caught driving 120 mph claims he thought the police were racing him. Florida teacher drunk drove into a fence on school property between classes. Florida's Python Hunting Queen makes history by catching 60 snakes. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Pacifiers for adults are a new trend. Woman's legendary diarrhea leads to canceled flights.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 14 Aug 2025 23:14:47 +0000

Adult's sucking on baby pacifiers is a new trend, apparently. New bill in Ohio would create a registry of applicants that skip job interviews. United flight was canceled after woman has legendary diarrhea. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Diaper-wearing man asks young girl on a bicycle to change it. Bermuda Triangle is not underwater aliens after all.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 13 Aug 2025 21:49:48 +0000

Scientist claims he has solved the Bermuda Triangle Mystery. U.S. influencer stranded in Antarctica after landing without permission. Diaper-wearing Texas man approaches a girl at a school asking her to change his diaper. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman marries a chatbot after dating for 5 months. Starbucks Korea asks customers to not bring printers to the cafes.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 12 Aug 2025 21:50:00 +0000

Starbucks in South Korea asks customers to stop bringing desktop computers and printers to the cafe. French man arrested after lighting a cigarette off the flame of a WWI memorial. Woman gets engaged to an AI chatbot after dating for five months. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Flesh eating flies and deadly hybrid fire ants. Will the insects be the death of us?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 11 Aug 2025 22:32:00 +0000

Texas prepares for war with an invasion of flesh eating flies. A new deadlier hybrid version of fire ants is swiftly moving across the US. Prison Farm inmates allegedly ate guinea pigs they took from a Perth animal shelter. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman posed as a nurse, treated 4,000 patients without license. Floridaman beats up a golfer over slow play.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 8 Aug 2025 21:55:21 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman beats up a golfer for playing too slowly. Florida woman arrested for posing as a nurse and treating over 4000 patients without a license. Floridaman arrested for stealing Smokey the Bear signs to sell online. Woman arrested for possession of meth at Disney World, Florida. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man makes love to a refrigerator in Trader Joe's, threatens to stab everyone. Snails on crystal meth have sharp memories, according to science.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 7 Aug 2025 21:57:00 +0000

Scientists discover that snails on crystal meth have sharp memories. Man threatened to kill everyone after copulating with a refrigerator in a Trader Joe's. Police seize 100 takes of Nitrous Oxide at the Grateful Dead Show. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Fake doctor did testicular ultra sounds on runners in his apartment. Teacher in Japan fired after caught having a second part time job.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 6 Aug 2025 22:18:01 +0000

Japanese school teacher fired for working a second job at a convenience store. Breast milk ice cream debuts and is available nationwide. Man convicted of doing at home genital ultra sounds without a medical license. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman died on a bus with 26 iPhones glued to her body. Man stabs sandwich makers 4 years after making him wrong sandwich.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 5 Aug 2025 21:52:01 +0000

Woman found dead on a bus in Brazil with 26 iPhones glued to her body. New Jersey bakery owners were stabbed by angry customer over a sandwich they made him 4 years prior. Russian man, 88 years old, dies while trying to fly his home made DIY helicopter. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Zoo asks public to donate their dying pets to feed the predators. Bat flies into a woman's mouth while on vacation.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 4 Aug 2025 21:47:09 +0000

Denmark zoo asks the public to donate their unhealthy or dying pets to feed the predators. Bat flies into a woman's mouth in Arizona and it costs her $20k. Celsius energy drink cans were mistakenly filled with vodka. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Kids watch in horror as Chuck E. Cheese mascot arrested for fraud. Robotic bunnies deployed in Florida to help fight invasive pythons.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 1 Aug 2025 22:41:30 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Robotic bunnies will be deployed in Florida to fight the invasive pythons. Attended a drag show? The Florida government wants your name and info. Kids in Florida watch in horror as Chuck E. Cheese mascot arrested for credit card fraud. Florida woman caught trying to smuggle turtles in her bra through TSA. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Radioactive wasps discovered at a nuclear facility. Sex toy thrown onto the basketball court at a WNBA game.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 31 Jul 2025 22:32:00 +0000

Radioactive wasps have been discovered near nuclear facility. WNBA game is stopped when a sex toy is thrown onto the court during gameplay. Missionaries turn to secret audio devices to convert jungle tribes in the Amazon. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Tourists call police over hired escort's small breasts. Sharks are eating too much fish and the government is getting involved.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 22:08:01 +0000

US Senate votes on whether or not to kill some sharks for eating too much fish. Couple tricked over 20 women into carrying babies through surrogacy. Indian tourists in Thailand call the police because the girl they hired has small breasts. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Toddler bites cobra to death. Penis fillers and genital botox are very risky, warn doctors.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 22:02:00 +0000

Toddler bites a cobra to death in India. Google ordered to pay Argentine man thousands for putting his naked photo on Google Street View maps. Doctors in Scotland warn of the risks of penis filler and botox injections. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Serial butt sniffer arrested again for you know what. Petition to rename an airport after Ozzy Osbourne.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 22:02:11 +0000

Serial butt sniffer arrested yet again for, you guessed it - sniffing a butt. Petition launched to rename Birmingham airport after Ozzy Osbourne. Health department investigates after a Kentucky man woke up during his organ harvesting procedure. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman threatens to kill everyone on the Epstein list. Florida woman welcomed tourists with pepper spray and hotel thievery.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 25 Jul 2025 22:21:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman pepper sprayed tourists and stole their luxury watches. Floridaman tries to drive over children following ding dong ditch antics. Floridaman threatens to kill everyone on the Epstein client list. Florida is one of the top ten worst states for road rage. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Police arrest a man operating a fake embassy in India. Woman claims the Blue Angels military jets killed her cat with their noise.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 24 Jul 2025 22:17:00 +0000

Woman sues the Blue Angels claiming the military jets killed her cat with their loud flying noise. Indian police arrest a man that ran a fake embassy for fake countries. Uber will soon allow women riders and drivers to avoid men on their trip. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Nazi hikers are permitted to camp in the Swiss Alps. Doctors played musical bingo during a deadly surgery.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 23 Jul 2025 21:59:00 +0000

Nazi hikers were questions by the police in the Swiss Alps. Doctors played musical bingo during a surgery in which the patient perished. A New York law firm fired an intern for biting coworkers. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Swingathon, the largest swingers festival comes to the UK. Man was sucked into an MRI machine by the chain around his neck.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 22:09:01 +0000

Hundreds of couples will attend Swingathon, the largest sex festival in the UK. Man pulled into a MRI machine after entering with a large chain on his neck. A man refused to climb down a homeowner's roof because he thought there were drugs in the chimney. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Choking pornography will be banned in the UK. Man chugs Tabasco sauce, challenges everyone to fight in a parking lot.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 21 Jul 2025 22:22:00 +0000

Pornography featuring choking and strangulation will be banned in the UK. Firefighter ends a baseball game with his water hose after a ball hit his personal vehicle. Man arrested for chugging Tabasco sauce and challenging all-comers in the parking lot of a sporting goods store. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman with stolen motorcycle and meth hidden in his anal cavity. Florida woman bear maced a driver that ran over a chicken.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 18 Jul 2025 22:16:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman bear maced a driver that ran over a chicken. Florida receptionist overpaid $400k by her employer by mistake and she spent it. Floridaman arrested with stolen motorcycle and meth hidden in his anal cavity. Florida flesh eating bugs have killed four this summer. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Dating app for Disney adults launches. Soccer star in trouble after hiring dwarves for his birthday party.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 17 Jul 2025 22:36:52 +0000

Dating app for Disney fans is launching. Spanish soccer star hired dwarfs and questionable ladies for his 18th birthday. UNO Classic card game casino club is popping up in Las Vegas and other cities across the US. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Floridaman. SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Nick Cannon (12 kids/6 different women) launches a relationship advice podcast. 114 year old marathon runner dies after being hit by a car while running.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 16 Jul 2025 22:09:01 +0000

Nick Cannon, tv host and serial impregnator, is starting a podcast offering relationship and dating advice. 114 year old marathon runner struck and killed by a car in India. Thai woman arrested for blackmailing Buddhist monks with sex videos and photos. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Mother makes bomb threat to stop her married son from taking flight with his girlfriend. Naked American man found partying in the sewers of Bangkok.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 21:35:04 +0000

Mother calls in a fake bomb threat to the airport to stop her married son from taking a trip with his girlfriend. American couple wins the World Wife-Carrying Championship. Naked American man found in a Bangkok sewer refused help and bit rescuers. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Chimps are putting sticks in their butts to look cool, study says. Elmo's X account was hacked and the result: very offensive Elmo.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 14 Jul 2025 22:01:06 +0000

Chimps are sticking grass and sticks in their butts to be fashionable. Hundreds of packages mistakenly shipped to woman's home by Amazon, leading to her year of hell. Elmo's (Sesame Street) X account (Twitter) was hacked and then posted very offensive posts. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman smokes meth and steals train on his birthday. After getting botox in a backyard shed, Florida woman's face is paralyzed.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 11 Jul 2025 22:15:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman pleases himself at a Starbucks. Floridaman high on meth steals a tourist train on his birthday. Florida woman's face is paralyzed after receiving botox from unlicensed doctor in a shed. Floridaman steals 58 right shows but why? // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Dead body found in a Goodwill donation bin. Billboards offering to buy your crack house seem insulting.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 10 Jul 2025 21:38:55 +0000

Heathrow airport will play ambiance sound featuring the sounds of an airport throughout the airport. Dead body was found in a Goodwill donation bin. A man put up billboards offering to buy the crackhouses in Cleveland. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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New Barbie Doll with Type 1 Diabetes. Belly dancer arrested for being "too seductive".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 9 Jul 2025 21:51:01 +0000

National Park in China is hiring"Wildmen" to howl and eat raw food for the tourists. An Italian bellydancer was arrested in Egypt for being too seductive. A New Barbie doll with Type 1 Diabetes hits the market. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Bees attack a whole town in France. Politicians in Spain not allowed to pay for happy endings.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 8 Jul 2025 20:50:34 +0000

Bees attack an entire town in France, hospitalizing some citizens. Furniture ordered to pay damages over cushions that needed constant fluffing. Spain's ruling party bans the members from hiring sex workers. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman threw spaghetti at his mother because she had demons in her head. Floridaman broke into stranger's home to avoid his angry wife.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 4 Jul 2025 22:34:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman opens fire on the garbage truck. Floridaman threw spaghetti at his mother because she had demons in her head. Floridaman breaks into a stranger’s property to avoid his angry wife. Floridaman felon reports his own illegal attempt to barter guns. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Teacher got drunk and made students dance the Macarena. Chuck E. Cheese is opening arcades for adults.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 3 Jul 2025 22:33:41 +0000

Teacher drank in class, swore at students and danced the Macarena. Chuck E. Cheese is opening arcades for adults . Jonestown Massacre site to reopen as tourist destination. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Travelers with swamp crotch keep setting off TSA alarms. Stop sending unsolicited urine samples, asks a medical facility.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 2 Jul 2025 22:35:01 +0000

Medical facility in Scotland asks patients to please stop sending unsolicited urine samples. Travelers With Swamp Crotch Keep Setting Off TSA Alarms. White actress sues San Diego County Library for not allowing her to portray Black women. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Monk shoots a cleric over loud cell phone use in a monastery. Thousands of Norwegians told they won millions in lottery error.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 1 Jul 2025 22:15:01 +0000

Monk guns down fellow cleric in temple bathroom over loud phone. Thousands in Norway told they won up to millions in lottery error. Human Remains Lost After Memorial Spaceflight Capsule Crashes Into Pacific. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Cocaine use is at all time highs but why? Americans arrested for sending Bibles and rice into North Korea.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 30 Jun 2025 22:26:04 +0000

Buskers slam new French-language requirement in Quebec City tourist hub. Americans detained trying to send rice, Bibles, dollar bills to North Korea. Cocaine use and production hits record all time high. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman drove his Tesla into a restaurant to charge it. 74 year old Floridaman with a shotgun stole a fire truck.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 Jun 2025 22:18:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - 74-year-old Floridaman fights firefighters with shotgun and steals their fire truck. Handcuffed Florida woman opened fire on deputy during ride to jail. Florida man who drove through restaurant to charge his EV. Florida woman allegedly hid several syringes and a bag of drugs 'inside her person'. //SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Visit a North Korean beach resort and hope you can come home. Beekeeper unleashed his bees on police officers during traffic stop.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 26 Jun 2025 22:01:00 +0000

Beekeeper Unleashed a Swarm of Bees on Police During Traffic Stop. North Korea to open beach resort to expand tourism. Swarms of tiny nose robots could clear infected sinuses, scientists say. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Best place to have herpes is New Zealand according to their commercial. Scotland may have the most alcoholics according to new data.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 25 Jun 2025 22:07:00 +0000

Best place to have herpes is New Zealand according to their award winning commercial. Scotland’s alcohol consumption dangerously excessive. Italy cracks down on violence against referees. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Hotel no longer allowing panda bears waking up their guests. 145 syringe prickings at a French music festival.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 24 Jun 2025 22:23:01 +0000

Chinese hotel told wake-up service involving red pandas climbing onto guest beds must cease. Syringe attacks during France music festival leave 145 jabbed and several hospitalised. Lollipop man banned from giving children high fives because it upsets drivers. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Pole dancers hired by parents for son's jr. high graduation. Hetero Awesome Festival in Idaho is not so awesome after all.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 23 Jun 2025 22:38:00 +0000

Taiwanese parents hire pole dancers to celebrate son's graduation, police intervene to disperse crowd. Disneyland Paris calls in police over alleged fake wedding with child bride. Dozens attend the Hetero Awesome Fest in Idaho. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman pees on $10k worth of Spam in a Sam's Club. Floridman pulls a gun after argument over mangos.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Jun 2025 22:44:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman (and Karen) arrested for off-road tailgating teen on an e-bike. Floridaman Urinates on $10k Worth of Spam and Vienna Sausages at a Sam's Club. Florida attorney general pitches ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ to hold migrants. Argument over mangos ends with Florida man pulling gun. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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No bra, no exam. University does bra checks before a test. Fake dentist did root canals using online tutorials.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Jun 2025 07:09:30 +0000

Fake dentist gave root canals after reading online instructions. Man finds out he was married without his knowledge, ex-girlfriend arrested. ‘No bra, no exam’ as Nigerian university sparks outrage over bra checks before exams. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Shark falls from the sky onto a disco golf course. You can now buy Ozzy Osbourne's DNA in a can.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 22:12:00 +0000

Liquid Death Is Selling Iced Tea Cans Containing Ozzy Osbourne’s DNA. Download festivalgoers warned against making accidental 999 calls from moshpit. Hammerhead shark falls from sky onto disc golf course in South Carolina. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Male escort is left $1M in widow's will and family fights it. Influencers flock to Air India crash site for selfies.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 17 Jun 2025 22:06:00 +0000

Family challenges 84-year-old woman’s will after $1M left to her male escort companion. People urged to report crop circles to police. Visitors and influencers throng Air India crash site, take selfies near aircraft wreckage. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Rollercoaster riders warned to keep mouths closed because of giant bugs. Half the popular of Dhana is in the Drunkard Association.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 16 Jun 2025 22:27:00 +0000

Amusement park in Ohio warns parkgoers to keep mouths closed on the rides because of cicadas. Struggling bargain chain Poundland sold for a pound. Ghana Drunkard Associate warns government to bring down liquor prices or else. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Naked Floridaman at the gas station pumping his pump. Floridaman called 911 for not getting real "service" at a strip club.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 13 Jun 2025 22:05:58 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman posed as a flight attendant to score more than 100 free flights. Floridaman tried to pay for intercourse at a strip club then called 911 to complain about not receiving services. Ron DeSantis Says Floridians Have Right to Hit Protesters With Cars. Naked Floridaman with a junk pump arrested near Ocala gas station. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Brazilian comedian jailed for jokes about race, weight and gender. Politician removes his clothes, invites citizens on a nude beach trip.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 12 Jun 2025 21:51:14 +0000

Brazilian comedian sentenced to jail for jokes about race, weight and gender. German politician removes clothes and asks citizens to join him on swingers trip in France. New laws punish bad drivers with tech that forces cars to go the speed limit. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Drunk mule-riding Kentucky man unleashed a raccoon inside a bar. Orgasmic meditation cult leaders in trouble for being too culty.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 11 Jun 2025 22:08:00 +0000

Mule-riding Kentucky man accused of unleashing a raccoon inside bar after being turned away. Leaders of Orgasmic Meditation women's wellness company convicted of forced labor. Students in Nigeria are selling eggs and sperm to pay college tuition. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman sent 2,000 lbs of onions to her ex boyfriend to make him cry. Church apologizes for the naked chicken dancing show.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 10 Jun 2025 22:11:00 +0000

German cathedral is sorry for having a naked chicken dance production by the altar. Woman in China sends 1,000 kg of onions to her ex-boyfriend's doorstep to make him cry. Reported Bigfoot sighting prompts cannabis dispensary to offer a free preroll for photographic proof. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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You can't use your Costco card as your ID, TSA anounces. Protests over goldfish races?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 9 Jun 2025 21:31:59 +0000

TSA urges people to stop trying to use a Costco card as their official REAL ID. Japanese city pays people to stand on escalators for six hours a day. Group protests over goldfish races in San Diego. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman sprays bear mace at children blowing bubbles. Floridaman gets down with himself at a bus stop, claims he's Capt. Kirk.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 6 Jun 2025 22:11:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Police: Floridaman locked employees inside a restaurant and demanded $6 million over Netflix documentary. Florida woman sprays bear mace at neighbor's children playing with bubbles. Florida woman accused of attacking child on plane who called her 'Miss Piggy'. Florida man caught pleasuring himself at a bus stop tells police he's Captain Kirk from Star Trek. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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200 year old erotic artsy condom goes on display in a museum. Fried chicken flavored toothpaste is a disgusting hit.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 5 Jun 2025 22:15:00 +0000

A 200-year-old condom decorated with erotic art goes on display in famous Dutch museum. Fried chicken-flavored toothpaste sells out shortly after it's introduced. Bird Feeders Banned in New Jersey Town As Legislators Push for State Ban. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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AI scam company was 700 Indians pretending to be Chatbots. Mom attacked school principal after daughter caught fighting.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 4 Jun 2025 22:14:00 +0000

Mom ‘attacks principal and superintendent’ after being called to school to discuss daughter’s fighting. AI Startup Company Revealed to Be 700 Indian Employees Pretending to Be Chatbots. Thai Chicken Secures Place as NASA Astronaut Food. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Flight attendant dances naked mid-flight after taking drugs. New mom wins a marathon despite breast feeding along the way.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 3 Jun 2025 21:00:36 +0000

British Airways flight attendant found naked and dancing in business class bathroom after taking drugs. New mother wins 100-kilometre ultra marathon run despite breast feeding her six-month-old daughter three times on the way. Man accused of breaking into home and licking woman’s toes while she slept. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman on meth fights gators, attacks police with garden shears. Floridaman claimed he's Jesus, kissed a minor in a locker room.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 30 May 2025 22:00:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman claims he’s Jesus, kisses a minor in gym locker room. Floridaman Sentenced to 30 Days for Shooting and Poisoning Dolphins. DeSantis signs bill to allow transactions using gold and silver in Florida. Meth-crazed Florida man is bitten by alligator, charges at cops with garden shears before he’s shot dead in wild series of events. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Hikers, high on mushrooms, thought friend was dead and called 911. Dutch accuse Belgians of stealing all their wind.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 29 May 2025 21:41:32 +0000

Hikers Called 911 Over ‘Dead’ Friend, Turns Out They Were Just High on Mushrooms. Japan finally has a sumo champion after years of Mongolian dominance. Belgians accused of ‘stealing wind’ from the Dutch. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Final Destination for one woman was a ceiling landing on her during screening. 24 yeard old impersonated a high school student for over a year.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 28 May 2025 22:15:01 +0000

Japan cracks down on weird baby names like Pudding and Pikachu. Cinema ceiling falls on woman during Final Destination: Bloodlines screening in Argentina. 24 year old adult impersonated 17-year-old high school student. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Young American men are joining the Russian Church of "Manliness". Amazon tribe learns about lawsuits by suing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 27 May 2025 21:41:04 +0000

Young American men are joining Russian churches promising 'absurd levels of manliness'. Amazon tribe sues New York Times over story it says led to p@rn addict claims. Drunk and Lost: Man Spends Hours with Rescue Team Searching for Himself. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man woke up to find a cargo ship beached in his back yard. Scientists tortured guinea pigs with Adele's music for several days.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 26 May 2025 22:22:46 +0000

China’s unemployed Gen Z are proudly calling themselves ‘rat people’ and spending all day in bed. Norwegian man wakes to find cargo ship beached in his garden. Scientists made guinea pigs listen to Adele for seven days and the results are both surprising and worrying. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida mail carrier arrested for drunk driving her delivery route. Floridaman shot his neighbor's cow 5 times.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 23 May 2025 21:41:21 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida mail carrier arrested for drunk driving while on her delivery route. Florida man shoots neighbor's cow 5 times after it wandered onto his property. Florida woman arrested after punching officer’s testicles at a steakhouse. Floridaman arrested for drunkenly driving 118mph with children in car. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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First-ever Oscar Mayer Wienermobile race. OnlyFans model slept with 583 men in 6 hours.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 22 May 2025 22:17:00 +0000

Indy 500 to host first-ever Oscar Mayer Wienermobile race. Couple lost opposite arms while holding each other as tornado ripped apart home. OnlyFans model hospitalized after sleeping with 583 men in 6 hours. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones and DONATE to the Tornado couple that lost arms: https://www.gofundme.com/f/aid-for-tornado-victims-recovery

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Every dog gets one bite, court rules. The competition to see who's best at doing absolutely nothing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 21 May 2025 22:16:00 +0000

Every dog is entitled to one bite, courts rule.South Koreans compete to see who’s best at doing absolutely nothing. A scientific study has revealed that “Sophia” or Sofia is officially the most beautiful name in the world.// SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Study shows why serial killers are so attractive. Emotional support Alpaca not allowed inside supermarket.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 20 May 2025 22:07:00 +0000

Court will decide if supermarket discriminated by not allowing alpaca in store. Kansas Mom Sues Porn Sites Because Her 14 Year Old Son Visited Some. Psychopaths Are More Attractive, Study Warns. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Kindergarten student brought jello shots to class. Student brought a hand grenade to show and tell.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 19 May 2025 22:07:00 +0000

Primary school evacuated after student brings in a grenade for show and tell. Pennsylvania kindergarten student handed out Jello shots to classmates. China and Russia Sign Deal to Build Nuclear Power Plant on the Moon. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman attacks her wife with cheesy nachos. Lady attacks her neighbor with 10 lb bef stick at Walmart.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 16 May 2025 22:33:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida Woman Arrested After Nacho-Related Attack on Wife. Florida woman arrested for smacking neighbor with 10-pound meat stick at Walmart. Florida Woman Threatened to Shoot Middle Schoolers and 'Blow Their Heads Off' for Fishing By Her Property. Florida woman nabbed for sharing explicit Chihuahua content. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Police find naked man with Vaseline in a Lowe’s display shed. Airline serves white wine to a 3 year old.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 15 May 2025 22:15:00 +0000

Police find naked man in Lowe’s display shed with Vaseline and phone. Airline accidentally serves wine to toddler traveling in business class.Woman divorces husband after ChatGPT reads his coffee grounds and predicts affair. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Chimps wipe their butts after sex, study finds. United Arab Emirates first nation to use AI to write laws.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 14 May 2025 22:34:00 +0000

Chimpanzees use leaves to wipe bums and clean up after sex, study finds. Fifth Annual European Gull Screeching Championship, attracted 60 seagull soundalikes from 14 countries. United Arab Emirates first nation to use AI to write laws. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man with STDs infects coworkers after urinating into water cooler. Exploding birds plague a California neighbrhood.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 13 May 2025 22:14:00 +0000

If Humans Die Out, Octopuses May Have the Skills to Build the Next Civilization. Man with STD infected multiple coworkers after urinating into water cooler. Exploding birds plague California neighborhood as residents plead for help. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Chess is banned in Afghanistan due to powerful Queen. You must be over 21 years old to dine inside this McDonald's.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 12 May 2025 22:05:00 +0000

New York bill would legalize medically assisted suicide in the state. Chess banned in Afghanistan due to religious restrictions. McDonald's now has 21+ policy for indoor dining at Virginia location. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman gored by a Bison in Yellowstone Park. Florida woman urinates on a man after stabbing and robbing him.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 9 May 2025 21:54:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman gored by a Bison in Yellowstone National Park. Floridaman arrested for placing "Swasticar" stickers on Teslas. Floridawoman urinates on victim’s leg after stabbing and robbing him. Floridaman Uber driver wearing ‘Retired Drug Dealer’ shirt arrested after 24 grams of meth found in car. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Mother brought Jell-O shots to a 5th grade class party. Woman spent thousands to turn into a cat.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 8 May 2025 22:12:00 +0000

Woman Spends $8K to Look Like a Cat, Now Deeply Regrets It. Squatters wouldn't leave a man's home, so he moved in with them. Texas mother arrested after bringing Jell-O shots to 5th-grade classroom party. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Raccoon caught with a meth pipe in the driver's seat. Tourist impales himself on a spike at the Colosseum.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 7 May 2025 22:15:00 +0000

Raccoon caught in driver’s seat with meth pipe in its mouth. American tourist impales himself on a spike at the Colosseum in Rome. United Flight Attendants Keep Leaving Passengers Asleep On Empty Planes. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Men are shaving their eyelashes to look more masculine. Hairless robots are taking our fast food jobs.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 6 May 2025 22:56:57 +0000

Robots are taking fast food jobs, leaving us with less hair in our food. Nail salon employee pleads guilty after holding 13 remote IT jobs. Men are shaving off their eyelashes cuz it's masculine to do so. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man sets fire to his own home twice in same night to watch firefighters work. Man lets snakes bit him 200 times for science.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 5 May 2025 22:17:00 +0000

Man Sets His Own House on Fire Twice in One Night to Watch Firefighters Work. He let snakes bite him 200 times to create a better snakebite antivenom. Fart spray causes chaos at a local carnival. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman touched lady realtors' feet at open house showings multiple times. Floridaman arrested for having three wives.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 2 May 2025 22:19:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested for having three wives in three different counties. Florida Man Accused Of Touching As Many As A Dozen Realtors' Feet During Open House Showings. Former Disney worker sentenced to 3 years for hacking into park menus and altering them. Florida couple has sex on the beach, but not the drink. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Luigi Mangiano: The Musical? Town burns all the confiscated weed, gets all the locals high.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 1 May 2025 22:14:00 +0000

Luigi Mangione Is Now the Subject of a Musical Theatre Performance. Turkish town of 25,000 gets involuntary high from a 20-ton cannabis burn by authorities. Woodpecker damages more than 20 vehicles in Massachusetts city. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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High school student performs DIY exorcism on his math teacher. Runaway kangaroo shuts down entire highway.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 30 Apr 2025 22:12:00 +0000

Runaway kangaroo on the loose named Sheila shuts down Alabama interstate. High school student performs a DIY exorcism on his math teacher. Neighbors demand answers after ‘rampant masturbation’ takes over Seattle park. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Passenger strips naked and poops on the seat on flight. Radio station used an AI host for months and nobody knew.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 29 Apr 2025 22:32:00 +0000

Student Rescued From Mt. Fuji Goes Back for Smartphone, Needs Second Rescue. Southwest Airlines passenger allegedly strips naked, poops on plane seat during flight. Australian radio station secretly used an AI host for six months. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Helpful man hides marijuana Easter eggs all over town. Selfies with the Pope's body causes outrage.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 28 Apr 2025 22:34:00 +0000

Man accused of devising ‘scavenger hunt’ with plastic Easter eggs filled with marijuana. US urges Mexico to stop screwworm parasite from crossing border. Selfies With Pope Francis' Body Spark Fury. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman poses as ICE, kidnaps ex's new wife. Floridaman claims he's Jesus, attacks his Holy Father.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 25 Apr 2025 22:14:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida Woman Posed as ICE Agent and kidnapped Ex-Boyfriend's Wife. Floridaman Claiming to Be ‘Jesus and God’ Shot Dead After Attacking Parents. Floridaman who went to prison for impersonating a cop arrested for doing it again. Floridaman Caught with 'Bulky Wallet Full of Cocaine' at Magic Kingdom. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Defeat the Cartel with songs, urges Meixico's President. White supremacists put messages inside Easter Eggs.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 24 Apr 2025 22:09:00 +0000

Mexican President Organizes Song Contest To Counter Popular Music Genre Glorifying Cartels. Maine residents find Easter eggs containing White Supremacist propaganda in park. Oxford academics drank wine out of the skull of a slave woman as late as 2015. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Crucifixion reenactment gone wrong as 84 year old man falls from cross. Ant smuggling is the new wildlife trafficking trend.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 23 Apr 2025 22:02:00 +0000

Ant smugglers arrested in Kenya as government warns of new trafficking trends. Trading card series celebrating the humble lives of middle-aged men is popular in Japan. Man, 84, critically injured after falling from cross during crucifixion reenactment. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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First Chipotle in Mexico will soon open. Texas school bans state flag because of breast drawing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 22 Apr 2025 22:09:00 +0000

Chipotle heads south of the border with opening of 1st location in Mexico. TikTok trend for ‘Dubai chocolate’ causes international shortage of pistachios. Texas school district bans Virginia state flag and seal over naked breast. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Burning sex toys cause 3-alarm fire damaging homes. Man sinks in quicksand and emerges with a girlfriend.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 22:16:00 +0000

Burning sex toys cause 3-alarm Staten Island fire damaging homes. Man sinks in quicksand and emerges with a girlfriend. NYC woman dies after unlicensed surgeon tried to remove her butt implants. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida women arrested for selling human bones on Facebook. Floridaman named "Cocaine" attacked Subway workers with a knife.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 18 Apr 2025 22:11:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida man shoots himself in scheme to get a date with coworker. Florida women arrested for selling human remains on Facebook Marketplace. Florida lawmakers warn anyone trying to manipulate weather faces a felony. Floridaman named "Cocaine" attacked Subway employees with a knife. // /SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Crosswalks hacked to play funny Elon Musk and Jeff Bozo messages. Police invite the public to get high at the station, they'll provide snacks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 17 Apr 2025 22:03:00 +0000

918 people play Monopoly in Australia to break the group gaming world record. Unusual request from Seattle local police: Get high with us at the station. Hacked pedestrian crossings play funny audio messages from Musk and Bezos. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Boyfriend sent bomb threat to his own girlfriend's cruise. Man made love to a corpse on NYC subway.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 16 Apr 2025 22:09:00 +0000

Man who didn’t want to look after girlfriend’s pet sent bomb threat to cruise she was on. Man sought by NYPD for having sex with corpse on Manhattan subway train. Eggs are so expensive that some Americans will be decorating potatoes this Easter. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Sperm Racing is coming to Los Angeles. Teacher gave students cannabis gummies.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 15 Apr 2025 22:19:00 +0000

Sperm racing - a new sport is coming to Los Angeles. Buffalo Public School teacher accidentally gave students THC edibles. Residents furious that man continues to take nude walks through small Kansas neighborhood. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Cowboys ride "emotional support" horses through Walmart. China warns lightweight people stay indoors or be blown away by winds.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 14 Apr 2025 21:57:57 +0000

China warns lightweight folks should stay indoors during the upcoming widstorm so they dont get blown away. Unsecured penguin caused helicopter crash in South Africa. ‘Cutthroat cowboys’ busted after wild viral video captures them riding ‘emotional support’ horses through Walmart. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida principal called student "Sexy Chocolate" as he rubbed her feet. Floridaman denied job interview, throws his urine.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 11 Apr 2025 22:23:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida man threw bottles of pee on employees of business that denied him job interview. assistant principal made student rub her feet, called him ‘Sexy Chocolate’. Florida teacher loses job for calling student by ‘preferred’ name. Southwest flight tried to take off from Florida taxiway after crew mistook it for runway. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Murder prediction technology will identify future killers. Bio company brings back the extinct Dire Wolf.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 10 Apr 2025 22:11:00 +0000

UK is creating murder prediction technology to identify people most likely to kill. Bio company uses new tech to bring back the extinct Dire Wolf. Uber rideshare company releases their list of strange items left behind by passengers. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Foster mom traded a human child for a monkey. NASA asks for help recycling bags of moon poop.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 9 Apr 2025 22:19:00 +0000

NASA Offers $3 Million to Anyone Who Can Recycle 96 Bags of Astronaut Feces on the Moon. Teens are delaying getting their driver’s licenses, but why? Cops investigating if Missouri foster mom traded a kid for a monkey to boost her exotic animal collection. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man's 7 "emotional support" tigers were seized from his home. Ninja sword ban begins in the UK.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 8 Apr 2025 22:00:00 +0000

Nevada man arrested after 7 'emotional support' tigers seized from his home. Ninja sword ban begins in the UK this summer. Laughing gas appears to reduce depression, but researchers don't totally understand why. //SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Swastika-tattooed penis pic shared by a doctor leads to a fine. Church hosts pro wrestling matches to attract members.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 7 Apr 2025 22:00:00 +0000

A church in England hosts pro wrestling matches in a bid to attract converts. Queensland surgeon fined for sharing photo of patient’s swastika-tattooed penis. American influencer arrested for contacting indigenous tribe that's off limits. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida enjoys vandalizing Tesla's. Floridaman gets violent after children refuse refills at a lemonaide stand.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 4 Apr 2025 21:42:56 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman Tesla thief returns to dealer to get his belongings after stealing Cybertruck during test drive. Florida ranks among best states for ‘Alien Survival. Florida woman faces felony for Tesla bubble gum vandalism. Florida Man Arrested After Violent Outburst Over Lemonade Stand Refill. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Monster that lives under a child's bed turns out to be real. Small town attempts to break the world kazoo record.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 3 Apr 2025 22:03:12 +0000

‘Monster’ under a child's bed in Kansas town leads to arrest. Macon's kazoo ensemble ends on low note, fails to break Guinness World Record. US bans government personnel in China from romantic or sexual relations with Chinese citizens. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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OnlyFans sued when guys realize they're talking to Indian men instead of models. Poor sleep leads to conspiracy theory thinking.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 2 Apr 2025 21:55:32 +0000

Poor sleep can make you more susceptible to conspiracy theories. Man has no idea who is putting gallons of urine in his recycling bin. OnlyFans Sued After Two Guys Realize They Might Not Actually Be Talking to Actual Models. // / SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Truck Nuts and exposed breasts are a crime in Idaho. Amish buggies are being robbed at gunpoint.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 1 Apr 2025 22:03:23 +0000

Truck Nuts and exposed breasts are a criminal offense in Idaho. Couple caught having sex on grave in historic local cemetery. Amish buggies targeted in armed robberies. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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White lady who identifies as black plans to move to Africa. Top sperm bank suffers embarrassing leak.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:11:00 +0000

A science nerd may face jail for importing plutonium in bid to collect periodic table elements. California sperm bank suffers embarrassing leak. White woman who identifies as black plans to move to Africa. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman wanks in front of banks. Florida flight attendant attacks with a beer bottle.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 28 Mar 2025 22:37:15 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman Charged with Exposure After Allegedly Wanking in Front of Bank. Florida bill to allow teens to work overnight hours on school days. ‘There’s nothing wrong with drugs’: Florida man accused of drug trafficking with kids in car. Florida flight attendant arrested after beer bottle attack at Funky Buddha. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man operates on himself using Youtube surgery tutorial. $6 million solid gold toilet thieves found.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 27 Mar 2025 21:49:53 +0000

Woman arrested after being found in bed with dead man lying on top of her. Indian Man Performs Surgery On Himself After Watching YouTube Tutorial. UK court finds men who stole $6 million gold toilet guilty. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Teen sisters tried to stab their mother for turning off WiFi. Fake Enrique Iglesias scammer gets woman to almost divorce her husband.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 26 Mar 2025 22:09:00 +0000

United Airlines flight to China diverted to San Francisco after pilot forgets passport. 3 teen sisters arrested for trying to kill their mom after she turned off the Wi-Fi.63-Year-Old Woman Planned to Divorce Husband for Fake Enrique Iglesias. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Show your ID to buy a sex toy online in Texas. Alien Abduction Day is your opportunity to get abducted.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 25 Mar 2025 21:56:00 +0000

Texans Might Soon Have to Show Photo ID to Buy a Sex Toy Online. Man abandons 232nd suicide attempt for shawarma. Albertans second most likely in Canada to be abducted by aliens. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Race horses on cocaine in Tasmania. Church groups no longer allowed to bribe children with candy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 24 Mar 2025 22:09:12 +0000

Tasmanian harness racing industry inquiry hears allegations of race fixing and horses on cocaine. Ohio school district bans candy bribes used to lure kids to Bible classes. Cadabomb Okami, the world’s most expensive dog, sells for $5.3 million to a smug annoying rich guy. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman pulls out a gun and demands karaoke at the bar. Floridaman exposed his package to a mail carrier.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 21 Mar 2025 22:23:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman pulls out his gun at a bar because the karaoke machine didn't work. Florida bill proposes removal of Algebra and English exam requirements for H.S. graduation. Floridaman exposed his genitals to a mail carrier in Miami Gardens. Scalpers Caught Selling Free DMV Appointments For $250 In Miami. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Down syndrome nudes are being sold online using AI. Church daycare shut down after toddlers given Benadryl to make them sleepy for nap time.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 20 Mar 2025 22:14:00 +0000

Church daycare shut down after worker gave toddlers Benadryl to make them sleepy for nap time. Antarctic scientist accused of threatening to kill colleagues trapped in research station. People are using AI to create influencers with Down Syndrome who sell nudes. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman operated illegal dentistry out of her home for eight years. Five men shut down intersection with serious twerking.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 22:09:00 +0000

Five men shut down a busy intersection with their twerking. Prisons are using virtual reality headsets for their inmates in solitary confinement. NY woman arrested for working as a fake dentist for eight years. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Viagra coffee gets you up in the morning. Men rob a Tennessee gas station using two pythons.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 18 Mar 2025 21:42:28 +0000

Singapore bans Malaysian coffee after detecting erectile dysfunction drug. American Airlines passenger claims he saw a demon, swallows rosary beads, throws punches at crew. Men with pythons wanted for Tennessee gas station theft. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman tried to sell human toes vomited by dogs. Burnt genitals leads to man's $50 million win vs. Starbucks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 17 Mar 2025 22:05:00 +0000

Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those things'. Australian woman admits trying to sell human toes regurgitated by dogs. Jury awards $50m to man who injured his genitals with scalding-hot tea from Starbucks. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman attacks Floridaman with a Pringles can. Florida teacher arrested for making children fight.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 14 Mar 2025 21:38:24 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman set fire to a Tampa strip club and threw bottle of urine at a police officer. Florida substitute teacher accused of making children fight. Florida woman arrested for aggravated battery with a Pringles can. Can wild monkeys in Florida give people herpes? // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Funeral home employee cut off dead man's penis after learning he was a sex offender. Toilet cloggings cause Air India flight to turn back.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 13 Mar 2025 22:16:00 +0000

Air India Flight Turns Back After Passengers Flush Clothes and Blankets Down The Toilets, Clogging Them. Embalmer cut off dead man’s penis after learning he was a registered sex offender. An alarming number of people are mistaking nail glue for eyedrops. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Mrs. Soon Bang arrested for running a sex parlor. Mr. Weiner is naked when he steals cars and flees police.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 12 Mar 2025 22:03:00 +0000

Woman named Soon Bang charged with running a NJ sex parlor. State Police arrest a Mr. Weiner for fleeing crash while naked. Bigfoot could get official state status if California bill passes. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man is shot by his own dog while in bed with a woman. Man picks his nose, hits an artery, is hospitalized, wife laughs..

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 22:34:00 +0000

Man says his dog shot him while he was 'relaxing' with his female friend in bed. People in China Are Buying ‘Bank Soil’ for $120, Believing It Will Make Them Rich. Man Rushed to Surgery After Nose-Picking Habit Ruptures Artery. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man plays soccer with another man's decapitated head. Tourists in Dublin can't stop touching a statue's breasts.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 10 Mar 2025 21:51:44 +0000

Man convicted of murder for decapitating man and playing soccer with his head in New Mexico. Molly Malone statue in Dublin may be elevated to keep her out of reach of repeated breast groping. Citigroup Bank accidentally credits customer with $81 trillion instead of $280. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman stabs boyfriend for not eating her cooking. Floridaman swallows $770k worth of jewelry after arrest.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 7 Mar 2025 23:40:47 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida Woman Arrested for Stabbing Boyfriend After He Refused to Eat Her Cooking. Floridaman jewelry thief swallows $770K worth of Tiffany earrings just before arrest. Florida Man Calls 911 Asking for Help to 'Assassinate' Trump. Florida Officials Want to Rename Roads After Hit Songs. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Baby pigs left to starve to death as part of an art exhibit. Postal service will no longer deliver grandma's letters.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 6 Mar 2025 23:07:00 +0000

Denmark postal service to stop delivering letters. Piglets left to starve as part of a controversial art exhibition in Denmark have been stolen. Teleperformance Uses AI to Make Staff Sound Less Indian. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Funeral home's noodles are so good, diners pretend to be mourners. Movie theater has to pay mental agony damages for showing ads.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 5 Mar 2025 23:24:00 +0000

Chinese foodies pose as mourners to try funeral home's noodles. Tooth fairy payouts drop to lowest rate in years. Court forces movie theater chain to pay for ‘mental agony’ of too many ads. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man arrested for sex with subway seat a second time. Scientists create Woolly Mice instead of Woolly Mammoth.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 4 Mar 2025 23:40:00 +0000

Rising egg prices in the US spark chicken rental trend. Man charged second time with attempting sex act with Metrolink seat. Scientists aiming to bring back woolly mammoth create woolly mice. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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No Measles Parties, please. Says health official. Influencer spent $140k to turn herself into a robot.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 3 Mar 2025 23:10:00 +0000

Female influencer spent $140k to look like a robot. Texas official warns against “measles parties” as outbreak keeps growing. Michigan veterinarian faces theft charge after refusing to return homeless man's dog. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman bites deputy and police dog at a 7-11. Floridaman Games 2025: A celebration of athletic absurdity.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 28 Feb 2025 23:35:44 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested for DUI after crashing at the same intersection, at the same time, two nights in a row. Floridaman arrested for strange behavior with a Chucky doll outside a market. Floridaman passed out at a gas station, wakes up and bites deputy and dog. Floridaman Games returns for 2025. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Child bites referee's testicle so soccer game's canceled. Man allows fiance to electrocute him for 3 hours as a pre-marital pain test.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 27 Feb 2025 23:37:00 +0000

Man allows fiance to electrocute him for 3 hours as a pre-marital pain test. Couple forced to sit next to dead body on plane for 4 hours after woman dies mid-flight. German Soccer Match Gets Called Off After A Referee Got His Nuts Bitten By A Child. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Teacher sold "test enhancement" drugs to his students. Bird drops a severed human hand into a schoolyard.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 23:47:00 +0000

Chinese snow village apologises for using cotton wool to create fake snow. Bird Drops Severed Human Hand That May Have Belonged to a Child into a Schoolyard. Teacher returns to class after trying to sell 'test-enhancing pills' to students. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Thousands of kids accused of witchcraft in past decade. TikTookers drop heavy objects on their feet in new viral trend.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 22:29:19 +0000

TikTokers dropping heavy objects on feet in viral trend ‘risk lifetime of pain’. Nebraska father in limbo after daughter’s name incorrectly listed as 'Unakite Thirteen Hotel'.
Thousands of children in England falsely accused of witchcraft in past decade. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Crypto trader killed himself to create a coin. Canadian coffeeshop changes Americano to Canadiano.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 24 Feb 2025 23:30:58 +0000

Canadian coffee shop ditching the ‘Americano’ for the ‘Canadiano’ on its menu. Crypto trader kills himself on X live to create a meme coin. Man freed from prison after 30 years declares, "Everybody is on a phone". // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman attacks man with a garden hoe for not hanging out. Drunk Floridaman with no pants crashes into 7-11.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 21 Feb 2025 23:35:50 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman attacked a man with garden hoe after plans to 'hang out' fell through. Floridaman biker gang member threw explosives into a Jimmy John's sandwich shop. Jewish man mistakes two Israeli tourists for Palestinians and opens fire on them in Miami. Drunk Florida man hits a pole and sits outside of 7-Eleven with no pants. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Students lights his inflatable girlfriend on fire in the dorms. Restaurant owner puts a bounty on a negative reviewer.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 22:43:15 +0000

Student sets school on fire trying to hide “inflatable girlfriend” from roommate. New Startup Allows Users to Hire a Rent-a-Goon to Follow Them Around With a Gun. Japanese Ramen Shop Owner Puts Bounty on Negative Reviewer. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Porn dumpsters are leaving Japan. Court rules calling a man bald is sexual harassment.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 19 Feb 2025 22:58:58 +0000

High Court rules calling a man bald might be sexual harassment. Researchers discover ancient Egyptian mummies smell really nice. Japan’s ‘porn disposal’ boxes phased out amid rise of internet entertainment. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Launching drugs into a prison using a canon gets two arrested. Science studies why hockey players sound Canadian.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 23:11:00 +0000

Japanese man marries his classmate's mom and likes her pheromones. Scientists are trying to find out why all hockey players sounds Canadian. Two arrested for using a cannon to launch drugs into a prison. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Shark bites off both hands of a tourist during beach selfie. Bald men murdered for their gold heads?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 17 Feb 2025 23:17:00 +0000

Shark bites off tourist’s hands as she tries to take selfie on Caribbean beach. What Are the Enhanced Games? Don Jr. Latest to Invest in 'Steroid Olympics'. Mozambique police warn bald men after ritual attack. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman attacks with a dildo. Florida couple arrested for unnatural acts in Wendy's parking lot.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 14 Feb 2025 23:52:24 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida couple arrested days before Valentine's Day after performing 'unnatural' act in Wendy's parking lot. Florida man accused of punching woman in face over handicapped parking spot at church. Clearwater man accused of using his pet ferrets as bait to lure children. Florida Woman Arrested for Alleged Dildo Attack. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Should the US Treasury stop making pennies? Researchers find our ancestors ate the brains of their enemies.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 13 Feb 2025 22:54:20 +0000

Ancient Europeans ate the brains of their dead enemies 18,000 years ago, researchers discover. Australian restaurant owner told to censor her profanity-laced fortune cookies. President Trump tells the Treasury to stop minting new pennies immediately. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Blind man given permit to carry a gun in Indiana. Zoo in China sells tiger urine to treat sprains.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 12 Feb 2025 21:00:11 +0000

China zoo attracts attention by selling tiger urine to treat sprains and such. Hooters restaurant is invading this key British city. Blind man gets license to carry permit to make a point about Indiana gun laws. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Doctor gave his cat a Catscan and is in trouble for it. Denmark signs a petition to buy the state of California.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 23:50:00 +0000

Thousands of Danes sign petition to buy California from U.S. Doctor faces inquiry after giving his cat a Cat scan at Italian hospital he works at. Mystery as a baby shark is born without any male Involvement. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man arrested for drunk driving a drone. Zoo offers elephant pooping videos to send your ex on Valentine's Day.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 10 Feb 2025 22:57:51 +0000

Don't climb onto anything, Philadelphia mayor asks Eagles fans in Philadelphia before SuperBowl. Zoo Offers To Send Video Of Elephant Pooping To Your Ex For Valentine's Day. Man convicted of drunk-driving a drone in first case of its kind. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida teacher shows explicit pics of herself during show and tell. Floridaman barked like a dog inside an auto-parts store.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 7 Feb 2025 22:17:52 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested for barking like a dog in an auto-parts store for hours. Florida woman caught on camera throwing first date commemorative brick through ex-husband’s window. Floridaman arrested for touching himself in a mall restroom claims he had an itch. Florida substitute teachers show and tell in class goes terribly wrong. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Cocaine should be legal and sold like wine, says Columbian President. 13 yr old boy impersonates a doctor at a hospital.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 6 Feb 2025 23:29:00 +0000

Quebec officials ask public not to boo American peewee hockey players. Schoolboy, 13, arrested for impersonating doctor in UK hospital. Cocaine "no worse than whiskey," would be "sold like wine" if legalized worldwide, Colombia's president says. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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100,000 eggs stolen in the Great Egg Heist of 2025. Man shot his friend who claimed he could, "dodge" bullets.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 5 Feb 2025 21:55:37 +0000

100,000 eggs stolen from trailer in Pennsylvania as police try to crack the case. Man arrested in deadly shooting of friend who said he could dodge bullets. Indian woman forces husband to sell kidney and then runs away with her lover. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Priest flossed his teeth with teenage girl's hair. Furries warned not to act racist against other species at Furry Convention.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 4 Feb 2025 23:33:00 +0000

Vietnam Paying Citizens Up To $200 To Snitch On Bad Drivers. Furries warned not to abuse other ‘species’ at Glasgow Furry Convention. priest accused of flossing his teeth with teen girl’s hair. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman arrested for "Cyber Farting" at her partner's ex. Robot cockfighting proposed in Oklahoma.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 3 Feb 2025 23:39:00 +0000

Robot cockfighting is proposed in Oklahoma in order to re-invigorate the cockfighting tradition. Woman in court for aggressively cyber farting at her boyfriend’s ex. Tattoo Artist Criticized For Giving 9-Year-Old Girl An American Flag Tattoo. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida man sits on gun, shoots himself in penis. School principal hosts alcohol fueled party of 100 teens at her own home.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 31 Jan 2025 22:55:19 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida elementary school principal is arrested after 100 kids found at her home for alcohol-fueled party. Florida man sits on gun, shoots himself in penis. Florida man with ankle monitor tells deputies he can’t go to jail because he has a curfew. Florida deputy caught smuggling drugs onto cruise ship in Skittles bags. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Twerking on disabled person's head leads to healthcare worker arrest. Man trashes a DMV with fishes.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 30 Jan 2025 23:07:21 +0000

Man gets year in jail for throwing fish and carrots in the Dept of motor Vehicles. Georgia healthcare worker faces felony for twerking on disabled person’s head. Newly discovered asteroid turns out to be Tesla Roadster launched into space. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Contraception Begins at Erection Act proposed by lawmaker. Flood Museum closed due to flooding.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 29 Jan 2025 22:20:25 +0000

Robots to race humans at China half-marathon. Mississippi politician files ‘Contraception Begins at Erection Act. Pennsylvania flood museum temporarily closed due to flooding. //SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man's Bigfoot hunting expeditions used against him in court. Las Vegas ice cream truck mistaken for ICE vehicle.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Jan 2025 23:45:00 +0000

Canadian man's Bigfoot hunting expeditions used against him in court of law. Las Vegas ice cream truck mistaken for ICE vehicle. Passenger clings onto outside of 175mph German train when doors close on him while smoking cigarette. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Child goes blind from eating chicken nuggets. Mystery person drops off erotic novels in random mailboxes.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 27 Jan 2025 22:00:46 +0000

Elementary school student goes permanently blind after eating too many chicken nuggets in Malaysia. Man Gets Penis Stuck to Icy Sidewalk During Drunken Brawl in Canada. Random mailboxes have been stuffed with erotic romance novels in New Zealand community. //SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman exposed "abnormally large" testicles to a teen. Lady busted with drugs in bag labeled, "Def not a bag of drugs."

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 Jan 2025 23:39:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida Woman With Bag That Read 'Definitely Not A Bag Full Of Drugs' Arrested as Bag Was Indeed Full of Drugs. Florida man pardoned by Trump on Jan 6th charges gets arrested on gun charges the next day. Florida woman tells deputies she has marijuana hidden inside her body. Man with ‘Abnormally Large’ Testicles Arrested for Allegedly Exposing Genitals to Teen. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Drinkable mayonnaise launches in Japan. Cat makes three flights in 24 hours after being left on a plane.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 23 Jan 2025 21:06:31 +0000

Washington Capitals NHL hockey goalie says tossed nachos to blame for conceding goal. Japan launches drinkable mayo for fans that just can’t get enough. Cat makes three flights in 24 hours after being left on plane. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Viagra Honey floods France and police say it's dangerous. Penguins are getting divorced in record numbers.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 23:03:00 +0000

Warnings issued as dangerous Viagra Honey floods France. People smuggler facing jail time after woman found in glove box. Penguin Divorce Rates Soar On Phillip Island. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Adult film star offers LA firefighters some lovin' for their efforts. The Moon added to list of endangered cultural sites.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 23:31:00 +0000

Moon added to list of threatened cultural sites for first time. Campaign to not complain for 30 days launches in Netherlands. Adult Star Slammed For Offering LA Firefighters A Date Night For Their Heroic Efforts. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Lonely elderly women prefer jail than being outside in Japan. Aquarium cheers up lonely fish with cardboard humans.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 Jan 2025 21:22:12 +0000

Japanese aquarium cheers up lonely sunfish with cardboard cutouts of people. Survey finds 80% of Japanese want to take leftover restaurant food home but many aren't allowed. Japan’s elderly are lonely and some women choose to go to jail instead. //SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman tried to have sex with a horse's nose. Florida lady stabs her hubby with a bladed cane on his birthday.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 Jan 2025 23:09:23 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida man accused of pulling out gun during Facebook Marketplace sale. Florida Man Arrested For Allegedly Making Sexual Contact with Horse. Florida Lawmaker Files Bill to Designate American Flamingo as Official State Bird. Florida woman kills husband with 18-inch bladed cane on his birthday. // /SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman got a side marijuana with her fries at Burger King. Man stole three amputated legs from a hospital and one is still missing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 Jan 2025 22:01:54 +0000

Unidentified man stole three amputated legs from hospital and one is still missing. China basketball star suspended for sneaking girlfriend into room in suitcase. Woman says she got a side of marijuana with her chicken fries at Burger King. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Prosthetic penis pics get a soccer falconer fired. Pizzeria charges extra $125 for pineapple topping.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 15 Jan 2025 23:44:00 +0000

Starbucks new policy: Buy something or leave the cafe. Pizzeria charging whopping $125 per pineapple pie to deter customers from this controversial topping. Lazio falconer sacked for sharing explicit photos of his prosthetic penis. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Government warns sex toys are a target for hackers. Fake Brad Pitt gets woman to divorce her millionaire husband.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 23:06:39 +0000

Government warns that sex toys remain a tempting target for hackers. Record number of Japan ramen eateries closed in 2024.French woman who believed she was in a relationship with Brad Pitt scammed out of $800K. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Lady brings her sex toy into the MRI machine and horror ensues. Blind man shot his amputee body during eviction mission.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 13 Jan 2025 22:31:20 +0000

Dunkin Donuts has a doughnut shortage. Blind man accidentally shot his amputee friend while trying to evict his roommate. Woman suffers horrific injuries after sex toy is dragged up through her body during MRI. //SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman poops on Dollar Store floor while man steals cleaning products. Man claims alien abduction during nude carjacking.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 10 Jan 2025 23:42:42 +0000

A Florida man and his friend drank ayahuasca in an Airbnb. Then one tried to kill the other. Florida woman relieves herself on Family Dollar store floor as man steals $500 of cleaning products. Man claims alien abduction during alleged nude carjacking in Florida. Florida deputy resigns after crashing patrol vehicle while looking at porn. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Getting sick is a crime in this Italian village. Falafel and shawarma are #1 again!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 Jan 2025 22:43:39 +0000

Cryopreservation facility lets you put body on pause for centuries. Italian village forbids residents from becoming ill. Mediterranean diet ranked best overall diet. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man eaten alive after filming himself with lions to impress girlfriend. Belgium warns citizens not to eat their Christmas tree.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 Jan 2025 23:02:02 +0000

Airline passenger urinates on stranger midway through long-haul flight before begging him 'not to press charges'. Belgian food agency warns citizens to not eat their Christmas tree. Zookeeper eaten alive after filming himself with lions to impress girlfriend. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Hot dogs have been banned in North Korea. Windows are banned in Afghanistan. And I say, ban the bans!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 Jan 2025 23:08:51 +0000

Taliban Ban Windows To Stop Women Being Seen Inside Homes. Drunk driver arrested after telling officer he was 'the DUI tonight' instead of the "DD". Kim Jong-un bans hotdogs for North Koreans, cooking them an act of treason. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Drunken officer freed prisoners to celebrate New Year. Teen poisoned her rival’s competition show goat.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 6 Jan 2025 23:24:38 +0000

Drunken officer freed suspects to celebrate New Year. Arizona prisoner is asking to be executed sooner than the state wants. Texas teenager accused of using poison to kill rival’s competition show goat. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman with "Alone" face tattoo commits some crimes alone. Florida is building roads using radioactive waste.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 3 Jan 2025 23:26:59 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman with ‘Alone’ face tattoo arrested for doing crimes alone. Floridaman shoots up home with pump action shotgun after getting kicked out for groping woman. Floridaman serial dine-and-dasher arrested after third offense. Florida Is Debuting a New Material for Building Roads. There’s Just One Problem: It’s Radioactive. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Best of Weird News 2024 - Part 2

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 2 Jan 2025 20:36:36 +0000

Best of Weird AF News 2024 wrap, part 2. Cop dresses as a “Sex Wrestler” to catch a pervert. Man wearing kilt puts antiques up his rectum. Toe-licking fundraiser event at a school. Town asks mayor to stop the solar eclipse. Judge rules tacos and burritos are sandwiches. Porn takes over Amazon tribe after they finally get internet. Man had sex with a train seat. Stripper, emotional support monkey and a football coach. And more... // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Best of Weird News 2024 - Part 1

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 1 Jan 2025 21:58:23 +0000

Best of Weird AF News 2024 wrap, part 1. Amish horse and buggy stolen from Walmart parking lot. Floridaman believes in right to shoot crack bears. Pastor sold meth out of his church. Singer dosed bandmate with estrogen to steal his girlfriend. Lady with two vaginas and boyfriend for each. Town asks mayor to stop the solar eclipse. Florida woman claims god told her to shoot up highway during solar eclipse. Meth induced Bigfoot sacrifice leads to murder of fishing buddy. Man broke into home to perform exorcism on former coworker. Chinese zoo admits pandas are painted dogs. And more... // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Baby bird found alive in dead man's stomach after fertility ritual. Mexico town thanks the drug cartel for holiday gifts.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 23:00:11 +0000

Mexico to investigate a town that thanked a drug lord for holiday season gifts for children. Germany’s ‘sick leave detectives’ are on the case as employee absenteeism hits record highs . Baby Bird Found Alive Inside Dead Man's Stomach After Being Swallowed During Fertility Ritual. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man poured whiskey into the holy water during Christmas Church Mass. Two men died in a forest looking for Sasquatch.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 30 Dec 2024 22:55:55 +0000

Two Oregon men die from exposure in a forest after they went out to look for Sasquatch on Christmas eve. Man charged after pouring whiskey into holy water during Christmas Eve church mass. Man arrested after exposing his genitals to a life insurance agent. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida pizza delivery woman stabs customer over bad tip. Florida woman takes revenge on her ex boyfriend's bong.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 Dec 2024 22:34:59 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman arrested after breaking into ex-boyfriend's home and smashing his $600 bong. Florida woman accidentally fires unfamiliar gun at the airport. Monkeys spotted roaming Florida city as police issue warning. Florida pizza delivery woman stabbed a pregnant customer 14 times over bad tip. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Lady arrested for practicing unlicensed dentistry out of her kitchen. Amazon driver leaves 80 holiday packages in woods.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 Dec 2024 00:18:03 +0000

Millions of Families in Japan Order KFC for Christmas Every Year. Amazon driver abandons 80 packages in Mass. woods during holiday shipping rush. Long Island woman charged with allegedly practicing unlicensed dentistry out of apartment kitchen. //SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Secret Chinese police station discovered in New York City. Scientists discover our ancestors: Giant Head People.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 24 Dec 2024 23:04:17 +0000

US man arrested for running a secret Chinese police station in New York City. Man drove through the gate of a military base to "see the reaction of security". Scientists may have discovered a new form of ancient humans known as 'large head people'. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Emotional support Great Dane brought on plane. Killer caught dumping dead body on Google Maps Streetview.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 23 Dec 2024 23:24:16 +0000

Killer captured by Google Maps while moving dismembered body to his car. UK woman left with Italian accent following a stroke. Passenger angers fellow flyers for bringing gigantic emotional support Great Dane dog onto flight. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Meth smoking Floridaman attacks his mattress in a jealous rage. Man arrested after getting 'a little naked' in a Lyft.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Dec 2024 22:19:37 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman exposes himself in public after asking woman to take his picture. Floridaman arrested after getting 'a little naked' in a Lyft. Pornhub will block access for Floridians on Jan. 1st. Meth smoking Florida man attacks mattress in jealous rage. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Sex workers in Zimbabwe use baby socks during condom shortage. Ten Commandments tablet is up for auction.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 19 Dec 2024 23:08:55 +0000

Ohio funeral home to be first to operate with a liquor license. Sotheby's to auction off ancient Ten Commandments tablet. Sex Workers in Zimbabwe Turn to Baby Socks as Condom Shortage Deepens. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Hunter dies when a bear falls from a tree and lands on him. Police officer shoots himself to impress his girlfriend.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 18 Dec 2024 21:18:31 +0000

Virginia hunter is killed by bear falling from tree during bizarre hunting accident. Memphis police officer shoots himself in order to impress his girlfriend. New York men die from pneumonia after using bat poop to grow marijuana. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Don't eat the brown snow, one city warns residents. Russia sends elite super goats to N. Korea.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 17 Dec 2024 22:43:23 +0000

British pub owners are worried they’ll run out of Guinness this Holiday. Brown snow falls over Maine town and warning to the citizens: don't eat that. Russia Sends 100 'Elite Goats' to North Korea. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Cop dresses as a "Sex Wrestler" to catch a pervert. Demon stripper stabs the DJ, nearly killing him.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 16 Dec 2024 22:39:12 +0000

Cop dresses as ‘sex wrestler’ undercover to trap suspect. Mystery Drones Forced New York Airport to Shut Down. Portland DJ hospitalized after being stabbed by stripper. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Did you buy crack from the Florida police in the 90's? Floridaman slaps his girlfriend in the face with a cheeseburger.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 13 Dec 2024 22:24:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman goes crazy for not getting sauce in Raising Cane's restaurant. Florida woman caught with a golden gun at Australian airport. Florida county police erase convictions for anyone that bought their crack in the 90's. Floridaman arrested for slapping his girlfriend in the face with a cheeseburger. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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More Texas Vs. Sex Toys on the way. Whale swims 8,106 miles for some booty.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 12 Dec 2024 22:52:28 +0000

Scientists Create Lickable VR Device That Lets You Taste Foods Through Your TV. Love-struck male humpback whale swims record-breaking 3 oceans, 8,106 miles for sex. Proposed law bans drugstore sex toy sales in Texas. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Police find garden gnome made entirely of MDMA. Italian nun arrested for working with the mafia.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 11 Dec 2024 23:29:19 +0000

Police find 2 kilogram garden gnome made entirely of MDMA. Italian nun arrested over links to powerful mafia network. Drinking Coffee Can Add Years to Your Lifespan. //SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Offensive term "offender" replaced with "justice impacted individual". AI Jesus is taking confessionals.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 10 Dec 2024 23:56:02 +0000

AI-generated version of Jesus Christ in church confessional booth draws controversy. Miller High Life releases dive bar cologne — and it’s already selling out. New Illinois law replaces the term ‘offender’ with ‘justice impacted individuals’ in Illinois Crime Reduction Act. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Pet crocodile dies after thrown into snow during an argument about anime. Barbarians took drugs with a spoon before battle.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 9 Dec 2024 22:59:00 +0000

Shoplifter arrested for shoplifting during Walmart's Shop with a Cop holiday event. Pet crocodile dies after being tossed into Alaska snow during argument between brothers over anime. Ancient Barbarians Took Drugs Before Battle, Sniffing Spoons Suggest. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Naked Floridaman with pot and sex toys in a school on Thanksgiving. Floridaman shoots neighbor over loud music.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 6 Dec 2024 22:40:24 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Naked Floridaman had sex toys, pot at elementary school on Thanksgiving. Floridaman Shoots Neighbor on Thanksgiving in Music Dispute. Florida Woman being transported to hospital jumps out of ambulance while wearing scrubs and vanishes. Florida Introduces Bill to Ban 'Weather Modification'. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Spanking women with a cow horn is part of a German holiday festival. Singer of YMCA song denies it's a gay anthem.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 5 Dec 2024 23:20:53 +0000

Grandma Stabs Family During Thanksgiving Day Argument. German island to end ritual of spanking women with cow horn. Village People Singer denies song, Y.M.C.A., is a Gay Anthem and threatens to sue if you say so. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Sex workers in Belgium get benefits and a pension. Orcas are wearing dead salmon as hats but why?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 4 Dec 2024 23:13:13 +0000

A new Belgium law gives sex workers contracts, benefits and safety protection. Man jumps out of roller coaster so he doesn't die in that roller coaster. Scientists baffled as orcas seem to revive an 80s trend: dead salmon hats. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Meth-soaked cow onesie on a flight leads to arrest of a smuggler. Mother arrested after child walks a mile from home.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 3 Dec 2024 23:01:58 +0000

Man arrested after trying to smuggle meth-soaked cow onesie on flight to Australia. Georgia mother arrested after child walks less than a mile from their home. Luxury cruise line passengers set for Antarctica have gone on a hunger strike over engine failure. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Cocaine and chickens shut down a Wisconsin bar. Man sends sexy livestreamer $500k to call him "bro".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 2 Dec 2024 23:18:03 +0000

Wisconsin bar shut down after chickens and cocaine found inside. Pastor fights off axe-wielding man attempting to burglarize church on Thanksgiving. Chinese man sends $550K & family’s life savings to streamer so she’d call him “bro”. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman knocks out roommate with a chair in dispute over feeding cats. Florida mom McShoots Florida daughter.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 30 Nov 2024 01:53:49 +0000

FLORIDA FIRDAY - Floridaman uses chair to knock out roommate in dispute over feeding cats. Florida TikTok influencer recorded herself shoplifting from Target and posted it. Florida mom McShoots her Florida daughter. Florida man survives killer bee attack while trimming trees. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Drug dealers market "Woke Coke" as ethically sourced. Man discovers his wife is actually a cross-dressing man.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 27 Nov 2024 21:09:09 +0000

'Woke coke': Drug dealers marketing 'ethically sourced' cocaine. Indonesian Man Discovers Wife, Whom He Married After A Year, Is A Cross-Dressing Man. Colorado school bus driver dismissed after leaving 40 kids at wrong stop in freezing temperatures. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Mad scientists create the world's thinnest spaghetti but not to eat. Italian village offers $1 homes to sad Americans.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 21:39:41 +0000

Scientists have created the world's thinnest spaghetti but it's not for eating. South Korean soldier convicted of dodging draft by binge eating. Italian village offers $1 homes to Americans upset by the US election result. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Idiot buys banana duct taped to a wall for $6million to eat it. Smuggler arrested with over 300 tarantulas taped to his belly.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 25 Nov 2024 22:57:00 +0000

Indian man awakes on funeral pyre after doctors declared him totally dead but he totally wasn't. Crypto Bro dummy who spent $6.2 million on banana duct-taped to wall says he's going to eat it. Smuggler arrested with 320 tarantulas and 110 centipedes strapped to his body like a maniac. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman squirts mystery liquid on girls' butts at Ross Dress For Less. Man arrested for assaulting wife with spaghetti

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 22 Nov 2024 20:56:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested after throwing spaghetti at his wife. Florida woman threatens entire family with a pink taser. Florida husband arrested after ‘Bible thumper’ wife pours out his rum. Syringe-wielding Florida man arrested for spraying mystery liquid on girls' butts at Ross discount store. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman kidnaps boy, then abandons him after discovering his religion. Fisherman in Norway catches a US submarine.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 22 Nov 2024 04:29:00 +0000

Drug Dealers Busted After Forgetting Big Bag of 'Special K' on Train, Asked Station Staff for Help Tracking It Down. Woman abducts boy then abandons him after discovering his religion. Norwegian fisherman accidentally caught a US submarine in his nets. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Tourists fighting as gladiators in the Colosseum angers Romans. AI chatbot has a message for the humans, "Please die".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 21 Nov 2024 04:24:00 +0000

Tourists will dress up and ‘fight’ at the Colosseum – and Romans are furious. Google AI chatbot responds with a threatening message: "Human … Please die." Don’t sit on the toilet for more than 10 minutes, doctors warn. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Family strangles brother with a rope for bringing home chicken. Cigarette smuggler crosses a river disguised as a water plant.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 19 Nov 2024 22:39:00 +0000

Indian Man Killed By His Brothers For Bringing Chicken Home to a Party. 24 hour pizza vending machines debut in Michigan but is it tasty? Cigarette Smuggler Caught Trying to Cross River Disguised as a Water Plant. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Men attack luxury cars in a bear costume for fake insurance scam. Australians asked to track their farts for science.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 18 Nov 2024 22:33:00 +0000

Texas medical school ordered to stop liquefying bodies after using them for training. Person dressed in a bear costume to fake attacks on cars for insurance payout. Australians asked to chart their farts by government for research. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Human head found on a popular Florida beach. Floridaman stabs brother in neck for talking over his food.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 15 Nov 2024 22:53:08 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman stabs brother in the neck for talking over the stove while cooking. Human head is found on a Florida beach. Floridaman commited lewd acts underneath elderly woman's home. Spirit Airlines flight from Fort Lauderdale to Haiti diverted to Dominican Republic after being struck by gunfire. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Ban on women marrying after 25 and other weird Japan proposals. Police officer suspended after throwing away victim's skull.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 22:56:31 +0000

Lunchables removed from U.S. national school lunch program for lead and cadmium content. Police officer suspended 15 days for throwing away piece of victim’s skull in Quebec. Ban on women marrying after 25: The bizarre proposal to boost birth rate in Japan. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man declares himself Jesus and then beats up seven monks. Rage room bookings increase following Trump victory.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 13 Nov 2024 22:10:29 +0000

Man declares himself to be Jesus and beats up seven monks at a monastery in Spain in religious rampage. German butcher sells racoon sausages in bid combat their overpopulation. Trump's election results prompt a wave of rage room bookings as people deal with their stress. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Wicked dolls mistakenly list adult film website on the box. Pope Francis keeps tweeting about the Saints NFL team accidentally.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 12 Nov 2024 22:53:23 +0000

Pope Francis keeps accidentally tweeting about the New Orleans Saints NFL football team. Vancouver couple sues Irish nanny for quitting and not saying bye to the kids. Mattel’s Wicked Dolls Mistakenly List Adult Film Website on Packaging. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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North Korean troops get internet and can't stop touching themselves. 43 monkeys escaped a lab and I know where this leads.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 11 Nov 2024 23:20:00 +0000

North Korean troops have been allowed access to the internet and they're addicted to porn. Dingo Dinkelman, known as 'South Africa's Steve Irwin,' dies of snake bite at 44. Residents warned after 43 monkeys escape research facility known as "Monkey Island" in South Carolina. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman wanted sex on the beach, instead attacked with a hatchet. Floridaman arrested for punching a police horse.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 8 Nov 2024 23:30:15 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida man bitten twice by shark at same beach over a decade apart. Floridaman arrested for punching a police horse. Floridaman Faces Charges After Placing Explosives in Casino Toilet. Floridaman expecting to be tied up to have sex with young woman on the beach, instead is attacked with a hatchet instead. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Hackers demand French company pay ransom of $125k in baguettes. New home owner finds skeleton of old homeowner dead 15 years.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 7 Nov 2024 22:56:31 +0000

Owners of new home find skeleton of the previous owner dead 15 years in the attic. Number of high school boys in Japan who have had first kiss falls to 1970s levels. Hackers demand French Electric Company pay a $125k ransom in baguettes. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Naked drunk tourist covered in poo falls from balcony in Thailand. Ambulance runs over cyclist then bills him for services.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 6 Nov 2024 22:56:19 +0000

Ambulance hits Oregon cyclist, rushes him to hospital, then sticks him with $1,800 bill. Fireball whiskey co. plans to collect heartbroken football fans’ tears for new whiskey. Naked drunnk British tourist falls from balcony in Thailand covered in poo. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Famous squirrel seized and killed by local government. Oregon has sexy bats that win beauty contents regularly.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 5 Nov 2024 22:45:01 +0000

NYC private school will let 'distressed' students skip day after election. Social media famous squirrel seized in raid after anonymous complaints. Oregon bats win annual bat beauty contest three years in a row. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Cannabis joints given out during Halloween trick or treat. Thousands attend a fake invented Halloween parade.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 4 Nov 2024 23:28:00 +0000

Thousands attend a fake invented Halloween parade in Dublin. Pre-rolled cannabis joints found in kids Halloween treats in Nova Scotia. Dangerously cold ice cream sandwich leads to lawsuit against airline. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman church burglar searched 'Where do church keep money'. Teen wields machete at elderly Democrats at polls.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 1 Nov 2024 21:58:45 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman Trump supporter threatens elderly Democrats with machete at the polls. Drunk Floridaman Arrested at Walt Disney World Had to be Carted Off in a Spit Mask. Also what's a spit mask? Floridaman Breaks Into Mark Zuckerberg's Yacht, Starts Throwing Stuff into the Water. Floridaman church burglar searched 'Where do church keep money'. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Fire chief apologizes after Halloween party with KKK costumes. Hindu priest claimed could fly, dies falling off a mountain.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 31 Oct 2024 22:24:00 +0000

Fire chief apologizes after group attended Halloween party dressed in KKK costumes. In a first since 1938, Des Moines, Iowa, kids will trick-or-treat on Halloween night. Hindu priest claimed he could fly, died after falling from top of mountain. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Women in China get calls from government asking if they pregnant. Vatican has a new anime girl mascot.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 30 Oct 2024 22:14:08 +0000

The Vatican unveils official anime girl mascot named Luce. Woman dies after backing into airplane propeller while taking pictures. Women in China get phone calls from government workers asking: 'Are you pregnant now?'. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Snoop Dogg has a cannabis referee so you don't get too high. Farmer hog-ties two trespassers and drives them to police.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 29 Oct 2024 21:57:53 +0000

Farmer arrested after reportedly 'hog-tying' two men on quad bike. Snoop Dogg Confirms He Has A Staffer Who Makes Sure People He’s Smoking Marijuana With Don’t Get Too High. Man Complaining of Indigestion Had Live Cockroach in His Intestines. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Pizzeria serves marijuana laced pies by mistake. Thieves steal 22 tons of cheese and that's no gouda!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 22:12:00 +0000

Pizzeria served marijuana laced pies leading to high, hospitalized customers. Employee's homemade meal blamed for mass food poisoning at work. Fraudsters steal 22 tons of artisan cheddar cheese. //SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman pulls a machete on son for forgetting his birthday. Man tried to cut off and eat a guy's toes for concert tickets.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 25 Oct 2024 22:15:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman Confronts Son with a Machete for Forgetting His Birthday. Floridaman car dealer carjacks one of his own customers. Lieutenant Dan, the Floridaman, who gained fame riding out the hurricanes on a boat, is arrested. Florida Man Tries To Cut Off and Eat a Karate Teacher’s Toes For Concert Tickets. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Oral sex leads to throat cancer. French Bulldog dies on a plane because owner is a dummy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 24 Oct 2024 22:05:39 +0000

Oral sex is now the leading risk factor for throat cancer. French bulldog dies on Alaska Airlines flight after being moved from first class to coach. Goldfish crackers change their name to Chilean Sea Bass...crackers? // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man born with three penises in rare medical miracle. Police bust pizzeria with cocaine on the menu.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 22 Oct 2024 22:07:56 +0000

Medical students stumble upon a rare case of man born with three penises. New Zealand airport limits drop-off hugs to 3 minutes. German police bust pizzeria with cocaine on the menu. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman in a bull onesie tried to burn down ex's home with pasta sauce. Lady escapes rehab, steals car, runs a man over twice.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 18 Oct 2024 19:59:32 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman escapes involuntary drug rehab, steals man’s car and runs him over twice. Floridians beg Publix to bring back the Hurricane Cakes following hurricane disasters. Floridaman confesses to his Uber driver that he was on the way to burn down his friend's trailer home. Floridaman dressed in a bull onesie tried to burn down ex-lover's home with pasta sauce. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Restaurant sorry for serving Nazi soldier actors. Court rules calling a man bald is sexual harassment

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 17 Oct 2024 22:24:00 +0000

Aquarium in China admits their whale shark is actually a robot. Restaurant target of threats after serving reenactors dressed as Nazi soldiers. Court rules calling a man bald could be sexual harassment. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Crowd treated for nausea after opera with live sex and piercing. Cop calls cops after Burger King screws up order.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 16 Oct 2024 22:33:00 +0000

Sheriff called deputies for help after Burger King got his order wrong. New mayor takes office in southern Mexico after his predecessor was beheaded. 18 spectators treated for severe nausea in Stuttgart after opera of live sex and piercing. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman smuggles turtles into Canada in a kayak. Majority of American houses are haunted according to survey.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 15 Oct 2024 22:03:00 +0000

Woman pleads guilty to trying to smuggle 29 turtles across a Vermont lake into Canada by kayak. Woman known for casting spells arrested by cops who find cooked human body parts in her home. Majority of American houses are haunted according to a survey of homeowners. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Robot vacuums yell racial slurs at families after being hacked. Breakdancers risk getting Headspin Hole says doctors.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 14 Oct 2024 22:00:00 +0000

Breakdancers at risk for headspin hole according to doctors. Robot vacuum yells racial slur at family after being hacked. 9-year-old runs over father who was teaching him to drive. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman with no legs refused to leave boat during hurricane. Meteorologists receive death threats over weather.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 11 Oct 2024 21:56:35 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida man who strapped his entire house down ahead of Hurricane Milton becomes internet sensation. Meteorologists Get Death Threats as Hurricane Milton Conspiracy Theories Thrive. Tampa man refused to leave sailboat during Hurricane Milton and somehow survived. Florida Sees Spike in People Quitting Their Jobs. Bonus Segment: Woman Attacks Husband in a Jealous Rage After TV Actress Resembles his Former Fling. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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The bag that read, Definitely Not a Bag of Drugs, contained drugs. Spirit Halloween opening Spirit Christmas stores.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 10 Oct 2024 22:03:32 +0000

Police in Oregon seize bag labeled, Definitely not a bag full of drugs, printed on it and guess what? Full of drugs! Passengers horrified after airline plays explicit movie on every screen. Spirit Halloween is opening Spirit Christmas stores this holiday season. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Burglar broke into a home and did household chores for the victim. Earth has a new mini moon friend.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 9 Oct 2024 22:17:48 +0000

The Earth has captured a second mini moon as a friend. Beer can trash artwork accidentally thrown in the trash by maintenance at a Dutch museum. Burglar jailed after breaking into home and doing household chores for victim. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Angry wife ate dead husband's ashes. Stolen sausages lead to a nursing home stabbing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 8 Oct 2024 21:59:00 +0000

Scorned wife reveals she ate dead husband’s ashes. Stolen Vienna Sausages lead to GA nursing home resident being stabbed in the chest. Washington woman calls authorities after finding over 100 raccoons outside her home demanding food. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Need an AI Wingman for your gay dating app? Man steals ambulance to drive to court for stolen car charges.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 7 Oct 2024 21:55:19 +0000

Court Says Man Can't Be Charged with Drunk Driving Because He Chugged Entire Bottle After Getting Pulled Over. Grindr aims to build the dating world’s first AI ‘wingman’. US man accused of stealing ambulance to drive to stolen-car court hearing. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman bites genitals of police officer following crash. Florida date ends when she throws steak knives.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 4 Oct 2024 22:10:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida law bans homeless people from sleeping outside. Floridaman arrested for sleeping on Walmart roof with his trusty gun. Florida woman throws steak knives at man after leaving her at a bar. Drunk Florida woman grabs trooper's genitals and bites his leg following crash. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Fat Bear Week delayed after fat bear contestant kills rival bear. Held hostage? IRS wants those late fees paid while captured.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 3 Oct 2024 22:24:40 +0000

Fat Bear Week delayed after a large bear kills a rival bear. Graves could be reused under proposals to tackle lack of space for the dead. Held Hostage Overseas? The IRS Wants Your Back Taxes. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Super Sheep cloner gets prison time for playing God. The infamous "Piss Bandit" is now a documentary.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 2 Oct 2024 22:14:51 +0000

Montana man gets 6 months in prison for cloning giant sheep and breeding it. "Piss Bandit" of Pasadena been leaving bottles of urine since 2022. DMV won’t require California drivers over 70 to take written tests for license renewals. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Get more cash for your sperm, there's a shortage in UK. Slapping heads for sport causes concussions.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 1 Oct 2024 22:11:29 +0000

Sperm donor compensation increases as UK faces donation shortages. Belgian priest arrested after deadly night of sex and drugs with British cleric. Concussion warning over face-slap fighting extreme sport. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man amputates own penis with an axe after consuming mushrooms. Saudi's welcome LGBTQ+ for World Cup despite death penalties.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 30 Sep 2024 22:34:50 +0000

Man amputates his own penis with an axe after consuming psilocybin mushrooms. Border Patrol intercepts 700 pounds of bologna. Saudi World Cup chief claims LGBTQ+ football fans welcome despite a death penalty. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman shot over jukebox song dispute. Floridaman nearly died getting lap dance from his housekeeper.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 Sep 2024 21:58:59 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida Man Almost Died While Getting A Lap Dance From His Housekeeper. World’s first underwater cemetery is off this Florida beach. Ron DeSantis bans Florida’s sex ed classes from mentioning anatomy. Florida man shot dead when dispute over jukebox song selection turns violent. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Landlord bulldozed a house with tenant still inside. Cocaine Bananas have arrived and they're delicious.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 22:02:39 +0000

Landlord Accused of Drunkenly Bulldozing House With Tenants Inside. Man tossed beloved chicken to feed a hungry alligator at wildlife park. German supermarket finds $7M worth of cocaine in the bananas. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Fake Brad Pitt promises lonely women romance for their money. Animal parts falling from the sky?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 21:55:18 +0000

Plane flies for nine hours but lands back at same airport it took off from. Fake Brad Pitt Scams Two Women In Spain Of 325,000 Euros. Animal parts falling from the sky have one B.C. community fed up. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Costco apartments are coming to Los Angeles. Arrests made after woman uses the suicide pod in Switzerland.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 24 Sep 2024 21:59:44 +0000

The first-ever Costco with apartments is officially in the works. Japanese cat island reveals all its cats will soon be gone. Multiple arrests after US woman uses machine-assisted suicide in Switzerland. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Chinese zoo admits the pandas are painted dogs. Man died after stabbing himself trying to separate frozen burgers.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 23 Sep 2024 21:52:49 +0000

Chinese Zoo Admits Pandas Are Painted Dogs After Outrage. Boy abducted from California at age 6 found alive more than 70 years later. Man died after accidentally stabbing himself while trying to separate two frozen burger patties. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida man arrested for keeping 2 alligators in his pool. "Philadelphia Flasher" arrested for flashing his stuff in Florida.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Sep 2024 22:00:48 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Father chases Floridaman with a bat and a beer for peeping in on his daughter. Florida sheriff fed up with school shooting hoaxes posts boy's mugshot to social media. "Philadelphia Flasher" caught flashing his thing in Florida. Florida man arrested for keeping 2 alligators in his backyard pool. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Russia suggests making babies on your lunch break. Piano teacher tried to sever a penis after sex refusals.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 19 Sep 2024 22:11:34 +0000

Russians Told To Make Babies During Work Breaks to Help Birth Rate. Eating grasshoppers might improve your sleep, hair, and libido. Piano teacher poured bleach on partner and tried to sever his penis after being refused sex. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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8 year old girl stole car, drove to Target to shop. Nashville man missing half his head spotted walking around.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 18 Sep 2024 22:30:22 +0000

Iceland Encourages Locals To Throw Baby Puffins Off Cliffs. Nashville Residents Desperately Seek Help For Man Missing Half His Head Walking Around. 8-year-old Ohio girl drove to Target, went shopping. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Mammals can breathe through their butts, scientists find. Carnival Cruise smashed into an iceberg.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 22:03:00 +0000

Scientists just discovered mammals can breathe through their butts. Carnival Cruise Ship Smashes Into an Iceberg in Alaska. Why Gen Z are buying flip-phones, aka, “dumbphones”. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Lady divorces an airplane after 10 years. Military called in to protect doctors from patient attacks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 16 Sep 2024 22:08:26 +0000

Call for army to protect Italian hospital staff after several attacks. Canadian Army says new military sleeping bags not suitable Canadian winter. German Woman Ends 10-Year Relationship with Airplane. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman shot a crack bear to save his puppy. Florida doc mistakenly removes patient liver instead of spleen.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 13 Sep 2024 22:23:58 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida Man Found Out Passed Out In Turn Lane After 25 Beers. Florida man shoots, kills bear to protect his puppy. Florida surgeon mistakenly removes patient's liver instead of spleen. Floridaman shot a man in the buttocks and chased another man around a Waffle House with a screwdriver. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man gets sexy with a cucumber on a lady's car. Jon Bon Jovi talks a suicidal woman off a bridge.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 22:29:15 +0000

Jon Bon Jovi Convinces Woman Not to Jump Off Bridge in Nashville. Man wanted for sex act with cucumber in Northwest DC. Japanese scientist develops treatment that can help cats live up to 30 years. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man puts 2-foot eel in his bum and it doesn't go well. Navy officer brought internet on ship to check her social media.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 11 Sep 2024 22:23:50 +0000

Navy officer demoted for secretly installing internet on warship to check social media. Anger grows over topless medical exams of young girls in Japan schools. Man gets emergency surgery after sticking 2-foot eel up his butt. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Peru confiscates hundreds of horny frogs. China warns: watch out for sexy people turning you into spy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 10 Sep 2024 21:58:53 +0000

Peru confiscates hundreds of frogs used as aphrodisiacs. Spanish supermarket shoppers using pineapples to search for love in surprising new craze. China warns students against ‘beautiful women’ and ‘handsome guys’ who might turn them into spies. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman lights fires to flirt with firefighters. Drunk lady stole a coffin with a body inside.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 9 Sep 2024 21:59:00 +0000

Cat makes surprise return home four days after being cremated. Drunk Las Vegas Woman Stole Coffin with Body from Funeral Home. Woman Set Fires in Greece to Watch Firefighters and Flirt. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Machete-wielding Floridaman! (Clothing Optional)

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 6 Sep 2024 22:11:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Machete-wielding naked Floridaman attacked mailboxes in southwest Florida. Machete-wielding Floridaman vandalizes mosque, leaves bacon at door. Florida woman brings two machetes to an axe-throwing bar. Machete-wielding Florida maintenance man accused of threatening pickleball players. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Lonely dolphin keeps hitting on Japanese swimmers. AI classrooms without teachers open in London.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 5 Sep 2024 22:02:30 +0000

Claw machine games are Rio de Janeiro’s new public enemy. The first teacherless AI classroom set to open in London. Lonely dolphin may be behind series of attacks on swimmers in Japan. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Witch doctor arrested for not resurrecting a dead person. 1 in 3 vegetarians eat meat when drunk.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 4 Sep 2024 22:19:56 +0000

Witch doctor under house arrest for failing to “resurrect” dead person. 1 in 3 vegetarians admits to eating meat when drunk. Workers in Japan can’t quit their jobs. They hire resignation experts to help. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Husband spikes wife's Coke with cocaine hoping to marry her daughter. Employee found dead at her desk after 4 days.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 3 Sep 2024 22:11:15 +0000

Wells Fargo Bank employee found dead in her cubicle 4 days after last scanning into work. South Korea district offers 1 million won just for starting romantic relationship. Husband admits adding cocaine, MDMA to wife's Cokes in hopes he would marry her daughter. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida lady has lesbian threesome in public pool in front of kids. Man wields machete and demands people buy his meth.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 30 Aug 2024 21:45:32 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman pulled out a gun when she was denied dog adoption. Florida woman walked around outside naked during neighbor's birthday party. Floridaman wields machete and demands people buy his meth at the mall. Florida Woman Arrested After Lesbian Threesome In Public Pool. *See video - https://youtu.be/Ij7p2XFDx6E?si=cDMQ3AbrNuCfBMB0 // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Worker left for dead during wilderness office retreat. Fighting sexual urges? Try badminton, kids.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 29 Aug 2024 22:06:43 +0000

Coworkers left office worker alone on a mountain during hiking employee retreat. French opens up naturist exhibition to nude visitors. Fighting sexual temptation? Play badminton, Hong Kong tells teenagers. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman is allergic to her own period. Fake police officer fools the police force for years.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 28 Aug 2024 22:50:25 +0000

Woman learns she is allergic to her own period. Romanian infiltrates the police force and works as an officer for over a year. Taliban bans women from singing and reading in public. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Doctor let teenage daughter drill hole in patient's skull. Rock band fakes farewell tour to see tickets.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 27 Aug 2024 22:29:20 +0000

Austrian surgeon let his teenage daughter drill hole in patient's skull' Companies in China suspend work for employees to play new video game, Black Myth: Wukong. Legendary rock band faked farewell tour to sell more tickets. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Chick-fil-A launches Chicken TV. World's oldest man says the secret is fried food and luck.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 26 Aug 2024 22:02:39 +0000

Chick-fil-A plans to launch streaming service with original shows. Late French film star Alain Delon wanted his dog buried with him. World's oldest man says 'it's just luck and fried food' as he celebrates 112th birthday. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida doctor ignores screaming patients. Bloody Floridaman refuses to leave a plane.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 23 Aug 2024 22:42:17 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman bleeding after hair transplant arrested for refusing to leave plane. Florida’s official tourism site removes ‘LGBTQ Travel’ section. Floridaman jailed for impersonating a pizzeria and delivering disgusting pies. Floridaman doctor couldn't hear colonoscopy patient scream because he wasn't wearing hearing aids. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Dead woman still has to pay rent. Football team will wear QR codes for in-game tipping.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 22 Aug 2024 22:04:27 +0000

Hackers may have stolen the Social Security numbers of every American. College football team will wear QR codes for in-game tipping. Apartment complex bills woman who died $15,000 for breaking her lease. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Horse is elected mayor of a US town. Woman performed lewd act with a trout.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 21 Aug 2024 22:50:02 +0000

Man in hospital after being slapped in the face by a whale’s tail . Woman who was filmed performing a sex act with a trout faces court. In This Michigan Town, the Mayor Was a Dog. Now, They’ve Elected a Horse. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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So sorry we lost your skull, sir! Flights canceled over dangerous missing scissors.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 20 Aug 2024 23:00:54 +0000

Flights cancelled in Japan after scissors go missing. Woman admits being part of monkey torture network. Couple sues Atlanta hospital for allegedly losing part of patient's skull following brain surgery. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman runs over boyfriend with car on their way to couples therapy. Man shot his father over smelly feet.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 19 Aug 2024 22:03:09 +0000

Iowa man allegedly shoots his father in face after complaint about smelly feet. Woman tries to run boyfriend over with car on their way to couples therapy. Alaska Airlines flight makes sudden diversion after pilot says he's not certified to land the plane. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman drives truck through strip club for kicking him out. Man stabs roommate over gas prices.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 16 Aug 2024 22:53:15 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Annual Florida Python hunt: Florida has dangerous animals that can kill and here's a list of the deadliest. Floridaman drives semi truck into Tampa strip club after being kicked out. Florida Boaters Keep Finding Cocaine in the Water. Floridaman stabbed roommate over argument on who spent the most on fueling their car. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Circumcised without consent leads to apology. Taliban welcome hostages - I mean "Tourists".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 15 Aug 2024 22:15:00 +0000

The Taliban are working to woo tourists to Afghanistan. Cats appear to grieve death of fellow pets – even dogs, study finds. New Zealand hospital apologizes after a man was circumcised without his consent. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Lice in passenger's hair leads to emergency landing. Breastfeeding humans try to get an orangutan to do same.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 14 Aug 2024 22:03:29 +0000

Dublin Zoo enlists help of breastfeeding mothers to encourage female orangutan bond with her newborn. American Airlines Flight Makes Emergency Landing After Passenger Spots Lice In Woman's Hair. MAGA fans call for boycott of Dunkin Donuts: ‘The Bud Lite treatment’. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Lady steals $1.5 million worth of chicken wings from school. Stop giving the monks energy drinks, please.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 13 Aug 2024 22:23:56 +0000

Cult-Favorite Japanese 7-Eleven Sandos and Snacks Are Coming to the U.S. Call for Buddhists to Stop Donating Energy Drinks to Monks. Lady stole $1.5 million worth of chicken wings from school meal program. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Glitterbombing Mars will make it better to dance on. Man steals women's undies cuz he hates his wife's undies.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 12 Aug 2024 22:00:00 +0000

Blasting 'glitter' into Mars' atmosphere could make it more habitable, say scientists. Man in Thailand arrested for stealing women’s underwear, says his wife doesn’t have the ones he likes. Woman dies after getting caught in baggage carousel at Chicago airport. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Hurricane blows cocaine onto Florida beach. Lady blames strong winds for failed sobriety test.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 9 Aug 2024 21:51:35 +0000

FORIDA FRIDAY - Hurricane Debby washes over $1 million of cocaine onto a Florida beach. Florida woman hurls burrito at husband after argument over Taco Bell. Florida woman arrested for DUI during Hurricane Debby blamed storm winds for failed sobriety test. Florida man wanted for stealing $1,000 worth of adult toys. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Chess player poisons her rival pre-match. Mayor asks to please not poop on their pretty beach.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 8 Aug 2024 22:20:09 +0000

Chess Player Suspended After Allegedly Poisoning Her Rival. Ontario Premier requests Wasaga beach visitors not poop in the sand. American woman found in Indian forest had been chained to tree for 40 days. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Airline now allows women to purchase seats away from the creepy men. Man arrested for assaulting a Prius.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 7 Aug 2024 22:11:54 +0000

Indian airline now allows women to purchase seats away from the creepy men. Man Arrested After Assaulting a Toyota Prius. Users are lifting lady hosts' skirts remotely during live-streams in China. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Black clothing banned in classrooms but the 10 Commandments are on the wall for all to see.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 6 Aug 2024 22:22:03 +0000

New York State bill bans classrooms that reach 88 degrees and hotter. Middle school bans all-black clothing, citing mental health concerns. Louisiana governor tells parents against Ten Commandments in classrooms: 'Tell your child not to look'. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - watch my episode of That Was Wild Podcast: https://youtu.be/kCAEtImOBR0?si=BzQ7LHTWr7ZXjVbU

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Pole vaulter’s huge package costs him Olympic medal. Baby Karen's are nearly extinct.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 5 Aug 2024 22:14:04 +0000

French Pole Vaulter’s Large Bulge Costs Him an Olympic Medal. This Texas Bar's Weekly Dildo Races Create Fun Vibes. Baby Karens are nearly extinct. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Woman caught with drugs in bag labeled ‘Bag of Drugs’. Floridaman lassos an alligator for killing the turtles.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 2 Aug 2024 22:01:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Woman caught with drugs in bag labeled ‘Bag of Drugs’. Florida woman drowns her roommate's pet spider in ginger ale. Florida mom accused of screwing nail into daughter's buttocks. Floridaman arrested after he lassos alligator, ties it to fence, then calls 911. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones - watch my episode of That Was Wild Podcast: https://youtu.be/kCAEtImOBR0?si=BzQ7LHTWr7ZXjVbU

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Unseasoned chicken led to brawl with bug spray, fists and knives. Man stabs another man over chicken or egg debate.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 1 Aug 2024 21:56:40 +0000

Man in Indonesia stabs another man to death over chicken or egg debate. Australian hockey star amputates finger to play at Olympics. Unseasoned chicken led to brawl with bug spray, fists and knives. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Corpse shortage at medical schools. Disney cancels offensive bear named Liver Lips McGrowl.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 31 Jul 2024 22:28:13 +0000

Corpse shortage in Scotland as medical student enrollment rises. Disney World axes ‘offensive’ bear Liver Lips McGrowl from show. Japan cracks down on use of rideable electric suitcases amid tourist boom. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Champagne sales down because people aren't cheery. Docs remove giant gourd from farmer's rectum.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 Jul 2024 21:58:04 +0000

Champagne sales down worldwide in 2024 because of a lack of 'cheer'. New York bans realistic active shooter drills in schools. Doctors surgically remove 40cm bottle gourd from farmer’s rectum. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Stripper, emotional support monkey and a football coach. Supreme Court rules that boneless wings can have bones.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 29 Jul 2024 22:20:15 +0000

Boneless chicken wings can have bones, Ohio Supreme Court rules. Japanese supermarkets begin tracking and optimizing workers' smiles. Texas football coach marries stripper nicknamed 'pole assassin' with pet monkey.// SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida police order no selfies with the depressed black bear. Floridaman resists arrest while being arrested for resisting arrest.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 26 Jul 2024 22:11:06 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida police tell people to stop taking selfies with a depressed blackbear. Bookstore aimed at selling books banned in Florida opens. Florida Man resists arrest while being arrested on a warrant for resisting arrest. Ron DeSantis says cops can’t agree on how much weed a joint holds. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Tourist burns feet off in Death Valley. Japan restaurants charge tourists more than locals.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 25 Jul 2024 22:16:59 +0000

Japanese restaurants say they’re not charging tourists more, they’re just charging locals less. Police search for man with 'evil' tattooed on his face. Tourist burns his feet off walking barefoot in Death Valley. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Resurrect dead loved one's with AI avatars. Astronauts will drink their own pee on the moon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 24 Jul 2024 22:08:41 +0000

Companies offer to 'resurrect' deceased loved ones with AI avatars. Astronauts could ditch diapers on spacewalks thanks to new device that lets them drink their pee. The First Ever Cheese Museum Opens in Paris. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Cocaine Sharks invade Brazil. Father decapitates seagull in front of family.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 23 Jul 2024 21:59:43 +0000

Cocaine sharks found off coast of Brazil. Jersey father accused of decapitating seagull in front of family. Rapper Snoop Dogg to carry Olympic torch ahead of Paris opening ceremony. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Plants with offensive names will be renamed. Japan Olympic gymnast sent home for smoking.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 22 Jul 2024 22:16:01 +0000

Japan's gymnastics captain out of Olympics for drinking and smoking. Human finger found in driveway and returned to owner. Plants With Racist Names to Be Renamed. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida stripper sues to remain a stripper. Florida woman bites flight attendant on United Airlines.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 19 Jul 2024 22:22:45 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida stripper sues state over law raising age requirement. Florida woman bites flight attendant on United Airlines. Florida woman flips off camera before plowing car through special needs school. Florida man called 911 about having phony 'suicidal thoughts' so he could hitch free ride to Tampa. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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This illegal Trader Joe's spice will get you arrested. Melting ice caps are gonna give us a longer weekend.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 Jul 2024 22:21:11 +0000

Melting ice caps slow Earth's spin and makes the days longer. Museum boss admits Picassos exhibited for 3 years are fakes she painted herself. South Korean airport authorities crackdown on Trader Joe’s bagel seasoning. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Young people are getting groped a lot in Japan. World's largest water balloon fight.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 17 Jul 2024 21:53:08 +0000

10% of young people in Japan have experience being groped recently. Suspected drug-smuggling tunnel found in Tijuana is so long authorities don't have enough oxygen to reach other end. California city aims to host world's largest water balloon fight. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Too much cocaine is hurting Columbia. Elon offers his sperm for the first Mars colony.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 16 Jul 2024 22:01:20 +0000

Colombia Faces a New Problem: Too Much Cocaine. Father of 12 Elon Musk Offers His Sperm for Colony on Mars. Police in Southern California warn of hugging robbers. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Taco Bell opens a retirement community. Mexico cancels the Greek God Poseidon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 15 Jul 2024 22:38:19 +0000

Taco Bell opening 'retirement community' in California. Mexico ‘cancels’ statue of Greek god Poseidon after dispute with local deity. Greece's new 6-day workweek law takes effect. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Two Florida women, one sandwich. Floridaman shoots himself in groin in front of girlfriend while trying to shoot her ex.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 12 Jul 2024 23:16:50 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Naked female Florida inmate tried to jam sandwich into cellmate's mouth, then bit lieutenant. Floridaman is arrested after stealing beer and forgetting one of his children in the store. Florida woman arrested for making serious threats to the Governor. Floridaman shoots self in groin in front of girlfriend while trying to kill her ex boyfriend. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man broke into pet store to release the animals. Man caught smuggling 100 snakes in his pants.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 21:52:51 +0000

ANIMALS ANIMALS ANIMALS! - Man wearing pajamas broke into a pet store and released the animals. Prison in Brazil uses geese to guard against escapes. Man in China caught smuggling 100 live snakes in his trousers. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Porn Passports coming this summer. German city renames itself after Taylor Swift.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 10 Jul 2024 21:58:38 +0000

Spain’s new ‘porn passport’ is coming this summer. Germany Is Actually Renaming a City After Taylor Swift. Paramedics Advise Not Shooting Fireworks From Your Orifices. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Offensive Happy Meal will be called just "The Meal". Ammo vending machines in grocery stores.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 9 Jul 2024 23:19:35 +0000

Vending machines dispense ammunition at Alabama grocery stores. Cyclist fined for kissing wife during Tour de France.
McDonald's rebrands Happy Meal as just 'The Meal' for Mental Health Awareness Week. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Teacher livestreams up her skirt during class. Government will ban politicians from lying.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 8 Jul 2024 22:11:03 +0000

Thai teacher caught livestreaming under skirt while teaching class. Welsh Government to ban politicians from lying. Live rhino horns injected with radioactive material in project aimed at curbing poaching in South Africa. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida crack bears are fair game. Floridaman on a tricycle fights man with machete over lights.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 5 Jul 2024 22:13:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested after allegedly trying to withdraw 1 cent from bank. DeSantis signs bill making it legal to kill ‘crack bears’. FloridaMan On A Tricycle Fights Man With A Machete Over A Flashlight. Floridaman cut Florida’s arts funding over ‘sexual’ festivals. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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College has a student height requirement. Rapper's lyrics must be approved by US government.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 3 Jul 2024 22:14:39 +0000

University in Vietnam establishes a student height requirement. Rapper BG ordered to have all future songs approved by US government. New App in San Francisco Lets You Spy on Bars to See How Busy They Are. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man squirts his urine at ladies as an ice breaker. The Big Nude Boat is a nude cruise launching soon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 2 Jul 2024 22:12:01 +0000

Four fisherman die after drinking from bottles found in sea. Man fined for squirting mixture of urine and flour onto woman's dress to try to chat her up. A nude cruise launches next year called The Big Nude Boat. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Government robot worker commits suicide. Minister arrested for performing black magic on a President.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 1 Jul 2024 22:17:00 +0000

Maldives climate minister arrested for performing ‘black magic’ on the President. South Korea administrative robot commits apparent suicide. Do not let your friends urinate on you: Medical advice on how to treat a jellyfish sting this summer. *Plus BONUS original song - Sting of Love. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man flies to Florida to attack gamer with a hammer. Floridaman shoots at Walmart delivery drone.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 28 Jun 2024 22:44:45 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida man arrested for shooting a Walmart delivery drone. Florida dad arrested after 15-month-old daughter eats his weed. Nearly all Florida beaches have unsafe levels of human poop. Gamer flies from New Jersey to Florida, attacks man with hammer over online gaming dispute. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Church sells plots of land in Heaven. Golf course rents out llamas as caddies.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 27 Jun 2024 21:59:44 +0000

North Carolina golf course rents out llama caddies to carry your clubs. Eternal Real Estate? A Church in Mexico Is Selling Plots of Land in Heaven. Edinburgh offers cash prizes for taking photo of yourself putting rubbish in a litter bin. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Beastiality Bus pulled over in PA. You can't sell human poo without FDA approval.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 26 Jun 2024 22:30:09 +0000

FDA warns company selling products with human fecal matter without approval. Alleged bestiality bus with dozens of animals stopped in Pennsylvania. Two US astronauts stranded in space on board Boeing’s Starliner capsule. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Poop protest in the Paris river postponed. Flat Earthers get a new reality show.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 25 Jun 2024 21:59:58 +0000

Parisian poop protest postponed. Flat Earthers Are Getting Their Own Competition Style Reality TV Show. NASA shows interest in an asteroid worth $10,000,000,000,000,000,000. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man had sex with a train seat. Hong Kong demands citizens smile more to attract more tourists.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 24 Jun 2024 22:33:22 +0000

Hong Kong Tells Residents to ‘Smile More’ as Government Tries to Revive Declining Tourism. Man accused of having sex with train seat on MetroLink. Woman earns Stanford master’s degree at 105. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida lady shot roommate for being messy. Playground stolen from Florida school for Autistic children.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 21 Jun 2024 22:27:17 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida McDonald's employee shoots at customers who said their order was wrong. Floridaman dentist arrested after making more than 100 online threats. Playground stolen from Florida school for children with autism. Florida woman shoots roommate, says he didn’t clean up after himself. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man's genitals removed by enemy while asleep. Anti-Woke water is a hit for conservatives.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 22:18:33 +0000

‘Anti-woke’ water becomes a hit for conservatives. Indian Man's Genitals Removed While He Was Sleeping. Study show eating cheese plays a role in healthy, happy aging – who are we to argue? // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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New SexBots powered AI to hit shelves. Come back to the office and get your own desk!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 19 Jun 2024 22:01:33 +0000

China's next-gen sexbots powered by AI to hit the shelves. Employers lure workers back to office with promise of their own desk. Vermont Republican confesses to secretly pouring cups of water into colleague’s bag for months. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Police conduct mock shooting for students who now need therapy. Elephants know each others' names cuz they smart.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 18 Jun 2024 22:05:22 +0000

Woman didn’t know she was pregnant, gave birth at Golden Corral. Elephants may refer to each other by name. Burlington Police Terrified High School Students With Mock Shooting. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Crocodile ate their dogs, so they ate him. Hire a driver that can also shoot your enemies.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 17 Jun 2024 22:42:03 +0000

A crocodile was terrorizing an Australian town, so residents cooked and ate it. Like Uber, but with guns new car service in Phoenix. Edible robots could end up on a menu according to scientists. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman sneezes and his colon falls out at the diner. Man thinks all of Florida is a nude beach.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 14 Jun 2024 22:58:06 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida man takes naked stroll through park with good reason. Floridaman sneezes and his colon falls out at the diner. Florida school board bans a book on book-banning. Floridaman crashes car through a jail and the it gets weird. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man broke into home to perform exorcism on former co-worker. Hospital puts "famous" singer in a straight-jacket.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 13 Jun 2024 21:54:35 +0000

Four Tops singer says hospital put him in straitjacket after not believing he was in Four Tops. A restaurant wanting a ‘grown and sexy’ vibe bans diners under 30. Man breaks into former Chick-fil-A co-worker's home to 'perform exorcism'. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Denmark recalls Korean ramen for being too spicy. German town votes to have all pigeons killed.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 12 Jun 2024 22:04:54 +0000

Denmark recalls Korean ramen for being too spicy. German town votes to have all pigeons killed. Chiquita Banana Co found liable for financing terrorist group. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Jesus had an erection when he dies, says priest. Flying venomous spiders heading to the Northeast.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 22:00:01 +0000

Venomous flying spiders with 4-inch legs spread across East Coast. Catholic priest keeps job after reportedly claiming Jesus died with an erection. Canadian walking her dog finds more than 40 rotisserie chickens in the woods. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Books about farts and butts are back in Texas libraries. Lady suffers from Sleep Shopping disorder.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 10 Jun 2024 22:23:43 +0000

Woman Who Shops in Her Sleep: Rare Disorder called 'Sleep Shopping'. Texas library must reinstate books with 'butts and farts,' court says. Tokyo govt to launch dating app to boost birth rate. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman called police on herself during a carjacking. Floridaman caught pushing stolen Coke machine down street.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 7 Jun 2024 22:29:50 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Lab-grown meat isn’t on store shelves yet, but Florida has already banned it. Florida woman called 911 on herself during attempted carjacking. ‘You’re not allowed to stop me’: Florida woman leads officers on chase. Floridaman Caught Pushing Stolen Coca-Cola Fridge Through Neighborhood. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Porn takes over Amazon tribe after they finally get internet. Scientists wanna know what time it is on the moon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 6 Jun 2024 22:34:01 +0000

Why scientists say we need to send clocks to the moon. Elders Of Amazon Tribe Slam Elon Musk's Starlink For Exposing Young Members To Porn, Social Media. Online shop selling USED TAMPONS to strangers. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Straight men get free beer at bar's Heterosexual Awareness event. Flavor Flav orders entire Red Lobster menu in effort to save company.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 5 Jun 2024 22:12:22 +0000

Flavor Flav Orders Entire Red Lobster Menu in Effort to Save Company. Idaho bar declares June ‘Heterosexual Awareness Month’ with free beers for straight men. France Arrests Three People After Coffins Found at Eiffel Tower. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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You will soon be able to grow new teeth. Your orange juice is about to have zero oranges.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 4 Jun 2024 21:58:17 +0000

Humans May Be Able to Grow New Teeth Within Just 6 Years. Texas professors sue to fail students who seek abortions. Orange juice makers consider using alternative fruit as prices skyrocket. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Town bans sex dolls and genital costumes for parties. Teacher holds mock slave auction in class.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 3 Jun 2024 22:35:01 +0000

Italian village with 46 residents has 30 local election candidates. Spanish tourist town bans sex dolls and genital costumes for bachelor and bachelorette parties. Massachusetts teacher on leave after holding mock slave auction and using racial slurs. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Shirtless Floridaman robbing Wendy's with finger guns blazin. Florida couple makes 4pm love on the pier.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 31 May 2024 22:33:53 +0000

FLORDA FRIDAY - Shirtless Florida man tries to rob a Wendy’s with finger guns blazin. Florida men of stole 150 gallons of used cooking oil. Florida couple had sex on Naples Pier at 4:30pm. Florida child brings hollowed-out, inert grenade to elementary school. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Cash for vasectomy reversals to help declining birth rates. Violent street performer disputes in Mexico.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 30 May 2024 22:10:00 +0000

South Korea Offers Cash for Vasectomy Reversals in Bid to Boost Languishing Birth Rate. Mariachis attack flame-swallower as Mexico’s disputes between street performers reaches new high. Student council apologizes over giving girl group's used water bottles away as prizes at a talent show. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Poop balloons sent from North Korea to annoy neighbor. Ramen lovers eat their noodles as restaurant goes up in flames around them.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 29 May 2024 21:26:46 +0000

Ramen lovers continue to eat noodles as restaurant goes up in flames around them. 81-year-old arrested after police say he terrorized a California neighborhood with a slingshot. North Korea reportedly sends balloons carrying excrement into the South. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Mexican cartels take over the tortillas. Family gets brain worms from uncooked bear meat.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 May 2024 20:59:29 +0000

Mexican cartels taking control of tortilla industry. Family stricken with rare brain worms after eating undercooked bear. Scientists brew killer bee beer. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida Priest bites woman at Mass. Floridaman offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral pleasures.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 May 2024 22:10:25 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida Grandma Groped Goofy at Disney World. Floridaman criminal found ‘folded’ in a dryer. Florida Priest bites woman at Mass after denying her the body of Christ cookie. Floridaman offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral pleasures. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Dogs now have their own luxury airline. Queer animal documentary featuring bisexual lions.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 23 May 2024 21:58:00 +0000

Your Dogs Can Now Fly in Luxury With a New Airline Just for Them. Daily Cannabis Use Outpaced Daily Alcohol Use For First Time In U.S. Queer animal documentary featuring bisexual lions accused of pushing a ‘satanic gay agenda’. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Crime to wear a mask in public? Ten Commandments in the classroom? Bears don't mind Black Sabbath.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 May 2024 22:10:17 +0000

Louisiana could become first state to require Ten Commandments be displayed in classrooms. BLACK SABBATH's Music Is Not Good For Getting A Bear Out Of A Tree. NC Senate approves bill making it a crime to wear a mask in public. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Every human testicle contains microplastics, study shows. Swiss court bans the Bimbo for being racist.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 21 May 2024 21:59:00 +0000

Swiss court bans ‘racist’ Mexican food brand ‘Bimbo’. Stop signs replace Oakland traffic lights to deter copper theft. Scientists Confirm Microplastics Now Detected in Evevery Human Testicle. //

SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Man has sexual relations with a pink Tesla for three hours. Taiwan parliament member runs away with bill to prevent passing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 May 2024 21:55:25 +0000

Korean man has inappropriate relations with a pink Tesla for three hours. 706 people named Kyle got together in Texas, but wasn’t enough for a world record. Taiwan parliament member runs away with bill to prevent passing. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Florida raises stripper age to 21 to fight trafficking? Miami police showcase first Rolls Royce police car.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 May 2024 21:56:27 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida teen says she was denied entry to prom for wearing a suit. Gov. DeSantis signs bill raising age to strip in Florida, combats human trafficking. Miami Beach Police rolls out world’s first Rolls-Royce police car. Floridaman named Yoda arrested for burglary. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Pope will discuss aliens and what the church will do about them. 106 year old man is the oldest skydiver ever.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 May 2024 22:12:43 +0000

Pope Set To Hold Press Conference on Aliens and the Supernatural. Man arrested for releasing his fluids on Whole Foods shopper. Texas man has world’s oldest skydiver record at 106 years old. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Judge rules tacos and burritos are sandwiches. Police Arrest Yakuza Leader For Stealing 25 Pokemon Trading Cards.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 15 May 2024 23:25:08 +0000

Tokyo Police Arrest Yakuza Leader For Stealing 25 Pokemon Trading Cards. Indiana judge rules tacos, burritos are sandwiches. Killer whales attack and sink sailing boat off Gibraltar. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Flavor Flav is a hype man for the US women’s water polo team. YouTuber runs over pedestrian while streaming under the influence.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 May 2024 22:16:39 +0000

Flavor Flav is the official hype man for the US women’s water polo team. YouTuber runs over pedestrian while streaming under the influence. Scorpions invade southwest Las Vegas valley neighborhoods. // how your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Lady lived inside supermarket roof sign for entire year. Man assaults police with a block of cheese.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 13 May 2024 22:14:53 +0000

Plane passenger climbs into the overhead bin of US Southwest Airlines flight and takes a nap. Angry guy assaulted Newfoundland officers with block of cheese. Woman Found Living in Supermarket Store Sign with Computer and Coffee Maker for a Year.// Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman bites off piece of cop’s head at a music festival. Man stopped at Miami airport with snakes in his pants.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 10 May 2024 21:48:42 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman Claims He Caught A Time Traveler Coming Out Of His Shed. Floridaman arrested after biting off piece of cop’s head at music festival. Floridaman arrested for pulling AR-15 rifle on Uber driver dropping off daughter. Miami voted Best U.S. City for Nude Gardening. Floridaman stopped at Miami International Airport with snakes in his pants. // Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Zoo painted puppies to look like pandas. AI Priest defrocked after it Ok's baptizing a baby in Gatorade.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 May 2024 21:33:12 +0000

Zoogoers outraged to discover ‘panda’ exhibit was actually dogs dyed black and white. Women are paying big money to scream, smash sticks in the woods in a rage ritual. AI Priest defrocked after it Ok's baptizing a baby in Gatorade. // Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Darts player refuses to play against trans darts player. Bear eats the ducklings at a kids party.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 May 2024 22:10:34 +0000

British darts star forfeits match after refusing to face trans darts player. Bear devours ducklings during kid's birthday party at Seattle Zoo. Lady drives through Fenway Park gate, crashes into forklift. // Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Emotional support alligator kidnapped. NASA asked to help find the Loch Ness Monster.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 May 2024 22:14:32 +0000

Man says his emotional support alligator was kidnapped. Loch Ness monster: NASA urged to help as new search begins. Restaurant worker put his genitals in jar of jelly. Scientists say active volcano is spewing gold. // Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Floridaman throws pasta during road rage incident. Floridaman 'Pee Wee’ caught exposing himself at 3 stores.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 4 May 2024 11:20:45 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida man arrested after ‘throwing pasta with sauce’ amid road rage incident. 'Pee Wee’ caught exposing himself at Florida stores three times in a month. ‘Really dumb decision:’ Florida woman apologizes for assault rifle photoshoot outside daycare. 85-year-old Floridaman alleges prostitute carjacked him after sex. // Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

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Meth induced Bigfoot sacrifice leads to murder of fishing buddy. Gold spewing volcano make you rich.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 Apr 2024 23:31:40 +0000

Woman in England told she is dead and she would like answers even tho dead people don't get answers. Man murdered his friend because he thought he was sacrificing him to Bigfoot but also meth. Volcano in Antarctica spews $6k worth of gold each day. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Pet cat shipped 700 miles in Amazon return package. The Mona Lisa may be sent to the basement.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 Apr 2024 04:17:04 +0000

Pet cat was shipped 650 miles in Amazon return package by accident. Mona Lisa is gonna be sent to the basement at the Louvre museum. Retired chiropractor kills Elvis Impersonator using chlorophyll during kinky intercourse. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman employee shoots own father thru drive-thru. Floridaman drinks a cold one during arrest.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 26 Apr 2024 20:10:49 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida Dunkin Donuts employee shot father through the drive thru. Floridaman tells police he's gonna drink a cold one while being arrested. Florida couple forged lottery ticket winner by taping together two losers. Floridaman shoots a McDonald's customer over sauce. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Male hippo discovered to be female after 7 years at a zoo. Orgasm noise study shows it's quiet.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 25 Apr 2024 22:21:04 +0000

Man sues movie theaters for underfilling the drinks. Male hippo in Japanese zoo discovered to be female after 7 years. Orgasm noise study results show it's pretty quiet. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Milan to ban ice cream and pizza after midnight. Lady says stolen jeep was a tip from a customer.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 24 Apr 2024 18:07:39 +0000

Lady says stolen jeep was a tip from a former Waffle House customer. Milan set to ban ice cream and pizza after midnight for the entire summer. Students were instructed to act out mass murder involving puppets in theater class.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Snakebite victims asked to not bring the snake to the hospital. Man's body produces alcohol?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 23 Apr 2024 18:09:40 +0000

Man has a condition where his body makes alcohol, no DUI for him. Hospital in Australia asks snakebite victims to please not bring the snake in. School principal got a facial in the kitchen and bites the teacher that video recorded it.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Woman took a corpse into a bank and tried to get a loan. Mascot name Ozempig upsets some people.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 22 Apr 2024 18:43:35 +0000

Minor league baseball team names mascot Ozempig and it upsets people. Beijing marathon runner allowed to win by the Africans. Brazilian arrested after taking a corpse to the bank to get a loan. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman has sword ritual with kidnapped lady. Florida fire fighter whips out his hose in a 7-11.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 19 Apr 2024 18:51:37 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman shoots roommate during their vigilance drill. Florida fire fighter whips it out at a 7-11. Floridaman conducts a sword ritual while holding woman captive. Florida woman spits on bus driver over false coochie touching. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Workers hired thugs to beat up boss for long hours. Polish priest held drug field orgies and then...

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 Apr 2024 18:19:00 +0000

Workers hire thugs to beat up manager for working them too much. Polish priest held drug field orgies with male prostitutes and then trouble. Burglar left a big one in toilet. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man arrested for having sex with a car for three years. Tennessee okays teachers with guns in class.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 Apr 2024 00:19:48 +0000

Man arrested for making love to a lady's car for three years nonstop. Bay Area train employees built secret homes in train stations. Tennessee passes a bill allowing public school teachers to be armed in classrooms. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Goofy falls on top of woman, who sues Disney. Nuns eat potato chips and now the church is angry,

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 16 Apr 2024 23:01:02 +0000

Woman sues Disney after Goofy falls on top of her. Ontario resident gets a vagina and a penis paid for by public. Commercial of nuns eating potato chips in place of communion wafers sparks outrage. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man kills himself with his own poisonous pet snakes. Dead lady requested Grim Reaper at funeral.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 15 Apr 2024 17:07:24 +0000

Man takes his own life using his pet snakes. Woman tips $1k because she believe the rapture was coming and then asked for her money back. Dead lady request Grim Reaper at her funeral. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida woman claims God told her to shoot up a highway during eclipse. Drunk driving on 3 wheels?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 12 Apr 2024 19:54:34 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida teens arrested for partying on top of a crane. Drunk Florida woman driving on three tires arrested. Florida pastor cancels autism awareness because he says it's demonic. Florida woman claims God told her to shoot the highway on the solar eclipse. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Testicles were shown on the news instead of solar eclipse. Employee hangs his own art in museum.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 11 Apr 2024 16:06:35 +0000

Mexican news station accidentally shows testicles shot instead of the solar eclipse. Employee hangs his own art in the art museum. Millennials and Gen Z are apparently splurging on groceries according to study. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Drug made from human bones is very addicting. Nine year old misses bus, steals mom's car for school.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 10 Apr 2024 17:32:49 +0000

Drug made from human bones is an epidemic in Africa. Everyone in Japan will have last name Sato by year 2531. Nine year old takes mom's car to school after missing the bus. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Chechnya bans music that's too slow but also too fast. Earthquake strikes while man gets vasectomy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 9 Apr 2024 18:23:36 +0000

French couple with 159 cats now banned from all pets. Earthquake hits while man is getting vasectomy. Chechnya bans music that is too slow and music that is too fast. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Town asks mayor to stop the solar eclipse. Italian island offers free goats if you catch them.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 8 Apr 2024 15:48:38 +0000

Michigan town asks mayor to stop the solar eclipse. Italian island offer free goats to anyone that catches them. Customer pulls gun on n Burger King employee for offering a discount. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman assaults store manager with Bible on Easter. Couple arrested for sex in front of Popeye's

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 5 Apr 2024 15:25:05 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman assaults store manager with a Bible on Easter. Space trash falls on a house in Florida. Florida 10 year old sold his dead dad's gun to another elementary student. Florida couple has sex on a sidewalk in front of Popeyes. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man fires his gun downtown to celebrate his divorce. Africa threatens to deliver 20,000 elephants .

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 4 Apr 2024 15:17:51 +0000

Botswana threatens to send 20,000 elephants to Germany. Man arrested for firing his guns to celebrate his divorce. Inmates in New York sue to see the solar eclipse. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Firefighter impersonator with garden hose arrested. Arizona claims Pluto as official planet.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 2 Apr 2024 22:11:00 +0000

Swiss canton creating fake traffic jam to fool tourists. Firefighter impersonator with garden hose disrupts fire rescue. Pluto is claimed by Arizona as their official planet. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Super Gonorrhea surging in China. Filipinos still nailing themselves to crosses, church hates it.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 1 Apr 2024 22:36:13 +0000

Filipinos are still bailing themselves to crosses and the church hates it. Super Gonorrhea is surging in China. Banana battle at a gas station leads to hospitalization. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida lady says it's not robbery, it's a "game called 21". Gallons of wine okay but no lab meat!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 29 Mar 2024 22:31:18 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman robs a Walmart but says it's all a game of 21. Florida is going to ban lab grown meat. Floridaman masturbees on a children's bicycle. Florida will now offer large containers of wine.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Help us find the biggest weiner in baseball. Man dies after friend pumps air into his rectum.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 22:30:07 +0000

Sports company hiring a Weiner Connoisseur to find largest Weiner in baseball. Cornwall pub lost their award because of Nazi memorabilia. Indian man died after friend pumps air into his rectum. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Strippers' Bill of Rights signed in Washington. Man believed his mom a vampire and staked her.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 22:46:16 +0000

Viagra linked to a reduction in Alzheimer's risk according to new study. Stripper's Bill of Rights signed in Washington. Man kills his mother believing she's a vampire. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Titanic door that murdered Jack sold for $700k. Tennessee senate passes bill banning chemtrails?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 26 Mar 2024 22:22:56 +0000

Titanic door that killed Jack sold for $700 k at Hollywood auction. Tennessee senate passes bill to ban chemtrails. Prisoner taught printing in jail prints counterfeit money. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man stole and ate the leg of someone killed by a train. Buying lady poop online isn't easy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 26 Mar 2024 00:37:40 +0000

Man stole and ate the leg of someone killed by a train. Man tries to buy women's poo on Facebook. Texas man changed his name to "Literally Anybody Else" and this now running for president. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Naked Florida woman sets fire to church and police cars. Child brought gun to daycare in lunchbox.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 22 Mar 2024 22:22:43 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Naked Florida woman sets fire to church and police cars. Floridaman touches himself after being denied entry into Sloppy Joe's. Leprosy is on the rise in Florida. Florida mom put a gun in her child's lunch box for daycare. 500 pounds of pythons in one pile found in Florida.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Boys ages 11, 12, and 16 rob a bank in Texas. Bakery can't sell alcohol near the pyramid winery.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 21 Mar 2024 22:47:16 +0000

Boys ages 11,12 and 16 rob a bank in Texas. Georgia couple claims movers stole their sex dominoes. Utah bakery denied liquor license because of proximity to a wine pyramid church. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man offered college girls $100 to kick in the groin. Student persuaded to cut off both his feet.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 20 Mar 2024 22:28:19 +0000

Student was persuaded to choose his feet off by a buddy for insurance money. Canadian man arrested for offering college girls $100 to kick him in the groin. Sex is back at the 2024 Olympics in Paris. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Lady with two vaginas and a boyfriend for each. Cat fell into a cat of toxic chemicals.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 19 Mar 2024 22:41:55 +0000

Cat fell into a vat of toxic chemicals in Japan. Woman with two vaginas and two boyfriends. Man banned from store he brought his service duck into. / Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Lady impersonates FBI agent to shut down Waffle House. Elderly couple escaped living facility.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 18 Mar 2024 22:58:57 +0000

Woman impersonated FBI agent in order to shut down a Waffle House. Montreal man got a letter from the government claiming he's dead. Elderly couple escaped living facility using Morse code skills. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Fake Florida doctor does a "killer" buttlift. Mom tried to sell her daughter in a bank parking lot.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 15 Mar 2024 22:29:12 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida fake doctor kills woman with a buttlift. Floridaman with "Will Run" license plate runs from police. Florida mom offers to sell her daughter for $500 in parking lot. Floridaman stole $25k from employer and made getaway on a bus. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man creates giant mutant hybrid sheep illegally. Dead man's roommates drive his body to his bank.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 14 Mar 2024 22:00:05 +0000

Montana man created giant mutant hybrid bighorn sheep for hunting. Massachusetts beach homeowners built $500 mil sand barrier that washes away in 3 days. Dead Ohio man's roommates drove his corpse to his own bank to withdraw money. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Simulated period pain for male office workers in Japan. Fake lawyer at Burger King scam.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 13 Mar 2024 22:17:58 +0000

Make office workers in Japan experience simulated period pain. Olive oil is most stolen product in Spain. Victim seeking divorce scammed by fake paralegal at Burger King. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Rats are eating the marijuana at NOLA police station. Men planned to have python eat young girl.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 12 Mar 2024 22:21:41 +0000

Police in New Orleans claim rats are eating the marijuana in their evidence room. French study shows young people don't recognize a zucchini. Two men planned to have a python eat a woman's daughter before blowing her house up. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Saudi Arabia's humanoid robot "gropes" news anchor. Library will accept cat pics instead of fees.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 11 Mar 2024 22:46:50 +0000

Inmate wrongly released from jail, sees on news that he's an escapee and promptly calls police to turn himself in. Saudi Arabia's first humanoid robot gropes a female on camera. Library accepts your cat pics and will wave your fees and dues. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman says his bomb threat was "flirting". Man holds lady for ransom after learning she's Trans

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 8 Mar 2024 23:25:30 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida lawmakers pass bill banning ballon releases. Floridaman beat man with coconut after stealing tricycle. Floridaman held woman for ransom after learning she transgender. Floridaman claims his airport bomb threat was attempt to flirt. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Teacher shot student during exams. Russia and China plan a nuclear power plant on the Moon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 7 Mar 2024 23:35:48 +0000

Teacher suspended for shooting a student during exams. Voyager 1 space probe is talking nonsense and NASA is worried. Russia and China plan on building a nuclear power plant on the moon. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Scorpion stung a man's groin in Vegas hotel. US military man shared classified info on dating site.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 6 Mar 2024 23:50:44 +0000

Scorpion sting man on testicles in Vegas hotel. US Military man shares cover classified information on a foreign dating site. Annoying hospital beeps and alarms cause hundreds of deaths per year. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Balls Out Bowling where nudity is required. Nasal spray addiction crisis in Norway.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 5 Mar 2024 23:28:05 +0000

Naked bowling event coming to Pittsburgh. 70 year old man has eaten over 34,000 Big Macs. Norway has 700k nasal spray addicts. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Toe-licking fundraiser event at a school. Man pulls knife on comedy club staff after denied stage.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 4 Mar 2024 23:36:50 +0000

Student toe-licking fundraiser sparks investigation at a high school. Humpback whales photographed having gay male intercourse. Wisconsin man arrested for pulling a knife on comedy club staff after he wasn't allowed to get on stage. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman claims is Jesus while pooping in a Target. Floridaman hates free stuff and will attack.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 1 Mar 2024 23:41:58 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida Dunkin's manager steals $150k from employer. Customer throws his fee hot coffee at Florida Dunkin's employee. Floridaman claims is Jesus while pooping in a Target. Florida woman poisons her boyfriend with bleach. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Teacher brings swords to class for kids to battle. Willy Wonka event left kids in tears.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 29 Feb 2024 23:33:55 +0000

Teacher brought swords to class and held fight club. Willy Wonka event left kids in tears. Republican suggests bringing back duels. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Mom can't stop throwing Christmas trees. Japan will launch first wooden satellite.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 28 Feb 2024 23:20:30 +0000

Japan launches first wooden satellite. Female passenger forces oral sex on man sitting next to her. Mom loses insurance case for fraud after she's photographed throwing a Christmas tree. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Singer dosed bandmate with estrogen to steal his girlfriend. Woman will be first to marry a hologram

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 27 Feb 2024 23:07:15 +0000

Singer dosed bandmate with estrogen to steal his woman. Influencer sells all of her farts online for $300. Woman will be first to marry a hologram. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Corpse left in a hearse for two years. Man tried to buy a Porsche with $78 million check.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 26 Feb 2024 23:25:32 +0000

Funeral home owner left corpse in a hearse for 2 years. Missouri law says pregnant women can't get a divorce. Indiana man arrested for trying to buy a car with $78 million check. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida woman gives mom a hot grits slap. Measles outbreak at a Florida school but it's fine!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 23 Feb 2024 23:28:40 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Measles outbreak at Florida school but that's fine. Florida woman attacked her mom with hot grits slap. Florida couple arrested for bestiality. Florida law will ban social media for kids under 16. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Priest arrested for selling Viagra. Japan will allow women at the Naked Man Festival.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 22 Feb 2024 23:36:53 +0000

Woman drives thru graveyard because she's late for appointments. Japan will allow women at the Naked Man Festival for the first time. Police in Spain arrest a priest for selling viagra. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Your coffee has poop in it. Human leg found on the NYC subway tracks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 21 Feb 2024 23:09:17 +0000

Your coffee has poop in it. Man paid someone to cut off his feet in an insurance scam. Human leg found on the New York subway tracks. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man wearing kilt puts antiques up his rectum. Alabama court decides a frozen embryo is a child.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 20 Feb 2024 23:18:11 +0000

Man wearing kilt caught putting antiques up his rectum. Alabama court rules a frozen embryo is a child. Navy allows sailors to put hands in pockets. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Bedsheet gloryhole trickery gets man jail time. Gang of elderly bank robbers with incontinence.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 19 Feb 2024 23:54:43 +0000

Iran claims ownership of Antarctica. Gang of elderly robbers arrested in Italy. Toronto man gets prison for glory hole trickery. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman carjacks his grandma. Floridaman stole statues to gift his ex on Valentine's Day.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 16 Feb 2024 23:08:36 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman stole statues for ex girlfriend on Valentine's Day. Florida school asks parents permission to have children read to. Florida deputy shoots up his car after mistaking acorn for bullet. Florida man carjacks his own grandma. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Maggots fall on passengers' heads during flight. Stingray is pregnant but who's the daddy?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 15 Feb 2024 23:03:03 +0000

Prisoner's brain is missing. Maggots fall on passengers during Delta flight. A stingray is pregnant but the who's the father? // Alabama prisoner's brain is missing and family not happy. Delta flight turns around after maggots fall on passengers. Pregnant stingray mystery, is the father a shark? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Pastor sold meth out of his Methodist church. Women are all about those AI boyfriends.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 14 Feb 2024 22:59:06 +0000

Free the peach! Protestors in Australia for G String bikini freedom. Pastor arrested for selling crystal meth out of his church. Chinese women are all about AI boyfriends. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Tv show features girl turned into a chicken nugget. Crowd attacks a Robotaxi.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 13 Feb 2024 23:09:45 +0000

Korean tv show features daughter getting turned into a chicken nugget. Amish buggy crash twin sister switcheroo. Crowd lights a robotaxi on fire in San Francisco. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Mutant cancer resistant wolves in Chernobyl. Airline will weigh passengers ahead of takeoff.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 13 Feb 2024 00:39:16 +0000

Mutant cancer resistant wolves at Chernobyl. Airline will start weighing passengers. Man pleasured himself in a Divinity library. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman believes in right to shoot crack bears. Florida patient jiggled genitals for a crowd.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 9 Feb 2024 23:28:53 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman exposes genitals outside hospital for a "second opinion". Florida school issued permission slips for Black History Month lessons. Floridaman assaults his date because they sat next to a gay couple. Florida lawmaker believes in the right to shoot bears on crack. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Climbers must carry own poop down from Mt. Everest. Radio station had their 200 ft tower stolen.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 8 Feb 2024 23:31:41 +0000

Alabama station surprised when their radio tower was stolen. Mount Everest climbers will now have to bring back their own poop. Baggage handler lost job after writing nasty message on passenger's bag. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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"Free Cocaine" samples lead to dealer arrest. Man paints squirrels to find which make the dog bark.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 7 Feb 2024 23:46:04 +0000

New York man painted the squirrels to see which made his dog bark. Hurricanes becoming too strong that a new category is needed. Free samples of cocaine lead police to arrest Calgary dealer. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Dairy Queen meth ring dubbed "Operation Blizzard" bust. Samurai sword swinging man invades Walmart.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 6 Feb 2024 23:19:43 +0000

Screaming samurai sword waving man evacuated a Walmart. Spain and France are embroiled in a tomato war. Police bust a meth ring out of a Texas Dairy Queen. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man shoots at "Ninja like" people for hours. Large inert nuclear missile found in man's garage.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 5 Feb 2024 23:36:19 +0000

Indian authorities release a pigeon they thought was a Chinese spy. Defunct nuclear middle found in man's garage. Georgia man accused of shooting 127 rounds at "Ninja like" people. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida mom's OnlyFans ad on her car featured at kids school. Florida wife does Florida things.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 3 Feb 2024 00:15:22 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman sues Combos for not being cheesy. Florida wife tries to kill husband over postcard from ex he dated in 1960s. Florida mom banned from dropping kids off at school with OnlyFans ad on her car. Florida woman cuts her dog's neck because she was told to do so in a dream. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Adult diaper spa offer therapy in your diaper. Sky Poop leaves locals baffled.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 2 Feb 2024 01:33:45 +0000

Residents complain about the mysterious "Sky Poop". Diaper spa catering to adults raises concerns in New Hampshire town. San Mateo declares loneliness as official health emergency. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Elmo learns that humanity is very depressed right now. Mother pours hot water on her horny son.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 31 Jan 2024 23:54:25 +0000

Surprised woman learns from Google alerts that she's on a presidential ballot as candidate. Mother in Malaysia burns her porn watching son, Elmo, the muppet, asks if we're all okay and we are not, clearly. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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After Super Viagra orgy, man exposed himself at Hungry Jack's. Dead man wakes after pothole hit.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 Jan 2024 23:25:09 +0000

Australian man exposed himself at a Hungry Jack's after his Super Viagra orgy session. Russia wants to build a safe space for conservative Americans to live. Dead man wakes up after ambulance hits a pothole. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Pepperoni vandals strike Jersey home. Health officials warn do not eat fried toothpicks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 29 Jan 2024 23:36:31 +0000

Trillions of cicadas are coming experts warn. NJ home vandalized by pepperoni vandals. Health officials in South Korea warn against eating fried toothpicks. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman anger management therapist murders people. Man tried to sleep with all flight attendants.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 26 Jan 2024 23:28:36 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Man tried to get flight attendants to join Mike High Club on trip to Florida. Floridaman anger therapist killed man and put him in a trunk. Florida approves bill to ban social media for kids under 16. Floridaman fell asleep at the wheel surrounded by Four Loco and stuff. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Amish horse and buggy stolen from Walmart parking lot. Senators propose bringing back duels.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 25 Jan 2024 23:32:29 +0000

Missouri rule change would allow senators to challenge the each other to a duel. Amish horse and buggy stolen from Walmart parking lot. Starbucks fires their hero employees that prevented an armed robbery. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ukrainian woman wins Miss Japan. Metal band apologizes for throwing severed pig's head at a show.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 24 Jan 2024 23:37:44 +0000

Black metal band apologizes for throwing severed pig head at a show. Ukrainian woman wins Miss Japanese pageant. Nude artist says he was groped at the exhibit. // Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - NEW sponsor: Magic Mind https://magicmind.com/JANjonesy use Code:FUNNYJONES20 - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones

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Man stabs neighbor over loud snoring. New bill would ban sexy selfies unless you're married.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 23 Jan 2024 23:15:45 +0000

Man stabs his neighbor over loud snoring feud. Oklahoma bill would ban sending sexy selfies. Teen faces charges for raping fish to ATMs. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - NEW sponsor: Magic Mind https://magicmind.com/JANjonesy use Code:FUNNYJONES20 - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones

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Bigfoot sightings are Black Bears, study shows. Marathon runner disqualified for chain smoking.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 22 Jan 2024 23:18:54 +0000

Indiana man wearing ankle monitor tried to trade drugs for fried pickles at Buffalo Wild Wings. Chinese marathon runner disqualified for chain smoking cigarettes while running. Study finds that BigFoot sightings correlate with Black Bear populations. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - NEW sponsor: Magic Mind https://magicmind.com/JANjonesy CODE: funnyjones20 - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones

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Florida woman tried to use dog pee for drug sample. Man touches himself while stabbing a stranger.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 19 Jan 2024 23:31:40 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman throws Subway sandwich at employee. Floridaman busted for creeping with underwear around neck. Floridaman touches himself in front of stranger before stabbing. Floridaman throws beer and shoots gun because cars speed. Florida woman tried to pass off dog urine as her own. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - Order Magic Mind https://magicmind.com/JANjonesy use CODE: FUNNYJONES20 1month free January offer only. WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones

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Oldest dog ever has title suspended. Passenger trapped in bathroom for entire flight.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 Jan 2024 23:16:33 +0000

Passenger trapped inside airplane bathroom entire flight. Oldest ever dog has title suspended during investigation. Capitol rioter allowed to delay prison time in order to finish work. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Kentucky is very cool with incest. Shaman agrees to stop casting genital spells.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 17 Jan 2024 23:23:04 +0000

Inmate escapes into snowstorm and immediately turns himself back in. Shaman agrees to stop casting genital spells. Kentucky republican proposed bill to make sex with your first cousin no longer incest.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man accuses neighbors of being pirates. Funny highway signs will be banned across US.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 23:24:16 +0000

Man accuses neighbors of being pirates and digs up their yard. US will ban funny highway signs starting this week. Judge in France changes baby's name because it's too weird. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Mexican cartel goes into WiFi business. Man dressed as his girlfriend to take her university test.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 15 Jan 2024 23:30:27 +0000

Indian man dresses up as girlfriend to take her university exam. Gas station heroin is a health concern. Mexican cartel provide WiFi to locals and demand they use it or die. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida inmate claims got pregnant thru air conditioning. Man shoots leaf blower for blowing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 13 Jan 2024 00:10:18 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman shoots roommate in face over puppy. Floridaman shoots leaf blower for blowing. Florida inmate claims she got pregnant from air conditioning vent. Florida school district removed dictionaries for sexual content. Floridaman hides meth in butt cheeks after running over paraplegic bicyclist. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Kentucky invites space aliens to come for a visit. Navajo Nation is against human remains on Moon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 11 Jan 2024 23:37:56 +0000

Navajo Nation is against sending human remains to the moon. Interstellar tourist campaign invites space aliens to visit Kentucky. Man sues 27 women who claim he's a psycho on Facebook. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Sex worker offers military discount for services. Woman granted sperm of her dead husband.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 23:19:38 +0000

Canadian military wanna charge sex worker that offers discount to their soldiers. Presidential campaign in Taiwan fed tide pods to the elderly voters. 62 yo woman granted permission to extract sperm of dead husband. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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She poisoned husband's soup cuz soap opera star told her to. Want glacier ice in your pina colada?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 9 Jan 2024 23:21:35 +0000

Greenland ice company shipping glacier ice to high end bars in Dubai. Vietnam pledges human rights by 2099. Woman convinced to poison her husband by man pretending to he soap opera star. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man killed by falling cow while urinating. Naked Bamaman jumps into Bass Pro Shop aquarium.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 8 Jan 2024 23:28:02 +0000

Woman pretends to work at Waffle House for hours in order to rob them. Indian man struck by a falling cow while urinating. Naked Alabama man jumps into Bass Pro Shop aquarium. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman, his limp package and a dildo assault. Lady hides hot bullets in her hot lady pocket.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 5 Jan 2024 23:43:28 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman assaults girlfriend with pink dildo after insults his limpness. Florida woman hid hot shell casings inside her hot lady pocket. Floridaman sues over exploding Dunkin Donuts toilet. Florida city adopts law requiring dog owners to give their dog exercise. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Best of Weird AF News 2023 - Part 2

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 3 Jan 2024 23:56:57 +0000

Best of Weird AF News 2023 - Part 2 Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Best of Weird AF News 2023 - Part 1

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 2 Jan 2024 22:42:41 +0000

Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.
Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida lady beats boyfriend with Christmas tree. Floridaman in a dress makes pleasure on a porch.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 29 Dec 2023 23:45:50 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman has driveway stolen. Florida woman named Miracle assaulted boyfriend with Christmas tree. Floridaman goes ultra during police chase. Floridaman in a dress breaks into a home with favorite adult toy. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You can keep on pooping, says the mayor. More strollers sold for pets than for infants in 2023.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 28 Dec 2023 23:22:34 +0000

More strollers sold for pets than children in 2023. Woman called 911 and nobody picks up. New Zealand mayor clarified there is no need to stop pooping during sewage crisis. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Bathtub pooping incident by Chinese Chess champion. Spirit Air sends a boy to the wrong city.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 27 Dec 2023 23:26:41 +0000

Spirit Airlines sends unaccompanied boy on the wrong flight for Christmas. Chinese chess champion stripped of title after bathtub defecation. Burger King offers free food if they think you are hungover. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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North Korea wants to be vacation destination. Nativity scene with two Mary's sparks controversy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 23:41:12 +0000

North Korea wants to be a tourist destination. Church nativity scene with two mothers sparks controversy in Italy. Portland airport features llama therapy for stressed holiday travelers. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman claims is Captain America and has guns. Man assaults WaWa employee with spicy chicken.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 22 Dec 2023 23:20:37 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida porch pirate stole packages to give as holiday gifts. Floridaman assaults WaWa employee with spicy chicken. Floridaman tries to break into Air Force Base claims is Captain America. Floridaman burns a child he believed was possessed by a demon. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Surge in unprotected holiday sex warning. Beware of fake clergymen selling air conditioners.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 21 Dec 2023 23:11:15 +0000

Scientists warn of surge in unprotected sex around holidays. Slim Jim says their super car Fast Meat has been stolen. Someone stole a Cardinal's identification to sell air conditioners. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Christmas is a time for penis fractures. Humans fuel global warming just by breathing, says study.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 20 Dec 2023 23:33:28 +0000

Grandma charges family for her annual Christmas feast. Risk of penile fractures rises at Christmas say doctors. Humans are fueling global warming by just breathing study says. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Baby Jesus kidnapped by TikTokers. Teacher gave homework assignment to plan a terror attack.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 23:18:26 +0000

Youngsters kidnapped baby Jesus and demand ransom on TikTok. Baby swept away by tornado found safe on a tree. Teacher in Sweden gave students homework assignment to plan a terrorist attack. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

After School Satan Club at an elementary school? Resurrect your dead loved one with AI avatar.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 18 Dec 2023 23:56:03 +0000

After School Satan Club comes to elementary school. Chinese mourners use AI digital avatars to resurrect their dead loved ones. Ohio man still loves his ex girlfriend after she shot him in the genitals. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida tourist man molested a manatee statue. Floridaman shot up a Christmas parade.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 15 Dec 2023 23:22:32 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman shoots up Christmas parade. Floridaman refused to pay for Waffle House tattoo. Florida scientist couple put their two kids in cages. Florida tourist man sexually molested a manatee statue. Florida lady sang gospel songs and urinated during her DUI arrest. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Family doesn't notice owl in their Xmas tree for days. Cruise line bans couple for balcony fishing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 14 Dec 2023 23:22:25 +0000

Kentucky family doesn't notice owl living in their Xmas tree for days. Carnival cruise bans couple for fishing off balcony. Woman stole Uber driver's car because he drove slow. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Owning a dog makes your brain strong, study shows. Thieves argue lesser sentence cuz items on sale.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 13 Dec 2023 23:36:10 +0000

Man flew from Denmark to Los Angeles without passport or plane ticket. Study finds dog owners reduce risk of dementia. Convicted thieves argue for lesser charge because stolen items were on sale. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Teacher gave pre schoolers "sleepy time" stickers. Man claims he wasn't groping, he was robbing!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 12 Dec 2023 23:08:39 +0000

Teacher accused of giving pre schoolers sleepy time patches. Man accused of groping a woman claims he was only robbing her. Lost space tomato found on ISS. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Passenger smuggles 2 otters and a prairie dog on flight. Krispy Kreme donuts invades France.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 11 Dec 2023 23:24:54 +0000

Passenger caught smuggling 2 otters and a prairie dog on flight. Kristy Kreme Donuts opens in Paris and they love it. Stolen truck returned with apology note and presents. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida woman lit her Tinder date on fire. Florida couple stole a house then put Christmas lights.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 8 Dec 2023 23:31:33 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested for assaulting wife with a sausage. Florida couple stole a house and then setup Christmas lights. Florida woman lit her Tinder date on fire. Floridaman quit his driving gig in middle of transporting prisoners. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Lady shot in butt by her own gun during MRI. Official of Paraguay signs agreement with fake country.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 7 Dec 2023 23:02:39 +0000

Man finds a pea plant growing inside his lung. Woman shot in the buttocks by her own gun during MRI. Paraguay official fired for signing agreement with a fake country. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Woman sentenced to work as fast food employee. Lady caught stealing during Shop with a Cop event.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 6 Dec 2023 23:19:41 +0000

Elderly couple's garden ornament turns out to be a large missile. Woman assaults Chipotle employee and sentenced to work at fast food. Woman caught stealing at Walmart during Shop with a Cop event. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Lady killed during Slap Therapy session. Japan police arrest taxi driver for killing a pigeon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 5 Dec 2023 23:06:48 +0000

Woman killed during Slap Therapy session for her diabetes. Police in Japan arrest taxi driver for killing a pigeon. Man killed by his own knife necklace. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida gf stabs bf in eye for looking at other women. Man claims meth found in undies isn't his.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 2 Dec 2023 00:51:51 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman claims meth in underwear not his own. Floridaman stabs woman cuz he wanted to. Floridaman exposes himself to customers on the lawn job. Florida woman stabbed boyfriend in the eye for looking at other women. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man touches himself at a Kum and Go. Wife punched husband to death for not taking her to Dubai.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 1 Dec 2023 00:07:03 +0000

Man with a headache learns he has chopsticks stuck in his brain. Man arrested for touching himself at a Kun and Go gas station. Wife punches husband to death for not taking her to Dubai. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Serial Pringles can pooper caught. Russian prisoners forced to listen to Bon Jovi and Moby.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 23:08:20 +0000

Ohio lawyer suspended for pooping in Pringle's cans around town. South Korean airlines will soon have to tell passengers not to open the emergency doors. Russian prisoners forced to listen to Bon Jovi and Moby on repeat. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Dog farmers threaten to release 2 million dogs. Space flight causes erectile dysfunction.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Nov 2023 23:32:09 +0000

Space flight leads to erectile dysfunction. South Korean dog farmers threaten to release 2 million dogs. Paralympic athlete groom kills wife and self at his own wedding. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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McDonald's bans teenagers after 6pm. Men break into closed jail, lock themselves in a cell, call 911

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 27 Nov 2023 23:53:48 +0000

Man tried to kill someone for eating all the tacos. 3 men break into a jail and call 911 to get out. McDonald's branch bans teenagers after 6pm. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman gets naughty on neighbor's porches. Floridaman assaults his wife with Oreo cookies.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 Nov 2023 23:09:13 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman attempts to pee in the aisle on a flight. Floridaman arrested for touching himself on porches. Floridaman denied entry to car show and drives over someone. Floridaman attacks wife with Oreo cookies. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Daryl Hall gets restraining order against John Oates. Hospitals remove crucifixes after attacks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Nov 2023 23:12:30 +0000

Catholic hospitals will remove crucifixes after staff attacks. Daryl Hall gets a restraining order against John Oates. Shots fired after a golden shower at the hotel. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Drunken Taco Bell Holiday orgy anyone? Brown Friday is the a plumber's Thanksgiving nightmare.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Nov 2023 00:05:17 +0000

Brown Friday for plumbers. Lawsuit alleges drunken Taco Bell holiday party orgy. Winner of Mega Millions jackpot sues family for telling family. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Helicopters create crocodile orgies? Hospital released the wrong dead bodies to families.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 21:57:34 +0000

Hospital release wrong dead bodies to family members. Helicopters make crocodiles very horny in Australia. Time travel is not possible after all, say scientists. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman poops on a dead possum in public. Woman shoots her sugardaddy in front of his girlfriend.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 Nov 2023 22:33:33 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman shot at her sugar daddy in front of his girlfriend. Florida couple arrested for public sex in a dream come true. Floridaman caught pooping on a dead possum. Floridaman destroys property because he has demons. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Christian Furries judged for being Christian? Marathon runner banned for using a car in a race.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 Nov 2023 22:25:05 +0000

Christian Furries are worried they may be targeted for their faith. New toothpaste could help with peanut allergies. Ultra marathon runner banned for using a car in a race. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Horse gets loose on board a plane. Boy attends his own murder hearing to prove he's in fact alive.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 15 Nov 2023 23:19:00 +0000

Boy attends his own murder hearing to prove he is actually alive. Plane forced to turn around after horse gets loose on board. School district sees 17 sets of twins incoming. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Santa gets a DUI while driving kids on Santa's Train. Murderer released from prison for obesity.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Nov 2023 23:39:59 +0000

Italian murderer released early from prison because he became dangerously obese in prison. Family of Native American man wants to know what happened to his hair. Tennessee man arrested for DUI while driving Santa's Train with kids. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Daycare workers ran children's fight club. CVS replaces toilet paper with pictures of toilet paper.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 13 Nov 2023 23:14:47 +0000

Daycare employees busted running a child fight club. CVS replaces toilet paper with pictures of toilet paper. Funeral home investigated when 189 decaying bodies discovered. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Disney has a "Poop Hallway". Floridaman takes a bath with his 5 alligators.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 10 Nov 2023 23:09:39 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Disney World has a " Poop Hallway" where guests defecate while waiting for rides. Human skull found in a Florida thrift store. Floridaman found with 5 alligators in his bathtub. What's the "Loofah Code"? Hint: it's sexy time in the Villages. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Hiker brings home deadly snake to show the kids. Catholic Church warning about fake priests.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 Nov 2023 23:32:16 +0000

Hiker nearly dies after bringing home poison snake to show the kids. Catholic Church in California warning about fake priests. Why it's normal to see baby puffins thrown off a cliff. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Snake Pizza offered by the Hut. Robot worker kills another human and the robot wars begin!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 Nov 2023 23:24:20 +0000

Pizza Hut offering snake pizza in Hong Kong. Orcas take down an entire yacht. Robot worker kills robot maintenance man in Korea. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

People with tattoos commit more crimes, study says. Cocaine Hippos of Columbia are a problem.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 Nov 2023 23:48:18 +0000

Stolen Dunkin Donuts truck over weekend. Study shows people with tattoos commit crime. Columbia is at war with Pablo Escobar's hippos. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Naked house cleaner is very trusting. man not allowed to wear Gimp suit and hump the street.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 6 Nov 2023 23:21:39 +0000

UK man not allowed to wear Gimp outfit in public. Custodian has sex with school cafeteria items. Naked house cleaner is very trusting. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida police warn of the Booty Patrol. Buy a new roof, get free AR-15 and a free turkey.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 3 Nov 2023 22:15:55 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman brings loaded gun to cafe for Halloween. Florida roof company offers free Turkey and free AR15. Floridaman stole rental car in order to Uber. Florida residents beware of the Booty Patrol. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Volcano owners not liable for visitor safety. Offensive bird names will be replaced by nice ones.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 2 Nov 2023 22:03:52 +0000

Owners of a volcano are not liable for visitor safety says court. Dozens of birds will be renamed in order to not offend. DoorDash says to tip or your food will arrive cold. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Lady identifies as a vampire. Teacher in trouble for yelling "Hail Satan!" in class.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 1 Nov 2023 22:16:15 +0000

Sperm quality harm from smartphone usage. Inside the life of a woman identifying as a vampire. High school teacher on leave for dressing as the devil in class. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Halloween candy should be eaten all at once , say dentists. 50 scariest places in all 50 states.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 31 Oct 2023 22:07:54 +0000

Halloween episode/ Dentist says to eat all the Halloween candy at once for better teeth. 50 scary places in all 50 states. The history of Trick or Treating goes back centuries. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Restaurant will charge $50 child misbehave fee. Man lit himself on fire when the tea arrived late.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 30 Oct 2023 23:24:47 +0000

Restaurant to add $50 surcharge if your kids misbehave. Italian mother wins eviction of her two 40 year old sons. Indian man sets himself on fire over late tea. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman demands all the Viagra or he'll shoot. Floridaman "Games" - Olympics for criminals.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 Oct 2023 23:16:49 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman demands all the viagra from CVS. Floridaman jumps into lagoon at Epcot Disney. Floridaman broke into woman's home and demanded water. Floridaman Games coming in 2024. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man tried to hire prostitute for his horse. Man attacks skateboarder who he thought was a fish.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 26 Oct 2023 22:56:38 +0000

Man attacks skateboarder with a machete because he thought he was a fish. Private police in London help arrest 300 shoplifters. Washington man tried to hire a prostitute for his horse. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Genital examinations of Dollar General employees? Celine Dion music battles torment a town in NZ.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 25 Oct 2023 22:10:53 +0000

Nebraska police will hit rest until they're find who threw out this mattress. Dollar General sued for giving employees medical examinations. New Zealand town tormented by the Celine Dion music speaker battles. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Never pee in the beer even if it tastes like pee. Football coach shot at practice by angry parent.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 24 Oct 2023 22:26:39 +0000

Chinese beer employee caught peeing in the beer. Football coach shot by angry parent. Texas republicans ban pregnant women from using highways. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Skeleton strippers are a Halloween controversy. Priest smashed pumpkins to rid the town of evil.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 23 Oct 2023 22:11:38 +0000

Stripper pole Halloween scene ordered to be removed. Village priest apologizes for the smashing pumpkins. Watertown is all out of water. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida woman stole mom's car and ran her over with it. Lady woke up to maintenance man in her bed.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Oct 2023 22:30:11 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman pulled over driving stolen street sweeper. Floridaman used a bad sign to avoid his arrest. Florida woman found maintenance man in her bed. Florida woman stole her mom's car and ran her over with it. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones - New Sponsor: https://magicmind.co/weirdaf use code: WEIRDAF20

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Dead guy was mistaken for Halloween decoration. School hires an AI Robot teacher.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 19 Oct 2023 22:13:31 +0000

Dead body mistaken for Halloween decoration by landscapers. M&M's will deliver emergency Halloween candy if you run out. British private school employees an AI Robot Headteacher. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones - NEW sponsor: https://magicmind.co/weirdaf - use code: WEIRDAF20

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Bomb? Nope. Turns out it's an adult diaper. Man faked over 20 heart attacks for free meals.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 18 Oct 2023 22:44:56 +0000

Bomb scare on flight turns out to be an adult diaper. Man arrested for sex with a stuffed animal. Man fakes over 20 heart attacks to get free meals at restaurants. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones NEW sponsor - https-//magicmind.co/weirdaf - use code- WEIRDAF20

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Circumcised? Foreskin regeneration is here! Workers steal customer credit cards to bail out inmates.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 17 Oct 2023 22:49:28 +0000

Hardee's employees stole customer credit card numbers to bail out jail inmates. Foreskin generation is gonna be big business. California did not ban Skittles but did ban. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones NEW Sponsor - https://magicmind.co/weirdaf and use code: WEIRDAF20

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Would you get married at a McDonald's? Family removes Halloween decoration to appease sick neighbor.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 16 Oct 2023 22:27:33 +0000

German couple marries at McDonald's for the ultimate American wedding. Amateur astronomers are suing the telescope industry. Family takes down Halloween decorations to please dying neighbor. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones - New sponsor Magic Mind - https://magicmind.co/WeirdAF and use code WEIRDAF20

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman stole a car at his job interview. Teacher shows 4th graders Winnie the Pooh horror film.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 13 Oct 2023 22:21:12 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman assaults with dog poop. Florida teacher plays a horror film for kids. Floridaman stole a car at a job interview. Floridaman stole 3 bottles of vodka. Floridaman hates police helicopters. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Making love to a cucumber on meth? Catch a UFO on your security camera and win $1 million.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 12 Oct 2023 22:39:58 +0000

School Bus driver caught drinking on the job days she didn't know White Claw had alcohol. Man caught in public masturbation with meth and cucumbers. Ring camera offers $1million prize for video proof of UFOs. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Amish caught with cell phones during emergency alert. Cop in trouble for being an OnlyFans model.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 11 Oct 2023 22:13:51 +0000

Police officer recognized as OnlyFans model during traffic stop. Amish men caught with cell phones during emergency alert. 104 year old woman dies days after breaking sky diving record. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Robot Super Wolves protect Japan against bears. Free "emergency" pizza from Domino's?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 10 Oct 2023 22:25:25 +0000

Pilot does cocaine before a flight. Robot Super Wolves are protecting Japan against bear attacks. Dominoes is giving away free "emergency" pizzas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Lady smuggles giraffe poop into US to make jewelry. Puke penalty if you throw up your brunch.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 9 Oct 2023 22:44:29 +0000

Puke penalty if your throw up your brunch. Box of giraffe poop seized at US border. Rhode Island man shot 80 hawks to protect the squirrels. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman car jacked on first date. Floridaman busted for illegal erectile dysfunction pills.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 6 Oct 2023 22:43:54 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman caught selling illegal E D pills. Floridaman burns McDonald's employee with coffee. Floridaman pulled a knife over skillet cleaning method. Florida woman celebrates 100th birthday at Hooters. Floridaman invoked with a first date car jacking. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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China is taking back all their pandas. Police in Mexico arrest a Chucky doll for robbery.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 5 Oct 2023 22:27:52 +0000

France has a big bedbug crisis. China is taking back all the pandas from US zoos. Mexico police arrest a Chucky doll for robbery. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Gay marriages may be blessed according to Pope. Texas family terrorized by a huge pig.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 4 Oct 2023 22:22:57 +0000

Texas family accosted by huge pig. Pope Francis says you could bless gay marriages if you wanted to. Woman riding lawnmower struck by wing of a plane. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Emotional support alligator not allowed in stadium? Can you sell a jaguar in a Texas parking lot?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 3 Oct 2023 21:55:02 +0000

Costco sells gold bars for some reason. Emotional support alligator denied entry into MLB game. Couple caught selling jaguar in the parking lot of sporting goods store. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man drives into police station while playing Guns N' Roses. Fat Bear Week may be in danger!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 2 Oct 2023 22:36:10 +0000

Doctors find 60 items in man's stomach after pain complaints. Will government shut down affect Fat Bear Week? Man drove through police station while playing Guns N' Roses. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman bakes cocaine cookies and murders. Man burglarizes while pooping on a boat.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 29 Sep 2023 22:20:53 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman robs and poops on a boat. Floridaman touches himself in a hot tub in his birthday. Floridaman attacked by rabid otter. Florida children stole mom's car to escape to California. Floridaman murders in a squatter home and is caught with cocaine cookies. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Erectile dysfunction cured with spider venom! Hospital props up dead woman to appear alive.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 28 Sep 2023 22:12:58 +0000

Scientists hope spider venom will help with erectile dysfunction. Oklahoma church is canceled after pastor performed in blackface. Woman propped up to appear alive for her family after already declared dead. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Airlines is sorry for searching female genitalia. Can you legally record a crazy person in Target?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 27 Sep 2023 22:34:28 +0000

Qatar airlines says they will no longer conduct invasive examinations on female passengers. Is it illegal to record people going nuts in a Target? Unknown virus discovered at the bottom of the deepest ocean. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Sheep's eat 600 pounds of cannabis. Tinder has a $500 month tier to avoid common folk.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 26 Sep 2023 22:14:23 +0000

Hungry sheep eat 600 pounds of cannabis in Greece. Tinder launches $500 month elite level. Filipino airport officer caught on camera eating a passenger cash. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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AIDS sculpture looking like an Anus causes stir. Police warn that 20 naked guys are out there.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 25 Sep 2023 22:35:09 +0000

Palm Springs residents upset that the proposed AIDS monument looks like an anus. Police in Japan warn there's 20 naked men somewhere. Priest in trouble for installing newer taps in church. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman invents the McTweeker breakfast sandwich. Lady stole alligator for birthday photo shoot.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 22 Sep 2023 22:20:56 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman shot by police while celebrating new gun law. Florida woman stole an alligator for a photo shoot. Floridaman hides meth inside McDonald's breakfast sandwich. Floridaman torched a car that belongs to his girlfriend/cousin. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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People who identify as dogs gather to bark. Study shows eating cheese is good for your brain.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 21 Sep 2023 22:48:24 +0000

Cheese consumption is good for your brain study says. Hundreds of people identifying as dogs gather in Berlin. Boot throwing record broken at National Ploughing event. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Can you name your baby Methamphetamine? Teacher fired for reading Anne Frank diary to class.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 20 Sep 2023 22:07:09 +0000

Can you name your baby Methamphetamine? Danish artist has to return money to museum after submitting blank canvas as art. Texas teacher fired for reading Anne Frank diary in class. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Anti Glasses influencer says just put essential oils in your eyes. Custody battle over a cat?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 22:39:27 +0000

Cat at center of a custody battle. Space drug factory not allowed back to Earth. Anti glasses influencer says you don't need glasses to see. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

US military needs help finding missing stealth fighter jet. Police taze band director for playing.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 18 Sep 2023 22:15:07 +0000

US military wants public help finding missing stealth fighter jet. Police investigate pop up bar for the homeless. High school band director arrested for refusing to stop playing music.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida mom leaves child to swim with sharks. Floridaman pulls a gun on faster internet.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 15 Sep 2023 23:16:24 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman pulls gun on the cable crew. Floridaman rams his truck through pharmacy. Floridaman hangs Nazi banners over a highway. Florida woman leaves her child in the car to swim with sharks. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Alien corpses on display during Mexico Congress. Cursed haunted painting sold on EBay.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 14 Sep 2023 22:04:58 +0000

Alien Corpses shown to Mexican congress for some reason. McDonald's getting rid of the self serve soda machines. Cursed painting goes on sale at auction. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones Hire Jonesy on Cameo http://cameo.com/comedianjonesy

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Man broke into a daycare and pretended to be a baby girl. Coke launches beverage created using AI.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 13 Sep 2023 22:05:16 +0000

Surgeon suspended for requesting genital examinations. Coca-Cola launches new beverage created using Artificial Intelligence. Man arrested for breaking into a daycare and pretending to be a baby. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Red wine floods an entire town in Portugal. World Lying Down Competition still going after weeks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 12 Sep 2023 22:05:17 +0000

Farting dog on the plane sort of causes mayhem. Town in Portugal flooded by red wine. Lying Down Contest goes on for weeks. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Synthetic Alcohol is coming and without the hangover. Teen dies after taking the One Chip Challenge.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 11 Sep 2023 22:41:36 +0000

Laxatives are flying off the shelves in the US. Synthetic alcohol has none of the negative side effects. Teen dies after taking the One Chip Challenge. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman arrested while crossing the ocean in giant hamster wheel. Lady chokes fiance with feet.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 8 Sep 2023 22:25:54 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Tiny Florida woman chokes Fiance with her feet. Floridaman attacks employees with Snickers bars. Nazis march in Florida. Florida woman stole an ambulance. Floridaman arrested while attempting to cross the ocean in giant hamster wheel. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Sexting nun tells the Vatican where to go. Diarrhea on the plane! Diarrhea on the plane!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 7 Sep 2023 22:03:21 +0000

Sexting nun faces excommunication. Flight turns around after passenger gets the serious diarrhea conditions. Hacker uses ransomware to lock people in their chastity belts. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Professor with a clown fetish had students paint faces. Radioactive wild pigs wreaking havoc.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 6 Sep 2023 22:25:36 +0000

Texas school singles out students that are menstruating. Radioactive wild pigs wreak havoc in Germany. Professor asked students to paint their face for his clown fetish. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Rat Tours are popular with New York City tourists. Two arrested for breaking the Great Wall of China

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 5 Sep 2023 22:09:55 +0000

Teen accused of biting testicles at the club. Two people arrested in China for breaking open the Great Wall. Tourists in New York City are taking Rat Tours. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida women clog toilet, then battle fast-food employees. Floridaman claims to be the Joker...

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 1 Sep 2023 22:08:03 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida fight at chicken spot after 5 women clog the toilet. Floridaman thief claims he's not good at shoplifting. Floridaman donated 150 gallons of blood over decades. Floridaman paints himself white, claims to be the Joker with a crowbar. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Airlines offers "Adult Only" zones - no babies allowed. Fake surgeon and penis enlargement botch.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 22:03:40 +0000

Airline offers an Adults Only Zone to keep babies away. Fake plastic surgeon botched penis enlargement surgery. San Francisco city official resigns after offering a doom and gloom downtown walking tour. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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"Beer Goggles" is a myth according to science. Burger King sued for Whopper not being Whopper-like.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 30 Aug 2023 22:16:26 +0000

Burger King sued because Whopper is not Whopper enough. Astronomers hopeful they will get a response from message sent 40 years ago. Drinking alcohol does not result in Beer Goggles according to study. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Dog buys an apartment, realtor gets arrested. Woman has 3 inch worm pulled from her confused brain.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 29 Aug 2023 22:05:48 +0000

Australian woman has 3 inch worn pulled from her brain. Man found $5k in a bag next to a bank and kept it. Realtor arrested for selling an apartment to a dog. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Teacher arrested in classroom with cup full of wine. Watermelons are exploding and here's why.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 28 Aug 2023 22:59:32 +0000

Watermelons are exploding but why? Man robs McDonald's with 3 parrots. Teacher pulled from classroom with a cup full of wine. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman is "The reason the beer's always gone". Woman poisons her date with cockroach spray.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 25 Aug 2023 22:07:24 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman DUI in the perfect tee shirt. Florida woman poisoned her dates drink with cockroach spray. Floridaman proposes with a hot dog at wiener stand. Floridaman sprays chemical opioid under neighbors front door. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Astrologer arrested for telling thieves best TIME to rob. Playground slides and bear mace don't mix.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 24 Aug 2023 23:05:12 +0000

Alabama police arrest cop for stealing Pokémon cards from Walmart. Children injured from bear mace on a playground slide. Astrologer assists thieves in a robbery. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man arrested for stealing neighbor's front porch. Man used dead brother's identity for 50 years.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 23 Aug 2023 22:32:09 +0000

Man stole his brother's identity and used it for 50 years. Georgia man arrested for stealing neighbor's entire front porch. Bird dropped a fish onto power lines and town lost all electricity. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Study Uranus and help out NASA. Russia's first moon mission in decades results in a crash.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 22 Aug 2023 23:53:27 +0000

Russia's first moon mission in decades crashes. Lots of Spam donated to Maui following fires. NASA wants your help studying Uranus. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Passengers having sex in driverless Robo-taxis. Please don't pose naked with the sunflowers.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 21:57:11 +0000

Passengers are having sex in driverless robotaxis. Farmers want us to not pose naked in the sunflower fields. German clergy caught using porn sites. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida criminal pours Mountain Dew on herself to "hide DNA" evidence. Woman had stripper dreams.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 18 Aug 2023 23:22:47 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman shoots friend in legs so it won't kill him. Floridaman can't rob a Wendy's or a bank. Florida stripper was inspired by her mom stripper. Florida woman douses herself in Mountain Dew to remove crime DNA. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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No more gay watches in Malaysia. Drunk Americans trapped overnight in the Eiffel Tower.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 17 Aug 2023 23:47:03 +0000

No gay watches in Malaysia. Two drunk Americans trapped overnight on Eiffel Tower. This Airbnb comes with a blind dog that takes you to the beach. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Gay Pop Tarts are a threat to the kids? Dying wife asks husband if she can sleep with her ex.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 16 Aug 2023 21:33:53 +0000

Gay Pop Tarts are a threat to the the kids, says a stupid person. Dying wife asks husband if she can sleep with her ex. Fukushima radiation waste water to be released into ocean. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Sex in space is possible but should you? Train company uses aromatherapy to soothe angry passengers.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 22:11:44 +0000

German railway is using aromatherapy on trains to soothe the angry passengers. Sex in space will be featured as space tourism increases. Argentina cracks down on cash destruction by visiting soccer fans. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Store evacuated by painful erection causing spider. Russia considering chemical castrations.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 14 Aug 2023 22:18:21 +0000

Swimmers get diarrhea at triathlon event. Russia may use chemical castration for paedophiles. Store evacuated by a spider whose bite causes long painful elections. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida - where you go fishing and catch cocaine! Schools remove Shakespeare for sexual content.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 11 Aug 2023 22:21:03 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman selling F-16 fighter jet online. Florida mayor finds cocaine while fishing. Florida schools remove Shakespeare for sexual content. Florida divers find 32 sunken cars in a lake. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Order the Hitler Fries and Anne Frank Burger. Save some money and share a bed with a stranger.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 10 Aug 2023 22:03:42 +0000

Fast food restaurant sells Anne Frank Burger and Hitler fries. Bedmates are very common among broke Chinese jobless youth. Mattel offers good pay to play UNO. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Lady attacked by a snake and a hawk at the same time. Man broke into homes to rub lady feets.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 9 Aug 2023 22:41:25 +0000

California man broke into homes to rub women's feet. Texas woman attacked by a snake and a hawk at same time. Loch Ness center wants to recruit a generation of monster hunters.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Trans woman wants her testicles back from ex. Nut allergy passenger bought all the nuts on flight.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 8 Aug 2023 22:17:41 +0000

Italian man crushed to death by thousands of wheels of cheese. Trans woman says her ex boyfriend keeps her testicles in his refrigerator. Airline passenger with nut allergy purchased all the nuts on her flight to protect herself. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Pet all the dogs! Doctors say so! Man stabs another through the head with an American flag.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 7 Aug 2023 22:19:53 +0000

Petting other people's dogs boosts your health. Half of US beaches have toxic fecal contamination. Man stabs another in the head with America flag. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida is Leprosy capital of US. Manager of Florida Chipotle is sleeping with all the husbands.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 4 Aug 2023 22:02:54 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida chipotle manager sleeps with everybody's husband? Florida is the Leprosy capital of the US. Candyman busted for selling drugs from a food truck in Florida. Floridaman threatens to blow up an airport after misses flight. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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It's National Grab Your Nuts Day! Bury yourself in a hot pink Barbie themed coffin.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 3 Aug 2023 22:33:22 +0000

Woman in blackface terrorizes Target and Starbucks. Pink Barbie themed coffins are very popular lately. National Grab Some Nuts Day. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Science discovered the perfect swear word. Hire a celebrity to quit your job for you.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 2 Aug 2023 22:06:33 +0000

Tiktok trend of eating Borax in your smoothies. People hiring celebrities to quit their jobs for them. The perfect swear word has been discovered. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Zoo denies their bears are not humans wearing costumes. FatCon is coming to Philadelphia.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 1 Aug 2023 22:05:36 +0000

Real estate agent fined $20k for drinking milk out of home owners fridge. FatCon is coming to Philly for and by fat people. Chinese zoo denies the bears are humans wearing costumes. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man spent $14k to become a dog. Scientists bring back to life a worm frozen for 46,000 years.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 31 Jul 2023 22:16:54 +0000

French woman hit by a meteorite while chilling on her terrace. Man spent $14k to become a dog but he's okay. Scientists bring back to life a worm frozen for 46,000 years. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cocaine Sharks in Florida! Woman shot her husband's genitals over air conditioning.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 28 Jul 2023 22:23:22 +0000

Florida Friday - Manatee dies after intense brotherly lovemaking. Florida woman charged after biting girls ear off. Florida woman shot ex in genitals over air conditioning. Cocaine Sharks off the coast of Florida? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Americans are not having sex and here's why. Airline served passengers Kentucky Fried Chicken.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 27 Jul 2023 22:02:13 +0000

Number of Americans not having sex is at an all time high. British Airways served passengers KFC on a flight. Woman claimed she won billion dollar Powerball jackpot but was lying to get on television. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Largest breast donation in world history. Lady divorced her Victorian soldier ghost over his obsession with Marilyn Monroe.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 26 Jul 2023 21:49:14 +0000

Oregon woman broke the world record for largest breast milk donation. Woman in France arrested to tearing off her partner's genitals during an argument. British singer divorced her handome Victorian soldier ghost after he became obsessed with Marylin Monroe. //

Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Adults work as "full time children" in China. Couple threatens to stage a hunger strike over pickleball noises.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 25 Jul 2023 21:23:42 +0000

Facing job scarcity in China, some adults are working for their parents as "full time children". Texas woman arrested in Dubai for screaming. B.C. couple threatens a hunger strike over pickleball court noises near their home.

Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast in the world. Hosted by a comedian inside a closet. Follow Jonesy - http://instgram.com/funnyjones - support the show by joining the Patreon - http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - Visit the official website https://weirdafnews.com

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Florida schools will teach slavery was awesome for slaves. Floridaman hides ammo behind his balls.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 21 Jul 2023 22:54:31 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman hides his ammo behind his balls. Floridaman jailed after having drugs in a place. Floridaman gives vasectomies to peacocks. Floridaman stole a horse while riding a bike. Florida schools will soon teach that slavery was awesome for the slaves. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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You can't get your Butt Drugs any more. Man decorated home with human body parts.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 20 Jul 2023 23:36:03 +0000

Sailor and dog survive months in pacific. Butt Drugs will close up shop after 71 years. Man decorated his apartment with body parts. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Police will not longer drink on their lunch break. French government wants to see your junk pics.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 19 Jul 2023 22:21:22 +0000

France passes law allows police to turn on any phone cameras. Lack of economically attractive men to blame for decline in marriage rate. Toronto police closing their headquarters bar. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Tourists are rushing to Death Valley to fry like bacon. Doctors reattach a boy's decapitated head.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 18 Jul 2023 22:14:00 +0000

Tourists rush to Death Valley to fry themselves in record heat. Hong Kong citizens urged to give smokers the death stare. Doctors reattach a boy's decapitated skull. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Free whale slaughter viewing with every cruise. Man loves running while on fire, breaks records.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 17 Jul 2023 21:59:31 +0000

Man set world record for running while on fire. Japanese woman makes over 2,700 false emergency calls. Cruise line apologized after whales are slaughtered in front of passengers. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Meth found in soy sauce at Florida steak house. Free pizza? Not if I shoot you! Says Floridaman.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 14 Jul 2023 22:42:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman road rages and throws things. Largest python ever caught. Florida steak house shuts after meth found in soy sauce. Floridaman threatened to shoot over free pizza. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Mayor married an alligator to keep the peace. In Italy you can grope a woman for under 10 seconds.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 13 Jul 2023 22:17:28 +0000

Judge in Italy rules that groping is a crime if it's longer than ten seconds. Mexican mayor married an alligator named Alicia. Third of Americans are getting "sleep divorced". // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.
LISTEN on Podurama! - HTTPS://podurama.com
Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones

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Burger King offers cheeseburger with 20 slices of cheese. Dumpling eating contests are illegal here.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 12 Jul 2023 22:13:34 +0000

Chinese restaurant in trouble after offering dumpling eating contest. Boston library received overdue book 119 years later. Burger King Thailand introduces cheeseburger with 20 slices of cheese and no meat. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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New term for "vagina" could be "bonus hole"? Tiktok boat jump challenge leads to death.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 11 Jul 2023 22:53:52 +0000

Tiktok boat jumping challenge is taking lives. Scientists discover heat blob on the moon. Health professionals urged to call the vagina a "bonus hole". // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Vampire facials linked to HIV cases. Robots say they will not steal our jobs or murder us.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 10 Jul 2023 22:31:43 +0000

Robots said they won't steal our jobs and murder us. HIV cases linked to Vampire Facials. Couple fight in the street over a duck. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Meth lab found at Florida Welcome Center. Woman arrested with a crack pipe and a baby raccoon?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 7 Jul 2023 22:17:56 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Meth lab found at Florida Welcome Center. Florida woman ate the most wieners in July 4th. Florida rich lady left her mansion to 7 cats. So many new bad laws went into affect in Florida on July 1. Florida police find crack pipe and baby raccoon in woman's backpack. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Giant hot elephant balls are fighting cancer. McDonald's offers catering for your wedding.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 6 Jul 2023 22:05:44 +0000

Man addicted to cheese has eaten $60k plus worth of cheddar. McDonald's offers catering for your wedding reception in Indonesia. Elephants' giant hot testicles may be their protection against cancer. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Drugs fall from the sky in France. Woman with 800 tattoos wonders why no one hires her.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 5 Jul 2023 21:43:08 +0000

Drugs fall on the French countryside after fighter jet interception. Woman with 800 tattoos complained she can't get employment. South Koreans become a year younger following new law change. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman shotguns a Twisted Tea with baby gator. Floridaman punches man over his crack quality.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 30 Jun 2023 22:59:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY- Floridaman shot at his pool cleaner. Florida sherif asks criminals to chill out while it's hot. Two Florida men arrested for sex on the boat ramp. Floridaman shotguns a Twisted Tea with baby alligator. Floridaman punched a man after not being satisfied with crack quality. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Fan throws her mom's cremated ashes on stage at Pink concert. Oldest image of a pizza discovered.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 29 Jun 2023 22:05:15 +0000

Ancient fresco of a pizza discovered in Italy. Fan throws her mom's ashes at Pink on stage. Microscopic LB handbag sells for $60k at auction. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Gimme all your money! I mean, let's go on a date. Mom's apologize for quoting Hitler.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 28 Jun 2023 22:21:27 +0000

Robber mugs woman at gunpoint and then asks her on a date. Moms of Liberty apologize for quoting Hitler. Man dies after drinking all the cocktails. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Sorry for the naked guy tied up in the moving truck! Pump your own gas in Oregon and not be arrested

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 27 Jun 2023 22:01:12 +0000

Moving company apologizes for naked dude tied up in the truck video. Cherry picking event canceled cuz the birds at Em all. Oregon ends it's 72 year ban on pumping your own gas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Family selling a cat that grants wishes. Make sweet love in the Church hotel?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 26 Jun 2023 22:07:03 +0000

Lab grown meat approved for sale in US. Family is selling their cat that grants wishes. Empty churches in Europe turned into breweries and hotels. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Meth Island shut down by Florida police. Floridaman arrested while drinking Floridaman Beer.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 23 Jun 2023 22:05:19 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Black bear chilling at a Florida beach is normal. Giant African Snails invading Florida is not that normal. Floridaman arrested while drinking Floridaman Beers. Florida police are shutting down Meth Island. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Bus 666 to HEL has been canceled. Flight attendant makes bomb threat to stop her ex's vacation.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 22 Jun 2023 22:47:31 +0000

Pittsburg Pirates baseball team bus driver gets DUI while driving team to new city. Flight attendant makes a bomb threat to stop her ex from flying to Miami with new lover. Bus 666 to HEL had to change their number after Christians complained. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Fake priest hired by restaurant to find thieves. Lady refuses to take down her giant werewolf.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 22:17:17 +0000

Woman refuses to remove her giant werewolf. Taco restaurant hired fake priest to trick employees into confession. Rampant groundwater removal is tilting the Earth axis. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Search is on for missing Titanic tourist submarine. Gold bar vending machines are popular in Korea.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 22:17:11 +0000

Titanic tourist submarine has gone missing. Humans are inhaling a lot of micro plastics. Gold bar vending machines in Korea. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man fakes his own death to teach his family a lesson. Gas station clerk asked a friend to rob him.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 19 Jun 2023 22:55:38 +0000

Gas station clerk asked friend to rob the store in order to go home early. 28 year old woman poses as 17 year old high school student for entire school year. Man fakes his own death to teach his family appreciation. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman gets bit by relative, gets flesh eating disease. Best nude beach in the world....Florida?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 16 Jun 2023 23:24:51 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman jumped into alligator exhibit at Busch Gardens. Floridaman stabbed roommate over bathroom. Floridaman gets flesh eating disease after he's bit by a relative. Florida has #1 nude beach in the world. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Egypt bans all dog breeds except ten. Hundreds attend church service led by an A.I.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 22:48:29 +0000

Hundreds attend church service led by Artificial Intelligence chatGPT avatar. Egypt bans all dog breeds except 10. Walgreens new store has only two aisles for safety. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Dead woman wakes up in the coffin at her own wake. Mysterious anonymous free food deliveries.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 14 Jun 2023 22:13:34 +0000

Dead woman wakes up at her own funeral. L.A. residents angry about the unwanted free food deliveries. Orcas are attacking ships with a specific strategy and purpose. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We are all drinking dinosaur pee! Female only Korean spa has to allow dongs in the shower.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 13 Jun 2023 22:42:36 +0000

We are all drinking dinosaur urine. Korean spa ordered to remove the biological women restrictions. After plane crashes 4 children survive 40 days in Amazon jungle. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Porn star accidentally hired for Little Mermaid movie. Family stuck with 1 million pennies.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 12 Jun 2023 22:58:10 +0000

Family finds 1 million pennies in a basement. Disney accidentally hired a porn star for Little Mermaid film. Man is sued by blind date after not paying for her 23 relatives. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman assaults with chicken wings. Floridaman claims he is a ghost, breaks into family home.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 9 Jun 2023 22:20:50 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman gets restraining order for attacking wife with chicken wings. Floridaman ate the donuts out of a bear trap. Florida woman likes Pepperspray. Floridaman walks into home claims he is a ghost. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

3 severed heads were left on employee's desk. In Japan you can hire agency to quit your job for you.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 8 Jun 2023 22:05:57 +0000

In Japan you can hire an agency to quit your job for you. Fast food drive thrus are using AI technology. 3 severed heads were left on employees desk // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man steals sex toys from homes to give as birthday presents. Robots suck at making pizza.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 7 Jun 2023 22:32:52 +0000

Robot pizza startup can't keep the cheese on. Man breaks into homes to steal sex toys. Apple finally fixes ducking autocorrect on iPhone. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cupcake stealing bears dealt a deadly blow. Man fired from job for being on the toilet all day.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 6 Jun 2023 22:54:24 +0000

Lawmakers approve deadly force to kill bears in Connecticut. Man fired from job for being in toilet 6 hours a day. Woman hired a hitman online to kill her hiking partners wife. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cocaine in a hotdog leads to fast food employee arrest. Lady murders just to "see what it's like".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 5 Jun 2023 22:01:46 +0000

Sonic employee arrested after customer bites into a cocaine hot dog. True crime fan commits murder to see what it's like. Sweden declares sex as a sport and will host the championships. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman breaks into home to hide from a ghost. Floridaman in cat pajamas stabs roommate.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 2 Jun 2023 22:58:04 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman breaks into home to hide from a ghost. Floridaman brings big sword into a medical center. Floridaman in cat pajamas stab's roommate. Floridaman 14 years old won National spelling bee. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Passengers must weigh themselves before boarding flights. Taylor Swift fans wear diapers to shows.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 1 Jun 2023 22:07:48 +0000

Air New Zealand now weighs passengers before boarding. Taylor Swift fans wear adult diapers to her long concerts. Pizza company is letting customers buy now and pay when they're dead. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Family adopts 6 yo, turns out to be angry adult. Student lists his high school for sale on Zillow.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 31 May 2023 22:38:24 +0000

Family adopts 6 year old only to find out she's an adult with dwarfism. Canada issues grim warning of US tourism travel. High School listed for sale on Zillow as part of senior prank. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Fart Spray prank leads to criminal charges. Toddler imprisoned for parents' Bible possession.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 May 2023 22:05:17 +0000

Fart Spray prank leads to high school student criminal charges. North Korea i prisons a child over Bible. US is giving away free lighthouses. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman "Time Traveler" throws brick at a baby. Man loses arm to a gator after peeing behind bar.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 26 May 2023 22:15:19 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida goes out to pee and loses arm to gator. Floridaman poses as wrestling coach to infiltrate high school gym. Shark flies out of water and bites Floridaman. Floridaman throws brick at a baby and claims he a time traveler. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Public sex? Not if we cut down all the trees! Drivers carry guns on new rideshare app.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 25 May 2023 22:51:07 +0000

Landlord burns down apartment to We Didn't Start the Fire. City cuts down all trees to stop public sex. New rideshare app where drivers carry guns. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Doctor has the janitor assist in amputation procedure. NASA sending robot snakes to explore space.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 24 May 2023 22:37:56 +0000

Doctor fired for allowing janitor to assist on amputation procedure. NASA will soon send robot snakes to Jupiter. High School yearbook documents sex and drugs and booze escapades. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man shot roommate for eating last Hot Pocket. Topless Jeep Weekend in Texas goes as expected.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 23 May 2023 22:07:21 +0000

Man shoots roommate for eating his Hot Pocket. City of Kyle's falls short of the name world record. Over 200 arrested at Texas Topless Jeep Beach Week. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

No gay nuns for Pride Day because that's too gay. The dog poo capital of the US is....

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 22 May 2023 22:08:22 +0000

Transplant patient view her own heart inside a museum. Seattle is the dog poop capital of the US. Dodgers remove the gay nuns for Pride Day. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman attacks police officer with meat. Florida teacher in trouble for showing a Disney film with a gay character.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 19 May 2023 21:59:52 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman attacks a cop with meat. Floridaman shoots another over game of Checkers. Florida teacher in trouble for showing a Disney film with a gay character. Floridaman sets a record for consecutive days living underwater. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man claims his dog was driving to get out of DUI. Man banned from being near women in public.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 May 2023 22:00:17 +0000

London man banned from standing near women in public. FBI charges man in theft of famous ruby slippers man accused of DUI swapped places with his dog. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Priests will wear QR codes to show sex offenders. Schools to ban chocolate milk in cafeterias.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 17 May 2023 22:23:57 +0000

China fines comedian $2m for insulting government. Chocolate milk soon to be banned in US schools. French Catholic priests to wear QR code so public can see which are sex offenders. //Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Are you stressed? Try a British accent! Forgot how to smile? Take our smiling seminar!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 16 May 2023 22:01:01 +0000

Young Americans using British accent to lower anxiety. Man bungles Subway robbery by asking for all the bread. Smiling practice seminars are popular in Japan following mask mandates. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

City bans dog barking at the dog park. Pizzeria shut down after lacing food with cannabis.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 15 May 2023 21:38:33 +0000

Montreal bans barking at the dog park. Cannabis pizzeria shit down for lacing food with cannabis. Buy contact lenses that "saw" a Taylor Swift concert for $10k. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida teacher lets student hit her vape pen. Dude hits lady in bed after getting her name wrong.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 12 May 2023 22:26:27 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman White Boy Rick punches woman during sex. Alligator mating season is here! Florida teacher let her student hit the vape. Florida will pave their roads with radioactive waste. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man opens store selling crack, meth and cocaine. Dangerous rabbit attacks residents in small town.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 11 May 2023 22:26:04 +0000

Man arrested for opening drug store selling heroin cocaine meth and crack. Gang arrested for selling fake glasses that showed naked people. Dangerous rabbit attacking residents in Iowa. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Knee bolognese! Influencer eats pieces of her own body. Girl fakes a kidnapping cuz college is hard.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 10 May 2023 22:05:51 +0000

Influencer ate piece of her own knee in a homemade bolognese. Woman faked her own abduction as a way to cover up her dropping out of college. Japanese city removes street piano after disrupting performances. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Lady murders husband then writes a grief book for children. Lady survives days in outback on wine.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 9 May 2023 22:25:37 +0000

Woman murders husband then writes grief book for her children. Starbucks new olive oil coffee makes everyone poop a lot. Missing Australian woman survives 5 days in the Bush on wine and lollipops. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Free toe sucking included in your hotel stay. Man goes on a date, gets tied up in the woods.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 8 May 2023 22:25:49 +0000

Hotel guest wakes up to the manager sucking his toes. Ice cream stand opens outside the gates of Auschwitz. Man rescued from forest after sex game gone wrong. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman defecates on romantic rival's car. Trans lifeguard bares breasts during audition.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 5 May 2023 22:09:04 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY- Floridaman defecates on rivals car. Florida woman sues gay men's nudist resort. Floridaman wins an all female poker tournament. Trans Florida lady shows her breasts at lifeguard training. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man shoots his friend after thinking he's a turkey. Giant mound of cooked pasta found in a forest.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 4 May 2023 22:15:46 +0000

Man shot after being mistaken for Turkey. Giant mound of cooked pasta found in the woods of New Jersey. Forest fungi speak to each other after it rains. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Lady has an orgasm at a classical music concert. Man drills holes in his own skull to get high.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 3 May 2023 22:05:01 +0000

Zoo hires people to dress up like birds to scare seagulls. Man drills holes in his skull to stay high always. Woman has orgasm at the LA philharmonic live performance. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Landlords can be naked on the property court rules. Cockfighting is big business in Hawaii.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 2 May 2023 22:22:09 +0000

Naked landlord wins the right to be naked on the property. Another American Airlines passengers urinates on people. Hawaii's cockfight industry is big business. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man performs sex act with a seagull in an alley. Dwarf Bullfighting banned in Spain.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 1 May 2023 22:57:50 +0000

Dwarf Bullfighting banned in Spain. Man returns to his date after leaving to shoot the parking lot attendant. Man caught performing a sex act with a seagull in a alley. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman says it's not heroin it's Guatemalan chili powder. Florida teacher loves slavery.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 29 Apr 2023 00:04:15 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman strangles woman over religious video. Floridaman says not heroin it's chili powder. Floridaman dies on cruise and then melts. Florida teacher likes slavery and shows the children. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Sperm injecting robots are fathering children. Town forces argumentative parents to umpire games.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 27 Apr 2023 22:29:23 +0000

First babies conceived by a spermbot. Town makes parents umpire little league games. Red Cross asked gamers not to commit war crimes. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Get your tooth pulled by a fake dentist in a hotel room! Many vasectomies threaten Earth they say.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 26 Apr 2023 22:45:30 +0000

Vasectomy revolution in the US threatens population. Belgium destroys a shipment of the Champagne of Beers. Man arrested for illegal dental operations in a hotel room. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Marathon runner decides to catch a ride in a car. Japan wants to know which baby cries loudest.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 25 Apr 2023 23:06:11 +0000

Seagull imitation championships. Ultra marathon runner hopped into a car during race. Japan's crying baby festival and contest. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You're most likely to have sex with a robot if you're horny. Students and teachers lick whip cream.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 24 Apr 2023 22:42:43 +0000

Researchers show you are likely to hump a robot if you're already horny. Indiana politician identifies as a woman of color. Student and staff compete in whip cream licking contest which doesn't seem okay. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman burns down his home to stop vampires. Alligator bites off Floridaman's leg at an RV park.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 21 Apr 2023 22:00:30 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman burns down his own home because of vampires. Florida high school seniors are bringing goats to their prom. Florida woman drives through a hospital. Alligator bites off Floridaman's leg at an RV park. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Naked man tried to baptize himself in a church fountain. Cat hunting contest for the kids canceled.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 20 Apr 2023 21:51:31 +0000

Pennsylvania police offer bag of Doritos if you turn in your dealer on 420. Arizona man naked arrested baptizing himself in a church fountain. Canterbury feral cat hunting contest for kids is canceled. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Cafe waitress mixed her own blood into cocktails. FBI arrests man who applied for job on hitman site

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 22:29:59 +0000

Cafe server in Japan fired for mixing blood into customers drinks. Every blue eyed person in the world is related. FBI arrested man who applied for hitman job. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Porn on the train will not be tolerated. Couple beheads themselves at same time with homemade device

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 18 Apr 2023 21:55:14 +0000

The most expensive license plate in the world sold for $15 million. Couple beheads themselves at the same time with a homemade guillotine. Railway asks passengers to please not watch porn on the train. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Lady injected a black widow spider to get high. Now you can get groped and be late for class.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 17 Apr 2023 22:48:23 +0000

Man throws stacks of $100 bills out the car window and family is pissed. Woman injected herself with black widow spider to get high. Japan asked schools not to penalize students who miss class because of a groping. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida teacher hosted fight club inside classroom. Floridaman calls the cops on the cops.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 14 Apr 2023 22:26:33 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida middle school teacher hosted fight club in her classroom. Floridaman called the cops on the cops. Florida teacher had students write own obituary. Drunk Floridaman broke into a police station to cause havoc. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Mom of twins calls police when she can't tell them apart. Alcoholic dog has been rehabilitated.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 13 Apr 2023 22:11:41 +0000

Rock band not allowed to enter UK because they have day jobs. Alcoholic dog has been rehabilitated successfully. Mother of twins calls police when she can't tell them apart. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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78 year old woman robs banks so politely. Man scares his neighbor's chickens to death.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 12 Apr 2023 22:08:08 +0000

Australian arrested for bringing a wild platypus on public transportation. 78 year old woman robs multiple banks politely. Chinese man jailed for scaring chickens to death. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Monopoly game ends in a sword fight. Bodyguard the Musical shuts after fans keep singing along.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 22:17:42 +0000

Monopoly game ends in a sword battle and two hospitalizations. Mall Easter egg hunt ends with hurt children and a brawl. Bodyguard the Musical shuts after spectators keep singing along. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Snakes on a plane! But for real! Bloody crucifixions still take place on Good Friday.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 10 Apr 2023 23:34:02 +0000

Bloody crucifixions despite Catholic church rebuke. Woman rides a Bentley to her dishwasher gig. Real snake on a plane! // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Naked Floridaman transports dead deer in stolen school bus. Man whips out machete at karaoke bar.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 7 Apr 2023 22:45:50 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Naked Floridaman stole schoolbus to transport dead deer. Florida DUI suspect says he will drink until the day he dies. Floridaman can now carry a concealed gun without a permit. Floridaman whips out machete after karaoke request denied. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man called his ex 800 times in 48 hours and faces jail time. Would you eat Wooly Mammoth meatballs?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 6 Apr 2023 22:21:39 +0000

Man called ex girlfriend 800 times in 48 hours and could face 5 years prison. France introduces a bill to regulate online influencers. Scientists grew a Mammoth meatball in a lab from DNA. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Live-stream castration ring busted. Rap music will not be allowed at the Easter Festival.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 5 Apr 2023 22:40:53 +0000

Man accused of live-streaming illegal castrations. Royal Easter Show will not allow rap music. Italian government seeks to penalize use of English words. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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AI told a man to kill himself, and he did. Bear meat vending machine in Japan is quite popular.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 4 Apr 2023 22:02:08 +0000

Bear meat vending machine in Japan is popular and helpful. Man Jolles himself after AI chatbot told him to. Phantom cat shaver in Britain raising questions. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ghost of a child damaged his car, claims man. Order Starbucks drink based on your Zodiac sign?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 3 Apr 2023 22:30:59 +0000

Order Starbucks drink based on your Zodiac sign! One in ten Brits have done some dental work on themselves. Man claims ghost of a child damaged his car. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida stripper assaults man with dollar bills. Floridaman would rather burn than be arrested.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 31 Mar 2023 22:54:02 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida landlord paints vulgarities on tenant doors. Floridaman runs away from police into burning home. We Spy Coffee shop employee puts spy cameras in the bathroom. Naked Florida woman runs up a tree. Florida stripper arrested for assault with was of cash. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Waiting for a dead pastor to resurrect for entire year. Colleges giving students a week off for love

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 30 Mar 2023 22:32:13 +0000

Chinese colleges giving students a week off to fall in love. Angry prostitutes in Amsterdam protest anti tourist campaign. Pastor still dead after a year of awaiting resurrection. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Invincible super pigs are invading the US! Politicians in Finland are rapping to attract voters.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 29 Mar 2023 22:45:37 +0000

Super pigs are invading the US from Canada. TSA says peanut butter is a liquid. Politicians in Finland are rapping for votes. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Serial sperm donor fathered 550 kids and won't stop. Only alcohol free bar in Dublin has closed.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 22:56:22 +0000

Dutch man serial sperm donor being sued to stop fathering. Crackdown on Birth Tourism in Argentina. The only alcohol free bar in Dublin hath closed. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Tenant squeezed landlord's testicles to death. News anchor canceled for rapping Snoop Dogg.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 00:39:37 +0000

Tenant arrested for squeezing landlord testicles. News anchor canceled for snoop dog quote. Starbucks CEO will be a barista. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Alligator knocks on Floridaman's front door. Florida principal fired for showing a classical penis.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 Mar 2023 22:05:46 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman calls Pizzeria with bomb threat. Floridaman drives 100mph to get girlfriend to her job interview. Florida principal in trouble for showing classic art penis. Florida bill would ban girls discussing their period. Alligator knocks on Floridaman's front door. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Prisoners break out of jail and go to an IHOP. Man describes Hell in detail to his doc after dying.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 23 Mar 2023 20:21:19 +0000

Prisoners broke out and immediately ate at IHOP. Winnie the Pooh horror film canceled in Hong Kong. Patient returns from the dead and informs doctor what awaits is in Hell. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man poops on bicycle seats to show affection. Finland offers free vacation to come learn happiness.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Mar 2023 22:22:51 +0000

Man threatens subway passengers with his pet rat. Japanese man arrested for defecating on her bike seat. Finland offers free vacations for people who want to be happiest. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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From beheadings to making copies, Taliban as office workers. Device let's you make out with insects.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 21 Mar 2023 22:16:28 +0000

Taliban hate their new office jobs. Man invents device to kiss insects. 29 year old woman pretended to be a teen and enrolled in High School. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Burglar steals vibrator after entering through a dog flap. Does Mozart's music stop crime?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 Mar 2023 21:31:30 +0000

Burglar stole vibrator after breaking through dog flap door. LA Metro will use classical music to make train station safe. Massachusetts court upholds citizens right to be rude. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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The real Terminator is a Floridaman. Giant seaweed blob is about to retire in Florida.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 Mar 2023 22:47:28 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY St Paddy's Day episode! - Florida woman arrested for attack with an avocado. Naked Florida man claims he's from another Earth. Giant seaweed blob is headed for Florida. Drummer for Def Leppard attacked in Florida. AND Weird St. Paddy's Day traditions in US./ Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Racist principal turns out to be a deepfake made by students. First octopus farm is causing alarm.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 Mar 2023 22:28:59 +0000

Students make a racist deepfake video of school principal. Man in China robbed gas station then lived inside a cave for 14 years. World's first octopus farm proposal is causing concern. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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American smuggled marijuana into Jamaica because dumb. Robot Armageddon begins at Lowe's.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 15 Mar 2023 22:40:29 +0000

Robot security Armageddon begins at Lowe's stores in Philadelphia. Wild cat on cocaine found on Cincinnati streets. Dumb American smuggled marijuana into Jamaica to show that our weed is stronger. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's raining worms in China. Scientists discover possible nut allergy cure.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Mar 2023 22:56:44 +0000

It rains worms in China. Potential nut allergy cure discovered. Man sues claiming boneless wings are really nuggets. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Anyone can be topless at Berlin public pools. Valentine's Day 2046 is now incoming asteroid day.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 13 Mar 2023 22:20:05 +0000

Canadian judge says giving the finger is our God Given Right. NASA says an asteroid may strike Earth a Valentine's Day 2046. Berlin public pools allow everyone to be topless. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Threesome ends when Floridaman throws a brick. National Sugar Daddy Appreciation Day in Florida?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 10 Mar 2023 23:37:33 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman calls for National Sugar Daddy Appreciation Day. Threesome ends when Floridaman throws a brick. Florida woman lost her nipples after Colombian plastic surgery. Floridaman breaks push-up record at age 60.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Don't make me impregnate ISIS women! Dolphin Dave in trouble for touching too many dolphins.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 Mar 2023 23:22:04 +0000

Teacher removed for her or his size z prosthetic giant breasts. Man that goes by Dolphin Dave in trouble for harassing dolphins and whales in the ocean. ISIS women ran a human stud farm at a prison. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Couple marries in the Metaverse, gets free Taco Bell. California city bans balloons in public.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 Mar 2023 23:48:03 +0000

Old man gives out candy to kids on the incorrect Kindness Day. Couple married in the Metaverse. California city bans balloons in public. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Sushi licking kids fooled by AI cameras. 28 girls hospitalized after using Ouija Board at school.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 Mar 2023 23:24:41 +0000

28 girls hospitalized after using Ouija Board at school. Live on a cruise ship for $30k for minimum 3 years? AI cameras help sushi spots catch those licking kids. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Men modeling women's lingerie in China following a ban. Don't push your slower friend at the bear!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 6 Mar 2023 23:33:31 +0000

Parks department instructs everyone not to push their slow friend at the incoming bear. China's ban on female models leads to men in lingerie online. Drug companies in Canada will sell cocaine and heroin. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida lady argues her jailed fetus needs to be released. Stop delivering takeout to eagle's nest!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 3 Mar 2023 22:48:41 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida bill would eliminate Democratic Party. Lawyer says jailed pregnant Florida mom fetus illegally detained. Floridaman arrested for dumping all the mattresses on a sidewalk. Floridians keep sending DoorDash food to a bald eagle's nest. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man goes to Disneyland 2,995 days in a row. Japan's birth rate so low due to romance skills?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 2 Mar 2023 23:33:15 +0000

Man sets world record going to Disneyland 2,995 days straight. Japan birth rates plummet because of no romance? Missing adventurer guy's body found inside a shark belly. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man arrested with an 800 year old mummy girlfriend. Robot baristas will soon make us coffee drinks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 1 Mar 2023 23:12:24 +0000

Peruvian man found with 800 year old mummy claims it's his spiritual girlfriend. Insect catapults it's urine with a it's butt. Barista robot in South Korea can make 20 coffee beverages and more! // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Bride dies at ceremony and is replaced by younger sister. Future cars could repossess themselves.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Feb 2023 22:58:02 +0000

Bride has heart attack and dies on the altar and is replaced by her sister in India. Ford proposes future cars will repossess themselves. Drag Queen teaches kids there's 73 genders and the sex education is quickly canceled. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Penis size is increasing because of pollution. Mexico president shows proof of a crackhead in a tree

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 27 Feb 2023 23:14:14 +0000

Remote kissing device let's you make out from across the world. President of Mexico claims he has proof of wood elves. Penis size is growing because of pollution. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida mom's OnlyFans gets son suspended. Florida woman pulls a gun over a free cookie.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 Feb 2023 23:08:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida school suspends boy for mom's OnlyFans. Florida bill bans dogs from sticking head out car window. Floridaman uses stolen rental car for DoorDash. Florida woman pulls a gun over a free cookie. Florida man assaults brother over key lime pie. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Lady twerks on a dead guy at his funeral. The official drunkest state in America last year is...

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 23 Feb 2023 23:28:04 +0000

Wisconsin wins drunkest state in the IS once again. Drunk Russian man tried to steal Lenin's dead body. Lady arrested after twerking on dead man at funeral. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Be like Jesus, just don't fast like Jesus. Cookie Monster is acting belligerent along the wharf.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 23:29:05 +0000

Cookie Monster is belligerent on the wharf. New bill would make R and B music official music of Rhode Island. Pastor died while trying to do Jesus 49 day fast. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Doctor did illegal testicular ultrasounds in his bedroom. Teens trash mansion in social media stunt.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 21 Feb 2023 23:08:52 +0000

Hundreds of teenagers trash a mansion during a mansion rager social media stunt. Doctor conducted non consensual testicle ultrasoundsin his apartment. Man stole 200,000 Cadbury cream eggs and other things. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Ahhh the smell of New Mexico! Couple tried to murder one another yet stays together for 57 years.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 Feb 2023 23:34:04 +0000

New Mexico to be first state to have an official state smell. Couple together 57 years despite attempts at murder. Naked and Afraid contestant burnt penis on open fire. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida daycare put the children in Blackface. Floridaman wants penis statues in every city.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 Feb 2023 23:02:07 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman wants to erect penis statues across the state. Florida daycare put children in blackface. Floridaman stole $140k worth of chickens. Florida woman has her photo put in cover of erotic fiction novel. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Best cars to have sex in are... man escapes prison disguised as sheep gets caught in a field.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 Feb 2023 23:16:54 +0000

Murderer escapes prison dressed as a sheep. North Korea bans girls from having same name as his daughter. Best cars to have sex in. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Nightclub bans trouble making red sneakers. Pastor says sermons written by the AI are unacceptable.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 Feb 2023 00:04:52 +0000

Australia worried prolific sperm donors could lead to incest. Australia night club is banning red sneakers. Pastor says AI sermons lack any soul. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Donate your exe's crap to Goodwill on Valentine Day. Underground hot spring pornography ring busted.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Feb 2023 23:32:41 +0000

Donate your exes stuff to Goodwill on Valentine's Day. Put your exes name on some kitty litter for Valentine's Day. Underground hot spring pornography ring busted in Japan. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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First baby dropped anonymously in the Baby Box. You should hug some cows on Valentine's Day.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Feb 2023 00:49:52 +0000

Celebrate Valentine's Day hugging a cow in India. New Jersey restaurant bans children under 10. First baby dropped in the Baby Box in Kentucky. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman bites head off python during an argument. Floridaman crashes his homemade plane.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 11 Feb 2023 00:13:05 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman bites head off python during domestic dispute. Floridaman cracks open beer during DUI stop. Florida woman selling Tom Brady retirement sand. Florida woman denied entry cuz of her breasts. Floridaman crashes his homemade plane. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Senate legalized Ninja throwing stars. First man in the world to get a tattoo from a monkey.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 Feb 2023 23:09:13 +0000

Senate legalizes throwing stars. Chinese mother diagnosed with Force to Marry Syndrome. Venezuelan man first ever to be tattooed by a small monkey. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Threesome or alien abduction! Your choice. New gummies that make your vagina taste better.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 Feb 2023 23:06:34 +0000

Court in Spain rules man can walk naked in the streets. Kourtney Kardashian's new gummies make your vagina taste good. Tokyo man and partner threaten girl with alien abduction if she didn't join their threesome. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man's cancer caused him to speak with an Irish accent. Mafia boss fugitive found making pizzas.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 Feb 2023 23:13:00 +0000

Man gets prostate cancer which makes him speak with an Irish accent. Hairdressers are getting a creepy prank call from "Christine". Mafia boss killer was found after 16 years running a pizza business in France. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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French bulldogs may be banned as pets. Have you tried zapping your brain to cure brain fog?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 6 Feb 2023 23:16:54 +0000

Lone male student faints when finds 500 female students in testing class. Netherlands proposes banning French Bulldogs. People are zapping their brains with electricity for higher function. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman sues for being on Wheel of Fugitive. Florida schools wanna know your menstrual history.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 3 Feb 2023 23:16:28 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Buy water from the recently closed Splash Mountain Disney ride on eBay. Floridaman sues for being featured on Wheel of Fugitive. Florida may require school athletes to disclose their menstrual history. Floridaman smacks a woman's buttocks for not taking a photo. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Donate your organs and get out of jail early. Company will resurrect Wooly Mammoths and Dodo Birds.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 2 Feb 2023 23:30:39 +0000

Company raises millions to bring back the wooly mammoth and extinct dodo bird. Massachusetts bill would allow prisoners to exchange jail time for donated organs. British Columbia to decriminalize heroin cocaine fentanyl and other hard drugs. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Couple abandon their baby at airport rather than buy ticket. Dismembered penis found at gas station.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 1 Feb 2023 23:41:39 +0000

Court in Italy rules that children do not have to see their grandparents. Dismembered human penis found at a gas station in Alabama. Couple leave their ticket-less baby at the airport checkout counter and run to their plane. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Men spend 7 hours a year hiding in the bathroom. Woman killed her look alike to fake her own death.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 31 Jan 2023 23:16:20 +0000

Study shows men spend 7 hours per year hiding in the bathroom. Frantic search in Australia for missing radioactive capsule. German woman accused of killing her look alike to fake her own murder. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Pet fish commits credit card fraud while playing Nintendo. Doctors swallow legos for science.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 30 Jan 2023 23:09:47 +0000

Doctors swallowed Lego pieces for science. NASA will explore a rare asteroid worth 70,000 times the global economy. Pet fish commits credit card fraud while playing Nintendo. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida lady says crack pipe inside her is actually a sex toy. Man drove off pier cuz Jesus told him

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 Jan 2023 23:12:28 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested for beating an ATM with a hammer. Florida woman kicks boyfriend in crotch for not taking her to strip club. Florida woman told police crack pipe in her vagina is a sex toy. Floridaman confessed to police that Jesus told him to drive off the pier. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Students can't identify as animals at school. How did a fake restaurant become #1 in London?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 26 Jan 2023 23:41:46 +0000

No one can turn off the lights at this Massachusetts school. Fake restaurant ranked #1 in London. North Dakota schools don't want kids identifying as animals. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Food made of aborted fetuses must be labeled. Museums say the word "mummy" is offensive.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 25 Jan 2023 23:10:49 +0000

Philadelphia is hiring lifeguards that can't even swim. Museums in the UK don't want you to call them "mummies". Food made of aborted fetuses must be properly labeled in Texas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Know where your rectum is? Half of people don't. Whale parts now sold in vending machines.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 24 Jan 2023 23:25:53 +0000

Community tormented by serial sausage bandit leaving them in mailboxes. 45% of people don't know where their rectum is. Japan sells whale pieces in vending machines. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Men with small penises like fast cars, study says. Man survived lost at sea 24 days on ketchup.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 23 Jan 2023 23:38:23 +0000

Study says men with small penises like fast cars. Man survived at sea 24 days on ketchup. As prices soar, eggs are being smuggled from Mexico. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman shoots another over existence of Heaven and Hell. Iguana falls on man's face during yoga.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 23:12:40 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman shoots another over argument in Heaven and Hell. Florida's first dog water park and full bar is opening. Florida woman pulled from storm drain again. Floridaman tried to pawn a WWI missile. Floridaman injured by falling iguana during yoga class. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Did you know you can "smoke" your alcohol? Man uses a building shaker to get revenge on neighbors.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 00:27:35 +0000

The trend of smoking your alcohol. Man annoys neighbors with a building shaker device. Spy software leads to worker repaying wages to employer. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Library closed due to meth in the walls. Schools ban all physical contact, including hugging.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 23:34:17 +0000

Another Colorado library closes due to meth contamination. Grocery store with all items made from plastic bag opens. UK schools ban touching including hugging and holding hands. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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The most powerful passport in the word is? New bill would count fetus as a passenger for HOV lane.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 23:12:43 +0000

World's most powerful passport for 2023 is? Trans teacher with giant prosthetic breasts forced school dress code considerations. Virginia bill would count a fetus as a passenger in HOV lanes. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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You can dance without a permit in Sweden. Dancers flashmob funeral to Another One Bites the Dust.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 16 Jan 2023 23:19:21 +0000

Swedish government will get rid of dance permits. Dancers flashmob a funeral to Another One Bites the Dust. Man arrested for having sex with a cow. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida lady brings emotional support snake on flight. Floridaman combines stabbing with scooting.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 13 Jan 2023 23:27:05 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman pulls gun on a bad date. Floridaman on electric scooter with a blade. Floridamen fight each other on a ski lift. Florida woman tries to bring her emotional support Bo constrictor on a flight. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Mother profits off her wetting herself. Air India allows passengers to urinate on each other.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 12 Jan 2023 23:25:37 +0000

Mom sells her soiled underwear on OnlyFans. Air Indian allows a man to urinate on a passenger. General fired for ordering troops to take his mom shopping. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Man with Natural Ice in his veins poops on cars. Not a single bank robbery in Denmark last year.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 11 Jan 2023 23:04:47 +0000

Drunk man poops on a car with Natural Ice in his veins. Zero bank robberies in Denmark last year. M&M's new packaging causes cultural outrage. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man bites passenger's face off, thinking he's a robot. Drunks needed for deputy field training.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 10 Jan 2023 22:54:13 +0000

Deputies need drunk people to help them with field sobriety training. Satanic Temple in Boston is celebrating the mayor. Man bites a passenger face because he thought he was a robot. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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8 ways to eat your Christmas tree. Old Nazi treasure map sparks a citizen treasure hunt.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 9 Jan 2023 23:42:34 +0000

Chef advises you to eat your Christmas tree for vitamin C. Old Nazi treasure map sparks treasure hunt in Netherlands. Washington criminal has a standoff with police and demands a Hot Pocket. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Floridaman says his genitals were grabbed at massage parlor. Burglars called 911 for help moving.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 6 Jan 2023 23:27:16 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman says his genitals were grabbed at a massage parlor. Florida filmmaker robs a bank to make his movie. Florida burglars called 911 for help moving stolen items. Florida deputy arrested for selling edibles to the inmates. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Watching porn now requires age verification. Japan will pay you to move out of Tokyo.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 5 Jan 2023 23:11:37 +0000

Louisiana passes law requiring age verification to watch porn. Japan offers families thousands to move out of Tokyo. Equinox gym denies new members on January 1st. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Masturbating walrus causes fireworks cancellation. "You have cancer! Just kidding, Happy New Year!"

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 4 Jan 2023 23:20:15 +0000

Medical center texts patients they have lung cancer by mistake instead of Happy Holidays. Santa Clauses were beaten by Hindu organizations. New Year's Eve fireworks canceled because of masturbating walrus. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Best of 2022 - Part 2

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 3 Jan 2023 22:58:04 +0000

The best and weirdest stories of 2022 from Weird AF News - Part 2. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Best of 2022 - Part 1

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 2 Jan 2023 23:03:09 +0000

The best and weirdest stories of 2022 from Weird AF News - Part 1 of 2. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman attacks cop for waking him then raps. Floridaman breaks into a home to use the toilet.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 30 Dec 2022 23:44:13 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman attacks a cop for waking him up then raps. Floridaman stabs his friend for lying in a story. Floridaman breaks into home to use toilet. Florida teacher reunites travelers with their lost luggage in Tampa. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Father of 102 kids decides it's too expensive to have kids. Bill Cosby plans a comedy tour for 2023.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 29 Dec 2022 23:07:56 +0000

Farmer with 102 kids decides it's too expensive to have any more. Mexico's President asks citizens not to accept holiday gifts from the gangs. Bill Cosby plans to do a comedy tour in 2023. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Defeated politician whips out a sword and threatens voters. Teen gave out fake parking tickets.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 28 Dec 2022 23:35:16 +0000

Stanford university replaces harmful words on their website. California teen made fake parking tickets in a scam. Defeated politician whipped out a sword at the people. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Sex dolls are allowed to enter South Korea. Apparently people hate the song Last Christmas by Wham.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 27 Dec 2022 23:36:42 +0000

Couple raising money to remove the holiday song Last Christmas. South Korea ends the ban on importing sex dolls. Drunk Santa's in a tank caused chaos on a village. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Florida mistress demands BDSM dungeon from the city. Floridaman shot Florida woman for twerking.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 23 Dec 2022 23:11:01 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Frozen iguanas falling from trees is Florida holiday tradition. Floridaman accidental shot the twerking girl. Florida teacher thought praying was magical voodoo. Florida mistress demands a taxpayer funded BDSM dungeon at city meeting. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Mom offers her liver as a bribe to help her son. Super mosquitoes are unstoppable now!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 23:36:12 +0000

Korean mom fined for offering her liver to a businessman to get her son a job. Super mosquitoes are on the lose, warns scientists. Porch pirates return with the packages they stole. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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WWI bomb inside a man's rectum causes hospital evacuation. Two women jailed for feeding stray cats.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 23:50:33 +0000

New Zealand aims to end cigarette smoking by 2025. Alabama women jailed for feeding stray cats. Hospital in France evacuated after 88 year old man arrived with WWI bomb in his rectum. / Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Is it cruel to turn your pet dog into a Grinch? Giant aquarium explodes in a Berlin hotel.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 20 Dec 2022 23:36:05 +0000

Giant aquarium explodes in a Berlin hotel. Woman accused of animal cruelty for turning dog into Grinch. London will fight public urination with splash back paint. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Don't eat the hallucinogenic spinach! Bank robbery suspect demanded just one dollar?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 19 Dec 2022 23:01:16 +0000

Bank robber demanded one dollar. First time in history no British fans arrested at the World Cup. Hallucinogenic spinach is being recalled. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman attacks wife with a Christmas tree. Florida woman carjacked her Tinder date.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 16 Dec 2022 23:52:02 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman gets naked in strangers apartment again. Florida woman carjacks her Tinder date. Floridaman attacks wife with a Christmas tree. Florida woman hits police and claims she's a God from ancient Egypt. Teenager unicycles from Maine to Florida. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Pastor wants to grow marijuana in his church. Spider infestation forces school to close.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 15 Dec 2022 23:03:48 +0000

Spider infestation closes a school. Mumbai slums covered up with drapes by government. Pastor wants to grow weed in the church. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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A Christmas tree vandalized many cars. Rent a living tree this holiday season and save the planet.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 14 Dec 2022 23:15:11 +0000

Police looking for a vandalizing Christmas Tree in Poland. Rent a living Christmas tree this holiday. Inflation is affecting Tamale prices during the holiday. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Stop throwing marshmallows in the lava! South Koreans will soon become one year younger.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 13 Dec 2022 23:35:02 +0000

South Koreans will soon become one year younger. Mayor of Hawaii island asks citizens not to throw marshmallows into the hot lava. Man says he was at war with a squirrel, shoots through neighbors home. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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The first "Vagina on a Chip" made in a lab. Girl granted license to own a unicorn if she finds one.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 12 Dec 2022 21:32:26 +0000

California girl licensed to own a unicorn if she can find one. Parents filed a lawsuit against Fortnite. Scientists have designed a vagina chip. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman robs Walmart with 50 cops inside. School nurse stole all the students' Adderall.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 9 Dec 2022 22:04:51 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman robs Walmart during Shop with a Cop event. Florida school nurse stole the student Adderall. Floridaman arrested for having sex with a dog then destroying a church. Floridaman lit sheriff's vehicle on fire. Tampa Bay Florida welcomes Tampa, Kansas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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World Cup is hurting the camels. Indonesia just banned sex outside of marriage.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 8 Dec 2022 20:49:13 +0000

World Cup soccer is putting a strain on the camels. Study shows that depressed people don't send Christmas cards. Indonesia bans sex outside of marriage cuz they think it's 1560. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Semen filled Christmas ornaments anyone? Famous sword swallower nearly died from too many swords.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 7 Dec 2022 23:16:42 +0000

NASA is gonna build roads on the Moon. Christmas tree ornaments filled with bodily fluids. Famous sword swallows hospitalized for swallowing too many swords. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Doctor removes 23 contact lenses from patient's eye. Free removal of any Kanye West tattoos.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 6 Dec 2022 23:46:10 +0000

Man posed as hot woman and acquired a police car. Tattoo studio offers to remove any Kanye West tats for free. Doctor removed 23 contact lenses from intelligent patient's eye. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Drones make Guns N' Roses very angry, as does a new store that sells guns and flowers.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 5 Dec 2022 23:18:21 +0000

Guns N Roses sues a flower/gun store. Axl Rose might have to stop throwing the mic into the crowd. Guns N Roses is pissed off about drones. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida woman sues cuz mac n cheese takes 3.5 minutes. Floridaman assaults with a sex toy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 3 Dec 2022 00:01:21 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman exposes himself on flight to Boston. Floridaman charged after throwing sex toy at lady. Florida woman accused of biting kids. Florida woman sues Velveeta because macaroni takes longer than 3.5 minutes to make. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Ancient Zombie Virus is dug up by scientists. Japan's poop museum is perfect for poop selfies!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 1 Dec 2022 23:38:33 +0000

Scientists dig up an ancient zombie virus in Siberia. Japan's poop museum is legit. Dummy robs bank while using his birth certificate for demand note. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Fake gladiators arrested in Rome for extorting tourists. Father brought son to Hooters controversy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 1 Dec 2022 00:11:54 +0000

Fake gladiators in Rome arrested for tourist extortion. Father brought 9 yo son to Hooters following good grades. Japan fans impress by cleaning up the stadium at World Cup. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Every monk tests positive for meth at temple. Thanksgiving family Monopoly game goes violent.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 29 Nov 2022 23:33:46 +0000

French office worker wins the right to be boring at work. Arrest made after thanksgiving Monopoly game turns violent. Thai monks arrested after testing positive for meth at the Temple. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Police dept requests killer robots for deadly force. Men should touch themselves 21 times for health

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 28 Nov 2022 23:16:27 +0000

Study suggests men should ejaculate 21 times a month for prostate cancer. Single name individuals will not be allowed entry to UAE. San Francisco police request permission to use killer robots. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman robs Walmart but claims he owns Walmart. Grocery store allows boozing while shopping.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 25 Nov 2022 23:49:58 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida grocery store Publix will allow shoppers to booze. Florida teacher fired for filming OnlyFans porn in classroom. Floridaman drank bleach after court sentencing. Floridaman arrested for shoplifting at Walmart claims he owns Walmart. Florida couple breaks world speed eating records together. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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This country has way too much cocaine. Why are Chinese youth dressing up like American farmers?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 23 Nov 2022 22:34:35 +0000

QR codes for gravestones to tell the story of your dead relatives. Chinese influences are posing like American Farmers on social media. Belgium needs more incinerators to burn the abundant of cocaine. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Mom arrested for making son walk home. The mystery of the circling sheep.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 22 Nov 2022 23:13:47 +0000

Mom jailed for making young son walk home. Flock of sheep have been circling for two weeks and no one knows why. Qatar banned sale of beer at World Cup. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Bar manager accused of making teen girls fight a duel. Suicide pods going on sale soon?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 22 Nov 2022 00:36:24 +0000

Manager of a "Girls Bar" accused of forcing teens to fight a duel. It's time to make beans sexy! Suicide pods might be for sale in Switzerland. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman breaks into a home to make coffee. Florida lady claims the Bible verse attacked her.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Sat, 19 Nov 2022 00:02:15 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman broke into a home to make coffee. Fired Dunkin' Donuts worker says manager attacked him with bagel knife. Floridaman chugs beers at EPCOT center and mayhem ensues. Florida lady says the Bible verse attacked her. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Don't eat the dead whales on the beach! Woman caught with dead boyfriends ashes in a sex toy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 17 Nov 2022 23:27:52 +0000

Do not eat the dead whale carcasses please! Woman caught wearing a sex toy with dead boyfriend's ashes within at airport. 40 thousand mink were released from a farm in Ohio. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Native American scalps illegally sold online. Judge attacked by a chocolate chip muffin.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 16 Nov 2022 23:39:01 +0000

FBI investigates illegal online sale of a Native American human scalp. Muffin was thrown at a judge during sentencing. Woman delivered her best friend's baby to discover it was her husband's. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Grandpa chainsmokes while running a marathon. Three mermaids saved a drowning scuba diver.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 15 Nov 2022 23:49:29 +0000

Chinese grandpa ran a marathon while chain smoking. Hello fresh accused of using monkey labor. Three mermaids rescued scuba in California. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Police warn against buying owls from strangers on drugs. Nudist wants to get naked in your garden.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 14 Nov 2022 23:51:08 +0000

Nudist is looking to rent your garden to be naked in. Police warn about buying owls from strangers while on drugs. Polish leader blames birth rate on drunk women. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman stuffed gun inside a raw chicken to bring on plane. Florida has it's own idea of planking

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 11 Nov 2022 23:09:14 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman hit man with a plank. Floridaman sold a bomb to a cop. Floridaman pretended to be Irish for fraud. Floridaman stuffed a gun inside raw chicken for plane. Floridaman tried to escape Florida on stolen boat. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Child bites a cobra to death. Philadelphia Chicken Man regrets eating 40 rotisserie chickens.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 10 Nov 2022 23:20:34 +0000

Cobra died after being bit by a child. Philadelphia chicken man ate 40 rotisserie chickens in 40 days. Miss Puerto Rico and Miss Argentina reveal they got married. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Prostitute ghosts are haunting a woman's home? Nurse amputated man's foot for taxidermy collection.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 9 Nov 2022 22:58:51 +0000

Nurse amputated dying man's foot for her taxidermy collection. 178 Hirokazu Tanakas gather for namesake world record. Texas woman claims her home is haunted by prostitute ghosts. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Virtual Reality headset that really kills you. Why will wolves be shot by paintball guns?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 8 Nov 2022 23:16:47 +0000

Virtual Reality headset built that can kill you for real. Independent schools teaching Loch Ness Monster is real. Wolves will be shot by paintballs in Netherlands. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Don't lick the psychedelic toad, warns Park Services. Trapped miners survive 9 days only on coffee.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 7 Nov 2022 23:35:26 +0000

Trapped miners in South Korea survive 9 days on just coffee. Woman arrested for using her nipples to poison men then rob them. Park services warns not to lick the psychedelic toad. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Sex toy bite fight with Florida woman. Floridaman blames a curse for driving without tires.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 4 Nov 2022 22:49:20 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman asked cops to urinate on him. Florida woman bites man over sex toy. Floridaman blames paranormal activity for driving without tires. Floridaman teacher dry humps parked cars. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Hitler Halloween costume gets a man fired. Fake student lived in Stanford Univ. dorms for a year.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 3 Nov 2022 22:14:27 +0000

Man wore Hitler Halloween costume and gets fired. World's fastest shoes increase your walking speed 250 percent. Pretend student lived on Stanford University campus nearly a year. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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"Wife Beater Wednesday" has been officially canceled. Picking your nose can cause Alzheimer's?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 2 Nov 2022 22:37:52 +0000

Picking your nose increases risk of Alzheimer's per study. Wife Beater Wednesday has been canceled at high school. Lottery winner hides his identity (and cash) from wife and kids. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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"Now hiring non-stupid people" sign offends locals. Horror video game that takes place in IKEA.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 1 Nov 2022 22:12:48 +0000

Guy in China hospitalized after eating whole live crab to avenge his daughter. "Now hiring non stupid people" sign angers some people. IKEA sues video game developer for making horror game inside IKEA. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Company will bury you alive for a fee. Is your home haunted? Your car keys may be a clue.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 31 Oct 2022 22:04:26 +0000

Company offers to bury you alive for a large fee. Brain scan captures your thoughts right before you die. Your car keys can prove that your house is haunted and other tips. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman told police he has a permit to carry meth. 14yo gave out $13k of grandma's cash at school

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 28 Oct 2022 22:42:47 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida middle school student stole $13k from grandma to hand out to kids at school. One legged Floridaman named Ponce de Leon arrested. Florida teen won the 2022 Python Competition. Floridaman named Danger ran an unlicensed post-op recovery home. Floridaman told the police he had a license to carry meth. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Priests and nuns watch porn says the Pope. Marijuana company sued for not getting us high enough.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 27 Oct 2022 22:16:32 +0000

Pope says nuns and priests are watching porn. Climate protestors glued themselves to a floor but then had to pee. Marijuana company being sued for not getting customers high enough. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Trans gender volleyball player causes forfeits. Free vapes for pregnant women.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 26 Oct 2022 23:53:39 +0000

Volleyball teams forfeit over trans gender opponent. UK council will give out free vapes to pregnant women. Death Pool discovered in the deep sea. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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World's dirtiest man dies after his first bath in decades. TikTok dead guy books role on TV show.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 25 Oct 2022 22:18:27 +0000

World's dirtiest man has died in Iran at 94. TikTok star played dead in his videos was cast as a dead man on CSI. Sneakers for horses go for $1200 per shoe. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Soccer fan brings dead grandpa's skull to championship. "Offensive" Karen Halloween display removed.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 24 Oct 2022 22:18:14 +0000

City takes down offensive Karen Halloween display. Soccer fan takes his grandpa's skull to the championship celebration. Cat is sworn in as mayor of Italian town. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida gas stations will sell marijuana. Floridaman attacked a woman for not having a crack pipe.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 21 Oct 2022 23:05:25 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Naked Floridaman named Hercules attacked woman with a machete because she didn't have a crackpipe. Florida police department hired their entire police force without doing background checks. Marijuana is coming to Florida gas stations. Flesh Eating Bacteria surges following Hurricane Ian. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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140 year old pair of Levi's jeans sells for big money. Man drove thru the oldest bathroom in Japan.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 22:02:12 +0000

Experts warn against using brand dryers in public restrooms. Man drove through Japan's oldest bathroom. 140 year old pair of Levi's jeans sells for big money at auction. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Jeffrey Dahmer Halloween costumes banned. Woman attacked the police with bee hives during eviction.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 19 Oct 2022 21:54:12 +0000

eBay bans Jeffrey Dahmer Halloween costumes. Woman attacks police offers with bee hives during eviction. Mexican priest known as Father Pistolas suspended over pro gun stance. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man allergic to orgasms is finally cured. Blind woman Is flying a plane across the country.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 22:22:45 +0000

Coffee shop charges rude customers more for coffee. Man became allergic to orgasms but a cure is found. Blind Arizona woman is piloting a plane across the country. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Robot dogs are being walked in China. Stranger torments homeowner with "porridge" prank nightly.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 17 Oct 2022 22:21:30 +0000

Stranger torments man by yelling "porridge" through his letterbox. Park officials in Pennsylvania keep removing Bigfoot warning signs. Young people in China are walking robot dogs daily. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida fathers shoot each other's daughters during road rage. Magic mushroom chaos on Miami flight.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 14 Oct 2022 22:14:31 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman high on mushrooms caused chaos on a flight. Floridaman pulls knife at LA Fitness. Two Florida fathers shot each other's daughters during road rage. Florida Hertz rental finds a child left in a returned car. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Get a free vasectomy in the "Nutcracker" mobile van. Elon Musk release perfume called Burnt Hair.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 13 Oct 2022 22:27:46 +0000

Elon Musk is selling perfume called Burnt Hair. US clinics offering free vasectomies. Mountain unicycling is popular in Colorado. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Nuclear war? Let's have an orgy! Raincoat thief has a fetish for women's raincoats.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 12 Oct 2022 22:22:53 +0000

Thousands of Ukrainians plan an orgy for the nuclear war. Japan police arrest a raincoat thief. Cow burps will be taxed in New Zealand. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Woman pays fake astronaut's ticket back to earth for romance. Voting scandal rocks fat bear contest.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 11 Oct 2022 22:23:20 +0000

Voting scandal rocks Alaska fat bear contest. Daycare worker fired for terrorizing children with a Scream mask. Woman scammed by man claiming to be an astronaut asking for money to return flight to earth. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Angry tourist at Vatican demands to speak with the Pope. New iPhone calls 911 on rollercoasters.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 10 Oct 2022 22:30:50 +0000

New iPhone calls 911 on rollercoasters. Texas Pete hot sauce not made in Texas. Tourist destroys artifacts at Vatican after demanding to speak with the Pope. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman ran on football field to tackle a 9 year old. Couple stole their coworker's baby.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 7 Oct 2022 22:21:59 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida men rob a Dollar Store then drive into Disney canal. Floridaman ran onto youth football field, put on a helmet and tackled a child. Floridaman says those pants with the drugs inside aren't his. Florida couple stole coworkers baby. Pigeons painted pink are appearing in Florida park. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Churches use Shameware to stop members from watching porn. The King has hired a piper to wake him.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 6 Oct 2022 22:08:04 +0000

Churches are using Shameware to make sure their members don't watch porn. King Charles hired a full time bagpiper to wake him each morning. University mistakenly sent 4,000 acceptance letters. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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The famous chocolate bunny battle ends. Fancy restaurant is hiring a professional grape feeder.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 5 Oct 2022 22:25:22 +0000

Fancy restaurant in London is hiring a professional grape feeder. Lindt wins the battle of the chocolate bunnies. How Spam became super popular again. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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OnlyFans breaks up with her boyfriend cuz her fans chose it. Sausage vending machines are booming.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 4 Oct 2022 22:24:33 +0000

Sausage vending machines are popular in Germany right now. New Zealand government apologizes for the middle finger ads. OnlyFans model let's her fans make important decisions for her. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Cheating scandal rocks the world of pro fishing. Californians can now jaywalk legally.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 3 Oct 2022 22:25:29 +0000

Pro fishing tourney up in arms over cheating scandal. New law allows California to Jaywalk. Venice Italy mayor hates those pesky surfers. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida woman hopes to marry Tetris the video game. Florida men stole the traffic lights.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 30 Sep 2022 22:21:18 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman hopes to marry the video game Tetris. Three Floridamen steal all the traffic lights. Gun fires at Florida Chuck E. Cheese. Florida second grader asked to take pics reading in her bathtub for homework. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man peed on ex's grave every morning while new wife watched. McDonald's offers adult Happy Meals?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 29 Sep 2022 22:38:28 +0000

Man caught on video urinating on his ex wife's grave everyday at 6am while new wife watched. McDonald's offering adult Happy Meals. Study shows women make assumptions about mens personalities based on penis photos. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Woman brought a raccoon to the bar. Doctors found over 50 batteries inside woman's stomach.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 28 Sep 2022 22:38:54 +0000

Doctors remove over 50 batteries from woman's stomach. North Dakota woman charged for bringing a raccoon to the local bar. Another university student suspended for urination scandal. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Cat allergy? You can now own a robotic AI cat. Donating your healthy poop can save lives.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 27 Sep 2022 23:38:24 +0000

Fecal philanthropist donates poop to save lives. Why are American Airlines flights haunted by groaning noises. Wanna spend some time with a robot AI cat? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman touches himself in neighbor's Ring camera. Florida offers bounty on iguana's.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 23 Sep 2022 22:01:02 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Miami Beach will put bounty on iguanas. Floridaman pulls gun on friends trying to stop him driving drunk. Floridaman beats CVS employee while angry at Biden. Floridaman touches himself in neighbor's Ring camera. Florida woman thought she killed roommates then went shopping. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man married 53 women for peace and stability. Buy red paint made from the real blood of gay men?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 22:13:36 +0000

Want to buy red paint made from the blood of gay men? Saudi man married 53 women in 43 years for stability and peace? Beyond Meat executive arrested for biting a man's nose off. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Cooking chicken in NyQuil is new TikTok challenge. Guinea Pig Awareness Week has been canceled.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 21 Sep 2022 22:31:14 +0000

Guinea Pig Awareness Week has been canceled because of the Queen. How many total ants live on Earth? Scientists have a clear idea. Cooking chicken in NyQuil is a terrible idea says FDA. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Relax at the new Burger King spa. Teacher in trouble for protecting pedophile feelings.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 20 Sep 2022 22:19:54 +0000

Chinese man gets lost in a hot air balloon picking pine nuts. Teacher in Texas on leave after telling students not to hurt pedophile feelings. Relaxing spa opens inside a Burger King. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Avalanche of sex toys on the highway following a crash. World's first flying bike is here.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 19 Sep 2022 22:38:27 +0000

Dildos and sex you'd end up all over the freeway following truck crash. When the Queen died someone had to explain to the bees. The worlds first flying bicycle makes US debut. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman hangs with swans cuz they don't judge him. Bullet in the scrotum for cheating Floridaman.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 16 Sep 2022 22:16:55 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman stole swan boat to hang with swans on MDMA. TikTok Floridaman tries to set world record of Titanic VHS tapes. Floridaman sent two plane loads of migrants to an island. Bullet lodged in floridaman's testicle after wife shoots him for cheating. Floridaman crushed a woman's truck after she didn't give him the drug money. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Eminem is now a Christian rapper. People robbing banks for their own money in this country.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 15 Sep 2022 22:08:18 +0000

People are robbing banks in Lebanon for their own savings. Eminem reached number 1 on the Hot Christian Songs chart. Australians want Steve Irwin to replace the Queen on their money. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Stripper hired by elderly home to give wheelchair lap dances. TikTok challenge involves stealing car

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 14 Sep 2022 21:56:42 +0000

Nursing home hires a stripper to entertain elderly men in wheelchairs. TikTok challenge involves stealing Kia vehicles with USB cable. Church in Halifax blesses bikes to encourage people to ride more.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Teen stole a bus to visit his girlfriend. Chess player accused of using anal beads to cheat.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 13 Sep 2022 22:59:09 +0000

Donkey penises seized in smuggling operation. Teen stole a bud to visit his girlfriend. Chess player accused of using anal beads to cheat. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Drug dealers offer Queen is Dead discounts. Queen Elizabeth look a like retires after 34 years.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 12 Sep 2022 22:46:06 +0000

Drug dealers offering Queen is dead discounts. Indians are demanding a return of the Kohinoor Diamond. Queen look alike is retiring after 34 years. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida teacher twerks on her student at prom. Floridaman shows wang, beats lady with dead pigeon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 9 Sep 2022 22:17:30 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman survives 3 days in the woods after gator steals an arm. Florida woman named Tupac Shakur attacked elderly with a bat. Florida teacher twerks with a student after getting him drunk at prom. Florida police find people living in stolen UHaul van with 35 cats. Floridaman unpacks his penis before beating lady with a dead pigeon.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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White Privilege cards caused a student walk out. Beauty pageant finalist competes without makeup.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 8 Sep 2022 22:35:19 +0000

School district asks parents to let teachers rent their spare rooms. Miss England finalist first in history to compete without makeup. White Privilege cards at a high school cause a student walk out. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Worn out penis on a famous athlete statue. Dutch city is first in world to ban meat advertisements.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 7 Sep 2022 22:16:01 +0000

Canadian Army investigates a paratrooper who drank a beer on video while descending. Dutch city is first in the world to ban meat advertisements. Cristiano Ronaldo's statue features a worn out penis area from all the tourists rubbing it. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Point your genitals at the sun for optimum health? Porn star hugs thousands of fans in 24 hours.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 6 Sep 2022 21:21:10 +0000

TikTok stars suggest you sun your genitals once a day for health. Japanese porn star hugs 3000 fans in 24 hours. School baptized 100 students without their parents' permission. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida server dipped hot wings in her vagina. Vegan mom gets prison for malnutrition death of son.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 2 Sep 2022 22:57:46 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Naked Floridaman crawls thru Taco Bell drive thru window. Vegan Florida mom gets prison for malnutrition death of her son. Floridaman in his underwear locks himself inside Little Caesar's. Florida Hooters waitress dipped hot wings inside her vagina. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Stop sending nudes to passengers on this flight! Robot rapper dropped by label for using N Word.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 1 Sep 2022 22:18:29 +0000

Capitol Records drops robot rapper after N word backlash. Southwest Airlines pilot orders passengers to stop sending nudes. Pearl Necklaces made from semen are the hot jewelry trend. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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City fights Sagging Pants with free belts for kids. The resurgence of the mullet divides Australia.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 22:15:24 +0000

No More Sagging Pants campaign gives out free belts to students. Prehistoric Viking era weapons discovered as glaciers melt in Norway. The mullet has a resurgence and Australia is divided. / Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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OnlyFans but prison style! Man paddles down the Missouri River in giant pumpkin for world record.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 30 Aug 2022 22:12:42 +0000

You can't buy whipped cream cans in New York if under 21. Man paddles 38 miles down a river in a giant pumpkin for the record. OnlyFans hottest new rising stars are Mexican prisoners. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Dance club bans staring without consent. Man climbed Mt. Fuji dressed as a pizza delivery guy.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 29 Aug 2022 22:10:49 +0000

Nightclub bans staring without getting verbal consent. Japanese worker climbs Mount Fuji dressed as Dominoes pizza delivery guy. Mysterious billboards in LA warn Californians to not move to Texas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman can't stop trying to buy children in Walmart parking lots. Botox Bandit strikes Florida!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 26 Aug 2022 22:16:23 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested for trying to buy a child again. Botox Bandit strikes again in Florida. Florida couple plead guilty to selling Biden's daughter's diary. Florida woman does an Irish folk dance during her DUI sobriety roadside test. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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School allows student to be a cat all day. Spankings are now allowed in this school district.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 25 Aug 2022 22:08:19 +0000

School allows student to identify and act like a cat. San Francisco chocolate shop teaches employees king fu. Missouri school district brings back spankings to schools. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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NASA releases sound of a Black Hole. Sleeping farmer cuts off his own meaty genitalia.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 24 Aug 2022 22:29:50 +0000

Parents ask to investigate a possible transgender athlete after daughters lose a sport event. NASA released the sound of a Black Hole. Sleeping man cut off his junk while dreaming of chopping meats. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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No more Hitler wine! Gang in India ran a fake police station out of a hotel.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 23 Aug 2022 22:13:04 +0000

Indian gang ran a fake police station out of a hotel. Italian winemaker will stop selling Hitler wine. French justice department approved prison go kart races. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Confederate Festival is canceled in Brazil. Strippers may unionize. First vaginal fluid transplant.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 22 Aug 2022 22:00:55 +0000

Strippers in Los Angeles may join the actors union. Confederate Festival in Brazil will be canceled. First vaginal fluid transplant gives hope to millions. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman walks into gay bar with a grenade. Florida couple make a Ferris wheel rock with sexy time

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 19 Aug 2022 22:34:28 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman walked into a gay bar with a hand grenade. Floridaman dirt bike influencer arrested. Florida couple has sex on a Ferris wheel. Florida woman threw a steak at her boyfriend. Florida woman has the record worlds longest hair. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Semen terrorism should be criminalized. Bouncy Houses are leading cause of windy fun death.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 18 Aug 2022 22:35:31 +0000

Bouncy House deaths are sort of common. South Korea has a semen terrorist issue. Do spiders sleep like humans? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Cum problem in Hong Kong. Japan tells its youth: get drunk so we can get out of this tax deficit!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 17 Aug 2022 23:18:32 +0000

Romanian National Bank hires a fortune teller to help them. Hong Kong has a major cum problem. Japanese government is encouraging young people to drink more. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Ketchup is in on the endangered list! Scotland hires a man to be its official "Period Officer".

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 16 Aug 2022 22:40:20 +0000

Spaghetti sauce is endangered due to water crisis in California. Scotland hired a man as Official Period Officer. Anal sex is popular and it causes health issues for women. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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He drinks his urine and wonders why roommate's upset. Ladies love well-groomed romantic Korean men.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 15 Aug 2022 22:40:03 +0000

No child support? No hunting! In Utah anyway. Why western women are traveling to South Korea looking for a lover. Man drinks his own urine clashes with roommate. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida perverts stay away from mating manatees! Lady called the police 11,000 times to berate them.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 12 Aug 2022 22:08:07 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman told police that meth is actually legal. Authorities think Florida perverts should keep away from mating manatees. Florida woman called police 11,000 times to harass and berate them. Why are The Villages rumored to be the STD capital of the US? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Cat food restaurant for humans opens in NYC. Ferrari recalls nearly every car sold since 2005.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 11 Aug 2022 22:29:49 +0000

Ferrari is recalling almost all cars sold since 2005. Man buys giant billboard in order to trade a piece of cheese. Fancy Feast cat food company opens a cat inspired restaurant in NYC. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Hyena testicles and marijuana promises from presidential candidate. Man ran across Ireland in 1 day.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 10 Aug 2022 23:00:04 +0000

Man ran the width of Ireland in under 24 hours. Presidential candidate running on a campaign of marijuana and hyena testicles. Airlines as executives to volunteer as baggage handlers. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man gave himself DIY nose job until hospitalized. Domino's pizza didn't make it in Italy turns out.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 9 Aug 2022 22:05:27 +0000

Man hospitalized after performing DIY nose job on himself. Domino's stay in Italy is finally ending. Frank Ocean is selling diamond encrusted penis rings. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Social media star arrested for bad singing. Athlete lost the race because his penis fell out.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 8 Aug 2022 22:07:45 +0000

Police arrest social media star for singing poorly. Athlete loses race after his penis falls out. Casper is hiring professional mappers. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman arrested for eating pasta "belligerently". Man threw urn full of ashes during argument.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 5 Aug 2022 22:03:55 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested for eating pasta belligerently. Vanilla Ice is building a museum/brewery in Florida . Floridaman named Redbeard stole roommates pet parrot. Naked Floridaman threw an urn full of ashes during an argument. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

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Bubble gum bubble blowing fetish is a real thing. Critics say Monkeypox is a racist name.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 4 Aug 2022 22:03:55 +0000

Critics say Monkeypox is a racist name. Woman makes lots of cash chewing gum and blowing bubbles on social media. Hershey won't be able to meet the Halloween candy demand this year. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Stabbing at a watermelon festival. War museum asks visitors to not have sex in their museum if war.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 3 Aug 2022 22:20:30 +0000

Polish museum asks visitors to not have sex inside museum. Airbnb apologizes for listing an 1830s slave quarters cabin. Man stabbed at the watermelon festival. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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No eating at the food festival! Last remaining witch has been exonerated by the state.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 2 Aug 2022 22:05:24 +0000

Hong Kong food expo won't allow eating. Massachusetts exonerates the last remaining witch. Red Bull bandits on the run in La Vegas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Short skirts aren't allowed at executions. Epidemic of fake violin players, police warn.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 1 Aug 2022 22:24:54 +0000

Epidemic of fake violin players, police warn. Reporter's skirt was too short to witness an execution. Why are they locking up the SPAM in New York City? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman broke into Space Force to warn of alien-dragon space war. Lady punched cop cuz she bored.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 29 Jul 2022 22:18:38 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman broke into stranger's home to kiss her on the cheek. Florida rapper Rollie Bands killed after challenging his enemies to meet him. Florida woman punched deputy out of boredom. Floridaman attempted to break into Space Force complex to warn the government about an alien dragon space battle. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Grandma's dying wish was a giant penis gravestone. Old man driving without a license for 50 years.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 28 Jul 2022 22:15:20 +0000

Old man arrested in Tokyo found to be driving 50 years without license. Old man charged for arson at dealership that sold him a bad Jeep in 1986. Dying grandma's wish to have 600 lb penis as her gravestone. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Preacher robbed at gunpoint during livestream sermon. Mayor in VA has never heard of a dance party.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 27 Jul 2022 22:56:05 +0000

Mayor offers a cash reward for mysterious techno bear source in Saturday night. Fast food restaurant founder bought Mega Millions jackpot tickets for all 50,000 of their employees. Flashy jewelry wearing preacher is robbed at gunpoint on livestream sermon. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Lawmaker wants ghosting to be criminalized. There's a good reason to put sugar on your butthole.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 26 Jul 2022 22:00:04 +0000

The medical reason why you put sugar on your butthole is legit. Pat Benatar refuses to sing her hit, Hit Me With Your Best Shot. Lawmaker wants ghosting to be criminalized. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Astronauts can't masturbate in space. Chess robot broke the finger of a child opponent.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 25 Jul 2022 22:00:46 +0000

2022 Tree Hugging Championship in Scotland. Russian chess robot broke the finger of a child opponent. Astronauts are not allowed to masturbate in space? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman steals apple juice while showing genitals. Lady stabs a mini van with a pitchfork.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 22 Jul 2022 22:06:49 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman exposed himself to the elderly as he sipped apple juice. Florida woman wields a pitchfork and whip outside a Publix. Floridaman wakes up with headache realizes he was shot. Frozen Stiffs ice cream in a hearse. Florida man called 911 reported himself kidnapped. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Lady sues her bad date for $10k. US troops banned from alcohol after drunk driving scooters.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 21 Jul 2022 22:37:12 +0000

Woman sues her bad date for $10k. US troops banned from alcohol after drunk driving scooters in Germany. A global lost luggage crisis mounts. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Doctors warn don't take the "Hitler Shot". Social Justice Summer Camp for your anarchist children.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 20 Jul 2022 21:52:31 +0000

Authorities in Egypt warn sick citizens not to take the "Hitler Shot". Man filed a lawsuit against Bass Pro Shops and their wool sock warranty. Social justice summer camp offered by anarchists in Oregon. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Tired at work? Take a nap in the "Nap Coffin". Short ladies can now be police officers.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 19 Jul 2022 22:48:53 +0000

Short women can now be police officers in Spain. An upright sleeping box is available for tired employees in Japan. Arizona police want residents to stop yelling at the tourists. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Red Heads get free admission to theaters to stay cool. Docs say don't put popsicles inside you.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 18 Jul 2022 22:06:28 +0000

Movie theater in UK offers free admission to Red Heads during heatwave. Lawsuit against Skittles claims candy is not healthy. Doctors in the UK warn women not to put ice lollies inside their private parts. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman stole Walmart shopping scooter to go on date. Inmate caught eating meth infused drawings.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 15 Jul 2022 21:59:27 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman stole a Walmart shopping scooter to take his lady on a date. Floridaman prisoner caught eating meth infused drawings of the sun. Floridaman writes scathing obituary for his questionable father. Floridaman activist asks to lead a Satanic prayer before high school football game. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Grown man finds out he has ovaries. Mom gives birth during a live Metallica concert.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 14 Jul 2022 21:54:11 +0000

Grown Chinese man learns that he has had ovaries his entire life. Mayor demands government employees smile or else. Metallica Baby! Mom gives birth at the live concert. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Use your own vaginal fluid as a DIY perfume. Stay for free in an all-glass hotel room.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 13 Jul 2022 22:05:39 +0000

Vabbing is the new DIY perfume that uses vaginal fluids. Distillery makes whiskey out of crabs to save the sea life. Stay in a glass hotel for free if you don't mind being watched. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man says Bigfoot told him to kill his fishing partner. Fake cricket tournament scammed the Russians.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 12 Jul 2022 22:33:20 +0000

Oklahoma man says Bigfoot told him to murder his fishing buddy. Half of Japanese companies claims they employ an old man that does nothing. Indian police bust a fake cricket tournament that fooled Russian gamblers. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Free milkshake with proof of vasectomy! Ice cream that won't melt with a blowtorch?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 11 Jul 2022 22:17:02 +0000

Chinese ice cream company invents ice cream that won't melt. Floating abortion clinic on a ship in the Gulf of Mexico planned. Hot dog cafe offers free beverage with proof of vasectomy. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman assaults elderly man to get rid of his demons. Floridaman exposes himself in a cemetery.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 8 Jul 2022 22:04:51 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman exposes himself in a cemetery. Floridaman kills a chicken in self defense. Floridaman assaults the elderly to get rid of demons. Floridaman charged for attacking an officer with a hotdog. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Mafia embraces homosexuality. Mayor marries an alligator in a dress to ensure abundance.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 7 Jul 2022 22:24:11 +0000

Mafia embraces homosexuality. Mexican mayor marries an alligator in ritual. Hangover pill is finally on the market in UK. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man almost killed by Whistling Scrotum. Pooping in public is okay as long as no one is watching.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 6 Jul 2022 22:27:34 +0000

Woman nearly died from his own whistling scrotum. New Zealand allows pooping in public if no one is watching you. Japan offers free noodles to the youth if they'll go vote this year. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Threesome leads to 60 person fight on a cruise. Accidentally overpaid worker took the money and ran.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 5 Jul 2022 21:59:06 +0000

60 person fight breaks out on Carnival Cruise ship over a threesome. Worker was accidentally paid 300 times his salary which he withdrew and disappeared. UK cinemas are banning teens in Minion suits from the theater. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida pastor gets frisky on a Starbucks patio. Floridaman set his boss's future home on fire.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 1 Jul 2022 22:16:52 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman set boss future home on fire because spirits told him to. Floridaman poses as Disney employee to steal R2D2 and make a point. Florida pastor engaged in a sex act at Starbucks. Florida outlaws loud music in your vehicle. Floridaman arrested for damaging a car to see if windows were bulletproof. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Annual Pickle Juice Drinking contest. Mystery rocket crashed on the moon and no one is claiming it.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 30 Jun 2022 22:11:22 +0000

Register the for annual Pickle Juice Drinking Contest in Pittsburgh. Canadian soft rock radio station played Rage Against the Machine all day on a loop. Mystery rocket crashed into the Moon and no one is claiming responsibility. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Lady tries to smuggle 2 porcupines in her luggage. Bomb threat at the Explosion Museum.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 29 Jun 2022 22:51:30 +0000

Woman caught with 2 porcupines and other exotic animals in her luggage. Police warn public to stay away from the Explosion Museum because it may explode. People are getting explosive gastroenteritis at the Grand Canyon. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Uber has grandpa's ashes and your lost pet turtle. Court grants man's wish to die by firing squad.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Jun 2022 22:22:03 +0000

Uber has a lost and found report that is long and weird. World's largest bacteria found in a swamp. Supreme Court grants prisoner wish to be executed by firing squad. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Fairies give the gift that ruins your life. Urine powered vehicles are making a splash.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 27 Jun 2022 22:13:09 +0000

Flying hotel that never lands powered by nuclear fusion. Pee-powered vehicles are making a splash. Woman accepts a gift from fairies and it ruined her life. /Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Naked Florida woman lights things on fire "to celebrate". Man stole police car to solve crimes.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 Jun 2022 22:25:31 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman gets cut off at Beauty and the Beast Bar. Floridaman stole police car and then answered calls. Kidnapped Floridaman saved by his own bad driving. Floridaman found a dead body while looking for his chicken. Naked Florida woman set bushes on fire as a celebration. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Amazon's Alexa will mimic your dead relative's voice. Mastercard launches its first music album.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 22:15:40 +0000

Amazon's Alexa will soon be able to mimic your dead relative's voice. Mastercard launches its first ever music album. Japanese city contractor got drunk and lost the hard drive with personal info of all citizens in the city. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Mites that have sex on your face may go extinct. Largest floating restaurant in the world has sunk.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Jun 2022 22:01:39 +0000

Tiny mites that have sex on our faces could go extinct. The Jumbo Floating Restaurant sinks after leaving Hong Kong. Passengers asked not to flick their hair on Thailand's Sky Train. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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No more urine in the elevator! Man drank 30 Pepsi's each day for 20 years.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 23:15:58 +0000

Man spent $8k per year on Pepsi for two decades. Japan makes online insults punishable by jail time. Boston transit is tired of the elevator urine. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man refused his pregnancy status, denied blood donation. Canadians summoned to jury while shopping.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 Jun 2022 22:45:25 +0000

50 Canadians were summoned to instant Jury Duty while shopping at the mall. Walking on hot coals is the new company bonding event gone wrong. Man denied his blood donation for refusing to answer his pregnancy status. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman punches ATM for giving him too much cash. Florida carjacks a street sweeper.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 Jun 2022 22:02:15 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman punches ATM machine for giving him too much cash. Floridaman carjacks a street sweeper. Florida mango heist of 2022. Gun and drugs found inside Florida woman. Floridaman stabs roommate over Toaster Strudel. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Sriracha sauce shortage is here! Annual Man vs. Horse Race won by a man.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 22:29:25 +0000

Man vs Horse race won by a mortal man. Sriracha sauce shortage on the way. Los Angeles has a secret illegal crosswalk painting organization. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Take Love Drugs and save your marriage! Hot air balloon crashes into a train.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 15 Jun 2022 22:03:47 +0000

Cheese rolling race in UK is notoriously dangerous. Love drugs will soon save your failing marriage. Hot air balloon crashed into a train. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Sexy trash cans talk dirty in Sweden. Google engineer suspended after saying the AI is sentient.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Jun 2022 22:43:02 +0000

Sexy trash cans talk dirty in Sweden. Tennessee sheriff warns citizens not to pick up dollar bills. Google engineer is suspended after saying the AI is sentient. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Elephant killed lady then attacked her body at funeral. Get paid to live with 100 cockroaches.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 13 Jun 2022 22:05:51 +0000

Pest company will pay you $2,000 to release 100 cockroaches inside your home. Elephant trampled lady to death in India and then attacked her a second time at her funeral. Two workers fell into a vat of chocolate at the M&M's factory in Pennsylvania. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman bitten by gator he thought was a dog. Floridaman explodes at a party and no one knows why

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 10 Jun 2022 21:48:06 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman bitten by a gator he thought was a dog. Floridaman "Monkey Whisperer" busted for trafficking illegal monkeys. Florida woman bitten by jellyfish while breaking world swim record. Floridaman explodes and nobody knows why. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Fake pee is illegal here. STD in a car leads to woman being paid $5million from GEICO insurance.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 Jun 2022 22:04:33 +0000

Man praised for taking his sick friend's virginity. GEICO pays woman $5million for getting an STD in her ex boyfriend's car. Michigan is making fake urine illegal. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Airline cabin crews can show their tramp stamps. KFC swaps lettuce for cabbage amid lettuce shortage

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 Jun 2022 21:59:59 +0000

Prisons in Michigan ban Dictionaries to prevent inmate disruptions. Virgin Atlantic airlines will allow cabin crews to show their tattoos. KFC Australia replaces lettuce with cabbage because of shortage. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Bloody Winnie the Pooh upsets police. Man divorced his wife for making too many instant noodles.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 Jun 2022 22:02:32 +0000

Man in India divorced wife for making instant noodles. Hot Dog vendor gets snubbed from the upcoming Weenie Fest. Winnie the Pooh Bloodied exhibit sparks outcry from the Police in Cincinnati. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Bees are fish according to court ruling. Restaurant wants customers to lick their salty walls.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 6 Jun 2022 22:30:27 +0000

Bees are fish according to California court ruling. Restaurant guests lick the salt wall. Man broke into a museum and destroyed ancient artifacts because he was mad at his girlfriend. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Fun Florida Slang Words. Floridaman missing and we think it's an alligator'a fault.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 3 Jun 2022 22:09:09 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida couple crashes into FedEx truck during road sex. Old man sues adult store for vibrator not working. Fun Florida Slang Words part 1 and 2. Floridaman killed by alligator while looking for frisbees. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Should Metaverse murder be punished as real life crime? No more Elvis-themed weddings in Las Vegas.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 2 Jun 2022 22:01:50 +0000

Unemployed youths are selling their toes in Zimbabwe. Should Metaverse murders be punished as real life crimes? No more Elvis-themed weddings in Las Vegas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Lady bites her sisters eyeball off. Period Crunch normalizes menstruation talk at breakfast table.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 1 Jun 2022 21:53:37 +0000

Woman bites her sisters eyeball off during drunk altercation. Period Crunch is a cereal that wants to normalize menstruation talk around the breakfast table. Catholic exorcists complain about long lines of possessed people with little help from Bishops. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man dressed as elderly lady attacked Mona Lisa with cake. Name changed to Salmon to get free sushi.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 31 May 2022 22:06:57 +0000

Man disguised as elderly woman attacked the Mona Lisa with cake. Taiwanese people stuck with the name Salmon after a sushi name change promotion. UK Woman ate her first real meal after 23 of potato chip sandwiches. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Circumcised penis argument leads to Floridaman arrest. It's hard to smoke meth and drive a truck.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 27 May 2022 22:01:32 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman blows up customers mailbox over non payment. Randeez Nuts will close in Florida. Fight over circumcised penis leads to arrest in Florida. Wanted Florida man goes to police station to ask for picture to be removed from social media. Floridaman can't drive a tractor trailer truck and smoke meth at same time. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Dolphins recognize each other by tasting urine. Sheep sentenced to 3 years in jail for killing lady.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 26 May 2022 22:08:01 +0000

Dolphins recognize friends by drinking their urine. Their returned stolen television stuck to his head by a witch doctor. Sheep sentenced to 3 years in jail for killing a woman. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Learn math on Pornhub! Jimi Hendrix's penis will be displayed in the Penis Museum.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 25 May 2022 21:47:29 +0000

Jimi Hendrix's penis will be displayed at the penis museum in Iceland. Hundreds of feet underground in Missouri sits 1.4 billion pounds of cheese. Math teacher in Taiwan gives calculus lessons on Pornhub. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man chops off his penis because he loves cannabis. Outdoor cat ban in Germany to save the birds.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 24 May 2022 22:06:56 +0000

Man chops off his penis for the greater good and he likes cannabis. Animal welfare groups are not happy that Germany has an outdoor cat ban. Tennessee is the first start to make camping in public a felony. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Is an elephant also a person? Entire town shuts down after their only clerk quits.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 23 May 2022 22:02:43 +0000

New York court will determine if an elephant is also a person. Iraqi university expels students for beheading a pigeon. Entire town in Maine shuts down after one clerk quits. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida woman attacks man with lettuce. Lady throws rubber snake at police. Florida Ice Ice Baby!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 20 May 2022 21:28:22 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman attacked a man with lettuce. Floridaman arrested for calling 911 demanding President Biden be arrested. Florida woman throws a rubber snake at police after high speed chase. Floridaman on trial for murder asks for makeup to cover the gun tattoos on his face. Singing Florida cafeteria workers get surprise visit from Floridaman Vanilla Ice. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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New bar only plays women's sports. Italian man called the police over price of espresso.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 19 May 2022 22:02:03 +0000

Bar in Portland only plays women's sports on tv. Ohio nonprofit will teach youth how to treat a gunshot wound. Coffee customer in Florence called the police over espresso price. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Mastercard allows you to pay using your face. FBI says don't hire any North Korean hackers please.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 18 May 2022 22:20:17 +0000

Real kissing is finally possible in Virtual Reality. FBI wants you to please not hire any North Korean hackers. Mastercard is about to let you pay using your own face. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Last Big Mac in Russia is served as McDonald's exits. Thieves return goods following nightmares .

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 17 May 2022 22:02:48 +0000

Russians line up for the very last Big Mac in their country. Thieves return stolen goods after having scary dreams. Middle schoolers accused of sexual harassment for using the wrong gender pronoun. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Parents sue their son for not giving them grandchildren. Students asked how to "de-gay" a friend.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 16 May 2022 22:36:35 +0000

Mother in Utah selling thousands of ounces of her breast milk for the formula shortage. Parents sue their kid for not giving them grandchildren. Homework assignment in Kentucky asks kids to explain how they would de-gay their good friend. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman driver told cops he only drank at stop signs. Getting arrested was on her bucket list?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 13 May 2022 22:14:39 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman tells deputy he only drank at stop signs. Florida woman claims getting arrested was on her bucket list. Floridaman shot in the butt by his wife says he still loves her. Passenger with no flying experience lands a plane in Florida after pilot passes out. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Lab-grown tiger steaks coming to your table soon. Farting got this soccer player kicked off team.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 12 May 2022 22:00:41 +0000

China's most handsome young man will sue you if you call him talentless. French soccer player kicked off the team for farting. New company will sell lab grown tiger steaks to restaurants. / Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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One million free cannabis plants given out by Thai government. When customers become the cooks.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 11 May 2022 22:38:04 +0000

Thailand is giving away one million free cannabis plants to households. Waffle House customers cook up food after chef quit on the job. Human remains uncovered again as Lake Mead water levels lower. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Leader of feces-eating cult arrested. All South Koreans are about to get one year younger.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 10 May 2022 22:20:07 +0000

Your dream of becoming a dog is now possible with a lifelike dog suit from Japan. All South Koreans will become one year younger. Leader of feces eating cult arrested for bodies. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man cuts victim's lawn before stealing their mower. Ms. Pac-Man enters World Video Game Hall of Fame

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 9 May 2022 22:05:36 +0000

Texas man cut victim's lawn before stealing their mower. M. Pac-Man enters the World Video Game Hall of Fame. Couple live full time on cruises because it's cheaper than buying a home. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida mom stops feeding baby cuz it's "so annoying", Drunk lady drove down the stairs, blames GPS.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 6 May 2022 21:40:30 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman drunk drives down the stairs blames it on GPS. Florida woman puts house up for sale and it comes with an ex husband. Florida mom stopped feeding her child because it was too annoying. Tropicana offers cereal specifically made for orange juice. Alligator broke into a garage and drank the Diet Coke. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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NASA launches nudes into space to attract horny aliens. Man working at same company for 84 years.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 5 May 2022 22:19:30 +0000

100 year old man broke world record after working at same company for 84 years. NASA will launch nudes into space to hopefully attract aliens. After many boar attacks, Rome citizens impose a curfew on themselves. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Dating sites see surge in men seeking Ukrainian women fleeing war. Smartphone addicted gorilla?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 4 May 2022 22:07:04 +0000

Delta airlines will now pay flight attendants during boarding. Dating sites notice surge in men seeking Ukrainian women fleeing the war. Smartphone addicted gorilla has screen time cut at the zoo. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Navy sergeant forced a semen cocktail onto recruits. Limb lengthening surgery is getting popular.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 3 May 2022 21:59:34 +0000

Limb lengthening surgery is all the rage. Texas researchers find loads of creepy dolls on the beaches. Navy officer arrested for forcing recruits to drink semen with fish sauce. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Feminist witch protest gets hairy. Canada will prosecute crimes on the moon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 2 May 2022 22:34:18 +0000

Canada will prosecute crimes on the moon. Family tried to carry home an unexploded shell on the plane as a souvenir. Feminist witch protest kicks off May Day in Berlin. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida mom threatens to blow up school for not feeding her kid enough. No peeing in the Beer Cave!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 29 Apr 2022 22:04:19 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida sheriff tells people to shoot burglars to save tax dollars. Florida mom threatens to blow up school for not feeding her kid enough. Floridaman pees inside the beer cave. Floridaman says he's Jesus, traps a minor in locker room for a kiss. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Worldwide penis size study will surprise you. Who needs fans at the baseball game when there's cats?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 28 Apr 2022 22:30:19 +0000

Worldwide penis sizes will surprise you. Humans are out and the cats are in at Oakland As ballpark. Parents debate over teacher bringing cotton plant into school to teach kids about slaves and the gin. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Woman married her cat to avoid eviction. Idiot fooled by a Red Hot Chili Pepper coverband.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 27 Apr 2022 22:20:50 +0000

Woman married her pet cat to avoid a landlord eviction. Saudi restaurant shut down for making food in the toilet for 30 years. Fan accidentally buys Red Hot Chili Pepper coverband tickets instead of the real Chili Peppers and is angry. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man married a hologram, no family showed up to wedding. College offers a pornography course.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 26 Apr 2022 22:17:44 +0000

Japanese man married a fictional hologram singer. Woman rescued after falling headfirst into an outdoor toilet. Utah college offers course in pornography. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Senior citizen pleads guilty to having sex with a cat. "Lake Chipotle" is a popular tourist spot.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 25 Apr 2022 22:05:43 +0000

Senior citizen pleads guilty for having sex with a cat. Parking lot dubbed "Lake Chipotle" is a popular tourist spot. California man threatened to bomb Merriam Webster's Dictionary Co. over gender definitions. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida bride laced the wedding food with cannabis. Gatorpalooza has a Floridaman race through swamp

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 22 Apr 2022 22:24:25 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Gatorland announces Gatorpalooza with a Floridaman race. Floridaman threatened a hotel employee with a wizard wand. Floridaman called the police on himself after keeping hostages for two days. Florida bride and caterer laced the food with cannabis unbeknownst to all guests. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Scared haunted house customer shoots a performer. World record for most vampires gathered.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 21 Apr 2022 22:13:07 +0000

Haunted house customer shot a performer because he got scared. Baby born with two penises has one removed. Whitby Dracula festival invites vampires from all over the world to break a record. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Penile implants and viagra for the Brazilian military. Home for sale with a stranger in the basement

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 20 Apr 2022 21:58:36 +0000

Brazilian government bought $700k worth of penile implants for their military. Wanna buy a $800k home that comes with a stranger living in the basement? Why do our farts smell worse in the shower? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man tore his lung masturbating. Man sued employer for throwing him an unwanted birthday party.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 19 Apr 2022 22:24:19 +0000

Girl who can't smile gets an international modeling contract. Kentucky man sued employer for throwing him an unwanted birthday party. Man tore his lung masturbating. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Kindergartner brings tequila to school, shares with classmates. Professional baby namer makes $$.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 18 Apr 2022 22:03:03 +0000

Woman charges $10k as a professional baby namer. Kindergartner brings tequila to school and shares with classmates. Parent in an Easter bunny costume hands out condoms at a Texas elementary school. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida babysitter put the kid in the dryer. Woman beats up her father following sex toy delivery.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 15 Apr 2022 22:05:53 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida babysitter put the child in a dryer. Florida teens shoot each other while wearing body armor. Florida woman beats up father after sex toy delivery. Floridaman pretends to be police to get Wendy's discount. Floridaman breaks the movie watching record. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Four men arrested for raping a lizard. Protestor glued herself to the floor during an NBA game.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 14 Apr 2022 22:52:31 +0000

Four men in India arrested for raping a lizard. Protestor glued herself to the floor during a live NBA game. NASA built a space catapult to fling things into space. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Threesome with a sex robot is preferable? Super sized Illegal taxidermy collection busted.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 13 Apr 2022 22:13:49 +0000

Woman impersonates a doctor for three years. Study says people prefer to have a threesome with a sex robot. Police in Spain bust largest illegal taxidermy collection. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Driving under the influence of uncontrollable defecation. Why are Cheetos banned in Germany?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 12 Apr 2022 22:13:21 +0000

Why are Cheetos banned in Germany? Japanese Netflix show sends children into busy cities to do chores and people don't like it. Driver kills two cyclists and then blames it on uncontrollable defecation. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Obese diners not allowed in the naked restaurant. Woman held her farts in so long she hospitalized.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 11 Apr 2022 21:57:01 +0000

Overweight diners won't be allowed to eat in the naked restaurant in Japan. Woman held her farts in for two years and ended up hospitalized. Three Iranian women arrested for dancing in a cemetery. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman driving instructor arrested for drunk driving. Woman attacked her girlfriend using a cat.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 8 Apr 2022 22:01:10 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida driving instructor arrested for DUI. Florida woman excused from jury duty because she's busy with her sugar daddy. Floridaman beat his roommate with a stick over what a mosquito looks like. Florida woman battered her girlfriend with the pet cat. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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What did the mushroom tell you? Airlines passenger arrested for doing a bad thing four times.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 7 Apr 2022 22:11:28 +0000

Scientists gave lions oxytocin so they would love each other more. Southwest Airlines passenger arrested for masturbating four times on one flight. Mushrooms may be communicating with each other using "words" as humans do. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Author of How to Murder Your Husband is on trial for murdering husband. Get paid to count penguins!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 6 Apr 2022 21:59:35 +0000

Author of How to Murder Your Husband is on trial for murdering her husband. Antarctic post office is hiring and counting penguins is part of the job. Burger King is being sued because Whopper is smaller in real life. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Dead rapper's body displayed on stage at nightclub. Scientists are telling the aliens where we are.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 5 Apr 2022 22:11:03 +0000

Student list both nipples in a deodorant spray dare. Scientists will broadcast Earth's exact location to Aliens. Embalmed body of dead rapper displayed on stage at DC nightclub. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Penis Festival celebrates the iron dong. Dancing fake nun banned from a major monastery's

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 4 Apr 2022 22:31:38 +0000

Fake dancing nun banned from a major monastery. Chinese man has been living at the Beijing airport for 14 years. Japanese city hosts the annual Penis Festival // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida couple use counterfeit money at Dollar Store. Apparently you CAN get nude in the parks!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 1 Apr 2022 22:01:14 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman wanted for stealing $4,300 worth of Oil of Olay from a Walgreens. Floridaman cut the power to a liquor store after they refused him service. Florida couple arrested for spending counterfeit money at a Dollar Store. Nudity in America's National Parks is actually legal? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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No shoes? No plane? No problem! Should all Russians be denied their fun?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 31 Mar 2022 22:04:24 +0000

Teacher in Pakistan killed over a blasphemy dream. Shoeless pilot in a stolen plane intercepted by the French Army. Ukraine asks Nepal to deny Russian climbers in Himalayas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Best man stole the bride after his loving wedding speech. Bad bad bad bad badminton players!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 30 Mar 2022 22:10:06 +0000

Illinois woman keeps getting unwanted shoe deliveries. Best man stole the bride after confessing love during wedding speech. Chinese badminton players guilty of not playing their best. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Tree farts are destroying the planet. Watch out for those imitation Wonka Bars everyone!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 22:03:07 +0000

Tree farts contribute to greenhouse gas emissions from ghost forests. Man built his own x ray machine after huge hospital bill. Watch out for the fake Wonka Bars everyone! // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Leopard invasion caused closure at Mercedes factory. Company offers masturbation breaks in pods.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 28 Mar 2022 22:44:00 +0000

The Japanese man so good at doing nothing he gets paid for it. Company offers employees masturbation breaks in the wank pods. Mercedes Benz factory closed because of a leopard invasion. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman stole 20 left shoes from a shoe store. Florida boy tells cops his mommy drunk drives.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 25 Mar 2022 22:13:16 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman broke into a store and stole 20 left shoes. Floridaman accused of dumping scooters into Tampa Bay. Florida boy tells the police that his mother is actually drunk driving. Group of Men in Florida hacked gas pumps to lower the prices. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Abandoned "gay" dog is adopted by gay couple. Patient uses his brain implant to request to hear Tool

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 22:00:26 +0000

Abandoned "gay" dog gets adopted by gay couple. First patient to communicate by brain implant requests to listen to Tool. College professor sues students for posting exam answers online. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Rubber penis controversy in India. Scientists translate a spider web into music.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 23 Mar 2022 22:11:33 +0000

Rubber penis in a sex Ed kit causes controversy in India. Scientists translated a spider web into music. Funeral home sued for cremating someone that wanted to be raptured. //Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Woman searches for man whose name is tattooed on her butt. The new sober curious movement.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 22 Mar 2022 22:12:29 +0000

Alcohol free bar in Texas fuels the new sober curious movement. Woman looking for mystery man whose name is tattooed on her bum. Texas man kidnapped woman and forced her to go on a job interview with him. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Farmer gets a live chicken lodged in his rectum. Country cancels exams due to paper shortages.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 21 Mar 2022 22:19:25 +0000

Sri Lanka cancels exams because of nationwide paper shortage. Indiana egg farmer hospitalized with a live chicken in his rectum. There's a shortage of naked buff men in the UK. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman asks police to test his meth for authenticity. Floridaman named Ashtray is not right.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 18 Mar 2022 22:50:12 +0000

Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman calls 911 to have meth tested. Floridaman masturbation inside Starbucks. Floridaman named Ashtray. Florida teen shot a woman with Orbeez. // FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Teacher put his colleague's toothbrush in his mouth 20 times. Political impersonator escape plan.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 17 Mar 2022 22:22:14 +0000

Japanese teacher used a colleague's toothbrush 20 times. Putin and Kim Jong Un impersonators assist a Zelensky impersonator out of Ukraine. Medical student in India cheats on a test using surgical implants. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Offensive steam trains are now canceled! Man claims his AI girlfriend saved his marriage.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 16 Mar 2022 22:36:50 +0000

Man claims his AI girlfriend saved his marriage. Santa Barbra may declare Chick Fil A drive thru a public nuisance. Steam trains are canceled by a museum that says it's rooted in slavery. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Pickup free roadkill and eat it with this new app! Japan outlaws the ponytail in schools.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 15 Mar 2022 22:26:16 +0000

Japanese schools outlaw pony tails because it excites the boys. Wyoming state has a new app for claiming and eating roadkill. Man sued telemarketers over robocalls and won lots of money. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Camel kills two men after escaping a petting zoo. "I Need a New Butt" is a scandalous book.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 14 Mar 2022 22:04:07 +0000

Camel escapes a petting zoo and kills two men in Tennessee. There are no 5 fewer Doritos in the bag and the cause is inflation. Principal fired for reading "I Need a New Butt!" to the students. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida woman high on deodorant gets DUI. Florida teacher bites two students over a jar of pickles.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 11 Mar 2022 23:25:29 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida teacher bites students over jar of pickles. Floridaman tried to cut the gay out of his brother. Florida woman arrested for DUI for huffing deodorant. Naked Floridaman pooped on his neighbor's glass table. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Wife shot husband's penis with harpoon gun. Feminists plan to launch a vulva shaped space craft.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 10 Mar 2022 23:11:09 +0000

Wife shot her husband in the penis with a harpoon gun for not making dinner in Thailand. Ecstasy found in the Moet champagne. German Feminists start a petition to launch a vulva shaped spaceship. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man had sex with 450 tractors. Woman fights to keep her FART license plate.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 9 Mar 2022 23:03:02 +0000

Man has sex with 450 tractors in Suffolk. Woman fights for her FART license place in North Carolina. A new venomous pretty large spider is spreading across the US. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man dies from 200 cups of coffee. The Fox Demon has been released from the Killing Stone yikes!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 8 Mar 2022 23:20:06 +0000

Personal trainer died from a caffeine overdose equivalent to 200 cups of coffee. Japan's Killing Stone has split and the fox demon may be among us. Endangered shark meat may be in your pet food. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Box of human heads stolen from medical truck. Mail carrier on trial for murdering a wild Turkey.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 7 Mar 2022 23:21:07 +0000

Box of human heads stolen from medical truck in Colorado. Man marries triplets after sisters propose polygamy union in the Congo. Mail carrier accused of wild Turkey murder. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman blames Putin for speeding. Florida woman hides a smoking device inside her vagina.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 4 Mar 2022 23:20:44 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman hid a smoking device inside her vagina. Intoxicated Florida woman grabbed a police officer's penis. Drunk Floridaman crashed a car and then got philosophical. Speeding Floridaman blamed Putin. Florida school employee fired for taping a student. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Private schools have a strict dress code for parents. Smart birds remove their own tracking devices.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 3 Mar 2022 23:09:45 +0000

Magpie outwit scientists by removing their tracking devices themselves. Wisconsin woman beheaded a man following meth sex killing. Private schools in India have a dress code for parents. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Bees are ejaculating until they explode. Female students scream about being attacked by evil spirits

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 2 Mar 2022 22:57:35 +0000

Bees are ejaculating to death during heatwaves. Students in South Africa are losing their minds over evil spirit attacks. Study shows washing dishes lowers the risk of heart disease. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Walmart might soon deliver babies. Why are women mixing their period blood with rice?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 1 Mar 2022 23:19:03 +0000

Walmart will soon deliver your baby. Survey shows people suffer low phone battery anxiety. Why are women squatting over steaming rice? // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Get paid to smell dog poop! Now you can be buried in a coral reef under the sea.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 28 Feb 2022 23:56:00 +0000

New trend to be buried in a coral reef under the sea. Company offers $6k to smell dog poop for two months. Subway store is target of filthy rotten graffiti in Oakland. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Florida woman used Covid funds to hire a hitman. Hard Alcohol Mountain Dew is debuting in Florida.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 25 Feb 2022 23:29:13 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman lured a food delivery boy back to her apartment for poppers and sex. Florida woman used Covid relief money to hire a Hitman. Florida will be among first states to try Hard Mountain Dew. Floridaman named Lo Key and his sidekick Monkey Man are wanted. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Lady quit her job to breastfeed her boyfriend full time. Virtual strip clubs in the Metaverse.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 24 Feb 2022 23:09:58 +0000

Double-proxy marriages on the rise in Montana. Metaverse allows children inside virtual strip clubs. Woman quit her job to breastfeed her boyfriend full time. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man became a blood slave after answering fake job ad. Pro gamer says short people need new bones.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 23:31:51 +0000

Man answered a fake job ad and ends up a blood slave in Cambodia. Pro eSports gamer terminated for remarks on short people. Family Dollar closes 400 stores over rat infestation. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Teacher fed students sperm laced cupcakes. Wedding song choice leads to fastest divorce ever.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 23:23:24 +0000

Beekeepers turn to anti theft technology to protect their hives. Teacher fed her students cupcakes containing husband's sperm. Man divorced his wife in record time after she chose an inappropriate song at the wedding. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Frozen penis doesn't deter Olympic skier. Volunteer to get strip searched at the new Swiss prison.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 21 Feb 2022 23:34:59 +0000

Volunteers wanted to test a new Swiss prison. Olympic cross country skier suffers a frozen penis. Wordless bans "slave" because it's so offensive. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Drunk naked Florida sisters fight at Disney. Floridaman blesses everyone while stealing their money.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 18 Feb 2022 23:10:13 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Drunk naked Florida sisters brawl at Disney World. Floridaman arrested for trading vapes to smell minors' feet. Floridaman arrested for throwing cookies all over the gas station. Florida bank robber apologizes profusely on the way out of the bank. Floridaman has changed over 10,000 billboards. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Tesla's are no longer allowed to fart at people. Zoo hired Marvin Gaye singer to put monkeys in mood

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 17 Feb 2022 23:36:37 +0000

US Government says Tesla vehicles are not allowed to fart at pedestrians any longer. Stanford zoo hired a Marvin Gaye impersonator to help the monkeys get it on. Google Maps led a groom to the wrong wedding and he nearly married a stranger. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Priest performed baptisms wrongly for 20 years. Thousands of drivers got license without a road test

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 16 Feb 2022 22:57:57 +0000

Priest resigns after learning he performed Baptisms incorrectly for 20 years. The Somerset lady ghost tells tourists to F*** Off. Four workers fired after thousands of Massachusetts drivers were given a license without passing a road test. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Penis reduction surgery to make an influencer more Korean? Perfume that smells like french fries.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 16 Feb 2022 00:07:06 +0000

Transracial influencer will get penis reduction surgery to become more Korean. Crazy bell ringing priest terrorized entire village. Idaho Potato Commission launches French dry perfume. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Americans lost $1 billion to romance scammers. Queen launches her Royal Ketchup.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 15 Feb 2022 00:44:32 +0000

Americans lost a billion dollars in Romance Scams last year. New Zealand police blast Barry Manilow music to flush out the protestors. The Queen is launching royal ketchup. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida woman stabs her neighbors over leaves. Drunk man attacks diners and claims to be Mick Jagger

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 11 Feb 2022 23:22:29 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida bus driver accused of DUI with 40 students on board. Drunk Floridaman claimed to be Mick Jagger. Leaf blowing feud leads to Florida woman stabbing neighbors. Help Florida police send your ex to jail for Valentine's Day. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Pregnant woman put a nail in her skull to ensure a boy. Bored museum guard drew eyes on $1m painting

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 10 Feb 2022 23:43:53 +0000

Faith healer convinced pregnant woman to put a nail in her skull to ensure a boy. Security guard drew cartoon eyes on a $1m painting out of boredom. Horny line of bears launched by Build a Bear for Valentine's Day. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Ice fishing leads to prostitution, claims one mayor. Pillow fighting is an official combat sport.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 9 Feb 2022 23:07:23 +0000

Mayor in Hudson Ohio suggests ice fishing leads to prostitution. Lady with a nut allergy kicked off a flight. Pillow fighting is now an official combat sport. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oldest pub in the world is about to close. No more steroids testing in Major League Baseball?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 8 Feb 2022 23:15:43 +0000

The oldest pub set to close after 1,229 years. Vets call for the end of flat faced dogs on greeting cards. MLB will stop testing players for steroids. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Lady finds naked man living in the trunk of her car for days. The end of the Space Station.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 7 Feb 2022 23:06:36 +0000

The space station is going to die and here's how. Woman finds naked man living in the trunk of her car for days. Students protest the removal of chocolate milk from menu. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman attacked a lady with Ramen noodles. Floridaman stole a driveway. Drugs in the rectum!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 4 Feb 2022 23:13:49 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman tried to break into Target to steal flowers for his mom. Floridaman battered a woman with Ramen noodles. Floridaman charged with stealing a woman's driveway. Naked Floridaman drive around with wires on his penis. Search in Floridaman buttocks revealed drugs and more drugs. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

No more guns at the amusement park? Scientists built a robot that can read the minds of humans.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 3 Feb 2022 23:01:17 +0000

Scientists in China have built a robot that reads minds. Taliban are no longer allowed to bring their guns to amusement parks. Texas police department will text drivers their traffic tickets. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ghost of a NASCAR driver told me to drunk drive! Doctors can prescribe you go get lost in the woods.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 2 Feb 2022 22:57:03 +0000

Doctors in Canada can prescribe a year long pass to the National Parks for health. New law in Belgium gives federal workers the Right to Disconnect. Suspect in Las Vegas car crash blames it all on the ghost of a NASCAR driver. Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Old sperm donor gives away his seed on Facebook. Man changed his gender to retire early as a woman.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 1 Feb 2022 23:07:26 +0000

Prolific sperm donor gives his seed away for free on Facebook. Swiss man changes gender to retire early as a woman. Unknown space object beaming out radio signals every 18 minutes. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Royal poop protection for his majesty in North Korea. Transgender cow is about to be saved.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 31 Jan 2022 23:14:03 +0000

Iceland preserves their last Big Mac meal for history. Polish activist is trying to save a transgender cow from slaughter. Kim Jong-un has bizarre rules protecting his royal poop. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman claims his bag of syringes is for fishing. Shirtless drunk man arrested over bacon.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 28 Jan 2022 23:03:46 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Drunk shirtless Floridaman arrested at Waffle House over bacon preferences. Drunk Floridaman arrested at Tampa airport. Don't Say Gay bill moved forward in Florida. Floridaman on drugs claims the bag of syringes are for fishing. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Octopuses are aliens from outer space? Man set a bank on fire after being rejected for a loan.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 27 Jan 2022 23:36:25 +0000

New scientific paper claims octopuses are aliens from space. Winter Olympics demands no hugging but will give out thousands of free condoms to athletes. Indian man set bank on fire after being denied a loan. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Want some bodily fluids with your Air Jordans? Strange man snuck into a hospital to feed a baby.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 26 Jan 2022 23:09:30 +0000

Footlocker manager in Canada ejaculates into sneakers. Stranger snuck into a hospital to feed a baby that isn't his. Catalonia will pardon up to 1,000 people accused of witchcraft. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Men create AI girlfriends in order to abuse them. Huge Knob Throwing Festival has been canceled.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 25 Jan 2022 23:18:53 +0000

Truck with 100 lab monkeys crashed and four escaped in Pennsylvania. Men are creating AI chatbot girlfriends and then verbally abusing them. Dorsey Knob Throwing Festival canceled because it's too popular. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Lady tried to buy a child off a mother inside Walmart. Doctor claims you can fart yourself blind.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 24 Jan 2022 23:41:06 +0000

Texas woman demands mother sell her son at Walmart for $500k. Two men take corpse to post office to claim dead man's pension in Ireland. Doctor claims it's possible to fart yourself blind. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Floridaman says he wasn't drunk driving, he was singing with eyes closed. Lady set own car on fire.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 21 Jan 2022 23:50:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Airline pilot turned the plane around when Florida woman refused to wear a mask. Floridaman wasn't driving drunk, he was singing with his eyes closed. Florida woman set her own car on fire after being pulled over for erratic driving. Florida bill would allow cameras inside classrooms. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Drunk priest mistakenly sacrificed a human instead of a goat. Sharks can turn into werewolves.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 20 Jan 2022 23:21:35 +0000

Russian artist arrested for a poop snow sculpture. Sharks turn into werewolves under the full moon. Drunk priest mistakenly sacrificed a human instead of a goat. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Cloning your deceased pet for social media is popular. Japan will now use the question mark.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 19 Jan 2022 23:09:40 +0000

Cloning a deceased pet is popular with Instagrammers. Japanese government is now officially allowed to use question marks. Rap stars call for an end to using rap lyrics as criminal evidence.// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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French Bulldogs are the number one target of dog thieves but why? No one cares about French dressing

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 18 Jan 2022 23:14:30 +0000

After 70 years French salad dressing will be de regulated. Why are thieves targeting French Bulldogs? Man lights himself on fire after being denied an arranged marriage by agency in South Korea. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Poop shortages in North Korea. Town requires all residents to remove their appendix to live there.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 17 Jan 2022 23:04:12 +0000

Kim Jong Un asks citizens of North Korea to poop more. Town demands residents remove those apprentixes in order to live there. Mexico seized boxes of Kellogg's cereal because they break the law. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida women assault a man with glitter. Floridaman drunk dials 911 because he ran out of vodka.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 23:39:21 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman stops to charge his ankle monitor in the middle of a new crime spree. Two Florida women arrested for assaulting a man with glitter. Parents upset that Satanic Meetup Group happens at their elementary school. Floridaman arrested for drunk dialing 911 when he ran out of vodka. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Lady trapped with her blind date for days in lockdown. Organ donor found in a Target parking lot.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 13 Jan 2022 23:33:23 +0000

Elvis is nearly extinct in Las Vegas these days. China trapped a woman with her blind date for days in a Covid lockdown. Woman found an organ donor in a Target parking lot. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Gay sex scene at the Acropolis sparks outcry. Doctor carved his initials in the livers of patients.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 12 Jan 2022 23:50:47 +0000

Doctor in trouble for carving initials in the livers of patients. London man takes an ad out to find a wife and avoid his arranged marriage. Gay sex porn scene shot at the Acropolis angers Greek government. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Global french fries shortage emergency! Man runs a moist towelette museum inside a planetarium.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 23:28:50 +0000

Moist Towelette Museum ran inside a planetarium? Growing global potato shortage is affecting French fries from Japan to Kenya. Cambodia's famous mine sniffing rat has passed away after saving many lives. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Gateway to Hell will be soon be closed. Woman marries the color pink in Vegas.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 10 Jan 2022 23:09:34 +0000

Turkmenistan plans to close the Gateway to Hell. Restaurant of Mistaken Orders in Tokyo hires servers with dementia. Woman married the color pink at New Years. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman dances on police car to ward off vampires. Woman has a van she gets students high in.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 7 Jan 2022 23:24:26 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman puts flyers on New Yorker cars saying, "Get out of Florida if you're woke!". Florida middle school employee meets a 14 year old at 1am to get him high in her van. Floridaman dances on police car to ward off vampires. Masshole defecates in Florida school property. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Cats are starting fires in South Korea. Pope says if you have a pet and not a child, you're selfish.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 6 Jan 2022 23:18:41 +0000

Tennessee lawmaker apologized for trying to pants a referee at basketball game. South Korea warns of fires being started by cats. Pope says if you have a pet instead of a child you're selfish. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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North Korea claims they invented burritos. German woman announces she will marry an airplane.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 5 Jan 2022 23:15:05 +0000

German woman is about to marry a plane. Taliban orders shopkeepers to behead all mannequins. North Korea claims they invested the burrito. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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PBR beer company tells everyone to eat butt. Man enters North Korea in rare border defection.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 4 Jan 2022 22:46:38 +0000

New law in France requires car commercials to instruct viewers to go for a walk. Pabst Blue Ribbon tweeted about eating some bum. South Korean man crossed the border in rare defection to the North. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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France burned fewer cars this New Year's Eve. Fish rain down on a Texas town.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 3 Jan 2022 23:11:00 +0000

France burned fewer cars on New Year's Eve this year. Fish fall from the sky in Texas. Bloodthirsty squirrel terrorized a UK town injuring 18 residents. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman calls 911, says he has cocaine in his butt. Man with no arms stabs a tourist in Miami.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 31 Dec 2021 22:48:00 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman broke into woman's home to pet her cat. Floridaman without arms stabbed a tourist in Miami. Floridaman with a kitten is denied entry to strip club so called 911. Floridaman called 911 to say he has cocaine in his butt. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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A community wants to keep on sniffing glue. "Don't weigh me", cards to avoid shame at the doctor.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 23:59:25 +0000

Residents urge officials to decriminalize sniffing glue. Nerf gun assault escalated into further violence. Don't weigh me cards for your doctor to avoid shame. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Alexa challenges a girl to electrocute herself. McDonald's is testing exercise bikes in stores.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 28 Dec 2021 23:18:01 +0000

Alexa challenges 10 year old girl to electrocute herself. McDonald's in China is testing exercise bikes in their restaurants. Brothers in New Hampshire have regifted the same box of candy for 34 years at Christmas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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NASA hires priests for help with Alien preparation. Earn thousands per year as a pro funeral cryer.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 27 Dec 2021 23:20:26 +0000

Michigan animal shelter is overwhelmed with parakeet drop off. Earn thousand a year as a professional funeral cryer. NASA hired some priests to help humanity prepare for alien arrival. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman claims drugs wrapped round his penis aren't his. Lady throws poop at cops, wields machete

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 24 Dec 2021 23:22:54 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida police find two alligators hanging from the window of crashed vehicle at accident. Florida woman jailed after admitting to having cocaine fueled sex with a dog. Machete wielding Florida woman throws feces at police. Floridaman claims the drugs wrapped around his penis don't belong to him. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Expert ham sniffers tired from sniffing all these hams. Lickable screens allow tasting food on TV.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 23 Dec 2021 23:08:16 +0000

Taste the TV! Japan invents screens you can lick and taste foods. Expert ham sniffers in Spain are tired from sniffing 800 hams a day. An entire civilization of mole people live underneath Las Vegas. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Holiday drug gift basket raffle thwarted by police raid. Grandpa's ashes end up on a shelf at Lowe's

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 22 Dec 2021 23:11:05 +0000

Grandpa's ashes end up on the shelf at Lowe's department store. Drug raid in Spain ruins drug dealer plans to raffle off holiday drug baskets. Amsterdam airport officials use pigs to stop birds from flying into planes. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Monkeys killed all the dogs in this Indian town. There's a candy cane shortage this holiday.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 21 Dec 2021 23:04:05 +0000

Group of monkeys in India kill over 250 dogs for revenge. There's a candy cane shortage this holiday. Professional cavewoman survives on roadkill and also is a teacher. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Berlin metro offers edible hemp train tickets. Horseshoe crab blood is at all time high demand.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 20 Dec 2021 23:06:34 +0000

Horseshoe crabs are in danger because everyone wants their blood. Berlin metro offers edible hemp passenger tickets. Five year old boy caught stealing parents car to drive off and buy Christmas gifts. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Florida woman poisons boyfriend to shut him up. Floridaman attacked his own mother with sausages.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 17 Dec 2021 23:37:03 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman poisoned boyfriend because he wouldn't shut up. Floridaman arrested for chucking a sausage at his mother. Floridaman stole a plane to kidnap Fidel Castro. Floridaman slapped an elderly Salvation Army bell ringer this Holiday. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man steals his sleeping ex-girlfriend's money by lifting her eyelids. Someone stole a bridge!

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 16 Dec 2021 23:10:40 +0000

Theft of a large bridge doesn't go over well with Akron police. Man sentenced after stealing $23k from his girlfriend by lifting her eyelids. In need of more babies, China clamps down on vasectomies. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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TV star sells her farts in a jar for $45k. Brazilian politicians settle dispute in the MMA ring.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 15 Dec 2021 23:02:47 +0000

Television star sells her farts in a jar for $45k. Kraft will pay you not to bake a cheesecake this Holiday season. Brazilian politicians settle a dispute with an MMA match that's streamed live. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Storm drains keep swallowing people like black holes! No more babies allowed inside Parliament.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 14 Dec 2021 23:20:08 +0000

Storm drains keep swallowing people everywhere during floods. No more babies allowed in Parliament. 48 yo Woman stole her daughter's identity in order to live like a 22 yo college student. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Porn actor offers chess champion a night with her. Thousands of illegal African penises seized.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 23:23:28 +0000

Chinese seize over 7,000 African penises in largest smuggling attempt ever. Italian diocese apologized after a bishop tells children Santa doesn't exist. Porn actress offers chess champion a night with her if he's victorious. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman used a flamethrower to settle parking dispute. Bullets in the toaster over cause a fire.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 10 Dec 2021 23:29:12 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman porn star arrested on multiple charges. Florida woman leads police on a wild golf course DUI chase. Bullets in a toaster oven start fire in assisted living facility. Floridaman used a flame thrower to settle parking dispute. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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3D printed suicide pods are now legal. School district eliminates D and F grades for lucky kids.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Thu, 9 Dec 2021 23:15:01 +0000

3D printed suicide capsules are now legal in Switzerland. Tree that smells like rotting fish has a bounty on its head. California school districts eliminate D and F grades. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Botox camels disqualified from camel beauty contest. Cream cheese shortage in New York City.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Wed, 8 Dec 2021 22:54:31 +0000

Botox camels were disqualified from the camel beauty contest in Saudi. Viagra could help prevent Alzheimer's new research shows. A cream cheese shortage in New York City is crushing bagel joints. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Lady rammed to death by a therapy sheep. The state with the most dog poop complaints is?

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Tue, 7 Dec 2021 23:06:51 +0000

Volunteer died after being rammed by a therapy sheep at a farm. Earth is getting a black box to record climate change events that will eventually destroy us. Colorado leads the US in dog poop complaints according to a study. //
Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Man gets WWII mortar shell stuck inside his rectum. Teacher fired for bringing a karaoke machine.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Mon, 6 Dec 2021 23:02:36 +0000

Bomb squad called after man gets WWII mortar shell stuck inside his rectum. Texas substitute teacher fired for bringing a karaoke machine to class. Ninja wielding a sword shot by French police. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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Floridaman stabs lady with a fork over undercooked potato. Massive child brawl at trampoline park.

funnyjones@gmail.com (Jonesy) — Fri, 3 Dec 2021 23:49:10 +0000

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman arrested for sitting on a woman at the gym. Floridaman stabs woman in the head with a fork over undercooked potato. Florida trampoline park brawl involving 200 children. Florida woman dials wrong number for 20 years and builds friendship with a stranger. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.

Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones or http://facebook.com/comedianjonesy or http://Jonesy.com

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