https://simplecast.com Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective. 2024 - Pure Desire Ministries en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 09:30:00 +0000 Tue, 21 Apr 2026 09:30:13 +0000 https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love https://image.simplecastcdn.com/images/7f978b32-bbaa-4973-83e5-0818c1a887f8/c2a0152a-6a8b-4814-a68b-484050fdf2da/3000x3000/unfiltered-cover-art.jpg?aid=rss_feed https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com episodic Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective. Ashley Jameson, Heather Kolb, Pure Desire Ministries false https://feeds.simplecast.com/HXTkdLjq addiction, betrayal, christian, healing, love, marriage, mental health, porn, recovery, relationships, religion, self-help, self-improvement, sex, trauma, women Pure Desire Ministries unfiltered@puredesire.org b0a9142d-f468-41a9-bd9c-50ef762dc43a 097 - Red Flags & Relapse: Facing a Spouse Who Keeps Returning to Porn Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • After years of recovery work and shared ministry, I’m facing renewed betrayal as my husband returns to secretive, addictive behaviors, becomes defensive and angry, and dismisses my need for safety. I feel destabilized, fearful there may be more hidden, and unsure how to respond. Are these serious red flags? How do I move forward when my spouse seems to abandon recovery and the marriage itself?
  • We’ve been separated for nearly a year, with my husband in recovery programs, yet repeated relapses keep extending our separation. On the surface, he appears committed, but I question his willingness to truly give up his addiction. How long is reasonable to wait for real change, and what can I do to protect my well-being while I wait?
  • When someone says they’ve been using porn for 28 years off and on, with sometimes months maybe even years in between, would it then be a choice or compulsion that they keep returning to it?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org

Resources:

All Our Tools

APSATS Website

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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]]> Tue, 21 Apr 2026 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/097-red-flags-relapse-facing-a-spouse-who-keeps-returning-to-porn-1uLdpmue Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • After years of recovery work and shared ministry, I’m facing renewed betrayal as my husband returns to secretive, addictive behaviors, becomes defensive and angry, and dismisses my need for safety. I feel destabilized, fearful there may be more hidden, and unsure how to respond. Are these serious red flags? How do I move forward when my spouse seems to abandon recovery and the marriage itself?
  • We’ve been separated for nearly a year, with my husband in recovery programs, yet repeated relapses keep extending our separation. On the surface, he appears committed, but I question his willingness to truly give up his addiction. How long is reasonable to wait for real change, and what can I do to protect my well-being while I wait?
  • When someone says they’ve been using porn for 28 years off and on, with sometimes months maybe even years in between, would it then be a choice or compulsion that they keep returning to it?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org

Resources:

All Our Tools

APSATS Website

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> 097 - Red Flags & Relapse: Facing a Spouse Who Keeps Returning to Porn Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:35 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After years of recovery work and shared ministry, I’m facing renewed betrayal as my husband returns to secretive, addictive behaviors, becomes defensive and angry, and dismisses my need for safety. I feel destabilized, fearful there may be more hidden, and unsure how to respond. Are these serious red flags? How do I move forward when my spouse seems to abandon recovery and the marriage itself? We’ve been separated for nearly a year, with my husband in recovery programs, yet repeated relapses keep extending our separation. On the surface, he appears committed, but I question his willingness to truly give up his addiction. How long is reasonable to wait for real change, and what can I do to protect my well-being while I wait? When someone says they’ve been using porn for 28 years off and on, with sometimes months maybe even years in between, would it then be a choice or compulsion that they keep returning to it? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After years of recovery work and shared ministry, I’m facing renewed betrayal as my husband returns to secretive, addictive behaviors, becomes defensive and angry, and dismisses my need for safety. I feel destabilized, fearful there may be more hidden, and unsure how to respond. Are these serious red flags? How do I move forward when my spouse seems to abandon recovery and the marriage itself? We’ve been separated for nearly a year, with my husband in recovery programs, yet repeated relapses keep extending our separation. On the surface, he appears committed, but I question his willingness to truly give up his addiction. How long is reasonable to wait for real change, and what can I do to protect my well-being while I wait? When someone says they’ve been using porn for 28 years off and on, with sometimes months maybe even years in between, would it then be a choice or compulsion that they keep returning to it? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org false full 97 fa8421f1-5898-49c8-b3eb-320746a7b11d 096 - Coping, Fantasies, and Recovery: Finding a Healthy Path Forward Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

Listener feedback: I have gone through Unraveled and am currently starting a Betrayal & Beyond group at my church. Going through Unraveled was so amazing to help me process things and have a safe group of women that I could be honest with. Thanks so much for these tools you created.

  • I still have thoughts about men that I was sexually intimate with before I got married. My husband and I are very honest about where we are and how we are doing in our healing journeys'. But I still find myself thinking about my ex's ... Is this a brain thing or spiritual tie that will always be there because of sex? What can I do to change this or work on it?
  • Years after betrayal, I’m struggling with loneliness and sexual fantasy as a way to cope in a marriage that feels emotionally empty. Though I’ve stopped the behavior, I’m torn between protecting myself from further harm and pressure to reconcile for stability. How do you let go of coping fantasies, and how do you discern a healthy path forward when my marriage feels stuck between surviving and healing?
  • I continue to relapse into old coping habits, like compulsive masturbation, fantasy, and unsafe sexual thoughts, despite counseling or accountability. How do I identify what triggers me and understand my old patterns, so I can take proactive steps to redirect these behaviors?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Unraveled

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 14 Apr 2026 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/096-coping-fantasies-and-recovery-finding-a-healthy-path-forward-tBktXDnR Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

Listener feedback: I have gone through Unraveled and am currently starting a Betrayal & Beyond group at my church. Going through Unraveled was so amazing to help me process things and have a safe group of women that I could be honest with. Thanks so much for these tools you created.

  • I still have thoughts about men that I was sexually intimate with before I got married. My husband and I are very honest about where we are and how we are doing in our healing journeys'. But I still find myself thinking about my ex's ... Is this a brain thing or spiritual tie that will always be there because of sex? What can I do to change this or work on it?
  • Years after betrayal, I’m struggling with loneliness and sexual fantasy as a way to cope in a marriage that feels emotionally empty. Though I’ve stopped the behavior, I’m torn between protecting myself from further harm and pressure to reconcile for stability. How do you let go of coping fantasies, and how do you discern a healthy path forward when my marriage feels stuck between surviving and healing?
  • I continue to relapse into old coping habits, like compulsive masturbation, fantasy, and unsafe sexual thoughts, despite counseling or accountability. How do I identify what triggers me and understand my old patterns, so I can take proactive steps to redirect these behaviors?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Unraveled

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 096 - Coping, Fantasies, and Recovery: Finding a Healthy Path Forward Pure Desire Ministries 00:16:46 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Listener feedback: I have gone through Unraveled and am currently starting a Betrayal & Beyond group at my church. Going through Unraveled was so amazing to help me process things and have a safe group of women that I could be honest with. Thanks so much for these tools you created. I still have thoughts about men that I was sexually intimate with before I got married. My husband and I are very honest about where we are and how we are doing in our healing journeys'. But I still find myself thinking about my ex's ... Is this a brain thing or spiritual tie that will always be there because of sex? What can I do to change this or work on it? Years after betrayal, I’m struggling with loneliness and sexual fantasy as a way to cope in a marriage that feels emotionally empty. Though I’ve stopped the behavior, I’m torn between protecting myself from further harm and pressure to reconcile for stability. How do you let go of coping fantasies, and how do you discern a healthy path forward when my marriage feels stuck between surviving and healing? I continue to relapse into old coping habits, like compulsive masturbation, fantasy, and unsafe sexual thoughts, despite counseling or accountability. How do I identify what triggers me and understand my old patterns, so I can take proactive steps to redirect these behaviors? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Listener feedback: I have gone through Unraveled and am currently starting a Betrayal & Beyond group at my church. Going through Unraveled was so amazing to help me process things and have a safe group of women that I could be honest with. Thanks so much for these tools you created. I still have thoughts about men that I was sexually intimate with before I got married. My husband and I are very honest about where we are and how we are doing in our healing journeys'. But I still find myself thinking about my ex's ... Is this a brain thing or spiritual tie that will always be there because of sex? What can I do to change this or work on it? Years after betrayal, I’m struggling with loneliness and sexual fantasy as a way to cope in a marriage that feels emotionally empty. Though I’ve stopped the behavior, I’m torn between protecting myself from further harm and pressure to reconcile for stability. How do you let go of coping fantasies, and how do you discern a healthy path forward when my marriage feels stuck between surviving and healing? I continue to relapse into old coping habits, like compulsive masturbation, fantasy, and unsafe sexual thoughts, despite counseling or accountability. How do I identify what triggers me and understand my old patterns, so I can take proactive steps to redirect these behaviors? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 96 f4c8a532-af60-42b4-af7b-7d818baf68a7 095 - Pregnant, Betrayed, and Uncertain: Making Wise Choices in Marriage Recovery Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I recently found out that my husband has been hiding a 7 year porn addiction which is most of our marriage. I am 5 months pregnant and we had planned for him to take 12 weeks paternity leave. Now I am really concerned that it may not be a good idea, as he is likely to fall into his old habits with so much time at home. What are your thoughts?
  • After nearly three decades of marriage shaped by pornography addiction, sexual harm, and repeated betrayals, I feel detached, distrustful, and worn down despite recent recovery efforts. I’ve found healing for myself but little hope for restored intimacy or trust in the marriage. How do I discern whether continuing this marriage leads to life, or whether letting go is the bravest next step?
  • Since discovering my husband’s long-term affair after 23 years of marriage, I’m struggling with deep insecurity despite ongoing recovery work. He showed a level of pursuit and intentionality with his affair partner that I never experienced, leaving me feeling like a second choice. How do you heal and move forward when faithfulness exists, but the wound of comparison and being “chosen last” still lingers?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 7 Apr 2026 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/095-pregnant-betrayed-and-uncertain-making-wise-choices-in-marriage-recovery-H6wLR_wy Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I recently found out that my husband has been hiding a 7 year porn addiction which is most of our marriage. I am 5 months pregnant and we had planned for him to take 12 weeks paternity leave. Now I am really concerned that it may not be a good idea, as he is likely to fall into his old habits with so much time at home. What are your thoughts?
  • After nearly three decades of marriage shaped by pornography addiction, sexual harm, and repeated betrayals, I feel detached, distrustful, and worn down despite recent recovery efforts. I’ve found healing for myself but little hope for restored intimacy or trust in the marriage. How do I discern whether continuing this marriage leads to life, or whether letting go is the bravest next step?
  • Since discovering my husband’s long-term affair after 23 years of marriage, I’m struggling with deep insecurity despite ongoing recovery work. He showed a level of pursuit and intentionality with his affair partner that I never experienced, leaving me feeling like a second choice. How do you heal and move forward when faithfulness exists, but the wound of comparison and being “chosen last” still lingers?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 095 - Pregnant, Betrayed, and Uncertain: Making Wise Choices in Marriage Recovery Pure Desire Ministries 00:20:47 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I recently found out that my husband has been hiding a 7 year porn addiction which is most of our marriage. I am 5 months pregnant and we had planned for him to take 12 weeks paternity leave. Now I am really concerned that it may not be a good idea, as he is likely to fall into his old habits with so much time at home. What are your thoughts? After nearly three decades of marriage shaped by pornography addiction, sexual harm, and repeated betrayals, I feel detached, distrustful, and worn down despite recent recovery efforts. I’ve found healing for myself but little hope for restored intimacy or trust in the marriage. How do I discern whether continuing this marriage leads to life, or whether letting go is the bravest next step? Since discovering my husband’s long-term affair after 23 years of marriage, I’m struggling with deep insecurity despite ongoing recovery work. He showed a level of pursuit and intentionality with his affair partner that I never experienced, leaving me feeling like a second choice. How do you heal and move forward when faithfulness exists, but the wound of comparison and being “chosen last” still lingers? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I recently found out that my husband has been hiding a 7 year porn addiction which is most of our marriage. I am 5 months pregnant and we had planned for him to take 12 weeks paternity leave. Now I am really concerned that it may not be a good idea, as he is likely to fall into his old habits with so much time at home. What are your thoughts? After nearly three decades of marriage shaped by pornography addiction, sexual harm, and repeated betrayals, I feel detached, distrustful, and worn down despite recent recovery efforts. I’ve found healing for myself but little hope for restored intimacy or trust in the marriage. How do I discern whether continuing this marriage leads to life, or whether letting go is the bravest next step? Since discovering my husband’s long-term affair after 23 years of marriage, I’m struggling with deep insecurity despite ongoing recovery work. He showed a level of pursuit and intentionality with his affair partner that I never experienced, leaving me feeling like a second choice. How do you heal and move forward when faithfulness exists, but the wound of comparison and being “chosen last” still lingers? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 95 e87f1021-309b-431c-ba87-22e11c5aa408 094 - Restoration or Reality? Navigating Marriage, Addiction, and Boundaries Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Despite years of counseling and recovery efforts following discovery, I’m exhausted by repeated delays in my husband’s full disclosure. I’ve set a February deadline to protect my well-being but feel uncertain about boundaries, patience, and enabling patterns. How long is it healthy to wait, and am I asking too much?
  • After 30 years of marriage to a pornography addict and many unsuccessful recovery attempts, I feel stuck needing support I can’t currently access due to finances and work constraints. I want to prepare for possible disclosure but feel alone in this process. What practical options exist when counseling and groups aren’t realistically available right now?
  • Throughout repeated cycles of recovery, relapse, separation, and now a 90-day treatment program, I feel torn between hope for our family and fear of returning to an unsafe dynamic. My husband is optimistic, but I remain uncertain and guarded. How do I move forward with clarity and strength, honoring the desire for restoration while holding firm, non-negotiable boundaries for safety and trust?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 31 Mar 2026 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/094-restoration-or-reality-navigating-marriage-addiction-and-boundaries-X6ZcydDU Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Despite years of counseling and recovery efforts following discovery, I’m exhausted by repeated delays in my husband’s full disclosure. I’ve set a February deadline to protect my well-being but feel uncertain about boundaries, patience, and enabling patterns. How long is it healthy to wait, and am I asking too much?
  • After 30 years of marriage to a pornography addict and many unsuccessful recovery attempts, I feel stuck needing support I can’t currently access due to finances and work constraints. I want to prepare for possible disclosure but feel alone in this process. What practical options exist when counseling and groups aren’t realistically available right now?
  • Throughout repeated cycles of recovery, relapse, separation, and now a 90-day treatment program, I feel torn between hope for our family and fear of returning to an unsafe dynamic. My husband is optimistic, but I remain uncertain and guarded. How do I move forward with clarity and strength, honoring the desire for restoration while holding firm, non-negotiable boundaries for safety and trust?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 094 - Restoration or Reality? Navigating Marriage, Addiction, and Boundaries Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:50 Despite years of counseling and recovery efforts following discovery, I’m exhausted by repeated delays in my husband’s full disclosure. I’ve set a February deadline to protect my well-being but feel uncertain about boundaries, patience, and enabling patterns. How long is it healthy to wait, and am I asking too much? After 30 years of marriage to a pornography addict and many unsuccessful recovery attempts, I feel stuck needing support I can’t currently access due to finances and work constraints. I want to prepare for possible disclosure but feel alone in this process. What practical options exist when counseling and groups aren’t realistically available right now? Throughout repeated cycles of recovery, relapse, separation, and now a 90-day treatment program, I feel torn between hope for our family and fear of returning to an unsafe dynamic. My husband is optimistic, but I remain uncertain and guarded. How do I move forward with clarity and strength, honoring the desire for restoration while holding firm, non-negotiable boundaries for safety and trust? Despite years of counseling and recovery efforts following discovery, I’m exhausted by repeated delays in my husband’s full disclosure. I’ve set a February deadline to protect my well-being but feel uncertain about boundaries, patience, and enabling patterns. How long is it healthy to wait, and am I asking too much? After 30 years of marriage to a pornography addict and many unsuccessful recovery attempts, I feel stuck needing support I can’t currently access due to finances and work constraints. I want to prepare for possible disclosure but feel alone in this process. What practical options exist when counseling and groups aren’t realistically available right now? Throughout repeated cycles of recovery, relapse, separation, and now a 90-day treatment program, I feel torn between hope for our family and fear of returning to an unsafe dynamic. My husband is optimistic, but I remain uncertain and guarded. How do I move forward with clarity and strength, honoring the desire for restoration while holding firm, non-negotiable boundaries for safety and trust? false full 94 b21c2c3d-7153-473c-a8eb-1807840bdf51 Integrating Psychology & Spirituality with Dr. Craig Cashwell In this insightful conversation, we sit down with a clinician and ministry leader, Dr. Craig Cashwell, who is passionate about integrating psychological wisdom with spiritual formation. 

We explore how faith and clinical care work together in the healing process and unpack the powerful statement, “Nothing that is psychologically damaging is theologically sound.” You’ll gain a clearer understanding of trauma, how it’s stored in the body, and practical ways to move toward regulation and restoration. 

We also discuss the “window of tolerance,” the realities of hyper- and hypo-arousal, and the often overlooked impact of benign neglect. This episode offers both practical tools and deep encouragement for anyone pursuing holistic healing.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> Tue, 24 Mar 2026 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/integrating-psychology-spirituality-with-dr-craig-cashwell-BQsnOErE In this insightful conversation, we sit down with a clinician and ministry leader, Dr. Craig Cashwell, who is passionate about integrating psychological wisdom with spiritual formation. 

We explore how faith and clinical care work together in the healing process and unpack the powerful statement, “Nothing that is psychologically damaging is theologically sound.” You’ll gain a clearer understanding of trauma, how it’s stored in the body, and practical ways to move toward regulation and restoration. 

We also discuss the “window of tolerance,” the realities of hyper- and hypo-arousal, and the often overlooked impact of benign neglect. This episode offers both practical tools and deep encouragement for anyone pursuing holistic healing.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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]]> Integrating Psychology & Spirituality with Dr. Craig Cashwell Pure Desire Ministries 00:38:10 In this insightful conversation, we sit down with a clinician and ministry leader, Dr. Craig Cashwell, who is passionate about integrating psychological wisdom with spiritual formation. We explore how faith and clinical care work together in the healing process and unpack the powerful statement, “Nothing that is psychologically damaging is theologically sound.” You’ll gain a clearer understanding of trauma, how it’s stored in the body, and practical ways to move toward regulation and restoration. We also discuss the “window of tolerance,” the realities of hyper- and hypo-arousal, and the often overlooked impact of benign neglect. This episode offers both practical tools and deep encouragement for anyone pursuing holistic healing. In this insightful conversation, we sit down with a clinician and ministry leader, Dr. Craig Cashwell, who is passionate about integrating psychological wisdom with spiritual formation. We explore how faith and clinical care work together in the healing process and unpack the powerful statement, “Nothing that is psychologically damaging is theologically sound.” You’ll gain a clearer understanding of trauma, how it’s stored in the body, and practical ways to move toward regulation and restoration. We also discuss the “window of tolerance,” the realities of hyper- and hypo-arousal, and the often overlooked impact of benign neglect. This episode offers both practical tools and deep encouragement for anyone pursuing holistic healing. false bonus cdb78fcd-5df8-4a0b-82e2-24eefb601921 Stories of Healing with Cyndie & Dusty In this vulnerable and transparent episode, Cyndie and Dusty share their story of betrayal, discovery, and the courageous steps that led them to seek help. 

Dusty offers the often unheard perspective of a husband navigating betrayal trauma, including the physical, emotional, and spiritual impact and how he pursued recovery. Cyndie talks about joining an Unraveled group: what was challenging, what surprised her, and how the process shaped her healing. Together, they reflect on how healing has influenced their marriage, family, and daily life. 

If you’re afraid to reach out for help, this conversation offers hope, clarity, and a reminder that restoration begins with one brave step.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Tue, 17 Mar 2026 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/stories-of-healing-with-cyndie-dusty-xlvcFABq In this vulnerable and transparent episode, Cyndie and Dusty share their story of betrayal, discovery, and the courageous steps that led them to seek help. 

Dusty offers the often unheard perspective of a husband navigating betrayal trauma, including the physical, emotional, and spiritual impact and how he pursued recovery. Cyndie talks about joining an Unraveled group: what was challenging, what surprised her, and how the process shaped her healing. Together, they reflect on how healing has influenced their marriage, family, and daily life. 

If you’re afraid to reach out for help, this conversation offers hope, clarity, and a reminder that restoration begins with one brave step.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Stories of Healing with Cyndie & Dusty Pure Desire Ministries 00:53:02 In this vulnerable and transparent episode, Cyndie and Dusty share their story of betrayal, discovery, and the courageous steps that led them to seek help. Dusty offers the often unheard perspective of a husband navigating betrayal trauma, including the physical, emotional, and spiritual impact and how he pursued recovery. Cyndie talks about joining an Unraveled group: what was challenging, what surprised her, and how the process shaped her healing. Together, they reflect on how healing has influenced their marriage, family, and daily life. If you’re afraid to reach out for help, this conversation offers hope, clarity, and a reminder that restoration begins with one brave step. In this vulnerable and transparent episode, Cyndie and Dusty share their story of betrayal, discovery, and the courageous steps that led them to seek help. Dusty offers the often unheard perspective of a husband navigating betrayal trauma, including the physical, emotional, and spiritual impact and how he pursued recovery. Cyndie talks about joining an Unraveled group: what was challenging, what surprised her, and how the process shaped her healing. Together, they reflect on how healing has influenced their marriage, family, and daily life. If you’re afraid to reach out for help, this conversation offers hope, clarity, and a reminder that restoration begins with one brave step. false bonus 94ba3578-9acd-440d-890c-e44d26867100 Let’s Talk About Divorce with Andrea Rogers In this honest and compassionate conversation, we explore one of the most difficult realities couples may face: when separation, and sometimes divorce, becomes part of the healing journey. How can someone discern when it’s time to consider divorce? What boundaries protect emotional and spiritual health along the way? 

We also discuss caring for children through the transition, navigating reactions from family and faith communities, and how churches can respond with grace instead of shame. 

You’ll hear practical guidance on counseling, support systems, and the personal work needed before entering a new relationship. If you’re facing these questions, this episode offers wisdom, hope, and reassurance that you are not alone.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Tue, 10 Mar 2026 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/lets-talk-about-divorce-with-andrea-rogers-nHTK2FVd In this honest and compassionate conversation, we explore one of the most difficult realities couples may face: when separation, and sometimes divorce, becomes part of the healing journey. How can someone discern when it’s time to consider divorce? What boundaries protect emotional and spiritual health along the way? 

We also discuss caring for children through the transition, navigating reactions from family and faith communities, and how churches can respond with grace instead of shame. 

You’ll hear practical guidance on counseling, support systems, and the personal work needed before entering a new relationship. If you’re facing these questions, this episode offers wisdom, hope, and reassurance that you are not alone.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Let’s Talk About Divorce with Andrea Rogers Pure Desire Ministries 01:01:06 In this honest and compassionate conversation, we explore one of the most difficult realities couples may face: when separation, and sometimes divorce, becomes part of the healing journey. How can someone discern when it’s time to consider divorce? What boundaries protect emotional and spiritual health along the way? We also discuss caring for children through the transition, navigating reactions from family and faith communities, and how churches can respond with grace instead of shame. You’ll hear practical guidance on counseling, support systems, and the personal work needed before entering a new relationship. If you’re facing these questions, this episode offers wisdom, hope, and reassurance that you are not alone. In this honest and compassionate conversation, we explore one of the most difficult realities couples may face: when separation, and sometimes divorce, becomes part of the healing journey. How can someone discern when it’s time to consider divorce? What boundaries protect emotional and spiritual health along the way? We also discuss caring for children through the transition, navigating reactions from family and faith communities, and how churches can respond with grace instead of shame. You’ll hear practical guidance on counseling, support systems, and the personal work needed before entering a new relationship. If you’re facing these questions, this episode offers wisdom, hope, and reassurance that you are not alone. false bonus 17fe6b73-2012-488d-b4e8-726531c4ceab 093 - Helping Your Partner Heal From the Impact of Your Addiction Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m terrified that full honesty will cost me everything—my marriage, my family, my reputation. I want healing, but I’m afraid the truth might do more damage than good. Do I really need to tell my partner everything—and what if it destroys my marriage?
  • I thought quitting the behavior and apologizing would be the turning point, but it hasn’t been. I feel frustrated and helpless (sometimes angry) watching my partner still hurt—and I don’t understand why my efforts don’t seem to be enough. Why doesn’t my partner’s pain go away once I stop or say I’m sorry?
  • Why do I feel like I will be lost without this coping mechanism—and what replaces it? This has been how I’ve numbed stress, loneliness, and failure for years, even decades. If I let it go, I’m afraid of what I’ll feel—and I don’t know how to live differently yet. Will life feel boring?

Listen Now

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> Tue, 3 Mar 2026 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/093-helping-your-partner-heal-from-the-impact-of-your-addiction-YoKIy6NL Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m terrified that full honesty will cost me everything—my marriage, my family, my reputation. I want healing, but I’m afraid the truth might do more damage than good. Do I really need to tell my partner everything—and what if it destroys my marriage?
  • I thought quitting the behavior and apologizing would be the turning point, but it hasn’t been. I feel frustrated and helpless (sometimes angry) watching my partner still hurt—and I don’t understand why my efforts don’t seem to be enough. Why doesn’t my partner’s pain go away once I stop or say I’m sorry?
  • Why do I feel like I will be lost without this coping mechanism—and what replaces it? This has been how I’ve numbed stress, loneliness, and failure for years, even decades. If I let it go, I’m afraid of what I’ll feel—and I don’t know how to live differently yet. Will life feel boring?

Listen Now

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 093 - Helping Your Partner Heal From the Impact of Your Addiction Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:50 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’m terrified that full honesty will cost me everything—my marriage, my family, my reputation. I want healing, but I’m afraid the truth might do more damage than good. Do I really need to tell my partner everything—and what if it destroys my marriage? I thought quitting the behavior and apologizing would be the turning point, but it hasn’t been. I feel frustrated and helpless (sometimes angry) watching my partner still hurt—and I don’t understand why my efforts don’t seem to be enough. Why doesn’t my partner’s pain go away once I stop or say I’m sorry? Why do I feel like I will be lost without this coping mechanism—and what replaces it? This has been how I’ve numbed stress, loneliness, and failure for years, even decades. If I let it go, I’m afraid of what I’ll feel—and I don’t know how to live differently yet. Will life feel boring? Listen Now If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’m terrified that full honesty will cost me everything—my marriage, my family, my reputation. I want healing, but I’m afraid the truth might do more damage than good. Do I really need to tell my partner everything—and what if it destroys my marriage? I thought quitting the behavior and apologizing would be the turning point, but it hasn’t been. I feel frustrated and helpless (sometimes angry) watching my partner still hurt—and I don’t understand why my efforts don’t seem to be enough. Why doesn’t my partner’s pain go away once I stop or say I’m sorry? Why do I feel like I will be lost without this coping mechanism—and what replaces it? This has been how I’ve numbed stress, loneliness, and failure for years, even decades. If I let it go, I’m afraid of what I’ll feel—and I don’t know how to live differently yet. Will life feel boring? Listen Now If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 93 ff597806-00d6-48cc-9eed-7ed5fbb6ba2b 092 - Rebuilding Intimacy After Betrayal: Orgasm, Erection, and Trust Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- We are 5 years post betrayal and our intimacy has gotten better and deeper. Though there are still barriers around me achieving orgasm. It took us 2 years for me to orgasm. It’s very separated right now, either I am orgasming or he is. We want to do it at the same time. How do we do that? He has suggested that I rub myself during sex. Is this okay or considered masturbation? It makes me uncomfortable, but I also want to achieve orgasm at the same time.

- Is it common for men to have trouble keeping an erection and achieving orgasm during sex? I’ve never struggled with achieving orgasm but my husband has so much trouble. We’ve linked it to his porn and masturbation history, but he thinks it’s purely physical. I think it’s mostly mental. What should we do?

- My husband had sex with prostitutes. What does this mean? I feel like this is so different from other ways of sexually acting out. It’s not really the same as an affair. Or is it?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 24 Feb 2026 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/092-rebuilding-intimacy-after-betrayal-orgasm-erection-and-trust-CMKahLz9 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- We are 5 years post betrayal and our intimacy has gotten better and deeper. Though there are still barriers around me achieving orgasm. It took us 2 years for me to orgasm. It’s very separated right now, either I am orgasming or he is. We want to do it at the same time. How do we do that? He has suggested that I rub myself during sex. Is this okay or considered masturbation? It makes me uncomfortable, but I also want to achieve orgasm at the same time.

- Is it common for men to have trouble keeping an erection and achieving orgasm during sex? I’ve never struggled with achieving orgasm but my husband has so much trouble. We’ve linked it to his porn and masturbation history, but he thinks it’s purely physical. I think it’s mostly mental. What should we do?

- My husband had sex with prostitutes. What does this mean? I feel like this is so different from other ways of sexually acting out. It’s not really the same as an affair. Or is it?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> 092 - Rebuilding Intimacy After Betrayal: Orgasm, Erection, and Trust Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:26 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: We are 5 years post betrayal and our intimacy has gotten better and deeper. Though there are still barriers around me achieving orgasm. It took us 2 years for me to orgasm. It’s very separated right now, either I am orgasming or he is. We want to do it at the same time. How do we do that? He has suggested that I rub myself during sex. Is this okay or considered masturbation? It makes me uncomfortable, but I also want to achieve orgasm at the same time. Is it common for men to have trouble keeping an erection and achieving orgasm during sex? I’ve never struggled with achieving orgasm but my husband has so much trouble. We’ve linked it to his porn and masturbation history, but he thinks it’s purely physical. I think it’s mostly mental. What should we do? My husband had sex with prostitutes. What does this mean? I feel like this is so different from other ways of sexually acting out. It’s not really the same as an affair. Or is it? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: We are 5 years post betrayal and our intimacy has gotten better and deeper. Though there are still barriers around me achieving orgasm. It took us 2 years for me to orgasm. It’s very separated right now, either I am orgasming or he is. We want to do it at the same time. How do we do that? He has suggested that I rub myself during sex. Is this okay or considered masturbation? It makes me uncomfortable, but I also want to achieve orgasm at the same time. Is it common for men to have trouble keeping an erection and achieving orgasm during sex? I’ve never struggled with achieving orgasm but my husband has so much trouble. We’ve linked it to his porn and masturbation history, but he thinks it’s purely physical. I think it’s mostly mental. What should we do? My husband had sex with prostitutes. What does this mean? I feel like this is so different from other ways of sexually acting out. It’s not really the same as an affair. Or is it? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 92 d8042cf2-8687-467e-a993-94969fedda9e 091 - Navigating Trauma and Trust After Infidelity Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • After 37 years of marriage marked by sexual betrayal and addiction, my husband left for another woman, leaving deep trauma and guilt in his wake. I wrestle with regret, self-blame, and grief after years of prayer and perseverance. How do I heal from this betrayal, forgive him, and release the past so I can build a sane, hopeful future?
  • More than four years after discovering decades of hidden infidelity, I’m still living with trauma, unanswered questions, and confusion about what true recovery even looks like. Therapy helped, but accountability, boundaries, and honest dialogue were never addressed. Am I wrong to keep seeking clarity and healing, or is moving forward impossible without real transparency and shared responsibility?
  • I’m lost and devastated, struggling to trust my husband’s recovery, transparency, and willingness to include me rather than keep me at a distance. Unless I push, he shares nothing, leaving me questioning his honesty and commitment. How much should I pursue involvement in his recovery, and how can I rebuild any level of trust without losing myself in the process?

Bonus Question:

Dear Ashley and Heather: So much of your counsel includes suggesting to “find individual therapists.” But not all therapists are created equal. Can you please help your listeners- including me - get a sanity check on what effective “sex addiction therapy” should look like: what are the key components and key indicators that recovery is happening for the addict spouse? I’m asking because after three years of my husband seeing a therapist known for his specialty in sex addiction, my husband has made minimal to no real progress. My husband has shown an exceptional level of resistance to doing the hard work, but I only just recently learned about CSAT certification. Could having a therapist that follows a more loose style of "what are you coming in with today" be a factor?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 17 Feb 2026 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/091-navigating-trauma-and-trust-after-infidelity-R5J_R0Bl Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • After 37 years of marriage marked by sexual betrayal and addiction, my husband left for another woman, leaving deep trauma and guilt in his wake. I wrestle with regret, self-blame, and grief after years of prayer and perseverance. How do I heal from this betrayal, forgive him, and release the past so I can build a sane, hopeful future?
  • More than four years after discovering decades of hidden infidelity, I’m still living with trauma, unanswered questions, and confusion about what true recovery even looks like. Therapy helped, but accountability, boundaries, and honest dialogue were never addressed. Am I wrong to keep seeking clarity and healing, or is moving forward impossible without real transparency and shared responsibility?
  • I’m lost and devastated, struggling to trust my husband’s recovery, transparency, and willingness to include me rather than keep me at a distance. Unless I push, he shares nothing, leaving me questioning his honesty and commitment. How much should I pursue involvement in his recovery, and how can I rebuild any level of trust without losing myself in the process?

Bonus Question:

Dear Ashley and Heather: So much of your counsel includes suggesting to “find individual therapists.” But not all therapists are created equal. Can you please help your listeners- including me - get a sanity check on what effective “sex addiction therapy” should look like: what are the key components and key indicators that recovery is happening for the addict spouse? I’m asking because after three years of my husband seeing a therapist known for his specialty in sex addiction, my husband has made minimal to no real progress. My husband has shown an exceptional level of resistance to doing the hard work, but I only just recently learned about CSAT certification. Could having a therapist that follows a more loose style of "what are you coming in with today" be a factor?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 091 - Navigating Trauma and Trust After Infidelity Pure Desire Ministries 00:23:27 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After 37 years of marriage marked by sexual betrayal and addiction, my husband left for another woman, leaving deep trauma and guilt in his wake. I wrestle with regret, self-blame, and grief after years of prayer and perseverance. How do I heal from this betrayal, forgive him, and release the past so I can build a sane, hopeful future? More than four years after discovering decades of hidden infidelity, I’m still living with trauma, unanswered questions, and confusion about what true recovery even looks like. Therapy helped, but accountability, boundaries, and honest dialogue were never addressed. Am I wrong to keep seeking clarity and healing, or is moving forward impossible without real transparency and shared responsibility? I’m lost and devastated, struggling to trust my husband’s recovery, transparency, and willingness to include me rather than keep me at a distance. Unless I push, he shares nothing, leaving me questioning his honesty and commitment. How much should I pursue involvement in his recovery, and how can I rebuild any level of trust without losing myself in the process? Bonus Question: Dear Ashley and Heather: So much of your counsel includes suggesting to “find individual therapists.” But not all therapists are created equal. Can you please help your listeners- including me - get a sanity check on what effective “sex addiction therapy” should look like: what are the key components and key indicators that recovery is happening for the addict spouse? I’m asking because after three years of my husband seeing a therapist known for his specialty in sex addiction, my husband has made minimal to no real progress. My husband has shown an exceptional level of resistance to doing the hard work, but I only just recently learned about CSAT certification. Could having a therapist that follows a more loose style of "what are you coming in with today" be a factor? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After 37 years of marriage marked by sexual betrayal and addiction, my husband left for another woman, leaving deep trauma and guilt in his wake. I wrestle with regret, self-blame, and grief after years of prayer and perseverance. How do I heal from this betrayal, forgive him, and release the past so I can build a sane, hopeful future? More than four years after discovering decades of hidden infidelity, I’m still living with trauma, unanswered questions, and confusion about what true recovery even looks like. Therapy helped, but accountability, boundaries, and honest dialogue were never addressed. Am I wrong to keep seeking clarity and healing, or is moving forward impossible without real transparency and shared responsibility? I’m lost and devastated, struggling to trust my husband’s recovery, transparency, and willingness to include me rather than keep me at a distance. Unless I push, he shares nothing, leaving me questioning his honesty and commitment. How much should I pursue involvement in his recovery, and how can I rebuild any level of trust without losing myself in the process? Bonus Question: Dear Ashley and Heather: So much of your counsel includes suggesting to “find individual therapists.” But not all therapists are created equal. Can you please help your listeners- including me - get a sanity check on what effective “sex addiction therapy” should look like: what are the key components and key indicators that recovery is happening for the addict spouse? I’m asking because after three years of my husband seeing a therapist known for his specialty in sex addiction, my husband has made minimal to no real progress. My husband has shown an exceptional level of resistance to doing the hard work, but I only just recently learned about CSAT certification. Could having a therapist that follows a more loose style of "what are you coming in with today" be a factor? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 91 8753b1a0-9900-439e-b781-7eb8af0e9c9c 090 - Why Can’t I Stop? Understanding the Inner Battle with Porn & Affairs Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Why do I keep going back to porn or affairs even when I genuinely want to stop? I’ve prayed, made promises, installed accountability, and genuinely meant it—yet somehow I still find myself back here. Each relapse leaves me more confused and ashamed, wondering why my desire to change doesn’t seem to be enough.
  • Is this really an addiction—or am I just a bad person? Part of me wants an explanation, and part of me fears it doesn’t exist. I worry that if this isn’t an addiction, then the problem is simply who I am—and that maybe I’m beyond real change.
  • I specifically struggle with having a crush on my husband’s best friend. I hate that my mind goes places I don’t want it to, even with people I care about and would never want to hurt. I feel trapped between my thoughts, my shame, and my fear of what this says about my heart. How do I stop objectifying men and start seeing them as people again?

Listen Now

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> Tue, 10 Feb 2026 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/090-why-cant-i-stop-understanding-the-inner-battle-with-porn-affairs-1MnLrpz4 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Why do I keep going back to porn or affairs even when I genuinely want to stop? I’ve prayed, made promises, installed accountability, and genuinely meant it—yet somehow I still find myself back here. Each relapse leaves me more confused and ashamed, wondering why my desire to change doesn’t seem to be enough.
  • Is this really an addiction—or am I just a bad person? Part of me wants an explanation, and part of me fears it doesn’t exist. I worry that if this isn’t an addiction, then the problem is simply who I am—and that maybe I’m beyond real change.
  • I specifically struggle with having a crush on my husband’s best friend. I hate that my mind goes places I don’t want it to, even with people I care about and would never want to hurt. I feel trapped between my thoughts, my shame, and my fear of what this says about my heart. How do I stop objectifying men and start seeing them as people again?

Listen Now

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> 090 - Why Can’t I Stop? Understanding the Inner Battle with Porn & Affairs Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:20 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Why do I keep going back to porn or affairs even when I genuinely want to stop? I’ve prayed, made promises, installed accountability, and genuinely meant it—yet somehow I still find myself back here. Each relapse leaves me more confused and ashamed, wondering why my desire to change doesn’t seem to be enough. Is this really an addiction—or am I just a bad person? Part of me wants an explanation, and part of me fears it doesn’t exist. I worry that if this isn’t an addiction, then the problem is simply who I am—and that maybe I’m beyond real change. I specifically struggle with having a crush on my husband’s best friend. I hate that my mind goes places I don’t want it to, even with people I care about and would never want to hurt. I feel trapped between my thoughts, my shame, and my fear of what this says about my heart. How do I stop objectifying men and start seeing them as people again? Listen Now If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Why do I keep going back to porn or affairs even when I genuinely want to stop? I’ve prayed, made promises, installed accountability, and genuinely meant it—yet somehow I still find myself back here. Each relapse leaves me more confused and ashamed, wondering why my desire to change doesn’t seem to be enough. Is this really an addiction—or am I just a bad person? Part of me wants an explanation, and part of me fears it doesn’t exist. I worry that if this isn’t an addiction, then the problem is simply who I am—and that maybe I’m beyond real change. I specifically struggle with having a crush on my husband’s best friend. I hate that my mind goes places I don’t want it to, even with people I care about and would never want to hurt. I feel trapped between my thoughts, my shame, and my fear of what this says about my heart. How do I stop objectifying men and start seeing them as people again? Listen Now If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 90 6eac5288-ad86-4352-a7b9-920c472917a3 089 - Coexistence, Safety, and Healing After Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Nearly two years after betrayal and decades of marriage, I’m trying to coexist with a husband in recovery who seeks help but struggles to empathize with my pain. I feel unseen, fearful of being on my own, and unsure whether healing together is possible. Is coexistence enough, or am I denying what my heart truly needs?
  • I am working on my safety action plan and I feel that I’ve been unsafe for so long, I don’t know where to start establishing safety. How can I reconnect with that feeling?
  • I’m grateful for the support I’ve found, yet I’m still deeply triggered by anxiety and mistrust, even as I see my husband growing in recovery and faith. Nightmares and small moments spiral into painful fears I can’t seem to stop. Will these triggers ever ease, and how do I regain a sense of safety and peace again?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

The Betrayal Bind

Out of the Doghouse

Worthy of Her Trust

Help Her Heal

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 3 Feb 2026 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/089-living-in-the-in-between-coexistence-safety-and-healing-after-betrayal-dz7xXCtx Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Nearly two years after betrayal and decades of marriage, I’m trying to coexist with a husband in recovery who seeks help but struggles to empathize with my pain. I feel unseen, fearful of being on my own, and unsure whether healing together is possible. Is coexistence enough, or am I denying what my heart truly needs?
  • I am working on my safety action plan and I feel that I’ve been unsafe for so long, I don’t know where to start establishing safety. How can I reconnect with that feeling?
  • I’m grateful for the support I’ve found, yet I’m still deeply triggered by anxiety and mistrust, even as I see my husband growing in recovery and faith. Nightmares and small moments spiral into painful fears I can’t seem to stop. Will these triggers ever ease, and how do I regain a sense of safety and peace again?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

The Betrayal Bind

Out of the Doghouse

Worthy of Her Trust

Help Her Heal

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 089 - Coexistence, Safety, and Healing After Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:53 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Nearly two years after betrayal and decades of marriage, I’m trying to coexist with a husband in recovery who seeks help but struggles to empathize with my pain. I feel unseen, fearful of being on my own, and unsure whether healing together is possible. Is coexistence enough, or am I denying what my heart truly needs? I am working on my safety action plan and I feel that I’ve been unsafe for so long, I don’t know where to start establishing safety. How can I reconnect with that feeling? I’m grateful for the support I’ve found, yet I’m still deeply triggered by anxiety and mistrust, even as I see my husband growing in recovery and faith. Nightmares and small moments spiral into painful fears I can’t seem to stop. Will these triggers ever ease, and how do I regain a sense of safety and peace again? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Nearly two years after betrayal and decades of marriage, I’m trying to coexist with a husband in recovery who seeks help but struggles to empathize with my pain. I feel unseen, fearful of being on my own, and unsure whether healing together is possible. Is coexistence enough, or am I denying what my heart truly needs? I am working on my safety action plan and I feel that I’ve been unsafe for so long, I don’t know where to start establishing safety. How can I reconnect with that feeling? I’m grateful for the support I’ve found, yet I’m still deeply triggered by anxiety and mistrust, even as I see my husband growing in recovery and faith. Nightmares and small moments spiral into painful fears I can’t seem to stop. Will these triggers ever ease, and how do I regain a sense of safety and peace again? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 89 ae7249cb-88d0-4740-a121-3d3e20f98822 088 - Alone in Healing: Navigating Betrayal and Recovery Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’ve been married twenty years and have lived with the quiet pain of my husband’s porn use, avoidance, and lack of accountability. I’ve pursued healing alone while he remains passive, leaving me stuck between guilt, anger, and resentment—especially amid his health struggles. How do I break this cycle and decide what’s truly healthy for me and our marriage?
  • Fifteen months after discovery and nearly two decades of marriage, I’m deeply wounded by my husband’s sexual betrayal. We went through two disclosures and two polygraphs before everything was finally revealed (recording us during sex and sharing nude pics of me in chat rooms, among other things). Though he’s now in strong recovery, I’ve felt alone in my healing until hearing a similar story on a recent Unfiltered episode. Is this pattern common in sexual addiction, and how do betrayed partners find real support and hope?
  • I started a B&B group 5 months before my husband—he just started Seven Pillars. I definitely want full-disclosure, but the weight of knowing more pain is coming and not knowing the full truth yet has been difficult to manage. What advice do you have to prepare for the full-disclosure process? What suggestions do you have for post-disclosure self-care?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Honesty Vs. Disclosure - PD Podcast 

'Honestly Speaking' Blog

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 27 Jan 2026 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/088-alone-in-healing-navigating-betrayal-and-recovery-sdYko_oG Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’ve been married twenty years and have lived with the quiet pain of my husband’s porn use, avoidance, and lack of accountability. I’ve pursued healing alone while he remains passive, leaving me stuck between guilt, anger, and resentment—especially amid his health struggles. How do I break this cycle and decide what’s truly healthy for me and our marriage?
  • Fifteen months after discovery and nearly two decades of marriage, I’m deeply wounded by my husband’s sexual betrayal. We went through two disclosures and two polygraphs before everything was finally revealed (recording us during sex and sharing nude pics of me in chat rooms, among other things). Though he’s now in strong recovery, I’ve felt alone in my healing until hearing a similar story on a recent Unfiltered episode. Is this pattern common in sexual addiction, and how do betrayed partners find real support and hope?
  • I started a B&B group 5 months before my husband—he just started Seven Pillars. I definitely want full-disclosure, but the weight of knowing more pain is coming and not knowing the full truth yet has been difficult to manage. What advice do you have to prepare for the full-disclosure process? What suggestions do you have for post-disclosure self-care?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Honesty Vs. Disclosure - PD Podcast 

'Honestly Speaking' Blog

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 088 - Alone in Healing: Navigating Betrayal and Recovery Pure Desire Ministries 00:16:01 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’ve been married twenty years and have lived with the quiet pain of my husband’s porn use, avoidance, and lack of accountability. I’ve pursued healing alone while he remains passive, leaving me stuck between guilt, anger, and resentment—especially amid his health struggles. How do I break this cycle and decide what’s truly healthy for me and our marriage? Fifteen months after discovery and nearly two decades of marriage, I’m deeply wounded by my husband’s sexual betrayal. We went through two disclosures and two polygraphs before everything was finally revealed (recording us during sex and sharing nude pics of me in chat rooms, among other things). Though he’s now in strong recovery, I’ve felt alone in my healing until hearing a similar story on a recent Unfiltered episode. Is this pattern common in sexual addiction, and how do betrayed partners find real support and hope? I started a B&B group 5 months before my husband—he just started Seven Pillars. I definitely want full-disclosure, but the weight of knowing more pain is coming and not knowing the full truth yet has been difficult to manage. What advice do you have to prepare for the full-disclosure process? What suggestions do you have for post-disclosure self-care? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’ve been married twenty years and have lived with the quiet pain of my husband’s porn use, avoidance, and lack of accountability. I’ve pursued healing alone while he remains passive, leaving me stuck between guilt, anger, and resentment—especially amid his health struggles. How do I break this cycle and decide what’s truly healthy for me and our marriage? Fifteen months after discovery and nearly two decades of marriage, I’m deeply wounded by my husband’s sexual betrayal. We went through two disclosures and two polygraphs before everything was finally revealed (recording us during sex and sharing nude pics of me in chat rooms, among other things). Though he’s now in strong recovery, I’ve felt alone in my healing until hearing a similar story on a recent Unfiltered episode. Is this pattern common in sexual addiction, and how do betrayed partners find real support and hope? I started a B&B group 5 months before my husband—he just started Seven Pillars. I definitely want full-disclosure, but the weight of knowing more pain is coming and not knowing the full truth yet has been difficult to manage. What advice do you have to prepare for the full-disclosure process? What suggestions do you have for post-disclosure self-care? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 88 021e15e3-c5f0-4271-b66f-61a0979ddbaf 087 - Rebuilding Trust when Honesty Seems Unsure Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us?
  • I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others?
  • I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 20 Jan 2026 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/087-rebuilding-trust-when-honesty-seems-unsure-96HxppMU Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us?
  • I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others?
  • I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 087 - Rebuilding Trust when Honesty Seems Unsure Pure Desire Ministries 00:20:30 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us? I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others? I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us? I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others? I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 87 cc7fbaa4-90ea-4ba1-a61c-bad09248f735 086 - Navigating Beyond Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us?
  • I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others?
  • I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 13 Jan 2026 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/086-navigating-beyond-betrayal-sQpSq5oO Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us?
  • I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others?
  • I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 086 - Navigating Beyond Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:21 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us? I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others? I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!a Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without activating those fears. How can we experiment in ways that feel safe for both of us? I’ve found guidance and healing through your podcast, counseling, and trusted couples while navigating my husband’s secret pornography use throughout our marriage. We want to address shame and growth without oversharing. How can we share what we’ve learned about marriage and God’s healing power in ways that honor our privacy yet support others? I want to support my spouse through their sexual addiction without overstepping or causing shame. How do I provide healthy accountability and encouragement? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!a false full 86 a4b8948e-5c59-4031-b0cc-eb6cc9a864c5 085 - Corruption, Affairs, and Crossing The Line Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • One of my group members is struggling after discovering his wife’s year-long affair, which began after he pressured her to watch pornography with him and she became addicted herself. They are seeing a counselor locally. What resources would you recommend to help them navigate betrayal, addiction, and rebuilding their marriage?
  • I have a hard time stopping things when they begin getting too sexual. I want to date and eventually get married, but I have a hard time trusting myself and setting reasonable boundaries without scaring off every guy. Do men really want a woman who won’t be sexual?
  • I worry my past sexual behaviors or compulsions will prevent me from experiencing healthy intimacy. How can I reconcile my history while moving forward in sexual wholeness?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

PD Podcast w/ Cyndie & Dusty

Out of The Dog House Book

All Our Tools

Daring Ventures (Dr. Jake Porter)

APSATS Coaches List

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 6 Jan 2026 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/085-corruption-affairs-and-crossing-the-line-3j5oE27q Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • One of my group members is struggling after discovering his wife’s year-long affair, which began after he pressured her to watch pornography with him and she became addicted herself. They are seeing a counselor locally. What resources would you recommend to help them navigate betrayal, addiction, and rebuilding their marriage?
  • I have a hard time stopping things when they begin getting too sexual. I want to date and eventually get married, but I have a hard time trusting myself and setting reasonable boundaries without scaring off every guy. Do men really want a woman who won’t be sexual?
  • I worry my past sexual behaviors or compulsions will prevent me from experiencing healthy intimacy. How can I reconcile my history while moving forward in sexual wholeness?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

PD Podcast w/ Cyndie & Dusty

Out of The Dog House Book

All Our Tools

Daring Ventures (Dr. Jake Porter)

APSATS Coaches List

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> 085 - Corruption, Affairs, and Crossing The Line Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:51 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - One of my group members is struggling after discovering his wife’s year-long affair, which began after he pressured her to watch pornography with him and she became addicted herself. They are seeing a counselor locally. What resources would you recommend to help them navigate betrayal, addiction, and rebuilding their marriage? - I have a hard time stopping things when they begin getting too sexual. I want to date and eventually get married, but I have a hard time trusting myself and setting reasonable boundaries without scaring off every guy. Do men really want a woman who won’t be sexual? - I worry my past sexual behaviors or compulsions will prevent me from experiencing healthy intimacy. How can I reconcile my history while moving forward in sexual wholeness? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - One of my group members is struggling after discovering his wife’s year-long affair, which began after he pressured her to watch pornography with him and she became addicted herself. They are seeing a counselor locally. What resources would you recommend to help them navigate betrayal, addiction, and rebuilding their marriage? - I have a hard time stopping things when they begin getting too sexual. I want to date and eventually get married, but I have a hard time trusting myself and setting reasonable boundaries without scaring off every guy. Do men really want a woman who won’t be sexual? - I worry my past sexual behaviors or compulsions will prevent me from experiencing healthy intimacy. How can I reconcile my history while moving forward in sexual wholeness? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 85 8c0e8e8e-6534-4729-8c9e-b648473ed4af 084 - Crushed, Conflicted, and Craving: Healing After Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Since discovery, I’ve worked hard to heal my sexuality and past trauma, as well as the impact of my husband’s addiction. I fight against resentment while still longing for emotional closeness with him, which often leads to wanting sexual intimacy too. I’m unsure if these desires are healthy or normal. Is this normal?
  • After 37 years of marriage, I discovered my husband had an emotional affair for two months. Though he’s remorseful and loving me more than ever, I’m devastated, struggling to trust, and questioning God. I want to heal and move forward—how can I restore peace and trust in my heart?
  • I am looking for some resources or guidance on navigating betrayal trauma and having a new baby. The feeling of baby blues on top of trauma from a recent disclosure of sexual addiction from my husband is overwhelming.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> Tue, 30 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/084-crushed-conflicted-and-craving-healing-after-betrayal-zqG2de1T Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Since discovery, I’ve worked hard to heal my sexuality and past trauma, as well as the impact of my husband’s addiction. I fight against resentment while still longing for emotional closeness with him, which often leads to wanting sexual intimacy too. I’m unsure if these desires are healthy or normal. Is this normal?
  • After 37 years of marriage, I discovered my husband had an emotional affair for two months. Though he’s remorseful and loving me more than ever, I’m devastated, struggling to trust, and questioning God. I want to heal and move forward—how can I restore peace and trust in my heart?
  • I am looking for some resources or guidance on navigating betrayal trauma and having a new baby. The feeling of baby blues on top of trauma from a recent disclosure of sexual addiction from my husband is overwhelming.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> 084 - Crushed, Conflicted, and Craving: Healing After Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:17 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - Since discovery, I’ve worked hard to heal my sexuality and past trauma, as well as the impact of my husband’s addiction. I fight against resentment while still longing for emotional closeness with him, which often leads to wanting sexual intimacy too. I’m unsure if these desires are healthy or normal. Is this normal? - After 37 years of marriage, I discovered my husband had an emotional affair for two months. Though he’s remorseful and loving me more than ever, I’m devastated, struggling to trust, and questioning God. I want to heal and move forward—how can I restore peace and trust in my heart? - I am looking for some resources or guidance on navigating betrayal trauma and having a new baby. The feeling of baby blues on top of trauma from a recent disclosure of sexual addiction from my husband is overwhelming. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - Since discovery, I’ve worked hard to heal my sexuality and past trauma, as well as the impact of my husband’s addiction. I fight against resentment while still longing for emotional closeness with him, which often leads to wanting sexual intimacy too. I’m unsure if these desires are healthy or normal. Is this normal? - After 37 years of marriage, I discovered my husband had an emotional affair for two months. Though he’s remorseful and loving me more than ever, I’m devastated, struggling to trust, and questioning God. I want to heal and move forward—how can I restore peace and trust in my heart? - I am looking for some resources or guidance on navigating betrayal trauma and having a new baby. The feeling of baby blues on top of trauma from a recent disclosure of sexual addiction from my husband is overwhelming. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 84 50eacf9a-4551-4378-b050-3aece8fa785c 083 - When Divorce Might be the Healthiest Option Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband and I are 3.5 years post-discovery, yet he still avoids taking ownership for issues tied to his long-term sexual addiction unless pressured. As Christians, I feel truth-telling should be shared, not one-sided, and I’m troubled this wasn’t addressed earlier in our counseling. How can I move forward?

- After 27 years of marriage, I discovered my husband’s long-term emotional and physical infidelities, causing severe trauma. Therapy didn’t address full disclosure, boundaries, or cessation of contact with his affair partners. He avoids discussing the past and blames me for focusing on it. How can I truly move forward and heal?

- After 30 years of marriage, I’ve discovered my husband secretly recorded us having sex despite my boundaries, causing deep feelings of violation and exploitation. He shows little affection and hasn’t sought help, while I’m in counseling and a recovery group. Is it reasonable for me to feel done with the marriage?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

Resources:

Is It Me?

If He's So Great Why Do I Feel So Bad?

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

Surviving an Unwanted Divorce

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 23 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/083-when-divorce-might-be-the-healthiest-option-zfE08kK_ Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband and I are 3.5 years post-discovery, yet he still avoids taking ownership for issues tied to his long-term sexual addiction unless pressured. As Christians, I feel truth-telling should be shared, not one-sided, and I’m troubled this wasn’t addressed earlier in our counseling. How can I move forward?

- After 27 years of marriage, I discovered my husband’s long-term emotional and physical infidelities, causing severe trauma. Therapy didn’t address full disclosure, boundaries, or cessation of contact with his affair partners. He avoids discussing the past and blames me for focusing on it. How can I truly move forward and heal?

- After 30 years of marriage, I’ve discovered my husband secretly recorded us having sex despite my boundaries, causing deep feelings of violation and exploitation. He shows little affection and hasn’t sought help, while I’m in counseling and a recovery group. Is it reasonable for me to feel done with the marriage?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

Resources:

Is It Me?

If He's So Great Why Do I Feel So Bad?

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

Surviving an Unwanted Divorce

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 083 - When Divorce Might be the Healthiest Option Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:57 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband and I are 3.5 years post-discovery, yet he still avoids taking ownership for issues tied to his long-term sexual addiction unless pressured. As Christians, I feel truth-telling should be shared, not one-sided, and I’m troubled this wasn’t addressed earlier in our counseling. How can I move forward? - After 27 years of marriage, I discovered my husband’s long-term emotional and physical infidelities, causing severe trauma. Therapy didn’t address full disclosure, boundaries, or cessation of contact with his affair partners. He avoids discussing the past and blames me for focusing on it. How can I truly move forward and heal? - After 30 years of marriage, I’ve discovered my husband secretly recorded us having sex despite my boundaries, causing deep feelings of violation and exploitation. He shows little affection and hasn’t sought help, while I’m in counseling and a recovery group. Is it reasonable for me to feel done with the marriage? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband and I are 3.5 years post-discovery, yet he still avoids taking ownership for issues tied to his long-term sexual addiction unless pressured. As Christians, I feel truth-telling should be shared, not one-sided, and I’m troubled this wasn’t addressed earlier in our counseling. How can I move forward? - After 27 years of marriage, I discovered my husband’s long-term emotional and physical infidelities, causing severe trauma. Therapy didn’t address full disclosure, boundaries, or cessation of contact with his affair partners. He avoids discussing the past and blames me for focusing on it. How can I truly move forward and heal? - After 30 years of marriage, I’ve discovered my husband secretly recorded us having sex despite my boundaries, causing deep feelings of violation and exploitation. He shows little affection and hasn’t sought help, while I’m in counseling and a recovery group. Is it reasonable for me to feel done with the marriage? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos false full 83 af820470-39ed-4e5f-aec5-1903abd0d1dc 082 - Desire, Dreams, and Waiting Well Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- What books would you recommend reading to help me understand sex and orgasm?

- After 18 years of marriage and repeated betrayals by my husband, I’ve been divorced for two years and abstinent, yet I struggle with a strong sexual desire I’m unaccustomed to outside marriage. How can I navigate these desires faithfully while waiting for a godly partner?

- I keep having dreams about sex and cheating on my husband. I wake up feeling guilty. Is this a reflection of my character, and is there a way to make the dreams stop?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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Follow us on X (Twitter)


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]]> Tue, 16 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/082-desire-dreams-and-ending-well-vBheJw1L Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- What books would you recommend reading to help me understand sex and orgasm?

- After 18 years of marriage and repeated betrayals by my husband, I’ve been divorced for two years and abstinent, yet I struggle with a strong sexual desire I’m unaccustomed to outside marriage. How can I navigate these desires faithfully while waiting for a godly partner?

- I keep having dreams about sex and cheating on my husband. I wake up feeling guilty. Is this a reflection of my character, and is there a way to make the dreams stop?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> 082 - Desire, Dreams, and Waiting Well Pure Desire Ministries 00:21:16 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - What books would you recommend reading to help me understand sex and orgasm? - After 18 years of marriage and repeated betrayals by my husband, I’ve been divorced for two years and abstinent, yet I struggle with a strong sexual desire I’m unaccustomed to outside marriage. How can I navigate these desires faithfully while waiting for a godly partner? - I keep having dreams about sex and cheating on my husband. I wake up feeling guilty. Is this a reflection of my character, and is there a way to make the dreams stop? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - What books would you recommend reading to help me understand sex and orgasm? - After 18 years of marriage and repeated betrayals by my husband, I’ve been divorced for two years and abstinent, yet I struggle with a strong sexual desire I’m unaccustomed to outside marriage. How can I navigate these desires faithfully while waiting for a godly partner? - I keep having dreams about sex and cheating on my husband. I wake up feeling guilty. Is this a reflection of my character, and is there a way to make the dreams stop? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 82 14374645-4cd4-4223-b091-3cb433d19f0a 081 - Betrayal, Legal Issues, & Hopelessness On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband’s parents are loving and generous, but since D-Day, he hasn’t been honest with them about his actions or the consequences. He was fired and had to hire a lawyer due to his acting out behaviors. I’ve become his secret keeper, which leaves me resentful and conflicted. How much truth should I share with his parents without oversharing but so they know it’s gone beyond porn use?

- I’m almost finished with my first Betrayed & Beyond group, and while the community has been incredibly helpful, I’ve also felt isolated. Few seem to understand the added burden of legal issues from a spouse’s acting out. What support exists for those of us navigating court or jail situations while choosing to stay?

- In the midst of the betrayal, how do you hold on to hope that this too shall pass?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Group Leader Training

Female Groups Point of Contact - kellyj@puredesire.org

Male Groups Point of Contact - stuartb@puredesire.org

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> Tue, 9 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/081-betrayal-legal-issues-hopelessness-WXdJ8BZo On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband’s parents are loving and generous, but since D-Day, he hasn’t been honest with them about his actions or the consequences. He was fired and had to hire a lawyer due to his acting out behaviors. I’ve become his secret keeper, which leaves me resentful and conflicted. How much truth should I share with his parents without oversharing but so they know it’s gone beyond porn use?

- I’m almost finished with my first Betrayed & Beyond group, and while the community has been incredibly helpful, I’ve also felt isolated. Few seem to understand the added burden of legal issues from a spouse’s acting out. What support exists for those of us navigating court or jail situations while choosing to stay?

- In the midst of the betrayal, how do you hold on to hope that this too shall pass?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Group Leader Training

Female Groups Point of Contact - kellyj@puredesire.org

Male Groups Point of Contact - stuartb@puredesire.org

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> 081 - Betrayal, Legal Issues, & Hopelessness Pure Desire Ministries 00:16:10 On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband’s parents are loving and generous, but since D-Day, he hasn’t been honest with them about his actions or the consequences. He was fired and had to hire a lawyer due to his acting out behaviors. I’ve become his secret keeper, which leaves me resentful and conflicted. How much truth should I share with his parents without oversharing but so they know it’s gone beyond porn use? I’m almost finished with my first Betrayed & Beyond group, and while the community has been incredibly helpful, I’ve also felt isolated. Few seem to understand the added burden of legal issues from a spouse’s acting out. What support exists for those of us navigating court or jail situations while choosing to stay? In the midst of the betrayal, how do you hold on to hope that this too shall pass? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband’s parents are loving and generous, but since D-Day, he hasn’t been honest with them about his actions or the consequences. He was fired and had to hire a lawyer due to his acting out behaviors. I’ve become his secret keeper, which leaves me resentful and conflicted. How much truth should I share with his parents without oversharing but so they know it’s gone beyond porn use? I’m almost finished with my first Betrayed & Beyond group, and while the community has been incredibly helpful, I’ve also felt isolated. Few seem to understand the added burden of legal issues from a spouse’s acting out. What support exists for those of us navigating court or jail situations while choosing to stay? In the midst of the betrayal, how do you hold on to hope that this too shall pass? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 81 7dd12586-0771-41d5-b59d-6417d89f2c85 080 - How Our Healing Impacts Our Family Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Does PD counseling include diving into family of origin trauma such as enmeshment between a parent and a child?
  • Through my healing I’ve learned a lot about attachment styles. My young adult daughter doesn’t have an obvious attachment style and doesn’t seem interested in pursuing life outside of our home. Why do you think this is?
  • Recently discovered our teenage daughter is reading smut. We have had ongoing conversations about how our sexuality is a gift from God. Our kids are also aware of my husband’s struggle and that we’re 5 years into this process. How would you approach the conversation to not shame her?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Girl Talk
YYL

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> Tue, 2 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/080-how-our-healing-impacts-our-family-33XpMcTu Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Does PD counseling include diving into family of origin trauma such as enmeshment between a parent and a child?
  • Through my healing I’ve learned a lot about attachment styles. My young adult daughter doesn’t have an obvious attachment style and doesn’t seem interested in pursuing life outside of our home. Why do you think this is?
  • Recently discovered our teenage daughter is reading smut. We have had ongoing conversations about how our sexuality is a gift from God. Our kids are also aware of my husband’s struggle and that we’re 5 years into this process. How would you approach the conversation to not shame her?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Girl Talk
YYL

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 080 - How Our Healing Impacts Our Family Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:35 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Does PD counseling include diving into family of origin trauma such as enmeshment between a parent and a child? Through my healing I’ve learned a lot about attachment styles. My young adult daughter doesn’t have an obvious attachment style and doesn’t seem interested in pursuing life outside of our home. Why do you think this is? Recently discovered our teenage daughter is reading smut. We have had ongoing conversations about how our sexuality is a gift from God. Our kids are also aware of my husband’s struggle and that we’re 5 years into this process. How would you approach the conversation to not shame her? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Does PD counseling include diving into family of origin trauma such as enmeshment between a parent and a child? Through my healing I’ve learned a lot about attachment styles. My young adult daughter doesn’t have an obvious attachment style and doesn’t seem interested in pursuing life outside of our home. Why do you think this is? Recently discovered our teenage daughter is reading smut. We have had ongoing conversations about how our sexuality is a gift from God. Our kids are also aware of my husband’s struggle and that we’re 5 years into this process. How would you approach the conversation to not shame her? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 80 166edf38-e9ff-480d-bacc-96065eb9c8e9 079 - Dating and Engagement in the Midst of Recovery Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

 

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- In a dating context, how much recovery should my boyfriend have from sexual addiction prior to us stepping into marriage?

- I’m leading an Authentically You group, and several young women are sharing about their fiancés’ struggles with porn. They seem determined to marry despite hidden worries. I know the heartbreak and struggle that likely awaits these young women. As someone whose husband is in long-term recovery, I feel torn—should I directly warn them not to marry without real help and sobriety?

- I’m in my late 20s and dating someone who’s been in recovery for sexual addiction through groups and counseling. I’ve also been through Betrayal & Beyond. Despite his efforts, he hasn’t maintained consistent sobriety, and I feel heartbroken and powerless. I want to believe in his healing, but should I keep dating him or step back for my own healing?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Tue, 25 Nov 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/079-dating-and-engagement-in-the-midst-of-recovery-Q28OvXFR Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

 

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- In a dating context, how much recovery should my boyfriend have from sexual addiction prior to us stepping into marriage?

- I’m leading an Authentically You group, and several young women are sharing about their fiancés’ struggles with porn. They seem determined to marry despite hidden worries. I know the heartbreak and struggle that likely awaits these young women. As someone whose husband is in long-term recovery, I feel torn—should I directly warn them not to marry without real help and sobriety?

- I’m in my late 20s and dating someone who’s been in recovery for sexual addiction through groups and counseling. I’ve also been through Betrayal & Beyond. Despite his efforts, he hasn’t maintained consistent sobriety, and I feel heartbroken and powerless. I want to believe in his healing, but should I keep dating him or step back for my own healing?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> 079 - Dating and Engagement in the Midst of Recovery Pure Desire Ministries 00:12:41 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - In a dating context, how much recovery should my boyfriend have from sexual addiction prior to us stepping into marriage? - I’m leading an Authentically You group, and several young women are sharing about their fiancés’ struggles with porn. They seem determined to marry despite hidden worries. I know the heartbreak and struggle that likely awaits these young women. As someone whose husband is in long-term recovery, I feel torn—should I directly warn them not to marry without real help and sobriety? - I’m in my late 20s and dating someone who’s been in recovery for sexual addiction through groups and counseling. I’ve also been through Betrayal & Beyond. Despite his efforts, he hasn’t maintained consistent sobriety, and I feel heartbroken and powerless. I want to believe in his healing, but should I keep dating him or step back for my own healing? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - In a dating context, how much recovery should my boyfriend have from sexual addiction prior to us stepping into marriage? - I’m leading an Authentically You group, and several young women are sharing about their fiancés’ struggles with porn. They seem determined to marry despite hidden worries. I know the heartbreak and struggle that likely awaits these young women. As someone whose husband is in long-term recovery, I feel torn—should I directly warn them not to marry without real help and sobriety? - I’m in my late 20s and dating someone who’s been in recovery for sexual addiction through groups and counseling. I’ve also been through Betrayal & Beyond. Despite his efforts, he hasn’t maintained consistent sobriety, and I feel heartbroken and powerless. I want to believe in his healing, but should I keep dating him or step back for my own healing? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 79 42bd6875-db90-4365-b868-ecc921c724e9 078 - Equipping Group Leaders: Strangulation, Spiritualizing, & Emotional Affairs Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • More women are coming to group with strangulation trauma as part of the abuse they’ve gone through. I recently had a woman in group who had experienced this and ended up with a blood clot in her neck that could have been life threatening. How do we learn more/have better awareness around this?
  • What is the best way to handle spiritualizers in your group—especially if they are spiritualizing the situations of other group members in group conversations. It can be difficult to navigate those conversations in a group setting.
  • In group, I’ve heard others talk about emotional affairs—how do you define an emotional affair?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

PD 50 Shades of Grey Review

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 18 Nov 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/078-equipping-group-leaders-strangulation-spiritualizing-emotional-affairs-yZKFqlL_ Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • More women are coming to group with strangulation trauma as part of the abuse they’ve gone through. I recently had a woman in group who had experienced this and ended up with a blood clot in her neck that could have been life threatening. How do we learn more/have better awareness around this?
  • What is the best way to handle spiritualizers in your group—especially if they are spiritualizing the situations of other group members in group conversations. It can be difficult to navigate those conversations in a group setting.
  • In group, I’ve heard others talk about emotional affairs—how do you define an emotional affair?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

PD 50 Shades of Grey Review

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 078 - Equipping Group Leaders: Strangulation, Spiritualizing, & Emotional Affairs Pure Desire Ministries 00:22:18 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: More women are coming to group with strangulation trauma as part of the abuse they’ve gone through. I recently had a woman in group who had experienced this and ended up with a blood clot in her neck that could have been life threatening. How do we learn more/have better awareness around this? What is the best way to handle spiritualizers in your group—especially if they are spiritualizing the situations of other group members in group conversations. It can be difficult to navigate those conversations in a group setting. In group, I’ve heard others talk about emotional affairs—how do you define an emotional affair? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: More women are coming to group with strangulation trauma as part of the abuse they’ve gone through. I recently had a woman in group who had experienced this and ended up with a blood clot in her neck that could have been life threatening. How do we learn more/have better awareness around this? What is the best way to handle spiritualizers in your group—especially if they are spiritualizing the situations of other group members in group conversations. It can be difficult to navigate those conversations in a group setting. In group, I’ve heard others talk about emotional affairs—how do you define an emotional affair? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 78 2063b7b5-50f2-489d-b396-381dcd103322 077 - Making Sense of My Sexual Behaviors Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Even though I'm faithful to my husband, and love him dearly, I lust and fantasize and my maladaptive daydreaming is out of control. How do I navigate these waters? Is this past trauma and my need for control? Where do I start with healing?
  • I stopped my own porn use three years ago after finding out about my husband’s addiction, but I never really addressed it or worked through it — I just buried it. What steps should I take now to deal with the patterns and wounds that may still be affecting my mental health and my relationship with him?
  • Why do I want to masturbate after being hurt by my husband? Do I have an addiction or is it a hurt cycle I am going through? Is it because he hurt me and I don't want to have sex with him and am trying to get my own needs met?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org

We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

The Fantasy Fallacy

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 11 Nov 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/077-making-sense-of-my-sexual-behaviors-RlGtY4Of Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Even though I'm faithful to my husband, and love him dearly, I lust and fantasize and my maladaptive daydreaming is out of control. How do I navigate these waters? Is this past trauma and my need for control? Where do I start with healing?
  • I stopped my own porn use three years ago after finding out about my husband’s addiction, but I never really addressed it or worked through it — I just buried it. What steps should I take now to deal with the patterns and wounds that may still be affecting my mental health and my relationship with him?
  • Why do I want to masturbate after being hurt by my husband? Do I have an addiction or is it a hurt cycle I am going through? Is it because he hurt me and I don't want to have sex with him and am trying to get my own needs met?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org

We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

The Fantasy Fallacy

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 077 - Making Sense of My Sexual Behaviors Pure Desire Ministries 00:12:35 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - Even though I'm faithful to my husband, and love him dearly, I lust and fantasize and my maladaptive daydreaming is out of control. How do I navigate these waters? Is this past trauma and my need for control? Where do I start with healing? - I stopped my own porn use three years ago after finding out about my husband’s addiction, but I never really addressed it or worked through it — I just buried it. What steps should I take now to deal with the patterns and wounds that may still be affecting my mental health and my relationship with him? - Why do I want to masturbate after being hurt by my husband? Do I have an addiction or is it a hurt cycle I am going through? Is it because he hurt me and I don't want to have sex with him and am trying to get my own needs met? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - Even though I'm faithful to my husband, and love him dearly, I lust and fantasize and my maladaptive daydreaming is out of control. How do I navigate these waters? Is this past trauma and my need for control? Where do I start with healing? - I stopped my own porn use three years ago after finding out about my husband’s addiction, but I never really addressed it or worked through it — I just buried it. What steps should I take now to deal with the patterns and wounds that may still be affecting my mental health and my relationship with him? - Why do I want to masturbate after being hurt by my husband? Do I have an addiction or is it a hurt cycle I am going through? Is it because he hurt me and I don't want to have sex with him and am trying to get my own needs met? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 77 65c30e27-079b-4112-a221-a5e6807d0256 076 - The Harsh Reality of Being in a Sexless Marriage Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • How do I not hate or resent my husband when I grieve the inability to try to have more children because we have a sexless marriage due to the trauma of his addiction?
  • Can you speak to sexual anorexia after betrayal? It's been 5 years since my husband and I have had sex. He thinks I should be willing to try, but I recoil every time he touches me. I can barely kiss him. I've been through B&B three times (as a leader twice). He has been through Seven Pillars five times, and has been a leader for 4 or 5  years. I discovered his betrayal in 2013.
  • My husband is well on his way to recovery and I am so grateful for all his work, but I’m realizing I need more help myself. Now that he has made me the desires of his sexual pleasure, I find that I am more cautious and suspicious of his sexual advances. I’m always analytical about where his needs are coming from. What should I do?

Listen Now

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on  Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 4 Nov 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/the-harsh-reality-of-being-in-a-sexless-marriage-rZuhu30S Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • How do I not hate or resent my husband when I grieve the inability to try to have more children because we have a sexless marriage due to the trauma of his addiction?
  • Can you speak to sexual anorexia after betrayal? It's been 5 years since my husband and I have had sex. He thinks I should be willing to try, but I recoil every time he touches me. I can barely kiss him. I've been through B&B three times (as a leader twice). He has been through Seven Pillars five times, and has been a leader for 4 or 5  years. I discovered his betrayal in 2013.
  • My husband is well on his way to recovery and I am so grateful for all his work, but I’m realizing I need more help myself. Now that he has made me the desires of his sexual pleasure, I find that I am more cautious and suspicious of his sexual advances. I’m always analytical about where his needs are coming from. What should I do?

Listen Now

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on  Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 076 - The Harsh Reality of Being in a Sexless Marriage Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:11 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - How do I not hate or resent my husband when I grieve the inability to try to have more children because we have a sexless marriage due to the trauma of his addiction? - Can you speak to sexual anorexia after betrayal? It's been 5 years since my husband and I have had sex. He thinks I should be willing to try, but I recoil every time he touches me. I can barely kiss him. I've been through B&B three times (as a leader twice). He has been through Seven Pillars five times, and has been a leader for 4 or 5  years. I discovered his betrayal in 2013. - My husband is well on his way to recovery and I am so grateful for all his work, but I’m realizing I need more help myself. Now that he has made me the desires of his sexual pleasure, I find that I am more cautious and suspicious of his sexual advances. I’m always analytical about where his needs are coming from. What should I do? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - How do I not hate or resent my husband when I grieve the inability to try to have more children because we have a sexless marriage due to the trauma of his addiction? - Can you speak to sexual anorexia after betrayal? It's been 5 years since my husband and I have had sex. He thinks I should be willing to try, but I recoil every time he touches me. I can barely kiss him. I've been through B&B three times (as a leader twice). He has been through Seven Pillars five times, and has been a leader for 4 or 5  years. I discovered his betrayal in 2013. - My husband is well on his way to recovery and I am so grateful for all his work, but I’m realizing I need more help myself. Now that he has made me the desires of his sexual pleasure, I find that I am more cautious and suspicious of his sexual advances. I’m always analytical about where his needs are coming from. What should I do? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 76 8feb2e2c-f124-4172-a15f-4ba260066b57 075 - Purity Culture, Expectations, and a High Libido Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- I’ve felt the harm of purity culture, but I’m confused by the reaction against it—where modesty seems dismissed altogether. I see Christian women dressing in ways that feel extreme, and I wonder if immodesty reflects deeper heart issues. Is there still space to talk about healthy modesty without sounding judgmental?

- I was told having expectations is wrong, but I disagree. I don’t expect perfection—just honesty, fidelity, empathy, and repentance without blame. My husband says I expect too much, but aren’t these just the basics of a healthy marriage? Where’s the line between reasonable expectations and unrealistic standards?

- My husband and I have been in recovery for years. I’m the higher drive spouse, wanting intimacy more often, but I’ve stopped initiating because I feel rejected or like a burden. When he finally is in the mood, I freeze and feel disconnected—even when it’s genuine. Why do I shut down in the moments I actually crave most?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex

The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex

The Gift of Sex

The Couple’s Guide to Intimacy

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/075-purity-culture-expectations-and-a-high-libido-MSRtKNRA Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- I’ve felt the harm of purity culture, but I’m confused by the reaction against it—where modesty seems dismissed altogether. I see Christian women dressing in ways that feel extreme, and I wonder if immodesty reflects deeper heart issues. Is there still space to talk about healthy modesty without sounding judgmental?

- I was told having expectations is wrong, but I disagree. I don’t expect perfection—just honesty, fidelity, empathy, and repentance without blame. My husband says I expect too much, but aren’t these just the basics of a healthy marriage? Where’s the line between reasonable expectations and unrealistic standards?

- My husband and I have been in recovery for years. I’m the higher drive spouse, wanting intimacy more often, but I’ve stopped initiating because I feel rejected or like a burden. When he finally is in the mood, I freeze and feel disconnected—even when it’s genuine. Why do I shut down in the moments I actually crave most?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex

The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex

The Gift of Sex

The Couple’s Guide to Intimacy

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 075 - Purity Culture, Expectations, and a High Libido Pure Desire Ministries 00:21:23 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I’ve felt the harm of purity culture, but I’m confused by the reaction against it—where modesty seems dismissed altogether. I see Christian women dressing in ways that feel extreme, and I wonder if immodesty reflects deeper heart issues. Is there still space to talk about healthy modesty without sounding judgmental? - I was told having expectations is wrong, but I disagree. I don’t expect perfection—just honesty, fidelity, empathy, and repentance without blame. My husband says I expect too much, but aren’t these just the basics of a healthy marriage? Where’s the line between reasonable expectations and unrealistic standards? - My husband and I have been in recovery for years. I’m the higher drive spouse, wanting intimacy more often, but I’ve stopped initiating because I feel rejected or like a burden. When he finally is in the mood, I freeze and feel disconnected—even when it’s genuine. Why do I shut down in the moments I actually crave most? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I’ve felt the harm of purity culture, but I’m confused by the reaction against it—where modesty seems dismissed altogether. I see Christian women dressing in ways that feel extreme, and I wonder if immodesty reflects deeper heart issues. Is there still space to talk about healthy modesty without sounding judgmental? - I was told having expectations is wrong, but I disagree. I don’t expect perfection—just honesty, fidelity, empathy, and repentance without blame. My husband says I expect too much, but aren’t these just the basics of a healthy marriage? Where’s the line between reasonable expectations and unrealistic standards? - My husband and I have been in recovery for years. I’m the higher drive spouse, wanting intimacy more often, but I’ve stopped initiating because I feel rejected or like a burden. When he finally is in the mood, I freeze and feel disconnected—even when it’s genuine. Why do I shut down in the moments I actually crave most? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 75 32edd0b7-4473-46cf-b803-3dee91d4b0fd 074 - The Unique Nuances of Betrayal and Healing Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- I was married for 30 years and I didn’t understand the depth of my husband’s porn addiction until about 8 years ago. He refused to seek help and he recently passed away, so I am doing this recovery alone. About 9 months ago, I found him at his place of business, deceased, in front of his computer masturbating to porn. I have signed up for Betrayal & Beyond. I am wondering if my situation is unique and if this group has anything that touches on my particular trauma?

- Eighteen months ago, I learned my husband had a two-year affair—with a woman I considered a close friend. We’re healing, and I’ve forgiven him, but I can’t move past her betrayal. Why aren’t there more resources on forgiving and healing from infidelity when the other woman was also a trusted friend?

- My husband has not been officially tested, but we wonder if he is high functioning autistic. In what ways does neurodiversity affect the addict's healing process? Are there practical ways to modify or approach support if this is part of the picture?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Grief Share

Is This Autism?

PD Podcast w/ Jenna Riemersma

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 21 Oct 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/074-the-unique-nuances-of-betrayal-and-healing-IY4ZqmqG Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- I was married for 30 years and I didn’t understand the depth of my husband’s porn addiction until about 8 years ago. He refused to seek help and he recently passed away, so I am doing this recovery alone. About 9 months ago, I found him at his place of business, deceased, in front of his computer masturbating to porn. I have signed up for Betrayal & Beyond. I am wondering if my situation is unique and if this group has anything that touches on my particular trauma?

- Eighteen months ago, I learned my husband had a two-year affair—with a woman I considered a close friend. We’re healing, and I’ve forgiven him, but I can’t move past her betrayal. Why aren’t there more resources on forgiving and healing from infidelity when the other woman was also a trusted friend?

- My husband has not been officially tested, but we wonder if he is high functioning autistic. In what ways does neurodiversity affect the addict's healing process? Are there practical ways to modify or approach support if this is part of the picture?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Grief Share

Is This Autism?

PD Podcast w/ Jenna Riemersma

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> 074 - The Unique Nuances of Betrayal and Healing Pure Desire Ministries 00:20:55 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I was married for 30 years and I didn’t understand the depth of my husband’s porn addiction until about 8 years ago. He refused to seek help and he recently passed away, so I am doing this recovery alone. About 9 months ago, I found him at his place of business, deceased, in front of his computer masturbating to porn. I have signed up for Betrayal & Beyond. I am wondering if my situation is unique and if this group has anything that touches on my particular trauma? - Eighteen months ago, I learned my husband had a two-year affair—with a woman I considered a close friend. We’re healing, and I’ve forgiven him, but I can’t move past her betrayal. Why aren’t there more resources on forgiving and healing from infidelity when the other woman was also a trusted friend? - My husband has not been officially tested, but we wonder if he is high functioning autistic. In what ways does neurodiversity affect the addict's healing process? Are there practical ways to modify or approach support if this is part of the picture? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I was married for 30 years and I didn’t understand the depth of my husband’s porn addiction until about 8 years ago. He refused to seek help and he recently passed away, so I am doing this recovery alone. About 9 months ago, I found him at his place of business, deceased, in front of his computer masturbating to porn. I have signed up for Betrayal & Beyond. I am wondering if my situation is unique and if this group has anything that touches on my particular trauma? - Eighteen months ago, I learned my husband had a two-year affair—with a woman I considered a close friend. We’re healing, and I’ve forgiven him, but I can’t move past her betrayal. Why aren’t there more resources on forgiving and healing from infidelity when the other woman was also a trusted friend? - My husband has not been officially tested, but we wonder if he is high functioning autistic. In what ways does neurodiversity affect the addict's healing process? Are there practical ways to modify or approach support if this is part of the picture? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 74 e115a4af-4dfa-48b9-b307-2e19ce2f02fe 073 - Singleness, Same-Sex Attraction, & Sex Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- I am single right now, but every time I get in the shower I think about when I get married and if my husband will want to take a shower with me. I don't want my husband in the shower. So how would I tell him no without hurting him?

- I'm a follower of Christ. I was sexually abused several times as a child, I struggled with same-sex attraction most of my life, and I am still single. How do I engage my sexual desires at this stage in a healthy way, knowing that I want to honor God above all?

- I am 47 years old and single. I’m having a lot of anxiety about the idea of having sex when I’m married. I want to be married, but I’m afraid sex will hurt, I won’t know how to act, and I don’t even want to have an orgasm. How do I handle all of these thoughts and fears?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you

Resources:

The Wounded Heart

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 14 Oct 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/073-singleness-same-sex-attraction-sex-4JClC8Mm Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- I am single right now, but every time I get in the shower I think about when I get married and if my husband will want to take a shower with me. I don't want my husband in the shower. So how would I tell him no without hurting him?

- I'm a follower of Christ. I was sexually abused several times as a child, I struggled with same-sex attraction most of my life, and I am still single. How do I engage my sexual desires at this stage in a healthy way, knowing that I want to honor God above all?

- I am 47 years old and single. I’m having a lot of anxiety about the idea of having sex when I’m married. I want to be married, but I’m afraid sex will hurt, I won’t know how to act, and I don’t even want to have an orgasm. How do I handle all of these thoughts and fears?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you

Resources:

The Wounded Heart

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 073 - Singleness, Same-Sex Attraction, & Sex Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:44 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I am single right now, but every time I get in the shower I think about when I get married and if my husband will want to take a shower with me. I don't want my husband in the shower. So how would I tell him no without hurting him? - I'm a follower of Christ. I was sexually abused several times as a child, I struggled with same-sex attraction most of my life, and I am still single. How do I engage my sexual desires at this stage in a healthy way, knowing that I want to honor God above all? - I am 47 years old and single. I’m having a lot of anxiety about the idea of having sex when I’m married. I want to be married, but I’m afraid sex will hurt, I won’t know how to act, and I don’t even want to have an orgasm. How do I handle all of these thoughts and fears? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I am single right now, but every time I get in the shower I think about when I get married and if my husband will want to take a shower with me. I don't want my husband in the shower. So how would I tell him no without hurting him? - I'm a follower of Christ. I was sexually abused several times as a child, I struggled with same-sex attraction most of my life, and I am still single. How do I engage my sexual desires at this stage in a healthy way, knowing that I want to honor God above all? - I am 47 years old and single. I’m having a lot of anxiety about the idea of having sex when I’m married. I want to be married, but I’m afraid sex will hurt, I won’t know how to act, and I don’t even want to have an orgasm. How do I handle all of these thoughts and fears? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 73 b7e49112-17c6-46da-a0ba-1671d02e51e1 072 - Navigating the Nuances of Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- After 9 years of repeated porn discoveries in my marriage, we're now heading into an intensive with a polygraph. It’s our first time using one, and I feel lost on what to ask. What questions truly bring clarity and healing? What are the top questions a betrayed spouse should ask when preparing for a polygraph?

- After years of betrayal, broken promises, and failed recovery attempts, I separated from my husband and began the divorce process. Now he says he wants to reconcile—but I still see addiction, denial, and little change. I love him, but I feel unseen, blamed, and unsafe. Am I holding onto hope, or just delaying the inevitable?

- We’ve been in recovery since 2013 with every tool imaginable, yet my husband never stays sober longer than three months. I carry the emotional weight, manage our home and kids, and suffer the consequences of his choices. I'm exhausted, angry, and feel stuck. I want to leave. Why am I the one paying for his addiction and failures?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Dr. Jill Manning's Article

Good Boundaries & Goodbye

Divorce Pure Desire Podcast

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 7 Oct 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/072-navigating-the-nuances-of-betrayal-1MTOc6gQ Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- After 9 years of repeated porn discoveries in my marriage, we're now heading into an intensive with a polygraph. It’s our first time using one, and I feel lost on what to ask. What questions truly bring clarity and healing? What are the top questions a betrayed spouse should ask when preparing for a polygraph?

- After years of betrayal, broken promises, and failed recovery attempts, I separated from my husband and began the divorce process. Now he says he wants to reconcile—but I still see addiction, denial, and little change. I love him, but I feel unseen, blamed, and unsafe. Am I holding onto hope, or just delaying the inevitable?

- We’ve been in recovery since 2013 with every tool imaginable, yet my husband never stays sober longer than three months. I carry the emotional weight, manage our home and kids, and suffer the consequences of his choices. I'm exhausted, angry, and feel stuck. I want to leave. Why am I the one paying for his addiction and failures?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Dr. Jill Manning's Article

Good Boundaries & Goodbye

Divorce Pure Desire Podcast

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 072 - Navigating the Nuances of Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:58 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - After 9 years of repeated porn discoveries in my marriage, we're now heading into an intensive with a polygraph. It’s our first time using one, and I feel lost on what to ask. What questions truly bring clarity and healing? What are the top questions a betrayed spouse should ask when preparing for a polygraph? - After years of betrayal, broken promises, and failed recovery attempts, I separated from my husband and began the divorce process. Now he says he wants to reconcile—but I still see addiction, denial, and little change. I love him, but I feel unseen, blamed, and unsafe. Am I holding onto hope, or just delaying the inevitable? - We’ve been in recovery since 2013 with every tool imaginable, yet my husband never stays sober longer than three months. I carry the emotional weight, manage our home and kids, and suffer the consequences of his choices. I'm exhausted, angry, and feel stuck. I want to leave. Why am I the one paying for his addiction and failures? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - After 9 years of repeated porn discoveries in my marriage, we're now heading into an intensive with a polygraph. It’s our first time using one, and I feel lost on what to ask. What questions truly bring clarity and healing? What are the top questions a betrayed spouse should ask when preparing for a polygraph? - After years of betrayal, broken promises, and failed recovery attempts, I separated from my husband and began the divorce process. Now he says he wants to reconcile—but I still see addiction, denial, and little change. I love him, but I feel unseen, blamed, and unsafe. Am I holding onto hope, or just delaying the inevitable? - We’ve been in recovery since 2013 with every tool imaginable, yet my husband never stays sober longer than three months. I carry the emotional weight, manage our home and kids, and suffer the consequences of his choices. I'm exhausted, angry, and feel stuck. I want to leave. Why am I the one paying for his addiction and failures? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 72 b803acbd-ef42-4af3-a956-c4297b682a98 071 - When Healing from Betrayal Feels like a Revolving Door Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband and I have been in recovery through PD since late 2024, navigating sobriety, betrayal trauma, and rebuilding intimacy. While I’m seeking emotional safety, he reacts with blame when having sex is paused. I’m craving emotional connection before sex, not withholding love. Am I in the wrong to not have physical intimacy until I feel safe? How can healing happen when emotional safety feels out of reach?
  • I feel frustrated by my husband's lack of romance after betrayal. If he pursued me once, why not now—especially after I've chosen to forgive him? I was the one hurt, so why am I still waiting to be pursued? Will he ever learn?
  • My husband watches women as they walk by, and when called out about it, he lied. Though he later admitted lying about it, I was told this was growth. I’m also encouraged to “reframe” his behavior as him choosing me—but that feels like spiritual bypassing. Am I reframing, or just gaslighting myself to cope with pain? Any insights would be helpful.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

5 Ways To Pursue Your Wife Blog 

3 Circles Tool

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 30 Sep 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/071-when-healing-from-betrayal-feels-like-a-revolving-door-5m5LaODc Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband and I have been in recovery through PD since late 2024, navigating sobriety, betrayal trauma, and rebuilding intimacy. While I’m seeking emotional safety, he reacts with blame when having sex is paused. I’m craving emotional connection before sex, not withholding love. Am I in the wrong to not have physical intimacy until I feel safe? How can healing happen when emotional safety feels out of reach?
  • I feel frustrated by my husband's lack of romance after betrayal. If he pursued me once, why not now—especially after I've chosen to forgive him? I was the one hurt, so why am I still waiting to be pursued? Will he ever learn?
  • My husband watches women as they walk by, and when called out about it, he lied. Though he later admitted lying about it, I was told this was growth. I’m also encouraged to “reframe” his behavior as him choosing me—but that feels like spiritual bypassing. Am I reframing, or just gaslighting myself to cope with pain? Any insights would be helpful.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

5 Ways To Pursue Your Wife Blog 

3 Circles Tool

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 071 - When Healing from Betrayal Feels like a Revolving Door Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:44 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband and I have been in recovery through PD since late 2024, navigating sobriety, betrayal trauma, and rebuilding intimacy. While I’m seeking emotional safety, he reacts with blame when having sex is paused. I’m craving emotional connection before sex, not withholding love. Am I in the wrong to not have physical intimacy until I feel safe? How can healing happen when emotional safety feels out of reach? I feel frustrated by my husband's lack of romance after betrayal. If he pursued me once, why not now—especially after I've chosen to forgive him? I was the one hurt, so why am I still waiting to be pursued? Will he ever learn? My husband watches women as they walk by, and when called out about it, he lied. Though he later admitted lying about it, I was told this was growth. I’m also encouraged to “reframe” his behavior as him choosing me—but that feels like spiritual bypassing. Am I reframing, or just gaslighting myself to cope with pain? Any insights would be helpful. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband and I have been in recovery through PD since late 2024, navigating sobriety, betrayal trauma, and rebuilding intimacy. While I’m seeking emotional safety, he reacts with blame when having sex is paused. I’m craving emotional connection before sex, not withholding love. Am I in the wrong to not have physical intimacy until I feel safe? How can healing happen when emotional safety feels out of reach? I feel frustrated by my husband's lack of romance after betrayal. If he pursued me once, why not now—especially after I've chosen to forgive him? I was the one hurt, so why am I still waiting to be pursued? Will he ever learn? My husband watches women as they walk by, and when called out about it, he lied. Though he later admitted lying about it, I was told this was growth. I’m also encouraged to “reframe” his behavior as him choosing me—but that feels like spiritual bypassing. Am I reframing, or just gaslighting myself to cope with pain? Any insights would be helpful. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 71 7615b30b-2505-40e8-bce0-2913e255e39d 070 - Balancing Singleness & Relationships Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I find myself constantly chasing relationships, even unhealthy ones, just so I don’t feel alone. I know it’s not good for me, but the fear of being without someone feels unbearable. How do I start breaking free from this cycle of needing to be wanted?
  • When I’m in a relationship, I have obsessive thoughts that I can’t shut off. I wait by my phone for my boyfriend to respond, and I want to be texting him all of the time. But when I’m in person with him, I find myself almost sabotaging the relationship and feeling uncomfortable if things feel like they are getting serious or deep.
  • I relapsed with a guy last weekend, and now I feel like I have no right to share the gospel or be a witness to others. I feel ashamed, afraid, and hopeless.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Crash Site Analysis Podcast Episode

Crash Site Analysis

Escape Plan

Recovery Action Plan

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 23 Sep 2025 15:05:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/070-balancing-singleness-relationships-5kK6gr7K Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I find myself constantly chasing relationships, even unhealthy ones, just so I don’t feel alone. I know it’s not good for me, but the fear of being without someone feels unbearable. How do I start breaking free from this cycle of needing to be wanted?
  • When I’m in a relationship, I have obsessive thoughts that I can’t shut off. I wait by my phone for my boyfriend to respond, and I want to be texting him all of the time. But when I’m in person with him, I find myself almost sabotaging the relationship and feeling uncomfortable if things feel like they are getting serious or deep.
  • I relapsed with a guy last weekend, and now I feel like I have no right to share the gospel or be a witness to others. I feel ashamed, afraid, and hopeless.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Crash Site Analysis Podcast Episode

Crash Site Analysis

Escape Plan

Recovery Action Plan

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 070 - Balancing Singleness & Relationships Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:24 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I find myself constantly chasing relationships, even unhealthy ones, just so I don’t feel alone. I know it’s not good for me, but the fear of being without someone feels unbearable. How do I start breaking free from this cycle of needing to be wanted? - When I’m in a relationship, I have obsessive thoughts that I can’t shut off. I wait by my phone for my boyfriend to respond, and I want to be texting him all of the time. But when I’m in person with him, I find myself almost sabotaging the relationship and feeling uncomfortable if things feel like they are getting serious or deep. - I relapsed with a guy last weekend, and now I feel like I have no right to share the gospel or be a witness to others. I feel ashamed, afraid, and hopeless. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I find myself constantly chasing relationships, even unhealthy ones, just so I don’t feel alone. I know it’s not good for me, but the fear of being without someone feels unbearable. How do I start breaking free from this cycle of needing to be wanted? - When I’m in a relationship, I have obsessive thoughts that I can’t shut off. I wait by my phone for my boyfriend to respond, and I want to be texting him all of the time. But when I’m in person with him, I find myself almost sabotaging the relationship and feeling uncomfortable if things feel like they are getting serious or deep. - I relapsed with a guy last weekend, and now I feel like I have no right to share the gospel or be a witness to others. I feel ashamed, afraid, and hopeless. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 70 7949e551-0aec-4060-b7fc-fc91d49e47d2 069 - The Ups and Downs of Healing from Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband and I are a few months into recovery after he disclosed years of hidden porn use. While he believes he’s walking in victory, I’m unsure how to distinguish true healing from another “purge” phase, given his past cycle. With new safeguards in place, how can I know if real heart change is happening—not just behavioral control?
  • I’m healing from betrayal in my marriage and making real progress, but I struggle deeply with attending church. Knowing how widespread porn use is—and seeing how the church often stays silent—leaves me angry and grieving. My husband’s unchecked sin in leadership broke my trust in the church. How do I reconnect with a spiritual community that now feels unsafe?
  • My husband has been in recovery from porn addiction for nearly three years and has faithfully attended a support group for over a decade. Now he feels ready to step back, saying he no longer needs it and wants more time with our family. While I understand, the idea of him not being in a group makes me uneasy. How do I know it’s truly safe for him to stop?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 16 Sep 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/069-the-ups-and-downs-of-healing-from-betrayal-AbNIY3Wu Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband and I are a few months into recovery after he disclosed years of hidden porn use. While he believes he’s walking in victory, I’m unsure how to distinguish true healing from another “purge” phase, given his past cycle. With new safeguards in place, how can I know if real heart change is happening—not just behavioral control?
  • I’m healing from betrayal in my marriage and making real progress, but I struggle deeply with attending church. Knowing how widespread porn use is—and seeing how the church often stays silent—leaves me angry and grieving. My husband’s unchecked sin in leadership broke my trust in the church. How do I reconnect with a spiritual community that now feels unsafe?
  • My husband has been in recovery from porn addiction for nearly three years and has faithfully attended a support group for over a decade. Now he feels ready to step back, saying he no longer needs it and wants more time with our family. While I understand, the idea of him not being in a group makes me uneasy. How do I know it’s truly safe for him to stop?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> 069 - The Ups and Downs of Healing from Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:34 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband and I are a few months into recovery after he disclosed years of hidden porn use. While he believes he’s walking in victory, I’m unsure how to distinguish true healing from another “purge” phase, given his past cycle. With new safeguards in place, how can I know if real heart change is happening—not just behavioral control? - I’m healing from betrayal in my marriage and making real progress, but I struggle deeply with attending church. Knowing how widespread porn use is—and seeing how the church often stays silent—leaves me angry and grieving. My husband’s unchecked sin in leadership broke my trust in the church. How do I reconnect with a spiritual community that now feels unsafe? - My husband has been in recovery from porn addiction for nearly three years and has faithfully attended a support group for over a decade. Now he feels ready to step back, saying he no longer needs it and wants more time with our family. While I understand, the idea of him not being in a group makes me uneasy. How do I know it’s truly safe for him to stop? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband and I are a few months into recovery after he disclosed years of hidden porn use. While he believes he’s walking in victory, I’m unsure how to distinguish true healing from another “purge” phase, given his past cycle. With new safeguards in place, how can I know if real heart change is happening—not just behavioral control? - I’m healing from betrayal in my marriage and making real progress, but I struggle deeply with attending church. Knowing how widespread porn use is—and seeing how the church often stays silent—leaves me angry and grieving. My husband’s unchecked sin in leadership broke my trust in the church. How do I reconnect with a spiritual community that now feels unsafe? - My husband has been in recovery from porn addiction for nearly three years and has faithfully attended a support group for over a decade. Now he feels ready to step back, saying he no longer needs it and wants more time with our family. While I understand, the idea of him not being in a group makes me uneasy. How do I know it’s truly safe for him to stop? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 69 b25aaad3-3c71-44f1-b153-85124eaed549 068 - The Brutality of Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I just finished Sexual Integrity 101 and want to join Betrayal & Beyond. There are no local groups and a 10-month virtual commitment feels impossible. My husband, a former pastor, abandoned me and our four kids after a devastating affair. I’m doing the work alone while he moves on. I feel forgotten. How do I heal when reconciliation isn’t an option? How do I help my kids heal when I feel so broken?
  • My husband has struggled with same-sex attraction and sexual acting out throughout our 30+ year marriage. Despite counseling and periods of change, he’s continued hiding his behavior. We've had almost no intimacy, and I’ve found overwhelming proof of his ongoing actions. I’m pursuing divorce, but I wonder—am I wrong to believe SSA is a separate issue that truly needs addressing?
  • We just went through disclosure. My husband confessed to fantasizing and masturbating to images of my best friends, my sister, and several women I know. My best friend whom he has had the most fantasy about is someone I do everything with. Our kids are best friends, our families do everything together, and now I am at a loss. Throughout this process my friends have been such a big support system and now I can't even share with them. Are these types of fantasies normal? I clearly can't trust him with the women who are closest to me.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Podcast on 'Edging'

Podcast w/ Andrea Rodgers

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> Tue, 9 Sep 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/068-the-brutality-of-betrayal-6UxeAAaN Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I just finished Sexual Integrity 101 and want to join Betrayal & Beyond. There are no local groups and a 10-month virtual commitment feels impossible. My husband, a former pastor, abandoned me and our four kids after a devastating affair. I’m doing the work alone while he moves on. I feel forgotten. How do I heal when reconciliation isn’t an option? How do I help my kids heal when I feel so broken?
  • My husband has struggled with same-sex attraction and sexual acting out throughout our 30+ year marriage. Despite counseling and periods of change, he’s continued hiding his behavior. We've had almost no intimacy, and I’ve found overwhelming proof of his ongoing actions. I’m pursuing divorce, but I wonder—am I wrong to believe SSA is a separate issue that truly needs addressing?
  • We just went through disclosure. My husband confessed to fantasizing and masturbating to images of my best friends, my sister, and several women I know. My best friend whom he has had the most fantasy about is someone I do everything with. Our kids are best friends, our families do everything together, and now I am at a loss. Throughout this process my friends have been such a big support system and now I can't even share with them. Are these types of fantasies normal? I clearly can't trust him with the women who are closest to me.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Podcast on 'Edging'

Podcast w/ Andrea Rodgers

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 068 - The Brutality of Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:54 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I just finished Sexual Integrity 101 and want to join Betrayal & Beyond. There are no local groups and a 10-month virtual commitment feels impossible. My husband, a former pastor, abandoned me and our four kids after a devastating affair. I’m doing the work alone while he moves on. I feel forgotten. How do I heal when reconciliation isn’t an option? How do I help my kids heal when I feel so broken? - My husband has struggled with same-sex attraction and sexual acting out throughout our 30+ year marriage. Despite counseling and periods of change, he’s continued hiding his behavior. We've had almost no intimacy, and I’ve found overwhelming proof of his ongoing actions. I’m pursuing divorce, but I wonder—am I wrong to believe SSA is a separate issue that truly needs addressing? - We just went through disclosure. My husband confessed to fantasizing and masturbating to images of my best friends, my sister, and several women I know. My best friend whom he has had the most fantasy about is someone I do everything with. Our kids are best friends, our families do everything together, and now I am at a loss. Throughout this process my friends have been such a big support system and now I can't even share with them. Are these types of fantasies normal? I clearly can't trust him with the women who are closest to me. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I just finished Sexual Integrity 101 and want to join Betrayal & Beyond. There are no local groups and a 10-month virtual commitment feels impossible. My husband, a former pastor, abandoned me and our four kids after a devastating affair. I’m doing the work alone while he moves on. I feel forgotten. How do I heal when reconciliation isn’t an option? How do I help my kids heal when I feel so broken? - My husband has struggled with same-sex attraction and sexual acting out throughout our 30+ year marriage. Despite counseling and periods of change, he’s continued hiding his behavior. We've had almost no intimacy, and I’ve found overwhelming proof of his ongoing actions. I’m pursuing divorce, but I wonder—am I wrong to believe SSA is a separate issue that truly needs addressing? - We just went through disclosure. My husband confessed to fantasizing and masturbating to images of my best friends, my sister, and several women I know. My best friend whom he has had the most fantasy about is someone I do everything with. Our kids are best friends, our families do everything together, and now I am at a loss. Throughout this process my friends have been such a big support system and now I can't even share with them. Are these types of fantasies normal? I clearly can't trust him with the women who are closest to me. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 68 c88ca01d-d47a-4b09-bbdd-dd88d92d9141 067 - Women in the Struggle: When Shame Won’t Let Go Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband makes me feel small and unwanted. I started fantasizing about the characters in one of my favorite shows. I find myself wishing I were married to a man like that. Whenever I’m not watching my show, I hate my reality and life, but I also do not want to get divorced. What should I do?

- How do I know if my struggle is just about sex, or if it's actually about something deeper, like needing love or validation?

- I’ve tried everything! I confess, read my Bible, have accountability software, pray without ceasing … can I ever break free from my porn addiction? Why do I keep going back to porn, even when I feel disgusted with myself afterward?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Love Addiction Evaluation

Unraveled 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 2 Sep 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/067-women-in-the-struggle-when-shame-wont-let-go-grZGYjfB Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband makes me feel small and unwanted. I started fantasizing about the characters in one of my favorite shows. I find myself wishing I were married to a man like that. Whenever I’m not watching my show, I hate my reality and life, but I also do not want to get divorced. What should I do?

- How do I know if my struggle is just about sex, or if it's actually about something deeper, like needing love or validation?

- I’ve tried everything! I confess, read my Bible, have accountability software, pray without ceasing … can I ever break free from my porn addiction? Why do I keep going back to porn, even when I feel disgusted with myself afterward?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Love Addiction Evaluation

Unraveled 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 067 - Women in the Struggle: When Shame Won’t Let Go Pure Desire Ministries 00:16:55 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband makes me feel small and unwanted. I started fantasizing about the characters in one of my favorite shows. I find myself wishing I were married to a man like that. Whenever I’m not watching my show, I hate my reality and life, but I also do not want to get divorced. What should I do? - How do I know if my struggle is just about sex, or if it's actually about something deeper, like needing love or validation? - I’ve tried everything! I confess, read my Bible, have accountability software, pray without ceasing … can I ever break free from my porn addiction? Why do I keep going back to porn, even when I feel disgusted with myself afterward? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband makes me feel small and unwanted. I started fantasizing about the characters in one of my favorite shows. I find myself wishing I were married to a man like that. Whenever I’m not watching my show, I hate my reality and life, but I also do not want to get divorced. What should I do? - How do I know if my struggle is just about sex, or if it's actually about something deeper, like needing love or validation? - I’ve tried everything! I confess, read my Bible, have accountability software, pray without ceasing … can I ever break free from my porn addiction? Why do I keep going back to porn, even when I feel disgusted with myself afterward? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 67 2c8f1b16-7b2b-4918-b39b-1dfc769a9fa2 066 - When Dating, is Finding a Sexually Healthy Spouse Possible? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m reentering dating after ending a relationship with a man who had unresolved pornography struggles and resisted accountability. Now seeking a God-honoring, healthy marriage, I’m wondering how to graciously approach conversations about sexual history and porn use when dating. What level of recovery should be present before considering a relationship safe and spiritually healthy?
  • My question is about dating someone who has disclosed that he has a porn and masturbation addiction. We are older and both divorced. He has been open and honest about it. He’s in counseling and wants victory. Part of me wants to run the other way and sever the relationship; part of me wants to wait and see what happens. Am I delusional to think the relationship could work?
  • It feels rare to find women who still practice abstinence, even among Christians. Many seem to be sexually active outside of marriage or already have children. With today’s culture and values shifting, especially among attractive women, I wonder—do women who value abstinence and wait for marriage still exist in this day and age? Where are they?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 26 Aug 2025 12:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/066-when-dating-is-finding-a-sexually-healthy-spouse-possible-07GWxTUM Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m reentering dating after ending a relationship with a man who had unresolved pornography struggles and resisted accountability. Now seeking a God-honoring, healthy marriage, I’m wondering how to graciously approach conversations about sexual history and porn use when dating. What level of recovery should be present before considering a relationship safe and spiritually healthy?
  • My question is about dating someone who has disclosed that he has a porn and masturbation addiction. We are older and both divorced. He has been open and honest about it. He’s in counseling and wants victory. Part of me wants to run the other way and sever the relationship; part of me wants to wait and see what happens. Am I delusional to think the relationship could work?
  • It feels rare to find women who still practice abstinence, even among Christians. Many seem to be sexually active outside of marriage or already have children. With today’s culture and values shifting, especially among attractive women, I wonder—do women who value abstinence and wait for marriage still exist in this day and age? Where are they?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 066 - When Dating, is Finding a Sexually Healthy Spouse Possible? Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:30 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I’m reentering dating after ending a relationship with a man who had unresolved pornography struggles and resisted accountability. Now seeking a God-honoring, healthy marriage, I’m wondering how to graciously approach conversations about sexual history and porn use when dating. What level of recovery should be present before considering a relationship safe and spiritually healthy? - My question is about dating someone who has disclosed that he has a porn and masturbation addiction. We are older and both divorced. He has been open and honest about it. He’s in counseling and wants victory. Part of me wants to run the other way and sever the relationship; part of me wants to wait and see what happens. Am I delusional to think the relationship could work? - It feels rare to find women who still practice abstinence, even among Christians. Many seem to be sexually active outside of marriage or already have children. With today’s culture and values shifting, especially among attractive women, I wonder—do women who value abstinence and wait for marriage still exist in this day and age? Where are they? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I’m reentering dating after ending a relationship with a man who had unresolved pornography struggles and resisted accountability. Now seeking a God-honoring, healthy marriage, I’m wondering how to graciously approach conversations about sexual history and porn use when dating. What level of recovery should be present before considering a relationship safe and spiritually healthy? - My question is about dating someone who has disclosed that he has a porn and masturbation addiction. We are older and both divorced. He has been open and honest about it. He’s in counseling and wants victory. Part of me wants to run the other way and sever the relationship; part of me wants to wait and see what happens. Am I delusional to think the relationship could work? - It feels rare to find women who still practice abstinence, even among Christians. Many seem to be sexually active outside of marriage or already have children. With today’s culture and values shifting, especially among attractive women, I wonder—do women who value abstinence and wait for marriage still exist in this day and age? Where are they? false full 66 5d1ff9d4-6977-4e4e-9d16-380dab0a17af 065 - Will I Ever Recover From Betrayal? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband confessed to porn, chat rooms, and video calls, but I’ve discovered more he hasn’t admitted. I’m now in a group and writing a Safety Action Plan, but how do you create one when trust is completely broken? If there are consequences, won’t he just hide relapses better? How do I protect myself when honesty feels impossible and I’m afraid to stay—or leave?

- Since D-Day last August, I’ve learned my husband was unfaithful throughout our 25+ year relationship—porn, affairs, sexting, even acting out on vacations and anniversaries. Though we’re in recovery groups, I feel like my entire life has been a lie. Every memory feels shattered. We haven’t told our friends and family. I feel trapped and alone. How do I move forward when even the good moments are so deeply tainted?

- Two years into our healing journey, I still struggle to feel safe with the man who betrayed me. Sex feels like sleeping with the enemy, and early on, he got support while I was left traumatized and alone. Disclosure came months after discovery, deepening the pain. I’m starting Betrayal & Beyond soon—how do I begin to feel secure and whole again?a

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Previous Episodes Mentioned:
Episode 25
Episode 34

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 19 Aug 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/065-will-i-ever-recover-from-betrayal-b_4eNr4Y Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband confessed to porn, chat rooms, and video calls, but I’ve discovered more he hasn’t admitted. I’m now in a group and writing a Safety Action Plan, but how do you create one when trust is completely broken? If there are consequences, won’t he just hide relapses better? How do I protect myself when honesty feels impossible and I’m afraid to stay—or leave?

- Since D-Day last August, I’ve learned my husband was unfaithful throughout our 25+ year relationship—porn, affairs, sexting, even acting out on vacations and anniversaries. Though we’re in recovery groups, I feel like my entire life has been a lie. Every memory feels shattered. We haven’t told our friends and family. I feel trapped and alone. How do I move forward when even the good moments are so deeply tainted?

- Two years into our healing journey, I still struggle to feel safe with the man who betrayed me. Sex feels like sleeping with the enemy, and early on, he got support while I was left traumatized and alone. Disclosure came months after discovery, deepening the pain. I’m starting Betrayal & Beyond soon—how do I begin to feel secure and whole again?a

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Previous Episodes Mentioned:
Episode 25
Episode 34

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 065 - Will I Ever Recover From Betrayal? Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:57 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband confessed to porn, chat rooms, and video calls, but I’ve discovered more he hasn’t admitted. I’m now in a group and writing a Safety Action Plan, but how do you create one when trust is completely broken? If there are consequences, won’t he just hide relapses better? How do I protect myself when honesty feels impossible and I’m afraid to stay—or leave? Since D-Day last August, I’ve learned my husband was unfaithful throughout our 25+ year relationship—porn, affairs, sexting, even acting out on vacations and anniversaries. Though we’re in recovery groups, I feel like my entire life has been a lie. Every memory feels shattered. We haven’t told our friends and family. I feel trapped and alone. How do I move forward when even the good moments are so deeply tainted? Two years into our healing journey, I still struggle to feel safe with the man who betrayed me. Sex feels like sleeping with the enemy, and early on, he got support while I was left traumatized and alone. Disclosure came months after discovery, deepening the pain. I’m starting Betrayal & Beyond soon—how do I begin to feel secure and whole again? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband confessed to porn, chat rooms, and video calls, but I’ve discovered more he hasn’t admitted. I’m now in a group and writing a Safety Action Plan, but how do you create one when trust is completely broken? If there are consequences, won’t he just hide relapses better? How do I protect myself when honesty feels impossible and I’m afraid to stay—or leave? Since D-Day last August, I’ve learned my husband was unfaithful throughout our 25+ year relationship—porn, affairs, sexting, even acting out on vacations and anniversaries. Though we’re in recovery groups, I feel like my entire life has been a lie. Every memory feels shattered. We haven’t told our friends and family. I feel trapped and alone. How do I move forward when even the good moments are so deeply tainted? Two years into our healing journey, I still struggle to feel safe with the man who betrayed me. Sex feels like sleeping with the enemy, and early on, he got support while I was left traumatized and alone. Disclosure came months after discovery, deepening the pain. I’m starting Betrayal & Beyond soon—how do I begin to feel secure and whole again? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 65 175375cd-c113-4e61-b814-e4dc0b6f11a6 064 - Sexual Wholeness When I Feel Like a Spiritual Mess Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I grew up in the church and always thought wanting sex, or enjoying it, made me less godly. Now I’m married, and feel so much confusion and guilt about what I should want. How has culture and religion shaped the way I view desire, and how do I know what’s actually true? Every time I try to explore my sexuality, I get hit with this wave of shame, like I’m doing something wrong. I want to be curious without feeling gross or guilty. How can I do that in a way that feels healthy and grounded?
  • I will try to apply the practice of 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” and do all the right things, but then I end up caving and going out with friends and hooking up with someone. I feel like a crazy person and a fraud. I can’t imagine if my church or family ever found out. Why are biblical truths not working for me? I feel like a terrible Christian because Jesus isn’t enough. Am I even saved?
  • I don’t know how I got here, but I now find myself struggling with porn and masturbation. It started with a TV series a friend recommended that had tons of sex scenes, and somehow led to me seeking out more through pornography. I can’t believe this “man’s struggle” is now something I can’t break free of. How can I tell my husband about my porn use without it blowing up?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Girl Talk

FASTER Scale

Crash Site Analysis Podcast Episode

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 12 Aug 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/064-sexual-wholeness-when-i-feel-like-a-spiritual-mess-KrSSjcNX Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I grew up in the church and always thought wanting sex, or enjoying it, made me less godly. Now I’m married, and feel so much confusion and guilt about what I should want. How has culture and religion shaped the way I view desire, and how do I know what’s actually true? Every time I try to explore my sexuality, I get hit with this wave of shame, like I’m doing something wrong. I want to be curious without feeling gross or guilty. How can I do that in a way that feels healthy and grounded?
  • I will try to apply the practice of 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” and do all the right things, but then I end up caving and going out with friends and hooking up with someone. I feel like a crazy person and a fraud. I can’t imagine if my church or family ever found out. Why are biblical truths not working for me? I feel like a terrible Christian because Jesus isn’t enough. Am I even saved?
  • I don’t know how I got here, but I now find myself struggling with porn and masturbation. It started with a TV series a friend recommended that had tons of sex scenes, and somehow led to me seeking out more through pornography. I can’t believe this “man’s struggle” is now something I can’t break free of. How can I tell my husband about my porn use without it blowing up?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Girl Talk

FASTER Scale

Crash Site Analysis Podcast Episode

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 064 - Sexual Wholeness When I Feel Like a Spiritual Mess Pure Desire Ministries 00:22:11 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I grew up in the church and always thought wanting sex, or enjoying it, made me less godly. Now I’m married, and feel so much confusion and guilt about what I should want. How has culture and religion shaped the way I view desire, and how do I know what’s actually true? Every time I try to explore my sexuality, I get hit with this wave of shame, like I’m doing something wrong. I want to be curious without feeling gross or guilty. How can I do that in a way that feels healthy and grounded? I will try to apply the practice of 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” and do all the right things, but then I end up caving and going out with friends and hooking up with someone. I feel like a crazy person and a fraud. I can’t imagine if my church or family ever found out. Why are biblical truths not working for me? I feel like a terrible Christian because Jesus isn’t enough. Am I even saved? I don’t know how I got here, but I now find myself struggling with porn and masturbation. It started with a TV series a friend recommended that had tons of sex scenes, and somehow led to me seeking out more through pornography. I can’t believe this “man’s struggle” is now something I can’t break free of. How can I tell my husband about my porn use without it blowing up? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I grew up in the church and always thought wanting sex, or enjoying it, made me less godly. Now I’m married, and feel so much confusion and guilt about what I should want. How has culture and religion shaped the way I view desire, and how do I know what’s actually true? Every time I try to explore my sexuality, I get hit with this wave of shame, like I’m doing something wrong. I want to be curious without feeling gross or guilty. How can I do that in a way that feels healthy and grounded? I will try to apply the practice of 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,” and do all the right things, but then I end up caving and going out with friends and hooking up with someone. I feel like a crazy person and a fraud. I can’t imagine if my church or family ever found out. Why are biblical truths not working for me? I feel like a terrible Christian because Jesus isn’t enough. Am I even saved? I don’t know how I got here, but I now find myself struggling with porn and masturbation. It started with a TV series a friend recommended that had tons of sex scenes, and somehow led to me seeking out more through pornography. I can’t believe this “man’s struggle” is now something I can’t break free of. How can I tell my husband about my porn use without it blowing up? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 64 2eeeb281-d431-449f-8e50-6f7337137f14 063 - The Lasting Effects of Betrayal Trauma Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband is making great progress in his recovery, attending group sessions and trauma counseling, but I’m struggling to catch up. I’ve had trouble finding a counselor and don’t have a group, though we both attended an intensive. He sometimes dismisses my concerns, like he did with his mom, and it’s making me hesitant about a trip we have planned. Should I push through and go, or is it okay to honor my feelings and hesitation?
  • My husband denies being addicted to pornography, despite struggling with it since he was 17. Although he’s made progress, I feel like we’re stuck in a cycle where he’s unable to handle my pain because of his own. We’ve tried counseling, but he often complains, and we can’t seem to talk about past issues without him getting angry or emotionally distant. I’m tired of accommodating without change, and I feel alone in my pain. What can I do to break this cycle and deepen our emotional connection?
  • My husband is doing well in recovery, but I’m struggling to move forward. It’s been almost three years since d-day, and while he’s committed to change, I can’t shake the fear of being hurt again. I don’t know if I love him anymore and worry that staying might worsen my health. Should I keep trying, or is it time to let go for my own well-being?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Gaslighting Episode

Gaslighting PD Podcast Episode

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 5 Aug 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/063-the-lasting-effects-of-betrayal-trauma-2l22FfNi Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband is making great progress in his recovery, attending group sessions and trauma counseling, but I’m struggling to catch up. I’ve had trouble finding a counselor and don’t have a group, though we both attended an intensive. He sometimes dismisses my concerns, like he did with his mom, and it’s making me hesitant about a trip we have planned. Should I push through and go, or is it okay to honor my feelings and hesitation?
  • My husband denies being addicted to pornography, despite struggling with it since he was 17. Although he’s made progress, I feel like we’re stuck in a cycle where he’s unable to handle my pain because of his own. We’ve tried counseling, but he often complains, and we can’t seem to talk about past issues without him getting angry or emotionally distant. I’m tired of accommodating without change, and I feel alone in my pain. What can I do to break this cycle and deepen our emotional connection?
  • My husband is doing well in recovery, but I’m struggling to move forward. It’s been almost three years since d-day, and while he’s committed to change, I can’t shake the fear of being hurt again. I don’t know if I love him anymore and worry that staying might worsen my health. Should I keep trying, or is it time to let go for my own well-being?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Gaslighting Episode

Gaslighting PD Podcast Episode

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 063 - The Lasting Effects of Betrayal Trauma Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:20 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband is making great progress in his recovery, attending group sessions and trauma counseling, but I’m struggling to catch up. I’ve had trouble finding a counselor and don’t have a group, though we both attended an intensive. He sometimes dismisses my concerns, like he did with his mom, and it’s making me hesitant about a trip we have planned. Should I push through and go, or is it okay to honor my feelings and hesitation? - My husband denies being addicted to pornography, despite struggling with it since he was 17. Although he’s made progress, I feel like we’re stuck in a cycle where he’s unable to handle my pain because of his own. We’ve tried counseling, but he often complains, and we can’t seem to talk about past issues without him getting angry or emotionally distant. I’m tired of accommodating without change, and I feel alone in my pain. What can I do to break this cycle and deepen our emotional connection? - My husband is doing well in recovery, but I’m struggling to move forward. It’s been almost three years since d-day, and while he’s committed to change, I can’t shake the fear of being hurt again. I don’t know if I love him anymore and worry that staying might worsen my health. Should I keep trying, or is it time to let go for my own well-being? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband is making great progress in his recovery, attending group sessions and trauma counseling, but I’m struggling to catch up. I’ve had trouble finding a counselor and don’t have a group, though we both attended an intensive. He sometimes dismisses my concerns, like he did with his mom, and it’s making me hesitant about a trip we have planned. Should I push through and go, or is it okay to honor my feelings and hesitation? - My husband denies being addicted to pornography, despite struggling with it since he was 17. Although he’s made progress, I feel like we’re stuck in a cycle where he’s unable to handle my pain because of his own. We’ve tried counseling, but he often complains, and we can’t seem to talk about past issues without him getting angry or emotionally distant. I’m tired of accommodating without change, and I feel alone in my pain. What can I do to break this cycle and deepen our emotional connection? - My husband is doing well in recovery, but I’m struggling to move forward. It’s been almost three years since d-day, and while he’s committed to change, I can’t shake the fear of being hurt again. I don’t know if I love him anymore and worry that staying might worsen my health. Should I keep trying, or is it time to let go for my own well-being? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 63 6b9b2267-dc0b-4006-b99c-9e392c43a3fb 062 - Finding the Hard Answers to Healing & Recovery If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My group was excruciating tonight—hearing others’ victories while I’m drowning in pain felt unbearable. I’m exhausted from picking myself back up after every setback, asking why healing comes easily for some but not for us. I know God has a plan, but it still hurts. What should I do when group becomes too painful—should I push through, even when my heart isn't in it? 
  • I have a question for you in regard to rebuilding intimacy and trust. My husband has involved himself in behaviors that I find repulsive. He has apparently spent time at home wearing my under clothes for arousal, he has masturbated and interacted with our cat during those times, and also taken pictures of himself in his boxers on and sends that to hook up sites. I find these activities gross and disgusting—they are triggers to my being intimate with him. How do I overcome this?
  • Last October, my husband confessed to years of porn use, shattering me emotionally and worsening my physical health. Since then, I’ve battled fear, grief, insecurity, and disconnection from myself and my role as a mom. He’s six months sober, but I feel broken and alone without a support group. Will this fear and pain ever pass—and how can I stop living in constant emotional defense?

Resources:

Why Do I Need Group When It's Not My Fault - Blog

7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 29 Jul 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/062-finding-the-hard-answers-to-healing-recovery-6pVHUNrX If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My group was excruciating tonight—hearing others’ victories while I’m drowning in pain felt unbearable. I’m exhausted from picking myself back up after every setback, asking why healing comes easily for some but not for us. I know God has a plan, but it still hurts. What should I do when group becomes too painful—should I push through, even when my heart isn't in it? 
  • I have a question for you in regard to rebuilding intimacy and trust. My husband has involved himself in behaviors that I find repulsive. He has apparently spent time at home wearing my under clothes for arousal, he has masturbated and interacted with our cat during those times, and also taken pictures of himself in his boxers on and sends that to hook up sites. I find these activities gross and disgusting—they are triggers to my being intimate with him. How do I overcome this?
  • Last October, my husband confessed to years of porn use, shattering me emotionally and worsening my physical health. Since then, I’ve battled fear, grief, insecurity, and disconnection from myself and my role as a mom. He’s six months sober, but I feel broken and alone without a support group. Will this fear and pain ever pass—and how can I stop living in constant emotional defense?

Resources:

Why Do I Need Group When It's Not My Fault - Blog

7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 062 - Finding the Hard Answers to Healing & Recovery Pure Desire Ministries 00:13:26 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My group was excruciating tonight—hearing others’ victories while I’m drowning in pain felt unbearable. I’m exhausted from picking myself back up after every setback, asking why healing comes easily for some but not for us. I know God has a plan, but it still hurts. What should I do when group becomes too painful—should I push through, even when my heart isn't in it? I have a question for you in regard to rebuilding intimacy and trust. My husband has involved himself in behaviors that I find repulsive. He has apparently spent time at home wearing my under clothes for arousal, he has masturbated and interacted with our cat during those times, and also taken pictures of himself in his boxers on and sends that to hook up sites. I find these activities gross and disgusting—they are triggers to my being intimate with him. How do I overcome this? Last October, my husband confessed to years of porn use, shattering me emotionally and worsening my physical health. Since then, I’ve battled fear, grief, insecurity, and disconnection from myself and my role as a mom. He’s six months sober, but I feel broken and alone without a support group. Will this fear and pain ever pass—and how can I stop living in constant emotional defense? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My group was excruciating tonight—hearing others’ victories while I’m drowning in pain felt unbearable. I’m exhausted from picking myself back up after every setback, asking why healing comes easily for some but not for us. I know God has a plan, but it still hurts. What should I do when group becomes too painful—should I push through, even when my heart isn't in it? I have a question for you in regard to rebuilding intimacy and trust. My husband has involved himself in behaviors that I find repulsive. He has apparently spent time at home wearing my under clothes for arousal, he has masturbated and interacted with our cat during those times, and also taken pictures of himself in his boxers on and sends that to hook up sites. I find these activities gross and disgusting—they are triggers to my being intimate with him. How do I overcome this? Last October, my husband confessed to years of porn use, shattering me emotionally and worsening my physical health. Since then, I’ve battled fear, grief, insecurity, and disconnection from myself and my role as a mom. He’s six months sober, but I feel broken and alone without a support group. Will this fear and pain ever pass—and how can I stop living in constant emotional defense? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 62 4fee1cb7-b17b-4505-8bdf-87003e967cf5 061 - Finding the Support You Need for Healing Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • In the new edition of Betrayal & Beyond you took out the part about "forgiving yourself." I am happy you did because I don't agree with that concept. I believe in God's forgiveness, but I wonder why you decided to take that part out of the new edition?
  • Each time my husband relapses, I feel completely lost—especially now, four years in, after his first relapse in a long time. The longer the gap, the more painful it is, because I start to feel safe again. Could you create an episode I can return to during a relapse—something grounding, calming, and full of direction when I can't think clearly?
  • I live in a small town with limited support and feel stuck in my healing. After nearly a year of counseling—and no full disclosure—I’m still facing lies and secrecy in my marriage. My husband refuses individual counseling, and our marriage counseling ended. I’ve considered separation or divorce. What resources or next steps would you suggest for someone in my situation, especially regarding boundaries?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org
We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Episode 239

Episode 276

Episode 370

Episode 388

Andrea Rogers | Suddenly Single

Kim Petroni

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 22 Jul 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/061-finding-the-support-you-need-for-healing-Vz3oYGrP Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • In the new edition of Betrayal & Beyond you took out the part about "forgiving yourself." I am happy you did because I don't agree with that concept. I believe in God's forgiveness, but I wonder why you decided to take that part out of the new edition?
  • Each time my husband relapses, I feel completely lost—especially now, four years in, after his first relapse in a long time. The longer the gap, the more painful it is, because I start to feel safe again. Could you create an episode I can return to during a relapse—something grounding, calming, and full of direction when I can't think clearly?
  • I live in a small town with limited support and feel stuck in my healing. After nearly a year of counseling—and no full disclosure—I’m still facing lies and secrecy in my marriage. My husband refuses individual counseling, and our marriage counseling ended. I’ve considered separation or divorce. What resources or next steps would you suggest for someone in my situation, especially regarding boundaries?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org
We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources:

Episode 239

Episode 276

Episode 370

Episode 388

Andrea Rogers | Suddenly Single

Kim Petroni

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 061 - Finding the Support You Need for Healing Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:37 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: In the new edition of Betrayal & Beyond you took out the part about "forgiving yourself." I am happy you did because I don't agree with that concept. I believe in God's forgiveness, but I wonder why you decided to take that part out of the new edition? Each time my husband relapses, I feel completely lost—especially now, four years in, after his first relapse in a long time. The longer the gap, the more painful it is, because I start to feel safe again. Could you create an episode I can return to during a relapse—something grounding, calming, and full of direction when I can't think clearly? I live in a small town with limited support and feel stuck in my healing. After nearly a year of counseling—and no full disclosure—I’m still facing lies and secrecy in my marriage. My husband refuses individual counseling, and our marriage counseling ended. I’ve considered separation or divorce. What resources or next steps would you suggest for someone in my situation, especially regarding boundaries? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: In the new edition of Betrayal & Beyond you took out the part about "forgiving yourself." I am happy you did because I don't agree with that concept. I believe in God's forgiveness, but I wonder why you decided to take that part out of the new edition? Each time my husband relapses, I feel completely lost—especially now, four years in, after his first relapse in a long time. The longer the gap, the more painful it is, because I start to feel safe again. Could you create an episode I can return to during a relapse—something grounding, calming, and full of direction when I can't think clearly? I live in a small town with limited support and feel stuck in my healing. After nearly a year of counseling—and no full disclosure—I’m still facing lies and secrecy in my marriage. My husband refuses individual counseling, and our marriage counseling ended. I’ve considered separation or divorce. What resources or next steps would you suggest for someone in my situation, especially regarding boundaries? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 61 622fed00-c4fc-4768-aba0-2d4d1e16fb29 060 - How Addiction Recovery Impacts Relationships If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

 

  • As my husband and I walk through recovery—he’s in Seven Pillars, I’m in Betrayal & Beyond—I’m nearing the end of my group and preparing for full disclosure. I wish there were clear resources to help our Christian parents, including my retired pastor father-in-law, understand sex addiction and how to support us. Could you create an episode specifically for parents of adult children in recovery?
  • I'm navigating a delicate situation with my 16-year-old daughter and a male youth group leader. He has been texting her personal prayers and has crossed boundaries, despite our requests for him to stop. My concern is whether this relationship is appropriate, as it feels like he’s overstepping. We're meeting with him and church leadership soon, and I’m wondering what questions to ask and how to handle this in a God-honoring way. I'm also healing from my own betrayal trauma and struggling with how to approach this situation without letting past wounds cloud my judgment. Would love any advice.
  • My husband and I are celebrating 25 years in August, but my recovery has been a rollercoaster since discovering his porn addiction 15 months ago. We’ve planned an anniversary trip, but I’m struggling to book it. Part of me thinks it could be healing, but I’m afraid it might end up being a painful reminder. How long into recovery is it safe to take an extended vacation?

Resources:

Girl Talk

SI 101

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

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]]> Tue, 15 Jul 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/060-how-addiction-recovery-impacts-relationships-zy09Pzcg If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

 

  • As my husband and I walk through recovery—he’s in Seven Pillars, I’m in Betrayal & Beyond—I’m nearing the end of my group and preparing for full disclosure. I wish there were clear resources to help our Christian parents, including my retired pastor father-in-law, understand sex addiction and how to support us. Could you create an episode specifically for parents of adult children in recovery?
  • I'm navigating a delicate situation with my 16-year-old daughter and a male youth group leader. He has been texting her personal prayers and has crossed boundaries, despite our requests for him to stop. My concern is whether this relationship is appropriate, as it feels like he’s overstepping. We're meeting with him and church leadership soon, and I’m wondering what questions to ask and how to handle this in a God-honoring way. I'm also healing from my own betrayal trauma and struggling with how to approach this situation without letting past wounds cloud my judgment. Would love any advice.
  • My husband and I are celebrating 25 years in August, but my recovery has been a rollercoaster since discovering his porn addiction 15 months ago. We’ve planned an anniversary trip, but I’m struggling to book it. Part of me thinks it could be healing, but I’m afraid it might end up being a painful reminder. How long into recovery is it safe to take an extended vacation?

Resources:

Girl Talk

SI 101

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> 060 - How Addiction Recovery Impacts Relationships Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:10 If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - As my husband and I walk through recovery—he’s in Seven Pillars, I’m in Betrayal & Beyond—I’m nearing the end of my group and preparing for full disclosure. I wish there were clear resources to help our Christian parents, including my retired pastor father-in-law, understand sex addiction and how to support us. Could you create an episode specifically for parents of adult children in recovery? - I'm navigating a delicate situation with my 16-year-old daughter and a male youth group leader. He has been texting her personal prayers and has crossed boundaries, despite our requests for him to stop. My concern is whether this relationship is appropriate, as it feels like he’s overstepping. We're meeting with him and church leadership soon, and I’m wondering what questions to ask and how to handle this in a God-honoring way. I'm also healing from my own betrayal trauma and struggling with how to approach this situation without letting past wounds cloud my judgment. Would love any advice. - My husband and I are celebrating 25 years in August, but my recovery has been a rollercoaster since discovering his porn addiction 15 months ago. We’ve planned an anniversary trip, but I’m struggling to book it. Part of me thinks it could be healing, but I’m afraid it might end up being a painful reminder. How long into recovery is it safe to take an extended vacation? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - As my husband and I walk through recovery—he’s in Seven Pillars, I’m in Betrayal & Beyond—I’m nearing the end of my group and preparing for full disclosure. I wish there were clear resources to help our Christian parents, including my retired pastor father-in-law, understand sex addiction and how to support us. Could you create an episode specifically for parents of adult children in recovery? - I'm navigating a delicate situation with my 16-year-old daughter and a male youth group leader. He has been texting her personal prayers and has crossed boundaries, despite our requests for him to stop. My concern is whether this relationship is appropriate, as it feels like he’s overstepping. We're meeting with him and church leadership soon, and I’m wondering what questions to ask and how to handle this in a God-honoring way. I'm also healing from my own betrayal trauma and struggling with how to approach this situation without letting past wounds cloud my judgment. Would love any advice. - My husband and I are celebrating 25 years in August, but my recovery has been a rollercoaster since discovering his porn addiction 15 months ago. We’ve planned an anniversary trip, but I’m struggling to book it. Part of me thinks it could be healing, but I’m afraid it might end up being a painful reminder. How long into recovery is it safe to take an extended vacation? false full 60 69a72b9e-df28-4f07-8ce5-8bd8c6496ebc 059 - Masturbation, Sexual Health, & Singleness Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m 26, single, and struggling with porn addiction. While I have filters in place, I’ve turned to sexually explicit romance books as a substitute. It feels less harmful since the characters aren't real, but I know it still impacts me. Can reading these books damage my future relationships, or will marriage truly make the cravings disappear?  
  • I'm 46, still single, and always thought I’d be married by now. Over the years, I’ve felt disappointed, but that hasn’t stopped my natural sexual desire. Learning about my body through self-pleasure has helped me grow in confidence and body acceptance. Is it okay to self-pleasure while waiting for a future partner, and can it actually prepare me for a healthy sex life in marriage?
  • I'm in my 40s, and don't struggle with fantasy, however, in the last year I have noticed that I'm struggling with masturbating at specific times of the month. It seems like this is related to hormonal changes. Even though I'm not thinking about anything specific or watching anything inappropriate, I still get filled with shame when I lose the battle. What should I do?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 8 Jul 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/059-masturbation-sexual-health-singleness-YXBGYZcF Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m 26, single, and struggling with porn addiction. While I have filters in place, I’ve turned to sexually explicit romance books as a substitute. It feels less harmful since the characters aren't real, but I know it still impacts me. Can reading these books damage my future relationships, or will marriage truly make the cravings disappear?  
  • I'm 46, still single, and always thought I’d be married by now. Over the years, I’ve felt disappointed, but that hasn’t stopped my natural sexual desire. Learning about my body through self-pleasure has helped me grow in confidence and body acceptance. Is it okay to self-pleasure while waiting for a future partner, and can it actually prepare me for a healthy sex life in marriage?
  • I'm in my 40s, and don't struggle with fantasy, however, in the last year I have noticed that I'm struggling with masturbating at specific times of the month. It seems like this is related to hormonal changes. Even though I'm not thinking about anything specific or watching anything inappropriate, I still get filled with shame when I lose the battle. What should I do?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 059 - Masturbation, Sexual Health, & Singleness Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:15 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’m 26, single, and struggling with porn addiction. While I have filters in place, I’ve turned to sexually explicit romance books as a substitute. It feels less harmful since the characters aren't real, but I know it still impacts me. Can reading these books damage my future relationships, or will marriage truly make the cravings disappear? I'm 46, still single, and always thought I’d be married by now. Over the years, I’ve felt disappointed, but that hasn’t stopped my natural sexual desire. Learning about my body through self-pleasure has helped me grow in confidence and body acceptance. Is it okay to self-pleasure while waiting for a future partner, and can it actually prepare me for a healthy sex life in marriage? I'm in my 40s, and don't struggle with fantasy, however, in the last year I have noticed that I'm struggling with masturbating at specific times of the month. It seems like this is related to hormonal changes. Even though I'm not thinking about anything specific or watching anything inappropriate, I still get filled with shame when I lose the battle. What should I do? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’m 26, single, and struggling with porn addiction. While I have filters in place, I’ve turned to sexually explicit romance books as a substitute. It feels less harmful since the characters aren't real, but I know it still impacts me. Can reading these books damage my future relationships, or will marriage truly make the cravings disappear? I'm 46, still single, and always thought I’d be married by now. Over the years, I’ve felt disappointed, but that hasn’t stopped my natural sexual desire. Learning about my body through self-pleasure has helped me grow in confidence and body acceptance. Is it okay to self-pleasure while waiting for a future partner, and can it actually prepare me for a healthy sex life in marriage? I'm in my 40s, and don't struggle with fantasy, however, in the last year I have noticed that I'm struggling with masturbating at specific times of the month. It seems like this is related to hormonal changes. Even though I'm not thinking about anything specific or watching anything inappropriate, I still get filled with shame when I lose the battle. What should I do? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 59 9b324a91-10d6-4442-94bb-a518de391537 058 - When Recovery & Healing Seem Impossible Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • During our full disclosure, my husband confessed to having fantasies about my young adult daughter. She is his step-daughter and he did not raise her. He then confessed that he is aroused by most developed females. I suppose my question is this: is there really hope that his arousal template can change and our marriage can survive and thrive? I am scared to stay in this marriage and circle the drain for years. I am scared I will never feel safe around any other females, including my own daughter. 
  • After years of struggling, including a particularly destructive 2023–2024, my husband claims to have maintained five months of sobriety following a brief relapse. Yet he’s not active in a men’s group or recovery program and only recently resumed counseling. Can long-term sobriety truly begin without consistent support, especially after a lifetime of addiction and minimal accountability?
  • I struggle with unmet expectations after years of addiction and my own enabling. My husband’s emotional affair lasted months, with multiple other women involved. He now says he wants change—for himself—and is more present with our kids. But I’m exhausted doing the work alone while he remains passive in recovery. Am I asking too much to want true partnership and understanding in this healing process?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 1 Jul 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/058-when-recovery-healing-seem-impossible-DUnC4Yp6 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • During our full disclosure, my husband confessed to having fantasies about my young adult daughter. She is his step-daughter and he did not raise her. He then confessed that he is aroused by most developed females. I suppose my question is this: is there really hope that his arousal template can change and our marriage can survive and thrive? I am scared to stay in this marriage and circle the drain for years. I am scared I will never feel safe around any other females, including my own daughter. 
  • After years of struggling, including a particularly destructive 2023–2024, my husband claims to have maintained five months of sobriety following a brief relapse. Yet he’s not active in a men’s group or recovery program and only recently resumed counseling. Can long-term sobriety truly begin without consistent support, especially after a lifetime of addiction and minimal accountability?
  • I struggle with unmet expectations after years of addiction and my own enabling. My husband’s emotional affair lasted months, with multiple other women involved. He now says he wants change—for himself—and is more present with our kids. But I’m exhausted doing the work alone while he remains passive in recovery. Am I asking too much to want true partnership and understanding in this healing process?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 058 - When Recovery & Healing Seem Impossible Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:31 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - During our full disclosure, my husband confessed to having fantasies about my young adult daughter. She is his step-daughter and he did not raise her. He then confessed that he is aroused by most developed females. I suppose my question is this: is there really hope that his arousal template can change and our marriage can survive and thrive? I am scared to stay in this marriage and circle the drain for years. I am scared I will never feel safe around any other females, including my own daughter. - After years of struggling, including a particularly destructive 2023–2024, my husband claims to have maintained five months of sobriety following a brief relapse. Yet he’s not active in a men’s group or recovery program and only recently resumed counseling. Can long-term sobriety truly begin without consistent support, especially after a lifetime of addiction and minimal accountability? - I struggle with unmet expectations after years of addiction and my own enabling. My husband’s emotional affair lasted months, with multiple other women involved. He now says he wants change—for himself—and is more present with our kids. But I’m exhausted doing the work alone while he remains passive in recovery. Am I asking too much to want true partnership and understanding in this healing process? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - During our full disclosure, my husband confessed to having fantasies about my young adult daughter. She is his step-daughter and he did not raise her. He then confessed that he is aroused by most developed females. I suppose my question is this: is there really hope that his arousal template can change and our marriage can survive and thrive? I am scared to stay in this marriage and circle the drain for years. I am scared I will never feel safe around any other females, including my own daughter. - After years of struggling, including a particularly destructive 2023–2024, my husband claims to have maintained five months of sobriety following a brief relapse. Yet he’s not active in a men’s group or recovery program and only recently resumed counseling. Can long-term sobriety truly begin without consistent support, especially after a lifetime of addiction and minimal accountability? - I struggle with unmet expectations after years of addiction and my own enabling. My husband’s emotional affair lasted months, with multiple other women involved. He now says he wants change—for himself—and is more present with our kids. But I’m exhausted doing the work alone while he remains passive in recovery. Am I asking too much to want true partnership and understanding in this healing process? false full 58 e02da1dd-9485-4c7e-b12c-5133fc625e2c 057 - Communication, Spiritual Bypass, & Self-Esteem Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • How does one communicate needs in a marriage when one partner is stuck in the shame spiral of addiction? My husband gets defensive when I express my needs, which deepens my emotional wounds. How can I safely share my feelings and build trust and intimacy when he reacts this way?
  • Could you talk more about spiritual bypass? It seems like people sometimes use faith or spiritual practices to avoid addressing deeper emotional or relational issues. How can we recognize spiritual bypassing, and how can it be harmful to personal healing or relationships? I’d love to hear more on this topic.
  • I would like to hear more about self-esteem or self-love in healing. For the betrayed partner, working on self-esteem has been foundational to my healing and my husband's. Yet, church and Christian writers often reject the concept, especially in women's ministry. Why is there fear of elevating oneself in this context?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org

We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 24 Jun 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/057-communication-spiritual-bypass-self-esteem-a8BBrRmW Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • How does one communicate needs in a marriage when one partner is stuck in the shame spiral of addiction? My husband gets defensive when I express my needs, which deepens my emotional wounds. How can I safely share my feelings and build trust and intimacy when he reacts this way?
  • Could you talk more about spiritual bypass? It seems like people sometimes use faith or spiritual practices to avoid addressing deeper emotional or relational issues. How can we recognize spiritual bypassing, and how can it be harmful to personal healing or relationships? I’d love to hear more on this topic.
  • I would like to hear more about self-esteem or self-love in healing. For the betrayed partner, working on self-esteem has been foundational to my healing and my husband's. Yet, church and Christian writers often reject the concept, especially in women's ministry. Why is there fear of elevating oneself in this context?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org

We can’t wait to hear from you!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 057 - Communication, Spiritual Bypass, & Self-Esteem Pure Desire Ministries 00:24:27 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - How does one communicate needs in a marriage when one partner is stuck in the shame spiral of addiction? My husband gets defensive when I express my needs, which deepens my emotional wounds. How can I safely share my feelings and build trust and intimacy when he reacts this way? - Could you talk more about spiritual bypass? It seems like people sometimes use faith or spiritual practices to avoid addressing deeper emotional or relational issues. How can we recognize spiritual bypassing, and how can it be harmful to personal healing or relationships? I’d love to hear more on this topic. - I would like to hear more about self-esteem or self-love in healing. For the betrayed partner, working on self-esteem has been foundational to my healing and my husband's. Yet, church and Christian writers often reject the concept, especially in women's ministry. Why is there fear of elevating oneself in this context? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - How does one communicate needs in a marriage when one partner is stuck in the shame spiral of addiction? My husband gets defensive when I express my needs, which deepens my emotional wounds. How can I safely share my feelings and build trust and intimacy when he reacts this way? - Could you talk more about spiritual bypass? It seems like people sometimes use faith or spiritual practices to avoid addressing deeper emotional or relational issues. How can we recognize spiritual bypassing, and how can it be harmful to personal healing or relationships? I’d love to hear more on this topic. - I would like to hear more about self-esteem or self-love in healing. For the betrayed partner, working on self-esteem has been foundational to my healing and my husband's. Yet, church and Christian writers often reject the concept, especially in women's ministry. Why is there fear of elevating oneself in this context? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 57 f29c0d91-646d-4bdd-834e-1d17ab7a2ffa 056 - Navigating Passion, Sex, & Physical Touch Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Our sex life confuses me. My husband expects me to engage instantly, even after disconnection, yet refuses intimacy unless I’m fully enthusiastic. I’m willing, even when not interested, but he won’t proceed unless I’m all in. We feel like we live separate lives—could that be affecting our intimacy?
  • My sex-addicted husband won’t have sex, even after 5 months sober. He avoids it, can't perform without porn or escorts, and even Viagra isn’t reliable. I try, I’m willing, but he pulls away. What now? Will we just become roommates? Can he heal? Do I accept a sexless marriage?
  • Could you discuss how to navigate touch in a relationship after betrayal? My husband, currently separated and sleeping on the couch, doesn’t understand why I can’t stand being touched—even a hug. His touch feels like “taking” from me, and I feel gross when I don’t desire it. How can we address this?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 17 Jun 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/056-navigating-passion-sex-physical-touch-XSSXmcoY Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Our sex life confuses me. My husband expects me to engage instantly, even after disconnection, yet refuses intimacy unless I’m fully enthusiastic. I’m willing, even when not interested, but he won’t proceed unless I’m all in. We feel like we live separate lives—could that be affecting our intimacy?
  • My sex-addicted husband won’t have sex, even after 5 months sober. He avoids it, can't perform without porn or escorts, and even Viagra isn’t reliable. I try, I’m willing, but he pulls away. What now? Will we just become roommates? Can he heal? Do I accept a sexless marriage?
  • Could you discuss how to navigate touch in a relationship after betrayal? My husband, currently separated and sleeping on the couch, doesn’t understand why I can’t stand being touched—even a hug. His touch feels like “taking” from me, and I feel gross when I don’t desire it. How can we address this?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at  unfiltered@puredesire.org

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 056 - Navigating Passion, Sex, & Physical Touch Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:23 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - Our sex life confuses me. My husband expects me to engage instantly, even after disconnection, yet refuses intimacy unless I’m fully enthusiastic. I’m willing, even when not interested, but he won’t proceed unless I’m all in. We feel like we live separate lives—could that be affecting our intimacy? - My sex-addicted husband won’t have sex, even after 5 months sober. He avoids it, can't perform without porn or escorts, and even Viagra isn’t reliable. I try, I’m willing, but he pulls away. What now? Will we just become roommates? Can he heal? Do I accept a sexless marriage? - Could you discuss how to navigate touch in a relationship after betrayal? My husband, currently separated and sleeping on the couch, doesn’t understand why I can’t stand being touched—even a hug. His touch feels like “taking” from me, and I feel gross when I don’t desire it. How can we address this? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.orga Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - Our sex life confuses me. My husband expects me to engage instantly, even after disconnection, yet refuses intimacy unless I’m fully enthusiastic. I’m willing, even when not interested, but he won’t proceed unless I’m all in. We feel like we live separate lives—could that be affecting our intimacy? - My sex-addicted husband won’t have sex, even after 5 months sober. He avoids it, can't perform without porn or escorts, and even Viagra isn’t reliable. I try, I’m willing, but he pulls away. What now? Will we just become roommates? Can he heal? Do I accept a sexless marriage? - Could you discuss how to navigate touch in a relationship after betrayal? My husband, currently separated and sleeping on the couch, doesn’t understand why I can’t stand being touched—even a hug. His touch feels like “taking” from me, and I feel gross when I don’t desire it. How can we address this? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.orga false full 56 76cf83b3-72c5-45ca-aaa4-649fa6ec5561 055 - What to Do After Decades of Betrayal If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • After 29 years, my husband had an affair, quit his job, filed for divorce, and left—refusing counseling or reconciliation. I still love him and believe in restoration, but he’s enamored with someone else. Am I pitiful for hoping? How do I find peace when my ex husband shows no remorse?
  • I’m at the end of my rope. After 37 years of porn use, my husband is only in Seven Pillars because I gave an ultimatum. He shows no real desire to change. How is Betrayal & Beyond helpful when there’s no true repentance? Are these resources only for willing spouses?
  • After 42 years of marriage, my husband changed after retirement. We stopped having sex early, and he turned to porn. Now, he lies, denies, and gaslights me, even after attending groups. At 76, I wonder if he truly wants change. Should I stay or separate? Any advice?

Resources:

PD Podcast w/ Andrea Rogers

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Tue, 10 Jun 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/055-what-to-do-after-decades-of-betrayal-3Lb8L9nG If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • After 29 years, my husband had an affair, quit his job, filed for divorce, and left—refusing counseling or reconciliation. I still love him and believe in restoration, but he’s enamored with someone else. Am I pitiful for hoping? How do I find peace when my ex husband shows no remorse?
  • I’m at the end of my rope. After 37 years of porn use, my husband is only in Seven Pillars because I gave an ultimatum. He shows no real desire to change. How is Betrayal & Beyond helpful when there’s no true repentance? Are these resources only for willing spouses?
  • After 42 years of marriage, my husband changed after retirement. We stopped having sex early, and he turned to porn. Now, he lies, denies, and gaslights me, even after attending groups. At 76, I wonder if he truly wants change. Should I stay or separate? Any advice?

Resources:

PD Podcast w/ Andrea Rogers

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]]> 055 - What to Do After Decades of Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:12:12 If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After 29 years, my husband had an affair, quit his job, filed for divorce, and left—refusing counseling or reconciliation. I still love him and believe in restoration, but he’s enamored with someone else. Am I pitiful for hoping? How do I find peace when my ex husband shows no remorse? I’m at the end of my rope. After 37 years of porn use, my husband is only in Seven Pillars because I gave an ultimatum. He shows no real desire to change. How is Betrayal & Beyond helpful when there’s no true repentance? Are these resources only for willing spouses? After 42 years of marriage, my husband changed after retirement. We stopped having sex early, and he turned to porn. Now, he lies, denies, and gaslights me, even after attending groups. At 76, I wonder if he truly wants change. Should I stay or separate? Any advice? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: After 29 years, my husband had an affair, quit his job, filed for divorce, and left—refusing counseling or reconciliation. I still love him and believe in restoration, but he’s enamored with someone else. Am I pitiful for hoping? How do I find peace when my ex husband shows no remorse? I’m at the end of my rope. After 37 years of porn use, my husband is only in Seven Pillars because I gave an ultimatum. He shows no real desire to change. How is Betrayal & Beyond helpful when there’s no true repentance? Are these resources only for willing spouses? After 42 years of marriage, my husband changed after retirement. We stopped having sex early, and he turned to porn. Now, he lies, denies, and gaslights me, even after attending groups. At 76, I wonder if he truly wants change. Should I stay or separate? Any advice? false full 55 0d7893b5-6aa2-4c79-8118-ddca0f0611d0 054 - Recovery is Not a 'One Size Fits All'l Process If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband has nearly 9 months of sobriety. He finished Seven Pillars and now attends a men's group for ongoing support, but he's growing tired of the 30-minute drive. How much sobriety and healing should he have before stepping away from group? When is it okay to stop?

- Most resources address wives betrayed by porn or affairs—but what about the wife who realizes she is where her husband acts out? What if she’s both his sex drug and dealer, yet he refuses to see it and blames her lack of desire, ignoring his pressure and coercion?

- PLEASE, PLEASE DO MORE ABOUT HUSBANDS ACTING OUT WITH PROSTITUTES. That’s what my husband did for years and I’m so beyond broken. I can’t find a lot of info on acting out with sex workers. They were younger than my daughter and I don’t know how to handle it. 💔

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> Tue, 3 Jun 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/054-recovery-is-not-a-one-size-fits-alll-process-u58F1Lul If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

- My husband has nearly 9 months of sobriety. He finished Seven Pillars and now attends a men's group for ongoing support, but he's growing tired of the 30-minute drive. How much sobriety and healing should he have before stepping away from group? When is it okay to stop?

- Most resources address wives betrayed by porn or affairs—but what about the wife who realizes she is where her husband acts out? What if she’s both his sex drug and dealer, yet he refuses to see it and blames her lack of desire, ignoring his pressure and coercion?

- PLEASE, PLEASE DO MORE ABOUT HUSBANDS ACTING OUT WITH PROSTITUTES. That’s what my husband did for years and I’m so beyond broken. I can’t find a lot of info on acting out with sex workers. They were younger than my daughter and I don’t know how to handle it. 💔

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> 054 - Recovery is Not a 'One Size Fits All'l Process Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:40 If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband has nearly 9 months of sobriety. He finished Seven Pillars and now attends a men's group for ongoing support, but he's growing tired of the 30-minute drive. How much sobriety and healing should he have before stepping away from group? When is it okay to stop? - Most resources address wives betrayed by porn or affairs—but what about the wife who realizes she is where her husband acts out? What if she’s both his sex drug and dealer, yet he refuses to see it and blames her lack of desire, ignoring his pressure and coercion? - PLEASE, PLEASE DO MORE ABOUT HUSBANDS ACTING OUT WITH PROSTITUTES. That’s what my husband did for years and I’m so beyond broken. I can’t find a lot of info on acting out with sex workers. They were younger than my daughter and I don’t know how to handle it. 💔 If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband has nearly 9 months of sobriety. He finished Seven Pillars and now attends a men's group for ongoing support, but he's growing tired of the 30-minute drive. How much sobriety and healing should he have before stepping away from group? When is it okay to stop? - Most resources address wives betrayed by porn or affairs—but what about the wife who realizes she is where her husband acts out? What if she’s both his sex drug and dealer, yet he refuses to see it and blames her lack of desire, ignoring his pressure and coercion? - PLEASE, PLEASE DO MORE ABOUT HUSBANDS ACTING OUT WITH PROSTITUTES. That’s what my husband did for years and I’m so beyond broken. I can’t find a lot of info on acting out with sex workers. They were younger than my daughter and I don’t know how to handle it. 💔 false full 54 5b7fcc41-7b4a-42ad-81d5-c6664b683242 053 - When Leaders Ask Hard Questions Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I recently joined Pure Desire. Is it okay for a woman to discuss with her pastor her sexual issues with her husband in their home? What responsibility does the pastor have in this situation? In what environment should he accept this responsibility and offer guidance? 
  • I'm a therapist with a newly married client who struggles with low sexual desire despite loving his wife. He abstained before marriage, avoids porn, and they share affection and closeness. He's confused by his lack of drive. What might be causing this, and how can I support him?
  • If a person is on the fence about whether to join a group (either B&B or Seven Pillars), what advice, guidance, or encouragement would you give regarding making that decision? As a group leader, I question whether a couple can find true healing, have a thriving marriage, and be great parents without either joining a group or seeking professional help.

Send us your questions to unfiltered@puredesire.org

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> Tue, 27 May 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/053-when-leaders-ask-hard-questions-CJFr0lru Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I recently joined Pure Desire. Is it okay for a woman to discuss with her pastor her sexual issues with her husband in their home? What responsibility does the pastor have in this situation? In what environment should he accept this responsibility and offer guidance? 
  • I'm a therapist with a newly married client who struggles with low sexual desire despite loving his wife. He abstained before marriage, avoids porn, and they share affection and closeness. He's confused by his lack of drive. What might be causing this, and how can I support him?
  • If a person is on the fence about whether to join a group (either B&B or Seven Pillars), what advice, guidance, or encouragement would you give regarding making that decision? As a group leader, I question whether a couple can find true healing, have a thriving marriage, and be great parents without either joining a group or seeking professional help.

Send us your questions to unfiltered@puredesire.org

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> 053 - When Leaders Ask Hard Questions Pure Desire Ministries 00:13:58 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I recently joined Pure Desire. Is it okay for a woman to discuss with her pastor her sexual issues with her husband in their home? What responsibility does the pastor have in this situation? In what environment should he accept this responsibility and offer guidance? I'm a therapist with a newly married client who struggles with low sexual desire despite loving his wife. He abstained before marriage, avoids porn, and they share affection and closeness. He's confused by his lack of drive. What might be causing this, and how can I support him? If a person is on the fence about whether to join a group (either B&B or Seven Pillars), what advice, guidance, or encouragement would you give regarding making that decision? As a group leader, I question whether a couple can find true healing, have a thriving marriage, and be great parents without either joining a group or seeking professional help. Listen Now If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I recently joined Pure Desire. Is it okay for a woman to discuss with her pastor her sexual issues with her husband in their home? What responsibility does the pastor have in this situation? In what environment should he accept this responsibility and offer guidance? I'm a therapist with a newly married client who struggles with low sexual desire despite loving his wife. He abstained before marriage, avoids porn, and they share affection and closeness. He's confused by his lack of drive. What might be causing this, and how can I support him? If a person is on the fence about whether to join a group (either B&B or Seven Pillars), what advice, guidance, or encouragement would you give regarding making that decision? As a group leader, I question whether a couple can find true healing, have a thriving marriage, and be great parents without either joining a group or seeking professional help. Listen Now If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! false full 53 862ebe60-0d92-4055-aa22-5d0c2e8eb7f5 052 - Forgiveness, Empathy, & Triggers If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I'd love to hear you discuss forgiveness. We're often warned against forgiving too soon or improperly, but rarely told how to forgive the right way. When is the right time? What does forgiveness look like without reconciliation or trust? Can unforgiveness lead to bitterness in a betrayed wife?
  • Could you discuss practical tools for building empathy in relationships? It feels essential for healing, especially after betrayal, but it’s often hard to know where to start. What are some specific actions or strategies that can help partners develop deeper empathy and understanding for each other’s feelings and experiences?
  • After 30 years of marriage and my husband’s struggle with sexual addiction, he’s found freedom. But a recent non-sensual massage triggered me—reminding me of past betrayals. Am I overreacting? Do I need more healing? Should I ask him to seek another man's perspective, or just let it go

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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Follow us on Facebook

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]]> Tue, 20 May 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/052-forgiveness-empathy-triggers-5LHCusSV If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I'd love to hear you discuss forgiveness. We're often warned against forgiving too soon or improperly, but rarely told how to forgive the right way. When is the right time? What does forgiveness look like without reconciliation or trust? Can unforgiveness lead to bitterness in a betrayed wife?
  • Could you discuss practical tools for building empathy in relationships? It feels essential for healing, especially after betrayal, but it’s often hard to know where to start. What are some specific actions or strategies that can help partners develop deeper empathy and understanding for each other’s feelings and experiences?
  • After 30 years of marriage and my husband’s struggle with sexual addiction, he’s found freedom. But a recent non-sensual massage triggered me—reminding me of past betrayals. Am I overreacting? Do I need more healing? Should I ask him to seek another man's perspective, or just let it go

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> 052 - Forgiveness, Empathy, & Triggers Pure Desire Ministries 00:22:40 If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I'd love to hear you discuss forgiveness. We're often warned against forgiving too soon or improperly, but rarely told how to forgive the right way. When is the right time? What does forgiveness look like without reconciliation or trust? Can unforgiveness lead to bitterness in a betrayed wife? Could you discuss practical tools for building empathy in relationships? It feels essential for healing, especially after betrayal, but it’s often hard to know where to start. What are some specific actions or strategies that can help partners develop deeper empathy and understanding for each other’s feelings and experiences? After 30 years of marriage and my husband’s struggle with sexual addiction, he’s found freedom. But a recent non-sensual massage triggered me—reminding me of past betrayals. Am I overreacting? Do I need more healing? Should I ask him to seek another man's perspective, or just let it go? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I'd love to hear you discuss forgiveness. We're often warned against forgiving too soon or improperly, but rarely told how to forgive the right way. When is the right time? What does forgiveness look like without reconciliation or trust? Can unforgiveness lead to bitterness in a betrayed wife? Could you discuss practical tools for building empathy in relationships? It feels essential for healing, especially after betrayal, but it’s often hard to know where to start. What are some specific actions or strategies that can help partners develop deeper empathy and understanding for each other’s feelings and experiences? After 30 years of marriage and my husband’s struggle with sexual addiction, he’s found freedom. But a recent non-sensual massage triggered me—reminding me of past betrayals. Am I overreacting? Do I need more healing? Should I ask him to seek another man's perspective, or just let it go? false full 52 7999ca6f-ef06-4bc6-88e4-0ef379ae5eec 051 - Recovery & Relapse Email your questions to unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I am wondering if a husband is supposed to tell his wife about relapses after full disclosure? My husband doesn’t want to cause me “more trauma” and says, “I am acting like an accountability partner.” When I tell him it’s to help restore trust with honesty, he says he has been honest because I’ve known about his struggle. But I don’t know about current relapses. He is in a program and I am seeking healing. Any insights on how to have this conversation? Is he right?
  • My husband has been relapsing for 2.5 years and doesn't disclose within the agreed 24-hour period. Instead, he waits weeks or months, which leaves me feeling hopeless and angry. What boundaries should I put in place and how long do I let him continue this pattern? Although he’s in a Seven Pillars group and working on recovery, his ongoing deception makes rebuilding trust difficult. I have a safety plan in place, but his lying is a major issue. I want him to find freedom, but I don’t know how much more I can endure.
  • Are there guidelines for healthy boundaries during separation? A separation safety action plan? How to help the kids through this? After a previous separation, I rushed back, but now, a year later, my husband violated my safety plan, requiring another separation. I’m in counseling, he’s nearing the end of his Seven Pillars group, but avoids personal counseling. He claims to be “trying,” yet the same patterns persist—relapsing every 3-6 months and swapping one addiction for another. I’m not seeing real growth or accountability.

Resources:

7 Key Components of a “Therapeutic” Separation Agreement

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 13 May 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/051-recovery-relapse-1o82Hv2b Email your questions to unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I am wondering if a husband is supposed to tell his wife about relapses after full disclosure? My husband doesn’t want to cause me “more trauma” and says, “I am acting like an accountability partner.” When I tell him it’s to help restore trust with honesty, he says he has been honest because I’ve known about his struggle. But I don’t know about current relapses. He is in a program and I am seeking healing. Any insights on how to have this conversation? Is he right?
  • My husband has been relapsing for 2.5 years and doesn't disclose within the agreed 24-hour period. Instead, he waits weeks or months, which leaves me feeling hopeless and angry. What boundaries should I put in place and how long do I let him continue this pattern? Although he’s in a Seven Pillars group and working on recovery, his ongoing deception makes rebuilding trust difficult. I have a safety plan in place, but his lying is a major issue. I want him to find freedom, but I don’t know how much more I can endure.
  • Are there guidelines for healthy boundaries during separation? A separation safety action plan? How to help the kids through this? After a previous separation, I rushed back, but now, a year later, my husband violated my safety plan, requiring another separation. I’m in counseling, he’s nearing the end of his Seven Pillars group, but avoids personal counseling. He claims to be “trying,” yet the same patterns persist—relapsing every 3-6 months and swapping one addiction for another. I’m not seeing real growth or accountability.

Resources:

7 Key Components of a “Therapeutic” Separation Agreement

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 051 - Recovery & Relapse Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:34 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I am wondering if a husband is supposed to tell his wife about relapses after full disclosure? My husband doesn’t want to cause me “more trauma” and says, “I am acting like an accountability partner.” When I tell him it’s to help restore trust with honesty, he says he has been honest because I’ve known about his struggle. But I don’t know about current relapses. He is in a program and I am seeking healing. Any insights on how to have this conversation? Is he right? My husband has been relapsing for 2.5 years and doesn't disclose within the agreed 24-hour period. Instead, he waits weeks or months, which leaves me feeling hopeless and angry. What boundaries should I put in place and how long do I let him continue this pattern? Although he’s in a Seven Pillars group and working on recovery, his ongoing deception makes rebuilding trust difficult. I have a safety plan in place, but his lying is a major issue. I want him to find freedom, but I don’t know how much more I can endure. Are there guidelines for healthy boundaries during separation? A separation safety action plan? How to help the kids through this? After a previous separation, I rushed back, but now, a year later, my husband violated my safety plan, requiring another separation. I’m in counseling, he’s nearing the end of his Seven Pillars group, but avoids personal counseling. He claims to be “trying,” yet the same patterns persist—relapsing every 3-6 months and swapping one addiction for another. I’m not seeing real growth or accountability. Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I am wondering if a husband is supposed to tell his wife about relapses after full disclosure? My husband doesn’t want to cause me “more trauma” and says, “I am acting like an accountability partner.” When I tell him it’s to help restore trust with honesty, he says he has been honest because I’ve known about his struggle. But I don’t know about current relapses. He is in a program and I am seeking healing. Any insights on how to have this conversation? Is he right? My husband has been relapsing for 2.5 years and doesn't disclose within the agreed 24-hour period. Instead, he waits weeks or months, which leaves me feeling hopeless and angry. What boundaries should I put in place and how long do I let him continue this pattern? Although he’s in a Seven Pillars group and working on recovery, his ongoing deception makes rebuilding trust difficult. I have a safety plan in place, but his lying is a major issue. I want him to find freedom, but I don’t know how much more I can endure. Are there guidelines for healthy boundaries during separation? A separation safety action plan? How to help the kids through this? After a previous separation, I rushed back, but now, a year later, my husband violated my safety plan, requiring another separation. I’m in counseling, he’s nearing the end of his Seven Pillars group, but avoids personal counseling. He claims to be “trying,” yet the same patterns persist—relapsing every 3-6 months and swapping one addiction for another. I’m not seeing real growth or accountability. false full 51 6b81aef9-09c1-4f9e-8861-2d6f0a547d6e 050 - Parafilia, Fantasy, & Sex Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’ve been leading Betrayal & Beyond groups. Sometimes I’ll have women whose husbands are involved in paraphilia and I wonder how to help them. (Cross dressing, exhibitionism, anonymous sex with other men even though they are not homosexual, etc.) I haven’t seen or heard any advice from PD on this subject. Can you offer some encouraging things I could share with them? I don’t want to make them feel worse by saying the wrong thing.
  • What are the thoughts around women reading fictional books that have spicy scenes? Is it wrong across the board? My husband has been in Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior groups and I've gone through a Betrayal & Beyond group. My thought for the books being acceptable is reading about women who actually have a sex drive and are passionate about being intimate with their partner. A freedom they must have in the fictional world without a betrayal in their history. Lol. 
  • I'm looking for advice on where Christian women can learn specific ways to enhance their sex life. In my youth, I read secular magazines with tips on touching a man’s body, but now, as a Christian, I want to avoid non-God-honoring content and porn. Our sex life is decent, but I want to improve it. I've read several Christian books on sex, but they feel too basic. After 18 years of marriage, any tips on spicing things up?
     

Resources:

Sheila Wray Gregoire's Resoureces

The Gift of Sex by Cliff & Joyce Penner

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> Tue, 6 May 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/050-parafilia-fantasy-sex-Yamx5v2f Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’ve been leading Betrayal & Beyond groups. Sometimes I’ll have women whose husbands are involved in paraphilia and I wonder how to help them. (Cross dressing, exhibitionism, anonymous sex with other men even though they are not homosexual, etc.) I haven’t seen or heard any advice from PD on this subject. Can you offer some encouraging things I could share with them? I don’t want to make them feel worse by saying the wrong thing.
  • What are the thoughts around women reading fictional books that have spicy scenes? Is it wrong across the board? My husband has been in Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior groups and I've gone through a Betrayal & Beyond group. My thought for the books being acceptable is reading about women who actually have a sex drive and are passionate about being intimate with their partner. A freedom they must have in the fictional world without a betrayal in their history. Lol. 
  • I'm looking for advice on where Christian women can learn specific ways to enhance their sex life. In my youth, I read secular magazines with tips on touching a man’s body, but now, as a Christian, I want to avoid non-God-honoring content and porn. Our sex life is decent, but I want to improve it. I've read several Christian books on sex, but they feel too basic. After 18 years of marriage, any tips on spicing things up?
     

Resources:

Sheila Wray Gregoire's Resoureces

The Gift of Sex by Cliff & Joyce Penner

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]]> 050 - Parafilia, Fantasy, & Sex Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:48 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’ve been leading Betrayal & Beyond groups. Sometimes I’ll have women whose husbands are involved in paraphilia and I wonder how to help them. (Cross dressing, exhibitionism, anonymous sex with other men even though they are not homosexual, etc.) I haven’t seen or heard any advice from PD on this subject. Can you offer some encouraging things I could share with them? I don’t want to make them feel worse by saying the wrong thing. What are the thoughts around women reading fictional books that have spicy scenes? Is it wrong across the board? My husband has been in Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior groups and I've gone through a Betrayal & Beyond group. My thought for the books being acceptable is reading about women who actually have a sex drive and are passionate about being intimate with their partner. A freedom they must have in the fictional world without a betrayal in their history. Lol. I'm looking for advice on where Christian women can learn specific ways to enhance their sex life. In my youth, I read secular magazines with tips on touching a man’s body, but now, as a Christian, I want to avoid non-God-honoring content and porn. Our sex life is decent, but I want to improve it. I've read several Christian books on sex, but they feel too basic. After 18 years of marriage, any tips on spicing things up? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’ve been leading Betrayal & Beyond groups. Sometimes I’ll have women whose husbands are involved in paraphilia and I wonder how to help them. (Cross dressing, exhibitionism, anonymous sex with other men even though they are not homosexual, etc.) I haven’t seen or heard any advice from PD on this subject. Can you offer some encouraging things I could share with them? I don’t want to make them feel worse by saying the wrong thing. What are the thoughts around women reading fictional books that have spicy scenes? Is it wrong across the board? My husband has been in Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior groups and I've gone through a Betrayal & Beyond group. My thought for the books being acceptable is reading about women who actually have a sex drive and are passionate about being intimate with their partner. A freedom they must have in the fictional world without a betrayal in their history. Lol. I'm looking for advice on where Christian women can learn specific ways to enhance their sex life. In my youth, I read secular magazines with tips on touching a man’s body, but now, as a Christian, I want to avoid non-God-honoring content and porn. Our sex life is decent, but I want to improve it. I've read several Christian books on sex, but they feel too basic. After 18 years of marriage, any tips on spicing things up? false full 50 874e2aed-8b1d-4f51-b8a8-fd23ea1d4918 049 - The Fallout of Addiction & Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I left my abusive marriage for the safety of my children and myself, and my ex-husband has since passed away. As I grow through recovery and faith, I've started considering dating again. However, I've begun having intrusive thoughts about whether the men around me are engaging in problematic behaviors like masturbation and porn. Do you have any suggestions for minimizing these intrusive thoughts or handling them when they occur?
  • My husband has been working on recovery through Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior, and I’ve done Betrayal & Beyond. While he’s making progress, I’m struggling to sleep next to him (actually sleep). He acted out in our bed during most of our marriage, and now sleep feels vulnerable. Though I trust he's not acting out, I wake up panicked with vivid dreams and flooded thoughts of his betrayal. We’ve set boundaries around sleeping together, but it doesn’t feel like a healthy arrangement. What should I do?
  • I’m questioning the concept of "erotic haze" in my relationship. What can you tell me about it? My partner is “sober” but still feels unsafe to me emotionally and physically. While he acknowledges the issues of porn and masturbation, he’s resistant to recognizing other problematic behaviors tied to his sexual history. We’re five years past D-Day, and progress is slow despite treatment efforts: inpatient twice, Seven Pillars, and currently Compassionate Warrior. He struggles with manipulation and control, and I’ve detached myself to focus on my own healing. I need validation and education to better understand this process and my feelings.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Tue, 29 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/049-the-fallout-of-addiction-betrayal-JcJz_uxV Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I left my abusive marriage for the safety of my children and myself, and my ex-husband has since passed away. As I grow through recovery and faith, I've started considering dating again. However, I've begun having intrusive thoughts about whether the men around me are engaging in problematic behaviors like masturbation and porn. Do you have any suggestions for minimizing these intrusive thoughts or handling them when they occur?
  • My husband has been working on recovery through Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior, and I’ve done Betrayal & Beyond. While he’s making progress, I’m struggling to sleep next to him (actually sleep). He acted out in our bed during most of our marriage, and now sleep feels vulnerable. Though I trust he's not acting out, I wake up panicked with vivid dreams and flooded thoughts of his betrayal. We’ve set boundaries around sleeping together, but it doesn’t feel like a healthy arrangement. What should I do?
  • I’m questioning the concept of "erotic haze" in my relationship. What can you tell me about it? My partner is “sober” but still feels unsafe to me emotionally and physically. While he acknowledges the issues of porn and masturbation, he’s resistant to recognizing other problematic behaviors tied to his sexual history. We’re five years past D-Day, and progress is slow despite treatment efforts: inpatient twice, Seven Pillars, and currently Compassionate Warrior. He struggles with manipulation and control, and I’ve detached myself to focus on my own healing. I need validation and education to better understand this process and my feelings.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> 049 - The Fallout of Addiction & Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:39 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I left my abusive marriage for the safety of my children and myself, and my ex-husband has since passed away. As I grow through recovery and faith, I've started considering dating again. However, I've begun having intrusive thoughts about whether the men around me are engaging in problematic behaviors like masturbation and porn. Do you have any suggestions for minimizing these intrusive thoughts or handling them when they occur? My husband has been working on recovery through Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior, and I’ve done Betrayal & Beyond. While he’s making progress, I’m struggling to sleep next to him (actually sleep). He acted out in our bed during most of our marriage, and now sleep feels vulnerable. Though I trust he's not acting out, I wake up panicked with vivid dreams and flooded thoughts of his betrayal. We’ve set boundaries around sleeping together, but it doesn’t feel like a healthy arrangement. What should I do? I’m questioning the concept of "erotic haze" in my relationship. What can you tell me about it? My partner is “sober” but still feels unsafe to me emotionally and physically. While he acknowledges the issues of porn and masturbation, he’s resistant to recognizing other problematic behaviors tied to his sexual history. We’re five years past D-Day, and progress is slow despite treatment efforts: inpatient twice, Seven Pillars, and currently Compassionate Warrior. He struggles with manipulation and control, and I’ve detached myself to focus on my own healing. I need validation and education to better understand this process and my feelings. Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I left my abusive marriage for the safety of my children and myself, and my ex-husband has since passed away. As I grow through recovery and faith, I've started considering dating again. However, I've begun having intrusive thoughts about whether the men around me are engaging in problematic behaviors like masturbation and porn. Do you have any suggestions for minimizing these intrusive thoughts or handling them when they occur? My husband has been working on recovery through Seven Pillars and Compassionate Warrior, and I’ve done Betrayal & Beyond. While he’s making progress, I’m struggling to sleep next to him (actually sleep). He acted out in our bed during most of our marriage, and now sleep feels vulnerable. Though I trust he's not acting out, I wake up panicked with vivid dreams and flooded thoughts of his betrayal. We’ve set boundaries around sleeping together, but it doesn’t feel like a healthy arrangement. What should I do? I’m questioning the concept of "erotic haze" in my relationship. What can you tell me about it? My partner is “sober” but still feels unsafe to me emotionally and physically. While he acknowledges the issues of porn and masturbation, he’s resistant to recognizing other problematic behaviors tied to his sexual history. We’re five years past D-Day, and progress is slow despite treatment efforts: inpatient twice, Seven Pillars, and currently Compassionate Warrior. He struggles with manipulation and control, and I’ve detached myself to focus on my own healing. I need validation and education to better understand this process and my feelings. false full 49 a8ef83f5-fcc7-4e06-990d-942ddb0b393b 048 - Getting Through Your Husband's Prostitution, Affairs, & Lies Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

- I’m 27 and married for four years with no kids. Six months in, I discovered my husband’s porn addiction and his solicitation of a prostitute. Over the years, he’s continued deceptive behavior, including porn use on a hidden phone, and refusing counseling. In February 2025, he received a threatening call from the 'cartel' (not the first time in our marriage). Though he promises to change, I no longer believe him. I’m considering creating my own life in another state while he works on recovery. Should I continue in this marriage?

- After 29 years of marriage, I’m newly single following my husband’s affair. He’s a Christian pastor who walked away from our marriage, claiming God released him, while he’s with a younger woman. Six months after discovering his betrayal, I’m finally starting to recover from the shock. I’m left with our kids, the house, and all the responsibilities. I’m struggling with the pain and confusion, missing him at times, and questioning how to focus my desires on God long-term. Why is healthy sexuality so difficult for many, and where is the church's accountability?

- How do you deal with a husband's betrayal and the affair partner who gave birth to his baby 5 months ago? I made a decision to stay with him despite this but it is impossible to expect no contact when they have to communicate about the baby. Any suggestions?

 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> Tue, 22 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/048-getting-through-your-husbands-prostitution-affairs-lies-HdFZFUGf Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

- I’m 27 and married for four years with no kids. Six months in, I discovered my husband’s porn addiction and his solicitation of a prostitute. Over the years, he’s continued deceptive behavior, including porn use on a hidden phone, and refusing counseling. In February 2025, he received a threatening call from the 'cartel' (not the first time in our marriage). Though he promises to change, I no longer believe him. I’m considering creating my own life in another state while he works on recovery. Should I continue in this marriage?

- After 29 years of marriage, I’m newly single following my husband’s affair. He’s a Christian pastor who walked away from our marriage, claiming God released him, while he’s with a younger woman. Six months after discovering his betrayal, I’m finally starting to recover from the shock. I’m left with our kids, the house, and all the responsibilities. I’m struggling with the pain and confusion, missing him at times, and questioning how to focus my desires on God long-term. Why is healthy sexuality so difficult for many, and where is the church's accountability?

- How do you deal with a husband's betrayal and the affair partner who gave birth to his baby 5 months ago? I made a decision to stay with him despite this but it is impossible to expect no contact when they have to communicate about the baby. Any suggestions?

 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> 048 - Getting Through Your Husband's Prostitution, Affairs, & Lies Pure Desire Ministries 00:21:02 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I’m 27 and married for four years with no kids. Six months in, I discovered my husband’s porn addiction and his solicitation of a prostitute. Over the years, he’s continued deceptive behavior, including porn use on a hidden phone, and refusing counseling. In February 2025, he received a threatening call from the 'cartel' (not the first time in our marriage). Though he promises to change, I no longer believe him. I’m considering creating my own life in another state while he works on recovery. Should I continue in this marriage? After 29 years of marriage, I’m newly single following my husband’s affair. He’s a Christian pastor who walked away from our marriage, claiming God released him, while he’s with a younger woman. Six months after discovering his betrayal, I’m finally starting to recover from the shock. I’m left with our kids, the house, and all the responsibilities. I’m struggling with the pain and confusion, missing him at times, and questioning how to focus my desires on God long-term. Why is healthy sexuality so difficult for many, and where is the church's accountability? How do you deal with husbands betrayal and the affair partner who gave birth to his baby 5 months ago? I made a decision to stay with him despite this but it is impossible to expect no contact when they have to communicate about the baby. Any suggestions? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I’m 27 and married for four years with no kids. Six months in, I discovered my husband’s porn addiction and his solicitation of a prostitute. Over the years, he’s continued deceptive behavior, including porn use on a hidden phone, and refusing counseling. In February 2025, he received a threatening call from the 'cartel' (not the first time in our marriage). Though he promises to change, I no longer believe him. I’m considering creating my own life in another state while he works on recovery. Should I continue in this marriage? After 29 years of marriage, I’m newly single following my husband’s affair. He’s a Christian pastor who walked away from our marriage, claiming God released him, while he’s with a younger woman. Six months after discovering his betrayal, I’m finally starting to recover from the shock. I’m left with our kids, the house, and all the responsibilities. I’m struggling with the pain and confusion, missing him at times, and questioning how to focus my desires on God long-term. Why is healthy sexuality so difficult for many, and where is the church's accountability? How do you deal with husbands betrayal and the affair partner who gave birth to his baby 5 months ago? I made a decision to stay with him despite this but it is impossible to expect no contact when they have to communicate about the baby. Any suggestions? false full 48 6b9e3bc0-0096-4928-ada9-589391bd1103 047 - Emotional Betrayal, Trauma, & Healing Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions: 
 

  • In 2006, I found out my husband had a pornography addiction. He later worked at a church and grew close to a female coworker. In January 2021, he admitted relapsing and revealed that this coworker helped him stop, claiming to be in love with her. I saw it as an emotional affair and asked him to stop texting her. Four years later, he still texts her, and I feel betrayed. Am I unreasonable in asking him to sever ties and stop all contact?
  • I've been married for 19 years with two children. My husband is generally a good father and husband, but struggles with sexual unfaithfulness, particularly pornography. He claims to be four months porn-free, but we haven't gone through full disclosure. Though we've done groups and counseling, I feel emotionally exhausted and unsupported, especially when he deflects my concerns about his actions. I'm unsure how to manage my exhaustion while supporting him and address his lack of transparency in recovery. What can I do?
  • Since 2020 (d-day), my husband has been in therapy, and although we started counseling together, the focus shifted to his healing. He often expresses unhappiness and says the family would be better off without him. He yells at our sons and creates constant conflict. After 4.5 years, I see no growth, and I feel exhausted, considering divorce. I find it odd that his therapist has never reached out to check in with me. Is this normal?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 15 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/047-emotional-betrayal-trauma-healing-TbR2F_g3 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions: 
 

  • In 2006, I found out my husband had a pornography addiction. He later worked at a church and grew close to a female coworker. In January 2021, he admitted relapsing and revealed that this coworker helped him stop, claiming to be in love with her. I saw it as an emotional affair and asked him to stop texting her. Four years later, he still texts her, and I feel betrayed. Am I unreasonable in asking him to sever ties and stop all contact?
  • I've been married for 19 years with two children. My husband is generally a good father and husband, but struggles with sexual unfaithfulness, particularly pornography. He claims to be four months porn-free, but we haven't gone through full disclosure. Though we've done groups and counseling, I feel emotionally exhausted and unsupported, especially when he deflects my concerns about his actions. I'm unsure how to manage my exhaustion while supporting him and address his lack of transparency in recovery. What can I do?
  • Since 2020 (d-day), my husband has been in therapy, and although we started counseling together, the focus shifted to his healing. He often expresses unhappiness and says the family would be better off without him. He yells at our sons and creates constant conflict. After 4.5 years, I see no growth, and I feel exhausted, considering divorce. I find it odd that his therapist has never reached out to check in with me. Is this normal?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Follow us on X (Twitter)


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]]> 047 - Emotional Betrayal, Trauma, & Healing Pure Desire Ministries 00:23:25 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: In 2006, I found out my husband had a pornography addiction. He later worked at a church and grew close to a female coworker. In January 2021, he admitted relapsing and revealed that this coworker helped him stop, claiming to be in love with her. I saw it as an emotional affair and asked him to stop texting her. Four years later, he still texts her, and I feel betrayed. Am I unreasonable in asking him to sever ties and stop all contact? I've been married for 19 years with two children. My husband is generally a good father and husband, but struggles with sexual unfaithfulness, particularly pornography. He claims to be four months porn-free, but we haven't gone through full disclosure. Though we've done groups and counseling, I feel emotionally exhausted and unsupported, especially when he deflects my concerns about his actions. I'm unsure how to manage my exhaustion while supporting him and address his lack of transparency in recovery. What can I do? Since 2020 (d-day), my husband has been in therapy, and although we started counseling together, the focus shifted to his healing. He often expresses unhappiness and says the family would be better off without him. He yells at our sons and creates constant conflict. After 4.5 years, I see no growth, and I feel exhausted, considering divorce. I find it odd that his therapist has never reached out to check in with me. Is this normal? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: In 2006, I found out my husband had a pornography addiction. He later worked at a church and grew close to a female coworker. In January 2021, he admitted relapsing and revealed that this coworker helped him stop, claiming to be in love with her. I saw it as an emotional affair and asked him to stop texting her. Four years later, he still texts her, and I feel betrayed. Am I unreasonable in asking him to sever ties and stop all contact? I've been married for 19 years with two children. My husband is generally a good father and husband, but struggles with sexual unfaithfulness, particularly pornography. He claims to be four months porn-free, but we haven't gone through full disclosure. Though we've done groups and counseling, I feel emotionally exhausted and unsupported, especially when he deflects my concerns about his actions. I'm unsure how to manage my exhaustion while supporting him and address his lack of transparency in recovery. What can I do? Since 2020 (d-day), my husband has been in therapy, and although we started counseling together, the focus shifted to his healing. He often expresses unhappiness and says the family would be better off without him. He yells at our sons and creates constant conflict. After 4.5 years, I see no growth, and I feel exhausted, considering divorce. I find it odd that his therapist has never reached out to check in with me. Is this normal? false full 47 7b2bffd7-d61d-42f7-9691-d5e410a57f2f Healing from Betrayal with Dr. Barbara Steffens | Guest Episode Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. She is the author of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and the founding President of APSATS: The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. Dr. Steffens walks us through what it looks like to find healing from betrayal trauma.

 

Resources:

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal

APSATS Website

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> Tue, 8 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/healing-from-betrayal-with-dr-barbara-steffens-guest-episode-naoCgDiD Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. She is the author of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and the founding President of APSATS: The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. Dr. Steffens walks us through what it looks like to find healing from betrayal trauma.

 

Resources:

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal

APSATS Website

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

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]]> Healing from Betrayal with Dr. Barbara Steffens | Guest Episode Pure Desire Ministries 00:44:29 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. She is the author of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and the founding President of APSATS: The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. Dr. Steffens walks us through what it looks like to find healing from betrayal trauma. Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. She is the author of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and the founding President of APSATS: The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. Dr. Steffens walks us through what it looks like to find healing from betrayal trauma. false bonus 3b3d06ab-55c0-4f6f-b380-85cb4ddb7064 046 - Is It Possible For My Husband To Achieve Sobriety? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

- Is lifelong sobriety possible? My husband has been addicted to pornography since he was 12-13. He has gone through a 12 step recovery program and gained 2 years of sobriety and good recovery. Recently, he has started relapsing over a 6 month period and has reached a point where he quit his job and checked himself into a 30-day inpatient addiction recovery center. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but I am afraid of what comes next. What if this doesn’t work and he can’t gain long term recovery or sobriety? What am I to do? Do I stay?

- What is considered sobriety? If the longest he has gone without a relapse was 7 months (since 2018), was that just white knuckling? I'm curious if my husband has ever actually been sober during his recovery journey. I am at the end of my rope, looking toward divorce. Every year I keep saying things will look different next year, but I don't want to keep saying that only to be going around the same hill. After so much broken trust, I don't know how to rebuild.

- In a recent episode, I loved how you talked about our spouses stepping up and stepping in. Then I realized my husband continually compares himself to others, but he believes all other men are addicted to porn, so he thinks he's no worse than any other. Are there stories out there of men who've been honorable in this area so he knows it's possible? Everyone he knows, his friends, in SA, in Seven Pillars, all struggle. I would love for him to have examples of men who can control themselves.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Tue, 1 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/046-is-it-possible-for-my-husband-to-achieve-sobriety-tWGDTqsU Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

- Is lifelong sobriety possible? My husband has been addicted to pornography since he was 12-13. He has gone through a 12 step recovery program and gained 2 years of sobriety and good recovery. Recently, he has started relapsing over a 6 month period and has reached a point where he quit his job and checked himself into a 30-day inpatient addiction recovery center. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but I am afraid of what comes next. What if this doesn’t work and he can’t gain long term recovery or sobriety? What am I to do? Do I stay?

- What is considered sobriety? If the longest he has gone without a relapse was 7 months (since 2018), was that just white knuckling? I'm curious if my husband has ever actually been sober during his recovery journey. I am at the end of my rope, looking toward divorce. Every year I keep saying things will look different next year, but I don't want to keep saying that only to be going around the same hill. After so much broken trust, I don't know how to rebuild.

- In a recent episode, I loved how you talked about our spouses stepping up and stepping in. Then I realized my husband continually compares himself to others, but he believes all other men are addicted to porn, so he thinks he's no worse than any other. Are there stories out there of men who've been honorable in this area so he knows it's possible? Everyone he knows, his friends, in SA, in Seven Pillars, all struggle. I would love for him to have examples of men who can control themselves.

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> 046 - Is It Possible For My Husband To Achieve Sobriety? Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:46 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Is lifelong sobriety possible? My husband has been addicted to pornography since he was 12-13. He has gone through a 12 step recovery program and gained 2 years of sobriety and good recovery. Recently, he has started relapsing over a 6 month period and has reached a point where he quit his job and checked himself into a 30-day inpatient addiction recovery center. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but I am afraid of what comes next. What if this doesn’t work and he can’t gain long term recovery or sobriety? What am I to do? Do I stay? - What is considered sobriety? If the longest he has gone without a relapse was 7 months (since 2018), was that just white knuckling? I'm curious if my husband has ever actually been sober during his recovery journey. I am at the end of my rope, looking toward divorce. Every year I keep saying things will look different next year, but I don't want to keep saying that only to be going around the same hill. After so much broken trust, I don't know how to rebuild. - In a recent episode, I loved how you talked about our spouses stepping up and stepping in. Then I realized my husband continually compares himself to others, but he believes all other men are addicted to porn, so he thinks he's no worse than any other. Are there stories out there of men who've been honorable in this area so he knows it's possible? Everyone he knows, his friends, in SA, in Seven Pillars, all struggle. I would love for him to have examples of men who can control themselves. Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Is lifelong sobriety possible? My husband has been addicted to pornography since he was 12-13. He has gone through a 12 step recovery program and gained 2 years of sobriety and good recovery. Recently, he has started relapsing over a 6 month period and has reached a point where he quit his job and checked himself into a 30-day inpatient addiction recovery center. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but I am afraid of what comes next. What if this doesn’t work and he can’t gain long term recovery or sobriety? What am I to do? Do I stay? - What is considered sobriety? If the longest he has gone without a relapse was 7 months (since 2018), was that just white knuckling? I'm curious if my husband has ever actually been sober during his recovery journey. I am at the end of my rope, looking toward divorce. Every year I keep saying things will look different next year, but I don't want to keep saying that only to be going around the same hill. After so much broken trust, I don't know how to rebuild. - In a recent episode, I loved how you talked about our spouses stepping up and stepping in. Then I realized my husband continually compares himself to others, but he believes all other men are addicted to porn, so he thinks he's no worse than any other. Are there stories out there of men who've been honorable in this area so he knows it's possible? Everyone he knows, his friends, in SA, in Seven Pillars, all struggle. I would love for him to have examples of men who can control themselves. false full 46 d6736977-34a7-4cde-8130-56706c370398 045 - Menopause, Addiction, & Reintegrating Sex Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • Do you have any suggestions on menopause and the effect it has on sexual intimacy? How to work through it, as well as just how important is sexual intimacy in a relationship? I know emotional intimacy is key but what about the physical?
  • I would be interested in hearing a talk about the challenges of sex after menopause, especially when porn was in our history. I have a lot of pain with intercourse even with lubrication, so we haven’t had sex that way in several years. My husband suffered from Delayed Ejaculation, probably due to masturbation. We basically stopped trying to do intercourse a couple years ago and just manually stimulate. I’ve been through Betrayal and Beyond and my husband is currently doing Seven Pillars. We have healed so much emotionally and sexually, but we kind of miss intercourse. Any suggestions?
  • I'm a recovering porn addict 2 years sober. I was wondering if you guys have experience in sensate focus and any insight you may have about that and renewing intimacy in my relationship?

Resources:

What Men Need To Know About Menopause - Focus on the Family

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]]> Tue, 25 Mar 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/045-menopause-addiction-reintegrating-sex-J_KaebGe Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • Do you have any suggestions on menopause and the effect it has on sexual intimacy? How to work through it, as well as just how important is sexual intimacy in a relationship? I know emotional intimacy is key but what about the physical?
  • I would be interested in hearing a talk about the challenges of sex after menopause, especially when porn was in our history. I have a lot of pain with intercourse even with lubrication, so we haven’t had sex that way in several years. My husband suffered from Delayed Ejaculation, probably due to masturbation. We basically stopped trying to do intercourse a couple years ago and just manually stimulate. I’ve been through Betrayal and Beyond and my husband is currently doing Seven Pillars. We have healed so much emotionally and sexually, but we kind of miss intercourse. Any suggestions?
  • I'm a recovering porn addict 2 years sober. I was wondering if you guys have experience in sensate focus and any insight you may have about that and renewing intimacy in my relationship?

Resources:

What Men Need To Know About Menopause - Focus on the Family

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> 045 - Menopause, Addiction, & Reintegrating Sex Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:33 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Do you have any suggestions on menopause and the effect it has on sexual intimacy? How to work through it, as well as just how important is sexual intimacy in a relationship? I know emotional intimacy is key but what about the physical? - I would be interested in hearing a talk about the challenges of sex after menopause, especially when porn was in our history. I have a lot of pain with intercourse even with lubrication, so we haven’t had sex that way in several years. My husband suffered from Delayed Ejaculation, probably due to masturbation. We basically stopped trying to do intercourse a couple years ago and just manually stimulate. I’ve been through Betrayal and Beyond and my husband is currently doing Seven Pillars. We have healed so much emotionally and sexually, but we kind of miss intercourse. Any suggestions? - I'm a recovering porn addict 2 years sober. I was wondering if you guys have experience in sensate focus and any insight you may have about that and renewing intimacy in my relationship? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Do you have any suggestions on menopause and the effect it has on sexual intimacy? How to work through it, as well as just how important is sexual intimacy in a relationship? I know emotional intimacy is key but what about the physical? - I would be interested in hearing a talk about the challenges of sex after menopause, especially when porn was in our history. I have a lot of pain with intercourse even with lubrication, so we haven’t had sex that way in several years. My husband suffered from Delayed Ejaculation, probably due to masturbation. We basically stopped trying to do intercourse a couple years ago and just manually stimulate. I’ve been through Betrayal and Beyond and my husband is currently doing Seven Pillars. We have healed so much emotionally and sexually, but we kind of miss intercourse. Any suggestions? - I'm a recovering porn addict 2 years sober. I was wondering if you guys have experience in sensate focus and any insight you may have about that and renewing intimacy in my relationship? false full 45 b0c5932f-a746-4bd4-b9e1-6a29cea21551 044 - Unique Forms of Betrayal Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • The language often used by Pure Desire is for married couples, but what about the seriously dating couples who are moving toward marriage? What counsel do you have for young Christian adults in committed dating relationships who are close to engagement/marriage when porn addiction comes into the light?
  • When a husband asks his wife to perform sexual acts he’s seen in porn, is this considered sexual abuse, even though it’s in a marriage? What effects would this betrayal have on a woman who was sexually abused in a similar way as a child?
  • We are very close to a couple who are in the midst of betrayal and healing. The husband has been emotionally attached to another woman, to the point you could call it an emotional affair. They are working toward healing. I was wondering if you have any recommendations for couples dealing with emotional affairs and healing from this type of betrayal? 

     

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/044-unique-forms-of-betrayal-i2hO4OGD Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • The language often used by Pure Desire is for married couples, but what about the seriously dating couples who are moving toward marriage? What counsel do you have for young Christian adults in committed dating relationships who are close to engagement/marriage when porn addiction comes into the light?
  • When a husband asks his wife to perform sexual acts he’s seen in porn, is this considered sexual abuse, even though it’s in a marriage? What effects would this betrayal have on a woman who was sexually abused in a similar way as a child?
  • We are very close to a couple who are in the midst of betrayal and healing. The husband has been emotionally attached to another woman, to the point you could call it an emotional affair. They are working toward healing. I was wondering if you have any recommendations for couples dealing with emotional affairs and healing from this type of betrayal? 

     

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> 044 - Unique Forms of Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:11:46 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - The language often used by Pure Desire is for married couples, but what about the seriously dating couples who are moving toward marriage? What counsel do you have for young Christian adults in committed dating relationships who are close to engagement/marriage when porn addiction comes into the light? - When a husband asks his wife to perform sexual acts he’s seen in porn, is this considered sexual abuse, even though it’s in a marriage? What effects would this betrayal have on a woman who was sexually abused in a similar way as a child? - We are very close to a couple who are in the midst of betrayal and healing. The husband has been emotionally attached to another woman, to the point you could call it an emotional affair. They are working toward healing. I was wondering if you have any recommendations for couples dealing with emotional affairs and healing from this type of betrayal? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - The language often used by Pure Desire is for married couples, but what about the seriously dating couples who are moving toward marriage? What counsel do you have for young Christian adults in committed dating relationships who are close to engagement/marriage when porn addiction comes into the light? - When a husband asks his wife to perform sexual acts he’s seen in porn, is this considered sexual abuse, even though it’s in a marriage? What effects would this betrayal have on a woman who was sexually abused in a similar way as a child? - We are very close to a couple who are in the midst of betrayal and healing. The husband has been emotionally attached to another woman, to the point you could call it an emotional affair. They are working toward healing. I was wondering if you have any recommendations for couples dealing with emotional affairs and healing from this type of betrayal? false full 44 288227c1-4894-4438-8882-c496ee96a448 043 - The Complexity Of Sex Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • How do I tread the line between being a trigger for my husband and still being sexy and flirty? I used to love wearing lingerie type nightgowns and throughout the day send messages to my husband about plans for our sexy time. But now I’m scared that if I send him a text like this, it will make him have sexual thoughts and he will have urges to act out.
  • When people act out sexually, what are they looking for? (Bondage, role playing… how exotic are we talking?) What does the average couple feel comfortable with sexually?
  • My body desires sex each month after my period. The rest of the month is a huge struggle with mental roadblocks, no physical desire, not feeling safe to engage, or a wall over my heart. I have been struggling to figure out if it’s hormones, betrayal trauma related, or a mixture of both. Why does this happen and how can I move toward having more sexual freedom?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Tue, 11 Mar 2025 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/043-the-complexity-of-sex-3A6LNm3I Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • How do I tread the line between being a trigger for my husband and still being sexy and flirty? I used to love wearing lingerie type nightgowns and throughout the day send messages to my husband about plans for our sexy time. But now I’m scared that if I send him a text like this, it will make him have sexual thoughts and he will have urges to act out.
  • When people act out sexually, what are they looking for? (Bondage, role playing… how exotic are we talking?) What does the average couple feel comfortable with sexually?
  • My body desires sex each month after my period. The rest of the month is a huge struggle with mental roadblocks, no physical desire, not feeling safe to engage, or a wall over my heart. I have been struggling to figure out if it’s hormones, betrayal trauma related, or a mixture of both. Why does this happen and how can I move toward having more sexual freedom?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> 043 - The Complexity Of Sex Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:55 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - How do I tread the line between being a trigger for my husband and still being sexy and flirty? I used to love wearing lingerie type nightgowns and throughout the day send messages to my husband about plans for our sexy time. But now I’m scared that if I send him a text like this, it will make him have sexual thoughts and he will have urges to act out. - When people act out sexually, what are they looking for? (Bondage, role playing… how exotic are we talking?) What does the average couple feel comfortable with sexually? - My body desires sex each month after my period. The rest of the month is a huge struggle with mental roadblocks, no physical desire, not feeling safe to engage, or a wall over my heart. I have been struggling to figure out if it’s hormones, betrayal trauma related, or a mixture of both. Why does this happen and how can I move toward having more sexual freedom? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - How do I tread the line between being a trigger for my husband and still being sexy and flirty? I used to love wearing lingerie type nightgowns and throughout the day send messages to my husband about plans for our sexy time. But now I’m scared that if I send him a text like this, it will make him have sexual thoughts and he will have urges to act out. - When people act out sexually, what are they looking for? (Bondage, role playing… how exotic are we talking?) What does the average couple feel comfortable with sexually? - My body desires sex each month after my period. The rest of the month is a huge struggle with mental roadblocks, no physical desire, not feeling safe to engage, or a wall over my heart. I have been struggling to figure out if it’s hormones, betrayal trauma related, or a mixture of both. Why does this happen and how can I move toward having more sexual freedom? false full 43 7de9d72e-9ebe-4d67-b67c-a4f29067f116 042 - How Can an Addicted Husband Lead? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I'm the addict spouse, and I've had a porn addiction since I was 11 years old (I'm 26 now). I've struggled with sexual addiction well before my wife and I met. I'm in recovery and making progress, but it’s still a very present struggle. How do I lead in my marriage when I feel like I'm not good enough in this area? Or perhaps from my wife's perspective, how can a wife follow a husband who struggles with addiction when it feels like she's the one who's more mature?
  • What are some good indications of faked recovery for the betrayer? What are some examples of white knuckling? Are acting in behaviors abusive too? What are some examples of acting in behaviors?
  • My husband failed his polygraph and insists he isn't hiding anything. Now what?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 4 Mar 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/042-how-can-an-addicted-husband-lead-tpZO_rMG Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I'm the addict spouse, and I've had a porn addiction since I was 11 years old (I'm 26 now). I've struggled with sexual addiction well before my wife and I met. I'm in recovery and making progress, but it’s still a very present struggle. How do I lead in my marriage when I feel like I'm not good enough in this area? Or perhaps from my wife's perspective, how can a wife follow a husband who struggles with addiction when it feels like she's the one who's more mature?
  • What are some good indications of faked recovery for the betrayer? What are some examples of white knuckling? Are acting in behaviors abusive too? What are some examples of acting in behaviors?
  • My husband failed his polygraph and insists he isn't hiding anything. Now what?

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> 042 - How Can an Addicted Husband Lead? Pure Desire Ministries 00:20:59 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - I'm the addict spouse, and I've had a porn addiction since I was 11 years old (I'm 26 now). I've struggled with sexual addiction well before my wife and I met. I'm in recovery and making progress, but it’s still a very present struggle. How do I lead in my marriage when I feel like I'm not good enough in this area? Or perhaps from my wife's perspective, how can a wife follow a husband who struggles with addiction when it feels like she's the one who's more mature? - What are some good indications of faked recovery for the betrayer? What are some examples of white knuckling? Are acting in behaviors abusive too? What are some examples of acting in behaviors? - My husband failed his polygraph and insists he isn't hiding anything. Now what? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - I'm the addict spouse, and I've had a porn addiction since I was 11 years old (I'm 26 now). I've struggled with sexual addiction well before my wife and I met. I'm in recovery and making progress, but it’s still a very present struggle. How do I lead in my marriage when I feel like I'm not good enough in this area? Or perhaps from my wife's perspective, how can a wife follow a husband who struggles with addiction when it feels like she's the one who's more mature? - What are some good indications of faked recovery for the betrayer? What are some examples of white knuckling? Are acting in behaviors abusive too? What are some examples of acting in behaviors? - My husband failed his polygraph and insists he isn't hiding anything. Now what? false full 42 130a9e8e-7e82-45fb-b032-e8d0bb38e91b 041 - I think I'm Done With This Marriage Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I’m 62 years old and found out about my husbands porn addiction over 6 years ago. He had disclosed to me that he had been masturbating and using porn since he was 12 years old. It was devastating. We’ve sought help in many areas: from our church, groups, and counseling. The problem: my husband has never been able to achieve sobriety, ever. He has never stopped using porn and masturbating. I don’t know what should happen now, if anything? I feel exhausted, trapped, and beat down from this life.
  • Betrayal has been a part of our relationship since before we were married, and only when it happened this third time (that I’m aware of), I realized this man has not changed and is not working on changing. When I challenged him on this he dug his heels in even harder and became cruel with me like I had never seen before. We’re separated and I’m planning to file for divorce. But something is holding me back. I know women who are choosing to stay in situations similar to mine. I have peace with God in my heart about my decision to go. I feel there are biblical grounds for divorce in my case, but I’m just scared to officially pull the trigger.
  • We had set a boundary against porn before our marriage. Since finding out about his secret porn use, why should I stay and give him another chance when he already broke that boundary?

Resources:

PD Podcast Episode About Divorce 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> Tue, 25 Feb 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/041-i-think-im-done-with-this-marriage-M7dxr_Ds Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I’m 62 years old and found out about my husbands porn addiction over 6 years ago. He had disclosed to me that he had been masturbating and using porn since he was 12 years old. It was devastating. We’ve sought help in many areas: from our church, groups, and counseling. The problem: my husband has never been able to achieve sobriety, ever. He has never stopped using porn and masturbating. I don’t know what should happen now, if anything? I feel exhausted, trapped, and beat down from this life.
  • Betrayal has been a part of our relationship since before we were married, and only when it happened this third time (that I’m aware of), I realized this man has not changed and is not working on changing. When I challenged him on this he dug his heels in even harder and became cruel with me like I had never seen before. We’re separated and I’m planning to file for divorce. But something is holding me back. I know women who are choosing to stay in situations similar to mine. I have peace with God in my heart about my decision to go. I feel there are biblical grounds for divorce in my case, but I’m just scared to officially pull the trigger.
  • We had set a boundary against porn before our marriage. Since finding out about his secret porn use, why should I stay and give him another chance when he already broke that boundary?

Resources:

PD Podcast Episode About Divorce 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 041 - I think I'm Done With This Marriage Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:10 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - I’m 62 years old and found out about my husbands porn addiction over 6 years ago. He had disclosed to me that he had been masturbating and using porn since he was 12 years old. It was devastating. We’ve sought help in many areas: from our church, groups, and counseling. The problem: my husband has never been able to achieve sobriety, ever. He has never stopped using porn and masturbating. I don’t know what should happen now, if anything? I feel exhausted, trapped, and beat down from this life. - Betrayal has been a part of our relationship since before we were married, and only when it happened this third time (that I’m aware of), I realized this man has not changed and is not working on changing. When I challenged him on this he dug his heels in even harder and became cruel with me like I had never seen before. We’re separated and I’m planning to file for divorce. But something is holding me back. I know women who are choosing to stay in situations similar to mine. I have peace with God in my heart about my decision to go. I feel there are biblical grounds for divorce in my case, but I’m just scared to officially pull the trigger. - We had set a boundary against porn before our marriage. Since finding out about his secret porn use, why should I stay and give him another chance when he already broke that boundary? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - I’m 62 years old and found out about my husbands porn addiction over 6 years ago. He had disclosed to me that he had been masturbating and using porn since he was 12 years old. It was devastating. We’ve sought help in many areas: from our church, groups, and counseling. The problem: my husband has never been able to achieve sobriety, ever. He has never stopped using porn and masturbating. I don’t know what should happen now, if anything? I feel exhausted, trapped, and beat down from this life. - Betrayal has been a part of our relationship since before we were married, and only when it happened this third time (that I’m aware of), I realized this man has not changed and is not working on changing. When I challenged him on this he dug his heels in even harder and became cruel with me like I had never seen before. We’re separated and I’m planning to file for divorce. But something is holding me back. I know women who are choosing to stay in situations similar to mine. I have peace with God in my heart about my decision to go. I feel there are biblical grounds for divorce in my case, but I’m just scared to officially pull the trigger. - We had set a boundary against porn before our marriage. Since finding out about his secret porn use, why should I stay and give him another chance when he already broke that boundary? false full 41 d80e30a1-e75a-415b-9fb5-049d1602832c 040 - What Do I Do After An Affair? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • How do I start a discussion with my husband? He's now bringing up that he thinks I was unfaithful to him 10 years ago. He is currently texting with a girl that he used to text with in a sexual context 4 months ago. He says it's no longer sexual, just small talk and he's shown me some of the messages.
  • I felt neglected when he was deep in his addiction, and I had a one-night stand. How do we restore our relationship?
  • After years in recovery, my husband is still triggered by some of my behaviors that remind him of when I was having an affair. He did trauma therapy for years and has a lot of tools he uses to work through triggers, but sometimes gets stuck. How can I help him when I’m the source of his triggers?

Resources:

3 Circles Tool (Relapse Prevention Tool)

Unraveled

Betrayal & Beyond

7 Pillars

Compassionate Warrior

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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Follow us on X (Twitter)


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]]> Tue, 18 Feb 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/040-what-do-i-do-after-an-affair-UnWdnz2_ Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • How do I start a discussion with my husband? He's now bringing up that he thinks I was unfaithful to him 10 years ago. He is currently texting with a girl that he used to text with in a sexual context 4 months ago. He says it's no longer sexual, just small talk and he's shown me some of the messages.
  • I felt neglected when he was deep in his addiction, and I had a one-night stand. How do we restore our relationship?
  • After years in recovery, my husband is still triggered by some of my behaviors that remind him of when I was having an affair. He did trauma therapy for years and has a lot of tools he uses to work through triggers, but sometimes gets stuck. How can I help him when I’m the source of his triggers?

Resources:

3 Circles Tool (Relapse Prevention Tool)

Unraveled

Betrayal & Beyond

7 Pillars

Compassionate Warrior

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 040 - What Do I Do After An Affair? Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:37 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - How do I start a discussion with my husband? He's now bringing up that he thinks I was unfaithful to him 10 years ago. He is currently texting with a girl that he used to text with in a sexual context 4 months ago. He says it's no longer sexual, just small talk and he's shown me some of the messages. - I felt neglected when he was deep in his addiction, and I had a one-night stand. How do we restore our relationship? - After years in recovery, my husband is still triggered by some of my behaviors that remind him of when I was having an affair. He did trauma therapy for years and has a lot of tools he uses to work through triggers, but sometimes gets stuck. How can I help him when I’m the source of his triggers? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - How do I start a discussion with my husband? He's now bringing up that he thinks I was unfaithful to him 10 years ago. He is currently texting with a girl that he used to text with in a sexual context 4 months ago. He says it's no longer sexual, just small talk and he's shown me some of the messages. - I felt neglected when he was deep in his addiction, and I had a one-night stand. How do we restore our relationship? - After years in recovery, my husband is still triggered by some of my behaviors that remind him of when I was having an affair. He did trauma therapy for years and has a lot of tools he uses to work through triggers, but sometimes gets stuck. How can I help him when I’m the source of his triggers? false full 40 6db37391-291f-4432-a389-7ae039af3a93 039 - How Do I Support My Addicted Husband? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • Do I have to have sex whenever he wants it to keep him from temptation?
  • My husband is working on his recovery, but he says he needs me to be more supportive. I’m crushed and angry. How can I tell him I am unable to cheer him on right now?
  • Is it true that men only feel intimacy through sex?

Resources:

Find All Our Episodes On YouTube

Join A Group

All Of Our Books

Free Counseling Consultation 

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 11 Feb 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/039-how-do-i-support-my-addicted-husband-F_3AuLzp Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • Do I have to have sex whenever he wants it to keep him from temptation?
  • My husband is working on his recovery, but he says he needs me to be more supportive. I’m crushed and angry. How can I tell him I am unable to cheer him on right now?
  • Is it true that men only feel intimacy through sex?

Resources:

Find All Our Episodes On YouTube

Join A Group

All Of Our Books

Free Counseling Consultation 

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 039 - How Do I Support My Addicted Husband? Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:13 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Do I have to have sex whenever he wants it to keep him from temptation? - My husband is working on his recovery, but he says he needs me to be more supportive. I’m crushed and angry. How can I tell him I am unable to cheer him on right now? - Is it true that men only feel intimacy through sex? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Do I have to have sex whenever he wants it to keep him from temptation? - My husband is working on his recovery, but he says he needs me to be more supportive. I’m crushed and angry. How can I tell him I am unable to cheer him on right now? - Is it true that men only feel intimacy through sex? false full 39 c9a47911-ba6c-411e-9d41-069590ec95b1 038 - Let's Talk About Control & Manipulation  Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • What is the difference between being controlling and setting boundaries?
  • We are 6 years into recovery from my infidelity. My husband still associates my drinking with me being unfaithful. We've had to work through his controlling tendencies and unintentional manipulation in our recovery process. He is definitely more important than alcohol, but if I say I’m not going to drink, I feel like it’s giving into his controlling tendencies and I want to have the freedom to make that decision on my own. Is it really even about the alcohol?
  • When we got married, my husband had a sex addiction that I didn’t know about. He used me for years for his pleasure. Coercing me to get what he wanted. Eventually he divorced me so he was “free” to act out sexually any way he wanted. In recent years he’s been in recovery and we remarried, with no guarantee that I will ever be able to be sexual with him. How do we navigate sex after addiction, divorce, and remarriage?

Resources:

Find All Our Episodes On YouTube

Join A Group

All Of Our Books

Free Counseling Consultation 

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Tue, 4 Feb 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/038-lets-talk-about-control-manipulation-oR8Xswry  Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • What is the difference between being controlling and setting boundaries?
  • We are 6 years into recovery from my infidelity. My husband still associates my drinking with me being unfaithful. We've had to work through his controlling tendencies and unintentional manipulation in our recovery process. He is definitely more important than alcohol, but if I say I’m not going to drink, I feel like it’s giving into his controlling tendencies and I want to have the freedom to make that decision on my own. Is it really even about the alcohol?
  • When we got married, my husband had a sex addiction that I didn’t know about. He used me for years for his pleasure. Coercing me to get what he wanted. Eventually he divorced me so he was “free” to act out sexually any way he wanted. In recent years he’s been in recovery and we remarried, with no guarantee that I will ever be able to be sexual with him. How do we navigate sex after addiction, divorce, and remarriage?

Resources:

Find All Our Episodes On YouTube

Join A Group

All Of Our Books

Free Counseling Consultation 

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 038 - Let's Talk About Control & Manipulation Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:41 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - What is the difference between being controlling and setting boundaries? - We are 6 years into recovery from my infidelity. My husband still associates my drinking with me being unfaithful. We've had to work through his controlling tendencies and unintentional manipulation in our recovery process. He is definitely more important than alcohol, but if I say I’m not going to drink, I feel like it’s giving into his controlling tendencies and I want to have the freedom to make that decision on my own. Is it really even about the alcohol? - When we got married, my husband had a sex addiction that I didn’t know about. He used me for years for his pleasure. Coercing me to get what he wanted. Eventually he divorced me so he was “free” to act out sexually any way he wanted. In recent years he’s been in recovery and we remarried, with no guarantee that I will ever be able to be sexual with him. How do we navigate sex after addiction, divorce, and remarriage? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - What is the difference between being controlling and setting boundaries? - We are 6 years into recovery from my infidelity. My husband still associates my drinking with me being unfaithful. We've had to work through his controlling tendencies and unintentional manipulation in our recovery process. He is definitely more important than alcohol, but if I say I’m not going to drink, I feel like it’s giving into his controlling tendencies and I want to have the freedom to make that decision on my own. Is it really even about the alcohol? - When we got married, my husband had a sex addiction that I didn’t know about. He used me for years for his pleasure. Coercing me to get what he wanted. Eventually he divorced me so he was “free” to act out sexually any way he wanted. In recent years he’s been in recovery and we remarried, with no guarantee that I will ever be able to be sexual with him. How do we navigate sex after addiction, divorce, and remarriage? false full 38 e22bda27-cc61-47f5-9f4a-1666e3958913 037 - The Do's and Don'ts of Marital Sex (What's Not Okay?) Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • Over 30 years ago, an elderly woman met with one of our pastors to tell him that the Lord had told her that oral sex is a sin. He took it to heart, and preached a whole sermon about its evils. Is oral sex a sin?
  • If both husband and wife agree, is masturbation okay?
  • Is there a sexual act in the marriage bed that's wrong? I've heard on another podcast that anything having to do with a woman's butt shouldn't be done.

Resources:

Find All Our Episodes On YouTube

Join A Group

All Of Our Books

Free Counseling Consultation 

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 30 Jan 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/037-the-dos-and-donts-of-marital-sex-whats-not-okay-Np9T0yyz Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • Over 30 years ago, an elderly woman met with one of our pastors to tell him that the Lord had told her that oral sex is a sin. He took it to heart, and preached a whole sermon about its evils. Is oral sex a sin?
  • If both husband and wife agree, is masturbation okay?
  • Is there a sexual act in the marriage bed that's wrong? I've heard on another podcast that anything having to do with a woman's butt shouldn't be done.

Resources:

Find All Our Episodes On YouTube

Join A Group

All Of Our Books

Free Counseling Consultation 

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 037 - The Do's and Don'ts of Marital Sex (What's Not Okay?) Pure Desire Ministries 00:10:57 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Over 30 years ago, an elderly woman met with one of our pastors to tell him that the Lord had told her that oral sex is a sin. He took it to heart, and preached a whole sermon about its evils. Is oral sex a sin? - If both husband and wife agree, is masturbation okay? - Is there a sexual act in the marriage bed that's wrong? I've heard on another podcast that anything having to do with a woman's butt shouldn't be done. Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Over 30 years ago, an elderly woman met with one of our pastors to tell him that the Lord had told her that oral sex is a sin. He took it to heart, and preached a whole sermon about its evils. Is oral sex a sin? - If both husband and wife agree, is masturbation okay? - Is there a sexual act in the marriage bed that's wrong? I've heard on another podcast that anything having to do with a woman's butt shouldn't be done. false full 37 91e679a7-60f2-45db-89a4-e3bbfbf00f81 036 - Porn is Destroying My Marriage…What do I do? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • Why does my spouse's porn use and inappropriate sexual behavior feel so personal (even though it’s not)? Understanding this has been one of the hardest parts of my journey.
  • My husband has, what I'll call, a porn addiction induced inability to orgasm. What I would like to know, is this fixable? He is in a Pure Desire group right now and just started Seven Pillars. If it is fixable, what do we need to do? How do we fix it?
  • My husband recently told me he's not physically attracted to me anymore, even though he loves me dearly, and I have no idea how to process or move forward from this. I just had our second baby and was already feeling insecure about the way my body has changed. He's about 6 years into his recovery from a porn addiction. He's a wonderful and caring husband in most other areas. I don't know how to be around him, much less have sex with him! I can't just relax in my own skin in my own home with the person who's supposed to be my safest place.

Resources:

Full Episode on Youtube

IITAP Counseling

FREE PD Counseling Consultation

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 23 Jan 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/036-porn-is-destroying-my-marriagewhat-do-i-do-6KVS32rJ Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • Why does my spouse's porn use and inappropriate sexual behavior feel so personal (even though it’s not)? Understanding this has been one of the hardest parts of my journey.
  • My husband has, what I'll call, a porn addiction induced inability to orgasm. What I would like to know, is this fixable? He is in a Pure Desire group right now and just started Seven Pillars. If it is fixable, what do we need to do? How do we fix it?
  • My husband recently told me he's not physically attracted to me anymore, even though he loves me dearly, and I have no idea how to process or move forward from this. I just had our second baby and was already feeling insecure about the way my body has changed. He's about 6 years into his recovery from a porn addiction. He's a wonderful and caring husband in most other areas. I don't know how to be around him, much less have sex with him! I can't just relax in my own skin in my own home with the person who's supposed to be my safest place.

Resources:

Full Episode on Youtube

IITAP Counseling

FREE PD Counseling Consultation

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 036 - Porn is Destroying My Marriage…What do I do? Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:34 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Why does my spouse's porn use and inappropriate sexual behavior feel so personal (even though it’s not)? Understanding this has been one of the hardest parts of my journey. - My husband has, what I'll call, a porn addiction induced inability to orgasm. What I would like to know, is this fixable? He is in a Pure Desire group right now and just started Seven Pillars. If it is fixable, what do we need to do? How do we fix it? - My husband recently told me he's not physically attracted to me anymore, even though he loves me dearly, and I have no idea how to process or move forward from this. I just had our second baby and was already feeling insecure about the way my body has changed. He's about 6 years into his recovery from a porn addiction. He's a wonderful and caring husband in most other areas. I don't know how to be around him, much less have sex with him! I can't just relax in my own skin in my own home with the person who's supposed to be my safest place. Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - Why does my spouse's porn use and inappropriate sexual behavior feel so personal (even though it’s not)? Understanding this has been one of the hardest parts of my journey. - My husband has, what I'll call, a porn addiction induced inability to orgasm. What I would like to know, is this fixable? He is in a Pure Desire group right now and just started Seven Pillars. If it is fixable, what do we need to do? How do we fix it? - My husband recently told me he's not physically attracted to me anymore, even though he loves me dearly, and I have no idea how to process or move forward from this. I just had our second baby and was already feeling insecure about the way my body has changed. He's about 6 years into his recovery from a porn addiction. He's a wonderful and caring husband in most other areas. I don't know how to be around him, much less have sex with him! I can't just relax in my own skin in my own home with the person who's supposed to be my safest place. false full 36 b7bc4701-1399-4f1f-8f93-6d274a82881f 035 - Why Support Groups are Essential in Betrayal Healing Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I’m close to completing the Betrayal & Beyond group but it doesn’t seem like our group will continue to interact much after the group ends. I am only 6 months into this journey and still feel like I need the support of a group (especially since no one in my real life knows about this issue). If the recovery process is 3-5 years, what do y’all recommend for continued connection after Betrayal & Beyond? Are there effective ways to try to get our current group to keep connecting? How can I keep building the support I need in my recovery (beyond individual therapy which I do already)?
  • My husband and I interact with other couples who've been through Betrayal & Beyond, Conquer Series, Seven Pillars, marriage counseling, etc. What can I say to the betrayed wives who don't want to let go of the anger, or they don't want to forgive their husband? Most husbands are actively trying to stay sober, but the wives feel like they are entitled to stay bitter. My healing journey is a success, because my husband's recovery is a success. My husband says his recovery is a success because my healing is a success. How do I share this with wives with sensitivity, but not come off as holier than thou?
  • How do I help the women in my group who are already divorced? Do you have much in the way of resources for them?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Help Them Heal Book

Unraveled

Divorce Care

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

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]]> Thu, 16 Jan 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/035-why-support-groups-are-essential-in-betrayal-healing-8J83I_40 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I’m close to completing the Betrayal & Beyond group but it doesn’t seem like our group will continue to interact much after the group ends. I am only 6 months into this journey and still feel like I need the support of a group (especially since no one in my real life knows about this issue). If the recovery process is 3-5 years, what do y’all recommend for continued connection after Betrayal & Beyond? Are there effective ways to try to get our current group to keep connecting? How can I keep building the support I need in my recovery (beyond individual therapy which I do already)?
  • My husband and I interact with other couples who've been through Betrayal & Beyond, Conquer Series, Seven Pillars, marriage counseling, etc. What can I say to the betrayed wives who don't want to let go of the anger, or they don't want to forgive their husband? Most husbands are actively trying to stay sober, but the wives feel like they are entitled to stay bitter. My healing journey is a success, because my husband's recovery is a success. My husband says his recovery is a success because my healing is a success. How do I share this with wives with sensitivity, but not come off as holier than thou?
  • How do I help the women in my group who are already divorced? Do you have much in the way of resources for them?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Help Them Heal Book

Unraveled

Divorce Care

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 035 - Why Support Groups are Essential in Betrayal Healing Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:45 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - I’m close to completing the Betrayal & Beyond group but it doesn’t seem like our group will continue to interact much after the group ends. I am only 6 months into this journey and still feel like I need the support of a group (especially since no one in my real life knows about this issue). If the recovery process is 3-5 years, what do y’all recommend for continued connection after Betrayal & Beyond? Are there effective ways to try to get our current group to keep connecting? How can I keep building the support I need in my recovery (beyond individual therapy which I do already)? - My husband and I interact with other couples who've been through Betrayal & Beyond, Conquer Series, Seven Pillars, marriage counseling, etc. What can I say to the betrayed wives who don't want to let go of the anger, or they don't want to forgive their husband? Most husbands are actively trying to stay sober, but the wives feel like they are entitled to stay bitter. My healing journey is a success, because my husband's recovery is a success. My husband says his recovery is a success because my healing is a success. How do I share this with wives with sensitivity, but not come off as holier than thou? - How do I help the women in my group who are already divorced? Do you have much in the way of resources for them? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - I’m close to completing the Betrayal & Beyond group but it doesn’t seem like our group will continue to interact much after the group ends. I am only 6 months into this journey and still feel like I need the support of a group (especially since no one in my real life knows about this issue). If the recovery process is 3-5 years, what do y’all recommend for continued connection after Betrayal & Beyond? Are there effective ways to try to get our current group to keep connecting? How can I keep building the support I need in my recovery (beyond individual therapy which I do already)? - My husband and I interact with other couples who've been through Betrayal & Beyond, Conquer Series, Seven Pillars, marriage counseling, etc. What can I say to the betrayed wives who don't want to let go of the anger, or they don't want to forgive their husband? Most husbands are actively trying to stay sober, but the wives feel like they are entitled to stay bitter. My healing journey is a success, because my husband's recovery is a success. My husband says his recovery is a success because my healing is a success. How do I share this with wives with sensitivity, but not come off as holier than thou? - How do I help the women in my group who are already divorced? Do you have much in the way of resources for them? false full 35 421ba160-daab-4bea-9f12-ac33b920b3d8 034 - Navigating Anger and Lack of Attraction During Sex Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I feel rage every time I have sex with my husband. I am angry about how he took advantage of me all these years by having sex with himself and stealing my sex. I do NOT want him to feel any pleasure because he has already stolen enough pleasure for a lifetime through abusive behaviors. How can I possibly move forward in this relationship? And I’m a woman who likes sex.
  • I am severely unattracted to my husband. He has acted out for our entire marriage, lying about it and pretending to be someone different. He walks around fantasizing that some woman will save him because he is so insecure. I am attracted to men with emotional and spiritual maturity, and a strength that comes from their inner being. Now I just see him as a nerdy teenage boy and I don’t know how to move past this. What should I do?
  • Since my husband stepped into recovery, he is entirely different sexually. He used to never arrive during intercourse and now he climaxes so abruptly. This makes me angry. I confronted him numerous times during our marriage about his sexual issues in bed and he always lied and gaslit me about it. Now, our sexual relationship is totally different and I’m angry about it. How am I supposed to forgive 14 years of his lying, manipulating, and behaving like a child?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Shelia Wray Gregoire Courses

 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 9 Jan 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/034-navigating-anger-and-lack-of-attraction-during-sex-ZiZiQiSF Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I feel rage every time I have sex with my husband. I am angry about how he took advantage of me all these years by having sex with himself and stealing my sex. I do NOT want him to feel any pleasure because he has already stolen enough pleasure for a lifetime through abusive behaviors. How can I possibly move forward in this relationship? And I’m a woman who likes sex.
  • I am severely unattracted to my husband. He has acted out for our entire marriage, lying about it and pretending to be someone different. He walks around fantasizing that some woman will save him because he is so insecure. I am attracted to men with emotional and spiritual maturity, and a strength that comes from their inner being. Now I just see him as a nerdy teenage boy and I don’t know how to move past this. What should I do?
  • Since my husband stepped into recovery, he is entirely different sexually. He used to never arrive during intercourse and now he climaxes so abruptly. This makes me angry. I confronted him numerous times during our marriage about his sexual issues in bed and he always lied and gaslit me about it. Now, our sexual relationship is totally different and I’m angry about it. How am I supposed to forgive 14 years of his lying, manipulating, and behaving like a child?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Shelia Wray Gregoire Courses

 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 034 - Navigating Anger and Lack of Attraction During Sex Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:40 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - I feel rage every time I have sex with my husband. I am angry about how he took advantage of me all these years by having sex with himself and stealing my sex. I do NOT want him to feel any pleasure because he has already stolen enough pleasure for a lifetime through abusive behaviors. How can I possibly move forward in this relationship? And I’m a woman who likes sex. - I am severely unattracted to my husband. He has acted out for our entire marriage, lying about it and pretending to be someone different. He walks around fantasizing that some woman will save him because he is so insecure. I am attracted to men with emotional and spiritual maturity, and a strength that comes from their inner being. Now I just see him as a nerdy teenage boy and I don’t know how to move past this. What should I do? - Since my husband stepped into recovery, he is entirely different sexually. He used to never arrive during intercourse and now he climaxes so abruptly. This makes me angry. I confronted him numerous times during our marriage about his sexual issues in bed and he always lied and gaslit me about it. Now, our sexual relationship is totally different and I’m angry about it. How am I supposed to forgive 14 years of his lying, manipulating, and behaving like a child? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - I feel rage every time I have sex with my husband. I am angry about how he took advantage of me all these years by having sex with himself and stealing my sex. I do NOT want him to feel any pleasure because he has already stolen enough pleasure for a lifetime through abusive behaviors. How can I possibly move forward in this relationship? And I’m a woman who likes sex. - I am severely unattracted to my husband. He has acted out for our entire marriage, lying about it and pretending to be someone different. He walks around fantasizing that some woman will save him because he is so insecure. I am attracted to men with emotional and spiritual maturity, and a strength that comes from their inner being. Now I just see him as a nerdy teenage boy and I don’t know how to move past this. What should I do? - Since my husband stepped into recovery, he is entirely different sexually. He used to never arrive during intercourse and now he climaxes so abruptly. This makes me angry. I confronted him numerous times during our marriage about his sexual issues in bed and he always lied and gaslit me about it. Now, our sexual relationship is totally different and I’m angry about it. How am I supposed to forgive 14 years of his lying, manipulating, and behaving like a child? false full 34 cf3f391d-30c6-43db-9ccb-74012d511373 033 - Handling Unique Betrayal Situations Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I'm in a Betrayal & Beyond group and it's been great for healing BUT my question is, where do I fit in as the girlfriend? How do I approach a Safety Action Plan when I'm not a spouse and don't really know about relapses or anything in that space?
  • We just had our 31st anniversary—second one since disclosure. It was rather miserable for me and I felt myself pulling away and closing down, preventing connection. I can’t reflect and enjoy the memory of our day without feeling like all the memories are tainted and full of lies. Do you have any strategies to have these dates, anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, ect., come without all the pain and negative emotions associated with them?
  • Can a marriage be healed and restored if both spouses are not doing a Pure Desire group? My husband is doing SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) and I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group. It would be nice to be doing something that has similar language and would help him understand my betrayal trauma better. Do I need to let it go and realize we will be working on our recovery/healing with different resources?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube 

All Pure Desire Tools

Help Her Heal

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 2 Jan 2025 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/033-handling-unique-betrayal-situations-GfPgy2B0 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I'm in a Betrayal & Beyond group and it's been great for healing BUT my question is, where do I fit in as the girlfriend? How do I approach a Safety Action Plan when I'm not a spouse and don't really know about relapses or anything in that space?
  • We just had our 31st anniversary—second one since disclosure. It was rather miserable for me and I felt myself pulling away and closing down, preventing connection. I can’t reflect and enjoy the memory of our day without feeling like all the memories are tainted and full of lies. Do you have any strategies to have these dates, anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, ect., come without all the pain and negative emotions associated with them?
  • Can a marriage be healed and restored if both spouses are not doing a Pure Desire group? My husband is doing SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) and I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group. It would be nice to be doing something that has similar language and would help him understand my betrayal trauma better. Do I need to let it go and realize we will be working on our recovery/healing with different resources?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube 

All Pure Desire Tools

Help Her Heal

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 033 - Handling Unique Betrayal Situations Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:25 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I'm in a Betrayal & Beyond group and it's been great for healing BUT my question is, where do I fit in as the girlfriend? How do I approach a Safety Action Plan when I'm not a spouse and don't really know about relapses or anything in that space? We just had our 31st anniversary—second one since disclosure. It was rather miserable for me and I felt myself pulling away and closing down, preventing connection. I can’t reflect and enjoy the memory of our day without feeling like all the memories are tainted and full of lies. Do you have any strategies to have these dates, anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, ect., come without all the pain and negative emotions associated with them? Can a marriage be healed and restored if both spouses are not doing a Pure Desire group? My husband is doing SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) and I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group. It would be nice to be doing something that has similar language and would help him understand my betrayal trauma better. Do I need to let it go and realize we will be working on our recovery/healing with different resources? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I'm in a Betrayal & Beyond group and it's been great for healing BUT my question is, where do I fit in as the girlfriend? How do I approach a Safety Action Plan when I'm not a spouse and don't really know about relapses or anything in that space? We just had our 31st anniversary—second one since disclosure. It was rather miserable for me and I felt myself pulling away and closing down, preventing connection. I can’t reflect and enjoy the memory of our day without feeling like all the memories are tainted and full of lies. Do you have any strategies to have these dates, anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, ect., come without all the pain and negative emotions associated with them? Can a marriage be healed and restored if both spouses are not doing a Pure Desire group? My husband is doing SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) and I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group. It would be nice to be doing something that has similar language and would help him understand my betrayal trauma better. Do I need to let it go and realize we will be working on our recovery/healing with different resources? false full 33 1b39b1b0-36bf-4aff-be6d-b1b099e71d4d 032 - Rethinking Sex: Answering Your Unique Sex Questions Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband has cancer and is unable to have an erection without viagra. He's offered to help me achieve orgasm in other ways, but this feels selfish. What do I do?
  • How do you deal with your sex drive after your spouse dies? You ladies talked about prior marriages but does it work the same way with the death of a spouse?
  • How can you make talking about sex with your spouse more comfortable? Right now it just seems very awkward and uncomfortable bringing it up, so neither of us really talk about our needs.

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Sheila Wray Gregoire's Courses

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 26 Dec 2024 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/032-rethinking-sex-answering-your-unique-sex-questions-LXDEDQyR Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband has cancer and is unable to have an erection without viagra. He's offered to help me achieve orgasm in other ways, but this feels selfish. What do I do?
  • How do you deal with your sex drive after your spouse dies? You ladies talked about prior marriages but does it work the same way with the death of a spouse?
  • How can you make talking about sex with your spouse more comfortable? Right now it just seems very awkward and uncomfortable bringing it up, so neither of us really talk about our needs.

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Sheila Wray Gregoire's Courses

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 032 - Rethinking Sex: Answering Your Unique Sex Questions Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:06 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband has cancer and is unable to have an erection without viagra. He's offered to help me achieve orgasm in other ways, but this feels selfish. What do I do? - How do you deal with your sex drive after your spouse dies? You ladies talked about prior marriages but does it work the same way with the death of a spouse? - How can you make talking about sex with your spouse more comfortable? Right now it just seems very awkward and uncomfortable bringing it up, so neither of us really talk about our needs. Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband has cancer and is unable to have an erection without viagra. He's offered to help me achieve orgasm in other ways, but this feels selfish. What do I do? - How do you deal with your sex drive after your spouse dies? You ladies talked about prior marriages but does it work the same way with the death of a spouse? - How can you make talking about sex with your spouse more comfortable? Right now it just seems very awkward and uncomfortable bringing it up, so neither of us really talk about our needs. false full 32 1757609f-0eb9-4545-b7b4-920b077e7d2b 031 - Is Abstinence In Recovery Biblical? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • In porn/sex addiction recovery resources, most of them seem to recommend a celibacy period of at least 90 days. My husband, who is a recovering porn addict, uses 1 Corinthians 7:5 to say that is unbiblical, saying that if we "deprive each other" then we will be more likely to fall into temptation. If the celibacy period is truly something that is worth doing to speed up recovery, how do I combat that argument about him saying it is unbiblical?
  • What about if my husband relapses during those 90 days? What if we give in and have sex during those 90 days? For both of those prior questions, does this mean that the 90 days should start over?
  • What changes happen in the brain due to an abstinence period? Will those changes only happen if someone chooses to do an abstinence period?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Cleaning Up The Mental Mess

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 19 Dec 2024 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/031-is-abstinence-in-recovery-biblical-GVSAiHL7 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • In porn/sex addiction recovery resources, most of them seem to recommend a celibacy period of at least 90 days. My husband, who is a recovering porn addict, uses 1 Corinthians 7:5 to say that is unbiblical, saying that if we "deprive each other" then we will be more likely to fall into temptation. If the celibacy period is truly something that is worth doing to speed up recovery, how do I combat that argument about him saying it is unbiblical?
  • What about if my husband relapses during those 90 days? What if we give in and have sex during those 90 days? For both of those prior questions, does this mean that the 90 days should start over?
  • What changes happen in the brain due to an abstinence period? Will those changes only happen if someone chooses to do an abstinence period?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Cleaning Up The Mental Mess

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 031 - Is Abstinence In Recovery Biblical? Pure Desire Ministries 00:12:06 Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - In porn/sex addiction recovery resources, most of them seem to recommend a celibacy period of at least 90 days. My husband, who is a recovering porn addict, uses 1 Corinthians 7:5 to say that is unbiblical, saying that if we "deprive each other" then we will be more likely to fall into temptation. If the celibacy period is truly something that is worth doing to speed up recovery, how do I combat that argument about him saying it is unbiblical? - What about if my husband relapses during those 90 days? What if we give in and have sex during those 90 days? For both of those prior questions, does this mean that the 90 days should start over? - What changes happen in the brain due to an abstinence period? Will those changes only happen if someone chooses to do an abstinence period? Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - In porn/sex addiction recovery resources, most of them seem to recommend a celibacy period of at least 90 days. My husband, who is a recovering porn addict, uses 1 Corinthians 7:5 to say that is unbiblical, saying that if we "deprive each other" then we will be more likely to fall into temptation. If the celibacy period is truly something that is worth doing to speed up recovery, how do I combat that argument about him saying it is unbiblical? - What about if my husband relapses during those 90 days? What if we give in and have sex during those 90 days? For both of those prior questions, does this mean that the 90 days should start over? - What changes happen in the brain due to an abstinence period? Will those changes only happen if someone chooses to do an abstinence period? false full 31 862cfb99-c680-4c80-81d5-f6f25ca6a17b 030 - Creating Boundaries That Actually Make a Difference Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • What do I do if my boundaries are not honored and my spouse continues to gaslight me and make me feel like the mean one?
  • What is the best way to come up with boundaries and what are some good boundaries?
  • We have been doing "recovery" for 6 years now. My husband cannot go more than 6 months white knuckling sobriety before diving back into addiction—then lying and telling me he’s sober. I’ve tried setting boundaries and consequences, but nothing sticks. I need help.

Resources:

Watch Full Episode On Youtube

Recovery Action Plan Podcast Episode

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

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]]> Thu, 12 Dec 2024 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/030-creating-boundaries-that-actually-make-a-difference-iDP7WWnk Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • What do I do if my boundaries are not honored and my spouse continues to gaslight me and make me feel like the mean one?
  • What is the best way to come up with boundaries and what are some good boundaries?
  • We have been doing "recovery" for 6 years now. My husband cannot go more than 6 months white knuckling sobriety before diving back into addiction—then lying and telling me he’s sober. I’ve tried setting boundaries and consequences, but nothing sticks. I need help.

Resources:

Watch Full Episode On Youtube

Recovery Action Plan Podcast Episode

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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]]> 030 - Creating Boundaries That Actually Make a Difference Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:29 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: What do I do if my boundaries are not honored and my spouse continues to gaslight me and make me feel like the mean one? What is the best way to come up with boundaries and what are some good boundaries? We have been doing "recovery" for 6 years now. My husband cannot go more than 6 months white knuckling sobriety before diving back into addiction—then lying and telling me he’s sober. I’ve tried setting boundaries and consequences, but nothing sticks. I need help. Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: What do I do if my boundaries are not honored and my spouse continues to gaslight me and make me feel like the mean one? What is the best way to come up with boundaries and what are some good boundaries? We have been doing "recovery" for 6 years now. My husband cannot go more than 6 months white knuckling sobriety before diving back into addiction—then lying and telling me he’s sober. I’ve tried setting boundaries and consequences, but nothing sticks. I need help. false full 30 d45b96be-8536-4cf5-ae4d-2f8731e997d0 029 - Who Else is in Your Bedroom? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • How do I stop thinking about the prostitutes my husband was with when he and I have sex? How do I get my head sorted out?
  • Do you ever get to the point where your spouse's past with a prostitute doesn't bother you or will you always experience triggers?
  • What happens when a partner’s porn and sex addiction ends up rearing its ugly head in the marital bedroom?

Resources:

The Resolution For Women

Free Counseling Consultation

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> Fri, 6 Dec 2024 17:25:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/029-who-else-is-in-your-bedroom-OcgnubE2 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • How do I stop thinking about the prostitutes my husband was with when he and I have sex? How do I get my head sorted out?
  • Do you ever get to the point where your spouse's past with a prostitute doesn't bother you or will you always experience triggers?
  • What happens when a partner’s porn and sex addiction ends up rearing its ugly head in the marital bedroom?

Resources:

The Resolution For Women

Free Counseling Consultation

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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]]> 029 - Who Else is in Your Bedroom? Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:49 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: How do I stop thinking about the prostitutes my husband was with when he and I have sex? How do I get my head sorted out? Do you ever get to the point where your spouse's past with a prostitute doesn't bother you or will you always experience triggers? What happens when a partner’s porn and sex addiction ends up rearing its ugly head in the marital bedroom? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: How do I stop thinking about the prostitutes my husband was with when he and I have sex? How do I get my head sorted out? Do you ever get to the point where your spouse's past with a prostitute doesn't bother you or will you always experience triggers? What happens when a partner’s porn and sex addiction ends up rearing its ugly head in the marital bedroom? false full 29 5ffe47c4-f3f1-4413-ab90-697f887e6f35 028 - Will My Husband Always Choose His Addiction Over Me? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband is in a Pure Desire group but does the bare minimum. He says he’s sober and offended that I don’t trust him. He says he will always resent me for asking for a polygraph. Should my husband’s attitude toward me change with recovery?
  • Is it an unrealistic expectation that my husband wouldn't fantasize about other women?
  • Will my husband always be a sex addict and want his addiction more than me?

Listen Now!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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]]> Thu, 28 Nov 2024 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/28-will-my-husband-always-choose-his-addiction-over-me-TgnANv0z Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • My husband is in a Pure Desire group but does the bare minimum. He says he’s sober and offended that I don’t trust him. He says he will always resent me for asking for a polygraph. Should my husband’s attitude toward me change with recovery?
  • Is it an unrealistic expectation that my husband wouldn't fantasize about other women?
  • Will my husband always be a sex addict and want his addiction more than me?

Listen Now!

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 028 - Will My Husband Always Choose His Addiction Over Me? Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:18 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: My husband is in a Pure Desire group but does the bare minimum. He says he’s sober and offended that I don’t trust him. He says he will always resent me for asking for a polygraph. Should my husband’s attitude toward me change with recovery? Is it an unrealistic expectation that my husband wouldn't fantasize about other women? Will my husband always be a sex addict and want his addiction more than me? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: My husband is in a Pure Desire group but does the bare minimum. He says he’s sober and offended that I don’t trust him. He says he will always resent me for asking for a polygraph. Should my husband’s attitude toward me change with recovery? Is it an unrealistic expectation that my husband wouldn't fantasize about other women? Will my husband always be a sex addict and want his addiction more than me? false full 28 471b3c91-af2a-4c4d-90ee-ace449c60f12 027 - Top Questions Women Have About Sexual Abuse Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • How do I process my own betrayal from his porn addiction and abusing my daughters and their friends?
  • How do I reconcile with my daughter, who was sexually abused by her dad, whom I'm still married to?
  • We have not resumed anything sexual, hardly even touching, as we work with a coach on building intimacy emotionally and spiritually in our relationship. I realized recently that I feel like it will be betraying my daughters to enter a sexual relationship with my husband again. Is it possible to recover and heal from all of this?

Resources: 

Full Episode on Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Free Counseling Consultation

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 21 Nov 2024 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/027-top-questions-women-have-about-sexual-abuse-2scM1cWP Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • How do I process my own betrayal from his porn addiction and abusing my daughters and their friends?
  • How do I reconcile with my daughter, who was sexually abused by her dad, whom I'm still married to?
  • We have not resumed anything sexual, hardly even touching, as we work with a coach on building intimacy emotionally and spiritually in our relationship. I realized recently that I feel like it will be betraying my daughters to enter a sexual relationship with my husband again. Is it possible to recover and heal from all of this?

Resources: 

Full Episode on Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Free Counseling Consultation

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 027 - Top Questions Women Have About Sexual Abuse Pure Desire Ministries 00:16:11 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: How do I process my own betrayal from his porn addiction and abusing my daughters and their friends? How do I reconcile with my daughter, who was sexually abused by her dad, whom I'm still married to? We have not resumed anything sexual, hardly even touching, as we work with a coach on building intimacy emotionally and spiritually in our relationship. I realized recently that I feel like it will be betraying my daughters to enter a sexual relationship with my husband again. Is it possible to recover and heal from all of this? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: How do I process my own betrayal from his porn addiction and abusing my daughters and their friends? How do I reconcile with my daughter, who was sexually abused by her dad, whom I'm still married to? We have not resumed anything sexual, hardly even touching, as we work with a coach on building intimacy emotionally and spiritually in our relationship. I realized recently that I feel like it will be betraying my daughters to enter a sexual relationship with my husband again. Is it possible to recover and heal from all of this? false full 27 1b563b5a-36d2-4ff2-a483-50b8ce4d3bf5 026 - The Dark Details of Sexual Fantasy Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and my husband is in a Seven Pillars group. We are working through this painful process. I’m curious about what specifically men are seeking out that they are not being provided with by their partners? Are we talking about specific acts, positions, role playing? I would love to understand what makes pornography better than me.  
  • Part of my addicted spouse’s acting out is using me for sex. When it appears he’s doing work, and sex is back in the picture, he goes to cruise control and stops doing his recovery work. Then I feel unsafe and uncared for and used, and he gets upset, and the cycle starts all over again. What would you advise?
  • Although my husband is not engaging in porn or masturbation, he does engage in “flashes” and fantasy while having sex with me. He says this is not breaking his sobriety, and according to our counselor it is. I feel violated, used, and betrayed. Can you help me understand more about the issues of “flashes” and fantasy?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 14 Nov 2024 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/026-the-dark-details-of-sexual-fantasy-l4ujSEpW Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and my husband is in a Seven Pillars group. We are working through this painful process. I’m curious about what specifically men are seeking out that they are not being provided with by their partners? Are we talking about specific acts, positions, role playing? I would love to understand what makes pornography better than me.  
  • Part of my addicted spouse’s acting out is using me for sex. When it appears he’s doing work, and sex is back in the picture, he goes to cruise control and stops doing his recovery work. Then I feel unsafe and uncared for and used, and he gets upset, and the cycle starts all over again. What would you advise?
  • Although my husband is not engaging in porn or masturbation, he does engage in “flashes” and fantasy while having sex with me. He says this is not breaking his sobriety, and according to our counselor it is. I feel violated, used, and betrayed. Can you help me understand more about the issues of “flashes” and fantasy?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 026 - The Dark Details of Sexual Fantasy Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:43 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and my husband is in a Seven Pillars group. We are working through this painful process. I’m curious about what specifically men are seeking out that they are not being provided with by their partners? Are we talking about specific acts, positions, role playing? I would love to understand what makes pornography better than me. Part of my addicted spouse’s acting out is using me for sex. When it appears he’s doing work, and sex is back in the picture, he goes to cruise control and stops doing his recovery work. Then I feel unsafe and uncared for and used, and he gets upset, and the cycle starts all over again. What would you advise? Although my husband is not engaging in porn or masturbation, he does engage in “flashes” and fantasy while having sex with me. He says this is not breaking his sobriety, and according to our counselor it is. I feel violated, used, and betrayed. Can you help me understand more about the issues of “flashes” and fantasy? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and my husband is in a Seven Pillars group. We are working through this painful process. I’m curious about what specifically men are seeking out that they are not being provided with by their partners? Are we talking about specific acts, positions, role playing? I would love to understand what makes pornography better than me. Part of my addicted spouse’s acting out is using me for sex. When it appears he’s doing work, and sex is back in the picture, he goes to cruise control and stops doing his recovery work. Then I feel unsafe and uncared for and used, and he gets upset, and the cycle starts all over again. What would you advise? Although my husband is not engaging in porn or masturbation, he does engage in “flashes” and fantasy while having sex with me. He says this is not breaking his sobriety, and according to our counselor it is. I feel violated, used, and betrayed. Can you help me understand more about the issues of “flashes” and fantasy? false full 26 f0f845dd-52bf-47a2-8d50-fb2a95b40905 025 - The Emotional Impact of Sex Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • When my husband's secret affair life was exposed, I felt like I had to have sex all of the time to keep him from cheating. Now, he doesn't know how to have sex (or true intimacy) because sex was always "done to him." How do we work through all of this?
  • How do I deal with my husband not being sexually interested in me?
  • My husband is doing well with his recovery, but I can't get past feeling violated and having attacks on my mind during sex. What should I do?

Resources:

Pure Desire Podcast For Sex During Recovery

Peace Beyond The Tears

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 7 Nov 2024 10:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/25-the-mental-impact-of-sex-Gd1T7LMj Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • When my husband's secret affair life was exposed, I felt like I had to have sex all of the time to keep him from cheating. Now, he doesn't know how to have sex (or true intimacy) because sex was always "done to him." How do we work through all of this?
  • How do I deal with my husband not being sexually interested in me?
  • My husband is doing well with his recovery, but I can't get past feeling violated and having attacks on my mind during sex. What should I do?

Resources:

Pure Desire Podcast For Sex During Recovery

Peace Beyond The Tears

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 025 - The Emotional Impact of Sex Pure Desire Ministries 00:26:22 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: When my husband's secret affair life was exposed, I felt like I had to have sex all of the time to keep him from cheating. Now, he doesn't know how to have sex (or true intimacy) because sex was always "done to him." How do we work through all of this? How do I deal with my husband not being sexually interested in me? My husband is doing well with his recovery, but I can't get past feeling violated and having attacks on my mind during sex. What should I do? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: When my husband's secret affair life was exposed, I felt like I had to have sex all of the time to keep him from cheating. Now, he doesn't know how to have sex (or true intimacy) because sex was always "done to him." How do we work through all of this? How do I deal with my husband not being sexually interested in me? My husband is doing well with his recovery, but I can't get past feeling violated and having attacks on my mind during sex. What should I do? false full 25 646fcf82-21de-4e6c-82c0-2cab1fbd2c2a 024 - One Sided Healing Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I'm the only one in my group whose husband is not working on recovery or counseling of any kind. How do I navigate this, not manipulate or give ultimatums, and keep myself safe as I engage in this healing process alone?
  • For me to feel safe and start rebuilding trust, I’ve asked to see my husband’s emails, but he refuses. He won’t join a men’s recovery group. I don’t know how to deal with this. Am I being unreasonable? I keep thinking something else is coming.
  • After years of deception, affairs, porn use, and who knows what, I finally had my breaking point. He was willing to walk away rather than work through it. He could never tell me why. I struggle every day with the why's… And I struggle in support groups because so many are still together, working through it together. Is there such a thing as unresolved betrayal trauma? How do I heal without all the answers?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 31 Oct 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/24-one-sided-healing-PZ_xLTj3 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I'm the only one in my group whose husband is not working on recovery or counseling of any kind. How do I navigate this, not manipulate or give ultimatums, and keep myself safe as I engage in this healing process alone?
  • For me to feel safe and start rebuilding trust, I’ve asked to see my husband’s emails, but he refuses. He won’t join a men’s recovery group. I don’t know how to deal with this. Am I being unreasonable? I keep thinking something else is coming.
  • After years of deception, affairs, porn use, and who knows what, I finally had my breaking point. He was willing to walk away rather than work through it. He could never tell me why. I struggle every day with the why's… And I struggle in support groups because so many are still together, working through it together. Is there such a thing as unresolved betrayal trauma? How do I heal without all the answers?

Resources:

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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]]> 024 - One Sided Healing Pure Desire Ministries 00:24:03 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I'm the only one in my group whose husband is not working on recovery or counseling of any kind. How do I navigate this, not manipulate or give ultimatums, and keep myself safe as I engage in this healing process alone? For me to feel safe and start rebuilding trust, I’ve asked to see my husband’s emails, but he refuses. He won’t join a men’s recovery group. I don’t know how to deal with this. Am I being unreasonable? I keep thinking something else is coming. After years of deception, affairs, porn use, and who knows what, I finally had my breaking point. He was willing to walk away rather than work through it. He could never tell me why. I struggle every day with the why's… And I struggle in support groups because so many are still together, working through it together. Is there such a thing as unresolved betrayal trauma? How do I heal without all the answers? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I'm the only one in my group whose husband is not working on recovery or counseling of any kind. How do I navigate this, not manipulate or give ultimatums, and keep myself safe as I engage in this healing process alone? For me to feel safe and start rebuilding trust, I’ve asked to see my husband’s emails, but he refuses. He won’t join a men’s recovery group. I don’t know how to deal with this. Am I being unreasonable? I keep thinking something else is coming. After years of deception, affairs, porn use, and who knows what, I finally had my breaking point. He was willing to walk away rather than work through it. He could never tell me why. I struggle every day with the why's… And I struggle in support groups because so many are still together, working through it together. Is there such a thing as unresolved betrayal trauma? How do I heal without all the answers? false full 24 7f2d74cc-d9cd-4fd4-8c33-e4fd35e09d9d 023 - Parenting While In Recovery (Part 2) Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.  In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?
  • Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?
  • How can I help my kids who struggle? (not just boys, but girls struggle too)

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> Thu, 24 Oct 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/023-parenting-while-in-recovery-part-2-ZauBtYrP Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.  In this episode, we answer these questions:

  • As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?
  • Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?
  • How can I help my kids who struggle? (not just boys, but girls struggle too)

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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SOCIALS

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]]> 023 - Parenting While In Recovery (Part 2) Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:53 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids? - Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally? - How can I help my kids who struggle? (not just boys, but girls struggle too) Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: - As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids? - Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally? - How can I help my kids who struggle? (not just boys, but girls struggle too) false full 23 a40065b1-1ce9-419d-900d-72dee559a684 022 - Parenting While In Recovery Part 1 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?
  • Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?
  • How can I help my kids who struggle?

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 17 Oct 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/022-parenting-while-in-recovery-part-1-peuAd6FC Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?
  • Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?
  • How can I help my kids who struggle?

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 022 - Parenting While In Recovery Part 1 Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:32 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids? Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally? How can I help my kids who struggle? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids? Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally? How can I help my kids who struggle? false full 22 435a1021-85eb-4d05-a4c5-0db2cf1f6e0a 021 - Trading Addictions Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • If we struggle with addictions, why can’t we just quit cold-turkey? 
  • How long will it take to fully recover from addictive behaviors?
  • How can the Three Circles tool help?

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Three Circles Tool 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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SOCIALS

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]]> Thu, 10 Oct 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/021-trading-addictions-6LhQx_iR Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • If we struggle with addictions, why can’t we just quit cold-turkey? 
  • How long will it take to fully recover from addictive behaviors?
  • How can the Three Circles tool help?

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Three Circles Tool 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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SOCIALS

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]]> 021 - Trading Addictions Pure Desire Ministries 00:20:16 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: If we struggle with addictions, why can’t we just quit cold-turkey? How long will it take to fully recover from addictive behaviors? How can the Three Circles tool help? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: If we struggle with addictions, why can’t we just quit cold-turkey? How long will it take to fully recover from addictive behaviors? How can the Three Circles tool help? false full 21 d2a15662-9f08-4a72-879d-770a37302e9b 020 - Women, the Church, and Shame Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I went to my church for help and left feeling more confused and ashamed. What should I do now?
  • If I’m a woman who struggles, how do I know if I can go to my church for help? 
  • What can churches do to create safe environments for women who need help whether it's their own sexual struggles or betrayal from someone else?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 3 Oct 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/020-women-the-church-and-shame-HUzGhAwP Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I went to my church for help and left feeling more confused and ashamed. What should I do now?
  • If I’m a woman who struggles, how do I know if I can go to my church for help? 
  • What can churches do to create safe environments for women who need help whether it's their own sexual struggles or betrayal from someone else?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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]]> 020 - Women, the Church, and Shame Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:10 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: I went to my church for help and left feeling more confused and ashamed. What should I do now? If I’m a woman who struggles, how do I know if I can go to my church for help? What can churches do to create safe environments for women who need help whether it's their own sexual struggles or betrayal from someone else? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: I went to my church for help and left feeling more confused and ashamed. What should I do now? If I’m a woman who struggles, how do I know if I can go to my church for help? What can churches do to create safe environments for women who need help whether it's their own sexual struggles or betrayal from someone else? false full 20 65dbe99e-6000-4d99-b37b-4ef758e3d2dd 019 - I Relapsed Last Weekend Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I relapsed last weekend and feel so much shame. How do I pick myself up off the floor?
  • Who do I tell about my relapse?
  • What tools can I use to get back to restoration? 

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org or simply reply to this email. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

(All tools are free on our website - https://puredesire.org/tools/ )

FASTER Scale 

Crash Site Analysis 

Recovery Action Plan

Three Circles

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 26 Sep 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/019-i-relapsed-last-weekend-JUxm7cmR Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • I relapsed last weekend and feel so much shame. How do I pick myself up off the floor?
  • Who do I tell about my relapse?
  • What tools can I use to get back to restoration? 

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org or simply reply to this email. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

(All tools are free on our website - https://puredesire.org/tools/ )

FASTER Scale 

Crash Site Analysis 

Recovery Action Plan

Three Circles

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 019 - I Relapsed Last Weekend Pure Desire Ministries 00:11:32 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: I relapsed last weekend and feel so much shame. How do I pick myself up off the floor? Who do I tell about my relapse? What tools can I use to get back to restoration? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: I relapsed last weekend and feel so much shame. How do I pick myself up off the floor? Who do I tell about my relapse? What tools can I use to get back to restoration? false full 19 e2702d6f-787c-4902-9834-a56ba76163b5 018 - My Marriage Is A Facade Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Everyone thinks he’s the ideal husband, but I’m miserable. Where do I find help if nobody sees the problem?
  • Why is it so hard to walk away from someone causing me pain?
  • My husband and I are in counseling, and the counselor thinks I’m the one overreacting. What can I do?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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SOCIALS

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]]> Thu, 19 Sep 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/018-my-marriage-is-a-facade-UqUqnqgP Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Everyone thinks he’s the ideal husband, but I’m miserable. Where do I find help if nobody sees the problem?
  • Why is it so hard to walk away from someone causing me pain?
  • My husband and I are in counseling, and the counselor thinks I’m the one overreacting. What can I do?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode On Youtube

Betrayal & Beyond

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Authentically You

Seven Pillars

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> 018 - My Marriage Is A Facade Pure Desire Ministries 00:13:26 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: Everyone thinks he’s the ideal husband, but I’m miserable. Where do I find help if nobody sees the problem? Why is it so hard to walk away from someone causing me pain? My husband and I are in counseling, and the counselor thinks I’m the one overreacting. What can I do? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: Everyone thinks he’s the ideal husband, but I’m miserable. Where do I find help if nobody sees the problem? Why is it so hard to walk away from someone causing me pain? My husband and I are in counseling, and the counselor thinks I’m the one overreacting. What can I do? false full 18 c186e69e-a746-4217-a299-4d7beacf5321 017 - Mom Life - Part 2: As a Struggling Mom Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • How much do I share with my kids?
  • If I tell people about my struggles, will I look like a bad mom? 
  • How do I avoid hurting my kids while I’m recovering? 
  • Will I be able to raise secure kids when I’m such a mess?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode On YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> Thu, 12 Sep 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/017-mom-life-part-2-as-a-struggling-mom-aUc3V9Ol Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • How much do I share with my kids?
  • If I tell people about my struggles, will I look like a bad mom? 
  • How do I avoid hurting my kids while I’m recovering? 
  • Will I be able to raise secure kids when I’m such a mess?

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode On YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 017 - Mom Life - Part 2: As a Struggling Mom Pure Desire Ministries 00:24:43 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: How much do I share with my kids? If I tell people about my struggles, will I look like a bad mom? How do I avoid hurting my kids while I’m recovering? Will I be able to raise secure kids when I’m such a mess? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: How much do I share with my kids? If I tell people about my struggles, will I look like a bad mom? How do I avoid hurting my kids while I’m recovering? Will I be able to raise secure kids when I’m such a mess? false full 17 62dc4429-9e5f-4dfa-b215-a52ece97efbf 016 - Mom Life - Part 1: As a Betrayed Mom Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Since discovery, I can’t seem to function like I did before. I’m crying one minute and angry the next. How long will this last?
  • As a betrayed mom, what steps can I take to begin healing and ensure I don’t take out my pain on my kids?
  • How much do I share with my kids?

P.S. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 5 Sep 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/016-mom-life-part-1-as-a-betrayed-mom-_iA1Q38y Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Since discovery, I can’t seem to function like I did before. I’m crying one minute and angry the next. How long will this last?
  • As a betrayed mom, what steps can I take to begin healing and ensure I don’t take out my pain on my kids?
  • How much do I share with my kids?

P.S. If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 016 - Mom Life - Part 1: As a Betrayed Mom Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:15 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Since discovery, I can’t seem to function like I did before. I’m crying one minute and angry the next. How long will this last? As a betrayed mom, what steps can I take to begin healing and ensure I don’t take out my pain on my kids? How much do I share with my kids? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Since discovery, I can’t seem to function like I did before. I’m crying one minute and angry the next. How long will this last? As a betrayed mom, what steps can I take to begin healing and ensure I don’t take out my pain on my kids? How much do I share with my kids? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org. false full 16 6f0403dd-b03e-4788-ab4d-72f65a71b407 015 - Sex & Single Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • What does it mean to be sexually healthy as a single?
  • What type of boundaries should I have for dating?
  • I’ve heard of the “love cocktail” of chemicals people experience when falling in love. Can a person actually experience withdrawals from feeling in love?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

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]]> Thu, 29 Aug 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/015-sex-single-dHjd2qJB Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • What does it mean to be sexually healthy as a single?
  • What type of boundaries should I have for dating?
  • I’ve heard of the “love cocktail” of chemicals people experience when falling in love. Can a person actually experience withdrawals from feeling in love?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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]]> 015 - Sex & Single Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:54 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: What does it mean to be sexually healthy as a single? What type of boundaries should I have for dating? I’ve heard of the “love cocktail” of chemicals people experience when falling in love. Can a person actually experience withdrawals from feeling in love? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: What does it mean to be sexually healthy as a single? What type of boundaries should I have for dating? I’ve heard of the “love cocktail” of chemicals people experience when falling in love. Can a person actually experience withdrawals from feeling in love? false full 15 8aca3bdd-47cc-4df2-b741-c13e606d505e 014 - Understanding My Thoughts, Feelings, & Behaviors Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • What comes first: thoughts, feelings, or behaviors?
  • I grew up in a home where we didn’t talk about feelings. How can I learn more about feelings, so I can teach my kids about feelings?
  • I struggle with talking about feelings, especially to my husband. What can I do to get better at communicating my feelings?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> Thu, 22 Aug 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/014-understanding-my-thoughts-feelings-behaviors-Q1HhxuTP Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • What comes first: thoughts, feelings, or behaviors?
  • I grew up in a home where we didn’t talk about feelings. How can I learn more about feelings, so I can teach my kids about feelings?
  • I struggle with talking about feelings, especially to my husband. What can I do to get better at communicating my feelings?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> 014 - Understanding My Thoughts, Feelings, & Behaviors Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:51 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: What comes first: thoughts, feelings, or behaviors? I grew up in a home where we didn’t talk about feelings. How can I learn more about feelings, so I can teach my kids about feelings? I struggle with talking about feelings, especially to my husband. What can I do to get better at communicating my feelings? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: What comes first: thoughts, feelings, or behaviors? I grew up in a home where we didn’t talk about feelings. How can I learn more about feelings, so I can teach my kids about feelings? I struggle with talking about feelings, especially to my husband. What can I do to get better at communicating my feelings? false full 14 8efff699-5880-4570-9175-293c3b94ab3a 013 - Sex After Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I could go the rest of my life without sex. Is this normal?
  • My husband is sexually anorexic. What does this say about me?
  • Does the Bible really tell us we can’t withhold sex from our husbands?

Resources

The Great Sex Rescue, by Sheila Wray Gregoire

Betrayal & Beyond

Full Episode on YouTube

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]]> Thu, 15 Aug 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/013-sex-after-betrayal-w1kVKwn0 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I could go the rest of my life without sex. Is this normal?
  • My husband is sexually anorexic. What does this say about me?
  • Does the Bible really tell us we can’t withhold sex from our husbands?

Resources

The Great Sex Rescue, by Sheila Wray Gregoire

Betrayal & Beyond

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> 013 - Sex After Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:18:25 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I could go the rest of my life without sex. Is this normal? My husband is sexually anorexic. What does this say about me? Does the Bible really tell us we can’t withhold sex from our husbands? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I could go the rest of my life without sex. Is this normal? My husband is sexually anorexic. What does this say about me? Does the Bible really tell us we can’t withhold sex from our husbands? false full 13 97c28857-bf19-4b73-80a4-a09232c37085 012 - Is this Normal? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m five days post disclosure and I’m clueless how to handle this. How should I feel? Can I sleep with my husband if I want and be so angry and hurt at the same time? It’s a weird place to be. He didn’t have an affair but lots of acting out online in chat rooms, fantasy too. I think I’m still numb, is that normal? I’m also a therapist so I feel like I know the answers to these questions but it's different when you are on this side of the fence. a little. maybe a lot, I dunno. Does that help?
  • Why do things like violent sex scenes and nude women arouse me?
  • We are trying to recover from my husband's SA [Sex Addiction]. He is getting counseling and I know our intimacy needs to be restored one day at a time. Is it wrong within our marriage for him to say explicit words to me? I feel like he's trying to make me feel safe but at the same time these words trigger me.

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> Thu, 8 Aug 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/012-is-this-normal-AE_SLlXE Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • I’m five days post disclosure and I’m clueless how to handle this. How should I feel? Can I sleep with my husband if I want and be so angry and hurt at the same time? It’s a weird place to be. He didn’t have an affair but lots of acting out online in chat rooms, fantasy too. I think I’m still numb, is that normal? I’m also a therapist so I feel like I know the answers to these questions but it's different when you are on this side of the fence. a little. maybe a lot, I dunno. Does that help?
  • Why do things like violent sex scenes and nude women arouse me?
  • We are trying to recover from my husband's SA [Sex Addiction]. He is getting counseling and I know our intimacy needs to be restored one day at a time. Is it wrong within our marriage for him to say explicit words to me? I feel like he's trying to make me feel safe but at the same time these words trigger me.

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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]]> 012 - Is this Normal? Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:44 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I’m five days post disclosure and I’m clueless how to handle this. How should I feel? Can I sleep with my husband if I want and be so angry and hurt at the same time? It’s a weird place to be. He didn’t have an affair but lots of acting out online in chat rooms, fantasy too. I think I’m still numb, is that normal? I’m also a therapist so I feel like I know the answers to these questions but it's different when you are on this side of the fence. a little. maybe a lot, I dunno. Does that help? Why do things like violent sex scenes and nude women arouse me? We are trying to recover from my husband's SA [Sex Addiction]. He is getting counseling and I know our intimacy needs to be restored one day at a time. Is it wrong within our marriage for him to say explicit words to me? I feel like he's trying to make me feel safe but at the same time these words trigger me. Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I’m five days post disclosure and I’m clueless how to handle this. How should I feel? Can I sleep with my husband if I want and be so angry and hurt at the same time? It’s a weird place to be. He didn’t have an affair but lots of acting out online in chat rooms, fantasy too. I think I’m still numb, is that normal? I’m also a therapist so I feel like I know the answers to these questions but it's different when you are on this side of the fence. a little. maybe a lot, I dunno. Does that help? Why do things like violent sex scenes and nude women arouse me? We are trying to recover from my husband's SA [Sex Addiction]. He is getting counseling and I know our intimacy needs to be restored one day at a time. Is it wrong within our marriage for him to say explicit words to me? I feel like he's trying to make me feel safe but at the same time these words trigger me. false full 12 4de175ed-c571-4989-8df1-7e831be47d17 011 - When will my Husband Learn about Betrayal Trauma? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and it’s teaching me so much about emotional awareness and health. My husband is in a Seven Pillars group and he’s not learning anything about emotional health or betrayal trauma? Why is this?
  • When/How will my husband learn to be empathetic and take responsibility for the pain he’s caused me, if it’s not in the Seven Pillars work?
  • My husband has been in group for months and I’m not seeing any changes in his attitude or behaviors. Can I talk to his group leader to find out if he’s actually doing the work?

Show notes:

Help Her Heal, by Carol Juergensen Sheets

Help Them Heal, by Carol Juergensen Sheets

Worthy of Her Trust, by Stephen Arterburn

Pure Desire Counseling

Betrayal & Beyond  (Women's Betrayal Resource)

Seven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource)

The Compassionate Warrior (Men's Recovery Resource)

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 1 Aug 2024 14:00:06 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/011-when-will-my-husband-learn-about-betrayal-trauma-Ijl1_GUA Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and it’s teaching me so much about emotional awareness and health. My husband is in a Seven Pillars group and he’s not learning anything about emotional health or betrayal trauma? Why is this?
  • When/How will my husband learn to be empathetic and take responsibility for the pain he’s caused me, if it’s not in the Seven Pillars work?
  • My husband has been in group for months and I’m not seeing any changes in his attitude or behaviors. Can I talk to his group leader to find out if he’s actually doing the work?

Show notes:

Help Her Heal, by Carol Juergensen Sheets

Help Them Heal, by Carol Juergensen Sheets

Worthy of Her Trust, by Stephen Arterburn

Pure Desire Counseling

Betrayal & Beyond  (Women's Betrayal Resource)

Seven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource)

The Compassionate Warrior (Men's Recovery Resource)

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on X (Twitter)


Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 011 - When will my Husband Learn about Betrayal Trauma? Pure Desire Ministries 00:16:17 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and it’s teaching me so much about emotional awareness and health. My husband is in a Seven Pillars group and he’s not learning anything about emotional health or betrayal trauma? Why is this? When/How will my husband learn to be empathetic and take responsibility for the pain he’s caused me, if it’s not in the Seven Pillars work? My husband has been in group for months and I’m not seeing any changes in his attitude or behaviors. Can I talk to his group leader to find out if he’s actually doing the work? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and it’s teaching me so much about emotional awareness and health. My husband is in a Seven Pillars group and he’s not learning anything about emotional health or betrayal trauma? Why is this? When/How will my husband learn to be empathetic and take responsibility for the pain he’s caused me, if it’s not in the Seven Pillars work? My husband has been in group for months and I’m not seeing any changes in his attitude or behaviors. Can I talk to his group leader to find out if he’s actually doing the work? false full 11 9bf492cf-28bc-4ffd-b40c-e3521418764b 010 - Good Sex, Bad Sex Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Can my husband rape me?
  • Can I say no to my husband?
  • I feel disconnected when we don't have sex, but when I have sex with my husband I feel used. What can I do to change this pattern?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 25 Jul 2024 07:00:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/010-good-sex-bad-sex-OQcG57UZ Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Can my husband rape me?
  • Can I say no to my husband?
  • I feel disconnected when we don't have sex, but when I have sex with my husband I feel used. What can I do to change this pattern?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 010 - Good Sex, Bad Sex Pure Desire Ministries 00:16:52 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Can my husband rape me? Can I say no to my husband? I feel disconnected when we don't have sex, but when I have sex with my husband I feel used. What can I do to change this pattern? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Can my husband rape me? Can I say no to my husband? I feel disconnected when we don't have sex, but when I have sex with my husband I feel used. What can I do to change this pattern? false full 10 1e14ba31-eecd-4ea5-827b-60caf871e597 009 - Orgasm…That’s Right, We Said It Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • My question is how do you know if you are actually having an orgasm?
  • I don’t know that I have ever enjoyed sex. I can orgasm but I don’t know how to wake my body up. Sex was shamed in my Christian home then I was supposed to enjoy it after marriage but for so long, sex was used as a tool when my husband was in his addiction. We are doing so much better, relationally, after PD but I don’t know how to start liking sex.
  • How are the brain and orgasm connected?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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SOCIALS

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 18 Jul 2024 07:00:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/009-orgasm-thats-right-we-said-it-H0l70wRx Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • My question is how do you know if you are actually having an orgasm?
  • I don’t know that I have ever enjoyed sex. I can orgasm but I don’t know how to wake my body up. Sex was shamed in my Christian home then I was supposed to enjoy it after marriage but for so long, sex was used as a tool when my husband was in his addiction. We are doing so much better, relationally, after PD but I don’t know how to start liking sex.
  • How are the brain and orgasm connected?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> 009 - Orgasm…That’s Right, We Said It Pure Desire Ministries 00:20:55 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: My question is how do you know if you are actually having an orgasm? I don’t know that I have ever enjoyed sex. I can orgasm but I don’t know how to wake my body up. Sex was shamed in my Christian home then I was supposed to enjoy it after marriage but for so long, sex was used as a tool when my husband was in his addiction. We are doing so much better, relationally, after PD but I don’t know how to start liking sex. How are the brain and orgasm connected? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: My question is how do you know if you are actually having an orgasm? I don’t know that I have ever enjoyed sex. I can orgasm but I don’t know how to wake my body up. Sex was shamed in my Christian home then I was supposed to enjoy it after marriage but for so long, sex was used as a tool when my husband was in his addiction. We are doing so much better, relationally, after PD but I don’t know how to start liking sex. How are the brain and orgasm connected? false full 9 905ba915-d451-4bd6-a555-dba2be70ecc2 008 - Sex and Shame Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • My husband went to a “massage parlor” for a hand job about every two weeks until I discovered what he was doing 13 months later. How do I get over the shame?
  • My question is, after a 33-year marriage, where I trusted my husband, I found out he was having a long-term affair with a married woman. I suspected porn and seeing some of the pictures on his phone, he was into some very devious stuff. I’m now divorced, and I’m wondering if I can trust another man again to love who I am and not feel like I have to be a woman of the world to grab a man’s attention again. I’m doubting that I’m someone desirable in bed anymore.
  • After having sex with my husband, I feel so much shame and often cry. Why is this? We’ve been through the healing process, but I can’t seem to shake these feelings after sex.

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

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Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

]]> Thu, 11 Jul 2024 07:00:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/008-sex-and-shame-cZ2yhbxd Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

  • My husband went to a “massage parlor” for a hand job about every two weeks until I discovered what he was doing 13 months later. How do I get over the shame?
  • My question is, after a 33-year marriage, where I trusted my husband, I found out he was having a long-term affair with a married woman. I suspected porn and seeing some of the pictures on his phone, he was into some very devious stuff. I’m now divorced, and I’m wondering if I can trust another man again to love who I am and not feel like I have to be a woman of the world to grab a man’s attention again. I’m doubting that I’m someone desirable in bed anymore.
  • After having sex with my husband, I feel so much shame and often cry. Why is this? We’ve been through the healing process, but I can’t seem to shake these feelings after sex.

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

 

SOCIALS

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Instagram

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]]> 008 - Sex and Shame Pure Desire Ministries 00:19:37 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: My husband went to a “massage parlor” for a hand job about every two weeks until I discovered what he was doing 13 months later. How do I get over the shame? My question is, after a 33-year marriage, where I trusted my husband, I found out he was having a long-term affair with a married woman. I suspected porn and seeing some of the pictures on his phone, he was into some very devious stuff. I’m now divorced, and I’m wondering if I can trust another man again to love who I am and not feel like I have to be a woman of the world to grab a man’s attention again. I’m doubting that I’m someone desirable in bed anymore. After having sex with my husband, I feel so much shame and often cry. Why is this? We’ve been through the healing process, but I can’t seem to shake these feelings after sex. Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: My husband went to a “massage parlor” for a hand job about every two weeks until I discovered what he was doing 13 months later. How do I get over the shame? My question is, after a 33-year marriage, where I trusted my husband, I found out he was having a long-term affair with a married woman. I suspected porn and seeing some of the pictures on his phone, he was into some very devious stuff. I’m now divorced, and I’m wondering if I can trust another man again to love who I am and not feel like I have to be a woman of the world to grab a man’s attention again. I’m doubting that I’m someone desirable in bed anymore. After having sex with my husband, I feel so much shame and often cry. Why is this? We’ve been through the healing process, but I can’t seem to shake these feelings after sex. false full 8 f3c8eb72-2736-4364-997f-e64e1bc4e1c6 007 - Lying, Gaslighting, and the Truth Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Since discovery, it's been hard for me to know when my husband is telling me the truth. Should I trust my gut intuition even though he’s telling me I’m being paranoid?
  • What is gaslighting? Can you give examples of what this looks like?
  • What are the best ways to respond if I think someone is gaslighting me?

Show Notes:

The Betrayal Bind, by Michelle Mays

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

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]]> Thu, 4 Jul 2024 07:00:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/007-lying-gaslighting-and-the-truth-gI_2M2qT Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

  • Since discovery, it's been hard for me to know when my husband is telling me the truth. Should I trust my gut intuition even though he’s telling me I’m being paranoid?
  • What is gaslighting? Can you give examples of what this looks like?
  • What are the best ways to respond if I think someone is gaslighting me?

Show Notes:

The Betrayal Bind, by Michelle Mays

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> 007 - Lying, Gaslighting, and the Truth Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:18 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: Since discovery, it's been hard for me to know when my husband is telling me the truth. Should I trust my gut intuition even though he’s telling me I’m being paranoid? What is gaslighting? Can you give examples of what this looks like? What are the best ways to respond if I think someone is gaslighting me? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: Since discovery, it's been hard for me to know when my husband is telling me the truth. Should I trust my gut intuition even though he’s telling me I’m being paranoid? What is gaslighting? Can you give examples of what this looks like? What are the best ways to respond if I think someone is gaslighting me? false full 7 074b5c16-9e70-49ef-b2cb-b5cb56eddf38 006 - When Anger Shows Up Unannounced Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Why am I so angry?
  • My husband betrayed me; why am I taking it out on my kids?
  • Growing up, it was implied that being angry was sinful. I know I'm hurt but how do I know if I'm dealing with anger?

Show Notes

Anger Test

Resources

Full episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Thu, 27 Jun 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/006-when-anger-shows-up-unannounced-ro9TfC7l Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Why am I so angry?
  • My husband betrayed me; why am I taking it out on my kids?
  • Growing up, it was implied that being angry was sinful. I know I'm hurt but how do I know if I'm dealing with anger?

Show Notes

Anger Test

Resources

Full episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> 006 - When Anger Shows Up Unannounced Pure Desire Ministries 00:16:47 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Why am I so angry? My husband betrayed me; why am I taking it out on my kids? Growing up, it was implied that being angry was sinful. I know I'm hurt but how do I know if I'm dealing with anger?   Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Why am I so angry? My husband betrayed me; why am I taking it out on my kids? Growing up, it was implied that being angry was sinful. I know I'm hurt but how do I know if I'm dealing with anger?   false full 6 8369d58c-a285-413a-bff7-ea5ab9b3d4eb 005 - Is Sexual Addiction Legit? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Is calling a sexual sin “addiction” just excusing the behavior?
  • Is sex addiction real?
  • People who struggle with sex addiction, why can’t they just stop the behavior?

Show Notes

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Resources

Full episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Thu, 20 Jun 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/005-is-sexual-addiction-legit-DJCROwXL Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Is calling a sexual sin “addiction” just excusing the behavior?
  • Is sex addiction real?
  • People who struggle with sex addiction, why can’t they just stop the behavior?

Show Notes

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

Resources

Full episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> 005 - Is Sexual Addiction Legit? Pure Desire Ministries 00:17:01 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Is calling a sexual sin “addiction” just excusing the behavior? Is sex addiction real? People who struggle with sex addiction, why can’t they just stop the behavior? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Is calling a sexual sin “addiction” just excusing the behavior? Is sex addiction real? People who struggle with sex addiction, why can’t they just stop the behavior? false full 5 ba6ad213-ce97-4c99-9d30-e8ca0eaac6a5 004 - D-Day: Discovering Sexual Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • What is betrayal trauma?
  • My husband says I'm overreacting but the pain and foggy-headedness I'm feeling seem uncontrollable. Is it possible to heal from betrayal trauma?
  • Women I’ve been with in group use phrases like "before Pure Desire and after Pure Desire.” What are they referring to?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Thu, 13 Jun 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/004-d-day-discovering-sexual-betrayal-NbaI_ECf Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • What is betrayal trauma?
  • My husband says I'm overreacting but the pain and foggy-headedness I'm feeling seem uncontrollable. Is it possible to heal from betrayal trauma?
  • Women I’ve been with in group use phrases like "before Pure Desire and after Pure Desire.” What are they referring to?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube 

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> 004 - D-Day: Discovering Sexual Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:15:43 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: What is betrayal trauma? My husband says I'm overreacting but the pain and foggy-headedness I'm feeling seem uncontrollable. Is it possible to heal from betrayal trauma? Women I’ve been with in group use phrases like "before Pure Desire and after Pure Desire.” What are they referring to? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: What is betrayal trauma? My husband says I'm overreacting but the pain and foggy-headedness I'm feeling seem uncontrollable. Is it possible to heal from betrayal trauma? Women I’ve been with in group use phrases like "before Pure Desire and after Pure Desire.” What are they referring to? false full 4 64f74661-2d24-4681-ab1e-fb19a5fec97b 003 - Fantasy Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Is fantasy ever okay?
  • Should my husband share his fantasies with me?
  • I can’t be intimate with my husband unless I fantasize. How can I practice being more present?

Show Notes

The Fantasy Fallacy, by Shannon Ethridge

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

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]]> Thu, 6 Jun 2024 09:45:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/003-fantasy-8bLEwUNG Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • Is fantasy ever okay?
  • Should my husband share his fantasies with me?
  • I can’t be intimate with my husband unless I fantasize. How can I practice being more present?

Show Notes

The Fantasy Fallacy, by Shannon Ethridge

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

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]]> 003 - Fantasy Pure Desire Ministries 00:22:51 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Is fantasy ever okay? Should my husband share his fantasies with me? I can’t be intimate with my husband unless I fantasize. How can I practice being more present? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Is fantasy ever okay? Should my husband share his fantasies with me? I can’t be intimate with my husband unless I fantasize. How can I practice being more present? false full 3 d9cfb052-69e5-4615-8bbd-d80c5b247dd4 002 - Sex, Sex, and More About Sex Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I quit drinking and now I don’t enjoy sex. How can I learn to like sex again?
  • I am afraid to re-engage with my husband sexually after quitting porn. How do I learn to become aroused by my husband instead?
  • My husband and I are doing well with our recovery and healing but I’m still afraid to engage sexually, because I can’t get the images of his porn use and affairs out of my head. Will this ever go away and what can I do to help this process?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> Thu, 6 Jun 2024 09:40:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/002-sex-sex-and-more-about-sex-aurs2UPq Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I quit drinking and now I don’t enjoy sex. How can I learn to like sex again?
  • I am afraid to re-engage with my husband sexually after quitting porn. How do I learn to become aroused by my husband instead?
  • My husband and I are doing well with our recovery and healing but I’m still afraid to engage sexually, because I can’t get the images of his porn use and affairs out of my head. Will this ever go away and what can I do to help this process?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> 002 - Sex, Sex, and More About Sex Pure Desire Ministries 00:22:33 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I quit drinking and now I don’t enjoy sex. How can I learn to like sex again? I am afraid to re-engage with my husband sexually after quitting porn. How do I learn to become aroused by my husband instead? My husband and I are doing well with our recovery and healing but I’m still afraid to engage sexually, because I can’t get the images of his porn use and affairs out of my head. Will this ever go away and what can I do to help this process? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I quit drinking and now I don’t enjoy sex. How can I learn to like sex again? I am afraid to re-engage with my husband sexually after quitting porn. How do I learn to become aroused by my husband instead? My husband and I are doing well with our recovery and healing but I’m still afraid to engage sexually, because I can’t get the images of his porn use and affairs out of my head. Will this ever go away and what can I do to help this process? false full 2 9727a0c0-9a0f-40d3-94f3-f154bfcc1bf9 001 - Where to Turn after Sexual Betrayal Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I’m nervous about telling anyone what’s really happening in my marriage. Where can I find safe people?
  • Since discovery, I feel like I’m going crazy! Where can I find help?
  • Is this long, expensive process going to fix anything, when I’m not the one with the problem?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> Thu, 6 Jun 2024 09:35:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/001-where-to-turn-after-sexual-betrayal-kcmZlalS Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. 

In this episode, we answer these questions: 

  • I’m nervous about telling anyone what’s really happening in my marriage. Where can I find safe people?
  • Since discovery, I feel like I’m going crazy! Where can I find help?
  • Is this long, expensive process going to fix anything, when I’m not the one with the problem?

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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]]> 001 - Where to Turn after Sexual Betrayal Pure Desire Ministries 00:23:54 Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I’m nervous about telling anyone what’s really happening in my marriage. Where can I find safe people? Since discovery, I feel like I’m going crazy! Where can I find help? Is this long, expensive process going to fix anything, when I’m not the one with the problem? Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I’m nervous about telling anyone what’s really happening in my marriage. Where can I find safe people? Since discovery, I feel like I’m going crazy! Where can I find help? Is this long, expensive process going to fix anything, when I’m not the one with the problem? false full 1 6499af02-6bc7-4b40-bb54-58c5d5c0bfcd Intro - Why We Talk About Sex & Love Unfiltered Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

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]]> Thu, 6 Jun 2024 09:30:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/intro-why-we-talk-about-sex-love-unfiltered-oZg095vc Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

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]]> Intro - Why We Talk About Sex & Love Unfiltered Pure Desire Ministries 00:14:26 false bonus 82600cb0-d31f-46d7-824f-b1eaed7ef5fc TRAILER - Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective.

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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]]> Thu, 30 May 2024 07:00:00 +0000 unfiltered@puredesire.org (Heather Kolb, Ashley Jameson) https://unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love.simplecast.com/episodes/trailer-unfiltered-real-talk-about-sex-love-LDZzFZP3 Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective.

Resources

Full Episode on YouTube

Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

 

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

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]]> TRAILER - Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love Heather Kolb, Ashley Jameson 00:01:23 Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective. Since 2016, Ashley Jameson and Heather Kolb have supported, educated, and equipped women to experience sexual health, healing from betrayal trauma, and success in relationships. We know what it’s like to be in crisis—searching for answers—and continually hearing the churchy answer. Each week, you’ll hear real talk about sex and relationships from a biblical and clinical perspective. false trailer