https://simplecast.com From Our Heart To Yours A Christian podcast focused on strengthening and empowering marriages and committed romantic relationships, with Counseling Psychologist and Imago Relationship Therapist, Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu. en Sun, 11 Oct 2026 15:28:45 +0000 Sun, 11 Oct 2026 15:28:56 +0000 https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com From Our Heart To Yours https://image.simplecastcdn.com/images/dc0af239-7ca1-4429-8f8f-d5219784a522/5f61dd02-993b-484d-a142-e65ddcb80304/3000x3000/untitled-111-recovered-psdartboard-5.jpg?aid=rss_feed https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com episodic A Christian podcast focused on strengthening and empowering marriages and committed romantic relationships, with Counseling Psychologist and Imago Relationship Therapist, Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu. Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu false https://feeds.simplecast.com/CyyQTdK1 mental health, psychology, relationships, therapy Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com 97df0ee8-71e5-4d1a-b431-d1a6664920e1 It Takes Courage To Look Within. What does it take to recognise our own contribution to the patterns that develop in our relationships?

In this episode of From Our Heart To Yours, Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu explores the courage it takes to examine ourselves honestly. Our past experiences, emotional triggers, fears and protective behaviours can influence how we respond to the people we love. Sometimes, the very strategies we use to protect ourselves can make it harder for our partners to reach us.

Looking within is not about blame or condemnation. It is about developing self-awareness, taking responsibility for our part, and recognising that while we cannot control our partner's behaviour, we can begin to change how we show up in the relationship.

The more clearly we understand ourselves, the more opportunity we have to respond with intention rather than react from old patterns.

In this episode:

  • The importance of self-awareness in relationships
  • The difference between accountability and self-blame
  • How our past experiences shape the way we love and relate
  • Understanding emotional triggers and protective behaviours
  • Recognising what lies beneath our reactions
  • Taking responsibility without excusing unhealthy behaviour
  • Becoming a student of yourself before studying your partner
  • Creating space between what you feel and how you respond
  • Choosing connection over defensiveness and winning

This Week's Practice

Notice yourself.

The next time something happens that activates you, pause and ask:

  • What am I feeling?
  • What am I telling myself about what is happening?
  • What do I want to do right now?
  • Will my response move us towards connection or further into the pattern?

You don't have to get it perfect. Begin by noticing. Awareness creates space for choice.

Reflection

What happens inside me when I feel hurt, rejected or misunderstood?

What am I protecting when I respond the way I do?

What am I bringing into the space between us?

A Biblical Counsel

Romans 12:18 reminds us:

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

That responsibility begins in our closest relationships, including our marriage. We may not control our partner's responses, but we can take responsibility for how we show up, choosing to bring patience, kindness, grace and understanding into the relationship.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Sun, 11 Oct 2026 15:28:45 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/it-takes-courage-to-look-within-LWI82AHh What does it take to recognise our own contribution to the patterns that develop in our relationships?

In this episode of From Our Heart To Yours, Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu explores the courage it takes to examine ourselves honestly. Our past experiences, emotional triggers, fears and protective behaviours can influence how we respond to the people we love. Sometimes, the very strategies we use to protect ourselves can make it harder for our partners to reach us.

Looking within is not about blame or condemnation. It is about developing self-awareness, taking responsibility for our part, and recognising that while we cannot control our partner's behaviour, we can begin to change how we show up in the relationship.

The more clearly we understand ourselves, the more opportunity we have to respond with intention rather than react from old patterns.

In this episode:

  • The importance of self-awareness in relationships
  • The difference between accountability and self-blame
  • How our past experiences shape the way we love and relate
  • Understanding emotional triggers and protective behaviours
  • Recognising what lies beneath our reactions
  • Taking responsibility without excusing unhealthy behaviour
  • Becoming a student of yourself before studying your partner
  • Creating space between what you feel and how you respond
  • Choosing connection over defensiveness and winning

This Week's Practice

Notice yourself.

The next time something happens that activates you, pause and ask:

  • What am I feeling?
  • What am I telling myself about what is happening?
  • What do I want to do right now?
  • Will my response move us towards connection or further into the pattern?

You don't have to get it perfect. Begin by noticing. Awareness creates space for choice.

Reflection

What happens inside me when I feel hurt, rejected or misunderstood?

What am I protecting when I respond the way I do?

What am I bringing into the space between us?

A Biblical Counsel

Romans 12:18 reminds us:

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

That responsibility begins in our closest relationships, including our marriage. We may not control our partner's responses, but we can take responsibility for how we show up, choosing to bring patience, kindness, grace and understanding into the relationship.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> It Takes Courage To Look Within. Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:19:19 This episode explores the importance of self-awareness and personal accountability in relationships. We examine how our past experiences, emotional triggers and protective behaviours influence the way we show up with our partners, and how understanding ourselves can help us respond differently, take responsibility for our part, and create space for deeper connection. This episode explores the importance of self-awareness and personal accountability in relationships. We examine how our past experiences, emotional triggers and protective behaviours influence the way we show up with our partners, and how understanding ourselves can help us respond differently, take responsibility for our part, and create space for deeper connection. false full 21 66aa72f4-8faa-4b57-ba40-85687d9c27d5 Episode 3: Maybe it's not your partner. Maybe it's the pattern Episode 3 — Maybe It’s Not Your Partner. Maybe It’s the Pattern.

What if the problem in your relationship isn't simply one person being the problem, but a pattern that the two of you have become caught in?

In this episode of From Our Heart To Yours, Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu explores the recurring cycles that can develop between couples. We often focus on what our partner is doing wrong, but relationships invite us to become curious about what happens between us, especially when we feel hurt, rejected, overwhelmed or disconnected.

Understanding the pattern does not mean excusing unhealthy behaviour. It means becoming aware of the cycle so that we can begin to take responsibility for our part and interrupt what keeps creating disconnection.

In this episode:

  • Why we can become focused on our partner as “the problem”
  • The patterns and cycles couples can become trapped in
  • Pursuing and withdrawing
  • Criticism and defensiveness
  • How our nervous systems respond when we feel threatened
  • The difference between responsibility and blame
  • Looking beneath behaviour to the fear or longing underneath
  • Identifying your own contribution to the cycle
  • Learning to interrupt familiar patterns
  • Moving from “How do I get my partner to change?” to “What can I do differently?”

This Week's Practice

Become a pattern detective.

When tension arises, rather than immediately asking who was right or who started it, notice the sequence:

What happened?
What did my partner do?
What did I do in response?
What happened next?

Then ask yourself:

“What do I do that makes it harder for my partner to reach me?”

And consider one small thing you could do differently the next time the pattern begins.

Reflection

What is our familiar pattern?

What do I tend to do when I feel hurt, afraid or disconnected?

What is one thing I can do differently the next time the pattern begins?

Remember:

You are not the pattern. But you may be participating in it.

The goal isn't to win against your partner.
The goal is to interrupt the pattern that is winning against both of you.

Episode Notes

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Sun, 4 Oct 2026 16:10:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/episode-3-maybe-its-not-your-partner-maybe-its-the-pattern-NLQqzbSB Episode 3 — Maybe It’s Not Your Partner. Maybe It’s the Pattern.

What if the problem in your relationship isn't simply one person being the problem, but a pattern that the two of you have become caught in?

In this episode of From Our Heart To Yours, Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu explores the recurring cycles that can develop between couples. We often focus on what our partner is doing wrong, but relationships invite us to become curious about what happens between us, especially when we feel hurt, rejected, overwhelmed or disconnected.

Understanding the pattern does not mean excusing unhealthy behaviour. It means becoming aware of the cycle so that we can begin to take responsibility for our part and interrupt what keeps creating disconnection.

In this episode:

  • Why we can become focused on our partner as “the problem”
  • The patterns and cycles couples can become trapped in
  • Pursuing and withdrawing
  • Criticism and defensiveness
  • How our nervous systems respond when we feel threatened
  • The difference between responsibility and blame
  • Looking beneath behaviour to the fear or longing underneath
  • Identifying your own contribution to the cycle
  • Learning to interrupt familiar patterns
  • Moving from “How do I get my partner to change?” to “What can I do differently?”

This Week's Practice

Become a pattern detective.

When tension arises, rather than immediately asking who was right or who started it, notice the sequence:

What happened?
What did my partner do?
What did I do in response?
What happened next?

Then ask yourself:

“What do I do that makes it harder for my partner to reach me?”

And consider one small thing you could do differently the next time the pattern begins.

Reflection

What is our familiar pattern?

What do I tend to do when I feel hurt, afraid or disconnected?

What is one thing I can do differently the next time the pattern begins?

Remember:

You are not the pattern. But you may be participating in it.

The goal isn't to win against your partner.
The goal is to interrupt the pattern that is winning against both of you.

Episode Notes

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Episode 3: Maybe it's not your partner. Maybe it's the pattern Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:19:00 Maybe It’s Not Your Partner. Maybe It’s the Pattern. This episode explores the recurring patterns that can develop between couples and how we can move from blaming our partner to recognising our own part in the cycle. It invites us to notice the pattern, take responsibility for how we participate in it, and begin interrupting the cycle with greater awareness, curiosity and intention. Maybe It’s Not Your Partner. Maybe It’s the Pattern. This episode explores the recurring patterns that can develop between couples and how we can move from blaming our partner to recognising our own part in the cycle. It invites us to notice the pattern, take responsibility for how we participate in it, and begin interrupting the cycle with greater awareness, curiosity and intention. healthy relationships, marriage advice, marriage, relationship healing, primary search keywords relationships, emotional safety, emotional intimacy, relationship conflict, conflict resolution, relationship triggers, nokhanyo lulu ndlovu, relationship communication, nervous system regulation, christian relationships, relationship patterns, criticism and defensiveness, pursue withdraw cycle, intentional relationships, christian marriage, courageous coupling, relationship cycles, attachment, emotional connection, couples communication, emotional regulation, relationship dynamics, couples, taking responsibility in relationships false full 20 0594fcf3-adee-4191-874a-e7dad65e7c6a Safe AND Alive — Can We Have Both? What if a relationship could feel safe without becoming stagnant and alive without becoming chaotic?

In this episode of From Our Heart To Yours, Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu explores the relationship between safety and aliveness, and what it means to create a relationship where emotional security and genuine connection can coexist.

We consider how familiarity can sometimes replace curiosity, how assumptions can create distance, and why continuing to discover the person we love is an important part of keeping a relationship alive.

In this episode:

  • Safety and emotional vulnerability
  • The difference between stability and stagnation
  • Why aliveness is more than excitement or chemistry
  • Familiarity, assumptions and losing curiosity
  • Continuing to discover your partner as they change
  • The importance of turning toward one another
  • Small ways to nurture curiosity and connection
  • Creating a relationship that is both safe and alive

Reflection:

Is there both safety and aliveness between us?

Can we feel secure enough to be vulnerable and alive enough to remain curious?

Can we have familiarity without losing wonder?

And can we know each other deeply while still remaining interested in discovering each other?

Scripture:

John 10:10
"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." — NKJV

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Sun, 27 Sep 2026 12:00:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/safe-and-alive-can-we-have-both-IX8rGBV4 What if a relationship could feel safe without becoming stagnant and alive without becoming chaotic?

In this episode of From Our Heart To Yours, Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu explores the relationship between safety and aliveness, and what it means to create a relationship where emotional security and genuine connection can coexist.

We consider how familiarity can sometimes replace curiosity, how assumptions can create distance, and why continuing to discover the person we love is an important part of keeping a relationship alive.

In this episode:

  • Safety and emotional vulnerability
  • The difference between stability and stagnation
  • Why aliveness is more than excitement or chemistry
  • Familiarity, assumptions and losing curiosity
  • Continuing to discover your partner as they change
  • The importance of turning toward one another
  • Small ways to nurture curiosity and connection
  • Creating a relationship that is both safe and alive

Reflection:

Is there both safety and aliveness between us?

Can we feel secure enough to be vulnerable and alive enough to remain curious?

Can we have familiarity without losing wonder?

And can we know each other deeply while still remaining interested in discovering each other?

Scripture:

John 10:10
"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." — NKJV

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Safe AND Alive — Can We Have Both? Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:20:51 This episode explores how a relationship can have both safety and aliveness—creating emotional security while preserving curiosity, vulnerability, playfulness, and connection. We consider how couples can keep discovering each other rather than allowing familiarity, assumptions, and routine to replace genuine connection. This episode explores how a relationship can have both safety and aliveness—creating emotional security while preserving curiosity, vulnerability, playfulness, and connection. We consider how couples can keep discovering each other rather than allowing familiarity, assumptions, and routine to replace genuine connection. relationships, relationship safety, healthy relationships, marriage, relationship healing, emotional intimacy, nokhanyo lulu ndlovu, relationship communication, thriving relationships, christian marriage, courageous coupling, emotional connection, couples false full 19 b72284f9-826a-45d3-8982-b4a45c94c51b From Surviving to Thriving What does it mean for a relationship to be truly alive?

In this first episode of From Our Heart To Yours, Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu explores the difference between functioning and flourishing in our relationships. We can be married, raising children, managing a home and fulfilling our responsibilities, while quietly becoming disconnected from one another.

Drawing from the theme “Empowered to Thrive” and the words of Jesus in John 10:10 — “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” — this episode invites us to consider what abundant life might look like within our relationships.

In this episode, we explore:

  • The difference between a relationship that is functioning and one that is flourishing
  • How relationships can gradually drift through ordinary, everyday interactions
  • The small moments that can create connection—or disconnection
  • “The space between” and the emotional atmosphere couples create together
  • Why disconnection does not always happen through one major event
  • How repeated moments of avoidance, silence, reactivity or missed bids for connection can affect a relationship
  • Why reconnecting can also begin with small, intentional moments
  • Moving away from simply asking, “What does my partner need to change?”
  • The more courageous question: “What am I contributing to the space between us?”
  • Beginning the journey from surviving to thriving

As you listen, pause and consider:

What is happening in the space between us?

And then, perhaps ask yourself:

What am I contributing to that space?

 

Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu
Christian Counselling Psychologist | Imago Relationship Therapist
Founder, Courageous Coupling™

From Our Heart To Yours is a space for honest conversations about relationships, healing, emotional connection, faith and the courageous work of creating a more connected life.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Sun, 20 Sep 2026 11:00:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/from-surviving-to-thriving-EUmYKsG6 What does it mean for a relationship to be truly alive?

In this first episode of From Our Heart To Yours, Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu explores the difference between functioning and flourishing in our relationships. We can be married, raising children, managing a home and fulfilling our responsibilities, while quietly becoming disconnected from one another.

Drawing from the theme “Empowered to Thrive” and the words of Jesus in John 10:10 — “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” — this episode invites us to consider what abundant life might look like within our relationships.

In this episode, we explore:

  • The difference between a relationship that is functioning and one that is flourishing
  • How relationships can gradually drift through ordinary, everyday interactions
  • The small moments that can create connection—or disconnection
  • “The space between” and the emotional atmosphere couples create together
  • Why disconnection does not always happen through one major event
  • How repeated moments of avoidance, silence, reactivity or missed bids for connection can affect a relationship
  • Why reconnecting can also begin with small, intentional moments
  • Moving away from simply asking, “What does my partner need to change?”
  • The more courageous question: “What am I contributing to the space between us?”
  • Beginning the journey from surviving to thriving

As you listen, pause and consider:

What is happening in the space between us?

And then, perhaps ask yourself:

What am I contributing to that space?

 

Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu
Christian Counselling Psychologist | Imago Relationship Therapist
Founder, Courageous Coupling™

From Our Heart To Yours is a space for honest conversations about relationships, healing, emotional connection, faith and the courageous work of creating a more connected life.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> From Surviving to Thriving Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:10:55 This episode explores the difference between a relationship that is functioning and one that is truly alive. We look at the quiet ways couples drift apart and how becoming aware of what we are each contributing to the “space between us” can be the beginning of reconnection and thriving. This episode explores the difference between a relationship that is functioning and one that is truly alive. We look at the quiet ways couples drift apart and how becoming aware of what we are each contributing to the “space between us” can be the beginning of reconnection and thriving. relationships, healthy relationships, marriage advice, marriage, emotional health, couples therapy, relationship healing, emotional intimacy, relationship disconnection, nokhanyo lulu ndlovu, relationship communication, relationship advice, from surviving to thriving, thriving relationships, christian relationships, relationship patterns, intentional relationships, christian marriage, courageous coupling, self-awareness, emotional connection, couples false full 18 70f3fb7b-deea-4650-84a4-674e25cb3cf2 Let's Talk About Sex, Baby Mon, 4 Dec 2023 13:00:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/lets-talk-about-sex-baby-4vkVO_o2 Let's Talk About Sex, Baby Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:47:37 Let’s talk about sex, baby! A good marriage is best friends with passion. Without the passion, you just have a friendship. You are roommates or companions. Poor communication and a diminished sexual relationship are at the center of a troubled marriage and both are symptoms of the power struggle. In this episode, we look at sexless marriages and sexual withholding, what some of the contributors are, and share some information on how to address the pertinent issues. Let’s talk about sex, baby! A good marriage is best friends with passion. Without the passion, you just have a friendship. You are roommates or companions. Poor communication and a diminished sexual relationship are at the center of a troubled marriage and both are symptoms of the power struggle. In this episode, we look at sexless marriages and sexual withholding, what some of the contributors are, and share some information on how to address the pertinent issues. false full 17 ba2681fb-afe9-4aed-ac26-9910b2a360e2 The Switch That Turns The Light On Different people give and receive love differently, and if your objective is to show your partner how much you love them, it makes sense to do it in a language they understand and in a way that is specifically meaningful to them. This way, you communicate awareness of their right to be separate, different, and distinct, with their own preferences, experiences, and values. So, learning to express love in ways that resonate with your partner will lead to a more harmonious relationship and will increase connection, safety, and intimacy.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Sun, 22 Oct 2023 12:48:36 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/the-switch-that-turns-the-light-on-H0Uo3T7R Different people give and receive love differently, and if your objective is to show your partner how much you love them, it makes sense to do it in a language they understand and in a way that is specifically meaningful to them. This way, you communicate awareness of their right to be separate, different, and distinct, with their own preferences, experiences, and values. So, learning to express love in ways that resonate with your partner will lead to a more harmonious relationship and will increase connection, safety, and intimacy.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> The Switch That Turns The Light On Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:27:39 Different people give and receive love differently, and if your objective is to show your partner how much you love them, it makes sense to do it in a language they understand and in a way that is specifically meaningful to them. This way, you communicate awareness of their right to be separate, different, and distinct, with their own preferences, experiences, and values. So, learning to express love in ways that resonate with your partner will lead to a more harmonious relationship and will increase connection, safety, and intimacy. Different people give and receive love differently, and if your objective is to show your partner how much you love them, it makes sense to do it in a language they understand and in a way that is specifically meaningful to them. This way, you communicate awareness of their right to be separate, different, and distinct, with their own preferences, experiences, and values. So, learning to express love in ways that resonate with your partner will lead to a more harmonious relationship and will increase connection, safety, and intimacy. false full 16 a65168f0-b074-417c-98cf-12d336e0b08d Re-romanticizing Your Relationship Mon, 25 Sep 2023 17:13:20 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/re-romanticizing-your-relationship-LIiSN14L Re-romanticizing Your Relationship Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:33:56 When the relationship matures, and the people in it are so connected and attuned, there is affection, restfulness, trust, and security. Stability is good. However, this state of satiation can sometimes lead to a lull, a sense of sleep that can rob the relationship of excitement, mystery, and intrigue. The relationship can flatline and this may lead to boredom. The solution is to re-romanticize the relationship. Though the romantic love stage ends, the romance can last a lifetime, and this is what makes a difference between married life being a chore and being a celebration. When the relationship matures, and the people in it are so connected and attuned, there is affection, restfulness, trust, and security. Stability is good. However, this state of satiation can sometimes lead to a lull, a sense of sleep that can rob the relationship of excitement, mystery, and intrigue. The relationship can flatline and this may lead to boredom. The solution is to re-romanticize the relationship. Though the romantic love stage ends, the romance can last a lifetime, and this is what makes a difference between married life being a chore and being a celebration. false full 15 ee8c69b7-473c-41dd-b3d3-208ef42cb2bf Fostering Intimacy One of the things people who are in committed relationships long for is a closeness of body, mind, spirit and soul. To know and be known at a level that is so deep that it’s like a mingling of souls and a sharing of hearts. Two hearts that beat as one. Finishing each other’s sentences. Perfect attunement. This is possible provided partners consciously seek to foster intimacy. In this episode, we share some insights around the topic of intimacy.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Tue, 29 Aug 2023 12:00:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/fostering-intimacy-toDf911V One of the things people who are in committed relationships long for is a closeness of body, mind, spirit and soul. To know and be known at a level that is so deep that it’s like a mingling of souls and a sharing of hearts. Two hearts that beat as one. Finishing each other’s sentences. Perfect attunement. This is possible provided partners consciously seek to foster intimacy. In this episode, we share some insights around the topic of intimacy.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Fostering Intimacy Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:32:27 One of the things people who are in committed relationships long for is a closeness of body, mind, spirit and soul. To know and be known at a level that is so deep that it’s like a mingling of souls and a sharing of hearts. Two hearts that beat as one. Finishing each other’s sentences. Perfect attunement. This is possible provided partners consciously seek to foster intimacy. In this episode, we share some insights around the topic of intimacy. One of the things people who are in committed relationships long for is a closeness of body, mind, spirit and soul. To know and be known at a level that is so deep that it’s like a mingling of souls and a sharing of hearts. Two hearts that beat as one. Finishing each other’s sentences. Perfect attunement. This is possible provided partners consciously seek to foster intimacy. In this episode, we share some insights around the topic of intimacy. false full 14 008a2209-6eeb-4f7a-bdb8-08612682cdce The Relationship Vision Dialogue Now that the relationship vision has been crafted, it is important to deepen your understanding of what it means to each of you and what it looks like when you are living it out. That calls for communication. In this episode we teach you a skill called the 'Imago Dialogue'. We can guarantee you that if you can incorporate this skill into your relationship, your struggles with being heard and understood are over.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Wed, 9 Aug 2023 10:59:51 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/the-relationship-vision-dialogue-qCH9bxGK Now that the relationship vision has been crafted, it is important to deepen your understanding of what it means to each of you and what it looks like when you are living it out. That calls for communication. In this episode we teach you a skill called the 'Imago Dialogue'. We can guarantee you that if you can incorporate this skill into your relationship, your struggles with being heard and understood are over.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> The Relationship Vision Dialogue Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:29:04 Now that the relationship vision has been crafted, it is important to deepen your understanding of what it means to each of you and what it looks like when you are living it out. That calls for communication. In this episode we teach you a skill called the 'Imago Dialogue'. We can guarantee you that if you can incorporate this skill into your relationship, your struggles with being heard and understood are over. Now that the relationship vision has been crafted, it is important to deepen your understanding of what it means to each of you and what it looks like when you are living it out. That calls for communication. In this episode we teach you a skill called the 'Imago Dialogue'. We can guarantee you that if you can incorporate this skill into your relationship, your struggles with being heard and understood are over. false full 13 b1f7b6e8-946f-497e-9233-2e88f0329987 Revisioning Your Relationship "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Before any journey begins, the traveler must have a destination in mind, know the route to take, and what preparations are needed to ensure a smooth and enjoyable journey. The same applies to marriage. When there is a relationship vision, the expectations are clearly communicated, intentions, desires and goals are clarified. In this episode we take you through the process of co-creating the blueprint for your relationship.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Sun, 23 Jul 2023 16:59:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/revisioning-your-relationship-Fbe7aQaC "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Before any journey begins, the traveler must have a destination in mind, know the route to take, and what preparations are needed to ensure a smooth and enjoyable journey. The same applies to marriage. When there is a relationship vision, the expectations are clearly communicated, intentions, desires and goals are clarified. In this episode we take you through the process of co-creating the blueprint for your relationship.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Revisioning Your Relationship Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:28:29 "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Before any journey begins, the traveler must have a destination in mind, know the route to take, and what preparations are needed to ensure a smooth and enjoyable journey. The same applies to marriage. When there is a relationship vision, the expectations are clearly communicated, intentions, desires and goals are clarified. In this episode we take you through the process of co-creating the blueprint for your relationship. "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Before any journey begins, the traveler must have a destination in mind, know the route to take, and what preparations are needed to ensure a smooth and enjoyable journey. The same applies to marriage. When there is a relationship vision, the expectations are clearly communicated, intentions, desires and goals are clarified. In this episode we take you through the process of co-creating the blueprint for your relationship. false full 12 d1208495-6d84-4d02-9c16-221f1acd7e4d The Characteristics Of A Conscious Relationship The quality of your life is impacted hugely by the quality of your relationships. And in addition to to the relationship you had with your primary caregivers, no other relationship is as impactful upon your life as the intimate relationship with your partner. So it makes perfect sense that you would want to do all in your power to make this relationship a priority. Season 2 is all about increasing pleasure and decreasing pain. Consciously. Intentionally. Join us as we begin by exploring some of the characteristics of a conscious relationship.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Sun, 9 Jul 2023 12:30:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/the-characteristics-of-a-conscious-relationship-HOY1mbn6 The quality of your life is impacted hugely by the quality of your relationships. And in addition to to the relationship you had with your primary caregivers, no other relationship is as impactful upon your life as the intimate relationship with your partner. So it makes perfect sense that you would want to do all in your power to make this relationship a priority. Season 2 is all about increasing pleasure and decreasing pain. Consciously. Intentionally. Join us as we begin by exploring some of the characteristics of a conscious relationship.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> The Characteristics Of A Conscious Relationship Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:20:19 The quality of your life is impacted hugely by the quality of your relationships. And in addition to to the relationship you had with your primary caregivers, no other relationship is as impactful upon your life as the intimate relationship with your partner. So it makes perfect sense that you would want to do all in your power to make this relationship a priority. Season 2 is all about increasing pleasure and decreasing pain. Consciously. Intentionally. Join us as we begin by exploring some of the characteristics of a conscious relationship. The quality of your life is impacted hugely by the quality of your relationships. And in addition to to the relationship you had with your primary caregivers, no other relationship is as impactful upon your life as the intimate relationship with your partner. So it makes perfect sense that you would want to do all in your power to make this relationship a priority. Season 2 is all about increasing pleasure and decreasing pain. Consciously. Intentionally. Join us as we begin by exploring some of the characteristics of a conscious relationship. false full 11 f7e7f582-a65f-48da-857f-b4aadc9f17f6 FOHTY Virtual Couple's Session Mon, 27 Mar 2023 15:30:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/fohty-free-virtual-couples-session-31kThA8W FOHTY Virtual Couple's Session Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:02:43 Intimacy is a trauma trigger, and what happened in you because of what happened to you will be played out in your relationship. In this virtual session, we will be looking at adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and their effect on relationships, how the relationship can be a vessel for healing, and how therapy supports this process. The first hour will be a presentation and the second hour will be a live interview with a couple who will be sharing how the wounds from their childhood impacted their marriage, and how they are experiencing healing and transformation within the relationship. Intimacy is a trauma trigger, and what happened in you because of what happened to you will be played out in your relationship. In this virtual session, we will be looking at adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and their effect on relationships, how the relationship can be a vessel for healing, and how therapy supports this process. The first hour will be a presentation and the second hour will be a live interview with a couple who will be sharing how the wounds from their childhood impacted their marriage, and how they are experiencing healing and transformation within the relationship. false full 10 76078858-288c-4ebe-8884-04db79807dff The Space Between Sun, 19 Mar 2023 15:34:08 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/the-space-between-JH1WJsIX The Space Between Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:20:54 In this episode, we give a summary of the previous episodes, revisit some of the key concepts of Imago therapy, and we integrate this information into the concept of 'the space between', an energy, a vibration that exists between the two individuals that can expedite or hinder healing and growth. In this episode, we give a summary of the previous episodes, revisit some of the key concepts of Imago therapy, and we integrate this information into the concept of 'the space between', an energy, a vibration that exists between the two individuals that can expedite or hinder healing and growth. false full 9 90ac42ed-c8c8-4732-a321-43705ccfcb8d The 'Conscious Relationship' Stage Sun, 12 Mar 2023 13:12:30 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/the-conscious-relationship-stage-vzUj7cyK The 'Conscious Relationship' Stage Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:15:56 The journey does not have to end with the power struggle. Hidden beneath the critical, discontent, demanding person you are with is a vulnerable, hurting, yet wonderful and magnificent human being. And beyond troughs of conflict and tension is a deep, rewarding, intimate connectedness that can be ushered in by the conscious relationship stage. In this stage, the energy shifts from antagonism to cooperation, indifference to a deep understanding, and disconnection to attachment. The love that is possible in this stage is a 'deep' rather than a 'high' love. Welcome to the conscious relationship stage. The journey does not have to end with the power struggle. Hidden beneath the critical, discontent, demanding person you are with is a vulnerable, hurting, yet wonderful and magnificent human being. And beyond troughs of conflict and tension is a deep, rewarding, intimate connectedness that can be ushered in by the conscious relationship stage. In this stage, the energy shifts from antagonism to cooperation, indifference to a deep understanding, and disconnection to attachment. The love that is possible in this stage is a 'deep' rather than a 'high' love. Welcome to the conscious relationship stage. false full 8 429b0f8a-ed7e-48f0-a9eb-ba80050cfe10 The 'Power Struggle' Stage Sun, 5 Mar 2023 14:29:36 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/the-power-struggle-stage-9D6FP4qu The 'Power Struggle' Stage Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:17:12 Now, the honeymoon phase has ended. You begin to truly see your partner, flaws and all, and you feel cheated because this is not what you signed up for. What happened to the kind, thoughtful, loving partner who worshiped the ground you walk on? This stage is known as the 'Power Struggle' stage, and this is where most couples get stuck. This week, we discuss in depth what this stage actually is, and how we can reframe our perception of it so that we can truly harness the opportunity it presents to create a safe, stable relationship that can stand the test of time. Now, the honeymoon phase has ended. You begin to truly see your partner, flaws and all, and you feel cheated because this is not what you signed up for. What happened to the kind, thoughtful, loving partner who worshiped the ground you walk on? This stage is known as the 'Power Struggle' stage, and this is where most couples get stuck. This week, we discuss in depth what this stage actually is, and how we can reframe our perception of it so that we can truly harness the opportunity it presents to create a safe, stable relationship that can stand the test of time. false full 7 6b4d4d80-b92e-476d-9d6a-54bec0245f3e The 'Romantic Love' Stage Mon, 27 Feb 2023 14:04:44 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/the-romantic-love-stage-KTWWj39c The 'Romantic Love' Stage Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:12:37 Now that you have found your soulmate and the two of you are head over heels in love, let's talk about the trajectory of romantic relationships. We begin by looking at the 'Romantic Love' stage, the stage where we experience what it feels like to be fully alive, to be our most loved and loving self. Now that you have found your soulmate and the two of you are head over heels in love, let's talk about the trajectory of romantic relationships. We begin by looking at the 'Romantic Love' stage, the stage where we experience what it feels like to be fully alive, to be our most loved and loving self. false full 6 750a7760-0ab7-4cb5-b360-0851f557bf18 The Beauty Of Incompatibility Sun, 19 Feb 2023 16:26:19 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/the-beauty-of-incompatibility-_ytVrL1X The Beauty Of Incompatibility Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:25:02 This week, we look at how the unconscious plays a role in the partner-selection process, and how the differences that we often label as incompatibility actually provide the context for healing and growth. This week, we look at how the unconscious plays a role in the partner-selection process, and how the differences that we often label as incompatibility actually provide the context for healing and growth. false full 5 da1b42e0-5c36-4750-b220-d21fd2cc015c Relationships: A Vessel For Healing Sun, 12 Feb 2023 13:17:25 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/relationships-a-vessel-for-healing-lwHuZLIt Relationships: A Vessel For Healing Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:36:11 Intimacy is a trauma trigger. Today, we take a look at how relationships create opportunities for past traumas to resurface, but also how they can be a vessel to facilitate healing and restoration. Intimacy is a trauma trigger. Today, we take a look at how relationships create opportunities for past traumas to resurface, but also how they can be a vessel to facilitate healing and restoration. false full 4 02f67ce6-10a9-4ff2-b7e4-af23062b48b9 Born In Relationships, Wounded In Relationships Sun, 5 Feb 2023 11:30:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/born-in-relationships-wounded-in-relationships-Lh55X_ra Born In Relationships, Wounded In Relationships Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:26:09 Let's take it right back to the beginning. How we were held, nurtured, loved, and parented, both inside and outside the womb, has significantly shaped us into the people we are. In this episode, we discuss how gestation and early childhood experiences contribute to who we are as individuals and partners today. Let's take it right back to the beginning. How we were held, nurtured, loved, and parented, both inside and outside the womb, has significantly shaped us into the people we are. In this episode, we discuss how gestation and early childhood experiences contribute to who we are as individuals and partners today. false full 3 06f266da-abe7-418d-ac8e-86188e8effa9 Being Completely Sold Out This week, we discuss the integral role of commitment and what it entails in building safe relationships. 

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Sun, 29 Jan 2023 12:00:00 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/being-completely-sold-out-whx8EJDn This week, we discuss the integral role of commitment and what it entails in building safe relationships. 

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Being Completely Sold Out Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:26:54 This week, we discuss the integral role of commitment and what it entails in building safe relationships. This week, we discuss the integral role of commitment and what it entails in building safe relationships. relationships, mental health, therapy, self-help false full 2 332c60c5-1bde-4fa2-9844-74a638ad7498 You Get To Live In This House This week's episode introduces the concept of safety in romantic relationships and establishes its importance in building and maintaining solid and thriving relationships.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> Sun, 22 Jan 2023 09:52:31 +0000 nokanyondlovu68@gmail.com (Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu) https://from-our-heart-to-yours.simplecast.com/episodes/you-get-to-live-in-this-house-IwLONiZ4 This week's episode introduces the concept of safety in romantic relationships and establishes its importance in building and maintaining solid and thriving relationships.

From Our Heart To Yours is a podcast by Nokhanyo Lulu Ndlovu, exploring relationships, emotional connection, healing, faith and the courageous work of building a more connected life.

This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes and is not a substitute for individual psychological or medical advice.

]]> You Get To Live In This House Nokanyo Lulu Ndlovu 00:25:43 This week's episode introduces the concept of safety in romantic relationships and establishes its importance in building and maintaining solid and thriving relationships. This week's episode introduces the concept of safety in romantic relationships and establishes its importance in building and maintaining solid and thriving relationships. relationships, safety, mental health, therapy false full 1