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455 - How Desires Can Discover Unhealed Wounds w/ Jay Stringer

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, we explore a radically different way of understanding desire in recovery, betrayal, and marriage. Rather than treating desire as the enemy, our guest, Jay Stringer, invites us to see unwanted behaviors as signposts pointing to deeper wounds and unmet longings.

Drawing from Jay’s research with over 4,000 people, we discuss how fear-based restriction, shame-driven purity culture, and the pursuit of intensity often fuel addiction and emotional disconnection. We unpack how curiosity, compassion, and wholeness can help individuals move out of relapse cycles and support relational repair after betrayal.

For betrayed partners, we address how desire can go dormant—and how it can be reclaimed safely. We conclude by envisioning what “connected desire” looks like beyond crisis and where listeners can learn more in Jay’s new book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow

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454 - The Persistent Message of Shame w/ Dr. Jake Porter

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 09:30:00 +0000

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jake Porter to explore the pervasive and often misunderstood role of shame in recovery. We begin by defining shame and examining why understanding its messages is crucial for lasting growth.

Even after significant recovery, shame can persist—like background noise—resurfacing when we least expect it, especially when confronting the pain we’ve caused others. We discuss strategies for recognizing and responding to shame, including how to navigate triggers from loved ones, childhood experiences, or the fear of rejection. Listeners will learn practical ways to continue healing long after the initial addictive behaviors have changed, and how to support others in processing their own shame without amplifying it.

This conversation highlights the importance of awareness, empathy, and self-compassion, showing that recovery isn’t just about behavior—it’s about transforming the internal narratives that drive it. By leaning into this work, we create space for deeper freedom, connection, and emotional resilience.

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453 - The Danger of Controlling Our Life by Controlling Other People

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, Debby Flanagan dives into a common but often overlooked challenge in recovery: trying to control life by controlling other people. We explore how this pattern can undermine relationships, fuel relapse, and distract from personal growth.

Debby outlines telltale signs that someone may be exerting control and offers strategies for self-reflection to recognize if we are doing the same. For spouses or family members, we discuss clear boundary language and how to set limits that protect your health while maintaining empathy. We also explore the freedom—and fear—that comes with allowing others to make their own choices, and how recovering addicts can focus on their own healing instead of trying to manage everyone else.

Debby shares guidance on repairing harm caused by controlling behaviors, from sincere apologies to meaningful amends, and offers practical ways to cultivate personal safety, security, and relational integrity in long-term recovery.

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452 - Not Taking Full Responsibility for Wounding Those We Love

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 3 Mar 2026 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we explore what it truly means to take full responsibility for the damage caused by addiction—and why minimizing, deflecting, or excusing that harm often keeps relapse close at hand.

Joined by Eileen Fagan, we identify subtle signs of incomplete ownership, from defensiveness and justification to shifting focus onto the wounded spouse’s reactions. We also discuss why acknowledging pain we’ve caused is so difficult, even for those well into recovery, and how loved ones or group members can gently guide someone toward honest self-awareness without shaming or controlling.

On the hopeful side, we paint a picture of what real ownership looks like: humility, empathy, repair-focused action, and a willingness to validate pain without arguing with it. We talk about how to avoid the trap of comparison when both partners carry wounds, and how to accept responsibility without spiraling into self-contempt. Ultimately, healthy ownership becomes a lifelong posture—not self-punishment, but a steady commitment to relational repair and integrity.

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451 - Believing Sexual Addiction is Just About Sex

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 10:30:00 +0000

In today’s episode, we confront one of the most deceptive assumptions in the recovery world: the belief that sexual addiction is “just about sex.” With guest Robert Vander Meer, we unpack how this false narrative minimizes the emotional, relational, and neurological drivers beneath the behavior, making relapse far more likely because the real wounds go unaddressed. We identify common signs of this mindset—statements like “I just need more willpower” or “at least I’ve never crossed physical lines”—and explore how even those engaging only with pornography, fantasy, or lust can still be caught in the same trap. We also offer guidance for spouses and group members who recognize this belief in others and want to speak truth without shaming, rescuing, or lecturing. Together, we name why sexual addiction is fundamentally about pain, attachment, coping, and disconnection—not merely sexual acts. Finally, we discuss subtle ways this belief can linger even in long-term sobriety and how to continue growing in honesty, humility, and emotional freedom.

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450 - Pursuing Health with Less Passion Than We Pursued the Addiction

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 17 Feb 2026 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, Harry Flanagan joins us to unpack a subtle but critical danger in the recovery process: pursuing healing with less passion than we once pursued addiction. He explains how this mindset can quietly fuel relapse patterns, create emotional complacency, and leave individuals feeling stuck even while “doing the right things.” Harry also addresses why some people struggle to engage fully in recovery and what they might be missing when transformation begins to feel routine instead of urgent.

We discuss the FASTER Scale and how overconfidence—one of the earliest signs of slipping—can disguise itself as stability while actually signaling vulnerability. Harry offers practical steps for rekindling commitment when motivation fades, and guidance for spouses who fear their partner isn’t taking recovery seriously.

We’ll also explore how to support group members without slipping into fixing or rescuing, and the key behaviors to look for when someone is genuinely invested in long-term healing. He closes with encouraging, grounded advice for anyone feeling their passion for recovery growing dim.

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449 - Handling Kids Toughest Questions w/ Laurie Krieg

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 10:30:00 +0000

In today’s episode, Laurie Krieg shares her expertise on guiding children through some of today’s toughest conversations around sexuality, gender, and God’s design for relationships. From knowing the right time to talk to kids about sex, singleness, and marriage, to navigating confusing cultural messages—including rainbow flags, gender transitions in family, and the realities of pornography and trafficking—Laurie offers practical, age-appropriate guidance rooted in the Gospel. She helps parents understand why starting these conversations with God’s truth is essential and how to respond when kids ask difficult questions. Laurie also previews her upcoming book, providing a roadmap for parents seeking to equip their children to navigate today’s world safely, confidently, and with a biblical foundation. This episode is a must-listen for parents, caregivers, and anyone invested in raising children with wisdom and grace.

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448 - Parenting Kids During Recovery w/ Rodney & Traci Wright

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 3 Feb 2026 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, Rodney and Traci Wright dive into the delicate and vital topic of parenting while walking a recovery journey. Drawing from their book How to Talk with Your Kids About Sex, they explore why honesty, timing, and boundaries are essential when navigating recovery with children at home. From common mistakes parents make to practical guidance on age-appropriate disclosure, they provide insights for protecting children from the emotional rollercoaster while fostering understanding and trust. They also address how sharing recovery experiences with adult children can support both personal healing and family transformation. Filled with practical “dos,” encouragement, and real-life wisdom, this episode equips parents to walk the line between authenticity and protection, helping children grow up healthy, informed, and part of a recovery story rooted in hope and grace.

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447 - Talking To Kids About Sex: Boy Talk

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, John Fort returns to share insights from his book Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationships, a practical guide designed to help dads engage openly and confidently with their sons about sex, boundaries, and character. He explains why these conversations are often difficult for Christian parents, the common hesitations dads face, and the positive transformations he’s seen when fathers step into this important role. John highlights what’s new in the second edition and offers encouragement for dads of pre-teens, teens, and even adult sons, showing that it’s never too late to start. Filled with practical tips, real-life stories, and wisdom from years of ministry, this episode equips fathers—and the families around them—to build trust, accountability, and a legacy of integrity through honest, faith-filled conversations.

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446 - Talking To Kids About Sex: Girl Talk

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 20 Jan 2026 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we’re joined by Ashley Jameson, the author of a powerful new book designed to help moms and daughters navigate one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics: sex and healthy conversations about it. She shares what inspired her to write Girl Talk, how the book is structured, and what moms and daughters can expect as they walk through it together.

We’ll explore practical ways to move past awkwardness, create a safe and judgment-free space, and adapt conversations to different personalities and comfort levels. Ashley also tackles the biggest barriers parents face when addressing sexuality and offers hope for breaking cycles of shame.

Through her own story and insights, she reminds families that lasting growth happens when we focus on relationships over rules and keep open, honest communication going long after the book is finished.

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445 - The Third Circle: A Hidden Key To Recovery

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 13 Jan 2026 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, Josh Andrew explores how the start of a New Year can be a fresh opportunity for growth and focus in recovery. Moving beyond avoidance-based strategies, he introduces the Three Circles tool, emphasizing the importance of the outer circle—practices and behaviors that support a healthy, fulfilling life while reducing the risk of acting out.

Josh explains how self-care, understanding your God-given identity, and thoughtfully designing your outer circle can strengthen recovery and make it sustainable. He also addresses common mistakes, shares practical ways to involve supportive people, and highlights how clear communication can foster accountability.

Whether you’re new to recovery or looking to deepen your progress, this episode provides actionable insights and encouragement for building a holistic plan that promotes freedom, purpose, and lasting transformation.

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444 - A Better Commitment To Change

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 6 Jan 2026 10:30:00 +0000

In this insightful episode, Stuart Blade unpacks the power of the Commitment to Change—a practical tool designed to help individuals and couples experience real transformation in their recovery and spiritual growth.

He explains what a Commitment to Change is, who it’s for, and how it can move people from good intentions to lasting change. Drawing from years of experience leading and supervising groups, Stuart shares common mistakes people make when setting commitments and the key habits that help them find traction. He also offers encouragement for those who feel stuck, showing how this weekly rhythm can support larger life goals.

Whether you’re starting the new year with renewed motivation or looking to deepen your recovery journey, this episode will help you make meaningful, sustainable progress—one intentional step at a time.

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443 - Healing in Layers: The Gift of Recovery w/ Rodney & Traci Wright

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 30 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this heartfelt episode, Rodney and Traci Wright share their powerful story of finding healing—both individually and as a couple. Long before discovering Pure Desire, their recovery journey began with a deep recognition of their need for help and God’s grace to rebuild what was broken.

They open up about the early steps they took to survive as a couple, the community that supported them, and how joining a Pure Desire group years later helped them experience a new depth of healing and connection. Together, they reveal the truths and tools that have sustained their marriage and shaped their ongoing recovery.

Through honesty, accountability, and faith, Rodney and Traci now walk in freedom and are helping others do the same. Their story offers hope for any couple longing to experience the redemptive power of God’s healing love.

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442 - From Shame To Belonging: The Gift of Recovery w/ Brian Wolf

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 23 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this inspiring episode, we hear the powerful story of Brian Wolf’s journey toward healing and recovery. From the moment he realized he needed help to discovering the life-changing community of a Pure Desire group, this conversation explores how God meets us in our brokenness and leads us toward freedom.

Through honest reflection and personal experience, Brian shares the pivotal moments when healing began to take root—through connection, accountability, and the support of others walking the same path. You’ll hear the truths and tools that helped him move from pain to purpose, and how he’s now paying forward the gift of recovery to others.

Whether you’re early in your journey or seeking encouragement to keep going, this episode offers hope and direction for anyone desiring lasting transformation through Christ-centered community.

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441 - Redemptive Resilience: The Gift of Recovery w/ Adam & Becky Bradley

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 16 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this powerful episode, we sit down with a courageous couple, Adam and Becky Bradley, who share their honest and inspiring story of healing through the Pure Desire recovery process. From the moment they realized their need for help to the transformative experience of being in a Pure Desire group, they walk us through the highs, lows, and breakthroughs that marked their path.

They reflect on the early days of struggle, the deep impact of community and accountability, and the life-changing shift that came when they truly began to receive the healing God had for them—both individually and as a couple. You'll hear how vital tools, timeless truths, and consistent support played a role in sustaining their recovery and how they are now offering that same gift to others.

If you're longing for hope, wondering if real healing is possible, or looking for encouragement to take the next step, this episode is for you.

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440 - Healing The Whole Family: The Gift of Recovery w/ Randy & Lesli Bixby

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 9 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Randy and Leslie Bixby, the founders of The Family Reformation Project, to explore how their personal healing journey as a couple became a transformative mission to restore families everywhere. They share how pain became purpose, leading to a movement rooted in the belief that "family is God’s original government."

Through their story, listeners will discover how healing—though deeply personal—can become a generational gift, restoring identity, order, and legacy. We dive into the six life-giving protocols they’ve created to help families align with God’s design, offering hope and structure for those who feel lost or broken.

If you've ever believed your story is too damaged to be redeemed, this episode is for you.

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439 - Impossible Redemption: The Gift of Recovery w/ Josh & Avonlea Roy

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 2 Dec 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Josh and Avonlea Roy who vulnerably shares their journey of healing after infidelity and betrayal. From the pain of discovery to finding hope through the Pure Desire podcast in 2023, they recount the insights that helped them take their first steps toward restoration. Transitioning into group work with Betrayal & Beyond and Seven Pillars of Freedom, they discuss how these experiences deepened their healing and reshaped their faith. With honesty and encouragement, they reflect on pivotal moments that helped them rebuild trust, reconnect emotionally, and rediscover joy in their marriage. They also share how Pure Desire counseling and the Summit events provided breakthrough guidance along the way. Now hosts of their own show, Love After Lies, they offer wisdom, encouragement, and a message of hope to couples wondering if healing is possible. This episode is a reminder: love after betrayal is not only possible—it’s worth fighting for.

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Year End Giving

FREE Counseling Consultation

The Toxic War on Masculinity

Love After Lies Podcast

Authentic Intimacy (Juli Slattery)

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438 - Women's Voices: Surrendered Sexuality w/ Juli Slattery

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 25 Nov 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Juli Slattery, who has spent 15 years helping Christians navigate the complex terrain of sexuality in light of faith. We explore why so many struggle to surrender their sexuality to God and why the traditional church approach often falls short in addressing the real-life challenges people face today.

Juli dives into how unresolved sexual issues can create barriers in our relationship with God and explains why identity—rather than behavior—is the key starting point for true transformation. She uncovers four common identity traps—self-discovery, shame, performance, and relationship—that can derail spiritual and sexual growth.

Juli also challenges us to rethink the purpose of sexuality, offering practical insight on why simply stopping sexual sin is not enough and how surrendering sexual brokenness leads to lasting freedom.

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437 - Women's Voices: Recognizing Abuse in Marriage w/ Tabitha Westbrook

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 18 Nov 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this eye-opening episode, we sit down with Tabitha Westbrook, an advocate and expert passionate about helping individuals recognize and address abuse within marriage. Tabitha unpacks the often-misunderstood signs of abuse—both obvious and subtle—and challenges the dangerous belief that “it’s not abuse unless it’s physical.” She sheds light on how emotional, verbal, and spiritual abuse can deeply impact relationships, and how these patterns often overlap with addiction, including sexual addiction.

We also explore the complex dynamics that arise when both abuse and addiction are present and how the church and recovery communities can respond with wisdom, compassion, and safety. Whether you're a group leader, a recovery partner, or someone walking through a difficult marriage, this conversation offers clarity, courage, and hope. If you or someone you know may be in an unsafe relationship, this episode is a vital listen. You are not alone—and there is a path forward.

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Call To Peace Ministries

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436 - Women’s Voices: Grace and Redemption Through The Women of Scripture w/ Teresa Whiting | Ep. 436

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this deeply moving episode, we sit down with Teresa Whiting, the author of the book Graced, to explore the powerful, often overlooked stories of women in Scripture—like Tamar and Bathsheba—whose experiences of brokenness and redemption reveal the heart of God in profound ways. She shares the personal and spiritual journey that led her to write a book she never intended to, and how God gently transformed her resistance into a calling.

As she studied these women’s stories, Teresa discovered surprising truths about God’s tenderness, justice, and deep care for the hurting. Together, we unpack how Scripture speaks directly to those who feel too broken or too far gone, offering a message of grace, truth, and restoration.

For anyone wrestling with shame or still in the thick of healing, this conversation offers hope and permission to begin stewarding their story. God doesn't discard the wounded—He draws near, redeems, and uses their stories for His glory.

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435 - Women's Voices: Rebuilding Trust and Safety After Betrayal w/ Dr. Jill Manning

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 4 Nov 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this compelling episode, we sit down with Dr. Jill Manning, a leading expert in betrayal trauma whose groundbreaking research has brought critical awareness to the emotional toll of pornography use within intimate relationships. She shares her journey into this deeply personal and often misunderstood field, shedding light on the unique dynamics of betrayal trauma and its profound impact on partners and marriages.

We’ll discuss valuable insights into the most important findings from her work, common misconceptions that hinder healing, and the often-overlooked emotional responses betrayed partners experience. We explore therapeutic separation, cycles of distrust, and practical steps for fostering healing—both individually and as a couple.

Whether you're a clinician, spiritual leader, or someone walking the path of recovery, this episode offers both clarity and compassion. Join us for a powerful conversation that aims to restore hope, support deeper understanding, and encourage lasting healing after betrayal.

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434 - How Pastors Can Help Even if They're Not The Expert w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this essential episode, we dive into a candid conversation about the role of pastors and church leaders in responding to sexual addiction and betrayal trauma within their communities. Many leaders feel illequipped—or even fearful—of “getting it wrong” when someone discloses their pain.

Our guest, Dr. Barbara Steffens, offers practical wisdom on how pastors can take meaningful first steps, create shame-free environments, and offer spiritual care without needing to be counselors or experts. We explore common missteps leaders make, how to respond with grace when harmful advice is being given, and what it means to walk in both truth and compassion.

For those seeking to make their churches proactive rather than reactive, this conversation casts a vision for what safe, healing spaces can look like—where both individuals and couples impacted by sexual brokenness can find support, truth, and lasting hope. Whether you're a pastor, ministry leader, or a concerned member of your church, this episode is packed with clarity, encouragement, and next steps.

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433 - Creating a Culture of Grace in the Church w/ Ken Krueger

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we sit down with Pastor Ken Krueger to explore what it truly means to cultivate a culture of grace within the church. Pastor Ken shares his personal journey, the heart behind his ministry, and what inspired him to lead his congregation toward greater authenticity and healing.

Together, we talk about the challenges of shifting from performance-driven or shame-based models to a grace-filled approach that emphasizes wholeness. He reflects on the role of Pure Desire groups in fostering deeper community, the practical rhythms his church has implemented to support both leaders and members, and powerful stories of transformation that reveal the impact of grace in action.

With wisdom, honesty, and hope, this episode offers encouragement and advice to church leaders seeking to nurture authenticity in their own communities.

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Youth Leader Library

PD Church Membership

PDL

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Deeper Walk International

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432 - Why Pastors Don't Get Help With Their Addiction

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 14 Oct 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this honest and compassionate conversation, we explore the hidden struggles pastors often face—and why many suffer in silence. Our guest, Cal Rychener, unpacks the key barriers that keep church leaders from seeking help, including fear, shame, and unrealistic expectations. We look at the dangerous impact unaddressed struggles can have on both the pastor and the church, and the steps leadership can take to build a culture of proactive care and support.

Through real-life stories of pastors who finally reached out, we see the power of grace, community, and trusted resources—like those from Pure Desire—to bring healing and restoration. This episode also casts a hopeful vision for what a truly healthy church looks like: one that cares well for its leaders.

If you’re a pastor, church staff member, or simply someone who wants to support your leaders better, this conversation offers both challenge and encouragement.

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429 - The 6 Things To Do After You Catch Your Spouse Watching Porn

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 09:30:00 +0000

The day of discovery—when a partner finds out their spouse has been viewing porn—can feel like emotional devastation. In this powerful episode, we dive into the six most important steps betrayed partners should take in the aftermath, including reaching out for support, setting healthy boundaries, and allowing space for emotional chaos.

Our guest, Heather Kolb, sheds light on why the pain of discovery runs so deep, how to create a Safety Action Plan, and how betrayed partners can seek truth and healing without falling into shame or isolation. We also explore why rushing to reconciliation may do more harm than good and what to do when the struggling spouse refuses to seek help.

Whether you're in the early stages of betrayal trauma or walking alongside someone who is, this conversation offers grounding guidance, honest insight, and hope for healing. You are not alone, and your healing matters—starting today.

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428 - The 3 Most Critical Tools in Your Recovery

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 16 Sep 2025 09:30:00 +0000

The first 60 days after discovery or disclosure are some of the most overwhelming—and critical—moments in the recovery journey. In this episode, we unpack why this window matters so much and how to navigate it with clarity and purpose.

Our guest and clinician for Pure Desire, Josh Andrew, shares the top three tools every individual should begin using right away: the Recovery Action Plan, the Escape Plan, and the Three Circles. You'll learn how these tools help calm the chaos, provide direction, and interrupt destructive patterns before they take over. We walk through practical first steps for each, offering guidance that’s simple, actionable, and effective—even in crisis.

Whether you’re just starting recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers hope and structure for the days ahead.

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427 - 6 Steps To Take After You’ve Been Caught Watching Porn

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 9 Sep 2025 09:30:00 +0000

Getting caught looking at porn can be an emotionally overwhelming experience, filled with shame, confusion, and fear. In this episode, we sit down with Jason Karsten to explore the six most crucial steps someone should take immediately after discovery—from seeking support and establishing boundaries to giving themselves grace and beginning the healing process. Jason shares practical advice on taking responsibility without being consumed by shame, the importance of honesty and transparency, and how to shift the focus from just managing behavior to pursuing true inner transformation. We also discuss the power of creating healthy boundaries that foster growth rather than punishment, and why rushing your partner toward forgiveness may backfire. Whether you’re just beginning your recovery or helping someone else walk through it, this episode offers clear, compassionate guidance for navigating the difficult—but hopeful—path ahead. Healing is possible, and this conversation is a powerful first step toward lasting change.

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426 - The Ideal Group Member: Planning Recovery Beyond Year 1

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 2 Sep 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, Debby Flanagan shares valuable insight into what comes after the first year of recovery—a season often marked by both growth and new challenges. As the initial intensity of group begins to settle, many wonder: What’s next? Debby offers guidance on how to discern the right next step—whether it’s repeating a group, starting a new workbook, or stepping into leadership. She unpacks what it means to have a long-term vision for recovery while remaining grounded in the present moment.

You’ll hear about the shifting dynamics of recovery in Year 2 and beyond, the potential for plateau, and how to reignite momentum when things feel stale. Debby also emphasizes the ongoing importance of community, intentional relationships, and practical ways to keep your recovery work fresh and meaningful.

Whether you're stepping into your second year or helping someone else navigate theirs, this episode is packed with wisdom to help you stay committed, energized, and hopeful for the road ahead.

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Full Episode on YouTube

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425 - The Ideal Group Member: Getting Help Beyond Group

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 26 Aug 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this insightful episode, Tyler Chinchen unpacks the importance of knowing when group alone isn’t enough—and how seeking additional support can actually deepen the healing process. While recovery groups offer connection, structure, and hope, some seasons call for more personalized help.

Tyler shares the key signs that someone might benefit from working with a counselor, coach, spiritual director, or mentor—and breaks down the unique role each plays in the journey toward freedom. We also explore how to avoid becoming overly dependent on advice and instead take ownership of our healing. If you’ve ever felt ashamed or unsure about needing “extra help,” this conversation brings clarity, encouragement, and a fresh perspective.

Tyler also offers guidance for group leaders and members on how to support others in taking that next step, with compassion and healthy boundaries.

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Counseling Services and Referrals - Focus on the Family

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424 - The Ideal Group Member: The Ups and Downs of the Group Process

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this honest and hope-filled episode, Ashley Jameson shares wisdom from her own recovery journey and years of walking with others through the group process. Together, we explore the reality that healing in a group isn’t a straight line—it’s filled with both highs and lows.

Ashley highlights the moments that bring encouragement and motivation, as well as the common challenges that can cause doubt or discouragement. She offers practical insight for staying engaged when things feel slow, painful, or uncertain—and reminds us why honesty and consistency are so essential to long-term growth. Through powerful stories of breakthrough and perseverance, Ashley paints a picture of what’s possible when we don’t give up.

Whether you're in a tough season or supporting someone who is, this conversation is a timely reminder: you’re not alone, and the process is worth it.

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423 - The Ideal Group Member: Starting Group Well

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 12 Aug 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode of our series, The Ideal Group Member, Rich Moore joins us to talk about what it really means to “start group well”—and why those first few weeks can make all the difference in the healing journey. He unpacks the key mindsets and attitudes that help set the tone for lasting growth, along with common mistakes to avoid when beginning a Pure Desire group.

From the importance of consistency to the challenge of building trust with strangers, Rich offers practical wisdom for both new members and seasoned leaders. Whether you’re feeling excited, nervous, or skeptical about group, this conversation will give you clarity, confidence, and hope for what’s ahead. You’ll also hear how leaders and existing members can create a safe, supportive environment where true healing can begin.

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422 - Developing a Spiritual Growth Plan

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 5 Aug 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this transformative episode, Harry Flanagan unpacks the vital role of a spiritual growth plan in long-term healing and freedom. He shares why a clear, intentional path isn’t just helpful—it’s essential, especially for those navigating recovery. What does a spiritual growth plan actually look like? Is there a rhythm that fosters consistency without becoming rigid? Harry addresses common gaps in spiritual development, particularly when someone feels disconnected from God or has experienced spiritual trauma. You’ll also hear how practices like Scripture reading, prayer, and worship impact the brain, body, and soul—offering holistic support in the healing journey. Plus, we explore the irreplaceable role of community in accountability and encouragement. For those feeling stuck despite doing all the “right” things, Harry offers both grace and practical tools to move forward with hope. Whether you're building your plan or needing fresh perspective, this episode meets you right where you are.

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421 - The Battlefield For The Mind

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode of the Foundations of Freedom series, Heather Kolb joins us as we dive deep into the battlefield of the mind—where true healing begins. From a neuroscience perspective, we explore how the brain processes sexual brokenness and trauma, and why understanding this is key to lasting transformation. Many people believe they’re just “wired this way,” but what if you could actually retrain your brain?

Heather unpacks the difference between wiring and training, how shame keeps us stuck, and why triggers and relapse are often rooted in brain function—not failure. With practical tools and powerful insights, she offers hope and direction for anyone feeling overwhelmed by their thought life.

If you've ever wondered whether freedom is out of reach, this episode will remind you that your mind is not your enemy—it’s the starting place for breakthrough.

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420 - Foundations of Freedom: Establishing Sobriety

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 09:30:00 +0000

Sobriety isn’t just about stopping a behavior—it’s about building a new way of living. In this powerful episode, Stuart Blade dives into what it truly means to establish sobriety and not just temporarily abstain. He shares practical steps for protecting your progress, limiting the damage of past behaviors, and preventing future setbacks.

For those just starting out, Stuart offers insight into the mental and emotional hurdles of early recovery—and how to face them with strength and clarity. We also explore how to rebuild trust, embrace accountability, and shift from behavior management to identity transformation. With honesty and compassion, Stuart addresses the tension between grace and discipline, and how self-compassion plays a crucial role in the healing process.

If sobriety feels overwhelming or out of reach, this episode is filled with practical encouragement, real hope, and steps forward. Lasting change is possible—and it begins one intentional choice at a time.

Resources:

Three Circles Podcast

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419 - Surrendering to the Process

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, Kelly Johnston, the Women’s Groups Lead at Pure Desire, shares her profound insights on the healing journey and the importance of “surrendering to the process.” We explore how trust and vulnerability play key roles in surrendering control and embracing God’s timing, despite the fear and resistance many women face.

Kelly discusses common obstacles in recovery and how to navigate the “messiness” of the process without becoming discouraged. She offers practical steps for staying committed when the journey feels long and challenging, while emphasizing the power of slow, intentional healing.

With encouragement for those struggling with shame or past hurts, Kelly offers a hopeful message about trusting God’s unwavering commitment to our healing and freedom.

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418 - Understanding the Nature of Sexual Addiction w/ Sam Jolman

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 8 Jul 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we are joined by Sam Jolman. He is the author of, The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality, and an expert in the field of sexual health and addiction recovery. Today we’re going to dive deep into the complexities of pornography use, compulsive sexual behavior, and the path to healing. Sam shares insights into how these behaviors can become addictive, offering a compassionate look at what it means to face down these struggles. Together, we explore how early relational wounds impact sexuality and intimacy, and how understanding one's full story of sexual development can be key in breaking unhealthy patterns.

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 17 Jun 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this insightful episode, Dr. Jake Porter shares his expertise on sex addiction and betrayal trauma through the powerful lens of the theme Anchored in Hope.

Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and spiritual truth, Dr. Jake unpacks how understanding the brain's role in addiction and trauma can offer a renewed sense of hope to those feeling stuck in cycles of pain. He explores how couples can begin to rebuild trust after betrayal, and how healing attachment wounds leads to healthier, more secure relationships. Dr. Jake emphasizes the importance of integrating psychology, spirituality, and neuroscience for a holistic recovery journey.

With practical steps and compassionate wisdom, he offers guidance for individuals and couples working to restore emotional and relational health. Whether you're in recovery, supporting someone who is, or simply seeking deeper understanding, this conversation is rich with hope. Dr. Jake also shares why the Pure Desire Summit is a must-attend for anyone pursuing lasting healing and freedom.

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Dr. Porter's Website

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The Urge: Our History of Addiction

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414 - Anchored in Hope: A Conversation with Adrian Hickmon

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 10 Jun 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, Dr. Adrian Hickmon, founder of Capstone Treatment Center, shares his deep insights into the transformative power of hope in recovery, particularly for those struggling with addiction and trauma. Drawing on his firsthand experience, he explores how hope anchors individuals, helping them rediscover purpose and faith amidst emotional pain.

Adrian sheds light on how people can break free from the shame and guilt tied to their struggles, offering a path to healing and lasting change. He also tackles common misconceptions about recovery and emphasizes the importance of a holistic approach that integrates faith, emotional healing, and practical skills for lasting transformation. With a focus on grace and identity, Adrian offers valuable advice for counselors and ministers supporting those in recovery.

He highlights the significance of attending the Pure Desire Summit, sharing how it provides a space for attendees to gain new insights and tools for helping others.

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Adrian’s New Book

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413 - Anchored in Hope: A Conversation with Dr. Sheri Denham Keffer

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 3 Jun 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this powerful and deeply compassionate episode, Dr. Sheri Denham Keffer joins us to explore the theme Anchored in Hope—a lifeline for those navigating the stormy waters of sexual betrayal, trauma, and addiction. With wisdom drawn from years of walking alongside individuals in pain, Dr. Sheri unpacks how rediscovering our true identity in Christ fosters self-awareness, ignites healing, and grounds us in a hope that endures—even when it feels out of reach.

We dive into practical steps for reconnecting with hope during the darkest moments, how to support loved ones in their recovery without minimizing their experience, and what it looks like to break free from cycles of shame and brokenness. Dr. Sheri also shares stories of powerful transformation and trust restored through the choice to hope again.

Whether you're on a healing journey yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers rich encouragement and insight—and a compelling reason to attend the upcoming Pure Desire Summit.

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412 - Neurodivergence, Addiction, & Healing w/ Jenna Riemersma

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 27 May 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we dive into the world of neurodivergence and its unique connection to addiction and recovery. Our guest, Jenna Riemersma, shares insights into what neurodivergence means and offers examples of behaviors that may be seen in neurodivergent individuals.

We explore the specific challenges they face when dealing with addiction and recovery, and how mental health stigma can impact their journey. We also discuss the concept of self-regulation and its relationship to addictive behaviors, as well as the importance of neurodiversity education in addiction recovery settings. We provide practical strategies for managing recovery and how family and friends can better support neurodivergent individuals.

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Jenna's Website

Help Her Heal

Embrace Autism

Autism In The Adult Podcast

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Association For Autism & Neurodiversity

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411 - Jay Stringer on Mental Health, Healing, & Transformation

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 20 May 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we delve deep into the intersection of mental health, trauma, and unwanted sexual behavior, exploring how our past experiences shape our present struggles. Our guest, Jay Stringer, shares powerful insights into the connection between unresolved wounds and their impact on mental health, offering practical guidance on how to approach healing with curiosity instead of self-condemnation. We discuss the importance of understanding our stories, how attachment theory influences our relationships and mental health, and how faith can play a pivotal role in the healing process.

We’ll explore why it's crucial to focus on the "why" behind behaviors, rather than simply trying to stop them, and how to break free from unhealthy patterns that keep us stuck. With compassion and curiosity at the core of the conversation, Jay offers valuable advice for anyone feeling overwhelmed in their healing journey, helping them take their first practical steps toward mental wellness.

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410 - Social Media, Porn, & Mental Health w/ Ben Bennett

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 13 May 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we dig into the intersection of pornography use, social media, and mental health, exploring how these modern influences are shaping our perceptions of intimacy, relationships, and self-worth. We discuss how most people's journey with porn typically begins, early signs that it’s negatively affecting mental health, and how social media plays a significant role in fueling these behaviors.

Our conversation addresses common mental health challenges linked to problematic porn and social media use, such as anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues. We explore how these habits can distort a person’s understanding of relationships and sexuality, and the shame and guilt that often accompany these struggles, exacerbating mental health issues.

We discuss the underlying personality traits that make someone more vulnerable to using porn or social media as coping mechanisms, and the role isolation plays in worsening emotional distress. We offer practical advice on how to recognize when porn and social media use are negatively impacting mental health and relationships, and the first steps toward healing and recovery.

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409 - The Church, Mental Health, & Healing w/ Dr. Carol Tanksley

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 6 May 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we explore the intersection of faith and mental health with Dr. Carol Tanksley who has dedicated their life to helping others heal from fear, anxiety, grief, and more. We’ll talk about the Church’s role in addressing mental health struggles, unpack common misconceptions Christians hold about anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges, and discuss how believers can distinguish between spiritual battles and mental health issues.

This conversation highlights the importance of creating safe spaces within the Church for those struggling with mental health, the role of community in the healing process, and offers powerful encouragement for those feeling hopeless in their battle with mental health challenges.

Resources:

Dr. Carol's Website

Pure Desire Tools

Genesis Process

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Unlocking The Bibles Wisdom on Addiction

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408 - Resurrecting Biblical Sexuality

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 29 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we dive into the topic of biblical sexuality with Rodney Wright. We discuss his passion for addressing this often-overlooked issue and why the conversation around biblical sexuality is “dead” in many churches today. Exploring beyond the simple “sex is for marriage” approach, we discuss how we can recover a more holistic, biblical understanding of human sexuality in a modern context.

Rodney shares insights on balancing sexual holiness with compassion for those struggling with brokenness, the role of marriage in God’s design, and how the resurrection of Jesus brings renewal to both our sexuality and community. Plus, we preview how churches can better support singles in embracing biblical sexuality. Tune in for an enlightening and thought-provoking conversation!

Resources:

The Theology Of Addiction

Parent Training Course Trailer

7 Pillars of Freedom

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'Unwanted' by Jay Stringer

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407 - Resurrecting a View of Sexual and Single

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 22 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we dig into the often overlooked intersection of singleness and sexuality, exploring how we can resurrect a healthier, more holistic view of both. We discuss the importance of stewarding sexual desire with integrity, especially in a culture that promotes instant gratification and casual relationships.

Our guests share their personal stories of God’s redemptive work in their sexuality during their single years and offer insights on how the church can better support and value singles. We also explore the difference between sexuality and sensuality and how to hold space for both desire and disappointment with hope and faith.

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406 - Resurrecting a Dead Marriage

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 15 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000

Description

In this raw and vulnerable episode, Mike and Megan Ramirez share their powerful journey of rediscovering hope and redemption in their marriage after hitting rock bottom. They take us back to the moment of discovery, revealing how a devastating truth almost ended it all. Through heartache, denial, and moments of deep despair, they walk us through their process of healing, the critical steps they took to save their marriage, and the people who played pivotal roles in their transformation.

They reveal how God turned their darkest days into milestones of redemption, transforming what was once a marriage on the brink of collapse into a thriving partnership. They share the daily habits, mindset shifts, and lessons learned that have helped them rebuild and sustain their bond, offering practical insights on how to keep a marriage strong.

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The Center For Being Known

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405 - Resurrection From a Life of Fear and Anxiety w/ Dr. Curt Thompson

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 8 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In today’s episode, we sit down with Dr. Curt Thompson to explore the complex relationship between anxiety, trauma, and the stories we tell ourselves. We discuss how feelings of anxiety and aloneness are intertwined, how trauma affects the brain, and the powerful role of secure relationships and community in healing.

Dr. Thompson also shares practical steps for understanding and moving through anxiety, breaking free from isolation, and reconnecting with others and with God. Plus, we dive into the impact of spiritual practices like prayer and Scripture meditation in calming the mind and grounding us in peace. Don’t miss this enlightening conversation!

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Dr. Curt’s Website

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404 - Resurrecting Sexual Health in the Church w/ Andrew Rothrock

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 1 Apr 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this impactful episode, we sit down with Pastor Andrew Rothrock of Riverbend Church in Bend, Oregon, to explore what it means to create a church culture that actively supports sexual health and healing. Riverbend is setting a powerful example by making recovery from compulsive sexual behavior and betrayal trauma a visible and valued part of their ministry.

We talk with Andrew about why their church made sexual wholeness a key discipleship focus, how they’ve integrated Pure Desire groups into the life of their community, and the incredible transformation they’re seeing in both individuals and marriages.

From reducing shame to developing future leaders, this episode is full of encouragement for churches and pastors who want to lead with grace and truth in this vital area.

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Church Toolkit

Andrews Church

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403 - Helping Women Escape Exploitation

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 25 Mar 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Jasmine Marino, Founder and Director of Jasmine Grace Outreach, to discuss their life-changing work helping survivors escape sex trafficking and begin their recovery journey. From providing tailored recovery support groups to offering essential mentoring and coaching, Jasmine Grace Outreach goes above and beyond to empower individuals who have experienced both sexual exploitation and addiction.

We dive into the challenges the organization faces, the unique needs of survivors, and how they work to raise awareness about the links between addiction, pornography, and trafficking.

Resources:

Jasmine Grace Outreach

Jasmine's Book

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402 - How Pornography Fuels a Culture of Abuse w/ NCOSE VP of Research, Lisa Thompson

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 18 Mar 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this eye-opening episode, we’re joined by Lisa Thompson, Vice President of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation’s Research Institute. We delve into the complex and often misunderstood connection between pornography and sexual exploitation. We explore how the consumption of porn fuels industries that profit from human trafficking and exploitation, and the psychological, relational, and societal consequences of widespread pornography use. We discuss the legal gaps that allow these harms to persist, and what policies need to change to protect vulnerable individuals.

We also tackle the role of social media and mainstream platforms in spreading exploitative content and the accountability measures that should be in place. Parents and caregivers will gain insight into the significant impact pornography has on children and teens, with practical advice on how to safeguard their well-being.

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Get The Barna Report

NCOSE Website

Living Undefiled

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401 - What No One Tells You About The Sex Industry

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 09:30:00 +0000

In this eye-opening episode, we dig into the complexities of the adult entertainment industry, shedding light on the personal stories often hidden behind its glitzy façade. Rey Jordan, a counselor with experience working with individuals in the industry, shares her insights on the real-life struggles that lead people to seek counseling and the trauma that shapes their experiences.

We discuss the pathways many women take into the adult industry, the societal narratives that fail to reflect their true stories, and the ways in which pain and trauma shape their journeys. This conversation challenges the popular belief that adult performers are simply making a "choice," and explores the damaging cultural assumptions that perpetuate this mindset.

The conversation touches on how the public’s view of pornography and the adult industry could change if people understood the deeper realities behind it. We discuss how people in recovery can use their healing to create positive change, and offer advice for those wanting to make a difference in the lives of those affected by the adult entertainment industry. Tune in for a powerful discussion that will change the way you think about these difficult issues.

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400 - Celebrating 400 Episodes w/ Listener Q&A

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 4 Mar 2025 10:30:00 +0000

Today we’re celebrating episode 400 of the Pure Desire Podcast! So we did things a little differently. We talk through the most memorable episodes, the most surprising guests, and Nick’s most unique opening song. We also share a couple testimonies from listeners personally impacted by the podcast. Then, we mix things up by doing a listener’s Q&A. We answer questions about: lying during the recovery process; why sexually acting out feels so personal to the betrayed partner; what the Superhero’s Odyssey revealed; how to equip the Church to reach teens; and more.

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399 - Reintegrating Sex After Betrayal

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we tackle the challenging yet crucial topic of reintegrating sex into a marriage after betrayal. Rebecca Vander Meer and Traci Wright, two Pure Desire Clinicians, share why this is such a struggle for many couples and the common mistakes that can hinder progress. From rushing the process to overlooking emotional intimacy, we explore what couples can do to overcome these obstacles.

The conversation also highlights key strategies that successful couples use—such as open communication, mutual respect, and taking things step by step—to rebuild a healthy and fulfilling physical connection. Join us for an honest and insightful discussion on navigating this sensitive journey together.

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398 - Rebuilding Marital Trust w/ Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we delve into the emotional journey of couples healing from betrayal. We’re joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, relationship experts and authors, who share insights from their work on the Intimacy Pyramid—a framework designed to help couples rebuild trust, connection, and intimacy after a betrayal. We explore the different stages of healing, from honesty and emotional safety to full intimacy, and how this process varies for betraying spouses, betrayed partners, and the couple as a whole. We discuss common roadblocks couples face and how they can overcome them. Matthew and Joanna offer practical steps couples can take right now to start healing, as well as encouragement for anyone who feels stuck or hopeless on their journey to restoration.

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The Raabsmith's Website

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397 - The Deep Rooted Marriage w/ Dr. Dan Allender

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Dan Allender, renowned author and counselor, to discuss the themes of his latest book: The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. Dan shares the inspiration behind writing it and offers powerful insights into strengthening marriages.

We explore key questions such as: What does it mean to truly honor your spouse? How can couples resolve conflicts without one partner feeling submissive? What role do past wounds play in shaping our present relationships?

Dan also discusses how shame, judgment, and resentment hinder intimacy, and how Christians can use therapeutic skills to foster connection. Join us for an enlightening conversation on love, vulnerability, and healing.

Resources:

The Allender Center

The Deep Rooted Marriage

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396 - Rupture & Repair: Strengthening the Parent-Child Bond w/ Dr. Jake Porter

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 4 Feb 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative concept of "rupture and repair" in parenting with expert Dr. Jake Porter. As a featured expert in the Parent Training Course, he unpacks the crucial role this process plays in building stronger, more resilient relationships between parents and children.

We explore what happens when emotional ruptures occur—whether through misunderstandings, miscommunication, or outbursts—and how parents can recognize when their child feels disconnected or hurt. Dr. Jake shares practical insights on how to approach repair with vulnerability, empathy, and emotional presence, offering concrete strategies for parents navigating the complexities of connection and healing.

Tune in for actionable advice, relatable stories, and expert wisdom on fostering deeper bonds with your children through the process of rupture and repair.

Resources:

Daring Ventures

Dr. Jake Porter's Website

Dr. Jake Porter's Youtube Channel

Dr. Jake Porter's Instagram

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395 - Parenting In A Digital Age w/ Kristen Jenson

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 28 Jan 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode, we tackle one of the most pressing concerns for parents today: protecting children from the dangers of pornography. Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, shares her inspiration behind writing the book and her mission to help parents guide their young children through the complexities of online content in a way that is age-appropriate and effective.

We discuss the concept of "porn-proofing" children, which was explored in Pure Desire’s new Parent Training Course, and why it's more crucial than ever for parents to take an active role in safeguarding their kids from harmful material.

With many parents feeling overwhelmed by the task of guiding their children through the digital landscape, Nick, Heather, and Kristen provide practical advice on how to approach these tough conversations with confidence, compassion, and love. Whether you're just starting to think about these issues or are already deep in the process of "porn-proofing" your children, this episode offers essential tools and insights for every parent in today’s digital age.

Resources:

Get 'Good Pictures Bad Pictures'

Kristen's Organization

DYM on FB

DYM on LinkedIn

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394 - Educating Parents On Biblical Sexual Health

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 10:30:00 +0000

Join us as we explore the intersection of faith and sexual health education, with expert insights from Dr. Glen Maiden on how to approach teaching children about sex from a biblical perspective. As a biblical sexual health educator, Dr. Glen shares how to approach this sensitive topic with children in a way that honors faith-based values while promoting healthy, balanced views of sexuality.

We discuss how to introduce sexual health teachings to children, both from a practical and scriptural standpoint, and how biblical principles can shape these conversations. We discuss how parents can break free from unhealthy or shame-based approaches to sexuality, especially if they grew up in environments where sex was stigmatized or misunderstood.

You'll learn how to talk about sex in a way that avoids instilling shame or fear, and instead, encourages healthy, respectful attitudes toward their bodies and relationships. For parents who feel uncertain or overwhelmed by these conversations, this episode offers compassionate advice on how to approach the subject with confidence and grace.

Resources:

Dr. Glen's Website

Parent Training Trailer

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393 - Training Parents For Conversations About Sex

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 10:30:00 +0000

In today’s episode, we dive deep into one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics for parents: talking with your kids about sex. We’re joined by Rodney and Traci Wright, authors of How to Talk With Your Kids About Sex and the primary speakers in Pure Desire’s new Parent Training Course. We tackle key issues like how to address our own sexual health as parents, the challenges of today's media landscape, and how to adjust these conversations as children grow. We also discuss common fears parents have, such as whether talking about sex too early might encourage risky behavior—and why, in fact, it can help prevent it. This conversation goes beyond the biology of sex and emphasizes the emotional, spiritual, and relational aspects that are just as critical to discuss with kids. You'll hear how trust plays a crucial role in keeping the lines of communication open and what parents can do if they've missed early opportunities to talk about sex.

Resources:

Full Episode on Youtube

Parent Training Course Trailer

Rodney & Traci's Book

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392 - She Deserves Better w/ Sheila Wray Gregoire

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 7 Jan 2025 10:30:00 +0000

Navigating healthy relationships with teens can feel overwhelming, especially in a culture full of conflicting messages about identity and sexuality. In this episode, we explore how to raise kids with a biblically grounded and holistic view of sexuality. Drawing from Sheila Wray Gregoire's new book, She Deserves Better, this conversation offers practical tools and transformative insights for parents, youth leaders, and anyone invested in guiding the next generation. Whether you're teaching boundaries, addressing purity culture's impact, or fostering open and respectful conversations, this episode equips you to build healthier relationships and a stronger foundation of faith. Perfect for parents, mentors, and anyone committed to shaping a future of integrity and connection, this discussion encourages you to approach these challenges with wisdom and grace.

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She Deserves Better

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391 - Looking Back & Looking Ahead

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 10:30:00 +0000

Happy New Year’s Eve! In this special year-end episode, host Nick Stumbo and guest co-host Heather Kolb dive into the value of self-reflection as we close out one year and prepare for the next. Whether you’re in the middle of a recovery journey, pursuing personal growth, or simply looking for practical ways to start the new year with purpose, this episode has something for you.

Nick and Heather discuss why self-reflection is vital, not just at the end of the year but throughout our lives. They explore how pausing to look back can help us uncover insights about ourselves, our relationships, and our faith, and how those insights can inform our steps forward. Learn practical tips for identifying priorities, setting achievable goals, and inviting God and others into the process.

Tune in for practical wisdom, heartfelt encouragement, and a few laughs as we look back on the past year and step boldly into 2025.

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390 - Navigating Relational Stress During The Holidays

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 24 Dec 2024 10:30:00 +0000

Resources:

Full Episode on Youtube

Unwanted by Jay Stringer

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389 - Parents, Porn, and the Church w/ Sam Black (Part 8/8)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 17 Dec 2024 10:30:00 +0000

Sam Black, the author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It and the Director of Recovery Education at Covenant Eyes, joins the podcast today to wrap up an 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Sam explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.

Resources:

Sam's Book

Covenant Eyes

Covenant Eyes Resources

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388 - Rebuilding Trust Together w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens (Part 7/8)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 10 Dec 2024 10:30:00 +0000

According to Beyond the Porn Phenomenon, women are 3x more likely to say porn use of a partner makes them feel that their spouse doesn’t care about them. Dr. Barbara Steffens helps break down why porn use connects so acutely to the relationship for women, shares advice you would give to create change, and why pornography use by one spouse is not a marriage issue but rather an issue that impacts and wounds the marriage. Dr. Barbara Steffens, the founding President of the Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists.

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387 - How Pornography Use Impacts Marriage w/ Carol Juergensen Sheets (Part 6/8)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 3 Dec 2024 10:30:00 +0000

Carol Juergensen Sheets, better known as Carol the Coach, joins the podcast today in part 6 of our deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon. Carol helps us unpack some of the specific stats that impact relationships and gives insight into how the church can support betrayed partners.

Nick, Ashley, and Carol discuss how this research can raise awareness, spark new conversations, and guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing.

This eight episode exploration into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.

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Carol's Website

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386 - How The Porn Industry Secretly Preys on Women w/ Crystal Renaud Day (Part 5/8)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 10:30:00 +0000

In part five of our deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon report, we’re joined by Crystal Renaud Day. She is the CEO and Founder of Living on Purpose, as well as the Founder and Executive Director of SheRecovery. Crystal joins the podcast today to share her insights on the new data on pornography use, its impact on young women who struggle, and how this equips the Church to be a safe place for healing. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Crystal explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and providing real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.

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Crystal's Website

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385 - The Church MUST Address This w/ Sean McDowell (Part 4/8)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 19 Nov 2024 10:30:00 +0000

In part four of our deep dive into the Beyond the Porn Phenomenon report, we’re joined by Dr. Sean McDowell to discuss the subtle dangers of denial and rationalization around pornography within Christian communities. Dr. McDowell shares insights from his years of research and experience in helping the church engage with this difficult topic. We address questions around why so many feel “comfortable” with their struggles, the vital role of recovery ministries, and how the church can create a compassionate, welcoming space for true transformation. Join us for a conversation that sheds light on a subject too often left in the shadows. Dr. Sean McDowell is a renowned professor, author, apologist, and a contributing voice to Beyond the Porn Phenomenon.

Resources:

Sean's Youtube

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384 - Reclaiming Authentic Intimacy w/ Juli Slattery (Part 3/8)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 12 Nov 2024 10:30:00 +0000

Dr. Juli Slattery a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, joins the podcast for part three of our series looking at the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church.

Together, Nick, Ashley, and Juli explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing.

Resources:

Java With Juli Podcast

Authentic Intimacy Website

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383 - How Data Leads To Change w/ Daniel Copeland (Part 2/8)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 5 Nov 2024 10:30:00 +0000

Daniel Copeland, Senior Lead Researcher of Barna Group, joins the podcast today for the second episode in our 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, they explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.

Resources:

Order 'Beyond The Porn Phenomenon'

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382 - Beyond The Porn Phenomenon w/ David Kinnaman (Part 1/8)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 29 Oct 2024 09:30:00 +0000

David Kinnaman, CEO of Barna Group, joins the podcast today to help kick off an 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, with Nick Stumbo and Ashley Jameson, they explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing.

This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report.

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381 - Moving Beyond Sobriety W/ Jenna Riemersma

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 22 Oct 2024 16:00:00 +0000

Jenna Riemersma is back again to explore why true healing goes beyond sobriety. This is a deep dive into the role of trauma and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy addresses underlying issues that drive compulsive behaviors. Whether you’re new to recovery or looking to deepen your healing journey, Jenna’s insights will offer fresh perspectives on understanding and embracing the parts of ourselves that carry pain and shame. Don't miss this powerful conversation on moving beyond mere behavior change to experiencing true transformation.

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Jenna's Website

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380 - Caring For Partners Well

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 15 Oct 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Jeanne Vittoni is the president of APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists) and joins the podcast to discuss the vital role of partner care in sex addiction recovery.

With over 25 years of experience working with trauma survivors, Jeanne unpacks how understanding trauma symptomatology, setting up safe support systems, and getting proper training can accelerate the healing process.

Jeanne shares her insights on trauma recovery for betrayed partners, why it’s important to address both the addict’s and the partner’s healing, and how proper trauma care can transform a relationship.

Whether you're a struggling addict, a betrayed partner, or a professional wanting to offer better support, this episode will provide valuable strategies for navigating the road to recovery together.

Resources:

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse Book

APSATS Website

APSATS Podcast

Betrayal Trauma Religious Leaders (BTRL) Training

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379 - The Role of Intensives in Recovery

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 8 Oct 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Nick is joined by Robert Vander Meer and Matt Wenger to discuss the transformative impact of two-week intensives on sexual addiction recovery. This episode is a deep dive into the TINSA model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) exploring how intensives help uncover the "why" behind addiction and the importance of addressing both personal trauma and relational healing.

Matt Wenger is the Clinical Director of Boulder Recovery in Boulder, Colorado.

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Full Episode on YouTube

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378 - Intimate Deception w/ Dr. Sheri Denham-Keffer

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 1 Oct 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Today’s guest, Dr. Sheri Denham-Keffer, is the author of Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal, a therapist, and betrayed partner herself.

Dr. Denham-Keffer shares insights on betrayal trauma, healing, and recovery. This episode offers hope and guidance for those facing betrayal or compulsive sexual behaviors. The discussion covers the impact of sexual deception, the importance of truth-telling, and practical steps for partners to rebuild their lives.

Resources

Intimate Deception: Healing The Wounds Of Sexual Betrayal

FREE MONTH Of Brave One Community

Betrayal Recovery Roadmap

Brave One Recommended Resources

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377 - Launching Pure Desire Group: A Church Success Story

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 24 Sep 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Nick and Rodney sit down with Pastor Ryan Oletzke of True Hope Church in Spokane, Washington, to discuss how to start Pure Desire groups in your church, break shame, and build a culture of honesty.

Ryan shares how his church addressed sexual brokenness by launching Pure Desire groups, starting with over 200 people participating in Sexual Integrity 101. He offers practical insights on building a culture of vulnerability, lowering shame, and leading a church to find healing and freedom.

This episode is a must-listen for pastors and church leaders looking to make a real impact in their communities by addressing sexual health and recovery.

RESOURCES

How to Start Pure Desire Groups brochure.

TrueHope Website

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376 - Reaching the Next Gen

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 09:30:00 +0000

This episode explores the challenges young people face today, including mental health issues, pornography, and the impact of growing up in the digital age.

Ben Bennett, leader of the Resolution Movement, shares his experience connecting with Gen Z through social media and offering hope, freedom, and healing through the message of Christ. Join Nick Stumbo, John Begeman, and Ben as they discuss how curiosity, compassion, and authentic relationships can help guide this generation toward healthy sexuality and mental well-being.

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Full Episode on YouTube

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375 - Facing Our Trauma Story

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 10 Sep 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Today, we’re welcoming Louie Kazemier to the podcast. Louie is a longtime friend of Pure Desire and opens up about confronting childhood trauma, overcoming resistance to group therapy, and finding freedom from compulsive sexual behavior. His story is a testament to the power of vulnerability, community, and God’s grace in the healing process.

Whether you’re on your own recovery journey or supporting someone else, this episode offers hope and encouragement. Tune in to hear Louie’s inspiring story of transformation.

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374 - 10 Mistakes When Launching Recovery Groups

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 3 Sep 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Today, Nick Stumbo and Rich Moore explore 10 common mistakes churches make when launching recovery groups. They share practical advice on avoiding pitfalls like isolating or shaming language and the dangers of a quick-fix approach.

This episode is essential for pastors and leaders looking to create and sustain effective, long-lasting recovery groups within their church community.

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373 - Empathy and Emotional Awareness

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 27 Aug 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Today, we’re diving into a topic that is often overlooked but crucial to the healing and recovery process—empathy and emotional awareness. We’ll explore the importance of developing empathy, not just for yourself but within relationships, especially in the context of recovery from addiction and healing from betrayal.

Through personal stories, practical advice, and proven tools, we’ll discuss how empathy can be a game-changer in reversing isolation, breaking addiction, and fostering deeper, healthier connections.

Whether you're in recovery, supporting a loved one, or simply looking to improve your relationships, this episode offers valuable insights into building empathy and emotional resilience.

RESOURCES

Gottman's Aftermath of a Regrettable Incident

FANOS Checkin:

Help Her Heal workbook

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372 - Healing From Sexual Abuse w/ Marnie Ferree

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 20 Aug 2024 09:30:00 +0000

In this episode, Marnie Ferree, the founder of Bethesda Workshops, courageously shares her journey of healing from sexual abuse and addiction, offering hope and practical insights for anyone on a similar path. This powerful conversation highlights the importance of understanding your story, embracing God’s redemptive power, and finding support in the healing process.

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371 - Changing The Paradigm Around Sex In The Church

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 13 Aug 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Today Nick and Rodney discuss powerful insights on how to approach the conversation around sexuality in the church with love and grace. They emphasize the importance of sharing your personal journey without shame, offering support to church leaders, and fostering a more open and healing environment.

Whether you're a church leader or a congregation member, this episode provides practical advice on creating positive change in your community. Discover how to engage in meaningful conversations that lead to transformation.

Don't forget to subscribe, share this episode, and leave a review to help others start their healing journey.

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370 - How Can The Betrayed Heart Heal? w/ Barbara Steffens

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 6 Aug 2024 09:30:00 +0000

God has the ability to redeem even the darkest times.

Dr. Steffens takes a deep dive into the healing and recovery process following betrayal—focused mostly on the betrayed partner but also on how the betrayer can help the process. You will be encouraged and gain hope for the future! There is a proven path and essential tools for healing and growth, when we invite God to do what only He can do: REDEEM.

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369 - From Isolation To Collaboration w/ Nate Larkin

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 30 Jul 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Recovery doesn’t have to feel like solitary confinement.

As with many areas of our lives, we need others to walk alongside us, to encourage and support us. And this is especially true when it comes to our recovery and healing journey.

Today we’re revisiting Nate Larkin’s session from the 2023 Pure Desire Summit to learn what it looks like to redefine recovery as a team sport. In community is where recovery happens best.

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368 - Rebuilding Life After Discovery

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 23 Jul 2024 09:30:00 +0000

The moment of discovery in a marriage or relationship is crushing. The exposure of sexual addiction or unfaithfulness wrecks the relationship. Is there any hope to rebuild? Should we even rebuild? On today's episode, we're joined by Traci Wright (Pure Desire Clinician). Traci knows firsthand the damage the discovery of sexual betrayal does. But she also knows the healing power of Jesus and walking a recovery and healing journey. With Traci's help, we talk through what it looks like to rebuild our lives after discovery.

RESOURCES

International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP)

Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS)

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367 - Stories Of Healing: Vicki & Johnny Greenfield

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 16 Jul 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Vicki and Johnny Greenfield are legends in the Pure Desire community! Today, we get to hear their story of healing. Starting with how sexuality was discussed in their homes, moving to sexual brokenness and how it entered their lives, and then moving to how God healed them and their marriage—their story is powerful! Not only will you be encouraged by their story of healing, but you will be inspired by how God is using them in their heart to help other hurting couples. Enjoy the Greenfield's story—it's incredible!

RESOURCES

International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP)

Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS)

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366 - Betrayal Triggers

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 9 Jul 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Today's episode addresses a listener's question—how to manage betrayal triggers. Most of us are aware of triggers for those struggling with addictive or compulsive sexual behavior. But are there such a thing as betrayal triggers? The answer is an emphatic YES! Ashley Jameson joins us to discuss what betrayal triggers are, how to identify them, how to bring healing to them, and what couples can do to help each other navigate triggers.

RESOURCES

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (WOMEN’S BETRAYAL RESOURCE)

RELAPSE PREVENTION PLAN (3 CIRCLES TOOL)

ASSOCIATION OF PARTNERS OF SEX ADDICTS TRAUMA SPECIALISTS

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365 - Brand New Stats On Porn In The Church

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 2 Jul 2024 07:00:00 +0000

We have a very SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT on today's episode! Pure Desire is partnering with one of the most influential research firms in the world to bring forth new statistics on the impact of pornography in the church. We're joined by Heather Kolb and Ashley Jameson (hosts of our newest show, Unfiltered) to discuss the origins of this research project, our hopes for this new data, some of the initial findings of the research, and how to get this information in your hands (including a launch event you won't want to miss)!

RESOURCES

Barna Launch Event (REGISTER NOW)

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364 - Repairing Relational Injury w/ Dr. Jake Porter

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 25 Jun 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Significant relational injury occurs at the moment of discovery. One spouse finally feels free because the truth of their addiction or infidelity is out in the open. The other partner feels buried with trauma and has to reinterpret every aspect of their relationship history. On today’s episode, we are joined by Dr. Jake Porter (licensed therapist and founder, president, and CEO of Daring Ventures). Dr. Jake helps us talk through the relational injury caused by sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. We discuss what both spouses need after relational injury and how to fully heal from it.

RESOURCES

Daring Ventures (Dr. Jake's Organization)

Dr. Jake Porter's YouTube Channel

Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS)

Pure Desire Disclosure Counseling

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363 - The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly Of Purity Culture w/ Katherine Gallagher

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 18 Jun 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Many of us who grew up in the church experienced purity culture—a significant emphasis on sexual purity, especially with young people. While purity culture had good motivations, it has caused its fair share of damage—shame, guilt, and trauma. On today’s episode, we are joined by Katherine Gallagher, the Executive Director of GoStrategic, an author and speaker on the topic of sexual purity. Katherine discusses the good, the bad, and the ugly of purity culture.

RESOURCES

GoStrategic (Katherine's organization)

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362 - Staying Healthy For The Summer

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Summer months bring so much fun and excitement. But for those who are on the recovery journey, summer brings its own set of challenges. Warm weather means less clothing. This means more opportunities for temptations and triggers. On today’s episode, we talk about why summer can be so challenging, what we can do to be prepared for this season, and what it looks like to stay healthy!

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361 - The Cyclone Of Addiction

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 4 Jun 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Addiction can be challenging to wrap our head around. What is addiction? How did this happen? Why me? Robert Vander Meer is on the podcast today to discuss the image and behavior of a cyclone and how this metaphor is helpful in understanding how and why addiction shows up in our life.

RESOURCES

Bob Newhart “Stop It” Video

Cyclone of Addiction (from Pillar Six, Lesson One of Seven Pillars of Freedom)

Pure Desire Groups

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360 - Edging In Recovery

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 28 May 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Matt Dobschuetz, host of Porn Free Radio and founder of Recovered Man, is back on the show today!

Today, we talk about edging—non-relapse behaviors that follow our addictive patterns. We talk about what qualifies as edging, how to become more aware of any edging behaviors, the importance of check-ins with our community or group, and how to address these behaviors when we see them.

RESOURCES

Seven Pillars Of Freedom

Unraveled

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359 - Helping Next Gen Navigate Healthy Relationships w/ Barb Winters

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 21 May 2024 09:30:00 +0000

Helping the next generation is not only about teaching what NOT TO DO. It also includes teaching them what TO DO.

On today’s episode, we’re joined by Barb Winters, founder of HopefulMom.net and author of Sexpectations.

Barb talks us through her experience in helping her children break free of pornography addiction and equipping them with the tools they need for healthy relationships. Barb speaks from her personal experience: as a parent not knowing where to start and now an expert in the area of equipping parents to help their kids.

RESOURCES

Sexpectations (Barb’s Book)

Barb’s Website

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358 - Becoming Authentically You (Women's Takeover)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 14 May 2024 07:00:00 +0000

It’s here—a NEW group resource for single women!

What does it look like to live sexually healthy as a single woman?

Today, authors Heather Kolb and Ashley Jameson join us to talk through our new resource for single women, Authentically You.

They talk through who is the target audience, what makes Authentically You unique, the differences between this new resource and other resources we have for women, and much more!

RESOURCES

Behind the Mask (Recovery Resource for Student Women)

Unraveled (Recovery Resource for Married Women)

Authentically You (Recovery Resource for Single/Unmarried Women)

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357 - Healthy Separation

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 7 May 2024 07:00:00 +0000

“Separation” is usually a swear word for church folk.

This is understandable when it’s done wrong. But separation can actually be a healthy tool used for the restoration of a marriage.

Today, we’re joined by a Pure Desire Clinician, Eileen Fagan, who defines a healthy or “therapeutic” separation and the benefits it can give a struggling couple. We talk through natural hesitations or fears with marital separation, when NOT to separate, and the importance of professional help and support in marital separations.

RESOURCES

Recovery Action Plan For Addicts

Safety Action Plan

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356 - Reconciling Addiction & Theology

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 30 Apr 2024 09:30:00 +0000

When Christians are faced with the word “addiction,” there can be a significant reaction against something we don’t see clearly in Scripture. The word “addiction” doesn’t naturally seem to fit into our theological framework.

Today, we’re joined by author and speaker, Ben Bennett, to give us a new framework for reconciling addiction and theology. We explore how Scripture speaks directly to addiction, how to integrate psychology and theology, and how the recovery and healing journey can enhance our faith in Jesus.

RESOURCES

Free To Thrive (Book)

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355 - Porn & Mental Health

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 23 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000

The term “mental health” can be fuzzy. Are we talking about anxiety? Depression? Something more? All of the above?

Ben Bennett joins us today to talk about the connection between viewing pornography and mental health issues. Ben speaks of porn’s role in his personal battle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations and how recovery impacts our mental health, our faith in Jesus, and our ability to follow Him.

RESOURCES

Two Roads (John Lynch)

Free To Thrive (Book)

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354 - Healthy Communication

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 16 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000

We all know communication is important. But what does healthy communication look like for a couple on the recovery and healing journey? Shari Chinchen, a Pure Desire Clinician, joins us today to discuss what makes communication healthy or unhealthy. We also discuss how to keep healthy communication a priority AND how to train our kids for healthy communication in their relationships.

RESOURCES

The Four Horsemen (Blog by Gottman Institute)

Keep your Love On (Danny Silk)

Family Values Exercise

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353 - Becoming A Compassionate Warrior

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 9 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Many men who’ve been through the Pure Desire recovery process have asked, “What’s after Seven Pillars of Freedom?” Well, today’s episode is all about answering this question. Clinician and speaker, Robert Vander Meer, joins us to talk about our new resource, The Compassionate Warrior (to which Robert contributed). We talk through what this resource is, how it helps men see their life and recovery through the lens of “story,” and how it helps create a lasting legacy of health.

RESOURCES

Hero With A Thousand Faces (Joseph Campbell)

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352 - Stories From The Church: Faith Chapel

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 2 Apr 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Today, we get to hear from Robert Nelson and Annie Burt (staff members at Faith Chapel in Billings, Montana). Robert and Annie talk us through their journey of implementing Pure Desire groups and resources at Faith Chapel. We talk through initial hurdles, challenges they’ve faced, the fruit they’re seeing from their efforts, and lots in between.

RESOURCES

Unraveled

Conquer Series (Soul Refiner)

Immanuel Garraway (Church Relations Specialist)

Fearless Series

Free Tools

Have PD Come Speak

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351 - FAQ #17

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 26 Mar 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Today’s episode is one of our favorites! We have another Frequently Asked Questions episode where you, the listener, has sent in topical questions for us to discuss. We are joined by Traci Wright, one of our beloved clinicians, to talk about idolizing recovery, anniversaries of trauma, disclosure in dating and engagement, and more.

RESOURCES

FREE 15 Minute Counseling Consultation

Cliff & Joyce Penner

IITAP

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350 - Slippery Slopes

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 19 Mar 2024 10:00:00 +0000

Though true healing and freedom from sexual addiction and brokenness is possible, it doesn’t mean the journey will be easy. The world we live in is still hyper-sexualized and full of things that can pull us away from health. On today’s episode, we talk about slippery slopes—areas or aspects of our lives that can be problematic in our sexual health. And there may be some that surprise you! We talk about what can be a slippery slope, how to be mindful of them, and what to do to ensure we don’t slide back down the hill of unhealth.

RESOURCES

Three Circles

Thoughts/Feelings Log

Crash Site Analysis

Tech Action Plan

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349 - PTSD & Betrayal

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 12 Mar 2024 07:00:00 +0000

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is often associated with major trauma—wartime experiences, rape, and abuse. Studies increasingly show that PTSD is also experienced by betrayed partners. Rather than ignore or minimize it, let’s do something about it.

RESOURCES

Dr. Steffens Research

Stress Index

The Body Keeps The Score

Pure Desire Groups

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348 - 7 Lies That Will Ruin Your Life w/ Joshua Broome

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 5 Mar 2024 08:00:00 +0000

For those who regularly listen to the show, we have a return guest. This guy has shared his story about the journey from porn star to a pastor.

Today, we’re excited to have Joshua Broome back on the show to talk about his new book, 7 Lies That Will Ruin Your Life. We talk through all seven lies, identifying how they impact sexual brokenness and disrupt our healing. We also discuss some initial steps we can take to combat these lies and reclaim God’s truth in our lives.

RESOURCES

Share The King (Joshua’s Ministry)

7 Lies That Will Ruin Your Life (Joshua’s book)

Joshua’s TikTok

Joshua’s Twitter

Joshua’s Instagram

Joshua’s Website

Killing Kryptonite (John Bevere’s book)

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347 - Living UnDEFILED w/ Matt McCaulley & Kevin Whisman

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 27 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000

We know sex trafficking exists in our world and is a growing problem. But it’s not something that’s talked about in many faith communities.

On today’s episode, we’re going to talk about it! We’re thrilled to have Matt McCaulley and Kevin Whisman on the show: two guys who have spent the last few years writing, directing, and producing a full-length feature film called unDEFILED. We’ll talk about Pure Desire’s involvement in creating a follow-up study to the film and how sex trafficking is connected to sexual brokenness.

RESOURCES

Light of Life Films (LOLF)

UnDefiled Movie

Living UnDEFILED (Follow Up Study)

LOLF socials

https://www.facebook.com/lightoflifefilms

https://www.facebook.com/undefiledmovie

UnDEFILED trailer (YouTube)

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346 - Myth Busters: Marriage Will Fix It

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 20 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000

“Just wait until I get married, then it will all get better.” These words have either been said or thought by many of us in the church. We assume being married and having sex with our spouse will rid us of our sexual brokenness or compulsive behaviors. Unfortunately, this is a myth.

On today’s episode, our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us to talk through why this myth exists, the damage it creates, and how to work against it.

RESOURCES

Unraveled

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345 - In Sickness & In Health

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 13 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000

When addiction, brokenness, and betrayal enter a marriage, it can significantly impact a couple’s sexual relationship. Unfortunately, sexual brokenness and betrayal are not the only things that can hijack a couple’s sex life.

On today’s episode, we’re joined by Brent and Nicole Breining, who are part of the Pure Desire family. Brent, a clinician for Pure Desire, and his wife, Nicole, share how some major life events limited their sexual relationship. They talk through how to stay committed and connected, specifically in the area of sex, in sickness and in health.

RESOURCES

Full Disclosure Process (product)

PD Counseling

Eight Dates (John Gottman book)

Genesis Process

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344 - The Order Of Intimacy w/ Phil & Priscilla Fretwell

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 6 Feb 2024 08:00:00 +0000

For many of us who are on the recovery and healing journey, understanding the full scope of intimacy can be confusing. If you’re in this camp, you won’t want to miss this episode! We are excited to have Phil and Priscilla Fretwell on the show today! They are co-founders of Savage Marriage Ministries and authors of Savage Marriage: Triumph Over Betrayal and Sexual Addiction —their story of addiction, betrayal, and freedom that they use to help others find healing. They join us to talk through the order of intimacy, what intimacy is, the different types of intimacy, and how it transformed their lives and relationships.

RESOURCES

Savage Marriage Ministries

Savage Marriage Book

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343 - Preventing Relapse (Principles of Recovery)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 30 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000

Relapse is returning to the place we promised God, ourselves, or others we wouldn’t go back to. So preventing relapse is a worthy goal. But can relapse be prevented proactively and practically? The answer: yes. On today’s episode, Mike Maxwell leverages his many years in recovery and leading Pure Desire groups to help us learn tools and techniques for preventing relapse.

RESOURCES

Three Circles (Tool)

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342 - Honesty In Community (Principles of Recovery)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 23 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000

It’s difficult to understate the importance of community in recovery. But honesty in community isn’t easy. It requires intention and a willingness to be fully known. Dishonesty leads to shame and isolation. Honesty leads to freedom. Brent Breining, a Pure Desire Clinician, joins us today to discuss how to break secrecy, how to be honest in daily life, and why this actually matters.

RESOURCES

Recovery Resource For Women

Recovery Resource For Men

Resource for Betrayed Spouses (Women)

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341 - Healing Our Trauma (Principles of Recovery)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000

Unprocessed trauma has a way of making itself known. Triggers reveal areas in our life where something isn’t quite right. If we’re not willing to address these areas, they can become a major obstacle in our relationships, workplace advancement, and breaking free from addiction. Heather Kolb is on the podcast today to talk about how the brain processes trauma and how we heal from trauma.

RESOURCES

Altogether You (Book)

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340 - Addressing Our Shame (Principles of Recovery)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 9 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000

Shame is often used as a motivator. But shame only motivates us to do one thing: hide. Shame causes us to hide because we start to believe the lie that our mistakes and missteps are proof that we are disqualified to receive love and acceptance. But Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection are evidence of the immense worth and value of humans. Rodney Wright joins us today to talk about why shame perpetuates the cycle of addiction and how we can break free from its grip.

RESOURCES

Recovery Resource For Women

Recovery Resource For Men

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339 - Breaking Free From Isolation (Principles of Recovery)

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 2 Jan 2024 08:00:00 +0000

Solitude is an intentional time alone for renewal and centering yourself on God. Isolation is a pattern of disengaging from or intentionally not engaging in relationship with others. In this episode, we identify what isolation is, how it’s different from solitude, and why isolation is like gasoline on the addictive fire.

RESOURCES

Recovery Resource For Women

Recovery Resource For Men

Three Circles

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338 - 'Tis The Season: Attainable Goals

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000

When we get toward the end of the year, setting new goals perpetually comes up. Why is this? And how can we create goals we’ll actually stick to? Our clinical director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us on today’s episode to talk about yearly goals, how to set them, how to maintain them, and why they matter on the recovery and healing journey.

RESOURCES

Unraveled Kit (Resource for women who struggle)

Find An Online Group

Start Counseling

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337 - ‘Tis The Season: Proactive Self-Care

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000

Self-care isn’t selfish. Yet, establishing rhythms of self-care can impact the people around us both positively and negatively. If we want to practice proactive self-care, it will require an intentional, thought-out plan that is communicated to our loved ones. Kelly Johnston, our Online Women's Groups Coordinator, is on the podcast today discussing how to maintain self-care, how to find things that qualify as self-care, and why all of this is especially important during the holiday season.

RESOURCES

Kelly Johnston’s Email

Kelly’s Blog On Shalom

Three Circles Tool

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336 - ‘Tis The Season: Healthy Conflict

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 12 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000

What is it about the holiday season that makes conflict more likely? It seems inevitable. So how can we engage in conflict in a healthy way? In today’s episode, Ashley Jameson helps unpack strategies for healthy conflict (even if you’re conflict-avoidant), how to help our loved ones engage in healthy conflict, and why this matters to our recovery.

RESOURCES

Necessary Endings (Dr. Henry Cloud’s Book)

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335 - ‘Tis The Season: Being Assertive

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 5 Dec 2023 08:00:00 +0000

The holidays are packed with clashing expectations in relationships. Assertiveness is one of the tools we can use to navigate these challenging situations. Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive—it simply means clearly communicating your needs to others. In this episode, Heather Kolb joins us to discuss how to be assertive, the benefits of being assertive about your needs, and how to navigate the moments when someone might respond negatively.

RESOURCES

Episode 154 – Recovery Tools: Double Bind (Pure Desire Podcast)

RESOURCES

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331 - Happily Even After w/ Dannah Gresh

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 7 Nov 2023 08:00:00 +0000

When discovery happens in a marriage, a bomb goes off. Life is shattered into a million pieces and you question, “Is redemption even possible?” Author of the new book, Happily Even After, Dannah Gresh, joins us on the podcast today. She answers that question emphatically, “YES!” Redemption is not only possible, but probable when God is central in a marriage AND both partners are getting the proper help they need.

RESOURCES

Happily Even After (Book)

Dannah’s Books

Dannah’s Website

Juli Slattery’s Website

Rethinking Sexuality Podcast Series

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330 - Stories From The Church: Eastview Christian Church

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 31 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Churches new to Pure Desire and interested in launching groups often face hurdles and feel intimidated. Yet, there are hundreds of churches helping men and women find hope and healing through Pure Desire groups. In this episode, Eastview Church leadership shares the challenges they still face, how many groups they’re currently running (Note: it’s lower than you’d expect for a large church), and why they’ve seen the success they’ve seen.

RESOURCES

Brain, Heart, World (FTND)

Living Free (Young Adult Recovery Resource)

Soul Refiner (Formerly Known As Conquer Series)

Find a CSAT/PSAP (IITAP Website)

Team 58

How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex

Marriage, Relationships, & Sex w/ Les Parrott (Pure Desire Podcast)

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329 - Discipling Our Kids Sexually w/ Kristen A. Jenson

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 24 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

We teach our kids how to clean their teeth and eat food. Yet when it comes to teaching healthy sexuality, we often feel lost. Author Kristen Jenson has worked to help parents teach their kids about the dangers of pornography, how to navigate these tough conversations as they come up, and how kids can “forget” things they’ve seen.

RESOURCES

Good Pictures Bad Pictures (book)

Brain Defense: Digital Safety (course)

Kristen’s Website

Kristen’s Books

How To Talk To Your Kids About Pornography (Free Download)

Healthy Sex vs. Porn Sex: 7 Crucial Comparisons to Teach Your Kid

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

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328 - How To Find A Counselor

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 17 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Some people have a difficult time reconciling therapy with their faith. They see it as personal weakness at best and distance from God at worst. But Christians who become healthy through counseling are a gift to the world! Rodney Wright is on the podcast today sharing about how he found a counselor, how the experience impacted his faith and relationships, and gives practical advice for anyone considering entering into therapy.

RESOURCES

Out of the Shadows (Patrick Carnes Book)

Pure Desire Free Consultation - 503-489-0230

Find A Local PSAP/CSAT (IITAP Website)

Find An APSATS Trained Specialist

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327 - Recovery & Healing Milestones

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 10 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Milestones are really important to those recovering from addiction or healing from betrayal trauma. But Milestones aren’t always helpful or beneficial. In this episode, Ashley Jameson joins us to discuss how to identify and measure milestones, which milestones might be particularly dangerous, and which milestones fly under the radar but should really be celebrated.

RESOURCES

Find A Pure Desire Group

FANOS Check-in

Bicycle Video (YouTube)

Pure Desire Challenge Coin

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326 - Telling Your Story Effectively

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 3 Oct 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Everyone has a story that is uniquely theirs. When we hear someone’s story we begin to understand how pain and trauma entered their life. We can connect the dots in their story from pain to healing and realize–we’re not alone. If they can heal, so can I. John Begeman joins us today to discuss a three category approach to sharing our story, when and how to share, and why it even matters.

RESOURCES

Unwanted (Jay Stringer’s Book)

Pure Desire Podcasts/Blogs On Sharing Your Story:

PODCAST: Episode 316 - The Power of Sharing Our Story w/ Ashley Sears
PODCAST: Episode 121 - 5 Tips On Sharing Your Story
BLOG: Sharing Your Story

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325 - The 5 Brain Bugs

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 26 Sep 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Relapse can happen anytime. Whether you’re in year two or 25 of recovery. In The Compassionate Warrior, this is attributed to 5 Brain Bugs. Rich Moore joins us today to discuss what these 5 Brain Bugs are, how to identify them, and what it looks like to address them.

RESOURCES

1 Peter 5:8

Seven Pillars of Freedom (Prerequisite to The Compassionate Warrior)

The Soul of Shame w/ Curt Thompson (Episode 163 of Pure Desire Podcast)

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324 - Help! I’m In A Sexless Marriage.

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 07:00:00 +0000

When your spouse doesn’t want to have sex, you likely feel alone and lost. When you’re the one who is uninterested in sex, you may not even understand why. However, in a healthy marriage where addiction and betrayal aren’t present, sex is a beautiful gift. This episode with Heather Kolb gets into the challenging questions about how, when, and why people may be living in a sexless marriage and what they can do about it.

RESOURCES

FANOS Check-in

Emotion Wheel

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323 - Myth Busters: I Can Do This Alone

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 12 Sep 2023 07:00:00 +0000

It’s common for people to think they can recover from their addiction or stop their behaviors on their own. Unfortunately, that just isn’t how recovery works. Community is a necessity for lasting healing and freedom. Harry Flanagan joins us today to debunk this myth and provide a path for those struggling with this harmful belief.

RESOURCES

Online Groups

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322 - Recovery & Healing From The Heart

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 5 Sep 2023 07:00:00 +0000

In this episode, we talked about the theme of the Pure Desire Summit 2023, From The Heart. Why we chose this theme, its importance to the recovery journey, why people should attend, and more. We hope you’re planning to join us online or in-person for our biggest event of the year!

RESOURCES

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321 - The Toxic War On Masculinity w/ Nancy Pearcey

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 29 Aug 2023 07:00:00 +0000

If you ask 1000 people what it means to be masculine, you’ll likely get 1000 different answers. Masculinity is often associated with strength, anger, and dominance. But that’s not at all how Jesus modeled masculinity. Nancy Pearcey is back with us to discuss differences between toxic masculinity and biblical masculinity and compare James Bond with Jesus.

RESOURCES

The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes (Nancy’s Book)

Nancy’s Website

Love Thy Body (Nancy’s Book)

When to Walk Away (Book)

Fool Proofing Your Life (Book)

Boundaries (Book)

When Good Men Behave Badly (Book)

Seven Pillars of Freedom Kit (Men’s Addiction Recovery)

The Compassionate Warrior Kit (Seven Pillars Follow-up Resource)

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320 - Growing Our Emotional Intelligence

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Emotional awareness and emotional intelligence go hand-in-hand. But emotional intelligence can feel elusive. In today’s episode, Heather Kolb helps us understand how to grow in emotional intelligence and its importance in the recovery process.

RESOURCES

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319 - Talking With Your Young Kids About Sex

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Many parents have a genuine desire to teach their kids how to navigate their sexuality in a way that is more helpful than they were taught. But most parents don’t even know where or how to begin talking with their kids about sex. This episode with Rodney and Traci Wright is packed with practical examples and advice, resources to protect kids and grow personally, and the encouragement parents have been looking for.

RESOURCES

How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex

Dr. Clifford & Joyce Penner (Website)

Defend Young Minds (Website)

Space At The Table (Book)

Good Pictures Bad Pictures (Book)

Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. (Book)

Learn About Sex Series (Book Series)

Culture Reframed (Website)

Protect Young Eyes (Website)

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318 - Stories Of Healing: Josh & Shawna Putnam

Tue, 8 Aug 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Josh was no stranger to the limelight as a worship leader and musician. But being caught with pornography was a type of exposure that wasn't invited. Yet it was the beginning of a journey toward true healing and freedom that ultimately impacted his entire family. Josh and Shawna Putnam share their story of healing, what they learned along the way, and the new ministry that it is fueling for both of them.

RESOURCES

Josh’s Music (Spotify)

Recovery Tools: FASTER Scale (Pure Desire Podcast)

Tools For Betrayal: FASTER Scale (Pure Desire Podcast)

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317 - Reparenting Our Inner Child with Dr. Eddie Capparucci

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 1 Aug 2023 07:00:00 +0000

The concept of reparenting your inner child strikes people in different ways. Some are skeptical and others are raving fans of the approach. On today’s podcast, we’re joined by Dr. Eddie Capparucci to discuss his work in this area. We talk about the importance of reparenting your inner child, the relationship of faith and psychology in this area, and more.

RESOURCES

Why Men Struggle To Love (Eddie’s Book)

Going Deeper

Eddie’s website

Seven Pillars of Freedom (Men’s Addiction Resource)

Unraveled (Women’s Addiction Resource)

Healing Your Inner Child w/ Drew Boa (Pure Desire Podcast)

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316 - The Power Of Sharing Our Story w/ Ashley Sears

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Our stories have incredible power. But why is that? What is it about sharing our stories that is so impactful? On today’s episode, we are joined by the founder of Stories Unveiled, Ashley Sears. Ashley helps us understand why stories are so powerful, how to find the courage to share them, and the healing stories carry for us all.

RESOURCES

Stories Unveiled Conference (Ashley's Conference)

Stories Unveiled Facebook Page

Stories Unveiled Instagram Page

Stories Of Healing: Asher & Ashley Sears (Podcast)

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315 - Marriage, Relationships, & Sex w/ Dr. Les Parrott

podcast@puredesire.org (Trevor Winsor, Nick Stumbo, Les Parrott) — Tue, 18 Jul 2023 10:00:00 +0000

Relationships are at the center of each part of our lives. And few things impact our relationships like unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In this episode, best-selling author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Les Parrott joins us with practical tools to create fulfillment in our relationships. We talk about trends in dating and marriage relationships, when and how to share our history with our partner, and how to improve communication around sex and everything else.

RESOURCES

Symbis Assessment (Marriage Resource)

Loveology.com

BetterLove.com

Crazy About Sex (Les' Book)

5 Love Languages (Gary Thomas' Book)

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314 - FAQ #16: Church

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Churches and volunteers passionate about Pure Desire Groups face a number of challenges when starting out. Today, Rodney Wright joins us to share best practices from his experience launching and maintaining a thriving Pure Desire Groups ministry. From preaching tips to managing group members from other churches to navigating a leadership team that isn’t open to a “recovery ministry,” this episode has it all.

RESOURCES

Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist—CSAT (IITAP Certification)

Pastoral Sexual Addiction Professional—PSAP (IITAP Certification)

Pure Desire Summit (Event)

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313 - From Co-Addict Model To A Partner-Sensitive Approach

Tue, 4 Jul 2023 07:00:00 +0000

As new research emerges and becomes mainstream, it’s important that our approach remains current. This is the heart behind the recent update to our resource for women, Betrayal & Beyond. In this episode, Heather Kolb and Ashley Jameson share the “why” behind the update, they highlight the major changes (and what stayed the same), and who should go through this updated resource.

RESOURCES

Betrayal & Beyond Kit—including NEW video companion (Women's Betrayal Resource)

Betrayal & Beyond Online Groups

APSATS A Partner Sensitive Approach To Healing From Betrayal w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens (Podcast)

Women's Takeover #1: Healing From Betrayal w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens

Connected (Marriage Resource)

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312 - Addressing Porn In The Church w/ Sam Black

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Pornography undermines every ministry in a local church. Sam Black, author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography And How To Fix It (GIVEAWAY IN SHOW NOTES), joins us to take an honest look at the harmful effects of ignoring unwanted sexual behavior in the church. This episode is packed with practical ways that churches can begin to meet the real need that exists within their congregations.

RESOURCES

FREE COPY of The Healing Church (First 50 get book for free)

FREE Intro/Chapter 1 of The Healing Church

Covenant Eyes (Accountability Software)

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311 - Rewiring Our Brains Sexually

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 07:00:00 +0000

Unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma have a profound impact on the brain. But the brain is amazing and can be rewired! Heather Kolb joins us for this episode with tips and tools for rewiring our brain sexually. We discuss why rewiring our brain after sexual addiction is uniquely challenging, how long we should expect this process to take, and who else should be involved.

RESOURCES

Seven Pillars of Freedom (Resource For Struggling Men)

Groups

Unraveled (Resource For Struggling Women)

Betrayal & Beyond (Resource For Betrayed Women)

Great Sex Rescue (Sheila Wray Gregoire’s Book)

Plucky (Accountability Software)

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310 - Stories From The Church: Petra Church

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 10:00:00 +0000

Launching Pure Desire groups at your church can feel intimidating at first. In this episode, we start a new series: Stories From The Church. Our first episode in this new series, we spoke with the team responsible for successfully implementing groups at Petra Church in Pennsylvania. We learned how they overcame some of the most common hurdles churches face, how they train and recruit leaders, and reflect on some of the success they’ve enjoyed over the years.

RESOURCES

Pure Desire Summit Conquer Series

Conquer Series

Pure Desire Clinical Program

Living Free

Unraveled (Resource For Struggling Women)

Groups

How to Talk With Your Kids About Sex

Betrayal & Beyond (Resource For Betrayed Women)

Fearless Series (James Reeves)

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309 - Confidentiality & Mandatory Reporting

Tue, 6 Jun 2023 10:00:00 +0000

Confidentiality is critically important in the group setting. So is protecting victims and vulnerable populations through mandatory reporting. On today’s episode, we talk with Rich Moore about how to strike a balance between confidentiality and mandated reporting, how to proactively protect the group, and the process of reporting if and when necessary. Finally, we explored the positive outcomes that mandated reporting can have on the people involved.

SHOW NOTES

Child Welfare Information Gateway

Church Law & Tax

Memo of understanding

Stories of Healing: Rich Moore (Podcast Episode)

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308 - From Porn Star To Pastor w/ Joshua Broome

Tue, 30 May 2023 13:00:00 +0000

The path from an award-winning porn star to a pastor just doesn’t make sense. But that’s the path God paved for our guest today, Joshua Broome (cofounder of Share the King). We talk to Joshua about how he got into performing porn, how God rescued him, and God is using him as a speaker, pastor, influencer, and podcast host to help people follow Jesus and live with sexual integrity.

RESOURCES

Share The King (Joshua’s Ministry)

Pure Desire Online Groups (for men and women struggling or betrayed)

Seven Pillars of Freedom (for struggling men)

Unraveled (for struggling women)

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307 - Betrayal As A Pastor's Wife w/ Michelle Stumbo

Tue, 23 May 2023 13:00:00 +0000

The devastation created through betrayal trauma can turn a partner’s world upside down and impact them in a way they never imagined. But what does healing from betrayal trauma look like if your spouse is in a public position—doctor, teacher, police officer, judge, or pastor? Today, we’re joined by Michelle Stumbo (married to Nick Stumbo, the Executive Director for Pure Desire). We talk through what healing from betrayal looks like when your husband is the pastor. What tools and boundaries are necessary, how it impacts kids and healing as a family, the obstacles you may face, and even how the group experience might look a little different.

RESOURCES

GET STARTED

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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306 - Racism & Sexual Brokenness w/ Immanuel & Michelle Garraway

Tue, 16 May 2023 13:00:00 +0000

The more we seek to understand the factors that impact sexual brokenness, the more we recognize how racism can be a contributing factor. But how does racism impact sexual brokenness? On today’s episode, we’re joined by Immanuel and Michelle Garraway, who share their experiences with racism and the role it played in their recovery and healing journey. We talk through how family of origin and harmful intergenerational messages can become a catalyst for sexual brokenness, and how owning your story and the group experience can become a safe place for people of color.

RESOURCES

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 13:00:00 +0000

In order for true restoration to take place in a marriage, both spouses must heal (especially the betrayed partner). While pursuing their recovery from addiction or unwanted sexual behavior, men often ask, "How can I help my spouse heal?" On today's episode, we are joined by the woman who literally wrote the book on this question. Carol Juergensen Sheets, AKA "Carol the Coach," is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and author who wrote Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook For Sex Addicts To Help Their Partners Heal and Help Them Heal: Teaching You Both How to Heal Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal. We talk about how to help our betrayed spouse heal, the importance of empathy, and how to have effective communication throughout the healing journey.

RESOURCES

Help Her Heal (Carol's book)

Help Them Heal (Carol's book)

Unleashing Your Power (Carol's Book)

Sex Help With Carol The Coach (Carol's Website)

Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (IITAP Certification)

Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (IITAP Certification)

APSATS (Betrayal Organization)

The California Center for Healing (Bill & Ginger Bercaw's Organization)

The Intimacy Pyramid (Dan Drake's Organization)

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302 - Developing Personal Promises

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 13:00:00 +0000

One of the most meaningful tools we use on the recovery journey is called a personal promise (once called a prophetic promise). This tool helps us connect a truth we see from God's word and connect it with an experience in our life. Fusing the right and left brain together is powerful. On today's episode, we discuss how we use these promises on our recovery journey, what makes them effective, how to create your own, and more.

RESOURCES

GET STARTED

Summit 2026!: Register Now

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

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301 - The 4 People You Need In Recovery

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 10:00:00 +0000

Recovery is not a journey we do alone. Though the work is specific to us, we need a safe, trusted community around us to ensure the work of recovery sticks! On today’s episode, we’re joined by our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen, to discuss the four different roles/people we need with us on the recovery journey. We identify these four people/roles and talk through why they are so necessary in our recovery journey.

RESOURCES

Join A Pure Desire Group

Two Roads (John Lynch's Trueface Message)

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300 - We Made It To 300!

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 4 Apr 2023 13:00:00 +0000

The Pure Desire Podcast has officially entered the 300s! To celebrate, we've got some special stuff for you. A role reversal, a massive giveaway, the future of the show, our favorites from the last 100 episodes, and ministry updates.

Join us for this milestone! 300 down. At least another 300 to go!

RESOURCES

Enter $300 Giveaway

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299 - How Recovery Changes After Year One w/ Ben Bennett

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 13:00:00 +0000

Oftentimes, the recovery journey begins with crisis. Pornography or unwanted sexual behavior negatively impacts our lives and relationships and we know change is needed. But as the recovery journey progresses, crisis can diminish. When that happens, motivation for the journey changes. Today, we’re joined by Ben Bennett (leader of Resolution Movement and author of Free To Thrive and Living Free) to talk through how recovery changes after the first year. We talk through the shift from a sobriety mindset to overall health, how motivation changes, the importance of self-care, and tools necessary for long-term sexual health.

RESOURCES

Resolution Movement (Ben's organization)

Free To Thrive (Ben's book)

Living Free (Recovery Resource for College-Aged Men)

Top Gun (Recovery Resource for Teenage Boys)

Genesis Process (Recovery Resource for Men/Women)

Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr. (Parenting book)

Unwanted (Jay Stringer's book)

FASTER Scale (Emotional Awareness & Relapse Prevention Tool)

Three Circles (Relapse Prevention Tool)

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298 - Image Management w/ Nate Larkin

Tue, 21 Mar 2023 13:00:00 +0000

A significant challenge men and women face in recovery is _image management_—the attempt to control how they are perceived by others. This can be even more challenging for those in the church. Today, we're joined by Nate Larkin (founder of Samson Society and author of Samson and the Pirate Monks) to discuss what motivates this desire for image management. We talk about how to identify when we slip into image management, the pitfalls of it, and ways we can avoid or step out of image management.

Resources

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297 - Moral Failings In The Church w/ Randy Alcorn

Tue, 14 Mar 2023 13:00:00 +0000

It seems inevitable that another high-profile Christian leader or pastor will have a public moral failing. Many of these moral failings are in the area of sexual brokenness. Today, we're joined by Randy Alcorn, the best-selling author of Heaven, Happiness, and The Purity Principle, to discuss why these failings continue to happen. Randy helps us understand what contributes to the fall of high-profile leaders, how churches can recover and heal, and how to prevent this in the future of the church.

RESOURCES

Eternal Perspective Ministries (Randy's organization)

Randy Alcorn's Books

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296 - Love Thy Body w/ Nancy Pearcey

Tue, 7 Mar 2023 14:00:00 +0000

A common assumption in the church is, "soul good, body bad." But on today's episode, our guest, Professor Nancy Pearcey, flips this idea on its head. Nancy shares perspectives from her book, Love Thy Body, where she addresses beliefs we commonly adopt in the church and identifies how damaging they can be—specifically, beliefs about our bodies and our sexuality. Nancy helps us understand how a high view of our body and sexuality can help us flourish inside God's plan for our life.

RESOURCES

Love Thy Body (Nancy's book)

The Toxic War On Masculinity (Nancy's book)

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295 - How Counseling Helps Marriages

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 14:00:00 +0000

Counseling is incredibly beneficial, especially when it comes to the recovery and healing journey in marriage. On today's episode, we talk to Bill & Eileen Fagan (two Pure Desire Clinicians) about how counseling helps marriages. We discuss why counseling can be so beneficial, the benefits of couples being counseled together, and how counseling has and continues to save marriages.

RESOURCES

When To Refer To Counseling (Free Tool)

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294 - FAQ #15 - Marriage

Tue, 21 Feb 2023 14:00:00 +0000

On today's Frequently Asked Questions episode, we're tackling questions about marriage. We talk about reintegrating sex after disclosure, how to talk about and potentially change boundaries, attraction and loss of it, the 5-year relapse, helping our spouse through a trigger, and much more.

RESOURCES

The Great Sex Rescue (Sheila Wray Gregoire's book)

Good Sex, Good Marriage? (Ashley's blog)

Manage Conflict: The Aftermath of a Fight (Gottman Institute blog)

Good Girls Guide To Great Sex (Sheila Wray Gregoire's book)

Good Guys Guide To Great Sex (Sheila Wray & Keith Gregoire's book)

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293 - 5 Habits For Healthy Marriages

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 14:00:00 +0000

None of us sets out to have an unhealthy marriage. We will never arrive at a healthy marriage, but we can be constantly headed in the direction of health. So, what can we do to ensure our relationship moving closer to health? On today's Valentine's Day episode, we share five habits for healthy marriages. We identify how scheduling time together, sharing our emotions, planning our week, pursuing intimacy (of all kinds), and finding shared passions, can move our marriages in the direction of health.

RESOURCES

Connected (Marriage Resource)

Experiencing God (Henry Blackaby's Book)

Realistic Resolutions (Podcast Episode)

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292 - Myth Busters: High Frequency = Sexual Health

Tue, 7 Feb 2023 14:00:00 +0000

Whether it's through our upbringing, social media, or our culture, there is a belief that sexual health in a marriage means LOTS of sex. On today's episode, we identify this belief as a myth. We discuss why we believe this myth and how damaging it is to marriages. We also discuss how a comparison mindset impacts our relationships, how couples can find a healthy frequency of sexual intimacy, and the definition of sexual health in a marriage.

RESOURCES

Cliff & Joyce Penner Books (Resources on Healthy Sex)

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291- Breaking Isolation w/ Chandler Rogers

Tue, 31 Jan 2023 14:00:00 +0000

Isolation is a common byproduct of unwanted sexual behavior or pornography addiction. As we continue acting out, shame builds and leads us deeper into isolation. On today's episode, we talk to Chandler Rogers, the Co-Founder and CEO of Relay (an app designed to help people break out of isolation). We discuss with Chandler why we isolate, why isolation is so damaging in recovery, what signs indicate we're beginning to isolate, and how to break out of isolation and live vulnerably with our community. Chandler also shares a bit of his story and how Relay is helping people find healing and freedom from unwanted behaviors.

RESOURCES

Download Relay App (Google Play)

Relay (Website)

Download Relay App (iTunes)

Relay on Instagram

Find A Pure Desire Group

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290 - Pure Desire Foundations: Family Systems Model

Tue, 24 Jan 2023 14:00:00 +0000

Pure Desire’s understanding of healing and freedom is built on a family systems model. Without this model, making sense of our story and our healing journey is impossible. This is the fourth and final foundation of Pure Desire’s approach to healing and freedom. In this final Foundations episode, we explain why a family systems model is so effective in helping people take back their lives from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. We discuss how our family of origin shapes our unwanted patterns, why healing for the entire marriage/family is essential for true restoration, and more.

RESOURCES

Helping Her Heal (Carol Sheets' Book)

Aftershock (Joann Condie's Book)

The Body Keeps The Score (Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's Book)

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289 - Pure Desire Foundations: Groups Approach

Tue, 17 Jan 2023 14:00:00 +0000

Pure Desire groups are at the center of our to approach to healing and freedom. Groups are the primary place of recovery and healing. This is the third of four foundational aspects of our ministry. Everything we do as a ministry funnels into groups for men and women taking back their lives from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In week 3 of our 4-week Foundations series, we discuss our groups approach to healing. We unpack why the group context is so important for true healing and freedom, how Pure Desire groups differ from traditional “accountability groups,” and much more.

RESOURCES

Stories of Healing: Rich Moore (Podcast)

Find a Pure Desire Group

Online Groups

Pure Desire (Dr. Ted Roberts' Book)

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288 - Pure Desire Foundations: Clinically Informed

Tue, 10 Jan 2023 14:00:00 +0000

Pure Desire's approach to healing and freedom is clinically informed. This is the second of four foundational aspects to our ministry. In all of our materials and offerings, we use brain science and therapeutic tools to help men and women take back their lives from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In week 2 of our 4-week Foundations series, we unpack what being clinically informed means. We discuss how a biblical and clinical approach works together, why research and neuroscience are so important in understanding recovery and healing, how we implement clinical tools and exercises in our materials, and more.

RESOURCES

GET STARTED

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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287 - Pure Desire Foundations: Biblically Based

Tue, 3 Jan 2023 14:00:00 +0000

Pure Desire is built on four foundational beliefs. The first (and most important) is Pure Desire is biblically based in all we do. Our entire approach to healing and freedom from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma is rooted in Scripture. In week 1 of our 4-week Foundations series, we explore what it means that Pure Desire is biblically based. We address the common pushback we get of not being "biblical enough," identify where the Bible discusses addictive patterns, how Scripture informs our approach to healing trauma, and much more.

RESOURCES

Genesis Process (Michael Dye's Recovery Resource)

Fingerprint of God (Hugh Ross)

Online Groups

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286 - Health For The Holidays: Realistic Resolutions

Tue, 27 Dec 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Without fail, during the week between Christmas and New Year’s, resolutions for change are made. But statistically, these New Year’s resolutions often fail by the time we get one month in. Why is this? In the fourth and final week of our Health For The Holidays series, we talk about making realistic resolutions. We discuss why we make these resolutions to change each year, why they can be so difficult to stick with, what makes them successful, and how to make resolutions we can actually accomplish.

RESOURCES

Commitment To Change (Tool)

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285 - Health For The Holidays: Coping Skills

Tue, 20 Dec 2022 14:00:00 +0000

For those of us in the recovery or healing journey, the term “coping skills” carries a negative connotation. It’s negative coping skills that put us on this journey in the first place. But what if we need coping skills in order to stay healthy during the holiday season? In week three of our Health For The Holidays series, we decipher between healthy and unhealthy coping skills, how to know we’re coping too much, how to communicate our coping skills with others, and what coping skills we’re using to stay healthy this holiday season.

RESOURCES

Exchanging Anxiety For Gratitude (Blog)

Escape Plan

The Heart Of Gratitude (Blog)

The True Power Of Gratitude (Blog)

Power Of Gratitude (Podcast)

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284 - Health For The Holidays: Managing Emotions

Tue, 13 Dec 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Each year, around mid-November, we start hearing Christmas music. One sentiment we hear over and over is how the holidays are the “most wonderful time of the year.” However many of us experience the “most emotional time of the year.” Why is the most wonderful time of the year happen to be the most emotional? In week two of our Health For The Holidays series, we talk through why this season is so emotional. We discuss how to manage emotions effectively, how to become more emotionally aware, and how to be emotionally healthy when around others who are not.

RESOURCES

3 Circles (Relapse Prevention Tool)

Feelings Wheel (Free Tool)

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283 - Health For The Holidays: Navigating Family

Tue, 6 Dec 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Staying healthy during the holidays can be challenging. Especially when it comes to navigating family. Being around our family of origin, slipping back into old roles, and working to meet expectations—all difficulties during the holiday season. In week one of our Health For The Holidays series, we talk through why being around family is so challenging during the holidays, why boundaries are important, and how we’re planning to navigate family during this time of year.

RESOURCES

3 Circles Tool (Relapse Prevention Tool)

Home Stress Test (The American Institute of Stress)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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282 - Recognizing & Changing Our Digital Patterns w/ Jason Mathew

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 14:00:00 +0000

If we ever want to live in sexual health, we must know our patterns. This isn't just our patterns of fantasy or sexually acting out. This extends to understanding our digital patterns—how we use technology in unhealthy ways. Today, we are joined by Jason Mathew, founder of LeadMeNot, a digital wellness company. Jason shares his story of sexual brokenness and how recognizing and changing his digital patterns helped him find freedom. We also talk about what digital wellness looks like and how it impacts the recovery and healing journey.

RESOURCES

LeadMeNot (Jason's digital wellness company)

Tech Action Plan (Technology Tool)

Unwanted (Jay Stringer's book)

Wisephone (Techless product)

Three Circles Tool (Relapse Prevention Tool)

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281 - The Impact Of Sexual Addiction (w/ Dr. Adrian Hickmon)

Tue, 22 Nov 2022 11:00:00 +0000

When addressing unwanted sexual behavior or any level of sexual brokenness, the language of "addiction" is difficult to accept. What is it that makes something an addiction? What makes it a sexual addiction? To help us understand sexual addiction and its impact, we talk to Dr. Adrian Hickmon, a therapist and the founder of Capstone Treatment Center. We discuss the criteria of an "addiction," why sexual addiction is so damaging, how trauma factors in, how it damages relationships, and what recovery from this addiction looks like. We also get to hear stories from Adrian's clinical work at Capstone.

RESOURCES

Capstone Treatment Center (Adrian's organization)

The Urge (Carl Erik Fisher's book)

Don't Call It Love (Dr. Patrick Carnes' book)

IITAP Certifications (PSAP & CSAT)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

CSAT Certification (IITAP)

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280 - Stories Of Healing: Nate & Maggie Blaylock

Tue, 15 Nov 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Life becomes difficult when you lose your job, ministry, community, and home. This is the story of Nate and Maggie Blaylock. Because of Nate’s unwanted sexual behavior and addiction, not only did they have to leave the community they were a part of, they had to completely start over in another city. But that’s not where their story ended. Through their own healing and recovery, God equipped them to be healers in their own right. Listen to today’s Story of Healing to hear how God took them from broken and alone to becoming therapists who help others every day.

RESOURCES

Full Episode Video (YouTube)

PSAP Certification (IITAP)

Join A Local Pure Desire Group

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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279 - How To Support Pure Desire Groups At Your Church

Tue, 8 Nov 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Effectively supporting our church’s Pure Desire groups is multi-faceted. The words we use from the stage during a weekend service, the oversight offered to group leaders, and the frequency of announcing groups—these all impact recovery and healing groups in our church. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our newest team members, Immanuel Garraway, our Church Relations Specialist. We talk through what to do and not do as we support our groups. We discuss what level of pastoral involvement we encourage. Plus, we talk through resources to help churches run effective, life-changing Pure Desire groups.

RESOURCES

Group Leader Training (video course)

Individual Membership

Sexual Integrity 101 (video course)

Immanuelg@puredesire.org (Immanuel Garraway's contact)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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278 - The Four Pillars Of Sexual Love w/ Dr. Juli Slattery

Tue, 1 Nov 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Sexual love is God’s beautiful creation. But for so many of us, our brokenness negatively impacts it. This past September at the Pure Desire Summit, Dr. Juli Slattery spoke on the four pillars of sexual love and what makes it such a beautiful gift from God. On today’s episode, we feature her Summit breakout session. Dr. Slattery covers how the importance of faithfulness, intimate knowing, sacrificial love, and a passionate celebration of covenant love all impact our sex life.

RESOURCES

2022 Pure Desire Summit Lifetime Access

Authentic Intimacy (Juli's organization)

God, Sex, and Your Marriage (Juli's new book)

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277 - FAQ #14: Singles & Unmarried

Tue, 25 Oct 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Recovery and healing as a single or unmarried person can often seem confusing. Is there something wrong or lesser about me because I'm not married? What does sexual health look like as a single or unmarried person? On today's frequently asked questions episode, we cover many different aspects of being single or unmarried in recovery and healing. We talk about sexual health and its expression as an unmarried person, what is "too much" to share with a significant other or friends, betrayal trauma as a single person, and A LOT MORE!

RESOURCES

Living Free (College-Aged Men's Recovery Resource)

Relapse Prevention Plan (Free Tool)

Recovery Action Plan (Free Tool)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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276 - A Partner Sensitive Approach To Healing From Betrayal w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens

Tue, 18 Oct 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Healing from sexual betrayal is an incredibly important journey. In order to best help partners heal from the trauma experienced through sexual betrayal, we must understand what the partner needs. On today’s episode, we interview the founding president of The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS), Dr. Barbara Steffens. Dr. Steffens helps us understand what a partner-sensitive approach looks like (featured in our NEW Betrayal & Beyond resource), how this approach differs from other historical approaches, how the church can better serve betrayed partners, and why healing from betrayal trauma is so important.

RESOURCES

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse (Dr. Steffens' Book)

APSATS

APSATS Training

Betrayal & Beyond Preorder (Women's Betrayal Resource)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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275 - Running Effective Groups: Betrayal & Beyond

Tue, 11 Oct 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Women who experience sexual betrayal need healing just as much as their addicted spouses. The damage that betrayal trauma creates is massive. Women need a place to heal and process their experiences. This is what Betrayal & Beyond was created for—a group context and healing resource that facilitates the healing God provides those who’ve experienced sexual betrayal. We are in week 4 of our Running Effective Groups series. Today, we’re focused on running effective Betrayal & Beyond groups. We look at why these groups are so important, what the NEW and UPDATED Betrayal & Beyond resource covers, and how to help facilitate this healing environment for women.

RESOURCES

Betrayal & Beyond—available for preorder (Women's Betrayal Resource)

Groups Pathway (Free Resource)

7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma (Free eBook)

Connected (Marriage Resource)

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274 - Running Effective Groups: Unraveled

Tue, 4 Oct 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Women who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior feel double shame. First off, they feel shame because of their struggle. Secondly, they feel shame because they struggle with an area often addressed as a “man’s issue.” Sexual brokenness is not a respecter of gender. Men and women both struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors. We are now in week 3 of our Running Effective Groups series. Today, we talk about running effective Unraveled groups—our recovery resource for women. We talk through why these groups are needed, how they fit into the discipleship model, and what challenges may arise when leading recovery groups for women.

RESOURCES

The Female Addict & Unraveled (Podcast)

Leading Unraveled Groups (Podcast)

Unraveled (Podcast)

Recovery Action Plan (Tool)

Relapse Prevention Plan (Tool)

Group Pathway (Free Resource)

Group Guidelines (Tool)

Genesis Process (Recovery Resource)

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273 - Running Effective Groups: Seven Pillars Of Freedom

Tue, 27 Sep 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Today is week 2 of our 4-week Running Effective Pure Desire Groups series. This week we look at our recovery groups for men: Seven Pillars Of Freedom. We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launching Pure Desire recovery and support groups.

RESOURCES

Group Pathway (Free Resource)

Recovery Tools: Commitment To Change (Podcast)

Double Bind & Commitment To Change (Podcast)

Making A Better Commitment To Change (Podcast)

Recovery Tools: FASTER Scale (Podcast)

5 Tips On Using The FASTER Scale (Podcast)

The FASTER Scale (Podcast)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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272 - Running Effective Groups: Sexual Integrity 101

podcast@puredesire.org (Trevor Winsor, Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo) — Tue, 20 Sep 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Today begins a 4-part series on running effective Pure Desire groups. Week 1 is focused on our introductory video course: Sexual Integrity 101. We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launching Pure Desire recovery and support groups.

RESOURCES RESOURCES

Group Pathway (Free Resource)

Relapse Prevention Plan (Three Circles Tool)

Individual Membership

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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271 - Developing A Purity Ministry

Tue, 13 Sep 2022 13:00:00 +0000

It's natural to want others to experience the healing and freedom Pure Desire groups have given us. But for so many of us, the notion of bringing groups to our church is daunting. This is why Pure Desire has created a roadmap for developing a purity ministry at your church. In today's episode, we want through each step of this roadmap and give encouragement on what it looks like to implement Pure Desire groups into your church.

RESOURCES

Developing Purity Groups (PDF)

Group Pathway

Three Circles Tool (Relapse Prevention)

Individual Membership

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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270 - Emotions Below The Surface (2021 Summit Session)

Tue, 6 Sep 2022 13:00:00 +0000

This week, we throw it back to 2021 and the Pure Desire Summit! Robert Vander Meer taught a breakout session at the Summit titled, Emotions Below The Surface. As we are now only 10 days away from the 2022 Summit, we thought we'd give you a taste of what's in store. Spoiler alert: Robert is one of the plenary speakers at this year's Summit! Explore with us the emotions that live below the surface and how they impact our lives each day. If you like Robert's session, register for the Summit here.

RESOURCES

2022 Pure Desire Summit

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Summit 2026!: Register Now

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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269 - Going ALL IN For Recovery & Healing

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Trevor Winsor, Nick Stumbo) — Tue, 30 Aug 2022 13:00:00 +0000

The theme of the 2022 Pure Desire Summit (Sept. 16-17, 2022) is “ALL IN.” But what does that mean? What does it look like to go “ALL IN” for our recovery and healing? On today’s episode, we talk through what an “ALL IN” approach to our healing journey looks like, how to identify our next steps in recovery, and the benefits of seeing recovery as a lifelong endeavor.

RESOURCES

2022 Pure Desire Summit

Pure Desire Groups

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Summit 2026!: Register Now

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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268 - Techless w/ Chris Kaspar

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 13:00:00 +0000

One of the most needed guardrails in recovery revolves around technology. We consider how to use our computers or devices. One question many ask is, "What about my smartphone?" On today's episode, we talk to Chris Kaspar, CEO of Techless—a company offering a phone designed to cut out unnecessary distractions like social media, addictions, and advertisements. We talk to Chris about technology's impact on digital addiction, sexuality, and our relationships. We talk about Techless' new Wisephone and why it's a great option for cutting out the distraction technology creates in our lives.

RESOURCES

Wisephone (Techless Product)

Techless (Website)

Techless Facebook Page

Techless Instagram Page

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267 - Rebuilding & Restoring Lives

Tue, 16 Aug 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Part of the recovery journey is giving back. Sharing our story, leading Pure Desire groups, and even giving back financially. Today, we’re joined by two members of our advancement team, John Begeman and Rodney Wright. John and Rodney talk about the role generosity plays in the recovery process, how God is using donations to expand sexual health, and what major projects Pure Desire is working on.

RESOURCES

Join Team 58

How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex (Rodney's Book)

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266 - Polygraphs & The Disclosure Process

Tue, 9 Aug 2022 13:00:00 +0000

A common aspect of the full disclosure process is a polygraph. Polygraphs can carry a certain stigma with them. But what is a polygraph and what benefit does it offer a couple going through recovery and healing? Today, we’re joined by our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen. Tyler gives us an inside look at what a polygraph is, how it fits into the full disclosure process, and how it helps rebuild trust in a marriage.

RESOURCES

Recovery Action Plan (Struggling Spouse)

Recovery Action Plan (Betrayed Spouse)

Full Disclosure Process Counseling

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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265 - Finding Your True Self w/ Marilyn Vancil

Tue, 2 Aug 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Each of us carries two types of “self.” Our authentic self—who God has made us to be. And our adapted self—the facade we’ve created to protect ourselves from pain and difficulty. On today’s episode, we talk to Marilyn Vancil, a spiritual director, coach, and author of Self To Lose, Self To Find. Marilyn talks us through how to identify which self we are living out of and what tools we can use to live out of who God made us to be.

RESOURCES

Self To Lose, Self To Find (Marilyn's book)

MarilynVancil.com

Beyond The Enneagram (Marilyn's book—coming October 18, 2022)

Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Mens' Recovery Resource)

Genesis Process (Recovery Resource)

Relapse Prevention Tool (Three Circles)

Should Christians Use The Enneagram? (Blog Post)

OWN-UP Worksheet

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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264 - Unmet Longings & Unhealthy Behaviors w/ Ben Bennett

Tue, 26 Jul 2022 13:00:00 +0000

A switch gets flipped when we begin to understand why we do what we do (especially with our unwanted behaviors). This understanding isn’t gained easily, but when it is, it changes the whole game. On today’s episode, we’re joined by a friend of the show who is an author, speaker, and influencer to the next generation–Ben Bennett. Ben joins us to help us find the connection between our unmet longings and how they play out in our unhealthy behaviors. We also discuss how to meet these longings in healthy ways.

RESOURCES

RESOLUTION MOVEMENT (BEN’S ORGANIZATION)

FREE TO THRIVE (BEN’S BOOK)

RELAPSE PREVENTION TOOL (THREE CIRCLES)

JOSH MCDOWELL MINISTRY

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263 - Myth Busters: Self-Care Is Selfish

Tue, 19 Jul 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Whether it’s been caught or taught, many of us believe self-care is selfish. We can so easily see and encourage it in others, but when it comes to our own self-care, we dismiss it as too “self-focused.” Why do we believe this? Does this belief cause damage? How can we change this underlying belief? Today, we are joined by Traci Wright (Pure Desire Clinician and author) to explore the myth “self-care is selfish” and discuss how to improve our personal self-care.

RESOURCES

GET STARTED

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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262 - Understanding Our Unwanted Behaviors w/ Jay Stringer

Tue, 12 Jul 2022 13:00:00 +0000

We all have some form of unwanted behavior in our life. Whether it's pornography, affairs, fantasy, or any other form of sexual brokenness, understanding where these behaviors come from is essential! If we want to break free from our unwanted behaviors, we must understand them. If we truly want to understand our unwanted behaviors, we must be curious. This requires honesty, courage, and hard work. On today's episode, Jay Stringer, author of Unwanted and featured speaker at this year's Pure Desire Summit, joins us to help us get to the root of our unwanted behaviors and gives us direction on what it means to understand them. He also gives us a sneak peek into what he'll be sharing at the Summit.

RESOURCES

2022 Pure Desire Summit (Event)

Unwanted (Jay's book)

The Allender Center

Heart of Man (Film)

Jay's Website

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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261 - FAQ #13

Tue, 5 Jul 2022 13:00:00 +0000

On today’s new FAQ episode, we cover a lot. This is what these episodes are for: giving answers to tough questions. Today’s topics include emotional anorexia, white-knuckling, sexual content in video games, getting triggered at the gym, same-sex attraction, and more!

RESOURCES

Recovery Action Plan (Struggling Spouse)

Recovery Action Plan (Betrayed Spouse)

One-Sided Healing: Addicted (Podcast Episode)

One-Sided Healing: Betrayed (Podcast Episode)

Honesty vs. Disclosure (Podcast)

Honestly Speaking (Blog)

Fear Of Sex During Recovery (Podcast Episode)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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260 - The Pure Desire Podcast Turns 5!

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Trevor Winsor, Nick Stumbo) — Wed, 29 Jun 2022 00:16:05 +0000

Today, our podcast turns 5! We’re so thankful for you (the listeners/viewers) for tuning in each week and encouraging us to keep pushing the conversation forward. On today's livestream recording, we're: reading some reviews of the show, talking through why we started and will continue to do the podcast, covering some Pure Desire history and the podcast, discussing where we are headed in the next year, and announcing exciting and upcoming developments at Pure Desire

RESOURCES

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260 - Teaser

podcast@puredesire.org (Nick Stumbo, Pure Desire Ministries, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 28 Jun 2022 10:00:00 +0000

We have a special invitation for you to join us live THIS AFTERNOON to celebrate 5 years of the podcast!

Join us LIVE: CLICK HERE

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259 - Starting Pure Desire Groups At Your Church

Tue, 21 Jun 2022 13:00:00 +0000

When is the best time to start groups in my church? What should be my first steps? What if I don’t have buy-in from my pastor/leader? Do we need groups for men and women? These are the questions all of us ask when starting Pure Desire groups in our church. These and many other questions can leave us directionless and with little hope on starting groups. On today’s episode, we give direction on all of it. We talk through timing of groups, getting support from leaders, promotion, and introductory meetings. Starting Pure Desire groups at your church doesn’t need to be an uphill battle. Today’s conversation will help you get Pure Desire groups up and running.

RESOURCES

Group Leader Training (video course)

Sexual Integrity 101 (video course)

Fight The New Drug's Brain, Heart, World (film series)

Safe (Nick's book)

Seven Pillars of Freedom (men's recovery resource)

Betrayal & Beyond (women's betrayal resource)

Unraveled (women's recovery resource)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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258 - Faith, Sexuality, & Gender w/ Preston Sprinkle

Tue, 14 Jun 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Is it possible to hold a biblical sexual ethic and love those who don’t hold to it? Our guest, Dr. Preston Sprinkle, works to answer this question in his work as the president of The Center For Faith, Sexuality, & Gender. Preston is the host of the Theology In The Raw podcast and is a New York Times Best-Selling author of books like People To Be Loved, Embodied, and Living In A Gray World. Preston joins us today to talk through the tension we experience between the Bible’s teaching on sexuality and our efforts to love those in the LGBTQ community.

RESOURCES

The Center For Faith, Sexuality, & Gender (Preston's organization)

Theology In The Raw (Preston's podcast)

People To Be Loved (Preston's book)

Living In A Gray World (Preston's book)

Embodied (Preston's book)

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257 - 7 Tips As You Begin Healing From Betrayal

Tue, 7 Jun 2022 10:00:00 +0000

Many of us who experience betrayal trauma are thrown into it. We didn’t cause it. We didn’t choose it. But here we are: suffering. The thought of pursuing our own healing when we experience betrayal seems unfair. Ultimately, it is. But we have the choice to step into healing for ourselves—to restore what has been broken and damaged. On today’s episode, we explore 7 tips or encouragements as we enter the journey of healing from betrayal. Heather Kolb, our Content Manager, joins us and shares from her experience and expertise.

RESOURCES

Recovery Action Plan–Spouses (Tool)

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256 - 7 Tips As You Begin Recovery From Addiction

Tue, 31 May 2022 10:00:00 +0000

The journey of recovery from unwanted sexual behavior is not an intuitive one. There are many aspects we never knew to consider when working to create sexual health in our lives. When we do enter the recovery journey, there can be many ups and downs. That's why, on today's episode, we talk through 7 tips for those on the front end of their recovery from addiction journey. These are 7 tips we wish we knew as we started our journeys.

RESOURCES

Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships (Women's Recovery Resource)

Sexual Integrity 101 video course

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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255 - Restoring Our Vows w/ Brandon & Tonia Clark

Tue, 24 May 2022 10:00:00 +0000

Like many marriages, Brandon and Tonia Clark experienced the damage of a pornography addiction. Through Brandon's addiction, they experienced crisis in their marriage and didn't know how to address the problem. Today, Brandon and Tonia join us to tell the story of how they restored their marriage and their vows and how they're using their story to help others do the same.

RESOURCES

Restored Vows Course (Covenant Eyes Free 14-day Video Course)

Covenant Eyes (Accountability Software)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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254 - Fear Of Sex During Recovery

Tue, 17 May 2022 10:00:00 +0000

When entering the recovery and healing process, there can be lots of fear. Fears like "will this work?" or "can I really restore my marriage?" But one of the biggest fears couples face is the fear of re-engaging in their sexual relationship. Today, we are joined by clinicians, Robert and Rebecca Vander Meer, to talk through this fear and ways to work through it during the recovery process.

RESOURCES

Sex During Recovery (Podcast Episode)

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253 - Gaslighting, Manipulating, & Lying

Tue, 10 May 2022 10:00:00 +0000

Men and women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior or sexual brokenness often work very hard to protect themselves. Protecting themselves from the pain in life and protecting themselves from the consequences of their behavior. This often takes the form of gaslighting, manipulating, and lying. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our clinicians, Eileen Fagan, to talk through why those struggling chose these behaviors, how spouses can identify them, and how couples can heal from their effects.

RESOURCES

Genesis Process (Michael Dye's Recovery Resource)

Center For Healthy Sex

Recovery Action Plan (For Struggling Spouse)

Recovery Action Plan (For Betrayed Spouse)

Disclosure Process Counseling

Relapse Prevention Tool/Three Circles (Recovery Tool)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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252 - Pastors, Church Leaders, & Sexual Misconduct

Tue, 3 May 2022 10:00:00 +0000

It seems like every few months there is another report of a Christian leader caught in sexual misconduct. This is extremely sad. It shouldn't be this way. But why does this keep happening? Can we do anything about it? How do we change this trend with our leaders and in our churches? Today we tackle all of these questions. There is a better way and we need to take steps to create it in our churches.

RESOURCES

How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex

The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill (Christianity Today's Podcast)

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251 - The Good Guide To Great Sex w/ Dr. Keith & Sheila Wray Gregoire

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 13:00:00 +0000

Sheila Wray Gregoire is back on the podcast today and she is joined by her husband, Dr. Keith. They’ve been busy updating and writing their books, The Good Girls Guide To Great Sex and The Good Guys Guide To Great Sex! Today, we talk to Sheila and Dr. Keith about their books, interesting findings from their research of over 25,000 Christian women, a new approach to sexual intimacy in marriage, how frequent we should be having sex, and A LOT more!

RESOURCES

The Good Girl's Guide To Great Sex (Sheila's updated book)

The Good Guy's Guide To Great Sex (Sheila & Keith's new book)

To Love, Honor, and Vaccum (Sheila's blog)

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250 - Taboo Topics

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 13:00:00 +0000

When entering our sexual history or the history of our group members, it’s likely we’ll encounter topics considered “taboo.” Topics like fetishes, fantasies, same-sex attraction, or others. We all have potentially taboo aspects to our sexual history. On today’s episode, we are joined by Rich Moore (Associate Director of Men’s Groups) to talk about these topics, how to respond to these topics when they come up, and how we can diminish the shame around these elements of our story.

RESOURCES

GROUP LEADER TRAINING (PRE-ORDER)

MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING (TOOL)

COVENANT TO CONTEND (TOOL)

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246 - Replacing Unwanted Sexual Behaviors

Tue, 22 Mar 2022 13:00:00 +0000

It’s not enough to just stop our unwanted sexual behaviors. In order to truly break free and heal from the effects of unwanted sexual behaviors, we must find replacement behaviors. Like learning to ride a bike, our mind holds on to repeated behaviors and never lets them go. If we want to stop these automatic behaviors, our brain requires we replace them with new ones. On today’s episode, we discuss why we need new behaviors, what kinds we should pursue, and how to make sure our new behaviors don’t get added to the list of unwanted ones.

RESOURCES

UNRAVELED (WOMEN’S RECOVERY RESOURCE)

INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (MEN’S RECOVERY RESOURCE)

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245 - Sacrifices of Recovery & Healing

Tue, 15 Mar 2022 13:00:00 +0000

It's the consequences of unwanted sexual behavior that often motivate us most in starting the recovery or healing journey. Whether we’re the struggling spouse or the one betrayed, the crisis and damage of sexual brokenness make the recovery and healing process very necessary. But once we enter this journey, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. As we grow and develop health, we begin setting boundaries and evaluating our life with a new lens. As we do so, we can lose hobbies, jobs, and even relationships. On today’s episode, we talk with Mike Maxwell about the reality of what we might have to sacrifice on the recovery and healing journey and why our health is still worth it all.

RESOURCES

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244 - How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Sexual Betrayal

Tue, 8 Mar 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Sexual betrayal is one of the most devastating things a person can experience. Though struggling spouses are not primarily out to hurt their husband/wife, sexual brokenness brings immense amounts of pain and trauma into a marriage. As an addict or struggler, is it possible to help our spouse heal from the pain we’ve caused? Is there anything we can do to help in the healing process? On today’s episode, we explore what an addicted/struggling spouse can do (if anything) to help their spouse heal from sexual betrayal.

RESOURCES

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (BETRAYED WOMEN’S RESOURCE)

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (STRUGGLING MEN’S RESOURCE)

UNRAVELED (STRUGGLING WOMEN’S RESOURCE)

HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYED MEN’S RESOURCE)

APSATS (BARABARA STEFFENS ORGANIZATION)

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243 - Spiritual Bypass w/ Dr. Craig Cashwell

Tue, 1 Mar 2022 14:00:00 +0000

As followers of Jesus, knowing what is true and biblical is important. But when it comes to battling the effects of unwanted sexual behavior or betrayal trauma we can very easily use spiritual truths to minimize the reality of our situation or struggle. This is referred to as "spiritual bypass." On today's episode, Dr. Craig Cashwell talks to us about spiritual bypass and why it can be so damaging on our journey of healing and recovery.

RESOURCES

SHADOWS OF THE CROSS (CRAIG’S RESOURCE)

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242 - Women's Takeover #4 - Stories Of Healing: Cyndie & Dusty Gillingham

Tue, 22 Feb 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Sexual brokenness shatters the lives of so many men and women. We’ve heard this story many times: a man struggles with unwanted sexual behaviors and, because of this, his wife experiences betrayal trauma. But what happens when the roles are reversed? When a woman struggles and betrays her husband? On today’s episode, Cyndie and Dusty tell us their story of healing. They share how sexual brokenness impacted their relationship, how they were introduced to Pure Desire, what their recovery and healing journey looks like, and so much more!

RESOURCES

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241 - Women's Takeover #3: Empowering A Betrayed Partner

Tue, 15 Feb 2022 11:00:00 +0000

When discovery or disclosure happens, it impacts the mind, body, and soul of a betrayed partner. Our mind becomes stuck on rewind; processing every word of every day, wondering how we missed it. We can’t eat. We can’t sleep. We no longer feel safe. Is there any hope? On today’s episode, we sit down with Jennifer Howie and talk through several aspects of betrayal trauma that will empower a betrayed partner on their healing journey.

RESOURCES

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (WOMEN’S BETRAYAL RESOURCE)

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240 - Women's Takeover #2: Integrating Psychology & Spirituality w/ Dr. Craig Cashwell

Tue, 8 Feb 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Historically, in many faith communities, there seemed to be a great divide: psychology on one side of the canyon and spirituality on the other side. But now, this gap is closing. On today’s episode, we are privileged to have Dr. Craig Cashwell as our guest. We first met Dr. Cashwell during Module 2 of the PSAP training and used this opportunity to dig deeper into what we learned. As a Mental Health Counselor, Professor, and author, he shares his passion for integrating psychology and spirituality, how this plays out in the healing process, and so much more.

RESOURCES

SHADOWS OF THE CROSS (CRAIG’S RESOURCE)

INTEGRATING SPIRITUALITY & RELIGION INTO COUNSELING (CRAIG’S RESOURCE)

CLINICAL MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING (CRAIG’S RESOURCE)

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239 - Women's Takeover #1: Healing From Betrayal w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens

Tue, 1 Feb 2022 14:00:00 +0000

When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. She is the author of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and the founding President of APSATS: The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. Dr. Steffens walks us through what it looks like to find healing from betrayal trauma.

RESOURCES

APSATS (BARBARA’S ORGANIZATION)

YOUR SEXUALLY ADDICTED SPOUSE (BARBARA’S BOOK)

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238 - Barriers To Sexual Intimacy w/ Dr. Juli Slattery

Tue, 25 Jan 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Creating emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage can be challenging. This is especially true when sexual brokenness is present in a marriage. Today, Dr. Juli Slattery joins us to talk through barriers couples face when creating sexual intimacy and how we can overcome them.

RESOURCES

AUTHENTIC INTIMACY WEBSITE

FIND THE HERO IN YOUR HUSBAND: REVISITED (JULI’S BOOK)

JAVA WITH JULI (JULI’S PODCAST)

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Tue, 7 Dec 2021 14:00:00 +0000

Trevor Winsor is the host of our podcast and today we turn the tables on him. Today, he's our guest and we ask him to share his story of healing. What started as looking for ways to help his students, Trevor stumbled into his own recovery journey. Today, he recounts his recovery journey from wounded and broken to helping others find hope and healing.

RESOURCES

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230 - Healing Different Types of Trauma

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 14:00:00 +0000

Trauma is something we've all faced in life. And trauma comes in a few different variations. Whether it's big traumatic events that rock our world or smaller traumatic events that happen over a long period of time, trauma impacts our lives at a very deep level. On today's episode, we look at the different types of trauma we can experience in life and how to bring healing to each of them.

RESOURCES

TRAUMA CHECKLIST

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229 - Crash Site Analysis

Tue, 23 Nov 2021 14:00:00 +0000

Relapse is never something we desire on the recovery journey. But a relapse is one of the best times to evaluate needed steps for sobriety. In today's episode, we look at a tool called the Crash Site Analysis. This tool helps us evaluate our recent relapse and identify the necessary steps for creating sobriety.

RESOURCES

THREE CIRCLES (TOOL)

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228 - Matrix of Addiction

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 14:00:00 +0000

Sobriety and sexual health require a lot of self-awareness. If we want to break free from unwanted sexual behaviors, we have to be aware of our pattern of relapse. On today's episode, we talk about a tool called the Matrix of Addiction. This tool helps us identify our relapse pattern and begin creating sobriety.

RESOURCES

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227 - FAQ #12: Sex

Tue, 9 Nov 2021 14:00:00 +0000

Sex is one of the biggest areas of a relationship or individual's life that is impacted by sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Today, we field listener questions on the topic of sex. We cover things like fantasies, fetishes, low-sex drive, sexual anorexia, and more.

Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes:

Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org
Message/DM us with your questions

RESOURCES

SHEILA WRAY GREGOIRE’S LINKS:

CLIFFORD & JOYCE PENNER’S LINKS:

JAY STRINGER’S LINKS:

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226 - Stories Of Healing: Nick & Michelle Stumbo

Tue, 2 Nov 2021 13:00:00 +0000

Nick and Michelle looked like they had it all. A good marriage, growing ministry, and a beautiful family. But in secret, Nick's sexual addiction was killing it all from the inside. Though he was a respected pastor, hated his behavior, and confessed often, Nick couldn't break free. This left Michelle at the point of wanting to leave. But that's not how the story ends. Over the past 10 years, their marriage, family, and ministry is thriving. Today, they tell us their story of healing.

RESOURCES

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR WOMEN)

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (RECOVERY RESOURCE FOR MEN)

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225 - A Couples Guide To Conquering Betrayal

Tue, 26 Oct 2021 13:00:00 +0000

Experiencing sexual betrayal is unique. Finding out your spouse has been unfaithful or sexually acting out outside your marriage bed is soul-crushing. Is there hope for those experiencing betrayal trauma? We have Dr. Stefanie Carnes, President of the International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals, on the podcast today to give us guidance for conquering betrayal in a marriage/relationship. She walks us through disclosure, rebuilding trust, and how to heal relationships after sexual betrayal.

RESOURCES

COURAGEOUS LOVE: A COUPLES GUIDE TO CONQUERING BETRAYAL (STEFANIE’S RESOURCE)

DR. STEFANIE CARNES BIO (IITAP)

STEFANIE’S BOOK ON AMAZON (LINK)

HELP HER HEAL BY DR. CAROL CHEETS

PASTORAL SEX ADDICTION PROFESSIONAL CERTIFICATION (THROUGH IITAP)

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224 - The Enneagram & Recovery Pt. 2 w/ Jeff & Beth McCord

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 13:00:00 +0000

The Enneagram is a personality tool with many helpful aspects. Today, continue our conversation with Jeff and Beth McCord, authors and founders of Your Enneagram Coach, about how the Enneagram can be a helpful tool in recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Today's episode is part 2 of our 2-part interview with the McCord's where we explore how the Enneagram can integrate into our healing and recovery.

RESOURCES

YOURENNEAGRAMCOACH.COM (JEFF & BETH’S WEBSITE)

9 ENNEAGRAM TYPES CORE MOTIVATIONS (FREE DOWNLOAD)

SHOULD CHRISTIANS USE THE ENNEAGRAM? (BLOG ARTICLE)

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223 - The Enneagram & Recovery Pt. 1 w/ Jeff & Beth McCord

Tue, 12 Oct 2021 13:00:00 +0000

The Enneagram is a personality tool with many helpful aspects. Today, we talk to Jeff and Beth McCord, authors and founders of Your Enneagram Coach, about how the Enneagram can be a helpful tool in recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Today's episode is part 1 of our 2-part interview with the McCord's where we explore how the Enneagram can integrate in our healing and recovery.

RESOURCES

YOURENNEAGRAMCOACH.COM (JEFF & BETH’S WEBSITE)

9 ENNEAGRAM TYPES CORE MOTIVATIONS (FREE DOWNLOAD)

SHOULD CHRISTIANS USE THE ENNEAGRAM? (BLOG ARTICLE)

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222 - Rescuing Our Marriages From Porn w/ Sheila Wray Gregoire

Tue, 5 Oct 2021 13:00:00 +0000

Pornography and sexual brokenness are destroying marriages. But what if the messages we are taught about sex are just as damaging? Messages like "all men struggle with porn" or "women shouldn't deprive their husbands of sex" can be detrimental to our marriages. Today, we talk with the author of The Great Sex Rescue, Sheila Wray Gregoire, about how to rescue our marriages from porn and the negative sex messages we receive from the world and the church.

RESOURCES

TO LOVE, HONOR, AND VACUUM (SHEILA’S BLOG)

BARE MARRIAGE PODCAST (SHEILA’S PODCAST)

THE GREAT SEX RESCUE (SHEILA’S NEWEST BOOK)

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221 - Stories Of Healing: Harry Flanagan

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 13:00:00 +0000

Harry Flanagan, AKA "Father Flanagan," was a pastor, leader, and influential member of his community. But due to his sexual addiction, all of that was lost. Family, ministry, and sense of purpose. But then Harry was introduced to Dr. Ted Roberts and Pure Desire Ministries. Now, Harry is a clinician and author with Pure Desire. Today, he shares his story of healing.

RESOURCES

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (RECOVERY RESOURCE FOR MEN)

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220 - Extroverts In Group

Tue, 21 Sep 2021 10:00:00 +0000

There are two different kinds of group members: introverts and extroverts. Both need group. This week, we talk through what being an extrovert in group looks like (how to encourage them in listening and limiting their sharing), how to lead extroverts in group (if they take over a group meeting or advice-give), and how extroverts can best heal in a Pure Desire group setting.

RESOURCES

PURE DESIRE GROUP GUIDELINES

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (RECOVERY GROUP FOR MEN)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (HEALING GROUP FOR WOMEN)

UNRAVELED (RECOVERY GROUP FOR WOMEN)

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219 - Introverts In Group

Tue, 14 Sep 2021 10:00:00 +0000

There are two different kinds of group members: introverts and extroverts. Both need group. This week, we talk through what being an introvert in group looks like (how to engage and feel confident sharing your story), how to lead introverts in group (drawing their sharing out of them without badgering), and how introverts can best heal in a Pure Desire group setting.

RESOURCES

PURE DESIRE GROUP GUIDELINES

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (RECOVERY GROUP FOR MEN)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (HEALING GROUP FOR WOMEN)

UNRAVELED (RECOVERY GROUP FOR WOMEN) PURE DESIRE ONLINE GROUPS

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218 - Healing Below The Surface

Tue, 7 Sep 2021 10:00:00 +0000

In anticipation of this week's Pure Desire Summit, we wanted to explore the reality of healing happening below the surface. Finding freedom from sexual brokenness or healing from betrayal trauma doesn't happen with behavior modification. It's a deeper healing of our thoughts, feelings, and core beliefs about ourselves, God, and others. Today we explore below the surface healing.

RESOURCES

THE DIFFERENT PARTS OF ME W/ JENNA RIEMERSMA (PODCAST)

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217 - Internal Family Systems & Betrayal w/ Jenna Riemersma

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Betrayal trauma causes inner chaos. Parts of us want to run away and find safety. Other parts of us want to stay and fix or save. These "parts" of us can wage war, making us feel burnt out and hopeless. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model that identifies these "parts" in us and how they wage war with each other. So much is at stake when choosing to address our trauma, so we must learn to see each part of ourselves as truly welcome. Today, we're joined by IFS practitioner and therapist, Jenna Riemersma to talk about how IFS can help us heal from our betrayal trauma and truly see how to welcome each "part" with compassion.

RESOURCES

ALTOGETHER YOU (JENNA’S BOOK)

JENNARIEMERSMA.COM (JENNA’S WEBSITE)

THE ATLANTA CENTER FOR RELATIONAL HEALING (JENNA’S ORGANIZATION)

PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (JENNA IS KEYNOTE SPEAKER)

BLOOM FOR WOMEN (WEBSITE)

PATH FOR MEN (WEBSITE)

THE DIFFERENT PARTS OF ME (PODCAST EPISODE WITH JENNA)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

ALTOGETHER YOU (JENNA’S BOOK)

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216 - Internal Family Systems & Addiction w/ Jenna Riemersma

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 10:30:00 +0000

Anyone struggling with addictions knows the feeling of internal warfare. Parts of us hate the addiction while other parts of us keep pursuing it. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model that identifies these "parts" in us and how they wage war with each other. As these parts fight it out, our unwanted behavior rages and wreaks havoc in our lives. Today, we're joined by IFS practitioner and therapist, Jenna Riemersma to talk about how IFS can help us battle our addictions and truly see how to welcome all parts of ourselves to the table.

RESOURCES

JENNARIEMERSMA.COM (JENNA’S WEBSITE)

THE ATLANTA CENTER FOR RELATIONAL HEALING (JENNA’S ORGANIZATION)

PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (JENNA IS KEYNOTE SPEAKER)

BLOOM FOR WOMEN (WEBSITE)

PATH FOR MEN (WEBSITE)

THE DIFFERENT PARTS OF ME (PODCAST EPISODE WITH JENNA)

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215 - Free To Thrive w/ Ben Bennett

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Ever battled anxiety, doubt, or shame? These often stem from unresolved emotional scars that leave us with unfulfilled longings. We try to fulfill these longings through unhealthy behaviors and relationships that end up hurting instead of helping. This is why Ben Bennett (and Josh McDowell) wrote the book, Free To Thrive! We talk to Ben about his new book and what thriving really looks like as a follower of Christ.

RESOURCES

PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (BEN IS A KEYNOTE SPEAKER)

FREE TO THRIVE BOOK (USE PROMO CODE "BEN" TO GET 25% OFF)

BEN BENNETT ON INSTAGRAM

RESOLUTION MOVEMENT ON INSTAGRAM

RESOLUTION MOVEMENT ON YOUTUBE

SEXUAL INTEGRITY 101 VIDEO COURSE

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214 - Myth Busters: Sex Every 72 Hours

Tue, 10 Aug 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Men and women in the church hear the message "men need sex every 72 hours." Though a regular sex life is good for a marriage, this message can cause damaging effects. Today, we explore this message and identify why it's a myth, discuss the negative impact it has, and what healthy sex looks like in marriage.

RESOURCES

BETHESDA WORKSHOPS (TODAY'S SPONSOR)

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213 - The Effects of Pornography w/ Josh McDowell

Tue, 3 Aug 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Apologist and author, Josh McDowell has spent the past few years focusing on the area of sexual brokenness, specifically pornography. Today, we talk to Josh about what he's learned from years of research on the effects of pornography. We talk about trends we're seeing and what we can do to change the tide of sexual brokenness in our world.

RESOURCES

CARE FOR PASTORS (WEBSITE)

FREE TO THRIVE (JOSH’S NEW BOOK)

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212 - 7 Keys to Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Betrayal trauma is a real thing. When sexual brokenness and addiction enter a marriage or relationship, betrayal trauma enters with it. But what is betrayal trauma? How does it show itself in a marriage? Today, we talk about 7 keys to understanding what betrayal trauma is and how to heal from it.

RESOURCES

7 KEYS TO UNDERSTANDING BETRAYAL TRAUMA (FREE EBOOK)

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (STRUGGLING SPOUSE)

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211 - Stories Of Healing: Evelyn James

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 10:00:00 +0000

When Evelyn found out about her husband's addiction on their honeymoon, everything changed. You'd think it was addressed right then...well, it wasn't. Years later, when Evelyn finally drew her line in the sand, her husband joined a group and started his healing journey. From there, Evelyn experienced her own healing. And now? Well, she’s leading other women through their betrayal trauma and helping them develop self-worth. Today, Evelyn James shares her story of healing.

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EVELYN’S INSTAGRAM

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210 - Hope For Betrayed Men

Tue, 13 Jul 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Though it may not happen as often, men do experience betrayal trauma. Whether it’s their wife’s sexual addiction, affair, or unwanted sexual behavior, men experience betrayal. Is it different for men than it is for women? What can men do if this happens? Who can they talk to? We talk with Rich Moore about his experience of betrayal trauma and talk through what hope for betrayed men looks like.

RESOURCES

HOPE FOR MEN ONLINE GROUP

HOPE FOR MEN WORKBOOK

MENDED (BOOK)

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209 - Avengers & Recovery

podcast@puredesire.org (Trevor Winsor, Nick Stumbo, Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 6 Jul 2021 10:00:00 +0000

There are many parallels between superhero stories and recovery. In anticipation of the newest release in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we explore themes, storylines, and dynamics of some of our favorite MCU heroes and apply them to our journey through healing and recovery.

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208 - Fight For Love w/ Rosie Makinney

Tue, 29 Jun 2021 10:00:00 +0000

When sexual addiction invades a marriage, the betrayed spouse feels like their life implodes. We can’t make sense of anything and trauma takes place. All this confusion and pain can cause us to get stuck between discovery and recovery. Today, we talk to Rosie Makinney, founder of Fight For Love Ministries, about how to help betrayed women get out of the difficult in-between and into healing and recovery.

RESOURCES

FIGHT FOR LOVE FACEBOOK GROUP

FIGHT FOR LOVE (WEBSITE)

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207 - Sexual Abuse & The Fearless Series

Tue, 22 Jun 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Sexual abuse is more prevalent than many of us realize. Statistics (even inside the church) are astronomical. So, what can we (the church) do about it? We talk to Dr. James and Laura Reeves about addressing sexual abuse in the church and their new video resource, The Fearless Series. We talk about who this series is for, how it helps, and what churches can do to help the women in our churches who've experienced sexual abuse.

RESOURCES

THE FEARLESS SERIES TRAILER

THE FEARLESS SERIES

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206 - Stories Of Healing: Ben Bennett

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Ben Bennett, director of Resolution Movement (a Josh McDowell Ministry), was stuck in sexual addiction, depression, and anxiety. His sexual addiction was about survival. But through his introduction to Pure Desire, Ben found freedom from addiction. And as the author of Living Free (a recovery resource for college-aged men), Ben is leading others toward thriving in the life God intended for them. Today, we talk through how he went from sexual addiction to thriving.

RESOURCES

FREE TO THRIVE (PRE-ORDER BEN’S NEW BOOK)

RESOLUTION MOVEMENT

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205 - FAQ #11

Tue, 8 Jun 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Are sending intimate pictures of ourselves to our spouse ok? When do we start talking with our kids about sexuality? How do we help our kids if our spouse is addicted? These questions and more on today's Frequently Asked Questions episode.

Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes:

Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org
Message/DM us with your questions

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204 - The Great Sex Rescue w/ Sheila Wray Gregoire

Tue, 1 Jun 2021 10:00:00 +0000

What if intercourse isn't sex? What if sex is so much more than a sexual act between two people? Author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, joins us today to talk about her new book, The Great Sex Rescue. We talk about what sex really is and how to rescue it from how our world and culture distort it.

RESOURCES

TO LOVE, HONOR, AND VACUUM (SHEILA’S BLOG)

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203 - Myth Busters: Emotions Are Bad

Tue, 25 May 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Are emotions bad? Point blank: No! So why do so many of us run away from them, avoid them, and disregard them? Today, we talk about the myth so many of us were taught: emotions are bad.

RESOURCES

INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS PODCAST EPISODE W/ JENNA RIEMERSMA

ALTOGETHER YOU (JENNA RIEMERSMA’S BOOK)

PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (EVENT)

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202 - Stories Of Healing: Asher & Ashley Sears

Tue, 18 May 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Asher and Ashley Sears had a typical back and forth marriage with sexual addiction and betrayal. But they don't live that way now! Why is this? Just by chance, Ashley was introduced to a recovery resource and encouraged Asher to pursue it. Neither knew this would kickstart new levels of healing and intimacy in their marriage. Today, we hear their beautiful story of healing.

RESOURCES

STORIES UNVEILED CONFERENCE

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201 - What If My Struggling Spouse Doesn't Want Healing?

Tue, 11 May 2021 10:00:00 +0000

For a marriage to truly heal from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, both spouses need healing. We refer to it as a “family systems issue.” But what if our struggling spouse doesn’t want to pursue healing? Should we continue on our own healing journey? Can we help them? Should we even try to? We talk about this very difficult and very common situation on today’s episode.

RESOURCES

FACING HEARTBREAK BY DR. STEFANIE CARNES (BOOK)

ALTOGETHER YOU BY JENNA RIEMERSMA (BOOK)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (FEMALE BETRAYAL RESOURCE)

GIVE TO PURE DESIRE

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200 - Favorites, Feedback, and the Future

Tue, 4 May 2021 04:00:00 +0000

We made it to 200 episodes! Honestly, it’s because you guys, our listeners! We would not continue recording these episodes if they weren’t helpful and encouraging on the journey to healing and freedom. To celebrate our 200th episode, we decided to mix it up. We’re looking at some of our favorites, some feedback, and what we have coming in the future. Please celebrate with us and tell us your favorite episode! Fill out this quick FORM and enter to win a free Pure Desire Podcast Mug!

RESOURCES

JOIN TEAM 58 (MONTHLY GIVERS TO PURE DESIRE)

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199 - Help! My Group Member Keeps Relapsing

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 10:00:00 +0000

The recovery process oftentimes includes relapse. This is part of the journey of breaking free from sexual brokenness. But what if we have a group member who continues to relapse over and over again? How do we handle this? How do we encourage them? Do we kick them out of group? We answer all of these questions and more on today's episode!

RESOURCES

CRASH SITE ANALYSIS (TOOL)

RELAPSE PREVENTION PLAN (TOOL)

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN FOR STRUGGLING SPOUSE (TOOL)

COVENANT TO CONTEND (TOOL)

GROUP GUIDELINES (TOOL)

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198 - Healing Your Inner Child w/ Drew Boa

Tue, 20 Apr 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Trauma and woundedness enter our lives early. The ways in which a little kid is hurt tend to show up much later in life through unwanted behaviors and emotional numbness. We often don’t view our struggles this way. But that’s why we had Drew Boa (founder of Husband Material Academy) back on the show to discuss our inner child. We talk about how to offer healing to our inner child and what the process entails.

RESOURCES

HUSBAND MATERIAL COMMUNITY APP

HUSBAND MATERIAL ACADEMY

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197 - Accountability vs. Recovery Groups

Tue, 13 Apr 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Both accountability and recovery groups are important! But they are different. And the difference is important. For example: traditional accountability groups put responsibility on the group itself; where recovery groups put the responsibility on the individual. We discuss this difference and four others on today’s episode.

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196 - Porn As A Pacifier w/ Drew Boa

Tue, 6 Apr 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Because of the wounds, trauma, and struggles in life, we often run to easy things to medicate our pain. Pornography is a great soother but ultimately leads to the destruction of life and relationships. On today’s podcast, we sat down with the founder of Husband Material Academy, Drew Boa, and talked about how porn is used as a pacifier in our lives and what it looks like to soothe ourselves in healthy ways.

RESOURCES

HUSBAND MATERIAL COMMUNITY APP

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195 - Stories Of Healing: Clint & Charity Muñoz

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 10:00:00 +0000

Clint and Charity Muñoz are thriving in marriage and ministry. But it hasn't always been that way. Sexual addiction reared its head in their marriage and brought destruction with it. But, through a trusted process and hard work, Clint and Charity are leading others into the same healing they've experienced. Today, we hear their story of healing.

RESOURCES

RESTORED 2 MORE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

RESTORED 2 MORE

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194 - Tools For Betrayal: Three Circles

Tue, 23 Mar 2021 10:00:00 +0000

A common tool on the recovery journey is the Relapse Prevention Tool (also known as the Three Circles). This tool helps with what the name suggests: relapse prevention. So, why would someone experiencing betrayal trauma use this tool? Today, we explore how this tool can help betrayed spouses.

RESOURCES

BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR WOMEN)

3 CIRCLES TOOL

FASTER SCALE TOOL

HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR MEN)

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193 - Tools For Betrayal: Recovery Action Plan

Tue, 16 Mar 2021 10:00:00 +0000

When sexual addiction enters our marriage, it often feels as if it came out of nowhere. Betrayal trauma hits us like a high-speed train, laying us flat. But do we need to stay flat on the ground? We don’t believe so. We can start to get back up with tools like the Recovery Action Plan. Today, we talk about how this tool helps create safety and puts a process in place to establish boundaries and consequences to bring about restoration in relationships.

RESOURCES

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN TOOL (BETRAYED SPOUSE)

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN TOOL (STRUGGLING SPOUSE)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR WOMEN)

HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR MEN)

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (PODCAST)

FULL DISCLOSURE (PODCAST)

FULL DISCLOSURE EVALUATION

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192 - Tools For Betrayal: Commitment To Change & Double Bind

Tue, 9 Mar 2021 11:00:00 +0000

How does a weekly commitment to change help us heal from betrayal trauma? It helps us face our double-binds (rock-and-hard-place). Today, we explore how a Commitment to Change and addressing our double-binds brings healing for betrayal trauma.

RESOURCES

COMMITMENT TO CHANGE (TOOL)

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191 - Tools For Betrayal: FASTER Scale

Tue, 2 Mar 2021 11:00:00 +0000

Betrayal trauma is very real. But healing from it isn't always clear. Self-awareness is one of the biggest steps to beginning to heal from betrayal. This week, we talk about how betrayed spouses/individuals can use the FASTER Scale (awareness tool) to bring healing into their lives.

RESOURCES

ONE-SIDED HEALING (PODCAST)

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190 - Stories Of Healing: Joe McCarthy

Tue, 23 Feb 2021 11:00:00 +0000

Joe McCarthy is a successful restaurant owner, leads Pure Desire groups, and is incredibly passionate about helping men break free of addiction and shame. But it wasn't always that way. Alcoholism and a pornography addiction plagued Joe for a large portion of his life. Starting in AA, Joe found that healing was possible. We talk to Joe about his powerful story of breaking free of sexual brokenness and how he is now leading others into the freedom they most desire.

RESOURCES

MELTZ EXTREME GRILLED CHEESE (JOE’S BUSINESS)

REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS

CELEBRATE RECOVERY

LAPSE VS. RELAPSE (PODCAST EPISODE)

PASTORAL SEX ADDICTION PROFESSIONAL CERTIFICATION (IITAP)

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189 - Domestic Abuse

Tue, 16 Feb 2021 11:00:00 +0000

Domestic abuse is not talked about enough. Abusive patterns can exist for years and even decades before we realize it’s actually abuse. These situations definitely play out in the realm of sexual addiction and brokenness. Today, we talk about how to identify domestic abuse, how to create a space to talk about it, and what we can do about it.

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188 - Same-Sex Attraction w/ John Fort

Tue, 9 Feb 2021 11:00:00 +0000

What does recovery look like if we are attracted to the same sex? Is it something we can heal from? Does it ever go away? What if our spouse is attracted to the same sex? We discuss these questions with John Fort, Director of Training for Be Broken Ministries, as he shares his story of same-sex attraction and addiction.

RESOURCES

HONEST TALK: A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX (JOHN’S BOOK)

BE BROKEN MINISTRIES

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187 - Overcoming Brokenness w/ Paul Young

podcast@puredesire.org (William Paul Young, Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo) — Tue, 2 Feb 2021 11:00:00 +0000

Healing brokenness requires facing brokenness. Paul Young is known as a #1 New York Times bestselling author, but people might not know that trauma and abuse entered Paul’s life at a very early age. Trauma then ran up against addiction, Christian paradigms, and fear of exposure. On today’s episode, Paul shares his story of brokenness and what it took to face the damage his brokenness caused.

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THE PASTOR: A CRISIS (PAUL’S NEW BOOK)

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186 - God & The LGBT Community w/ Janet Boynes

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 11:00:00 +0000

Historically, the church struggles on how to best minister to the LGBT community. Our guest today, Janet Boynes, knows this first hand. After living as a lesbian for over a decade, God called Janet out of her lifestyle and into ministry. On today's episode, Janet helps us hear God's heart for our LGBT brothers and sisters and how churches can come alongside and love on them.

RESOURCES

CALLED OUT INTERNATIONAL (JANET’S MINISTRY)

GOD & SEXUALITY: TRUTH & RELEVANCE WITHOUT COMPROMISE (JANET’S BOOK)

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185 - What If My Betrayed Spouse Doesn't Want Healing?

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 11:00:00 +0000

For a marriage to truly heal from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, both spouses need healing. We refer to it as a "family systems issue." But what if our betrayed spouse doesn't want to pursue healing? Should we continue on our own journey? Can we help them? Should we even try to? We talk about this very difficult and very common situation on today's episode.

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184 - Groups For Young Women

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 11:00:00 +0000

The rate of increasing exposure and addiction to pornography is growing rapidly in the lives of young women. Statistics say it's the fastest-growing rate among all demographics. That's a problem. What can we do? We can run Behind The Mask groups for young women. On today's episode, we discuss the content, group structure, leadership, and impact of running these groups for students/young adults in the church.

RESOURCES

BEHIND THE MASK (RESOURCE FOR YOUNG WOMEN WHO STRUGGLE)

UNRAVELED (RESOURCE FOR WOMEN WHO STRUGGLE)

MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING FOR LOCAL GROUPS (TOOL)

MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING FOR ONLINE GROUPS (TOOL)

STORIES FOR WOMEN (BOOK)

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183 - Growing Connection In Marriage

Tue, 5 Jan 2021 11:00:00 +0000

Intimacy in marriage doesn't just happen. It takes being intentional and working together to establish healthy intimacy in our relationships. That's why we created a resource to help: Connected. On today's episode, we talk through our Connected resource and how it helps couples build a bridge to the intimacy they've always wanted.

RESOURCES

CONNECTED: BUILDING A BRIDGE TO INTIMACY

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (STRUGGLING MEN)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (BETRAYED WOMEN)

UNRAVELED: MANAGING LOVE, SEX, AND RELATIONSHIPS (STRUGGLING WOMEN)

HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYED MEN)

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182 - 2020: In Review

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 29 Dec 2020 11:00:00 +0000

The year 2020 was traumatic, painful, and stressful for so many. Loss, brokenness, and disruption were felt by all. Whether it was the Coronavirus, racial injustice, fires, presidential elections, or anything in between: 2020 was packed full of difficulty. But, were there any positives to 2020? Anything we learned? Any helpful perspectives we can carry into a new year? We talk about this and more on today’s podcast.

RESOURCES

PODCAST SURVEY

COMMITMENT TO CHANGE

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181 - Present For The Holidays: Double Binds

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 11:00:00 +0000

The holidays can easily put us in those rock-and-a-hard-place situations. Our ability to manage and maneuver through these situations is tied directly to our health. On today's episode, we identify double binds that arise during the holidays, how they impact our sexual health, and the positive outcomes of handling them well.

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180 - Present For The Holidays: Managing Stress

Tue, 15 Dec 2020 11:00:00 +0000

The holidays can be stressful. There's no way around it. And stress is very connected to unwanted sexual behaviors. For that reason, managing stress during the holidays is essential to sexual health. On today's episode, we talk about stress during the holidays, how it shows up, and healthy ways to manage it.

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179 - Present For The Holidays: Relationships

Tue, 8 Dec 2020 11:00:00 +0000

The holidays, though often presented as a joyous time, actually can be a stressful time for relationships. For that reason, being present in our relationships is crucial to staying in health. Today, we talk about why relationships can be so difficult during this season, how to avoid isolation, and creative ways to invest in relationships during the holidays.

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178 - Present For The Holidays: Emotional Awareness

Tue, 1 Dec 2020 11:00:00 +0000

The holidays, though often presented as a joyous time, actually can be an extremely emotional time for so many. For that reason, being present with our emotions is crucial in maintaining health. Today, we talk about what emotional awareness is, how to get more of it, who it impacts, and why it's important in our health and recovery.

RESOURCES

FASTER SCALE (SELF-AWARENESS TOOL)

THOUGHTS/FEELINGS AWARENESS LOG

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THE TOP REASONS YOUNG PEOPLE DROP OUT OF CHURCH (BLOG)

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177 - Re-Solution w/ Ben Bennett

Tue, 24 Nov 2020 11:00:00 +0000

Are we reaching the next generations? This is a scary question to ask. But if we don’t ask, we might not get the answer. Today, it’s one of the biggest areas of ministry for followers of Jesus. How do we help the next generations live into the life God has for them? Ben Bennett, director of Resolution, joins us to talk about how we can help the younger generations of our day overcome their hurts, struggles, and learn to thrive.

RESOURCES

LIVING FREE (GROUP RESOURCE)

LIVING FREE (PODCAST)

LIVING FREE ONLINE GROUPS

JOIN A PURE DESIRE GROUP

RESOLUTIONMOVEMENT.ORG

RESOLUTION

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176 - How To Start The Conversation At Your Church

Tue, 17 Nov 2020 11:00:00 +0000

If we want to create a safe place for healing from the effects of sexual brokenness in our churches, we have to start the conversation. On today’s episode, we walk through 7 steps to starting this conversation at your church.

RESOURCES

SEXUAL INTEGRITY 101 VIDEO COURSE

DEVELOPING A PURE DESIRE MINISTRY (PDF)

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175 - Honesty vs. Disclosure

Tue, 10 Nov 2020 11:00:00 +0000

Honesty in recovery is non-negotiable. But is honesty the same thing as disclosure? On today's episode, we talk through the difference between honesty and disclosure in the recovery process.

RESOURCES

HONESTLY SPEAKING (BLOG)

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174 - Boundaries In Recovery

Tue, 3 Nov 2020 11:00:00 +0000

When addiction and betrayal are present in a relationship, boundaries will be essential to healing. But how do we know if boundaries are a legit need or excessive? How do we agree on the boundaries we need? We talk this and more on today's episode.

RESOURCES

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (ADDICT)

Tue, 13 Oct 2020 10:00:00 +0000

As we move forward in our recovery, we can run into gray areas when it comes to our patterns and habits. Our clinical director, Tyler Chinchen helps us venture into one of those gray areas: lapse vs. relapse. What is the difference? Who should know? What should we do if a lapse happens? This and more on today's episode.

RESOURCES

3 CIRCLES (RELAPSE PREVENTION TOOL) PODCAST

CRASH SITE ANALYSIS

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170 - Stories Of Healing: Rich Moore

Tue, 6 Oct 2020 10:00:00 +0000

Rich was on the verge of spending 49 years in prison–the first person in Oregon State history to be charged under Measure 11. Many decisions and experiences led him to this point, but Rich didn't spend a single day in prison. Now, 23 years later, he's been leading and running Pure Desire groups for two decades. How is this possible? Rich joins us on the podcast to share his story.

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169 - Myth Busters: Time Heals All Wounds

Tue, 29 Sep 2020 10:00:00 +0000

Many of us were taught that time heals all wounds. But, as we discuss in today's episode, that is not reality. Time doesn't heal wounds. We talk about why that is and what does actually heal our wounds.

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168 - Sexual Trauma

Tue, 22 Sep 2020 10:00:00 +0000

Something that we often hear about in the area of sexual brokenness is sexual trauma. Sadly, it’s such a common experience for so many. Today, we wanted to talk about sexual trauma, how it affects our lives, and how to find healing from it.

RESOURCES

3 CIRCLES TOOL (RELAPSE PREVENTION)

BETHESDA WORKSHOPS

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167 - Creating Safe Spaces w/ Keith Jenkins

Tue, 15 Sep 2020 14:50:56 +0000

What does it look like to create churches/communities that are safe? Keith Jenkins–a pastor, black man, and a military veteran–joins us today and helps us think through how to best process through the challenging political, racial, and divisive times we live in.

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166 - How To Talk To Your Spouse About Sex

Tue, 8 Sep 2020 11:00:00 +0000

One of the best ways to create a healthier sex life with your spouse is communication. Today, we sit down Dan and Jenn Howie to discuss why it can be so difficult to talk to your spouse about sex. We also discuss how to talk to each other and what it looks like to improve that communication.

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165 - FAQ #10

Tue, 1 Sep 2020 10:00:00 +0000

How do we discuss our struggles with our spouse? How do moms help their young sons? Is masturbation a sin? These questions and more on today's Frequently Asked Questions episode.

Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes:

Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org
Message/DM us with your questions

RESOURCES

WHAT HUSBANDS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MENOPAUSE (FOCUS ON THE FAMILY ARTICLE)

TECH ACTION PLAN

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164 - Ending Group Well

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 10:00:00 +0000

Each recovery and support group is going to end someday. But that doesn’t mean that the healing will end. How our groups come to a close can set a trajectory for forward motion in our recovery and healing. Ending the group is not only important and it is very possible.

RESOURCES

CHALLENGE COINS

GENESIS PROCESS

SUPPLEMENTAL COUNSELING (SUPPORT FOR BETRAYAL)

ONLINE GROUPS

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163 - The Soul Of Shame w/ Curt Thompson

Tue, 18 Aug 2020 11:00:00 +0000

Shame is a powerful force in the world, one that drives many of our unwanted behaviors. Today, we are joined by Dr. Curt Thompson, a psychiatrist, speaker, and author, who walks us through what shame is, how we often misunderstand it, and how it can be used to lead us to a better relationship with God and others.

RESOURCES

CURTTHOMPSONMD.COM

CURT'S WRITING:

ANATOMY OF THE SOUL

THE SOUL OF SHAME

A BODY OF WORK (BLOG)

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162 - Student Groups

Tue, 11 Aug 2020 10:00:00 +0000

If we want to see future generations live in sexual health, we have to equip them with the tools they need. Today's episode is focused on recovery groups for students. Who should lead them, how to get students interested, and the impact these groups can have in our world.

RESOURCES

TOP GUN

GROUP GUIDELINES (PODCAST)

GROUP GUIDELINES (TOOL)

MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING (TOOL)

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161 - Talking With Your Adult Kids

Tue, 4 Aug 2020 10:00:00 +0000

Today we talk with Dan and Jenn Howie about sharing their story of sexual brokenness with their adult kids. We talk about what to share, when to share, and why it's important to share with our kids, regardless of their age.

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160 - The Different Parts Of Me w/ Jenna Riemersma

Tue, 28 Jul 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Have you ever echoed the musing of the Apostle Paul, "For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do"? You're not alone! Many of us have this experience–feeling like there are different parts of us that want different things. Those feelings are not abnormal. On today's episode, we talked with Jenna Riemersma about Internal Family Systems–a revolutionary approach to understanding why we do things we don't want to do and have such a hard time doing what we want to do.

RESOURCES

ALTOGETHER YOU (JENNA’S BOOK)

JENNAREIMERSMA.COM (JENNA’S WEBSITE)

ATLANTA CENTER FOR RELATIONAL HEALING

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159 - Sexual Integrity 101

Tue, 21 Jul 2020 12:00:00 +0000

So many men, women, and churches struggle with knowing where to start in the area of unwanted sexual behavior. How do we find freedom from the struggle? How do we experience healing from betrayal? How do we help our people navigate sexual brokenness? We have the answer: our new 8-week video course, Sexual Integrity 101!

RESOURCES

GET STARTED

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Many of us keep returning to those old unwanted behaviors. Why is that? Far too many of us just focus on what not to do instead of creating a plan toward what we want to do. The 3 Circles tool helps us identify what we want to stop, guardrails to keep us from it, and the healthy habits we need for change.

Tue, 2 Jun 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Leading addiction recovery groups can be challenging. Especially when leading women through them. Women struggle with unique levels of shame and hopelessness when it comes to love, sex, and relationships. That's why we talk through how to best lead women through Unraveled Groups.

RESOURCES

EPISODE 095 – UNRAVELED: MANAGING LOVE, SEX, AND RELATIONSHIPS

EPISODE 120 – ONLINE GROUPS

UNRAVELED KIT

JOIN A GROUP

GROUP GUIDELINES

REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS

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151 - Porn Free w/ Matt Dobschuetz

Tue, 26 May 2020 12:00:00 +0000

We sat down for a mash-up episode with Matt Dobschuetz of Porn-Free Radio on today's episode. We talked about freedom, integrity, church culture, and a bunch of other random topics.

RESOURCES

PORN-FREE RADIO PODCAST

RECOVEREDMAN.COM

ONLINE RECOVERY GROUPS

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150 - Betrayed Spouse & Legal Issues

Tue, 19 May 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Sexual addiction affects more than the person struggling. Especially when there are legal ramifications. Today we ask Jenn Howie how she maneuvered through the legal issues caused by sexual addiction in her previous marriage.

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149 - Sexual Abuse Of Women In The Bible

Tue, 12 May 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Sexual abuse of women is sadly not only something that is present today, we see that it goes back even into biblical times. Our guest, Julianna Smith, a Ph.D. student researching the abuse of women in the Bible, gives us her findings while also helping us identify ways the church can push back against sexual abuse of women.

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148 - PD-L Program

Tue, 5 May 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Where can pastors go if they struggle with sexually compulsive behaviors? What options do they have to get healthy? We talk to a denomination president and a local pastor about the Pure Desire Leaders (PD-L) program and how it's helped their denomination create a safe place for their pastors to get healthy.

RESOURCES

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147 - Myth Busters: Not In My Church

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Many leaders and church-goers buy into the myth that sexual addiction doesn't impact their churches. Today, we dive into this myth and unpack why it is that we ignore the reality of sexual brokenness in our churches. We also talk through what someone can do if they see the reality when their leaders do not, and why it's so essential to have a recovery ministry for those impacted by sexual brokenness.

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146 - Groups Launch Night

Tue, 21 Apr 2020 12:00:00 +0000

As we begin Pure Desire groups in our churches and communities, it's so important how we communicate them, making it clear what purpose they serve. On today's episode, we talk about the importance of a groups launch night, what the night should look like, and what major things to avoid.

RESOURCES

MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING

LEGAL ISSUES IN GROUP (PODCAST)

LEGAL ISSUES IN GROUP (BLOG)

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145 - Stories of Healing: Dan & Jenn Howie

Tue, 14 Apr 2020 12:00:00 +0000

We sit down with Dan and Jenn Howie to hear their incredible story of healing from the pain and trauma of sexual addiction. They describe how it affected their previous marriages, how it impacted their kids, and what they've learned throughout the process of healing.

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144 - Relationships In Recovery

Tue, 7 Apr 2020 12:00:00 +0000

How do our relationships change when we begin our recovery journey? Do we share our process with everyone? No one? How do we be open and honest about our process while protecting our confidential groups? We talk all this and more on today's episode.

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143 - Getting Healthy Before Marriage w/ Drew Boa

Tue, 31 Mar 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Everyone wants a healthy marriage. And all of us, if we could, would go back and prepare ourselves better for walking into marriage. On today's episode, we talk to Drew Boa (founder of Husband Material and a licensed PSAP) about the why, the how, and the benefits of getting healthy sexually before marriage.

RESOURCES

DREWBOA.COM

For Husband Material scholarships – email Drew: DREW@HUSBANDMATERIAL.COM

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142 - Facing Your Fantasies w/ Drew Boa

Tue, 24 Mar 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Sexual fantasies are a difficult topic to dive into. Whether it's shame or the uncomfortable nature of sharing them, this is an area for many men/women that is avoided. Our guest, founder of Husband Material, author, and a PSAP, Drew Boa talks us through the power of wading into our fantasies and the health that's waiting for us on the other side.

RESOURCES

Drew’s Resources:

EPISODE 060 – AROUSAL TEMPLATE

SEXUAL FANTASY FRAMEWORK

FLOSS METHOD

Pure Desire Resources:

CRASH SITE ANALYSIS

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141 - How To Stay Healthy In World Crisis

podcast@puredesire.org (Trevor Winsor, Nick Stumbo, Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 17 Mar 2020 12:00:00 +0000

In the midst of a world crisis, it's easy to slip back into unhealthy habits and behaviors. In today's episode, we give 5 tips on how to stay healthy even in the midst of the COVID-19/Coronavirus pandemic.

RESOURCES

LEADING BETRAYAL & BEYOND GROUPS – EPISODE 079

LEADING 7 PILLARS GROUPS – EPISODE 088

LEADING CONQUER GROUPS – EPISODE 065

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SAMSON AND THE PIRATE MONKS (NATE’S BOOK)

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140 - Pirate Monks w/ Nate Larkin

Tue, 10 Mar 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Having a safe place to be open and honest about our struggles is so essential to healing in the area of our sexuality. Our guest, the founder of Samson Society and author, Nate Larkin, tells of his experience as a sex addict growing up in the church and ministry and shares how he finally found freedom.

RESOURCES

SAMSONSOCIETY.COM

I AM SECOND (NATE’S VIDEO)

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139 - Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot w/ Mo Isom

Tue, 3 Mar 2020 13:00:00 +0000

Too often in the church, pornography and sexually compulsive behaviors are viewed as just a man's issue. But our guest today, New York Times Best-Selling Author, Mo Isom, blows up that paradigm and presses into her own story and how the culture in the church around sexuality must change.

RESOURCES

SEX, JESUS, AND THE CONVERSATIONS THE CHURCH FORGOT (MO’S BOOK)

MOISOM.COM

SEX AND JESUS (VIDEO COURSE)

GET STARTED

Tue, 28 Jan 2020 15:56:07 +0000

We see that as we grow in our health, there are layers to even more freedom to be experienced. What if we feel stuck in our recovery? How do we break out of that stuckness and get to those next layers of freedom? How do we know we've reached a new layer? We talk all this on today's episode.

RESOURCES

UNRAVELED (Recovery Resource for Women)

7 PILLARS OF FREEDOM (Recovery Resource for Men)

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (Betrayal Resource for Women)

HOPE FOR MEN (Betrayal Resource for Men)

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133 - New Year, Renewed Awareness

Tue, 21 Jan 2020 15:49:52 +0000

We see that self-awareness is one of the biggest keys to growing in any area. So, with this new decade upon us, what does it look like to grow in that self-awareness? How do we find areas where we need more of it? How do we practically grow in it? And is there such a thing as "too much" self-awareness? We talk this and more!

RESOURCES

THE SOUL OF SHAME by Curt Thompson

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN

ESCAPE PLAN

Tue, 10 Dec 2019 13:00:00 +0000

What does sexual health look like? Is it sobriety? Or is it more? On today's episode, we discuss the difference between holistic health and sobriety, and how pursuing each plays out in recovery.

RESOURCES

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126 - Building a Bridge to Intimacy

Tue, 3 Dec 2019 13:00:00 +0000

"Intimacy" has become a junk-drawer term today. What does it really mean? Why is it important in relationships? And how can it be created and maintained in our relationships? We talk through these questions on today's episode!

RESOURCES

CONNECTED (Marriage Resource)

HLP EXERCISE

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125 - Myth Busters: Christians Can't Be Addicted

Tue, 26 Nov 2019 13:00:00 +0000

We know that addiction is a part of this world. But there seems to be a tension between being a Christian and also struggling with an addiction. Today we talk through why the church is afraid of the word "addiction," understanding God's power in addictions, and steps needed to break free from addiction.

RESOURCES

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124 - How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex

Tue, 19 Nov 2019 13:00:00 +0000

We have a new resource out for parents! A book simply titled, How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex. We sat down with the authors, Rodney and Traci Wright to discuss all things this book. We explore this tough topic and give a peek inside the book!

RESOURCES

HOW TO TALK WITH YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX (BOOK)

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123 - Moral Failure of Public Figures

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 12 Nov 2019 18:10:56 +0000

With the recent news of another public figure in the Christian realm admitting to destructive sexual behaviors, we find ourselves asking, "Is this going to keep happening?" On today's episode, we discuss why this seems to keep happening, how we should respond, what we should do about it, and more!

RESOURCES

GET STARTED

Tue, 22 Oct 2019 12:00:00 +0000

Pure Desire now offers a BRAND NEW way to find healing from sexual brokenness and betrayal: ONLINE GROUPS. We talk about the new online group system and format, we talk about the Certified Group Leaders who lead them, and what you can expect in a Pure Desire Online Group!

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119 - Isolation

podcast@puredesire.org (Nick Stumbo, Pure Desire Ministries, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 15 Oct 2019 12:00:00 +0000

We find that isolation is the breeding ground of shame and addiction. So, what is isolation? What does it look like? How do we know when we're isolating? If we are, how do we break out of isolation? We talk all of these things on today's episode!

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118 - FAQ #9

Tue, 8 Oct 2019 12:00:00 +0000

Is demonic possession present in sexual addiction? When do you disclose to a boyfriend/girlfriend? Are sexual aids ok in the marriage bed? How much is too much to share? These questions and more on today's #PDFAQ episode.

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Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org
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117 - Separation & Divorce

Tue, 1 Oct 2019 12:00:00 +0000

Separation and divorce are a harsh reality for some on the road to recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal. We talk through how to handle the shame, if it affects our relationship with God, maintaining sobriety throughout, and more.

RESOURCES

EPISODE 070 – STORIES OF HEALING: MIKE MAXWELL

GET STARTED

podcast@puredesire.org (Heather Kolb, Ashley Jameson, Pure Desire Ministries) — Tue, 3 Sep 2019 14:15:04 +0000

We have a surprise for you on today's episode. Two guests take over the podcast and talk through frequently asked questions from women regarding sex. This is an episode you won't want to miss!

RESOURCES

Contact Info:

Heather Kolb heatherk@puredesire.org

Ashley Jameson ashleyj@puredesire.org

SEX DURING RECOVERY – EPISODE 057

MOMS & SEX BLOG

UNRAVELED: MANAGING LOVE, SEX, AND RELATIONSHIPS

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112 - Stories of Healing: Scott & Cassie Spicer

Tue, 27 Aug 2019 20:00:39 +0000

We sat down with Scott & Cassie Spicer to hear their story of overcoming addiction and betrayal in their marriage. We discuss when they realized it was a problem, how they finally found freedom, and the impact it has made on their lives. This is a beautiful story of redemption and hope.

RESOURCES

REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS

PD-LEADERS PROGRAM

BETRAYAL & BEYOND

REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS (RGA’S)

EXPOSED by James & Teri Kraft

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Tue, 6 Aug 2019 15:04:27 +0000

Being a Pure Desire Group Leader is hard work. And because of the nature of the work, developing as a leader is a necessity. Today, Nick and Trevor talk to Ashley Jameson about what it looks like to get better as a PD Group Leader.

RESOURCES

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (TOOL)

PURE DESIRE CONFERENCE

UNWANTED (BOOK) – JAY STRINGER

RETHINKING SEXUALITY (BOOK) – DR. JULI SLATTERY

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AUTHENTIC INTIMACY WEBSITE

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108 – Sexual Discipleship w/ Dr. Juli Slattery

Tue, 30 Jul 2019 14:30:05 +0000

We talk to Dr. Juli Slattery about what she calls "Sexual Discipleship." She describes the difficulty of talking about sex in the church, how it changes the church, how sexual discipleship changes the culture, and how it all should look in the church.

RESOURCES

RETHINKING SEXUALITY (BOOK)

JULI SLATTERY ON FACEBOOK

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107 – Summer Sobriety 2

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 23 Jul 2019 14:20:29 +0000

Sobriety during the summer is oftentimes a difficult task. On today's episode, we talk through 5 tips on how to maintain healthy sexuality through the summer months.

Tue, 25 Jun 2019 13:43:23 +0000

Relapse often becomes almost a swear word in the journey to recovery. But what qualifies as a relapse? How should we view relapse on the recovery journey? Can we use relapse for future health? Should we disclose every relapse? All these questions are answered here!

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 4 Jun 2019 14:09:48 +0000

WE MADE IT TO 100 EPISODES! We spend some time chatting about the past 99 episodes, Trevor's favorites of Nick's intros, and some cool stuff Pure Desire has going for the future!

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FAVORITE EPISODES

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099 – Pastoral Failure

Tue, 28 May 2019 14:25:37 +0000

Why does pastoral moral failure happen as often as is does? Is there anything we can do about it? Will it always be this way? If it does happen, how are we to respond? Today's episode is a heavy one, but it needs to be talked about.

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098 – 5 Reasons To Get Counseling

Tue, 21 May 2019 14:25:32 +0000

"Counseling" can seem like a taboo topic in the church world. But does it need to be? What if counseling is the one thing to help break those negative habits in our lives? Today's episode we discuss 5 primary reasons to consider getting counseling on your journey to sexual integrity.

RESOURCES

What does it look like to have healthy relationships? Is true pure love possible? How should sexuality play out in my life? We spend time talking through our newest women's resource: Unraveled, and what life change women can expect to gain from it.

RESOURCES

UNRAVELED

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094 - FAQ #8

Tue, 23 Apr 2019 14:31:12 +0000

Are wet dreams sinful? How do you manage sobriety on sick days? Why don't we offer same-sex attraction groups? Do we always need group? These are only a few of the questions we address in our newest FAQ episode.

Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes:

Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org
DM/Message us

RESOURCES

SEX DURING RECOVERY (PD Podcast)

SAFE by Nick Stumbo

DIGITAL NATIVES by Bryan Roberts & Heather Kolb

MENDED (Marriage Resource)

Tue, 2 Apr 2019 14:59:18 +0000

What do we do if we are caught in our porn/sex addiction? What's the first thing we should do? How can being caught be a good thing for our recovery? These questions and more are answered in this episode.

RESOURCES

STORIES OF HEALING: ERNIE & JACKIE’S STORY

8 PILLARS TO FREEDOM

CONQUER SERIES

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STORIES OF HEALING: ERNIE & JACKIE’S STORY

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090 – I Caught My Spouse, Now What?

Tue, 26 Mar 2019 16:52:30 +0000

What do we do if we catch our spouse in a porn/sex addiction? What's the first thing we should do? What are some major pitfalls in how to respond? These are just some of the questions we address in today's episode.

RESOURCES

BETRAYAL & BEYOND (GROUP RESOURCE)

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089 - The Female Addict

Tue, 19 Mar 2019 15:53:01 +0000

Do women struggle with porn or sexual addiction? How do churches help women who do? What does recovery look like for women? How can we diminish the shame women addicts feel? We answer these questions and more in this episode.

RESOURCES

UNRAVELED

STORIES FOR WOMEN

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SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM LEADER’S GUIDE

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088 - Leading Seven Pillars

Tue, 12 Mar 2019 14:54:20 +0000

What does it take to lead men through healing from sexual addiction? What do I need in order to lead these men? What kinds of support and resources do I need to effectively lead men into sexual integrity? We answer these questions and more in today's episode.

RESOURCES

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM

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READING THE BIBLE WITH RABBI JESUS (BOOK)

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087 - SWORD Drill

Tue, 5 Mar 2019 16:51:50 +0000

We talk to our founder, Dr. Ted Roberts, about the practical bible studying tool used in our group resources–the SWORD Drill. We look at Nehemiah 8:10 and walk through how to read, experience, understand and implement practical steps from God's word.

RESOURCES

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MENDED (BOOK) BY RICK & TIFFANY BULMAN

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086 - Stories Of Healing: Rick Bulman

Tue, 26 Feb 2019 15:40:14 +0000

We talk to Rick Bulman about how he and his wife, Tiffany, walked through the darkest of times in their marriage and how God took that mess and made it their message. We talk with Rick about what gave them hope and healing, the role of counseling in their recovery, how their relationships have healed, and their new book Mended.

RESOURCES

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JOURNEY INTO THE HEART OF MAN ONLINE COURSE

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085 - Unwanted (Pt. 2)

Tue, 19 Feb 2019 15:14:09 +0000

We talk to Jay Stringer, author, and mental health counselor, about his research and book, Unwanted. We talk to Jay about what he found in his research of almost 4,000 people, how to listen to your lust, and his involvement in the Heart of Man movie.

RESOURCES

WWW.JAY-STRINGER.COM

UNWANTED (Jay’s book)

HEART OF MAN MOVIE

HEART OF MAN on Netflix

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084 - Unwanted (Pt. 1)

Tue, 12 Feb 2019 17:30:05 +0000

We talk to Jay Stringer, Mental Health Counselor and author of the new book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. We talk to Jay about his story and how he got into counseling. We also talk to him about how our sexual failures are roadmaps into our past harm, and how God views our sexuality.

RESOURCES

WWW.JAY-STRINGER.COM

UNWANTED (Jay’s book)

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083 - Genesis Process

Tue, 5 Feb 2019 18:02:14 +0000

We talk to the author of Genesis Process and creator of the FASTER Scale tool, Michael Dye. We talk to him about the history of the Genesis Process, how it works, how the FASTER Scale was created, and more.

RESOURCES

GENESIS PROCESS WORKBOOK

GENESIS PROCESS WEBSITE

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082 - FAQ #7

Tue, 29 Jan 2019 18:10:07 +0000

We talk about how much to care about other people's recovery, examples of practical healthy habits in life, if we can or should watch shows like Game of Thrones, what married couples can do after group, and so much more.

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081 - Forgiveness & Sexual Brokenness

Tue, 22 Jan 2019 17:25:06 +0000

We talk to Scott Bradley, Senior Pastor of As Is Church, about forgiveness. We define what forgiveness is, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, how forgiveness changes a family, and more.

RESOURCES

FORGIVENESS FACTOR

AS IS CHURCH

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PORN PHENOMENON (COVENANT EYES, BARNA, & JOSH MCDOWELL MINISTRIES)

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080 - Accountability Software: Covenant Eyes

Tue, 15 Jan 2019 17:00:15 +0000

We talk to Ron DeeHas, president and co-founder of Covenant Eyes, about accountability software and the role it plays in recovery from sexual addiction. Ron shares the history of Covenant Eyes, the benefits to having accountability software, and what the future holds for accountability software.

RESOURCES

NEHEMIAH MINISTRIES

COVENANT EYES EBOOKS

COVENANT EYES WEBSITE

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GROUP REFERRAL CRITERIA TOOL

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076 - Dismissing Group Members

Tue, 18 Dec 2018 17:09:26 +0000

We talk about the difficult situation of dismissing group members. We talk about when to dismiss group members, what the process looks like, what follow up looks like, what to do when you're the one being dismissed, and more.

RESOURCES

GROUP GUIDELINES TOOL

GROUP GUIDELINES PODCAST EPISODE

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075 - Thought Life

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 11 Dec 2018 15:35:19 +0000

We talk through five practices for sexual integrity in our thought life. We discuss preparing for the battle each day, practicing breath prayers, the involvement of group members, and more.

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074 - 4 Ways To Renew Your Mind

Tue, 4 Dec 2018 17:30:04 +0000

We talk about 4 ways to practically renew your mind. We talk about how often these practices should be done, where in Scripture these are supported, and encouragements as we implement them in our lives.

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073 - Help! I Don't Have My Church's Support

Tue, 27 Nov 2018 17:00:24 +0000

We talk about the situation where your church isn't supportive of Pure Desire groups. We talk through why some churches struggle seeing the need for these groups, how to best respond if this happens, what to do if you're in this situation, and much more.

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072 - FAQ #6

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 16:40:27 +0000

We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions. The questions on today's episode cover topics like how shame diminishes, what to do when a spouse isn't involved in your recovery action plan, how long it takes to get sexually healthy, if disclosure in a dating relationship is ok, and more.

Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org
Use the subject line: PD PODCAST
DM/Message us

RESOURCES

FASTER SCALE TOOL

GROUP GUIDELINE’S PODCAST EPISODE

REGIONAL GROUP ADVISORS LIST

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071 – Preaching & Purity

Tue, 13 Nov 2018 17:00:08 +0000

We talk through why preaching about sexual integrity and brokenness can be so challenging for the church. We discuss guidelines to preaching on sexual purity, what messages we inadvertently speak when avoiding the topic, how much is too much to share from the stage, and much more.

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070 – Stories Of Healing: Mike Maxwell

Tue, 6 Nov 2018 16:04:01 +0000

We hear Mike Maxwell's story of healing from his porn addiction. He talks through what was at the core of his addiction and the destruction that it left in his life. He also talks about when things finally clicked and how God has redeemed his relationships and destiny.

RESOURCES

Email Mike for a copy of his book, Purity Driven Life: mikem@puredesire.org

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069 – Legal Issues In Group

Tue, 30 Oct 2018 16:00:03 +0000

We talk about Legal Issues that arise in Pure Desire groups. We discuss how often legal issues come up, what types of issues come up, and how groups/group leaders can prepare themselves for potential issues. We also talk through do's and don'ts when handling legal issues and more.

RESOURCES

THE SILENT BATTLE by Rich Moore

STATE STATUTES

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068 – Father Wound

Tue, 23 Oct 2018 15:00:03 +0000

We talk about the Father Wound. We discuss what it is, how it compares to a Mother Wound, and how to recognize if you have a wound. We also talk through where in Scripture we see the Father Wound, how we address it, and how not to pass it on to our kids.

RESOURCES

WHEN HE’S MARRIED TO MOM by Kenneth Adams

SILENTLY SEDUCED by Kenneth Adams

ACT ON LIFE NOT ON ANGER by Georg H. Eifert, Matthew McKay, & John P. Forsyth

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067 - Sexual Health For Singles w/ Ben Bennett

Tue, 16 Oct 2018 14:18:07 +0000

We talk about sexual health for single men and women. We discuss what healthy sexuality is, the true definition of intimacy, and what it looks like to pursue sexual health as a single person. We also touch on common misconceptions of sexuality for singles.

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066 – Developing Group Leaders

Tue, 9 Oct 2018 16:30:09 +0000

We talk about the importance of developing Pure Desire group leaders. We discuss the requirements for being a group leader, what to look for in a potential leader, and things to avoid when looking for new leaders. We also talk through what developing group leaders looks like.

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CONQUER SERIES TRAINING & PROMOTIONAL VIDEOS

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065 - Leading Conquer Groups

Tue, 2 Oct 2018 16:30:59 +0000

We talk through 6 tips (and a bonus) on leading Conquer Series groups. We discuss leading by example, shaming in group, relationship with God, confidentiality, and more.

RESOURCES

CONQUER SERIES KIT

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064 - Social Media Minefield

Tue, 25 Sep 2018 16:30:09 +0000

We talk about maneuvering through the minefield of social media. We discuss how social media can be detrimental to our sexual integrity. We also talk through things to avoid, the positives of social media, and what being a healthy social media user looks like.

RESOURCES

TECH ACTION PLAN

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063 - Stories Of Healing: Patty Moreno

Tue, 18 Sep 2018 16:44:11 +0000

We hear Patty Moreno's story of healing from her husband's unfaithfulness. She talks through how God used the refuse in her life and marriage to create a renewed relationship with her husband and a restored ministry in the kingdom.

RESOURCES

FASTER SCALE TOOL

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062 – Bringing Hope & Freedom

Tue, 11 Sep 2018 16:30:06 +0000

We hear from Pure Desire's Advancement Specialist and pastor, Rodney Wright. This episode is Rodney's message titled: Bringing Hope & Freedom.

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RECOVERY ACTION PLAN (ADDICTED SPOUSE)

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061 – FAQ #5

Tue, 4 Sep 2018 16:30:06 +0000

We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions. The questions on today's episode cover topics like relapse and consequences, generationally passing addiction down, the role of Group Leaders in groups, comparing traumas, and more.

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RESOURCES

3 CIRCLES TOOL

CRASH SITE ANALYSIS

PURE DESIRE by Dr. Ted Roberts

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UNRAVELED (WOMEN’S RESOURCE REPLACING EIGHT PILLARS TO FREEDOM)

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060 – Arousal Template

Tue, 28 Aug 2018 16:07:03 +0000

We talk through the Arousal Template tool. We discuss what the tool is, the 5 steps to using it, and how it helps us create a game plan for sustained sobriety. We also talk through the length of use for this tool, who you should share it with, and more.

RESOURCES

3 CIRCLES TOOL

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM

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Tue, 17 Jul 2018 16:30:04 +0000

We talk through 6 healthy nightly routines and how they help in our overall health. We discuss device use, protecting your sleep, planning ahead, meditation, gratitude, and eating habits in regards to how they benefit our holistic health.

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3 CIRCLES TOOL (RELAPSE PREVENTION)

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053 – Creating Healthy Guardrails

Tue, 10 Jul 2018 16:30:05 +0000

We talk about creating healthy guardrails for maintaining sobriety from sexual addiction. We discuss why guardrails are important, what makes a healthy/unhealthy guardrail, and who should be involved in the creation or changing of our guardrails.

RESOURCES

VALUES LIST

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052 – 8 Tips For Launching Groups

Tue, 3 Jul 2018 17:15:05 +0000

We talk through 8 tips for launching Pure Desire groups. We discuss the importance of sharing our story, establishing expectations and standards for groups, and the culture you create in groups. We also give practical tips on how to set your groups up for health and success.

RESOURCES

GROUP GUIDELINES

MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING

PARENTAL WEB RESOURCES

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051 - When Crisis Occurs

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 16:30:04 +0000

We discuss the situation where men and women find themselves in a crisis due to sexual addiction. We talk about first steps when a crisis occurs, what things to avoid, and how to help others in crisis. We also discuss the role of group members in crisis and the resources available to anyone in crisis.

RESOURCES

FIND A PURE DESIRE GROUP

STORIES FOR MEN

STORIES FOR WOMEN

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050 - FAQ #4

Tue, 19 Jun 2018 16:30:04 +0000

We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions. The questions on today's episode cover topics like withholding sex during recovery, what is sexual health, what the healing journey from sexual addiction looks like, and more.

Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org
Use the subject line: PD PODCAST
DM/Message us

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Tue, 22 May 2018 16:30:02 +0000

We discuss maintaining sobriety during the oftentimes difficult summer months. We talk about things to avoid, helpful guardrails, and how to maintain accountability during the summer. We also discuss the opportunities that the summer months possess for finding sexual integrity.

RESOURCES

COMMITMENT TO CHANGE

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045 - Regional Group Leaders (RGL)

Tue, 15 May 2018 16:30:02 +0000

We talk to two of our Regional Group Leaders (RGL's) about the RGL volunteer position. We discuss what an RGL is, why they exist, and how they help churches with Pure Desire groups. We also talk through mistakes churches make when it comes to utilizing their RGL.

RESOURCES

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PURE DESIRE LEADERS (PDL) PROGRAM

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044 – Pastors & Porn

Tue, 8 May 2018 16:00:06 +0000

We talk about the reality of porn/sex addiction in pastoral ministry. We discuss best ways to admit there is a problem, how much pastors should share, and how a church should respond to an admission of addiction from their pastors. We also give encouragement on how to get help and how to best support your pastors in this arena.

RESOURCES

COUNSELING REQUEST FORM

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM

EIGHT PILLARS TO FREEDOM

CONQUER SERIES

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LOVE ADDICTION EVALUATION

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043 - Group Guidelines

Tue, 1 May 2018 16:30:06 +0000

We talk through Pure Desire's Group Guidelines. We talk about the importance and reasoning behind each guideline. We also discuss some misconceptions about the group guidelines and some common ways we break guidelines.

RESOURCES

GROUP GUIDELINES

MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING

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Tue, 3 Apr 2018 16:30:35 +0000

We talk about Love Addiction. We discuss how to identify if you are a love addict. We talk through why being a love addict is detrimental in life and how to address love addiction. We also give encouragements on how to find freedom from love addiction.

RESOURCES

SEXUAL ADDICTION SCREENING TEST (SAST)

COUNSELING REQUEST FORM

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN – ADDICT

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN – SPOUSE

8 PILLARS TO FREEDOM

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LOVE ADDICTION EVALUATION

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038 - Love Addiction Pt. 1

Tue, 27 Mar 2018 15:16:37 +0000

We talk about Love Addiction. We talk through how it differs from sex addiction and also discuss causes and factors that cater to a love addiction. We also talk about if it is just a women's issue, or if men can struggle with it as well.

RESOURCES

SEXUAL ADDICTION SCREENING TEST (SAST)

COUNSELING REQUEST FORM

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN – ADDICT

RECOVERY ACTION PLAN – SPOUSE

8 PILLARS TO FREEDOM

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037 - FAQ #3

Tue, 20 Mar 2018 16:07:34 +0000

We talk through more Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ). The questions on today's episode cover topics like why masturbation is harmful, how to get buy-in for starting the Conquer Series, who can struggle with love addiction, when to pursue counseling, and more.

Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org
Use the subject line: PD PODCAST
DM/Message us

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036 - Difficult Group Members

Tue, 13 Mar 2018 16:10:43 +0000

We talk about the reality and nature of having difficult group members. We discuss ways to avoid being a difficult group member and mistakes frequently made when dealing with difficult group members. We also talk through ways we've found success in handling difficult group members and what support is offered to group leaders.

RESOURCES

GROUP REFERRAL FOR COUNSELING

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Tue, 20 Feb 2018 17:36:19 +0000

We talk to Ben Bennett and Jake Kissack about being single and battling sexual addiction. We discuss ways to educate and help young people address this issue, while also unpacking ways that married couples can encourage and support single friends and what resources are available for single people stuck in addiction.

RESOURCES

BOOKS:

TOP GUN

WEBSITES:

BEGGARS DAUGHTER

BEN BENNETT’S WEBSITE

BEN’S INSTAGRAM

BLOG POSTS:

WHAT YOUR SEXUAL FANTASIES (MIGHT) SAY ABOUT YOU by Jay Stringer

SILENCE: THE SOUND OF FEMALE SEXUALSHAME by Jay Stringer

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032 - Singleness & Addiction Pt. 1

Tue, 13 Feb 2018 17:57:00 +0000

We talk to Ben Bennett and Jake Kissack about being single and battling sexual addiction. We talk through what it looks like to find sexual freedom as a single person and when it's ok to be in a relationship. We also talk about how to best reach the single demographic with the message of hope and freedom, and what resources are available for single people struggling with addiction.

RESOURCES

BOOKS:

TOP GUN

WEBSITES:

BEGGARS DAUGHTER

BEN BENNETT’S WEBSITE

BEN’S INSTAGRAM

BLOG POSTS:

WHAT YOUR SEXUAL FANTASIES (MIGHT) SAY ABOUT YOU by Jay Stringer

Ashley JamesonInternational Women’s Groups Coordinator (503) 558-2923

Rich MooreInternational Men’s Groups Coordinator (503) 489-0246

Counseling Office (503)-489-0237

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024 - Church Hurdles

Tue, 19 Dec 2017 17:42:42 +0000

We talk to Rodney Wright, pastor at Lake City Church in Idaho, about the struggles and hurdles pastors face when addressing sexual addiction in their church. We discuss what level of pastoral involvement is appropriate, why sexual addiction is a taboo topic, and why it is so important to have groups for people struggling in the church.

Tue, 21 Nov 2017 17:48:49 +0000

We talk through Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ's) that we hear at our PD-University events. The questions on today's episode cover topics like the neurochemistry of addiction, same-sex attraction, group struggles, identifying the problem in your church, etc.

Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes:

Email your question to: podcast@puredesire.org
Use the subject line: PD PODCAST
DM/Message

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019 - Starting Women's Groups

Tue, 14 Nov 2017 17:48:04 +0000

We talk to Jackie Chambers, one of our Regional Group Leaders, about starting women's Pure Desire groups at your church. We talk through what makes women's groups unique and what types of women's groups we have available. We also discuss tips and steps to follow when beginning women's groups in your church.

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018 - One-sided Healing (Betrayed Spouse)

Tue, 7 Nov 2017 17:55:29 +0000

We talk about what it looks like when a betrayed spouse sees the need for healing but their addicted spouse isn't willing to work for freedom. We give encouragement and steps for the betrayed spouse on how to begin healing, and suggest some things they should avoid when trying to initiate change in their marriage, family, and home. We also talk through available resources for betrayed spouses.

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017 - Recovery Action Plan (Safety Plan)

Tue, 31 Oct 2017 16:30:51 +0000

We talk with Ashley Jameson (International Women's Groups Coordinator) about the Recovery Action Plan (RAP) tool, previously called Safety Plan. We talk through what a RAP is and the benefits of using the tool - whether someone is struggling with addiction or someone has been affected by another's addiction. We talk about how to best use and develop a RAP and how it is a helpful tool that creates a predetermined process for recovery for anyone whether single, married, or divorced.

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016 - Tech Action Plan

Tue, 24 Oct 2017 16:59:24 +0000

We sit down with Robert Vander Meer to talk about Creating a Tech Action Plan for your devices. We talk through what an effective action plan looks like and topics it should address. We also talk through filtering programs and how to avoid finding loopholes in our safety steps.

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015 - Personal Promises

Tue, 17 Oct 2017 16:51:14 +0000

We talk about a tool known as "Personal (Prophetic) Promises." Personal Promises are used to combine a real-life experience and the truth of scripture into a powerful tool used on the road to recovery. We talk through what a personal promise is, how it should be used, and give some examples on what one should look like.

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014 - Growing A Healthy Groups Ministry

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Trevor Winsor, Nick Stumbo) — Tue, 10 Oct 2017 13:02:41 +0000

We spend time talking about how to grow a healthy Pure Desire groups ministry. We talk through what healthy and growing groups look like and how to creating a developing ministry. We also spend time talking through how to identify, train, and develop new group leaders and what role our Regional Group Leaders (RGL's) play. And we also discuss some tips to use and some practices to avoid when working to grow your Pure Desire groups.

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013 - Redeemed

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 3 Oct 2017 16:46:59 +0000

We have a special episode this week from our Executive Director, Nick Stumbo. Today's episode is Nick's message from our 2017 Men's Conference - titled "Redeemed."

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012 - Weekly Phone Calls

Tue, 26 Sep 2017 16:32:55 +0000

We talk to Bryan Roberts about weekly group phone calls. Making your weekly phone calls is a big piece to effective groups and healing. But too often, our phone calls are the first thing to go during a busy week. Bryan talks us through the importance of making your weekly phone calls and why they are a part of the healing process for men and women.

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011 - Safe

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Trevor Winsor, Nick Stumbo) — Tue, 19 Sep 2017 16:34:48 +0000

We have our co-host, Nick Stumbo, as our guest today to talk about his new book - Safe: Creating a Culture of Grace in a Climate of Shame. Nick talks us through what the message is of his new book and who it's written for. He also tells how to really get to a place where your church's culture is one of grace and not a performance-based culture.

podcast@puredesire.org (Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo, Trevor Winsor) — Tue, 11 Jul 2017 17:06:00 +0000

We talk to Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, Nick Stumbo. Nick shares about who Pure Desire is, where we come from, and where we are headed.

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