In this episode of Johnny’s On the Potty Pottycast, Johnny takes on one of the strangest bathroom anxieties of all: being afraid someone might hear you go.

From double flushing and bathroom sound anxiety to Japan’s Sound Princess, Johnny explores the lengths people will go to disguise perfectly normal bathroom habits. There are babbling brooks, tweeting birds, smart toilets, celebrity leaks, an original flushing song and, naturally, a request for Sarah Silverman to use Johnny’s toilet.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why people double flush to cover bathroom sounds
• The Japanese toilet feature known as the Sound Princess
• Why Johnny thinks America’s 1947-era toilets need an upgrade
• How TV and movies helped make normal bathroom habits feel embarrassing
• The number of times people fart every day
• Johnny Crapp performs The Flushing Song
• A reminder about Artie Farty’s upcoming Farter’s Day
• Johnny puts out the call for Sarah Silverman to join Celebrity Leaks
• Why Johnny wants to make people laugh about the completely normal things we all do behind a bathroom door

TIMESTAMPS: 

00:00 The flush heard around the world
00:30 Why people are embarrassed by bathroom sounds
01:10 Japan introduces the Sound Princess
01:45 Waterfalls, birds and the future of smart toilets
02:15 Why nobody goes to the bathroom on TV
02:45 The bathroom symphony begins
03:00 Johnny Crapp performs The Flushing Song
03:20 Artie Farty’s Farter’s Day
03:45 Celebrity Leaks and a message for Sarah Silverman
04:10 Making normal bathroom habits funny again
04:30 Until the next flush

FOLLOW JOHNNY:

Come for the bathroom humor. Stay for the songs, strange facts, real conversations, and whatever the hell happens next.

Follow Johnny’s On the Potty Pottycast and remember: when you hear the flush, you know what time it is.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

This episode opens with Johnny tackling a topic everybody thinks about but nobody talks about, settling once and for all whether it's okay to touch yourself, with a full breakdown of the actual health benefits behind it. Then things take a hard left into Wisconsin dairy country, where a listener's letter about a family fortune lost to almond trees and oat fields turns into one of the show's most unexpectedly educational rants, cow farts, blue whale milk, and a wild proposal for what to do with 15,000 cows once the milk business dries up. 

Plus: a fart joke or two, and a naming contest for the show's mascot that's been dying for a rebrand.

Self-care, sour milk, and a Wisconsin comeback story you did not see coming.

In This Episode

• The real health benefits of masturbation, no shame attached
• A listener's letter: the rise and fall of a Wisconsin dairy fortune
• Why plant-based milks are reshaping the dairy industry
• The environmental arguments dairy farmers are up against
• Some very creative (and very unlikely) pivot ideas for struggling dairy farms
• A surprising use for cow manure nobody saw coming
• Fart jokes, courtesy of Poo Poo
• A mascot naming contest — help rename the show's dung beetle

Timely Flush

Plant-based milk has been steadily eating into traditional dairy's market share for years. This episode digs into what that shift actually looks like for the farmers living it — with a few detours nobody expects.

Sound Bites

• "Everything went wrong. Our milk was in every supermarket in Wisconsin."
• "Milk comes from cows and mothers. Period."
• "Progress for the environment, Carol."

Timestamps

• 00:00 – Introduction to Masturbation as a Normal, Healthy Act
• 00:26 – The Benefits of Masturbation: Stress Relief and Endorphins
• 01:20 – Humor and Advice on Self-Stimulation
• 01:59 – A Listener's Letter: The Rise and Fall of Madison Milk
• 02:24 – The Impact of Plant-Based Milks on Traditional Dairy
• 02:53 – Environmental Concerns and the Future of Milk
• 03:23 – The Impossibility of Making Milk from Oats and Almonds
• 03:44 – The Decline of Dairy and Alternative Solutions
• 04:07 – Innovative Ideas: Hybrid Drinks and Planting Oats
• 04:23 – Why Cows Are the Original Milk Source
• 04:47 – The Uniqueness of Mammal Milk and Alternatives
• 05:16 – Progress and Plant-Based Innovations in Society
• 05:31 – Turning Misfortune into Opportunity: Mushrooms from Cow Waste
• 05:55 – Poo Poo's Fart Jokes of the Day
• 06:25 – Mascot Naming Contest and Closing Remarks

Resources & Links

🧻 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/458KNw5nXrZtqiv5xquHOB
🧻 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/johnnys-on-the-potty-pottycast/id1889610443
🧻 Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/bb0c12a8-c701-4f58-a4d4-8c801eb85f52/johnny's-on-the-potty-pottycast
🧻 iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-johnnys-on-the-potty-potty-328653061

Got a story, a question, or a name idea for our dung beetle mascot? Send it to JohnnyPottycast@gmail.com — you could win an autographed roll of toilet paper and a golden plunger.

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

This episode, Johnny brings back one of the show's potty pop stars for a brand new hot sauce anthem, "Oh No Burrito", a song about mystery meat, questionable decisions, and consequences that hit exactly where you'd expect. From there Johnny heads straight to Bob's Big Bad Burrito Food Truck talk before pivoting into the real headline: robot potties. Fully autonomous, self-cleaning, no-toilet-paper-required bathroom bots that come when called and Johnny's got thoughts on exactly who's spending five figures to get one. 

Spoiler: it's not who you'd guess, until you hear the reasoning, and then it makes way too much sense.

Toilet paper might be obsolete. Midnight bathroom trips might be a thing of the past. And gamers might be the ones leading the charge.

In This Episode

• A brand new hot sauce anthem: "Oh No Burrito"
• Burrito bounceback and Bob's Big Bad Burrito Food Truck
• Autonomous, self-cleaning robot potties explained
• The real reason gamers are buying $13,000 toilets
• What these bots can do that your current toilet can't
• A teaser for next episode's hot sauce showdown

Timely Flush

Smart home tech has crept into every corner of the house — the bathroom was always next. This episode digs into just how far "smart" goes once it's aimed squarely at the toilet.

Sound Bites

• "It's time for Johnny's on the potty potty cast"
• "The robots are here and they're coming to your bathroom"
• "No shit, the robot potty is a game changer"

Timestamps

• 00:00 – Introduction to Johnny's on the Potty Pottycast
• 00:43 – New Song: "No Burrito"
• 01:13 – The Song Continues: Mystery Meat and Bathroom Confessions
• 02:12 – Burrito Bounceback and Food Truck Plans
• 02:42 – Introduction to Robot Potties
• 03:11 – How Autonomous Toilets Work
• 04:10 – The Cost and Who's Really Buying These
• 05:04 – Gamers, Scholarships, and the Cultural Shift
• 05:34 – Closing Remarks and Next Episode Teaser

Resources & Links

🧻 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/458KNw5nXrZtqiv5xquHOB
🧻 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/johnnys-on-the-potty-pottycast/id1889610443
🧻 Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/bb0c12a8-c701-4f58-a4d4-8c801eb85f52/johnny's-on-the-potty-pottycast
🧻 iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-johnnys-on-the-potty-potty-328653061

Got a story, a bathroom confession, or a burrito recommendation? Send it to JohnnyPottycast@gmail.com — we might feature it on the show.

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

In this episode, Johnny dives into America's obsession with ranch dressing and why it's become a cultural icon for World Cup visitors experiencing the U.S. for the first time. He also covers the history of Hidden Valley Ranch, including an alternate brand name that almost made it to market, plus a few myths that have followed the sauce for years. The episode wraps with a shorter look at Japan's bathroom sound technology and how it compares to American attitudes toward privacy.

In This Episode:

• Why ranch dressing has become a favorite among World Cup visitors
• The history of Hidden Valley Ranch, including its almost-name
• Common myths about ranch dressing
• An original song about ranch dressing and the World Cup by Johnny Crap
• A look at Japan's bathroom sound innovations
• Cultural differences in attitudes toward bodily functions
• The push for smart, sound-enabled toilets in America

Timely Flush:
With international visitors flooding the U.S. for the World Cup, ranch dressing is having a moment as an unofficial taste of America. This episode explores how a salad dressing became a cultural touchstone for global visitors, complete with an original song, plus a quick detour into Japan's approach to bathroom privacy technology.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction to American cultural quirks
00:28 – The rise of ranch dressing as a cultural icon
01:27 – Ranch dressing's role in World Cup visitors' perceptions
02:26 – Myths about ranch dressing
03:36 – Original ranch dressing song by Johnny Crap
05:05 – Bathroom sounds and privacy innovations in Japan
07:24 – The future of bathroom sound technology
08:22 – Closing thoughts

Resources & Links:
🧻 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/458KNw5nXrZtqiv5xquHOB
🧻 Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/johnnys-on-the-potty-pottycast/id1889610443
🧻 Listen on Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/bb0c12a8-c701-4f58-a4d4-8c801eb85f52/johnny's-on-the-potty-pottycast
🧻 Listen on iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-johnnys-on-the-potty-potty-328653061

Have a story or topic you'd like us to cover? Send it to JohnnyPottycast@gmail.com.

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

Johnny's going solo this episode and diving deep (too deep) into the Navy's most expensive bathroom disaster. Turns out the most advanced aircraft carrier on the planet has a sewage system that can't handle sailors doing what sailors gotta do. We're talking undersized pipes, pipe bursts, and a fix so absurd the Navy might as well have just handed out diapers.

From six-figure pipe cleaner budgets to sailors getting put on a literal liquid diet just so the toilets can keep up, this episode proves that no amount of taxpayer money can out-engineer basic plumbing. Johnny breaks down how a ship built to project American power abroad can't project anything through its own pipes.

In This Episode:

• The USS Gerald R. Ford's $13 billion sewage system meltdown
• Why the Navy's pipes are too small for the sailors using them
• The hundreds of thousands spent on pipe cleaners (yes, really)
• Pipe bursts, overflow chaos, and a sailor overboard incident
• The Navy's "solution": a liquid diet for the crew
• Design flaws, poor testing, and what happens when nobody flushes out the plan first

Timely Flush:
Even the most expensive military hardware in the world can get taken down by something as basic as bad plumbing. Johnny breaks down how resource misallocation and rushed engineering turned a flagship carrier into a floating cautionary tale and why testing your toilets before deployment should really go without saying.

Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to the USS Gerald R. Ford's Toilet Problems
02:16 Financial Waste on Pipe Cleaners and Morale Issues
03:14 Pipe Bursts and Sailor Overboard Incidents
03:44 Navy's Solution: Liquid Diet and Absurdity
04:09 Humorous Jokes and Lighthearted Ending
04:37 Call for Listener Submissions and Closing Remarks

Resources:
Got a story about government waste, engineering fails, or plumbing disasters of your own? Send it to us, you might just hear it on the next episode: JohnnyPottycast@gmail.com

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.
 

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

This week, Johnny trades his potty throne for a microphone and gets real, literally. We're talking a full parody of "Lodi" meets bathroom ballad, complete with all the heartbreak, regret, and toilet-based existential dread a man can muster. And then things get weird. Harry Osborne walks in with a confession that'll make you question your entire understanding of what constitutes an emergency bathroom situation.

Spoiler: he used a cat's litter box. Yes. A cat's litter box. Not once. Multiple times. The guilt is real. The shame is real. The penance? Well, that's where Johnny and the Absolution Solution come in to turn one man's catastrophic cat litter bathroom disaster into comedy gold.

It's embarrassing. It's relatable. It's proof that no bathroom mishap is too weird or too awkward for Johnny's potty throne.

In This Episode:

• "I got the toilet blues for you"—a blues ballad about bathroom heartbreak
• The full parody song cycle: heartbreak, regret, toilet bowl blues, and false hope
• Introduction to Harry Osborne and his catastrophic confession
• "I did it in a cat's litter box"—the confession that changes everything
• The psychological breakdown of why someone uses a cat's litter box (spoiler: desperation)
• Reflections on habit and guilt: how a one-time emergency becomes a pattern
• The humor in confession: why laughing at yourself is the best medicine
• Penance and absolution: what Johnny's Absolution Solution can do for you
• Why sharing embarrassing bathroom stories creates real human connection
• The importance of humor in turning shame into laughter
• "You have a catastrophic problem"—and how to fix it with a smile

Timely Flush: According to psychological research, humor is one of the most effective coping mechanisms for shame and embarrassment. Which means Harry Osborne is about to feel a lot better after this episode. Also, cat ownership rates are at an all-time high, which means there are probably more cat litter box bathroom emergencies out there than anyone's willing to admit.

Chapters:

• 00:00 – Introduction and Podcast Theme
• 00:20 – Lodi's Barroom Ballad: The Toilet Blues
• 01:02 – Singing About Heartbreak and Toilet Blues
• 01:22 – Memories Flushing Back
• 01:36 – Humorous Song About Being a Bummer
• 01:49 – Singing About the Toilet Bowl Blue
• 02:12 – The Toilet Blues Continue
• 02:28 – Hope for Return and Toilet Blues
• 03:04 – Heartbreak and Toilet Blues Again
• 03:23 – Closing the Song Segment
• 04:09 – Introduction to Bathroom Embarrassment Story
• 04:39 – Harry Osborne's Bathroom Mishap in a Cat's Litter Box
• 05:02 – Confession of Using a Cat's Litter Box
• 05:34 – Reflections on Habit and Guilt
• 06:02 – Penance and Humor in Confession
• 06:32 – Penance Suggestions and Humor
• 06:57 – Closing Remarks and Follow-up

Resources & Confessions:

• ABSOLUTION SOLUTION: Got a bathroom confession? Need penance? Email JohnnyPottycast@gmail.com. Johnny's here to absolve your sins and turn your shame into comedy
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/johnnyonthepotty/

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

Warning: This episode contains discussions of elephant dung, celebrity bathroom mishaps, and the kind of health advice that'll actually make you comfortable talking to your doctor. We're blending high-end bathroom luxury with real medical conversations, and somehow it all makes sense.

This week, Johnny's diving into the world's most questionable coffee, Black Ivory Coffee, which is literally made from beans that have passed through an elephant's digestive system. Yes, you read that right. Elephants eat coffee cherries, digest them, poop them out, and then someone collects that poop and charges you $500 a cup. It's absurd, it's luxurious, and it's absolutely happening.

But we're not just here to talk about fancy elephant feces. Johnny's also introducing the Celebrity Leaks contest (because let's be honest, famous people have bathroom emergencies too), revealing the mind-bending features of a $10,000 smart potty, and bringing in real doctor advice about women's health because apparently, men need permission to ask their partners about their bodies. Plus, there's a joke about a brown and sticky stick that'll either make you groan or laugh. Probably both.

In This Episode:

• The amusing science of toilet sounds and why the flush is in F flat (it's intentional, people)
• Real doctor advice on discussing women's health naturally—because awkwardness shouldn't be a barrier
• How men can actually support women's health by asking questions with genuine care
• The Celebrity Leaks contest: submit your celebrity bathroom mishap stories for a chance to win a gold plunger
• Black Ivory Coffee: the luxury coffee made from elephant poop and costing $500 a cup
• The actual job of "coffee bean shitter" and what it's like in Thailand
• Why someone decided this was a good idea (spoiler: money)
• The $10,000 smart potty: heated seat, bidet, air-drying, and personal comfort features that'll change your life
• Johnny's bathroom-based contest with QR codes in public spaces (the viral toilet tour begins)
• A joke about a brown and sticky stick that's either brilliant or terrible (you decide)
• Sneak peeks at upcoming episodes: flushing bad bosses and the Absolution Solution for your sins

Timely Flush: Black Ivory Coffee is produced by only about 300 elephants in Thailand, making it rarer than most luxury goods. Meanwhile, the global smart toilet market is exploding, with the wellness bathroom segment growing at 23% annually. We're living in a world where you can drink elephant poop coffee while sitting on a throne that knows your temperature preferences. What a time to be alive.

Chapters:

• 00:00 – Introduction to Johnny's Potty Podcast and the Flushing Sound in F Flat
• 00:29 – Advice from Dr. R on Discussing Women's Health Naturally
• 00:57 – How Men Can Support Women by Asking About Health Issues with Care
• 01:27 – Celebrity Leaks Contest Details and How to Participate
• 02:26 – The Bizarre Story of Black Ivory Coffee
• 03:54 – The Job of Coffee Bean Shitter and Thai Coffee from Elephant Dung
• 04:24 – The Luxury Features of Johnny's $10,000 Smart Potty
• 04:53 – Announcement of Johnny's Potty Contest with QR Codes
• 05:23 – Johnny's Joke About a Brown and Sticky Stick and Episode Teasers
• 05:50 – Closing Thoughts and Social Media Follow Encouragement

Resources & Contest Info:

• CELEBRITY LEAKS CONTEST: Email your guesses to JohnnyPodycast@gmail.com — Match the celebrity urine sound to the urinator and win a golden plunger + autographed roll of toilet paper
• Black Ivory Coffee - https://blackivorycoffee.com/

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

Connect with Johnny:

• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/johnnyonthepotty/

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

Ever wondered why airline bathrooms feel like they were designed by someone who hates humanity? Wonder no more. This week, Johnny takes flight into the wild world of airplane toilet design, where your only options are "squeeze in awkwardly" or "hold it for six hours." Spoiler alert: neither is great for your urinary tract.

But this episode isn't just about laughing at your misery (though we do plenty of that). Johnny's teaming up with health facts, bacteria science, and some genuinely helpful advice to explain why flying is basically a petri dish with wings. From the E. coli lurking in airline water to the nasty bacteria with hooks and bulging bodies that cause infections, this is the episode that'll make you think twice before touching anything on a plane.

And because we can't resist a good pun opportunity, we're also diving into the future of bathroom technology, smart toilets that'll clean you, warm you, and even dry you with UV light. It's like flying first class for your rear end.

In This Episode:

• Airplane bathrooms are only 22.4 inches wide, smaller than your dishwasher and twice as terrifying
• The physics of pooping at 35,000 feet (spoiler: it's not ideal)
• Why airline water is basically a science experiment gone wrong
• E. coli, bacteria with hooks, and other horrors lurking in airline food and water
• Understanding urinary infections: what bad bacteria actually look like (bulging bodies and all)
• Why "Never wash your hands on the airline" is actually solid advice
• How urinary infections develop and why prompt treatment matters
• Smart toilet innovations: cleaning, warming, UV drying, and the future of bathroom tech
• Celebrity leaks and potty humor: because sometimes famous people have bathroom crises too
• Using humor to discuss serious health topics without the ick factor

Timely Flush: According to the FAA, airplane lavatories are serviced approximately every 2-3 hours, but the water stored in planes can harbor bacteria including E. coli. Meanwhile, smart toilet technology is advancing faster than airline bathroom design—which isn't saying much. If you're flying soon, maybe spring for that aisle seat and start practicing your meditation techniques.

Chapters:

• 00:00 – The Challenges of Airplane Bathrooms
• 02:54 – Understanding Urinary Infections
• 05:47 – Celebrity Leaks and Potty Humor

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

The World Cup is coming to NYC, and the city that never sleeps is about to become the city that can't pee. While FIFA's busy counting their billions, New York's scrambling to figure out where millions of soccer fans are supposed to answer nature's call. Spoiler alert: there aren't enough public toilets, and Johnny's got some ideas that are equal parts brilliant and borderline criminal.

This week, Johnny tackles the biggest crap crisis since Montezuma's Revenge, literally. We're talking bathroom shortages, entrepreneurial opportunities (rent out your toilet for $50 a flush, anyone?), and the kind of social commentary that only makes sense when you're sitting on the throne contemplating humanity's failures.

But wait, there's more! The Absolution Solution returns with listener confessions that'll make you feel better about your own questionable life choices. Love, AI, dead butterflies, and guilt. We've got it all. It's part social commentary, part confession booth, all bathroom.

In This Episode:

• The World Cup bathroom apocalypse: when millions need to go and nowhere to go
• NYC's public toilet deficit and why it's about to get really messy
• Johnny's satirical business plan: monetizing your home bathroom during the World Cup
• How to profit from portable toilets (legally... mostly)
• The Absolution Solution: Love and AI (yes, someone fell for a chatbot)
• Seeking Forgiveness: A Butterfly's Fate (RIP little guy, it was an accident)
• Why bathroom access is a human rights issue disguised as a punchline
• Listener stories about morality, guilt, and making peace with your mistakes
• "Johnny on the potty to the rescue" with solutions to NYC's porcelain problem

Timely Flush: With the 2026 FIFA World Cup bringing an estimated 3.5 million visitors to NYC and the city currently offering approximately 1 public toilet per 8,000 residents, this episode couldn't be more relevant. The crisis is real, people. The solutions? Well, Johnny's got some ideas.

Chapters:

• 00:00 – World Cup and Public Toilets in NYC
• 04:19 – Absolution Solution: Love and AI
• 06:44 – Seeking Forgiveness: A Butterfly's Fate
• 07:14 – Upcoming Segments and Shitty Topics

Resources:

• Johnny's on the Potty Podcast - https://example.com/johnnys-on-the-potty
• New York City Official Toilet Plan - https://nyc.gov/toilets
• Smart Toilet Technologies - https://smarttoilets.com

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

You thought this was just another bathroom humor podcast? Wrong. This week, Johnny brings hip-hop to the bathroom with none other than 2Ply The Soft Rapper, the MC who keeps it real, keeps it clean (well, kind of), and spits verses that'll make you laugh, cry, and question every lie you've ever told.

2Ply isn't your average MC. While other rappers brag about cash and cars, this guy's out here preaching honesty, parenting wisdom, and the importance of checking on your loved ones' health. He's soft on skin but hard on the mic, gentle with his loved ones but ruthless with the truth. It's like if Kendrick Lamar did a TED Talk on a toilet, and honestly? We're here for it.

From "Your lives are flushed" to his heartfelt plea to "Please help me be a civilian again," 2Ply The Rapper brings raw authenticity to Johnny's porcelain stage. This episode proves that sometimes the realest conversations happen in the bathroom, and sometimes the best life advice comes wrapped in bathroom humor and sick beats.

In This Episode:

• 2Ply: "I'm the guy, the one they call 2Ply"
• The Absolution Solution: flushing away sins, one honest bar at a time
• Hip-hop meets bathroom wisdom in the most unexpected collaboration
• Tales of Truth and Lies: why 2Ply keeps it 100, even when it's messy
• Parenting bars that hit harder than a double-ply wipe
• The real meaning behind "Your lives are flushed" (spoiler: it's deeper than you think)
• 2Ply's plea: "Please help me be a civilian again" and what it means to stay authentic
• Why caring for your loved ones' health is the realest flex
• How humor and hip-hop help us process life's crappiest moments

Timely Flush: In an era where authenticity is currency and everyone's faking it 'til they make it, 2Ply proves that keeping it real, even from the bathroom, is the ultimate power move. Soft on skin, hard on the mic, and always 100% honest.

Chapters:

• 00:00 – Introduction to Johnny's PottyCast 
• 00:51 – Crapper Credo by 2Ply
• 02:16 – The Absolution Solution: Flushing Sins
• 04:24 – Tales of Truth and Lies
• 10:44 – Upcoming Segments and Conclusion

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

You think you know toilets? Think again. While you've been doing your business the old-fashioned way like some kind of caveman, there's a whole world of $10,000 smart toilets out there that'll heat your seat, play you music, analyze your... output... and probably judge you for that late-night Taco Bell run.

This week, Johnny parks himself on the porcelain throne for a solo session that'll blow your mind (and possibly other things). We're talking smart toilets that do everything except your taxes, bizarre bathroom statistics that'll make you question your entire existence, and workplace bathroom anxiety that's more real than you think.

Did you know you'll poop 26,000 pounds in your lifetime? That's roughly the weight of three elephants. Speaking of elephants, stick around 'til the end because we're teasing something big involving elephant coffee and some very special co-hosts named PP and Poo Poo.

In This Episode:

• The $10,000 smart toilet that's smarter than your phone (and more judgmental)
• The Great Goldfish Flush: RIP Nemo, we hardly knew ye
• Why dining on the potty is more common than you think (and why Johnny doesn't judge)
• Workplace bathroom anxiety: the struggle is real, folks
• The world record for longest time spent on the toilet (spoiler: it's longer than your last Netflix binge)
• Diarrhea as a legitimate getaway weapon (yes, really)
• Meet PP and Poo Poo: your new favorite co-hosts (coming soon)
• The staggering 26,000-pound truth about your lifetime bathroom output

Timely Flush: Smart toilet sales have surged 347% in the past year, with the average American now spending 23 minutes per bathroom visit on their phone. If you're going to spend that much time in there anyway, might as well have a seat that heats itself, right?

Chapters:

• 00:00 – Welcome to the Pottycast!
• 02:54 – The Great Goldfish Flush
• 05:11 – Dining on the Potty
• 06:56 – Workplace Bathroom Anxiety
• 09:24 – Record-Breaking Potty Time
• 10:47 – Diarrhea as a Getaway Weapon

Resources:

• Guinness World Records - Longest Potty Sit - https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/records/longest-time-spent-on-the-toilet
• MIT Human Waste Project - https://web.mit.edu/humanwaste
• NASA Space Toilet Development - https://www.nasa.gov/spacetoilet

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

You couldn't make this stuff up. While the rest of the world was watching NASA's Artemis II crew make history with the first woman around the moon, a record-breaking 252,756 miles from Earth, including a solar eclipse, Johnny was asking the real question nobody else had the guts to ask: what happens when an astronaut has to go?

And as it turns out, the Artemis II toilet actually acted up mid-mission. Yes, really. You can't flush this stuff.

This week Johnny takes a leak on the biggest space story of the year with a deep dive into cosmic bathroom chaos. Think burritos in zero gravity, clogged space toilets, and the heroics of Christina Koch, who didn't just make history as the first woman to orbit the Moon. She's also Johnny's pick for the first astronaut plumber. Six plungers. Several coat hangers. She got the job done.

In This Episode:

• Why you should never eat a burrito before a rocket launch (we warned you)
• The real-life Artemis II toilet malfunction that had Houston scrambling
• Johnny's dramatized mission control meltdown — "Houston, we have a potty problem"
• Montezuma's Revenge... in space (they're calling it Moon-tezuma's Revenge)
• What astronaut diapers are actually designed to handle — and what they're not
• Why sending a licensed plumber to space takes 11 days, and it's a union job
• The fart flap. Yes, the fart flap.
• A tease of what's coming: elephant coffee, real doctors, and your co-hosts PP and Poo Poo

Timely Flush: Christina Koch and the Artemis II crew splashed down in the Pacific Ocean on April 10th just days before this episode dropped. She's back on Earth, reunited with her dog Sadie, and probably never eating a burrito again.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – The flush heard 'round the world: intro
• 00:11 – Burritos in space: a cautionary tale
• 00:40 – Christina Koch: astronaut, trailblazer, plumber
• 01:09 – Houston, we have a potty problem (the dramatization)
• 01:39 – Diaper science and space food digestion
• 02:08 – Union rules, licensed plumbers, and 11-day shipping to the moon
• 02:39 – Moon-tezuma's Revenge and the burrito ingredients
• 03:07 – The fart flap: a technical breakthrough
• 03:36 – Everything came out alright
• 04:06 – Coming up: elephant coffee, real doctors & meet PP and Poo Poo

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

Music for this episode is “Blauen Donau” (The Blue Danube) by Johann Strauss Jr., performed by European Archive. Source: Musopen.org. Licensed under CC BY.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!

You'll be shitting, laughing & learning about what's really going on down there. You'll hear from real doctors and my two French co-hosts, PP and Poo Poo. You'll hear celebrities come by and take a leak on my $10,000 smart potty—it's smarter than that octopus that can roll cigars. You'll hear the crazy stories men make up just to poop at work.

Open your bathroom door, because we've been missing out on a lot of funny shit.

Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.

EPISODE CREDITS:

Creator and Host, Johnny La Rock

Brand Architect, Marta La Rock, Ph.D.

Executive Producer, Erin Sweeney

Audio Engineer, George Gross

Agency, Deybruyar

Music licensed through Artlist

String Quartet No. 19 in C Major, K. 465 (‘Dissonance’)” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Performed by Musopen. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

LINKS:

Be sure to send us topic request at johnnypottycast@gmail.com!