Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Connect with Monica Alanna 
Instagram: 
@rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling)
@magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing)
www.magicksalt.com

In this episode, Monica interviews me about what it’s really like to live and work online as a creative & mentor. We talk about our digital duplicates, attention fatigue, curating our algorithms with intention, the tension between analog life vs. digital life, what it means to be authentic on social media, and how I think about creativity, boundaries, and running Gracepilled as a business. It’s an honest look at identity, influence, and staying human on the internet.

• Digital duplicates & online identity — how the internet forms a version of us, how others perceive that version, and how it affects real life.
• Attention, distraction & notification fatigue — the constant pull of screens, digital audits, and reclaiming focus.
• Analog vs. digital media — the sensory and emotional differences between reading physical books, using Kindles, and engaging offline.
• Creativity, authenticity & running an online business — how I create content, use data, navigate the algorithm, and balance privacy with visibility.
• Influence, boundaries & staying grounded online — curating your algorithm, resisting comparison culture, and choosing how you want to show up on the internet.

Connect with Monica Alanna 
Instagram: 
@rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling)
@magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing)
www.magicksalt.com

Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend & colleague Monica Alanna about the strange and complicated world of digital spaces. We personify the platforms we use every day—Instagram, TikTok, Reddit, YouTube—as if they were people, each with their own archetype and flavor.

We explore how these apps shape culture, attention, and even our sense of self, from the pull we all experience of wanting to peek at the comment section arguments to the addictive, casino-like design of social media apps that keep us emotionally hooked.

Along the way, we talk about digital “duplicates,” cancel culture, distraction, and what it takes to build real boundaries with screens. It’s funny, it’s sharp, and it gets into the gray areas of how technology can be both a tool and a trap.

I think you’ll leave this one reflecting on your own relationship with social media—and maybe even laughing about it too.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

In this episode of GRACEPILLED, I sit down with poet, philosopher, and teacher Ramon Parish (a.k.a. Uriel Jones), whose journey weaves together stargazing, philosophy, poetry, and spiritual practice. Ramon recently released his first poetry collection Drama of the Planets, and in this conversation, he shares the stories, influences, and practices that shaped both his art and his spiritual path.

We talk about:

• How Ramon’s early stargazing experiences sparked a lifelong sense of spiritual purpose
• Why he sees philosophy and poetry as core spiritual practices
• The influence of Rastafari, music, and mythology on his worldview
• The role of movement, meditation, and community in his spiritual growth
• Balancing tradition with adaptation in spirituality, and why conduct and justice matter just as much as consciousness

Today’s guest is Reverend Cindy Pincus—minister, death doula, and someone who I now consider a spiritual comrade. We originally met at a First Friday art market in Denver when she walked straight up to my table and picked up my “Money + the Spiritual Path” zine. I remember thinking, this person has sparkles around them. And I was right.

In this conversation, Cindy shares the wild, beautiful, and unexpected path that’s led her through Christian seminary, Indigenous ceremony, psychic training, and years of hospice and hospital chaplaincy. She speaks with rare clarity about death, grief, ministry, and spiritual courage—and about the surprising places her deepest convictions came from. (Spoiler: one involved a protest, a votive candle, and a head injury.)

There were a few things said in this interview that blew my mind — I hope you love it!

We cover:

• Cindy’s surprising journey from culturally Jewish roots to Christian ministry
• What it means to have a conversion experience in the modern world
• Her years working with death—hospitals, hospice, and the spiritual wisdom of the dying
• Why she believes Jesus was psychic (and probably a witch)
• The beauty and power of not looking away from grief, endings, and the collapse of empire

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Today I’m joined by writer, poet, and internet oracle Aiden Arata. You might know her from her dreamy, timely memes, her prose that cuts through the screen of your phone, or her completely surreal yet relatable guided meditation reels on instagram. Aiden’s new book of essays, YOU HAVE A NEW MEMORY, came out just two days ago—and I haven’t read it yet, but I can’t wait to. I can only imagine that it will feel like a voice memo from a highly perceptive friend, sent from the edge of a spiritual breakthrough that happened alongside the produce rack at the grocery store.

In this conversation, we talk about the dread that surrounds creative work, the porousness required for both art and intuition, and what happens when you accidentally end up at a 14-hour-a-day solitary retreat in France. We also get into spiritual hysteria, memes as mystical artifacts, and the healing power of finally feeling seen.

This one’s funny, strange, and full of surprisingly delicious nuggets of gold. I hope you love it.

we cover:
– the dread that creeps in around creative work, especially writing, and how the language of the internet (short, catchy, algorithm-friendly) can distort your voice and make deep work feel impossible
– the porousness required for both creativity and spirituality—and how curating your sense impressions can be a way of clearing space for awe, intuition, and your own mind to come back online
– the shift from trying to use spirituality to fix yourself, to actually having a relationship with yourself—and how that changed everything (with the help of therapy, trauma work, and a more compassionate view of mental health)
– Catholic roots, spiritual hysteria, gold + gore aesthetics, and the unexpected joy of accidentally ending up in a 14-hour-a-day silent monastery retreat in France
– what the internet can be (divine connection through memes, shared humanity), and also what it is becoming (a pipeline for paranoia, commodified enlightenment, and people falling in love with chatbots)

Connect with me, Hanna, your host:
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

In this episode, I talk with Diana Rose about what it means to truly human. We start with a beautiful story she shares about choosing connection instead of isolation while navigating complex grief, and how that reflects the deeper healing work she’s done—work that’s allowed her to stay in relationship, even when things are hard. We also talk about the dream of village life and what it means to be supported by a web of people who are in mutual care with one another. Diana shares how her spiritual worldview formed outside of formal tradition, what led her to astrology, and how she uses it as a tool to help people release internalized “shoulds” and understand their own nature with more compassion.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled

We cover:

• The emotional and existential challenges of running a spiritual business, including the unexpected inner work around self-worth, shame, and the discomfort of marketing one's offerings with integrity.
• Authenticity in leadership and marketing, especially the importance of being your full self (including humor, messiness, and vulnerability) in your public presence so clients meet the real you—not just a shiny persona.
• The delicate dance of sharing personal process online, exploring how to discern when something is "cooked" enough to serve others, versus when it’s still raw and may unconsciously ask your audience to hold you.
• Projections, pedestals, and the myth of the perfect spiritual guide, including how to recognize golden shadow and navigate others’ expectations without fragmenting your identity or hiding your humanity.
• The spiritual necessity of creative expression, especially in the digital age—seeing Instagram and social media as modern landfills where we can still perform sacred service, wake people up, and keep the river of spirit flowing through us.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

In this episode of Gracepilled, I sit down with interdisciplinary artist and author Yumi Sakugawa (she/they) to trace the spiraling, unexpected path of her spiritual life—from childhood flashes of psychic imagery and goth teenage atheism to meditation, soul retrieval, and ancestral reclamation.

Yumi is the author of beloved illustrated books like There Is No Right Way to Meditate and Your Illustrated Guide to Becoming One with the Universe. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, The Believer, and exhibitions at the Smithsonian and the Japanese American National Museum. But today we go beyond Yumi’s amazing career accomplishments and explore their inner world.

We talk about a recent health scare that became a surprisingly spiritual wake-up call, and how discipline, fueled by the powers of Virgo, interacts with creative ritual. We talk about their dark night of the soul experience teaching english in Japan, finding meditation through Eckhart Tolle and David Lynch, and how grief led her deeper into ancestral connection with her Okinawan roots. Yumi also shares the story of a traumatic ayahuasca ceremony—something she’s never spoken about publicly before—and the long, slow, embodied healing that followed. And, full disclosure, in telling this story and discussing it, neither of us are suggesting there is anything wrong with plant medicine or ayahuasca, we are simply exploring what that was like, and some potential aspects of modern Ayahuasca usage that aren’t so commonly discussed.

We cover: 

• Spiritual emergence through crisis: Yumi shares how a painful post-college experience teaching abroad in Japan led them to meditation, marking the beginning of their spiritual path.
• Creative discipline as ritual: She talks about her workshop “Discipline is Pleasure” and how creative practice, health routines, and spirituality all benefit from intentional containers of time and attention.
• Lineage, colonization, and ancestral reclamation: They reflect on visiting their paternal homeland of Okinawa and how it catalyzed a deeper connection to their ancestral roots and the region’s spiritual and political history.
• Ayahuasca, trauma, and healing: Yumi opens up—publicly for the first time—about a devastating ayahuasca experience, soul fragmentation, and the long arc of recovery supported by their community and energetic healing.
• Art, intuition, and the evolution of purpose: She reflects on how her creative journey has shifted from needing to prove herself to trusting intuition, play, and her unique voice.

Connect with John, our guest: 
Instagram: @saint_rainey
His book: Finding God, Losing God, Becoming God
His podcast: House of Saint Rainey

Today, I’m joined by John Rainey—author, seeker, and explorer of unity consciousness. Once a devoted Christian, working as a youth pastor, his search for deeper truth led him beyond the walls of his religion and into the wild, uncharted expanse of direct experience of the divine. His journey to me is the perfect example of how deep questioning can lead someone to the truth — a potent question he asked himself one day changed the course of his life. But I’ll save that story for the interview. Let’s get into it.

Aidan Wachter is a self-described “mongrel animist” and magical practitioner whose path has been shaped less by systems and more by direct experience, dirt, string, and a willingness to listen deeply to the spirits that walk with him. In this conversation, Aidan shares how punk rock led him to magic, how a major breakdown clarified his role as a teacher and healer (even if those titles make him cringe), and why the tools we already have might be more than enough. We talk about animism, autonomy, spiritual hoarding, ancestor complications, embodied spirit work, and the dangers of trying to fix spiritual problems with material logic. If you’ve ever felt allergic to orthodoxy but deeply drawn to the unseen, you’re going to love this one.

We cover:

• Aidan’s post-breakdown reorientation toward teaching and healing, and how embracing his role in community helped him recover and recommit to his work
• The animist foundations of his magical practice, and why he moved away from ceremonial systems in favor of direct, embodied, earth-based approaches
• His philosophy of working with fewer tools, but going deeper — learning from the practices themselves rather than accumulating more techniques or spirits
• The distinction between relational magic and spiritual consumerism, and why knowing “who brung you to the dance” matters more than finding the perfect deity
• How worldview is the hidden architecture behind both magic and everyday reality — and why interrogating our inherited beliefs is essential for real change
• His experiences with spirit communication, trance work, and ancestor relationships — including the beauty, the conflict, and the negotiation involved
• The importance of sovereignty when working with spirits, and how spiritual agency and personal boundaries are crucial, even (especially) in non-ordinary states

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Today I’m sharing a conversation with someone I’ve really been looking forward to talking to—Dr. Rev. Solstice of the Anahata Lineage. He’s a spiritual counselor and speaker on behalf of the Most High, and what I love about this convo is how much ground we cover. We talk about his journey from childhood Christianity to militant atheism to Buddhist study to the kind of grounded, love-soaked, non-dual mysticism he lives and teaches now. He shares some beautiful re-interpretations of scripture, including what it really means to “love your Judas,” — which syncs up nicely with the philosophy of Grace in my tradition — and finally, we also get into the trap of being “anti”—how sometimes resistance just recycles the very energy we’re trying to move beyond.

You can find Solstice and his talks on YouTube, follow him on Instagram, and book him for talks, workshops, one-on-one counseling, or guided meditation. His book Black Gītā is out now and you can also stream his music wherever you listen.

We cover:

• Solstice's spiritual evolution from childhood Christianity, to militant atheism, to Buddhist studenthood, and finally to a grounded, non-dual, love-centered worldview.
• The idea that everything—yes, everything—is God, including darkness, discomfort, and so-called “evil.”
• A radical re-reading of the Bible through the lens of mysticism, metaphor, and personal development.
• How New Age material helped Solstice reconnect with the Bible in a more empowering and embodied way.
• The concept of “Love Your Judas”: seeing betrayal, pain, and hardship as portals to transformation.
• The distinction between sociological consciousness and love or God-consciousness—and why the latter is more liberatory.
• The limits of resistance: how being “anti-” something often recycles its energy and keeps us bound to it.

Today, I’m joined by Bob Peck—author, award-winning filmmaker, mystic, and, dare I say, spiritual comedian. Fascinated by spirituality and philosophy from a young age, Bob has approached the spiritual path like a true connoisseur of the vast wisdom smorgasbord that is world religion. His deep knowledge of many traditions makes him a grounded and insightful guide, as he has demonstrated in his book Original Sin Is a Lie. With a warm heart, Bob invites us to explore the territory beyond dogma and uncover our true selves. Let’s get into it.

Connect with Monica Alanna 
Instagram: 
@rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling)
@magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing)
www.magicksalt.com

What happens when everything goes wrong — not metaphorically, but physically, viscerally, unavoidably wrong? In this episode, I sat down with Monica to talk about the night she shattered her leg on a sheet of ice… and the months of healing, surrender, and unexpected grace that followed.

But this isn’t just a story about a medical emergency. It’s about what it means to truly need help. What it feels like to slow down when our culture demands speed. What communal care actually looks like — not the fantasy of “the village” many of us pine to return to, but the messy, beautiful, real thing. What the village will actually be like.

We talk chronic illness, advocating for yourself in a broken healthcare system, receiving love when you're used to giving it, and the weird, tender tension of being both grossed out and grateful at the same time.

This conversation is funny, raw, and deeply human. Content warning for medical details — some of the things discussed are a bit… body horror… but if you’ve ever felt like your body or life betrayed you, or wondered how to keep showing up for others and yourself, this one’s for you.

We cover:

• What it’s really like to need help and receive care
• The tension between hyper-independence and community support
• Advocating for yourself in broken systems (like healthcare)
• The messy, unglamorous reality of “the village”
• How crisis can reveal — and reshape — our relationships

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
RUN TOWARDS THE HARD SH*T (4 week conflict course)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

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Today, I’m joined by Nataraj Chaitanya—a seasoned yogi, philosopher, and teacher with over two decades of experience in classical Tantra, Mantra, Bhakti, and Yoga philosophy. Beginning his meditation and yoga practice at the age of 13, Nataraj has dedicated his life to sharing his embodiment of the transformative teachings of tantra, leading retreats, workshops, and teacher training programs worldwide. Now, as you’ll hear, Nataraj is my spiritual brother. We share a lineage — both of our gurus were disciples of Swami Muktananda, so we both have been influenced quite strongly by the flavor of his unique transmission. In future episodes, we want to speak more about the guru disciple relationship and how interesting and transformative it can be to hold a teacher in both their holiness and their humanity. But for now, we can all be blessed by the nectar of Nataraj’s presence. Sometimes when I speak with him my mind goes completely blank — but in a blissful way. I only ever have this experience with my own guru. So, that’s just to say that the Grace he radiates is not only palpable, but poppin. Enjoy!

Connect with Meredith, our guest: 
Instagram: @gravesmeredith

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Today, I’m joined by Meredith Graves—musician, writer, and lifelong student of not only magic and all things western esotericism, but a deep devotee of awe and wonder. Known for her fierce presence in punk music and independent media, Meredith’s life has always been centered around her spirituality — like a nymph leaping from one career to another, it’s not about her role in the world. It’s about the way she engages with life, what she courts in all of her actions. A true, esoteric householder, if you ask me. As a dedicated magician, she weaves together art, ritual, history, and the hidden currents of the mystical traditions that penetrate every aspect of our lives. Like, no joke. Western civilization is quite literally a magical working. Now, Meredith is the epitome of a one line in human design, an encyclopedia of occult knowledge. We always have so much fun talking to each other — and so, this episode is actually part two because the first interview ended up getting published on my patreon. That one is a bit more biographical if you want to hear more about Meredith’s story. This one is a bit more like two nerds bouncing ideas off of each other for like two hours. So buckle up! Let’s dive in.

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Today, I’m joined by Jory Pryor—inter-spiritual scholar-practitioner rooted in Advaita Vedanta and shakta tantra, with a background in the Christian tradition and a deep appreciation for global expressions of non-duality. As the host of the Methods of Contemplation podcast, Jory engages in thoughtful dialogues exploring diverse spiritual paths and contemplative practices. He’s also the author of Becoming All Light: The Non-Dual Heart of Christianity, inviting readers to awaken to their true, luminous nature. I’ve often sent my own students to Jory whenever they’ve expressed an interest in returning to Christianity after exploring tantra with me. I can think of no better guide! This conversation was especially fun for me because it’s not often I get to talk with someone who has experienced the guru / disciple relationship in a similar way to me! So, let’s get right into it.

Connect with Erina, our guest: 
Instagram(s): @earthyrinabeans
@quantumwavetherapeutics
www.quantumwavetherapeutics.com
Erina is in Denver, CO if you want a local session! 

Alright guys, this conversation goes absolutely crazy. I mostly just sat there is AWE as Erina told me her story. This is a story of perseverance. This is a story of the fight to live, the will to find meaning and purpose despite insane odds. It’s… a wild ride. Just as a content warning: we’ve got some intense themes in this conversation… familial abuse, addiction, and suicide. and so, just know that going in. check in with yourself if this is the sort of stuff you wanna hear today.

But let’s talk about Erina.

Erina’s life has been an unfolding through the kind of darkness that strips everything away. In the midst of it all, a series of divine encounters shifted her path, revealing the divinity within her. Through a process of surrender, curiosity and sincerity she stopped resisting and started seeing, understanding. Now, she moves with life as a dance, finding rhythm in the ebb and flow, and strength in the stillness between. And through all of it, she’s become a powerful healer and practitioner, utilizing several modalities—Quantum Touch, sound therapy with tuning forks, aromatherapy, and yin yoga. But more than anything, by merely being herself she offers us a way of being: rooted, honest, and deeply attuned to what’s true. Let’s get into it.

Connect with Monica Alanna
Instagram: 
@rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling)
@magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing)
www.magicksalt.com
 

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Hey guys… we’ve got something a little bit different today. This is a yapcast episode. These yapcasts will be peppered into this first season to just uh…. break up the rhythm a bit? Here’s what to expect: casual conversation between me and my best friend Monica about like… whatever we want to talk about. Today, we’re talking about the idea of the inner child for like… almost two hours LOL. so get ready for that… but first, I think you need to know a bit more about her.

How can I explain monica? she’s like if an artist, poet, and visionary thinker had the integrity of a saint. she’s funny, witty, and deeply deeply curious and compassionate. in fact, she’s like, ten times more curious and compassionate than me.

another thing to know about monica is that she and i are basically the same person. we’re both splenic projectors with the channel of struggle and wide, gaping open solar plexuses. we’ve both got a lot of openness in our charts, but monica even more — i’ve got the defined head center and ajna in addition to the root and spleen. so when we’re together — the mental energy pops off in the best ways… she inspires me, i ground her thinking. i’m annoyingly individual circuitry, she’s got the tribal circuitry… so together we’re able to look with openness at the vastness of the human experience, covering all of the bases so we can stay grounded and connected with not only reality, but the needs of people around us. so, to say the least… it’s a blessing to be her friend because i don’t have to explain myself at all to her because we are SO similar. infact, we tend to go through similar things at the same time… our birthdays are less than a month apart. so, you’ll be hearing more from both of us over the course of not only this podcast, but also this year because she and i are teaching a 4 week course about interpersonal conflict in June!

so, monica and i are the same person. and yet… i don’t want to minimize her by talking about our similarities. she in her own individual being… she’s a multi media artist, a writer, a grief and conflict mentor, and a somatic teacher. she helps people make sense of life’s messiest moments. she roots everything she does in her peace education, her emphasis on transformative conflict, and restorative justice. she brings emotional depth and practicality into her world, helping people to communicate better, mend what’s been broken, and move through change with intention. she’s a coach and founder of Rooted Relating and also the voice behind Salt & Quill, where she explores the alchemy of healing, storytelling, and self expression. She is quite literally known as a sense maker, a poet in motion, and the one who will gently — but firmly — encourage you to run straight towards the hard shit. So of course, we are in GOOD company.

Now, here’s some context for this conversation. We recorded this late 2024 just weeks before Monica broke her LEG. she slipped and fell and BROKE HER LEG last year which has been wildly painful AND transformative. that channel of struggle simply won’t let up. so, our NEXT yapcast is actually going to be about her broken leg. so it’s interesting to hear her speaking on the cusp of this major life shift.

Connect with Amelia, our guest: 
Instagram: @ameliapasser
@theastromagicians.tarot
pre-order her tarot deck
ameliapasser.com (see her paintings!!!!)

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Today, I’m joined by Amelia—multidisciplinary artist, astrologer, and traveler, rooted in mythos, beauty, and deep curiosity. She creates as a form of devotion, drawing inspiration from ritual, magic, and alchemy. Her work blends oil painting with electional astrology to produce talismanic pieces that are both stunning and spellbinding. With a background in studio art and religious studies, Amelia brings thoughtful attention to both craft and mysticism—her art lives in that liminal space between knowing and wondering.

And right now, she’s channeling all of that into The Astro Magician’s Tarot—a deck four years in the making that weaves together astrology, mythos, Hermeticism, and Kabbalah. It’s live on Kickstarter, and it’s not just gorgeous—it’s potent. Let’s get into it.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled

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Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled

www.instagram.com/starryserpent

Here's their devotional song they told us about:

https://pleasurethief.bandcamp.com/album/cthonios

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Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled