Absurdist News

BRIEF: Chris and Dave Davis

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 17:15:11 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Now for the baseball portion of the podcast...

Twitter:@absurdist_news

100: Poop Mechanics

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 20 Jan 2021 18:39:25 +0000

It’s the finale! We’re finishing absurdist news at 100 episodes, with Marks back in the host seat bringing 4 stories about life (kind of) for Max and Dave to figure out which story is fake news.

Topics Include: the secret of immortality, swimming 27km, cross country pidegons, and fight or flight or karate.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Chinchilla, Yummy Yummy

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 16 Jan 2021 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Zoomocracy is under fire!

Twitter:@absurdist_news

99: Dock Ock + 1

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 13 Jan 2021 09:00:00 +0000

Time to talk about... dicks! Max brings 4 articles about dicks in weird places, while Marks and Dave try and figure out which doesn't fit.

Topics include: John Dillerman v Venom, Mars' dick pic, the menninist movement, and Spiderman's morning wood.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

GMG: Children

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Tue, 12 Jan 2021 15:48:46 +0000

Max's goat gets got by Children.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: iBroom

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 9 Jan 2021 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Steve Jobs + Witches

Twitter:@absurdist_news

98: Big Bird Tases YOU

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 6 Jan 2021 09:00:00 +0000

Variety pack for you! Dave brings 4 random articles as Marks and Max try to find out which doesn't quite fit. Topics include: outdated hentai, Dave's weaknesses, the Sesame Street Mafia, and severely under faced. Twitter: @Absurdist_News

GMG: New Years Resolutions

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Mon, 4 Jan 2021 17:22:00 +0000

Max's goat gets got by New Years Resolutions.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Eating Luigi

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 2 Jan 2021 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Which Nintendo character would you eat?

Twitter:@absurdist_news

97: Papa John's Daddy Issues

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 30 Dec 2020 09:00:00 +0000

Marks rings in the New Year with 4 crazy stories while Max and Dave contemplate being on the show for 2 years.

Topics Include: Bollywood tampons, Dave's hot candy takes, Max's trauma and a pizza pledge.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

GMG: Gorillaz

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Mon, 28 Dec 2020 18:01:31 +0000

Max's goat gets got by the Gorillaz.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Stealing Shit

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 26 Dec 2020 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

What would you do to deter your package thiefs?

Twitter:@absurdist_news

96: 3 Wise Dewds TM

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 09:00:00 +0000

Holiday spirit? You know it. Max is back with 4 Christmas tales, while Marks and Dave figure out which stories are nice and which one is naughty.

Topics include: the best Christmas song, assault rifle doll house, Dewtivity Scene TM, and stocking full of ranch.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

GMG: Movies

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 17:50:10 +0000

Max's goat gets got by movies.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Finger Lickin Good

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Colonel Sanders played by Mario Lopez. What else do you need?

Twitter:@absurdist_news

95: Politician Privates Investigator

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 16 Dec 2020 09:00:00 +0000

We crossed the line. Dave brings four articles about politics and Marks and Max try to figure out which article to vote out.

Topics: mask inspection, Joe Biden's free McDonalds, presidential temperature preferences, and the worst name ever.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

GMG: the Star Wars Economy

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Mon, 14 Dec 2020 18:11:22 +0000

Max's goat gets got by the Star Wars Economy. Yep.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Roided Cat Fights

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 12 Dec 2020 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Max vs a roided out cat. Who would you bet on?

Twitter:@absurdist_news

94: Punching Graham Bell

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 9 Dec 2020 09:00:00 +0000

The grandmothers return! Max dusts off 4 stories about grandmas, and Marks and Dave pull their spectacles on to see which one is fake news.

Topics Include: Grandma Fuel, a surprise twist, rotary phone inefficiency, and punching historical inventors.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

GMG: Elephants

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Mon, 7 Dec 2020 15:49:02 +0000

Max's goat gets got by elephants.

Twitter: @absurdist_News

BRIEF: CopVan

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 5 Dec 2020 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Finally figuring out where all the cops come from in GTA.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

93: Lil Robot Ray J

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 2 Dec 2020 09:00:00 +0000

Time to dip into the cyber world! Marks brings 4 articles about robots to Max and Dave to see if they can compute the truth. Can humanity beat the machines? Topics include: Terminator Hugh Jackman, HitchBaby, cockroach cyborgs and backflipping butt bot

Twitter: @absurdist_news

GMG: Turkey

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 18:48:36 +0000

Max's goat gets got by Turkeys.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

BRIEF: xxTh3P0p3xx

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 28 Nov 2020 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

What would you do if you ran into the Pope on Halo?

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

92: Bigfoot the Shaman Vampire

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 09:00:00 +0000

Happy Thanksgiving! Dave's bringing the cheer with an episode all about bigfoot, yeti and sasquatch. Marks and Max are as confused as ever as they try and find the fake news article!

Topics include: the kangaroo saw a yeti, sexy bigfoot, bigfoot's hidden abilities and proper science.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Got My Goat: Skincare Masks

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Mon, 23 Nov 2020 20:23:31 +0000

We found a title! This is Got My Goat, hosted by Max to complain about various topics around the world. This week - why the skin care industry is a SCAM!

Twitter: @absurdist_news

BRIEF: Chicken or Egg?

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sun, 22 Nov 2020 01:59:53 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

We're getting philosophical up in this.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

91: WAP (Wario Ass Pussy)

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 05:37:15 +0000

What is that melody?!? Well its actually Max rolling in with 4 news articles related to music! Topics include: Tupac's repentance, tornado Wario, Dave vs WAP, Alan Thicke's post mortem sex life.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

Pending - But Definitely Not Hot Takes

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Mon, 16 Nov 2020 18:02:35 +0000

New Monday show incoming! This one's all about ranting! Our specialty!

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: 3 Roles, 1 Courtroom

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 14 Nov 2020 21:41:31 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

What's your favourite crime show?

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

90: Foiled Again!

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 11 Nov 2020 06:49:29 +0000

Wee woo wee woo! Marks is bringing 4 stories related to emergency services (EMS noticeably missing) while Max and Dave try and figure out which one is fake news.

Topics include: nudes and prudes, lobster fish or man, tree cat, calm and covid raids

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Jim Carrey the Masochist

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sun, 8 Nov 2020 04:32:52 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Interesting training for the Grinch.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

89: Cool Cool Cool Ranch

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 4 Nov 2020 06:21:42 +0000

Too many chefs in the kitchen this time around. Ha jokes on you. This time around Dave's head chef while Max and Marks have to figure out which one is fake news.

Topics include: skeleton problems, Timothy's shitty arcade purchase, rat strats, d-d-doritos

Twitter: @absurdist_news

BRIEF: Scared Man

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 31 Oct 2020 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Bats are our friends.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

88: Cats love diabetes

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 28 Oct 2020 03:22:46 +0000

Happy Halloween! Well ok. Its a little early, but our Holiday guy Max is bringing 4 spooky stories to the podcast for Marks and Dave to figure out.

Topics include: wrong type of powder, ghost gun, swatting cats, self-Heimlich

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Sex Toys R Us

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 24 Oct 2020 18:36:07 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

There's a little magic in everything

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

87: Tippy Testies

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 04:32:53 +0000

Ding ding, the dinner bell has rang and Marks brings to the table 4 news articles about food and food adjacent stuff. Lets see if Max and Dave have their plate full on this one!

Topics include: the JcChicken stroke, ice cream crotches, onion tips, potato debate.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

BRIEF: Innuendo

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 17 Oct 2020 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

"Mentally exhausting" according to Max

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

86: Terminally Ugly

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 14 Oct 2020 09:00:00 +0000

Ever have a bad idea? Of course you have! But this week Dave is bringing 4 bad ideas to the table while Marks and Max try and figure out which bad idea was made up from the start.

Topics include: Elon Musk, Cop Con, Sandwich theft, U Ugly

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Wizard Battle

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 10 Oct 2020 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

If a bunch of wizards had a podcast....

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

85: #TeamQuiggly

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 7 Oct 2020 03:38:26 +0000

And you thought science was just a portion of the podcast. HA! Max brings the science podcast into this weeks episode while Marks and Dave try and navigate through it.

Topics: Moses moos, emo-nkey, peanut and jellyfish, murder squirrels.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

BRIEF - Goats Town

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 3 Oct 2020 09:00:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Goats are friends, not food.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

84: The "Mood"

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 30 Sep 2020 09:00:11 +0000

Are you in the mood? Tune in this week as Marks brings 4 articles about animals to Dave and Max. Topics include: relativity, bear-fu, Morpheus' pill problem, snake in the pants.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Coconut vs Pineapple

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 26 Sep 2020 09:00:03 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Of course there's a coconut minister.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

83: The Dick Flap

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 23 Sep 2020 04:16:07 +0000

Pull your undergarmets up tight cause Dave is back in the host chair bringing 4 stories about underwear to Marks and Max to figure out!

Topics include: Historical panties, squirrel theft, wine chugging, real big underwear

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Tom Holland's Web

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 09:00:16 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Sex spiders? Damn.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

82: The Brews

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 05:12:02 +0000

Grab your shots, cause we're getting drunk this episode. Well Max brings 4 articles to Marks and Dave where the M&M duo take a shot per story. Yikes.

Topics include: mountaineering, Fast Food, not letting go, cell phone scraps.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

BRIEF: Armadillo Duel

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 12 Sep 2020 08:00:21 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Why shoot an armadillo?

81: Cheetah Puffs

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 9 Sep 2020 04:53:45 +0000

The boys are back in town! Well virtually of course. Tune in this week for your fill of crazy news articles with Marks, Max and Dave. Topics include: Cardboard replacements, the chicken wing debate, tiger fondles, capitalism.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Reflecting: Absurdist Muse

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 2 Sep 2020 08:00:09 +0000

Bit of a different episode, before we get back into our weekly show! This week Marks, Max & Dave reflect on Absurdist News: how it started, whats changed, and what could change in the future.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Shark Value

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 29 Aug 2020 09:00:06 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

What a great way to end our break. Amirite people?!?

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Dumplomatic Immunity

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 22 Aug 2020 09:00:12 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Illegal to get arrested on the toilet?

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Peter & the Polish Puma

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 15 Aug 2020 09:00:04 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Coming soon to your local television networks: Peter and the Polish Puma!

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: Emu Civil Rights

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 8 Aug 2020 09:00:23 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Time to educated about the great emu war. Twitter for the poll.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

HEADLINES: 1 - 6

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 5 Aug 2020 04:23:55 +0000

Highlights of episodes 1 - 6 of Absurdist News! We're going to be taking August off as a break, but will pick things back up in September. Briefs will still be published every Saturday! Hope you enjoy this blast to the past. Not our finest moments.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF WEEK: Facebook Secret Society

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 1 Aug 2020 09:00:06 +0000

Ending off Brief Week with just the 3 of us! Hope you enjoyed this fun little experiment - but also hopefully you'll consider joining our secret soci- I mean what?

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

BRIEF WEEK: WWE's Cartwheel Carriage (feat. Replay Mode)

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Fri, 31 Jul 2020 09:00:04 +0000

What is the optimal form of transportation you might ask? Boy howdy do we have the answer. Check out Replay Mode: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBkl0KmpNuPjIKEkonYub9w

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF WEEK: Playing Hard (feat. Felix)

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Thu, 30 Jul 2020 09:00:02 +0000

Ok there's no way that doing this would give you an advantage on the field. That's all I'm going to say on this one.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF WEEK: Moon Burns (feat. Drinkipedia)

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 09:00:18 +0000

What do you like to do when you walk up a mountain? One of my friends literally went on a 40 minute run up Mont Royal. Yeah that's a deep cut.

Check out Drinkipedia: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/drinkipedia/id1446766913

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

BRIEF WEEK: Cannibal Cage Con (feat. Cage's Kiss)

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Tue, 28 Jul 2020 09:00:28 +0000

Hope you're ready for your dose of Nic Cage doing Nic Cage things.

Check out Cage's Kiss: https://castbox.fm/channel/Cage's-Kiss-id2028341

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF WEEK: Joe Bitem (Feat. Riles)

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Mon, 27 Jul 2020 09:00:03 +0000

Welcome to a full week of briefs! First up is with our buddy Riles! Check out his stuff here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8fPo7w3nIqofQH-OAUd7-g/featured

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

BRIEF: "Fuck Party City"

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 25 Jul 2020 07:00:09 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Get ready for some Disney and Party City. Very strong opinions in this one!

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Natural Holster - Absurdist News: Aliens

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 22 Jul 2020 13:56:32 +0000

Little green guy alert! Well ok its just Marks bringing 5 stories about aliens to Max and Dave while they try to sort through which story is actually fake news.

Topics include: Space is nerdy, an unexpected twist, vikings and celtics, the fuck light, the return of the goo.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Insurance God

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 18 Jul 2020 15:37:21 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Poor insurance God.

Twitter:@Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewspod

HONK - Absurdist News: Clowns

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 04:56:47 +0000

Get your party tricks out! Dave brings 5 fun (creepy?) stories about clowns and all the things they do.

Topics include: Clown leader, red flags, drunken clowns, pie podcasts, endless tangents.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Utter Confusion

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 11 Jul 2020 23:52:01 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Cow puns. Moo-ve it.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Vegan Cigarettes - Absurdist News: Independence Day

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 8 Jul 2020 08:00:11 +0000

Happy post independence day!!!! Max the holiday host brings in 5 articles that are independence day (adjacent) to Dave and Marks to figure out which stories are fake news. Topics include: Leg-less, community BBQs, chow dogs, poor taste fireworks, animated cartoon coming soon.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Its Chlamydia Time!

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 4 Jul 2020 05:41:25 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

If you thought Ben Grimm had a hard time before...

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Santa the Socialist - Absurdist News: Canada

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 1 Jul 2020 04:40:57 +0000

Happy Canada Day! Marks the resident Canadian brings 5 articles to Max and Dave all related to the great white north.

Topics include: The Elf Union, real bad puns, Mr. Frieze's zoo, what is a caribou, Canadian kindness

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Owl Justice

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 27 Jun 2020 16:40:02 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Owl law is very technical.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Coffin Crush - Absurdist News: Consumables

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 24 Jun 2020 03:22:28 +0000

Grab your snacks and beverages, cause Dave is bringing 5 wacky news stories about consumables! Marks and Max strap in for this wild ride.

Topics include: Calorie counting, the Campaign to End All Squirrels, the best type of eyes, Coffin Crush, the FBI watchlist.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Defining Crime

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 04:11:38 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

What really is a crime anyways?

Twitter: @absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

The Ghostbusters Podcast - Absurdist News: Ghosts

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 10:00:25 +0000

Spooky! Marks brings in the spooky stories for Max and Dave to try and figure out which story is fake news.

Topics include: 50 Cent Slimer, Gunk, Workplace Hazards, Spooky Crime, Sexorcism

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Toad Diffusers

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 13 Jun 2020 15:31:00 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Everyone's got a side hustle.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Fast Food Giant Buns - Absurdist News: McDonalds

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 10 Jun 2020 03:27:40 +0000

Max takes Dave and Marks to the golden arches in this week's episode - all about McDonalds. Can you figure out which article is as fake as a Burger King whopper?

Topics Include: McVeggie rage, weird candles, McEmergency, Nutella lies, forgetful police

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Eat a Mascot

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 30 May 2020 05:00:06 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Which mascot would you eat?

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Beau Voodoo - Absurdist News: Magic

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 27 May 2020 07:00:15 +0000

Get your wands ready, Marks brings in 5 mystical stories about voodoo, magic, sorcery, and the rest of those things. Join Max and Dave trying to figure out which article is really fake news.

Topics Include: lego walmart, witch assassinations, why bosses have 4 homes, voodoo business, the magic cops.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Foreign Delicacies

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 23 May 2020 18:57:15 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Learning food preferences among other things...

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Goodbye Stickers - Absurdist News: Funerals

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 20 May 2020 05:46:08 +0000

Just when you thought things were going one way, Max brings in funerals! So get ready for 5 news articles about the end of life tradition while Marks and Dave try to guess which article is actually fake news. Topics Include: missed the stab, real skeletons, the mob funeral service, Dave's stickers, and the perfect disguise.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @Absurdistnewspod

BRIEF: Candy Hot Takes

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 16 May 2020 07:00:20 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Sour Patch kids. Where do you fall?

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Level One Human - Absurdist News: China

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 13 May 2020 05:07:28 +0000

Get ready for some wild stories about China! Brought to you straight from Dave, while Marks and Max trying to figure out which article is fake news! Topics include: the worst Superman ever, 2 fly limit, photoshopped childhood photos, Chinese Jaws Saw, suing for ugly fraud.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Fb: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF - The Worst Barber Ever

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 9 May 2020 14:59:20 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Into the mind of Max.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

FaceBook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Pokey Stick vs Snake - Absurdist News: Snakes

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 6 May 2020 05:27:22 +0000

Marks slithers around for 5 news articles all about snakes! Time for Max and Dave to figure out which story is actually just a rope and not a snake.

Topics include: a long dong, the great snake debate, more philosophy, pokey sticks, one badass parrot.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @AbsrudistNewsPod

BRIEF: Third Degree Amish

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 2 May 2020 05:54:20 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Get your pandemic pagers ready.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

PeePee Erection - Absurdist News: Deliveries

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 29 Apr 2020 09:00:14 +0000

Absurdist News delivered right to your door! Max packages up 5 stories about deliveries gone wrong (or right?) for Marks and Dave to figure out which one is a back package.

Topics Include: Boober Eats, Disney's the Pizza King, fraudulent donuts, sexy nurses, Max and his Monk.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Brief: Terminal Baby Velocity

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 25 Apr 2020 11:00:07 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Baby go pop!

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Rudolph the Red Eyed Reindeer - Absurdist News: Marijuana

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 05:16:52 +0000

Well this unintentional celebration of 420 worked out in its own sort of way. Dave brings 5 weed related stories to Marks and Max as they sift through the smoke to determine which article, is fake news.

Topics include: arresting squirrels, McDonalds Tea Please, Merry Christmas, pool party plant, and balloon nose.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

Brief: More Sad News

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 18 Apr 2020 10:00:01 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Get ready for a big ol twist at the end of this one.

The Golf Club - Absurdist News: Transit

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 15 Apr 2020 04:57:23 +0000

Incoming train heading to Fake News Station. This week, Marks brings 5 articles that involves the subway, or transit in general. Max and Dave are on for one hell of a ride.

Topics include: Golf club assault, county fair assault, the definition of efficiency, vigilante justice, swol rats.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Papa Ganicci's Pizzeria

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 11 Apr 2020 16:07:43 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

A Schawarmizza coming to a Secret Service near you.

The Power of Stalin - Absurdist News: Cameras

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 8 Apr 2020 15:02:35 +0000

Click click! Its time for Absurdist News! While we were all anticipating the April fools episodes, APRIL FOOLS! Max is back in the host seat ringing 5 stories about cameras or camera related things to Marks and Dave. See if you can figure out which story is fake news. Topics include: ironic crime, kdragon sex, hot Carl Marx, Zoom fails, Brookebane

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @Absuridstnewspod

BRIEF: the Birth-Divorce Ratio

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 4 Apr 2020 17:03:44 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Remember, when quarantined, you still got to get your nut out.

Max in the Mirror - Absurdist News: Teenagers

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 1 Apr 2020 09:00:03 +0000

They're gonna clean up your looks, with all the lies in the books, to make a citizen out of you...

WHOOPS! No copyright infringement here! But Dave is bringing teenagers back into the news cycle with 5 crazy stories involving teens in odd situations.

Topics include: grandma cookies, twin destruction, hair salons, earning your pilot license, crocodile punching.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Ketchup Delivery System

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 28 Mar 2020 08:00:25 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday. Cold fries or unsalted fries? The choice is yours.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @Absurdistnewspod

Heels of Poop - Absurdist News: Vacuums

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 05:35:50 +0000

VROOM! The vacuum has been started by Marks, and now Max and Dave have to sort through the dustbin to see which article they think is fake news. Topics include: getting intimate with your vacuum, the vacuum wars, poop robots, barber trust issues, windpowered stimulus.

Hi everyone - just a note that things have been tough lately for everyone. We hope that you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. We'll be putting out episodes at the same rate and do will do what we can to make sure you're still laughing! - Marks

Twitter: @absurdist_news

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: Iranian Squirrel Society

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 21 Mar 2020 20:52:39 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

As we know, Max hates squirrels, but little did we know that he hates spy squirrels even more.

Dave's Terrible Takes - Absurdist News: Irish

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 05:23:40 +0000

I'm not going to try and type how you would imagine an Irish person will sound. So this St. Patrick's Day, Max brings 5 Irish inspired stories up to Marks and Dave who need to figure out which one is fake news.

Topics include: Eeps and Oats, cocaine grandmothers, break and entering, IRA vs McDoanlds, sheep physics.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

BRIEF: College Dickgree

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 10:00:03 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

Metal balls up the member. Oh boy. Also remember to wash your hands!!!

Wrinkled, Rumpled and Cone-ular - Absurdist News: Teachers

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 11 Mar 2020 06:00:07 +0000

Class is now in session! Coach Dave is bringing 5 teacher related articles to Marks and Max. Let's find out if they get a bad grade or not, cause its a wild ride from the midterm to the final. Topics include: drunk teachers, duct tape ninjas, poop inspectors, sex toy selfies, licking where you fart.

BRIEF: High Town

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 7 Mar 2020 11:00:03 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

This weeks article is about police burning weed getting the entire town high. Yep.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

Facebook: @AbsurdistNewsPod

The Chork - Absurdist News: Meat

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 4 Mar 2020 13:00:09 +0000

Meet Max the meat man. Or at least on this episode he is. Max brings 5 news stories related to meat, while Marks and Dave chew their way through figuring out which one is fake news.

Topics include: truck meat, sweating curry, kangaroo chili, a pig misunderstanding, & shrimpman kenneth.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Facebook: @absurdistnewspod

BRIEF: Sex Snakes Bite Back

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Sat, 29 Feb 2020 03:00:16 +0000

ABSURDIST BRIEFS - 4 minutes, 1 article, lots of jokes. Every Saturday.

This weeks article is all about sex snakes and squatters. Right up our alley!

twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AbsurdistNewsPod/

Quacking Up a Storm - Absurdist News: Ducks

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 26 Feb 2020 05:38:07 +0000

Quack quack. Marks brings up 5 stories about ducks and their little shenanigans while Max and Dave try to parse through which one is fake news.

Topics include: TV cord strangulation, blow-dart attacks, duck sport, emotional support animals, Dave the Duck fucks.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AbsurdistNewsPod/

BRIEF: Golden Wrecking Ball

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 03:00:01 +0000

Bonus content for Friday! Starting each Friday we will be uploading an "Absurdist Brief" or just a short little segment where we joke about a title of an article.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

Taking a Cody Williams - Absurdist News: Medical

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 05:44:47 +0000

Paging Dr. Marks and Dr. Max. Dr. Dave is bringing you 5 new patients, 1 of them is lying about their symptoms! Get ready for a medical filled episode and strap in, cause this one will probably make you cross your legs just a little bit. Topics include: testicle removals, the perfect anus, lego head ingestion, explosive chests, and penis tattoos.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Love Behind Bars - Absurdist News: Valentine's Day

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 12 Feb 2020 15:08:40 +0000

Love is in the air! Valentine's day is coming up and so, Max has brought 5 stories related to love, relationships, and Valentine's day for Marks and Dave to figure out who has really found true love.

Topics include: love-day hotels, casket sales, BK adult toys, escaping prison, yet another tasing.

Twitter: @absurdist_News

Snoop Maxy Max - Absurdist News: Neighbors

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 5 Feb 2020 05:35:51 +0000

Here at Absurdist News we delve into 5 news articles where one is fake news. Can you figure it out?

NEIGHBORS! We love em, we don't see em, but we know they're there. This week, Marks brings 5 stories about neighbors and neighborhoods for Max and Dave to see if they pay attention to the people around them.

Topics include: snooping in Toronto, teen trends, flooding basements, "moving out", and pulling a gun on your neighbors.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Sitting on a Pregnant Camel - Absurdist News: Lawsuits 2

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 29 Jan 2020 05:17:31 +0000

ORDER! I SAID ORDER! Ahem. Your Honourable Dave brings court back in session with the second round of lawsuits for Marks and Max to cross-examine. Topics include parrot assault, lots of math, pregnant camels, close captioning, and prison boredom.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Taste Testes - Absurdist News: Science

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 00:00:01 +0000

Greetings! After many science-portion-of-the-podcast's Marks decided to turn the entire episode into a science filled spectacular. Tune in to hear Max and Dave sort their way through which science article is fake news. Topics include: Star Wars kid, poop suffocation, getting space high, your new favourite pet, TikTok for boomers.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Roided Out Beavers - Absurdist News: Beavers

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 15 Jan 2020 05:19:23 +0000

No not that beaver. This weeks episode is brought to you by Max, bringing 5 beaver related stories to Marks and Dave to try and figure out which woodchuck could chuck- wait wrong animal.

Topics include: beaver facts with Marks, killer beavers, do you even gnaw bro, penis exports, and Russian misprints.

twitter: @absurdist_news

Ramming Each Other - Absurdist News: Goats

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 8 Jan 2020 00:00:05 +0000

Ready for your goat to get got? Well Dave is ringing in 2020 with 5 goat related news articles as Marks and Max try not to get their goats got. I refuse to believe that phrase actually is used. Please help me prove this.

Topics include: Goat armed robbery, sex goats ain't scared, pistol whipping passengers, pig goat bonding, goat sacrifice.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Bill New Year's Eve the Science Guy - Absurdist News: NYE

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 1 Jan 2020 19:24:47 +0000

Happy New Year! I hope everyone's ready for YEAR 2 OF ABSURDIST NEWS! Bringing in 2020 is Marks with 5 New Year's Eve/Day stories with Dave and Max trying to figure out which one is fake news. Topics include: Science shenanigans, holiday crime, monorail fun times, roadkill, age does matter.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

Website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

War on Secular Christmas - Absurdist News: Christmas

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 25 Dec 2019 18:24:25 +0000

Welcome to the holiday special episode of Absurdist News! The Max "The Holiday Specialist" Vieweg brings 5 joyful Christmas news articles to Dave and Marks as they try and figure out which one is naughty.

Topics include: drug quality sniffing dogs, kg of electricity, faux trees, nativity mistakes, environmental Santa.

Twitter: @absurdist_news

website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Shit or Snickers? - Absurdist News: Cocaine

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 05:18:23 +0000

Happy holidays! Get ready for some snow. Marks hosts this drug fueled episode while Dave and Max reveal in the stories and honestly, seem to care more about the concept than the articles.

Topics: Spider-Coke-Man, accidental airport disaster, gamer cocaine market, White Christmas, complicated words.

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Fat Shaming Santa - Absurdist News: Santa

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 11 Dec 2019 00:00:05 +0000

We at Absurdist News like to get ahead of ourselves and start doing holiday themed episodes a little early. Sue us. Dave takes Marks and Max down the candy-cane trail of Santa related news. Topics include: how many ho's, copyrighting Santa, mall Santa attacks, fat shaming, and emergency Santa cursing.

articles & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Twitter: @absurdist_news

Boomer Break Dancing Dentist - Absurdist News: Dentists

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 4 Dec 2019 05:10:23 +0000

Ready for your teeth to be cleaned? Marks brings up 5 toothachey stories, that Max and Dave have to figure out which tooth has a cavity. Then remove it. Also beware gingivitis.

Topics Include: Charcoal Toothpaste, slidin' in the DMs, Old Town Road, the shakes, dog dentist.

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Articles & Contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Max, Marks, & D. Titty - Absurdist News: Food p2

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 27 Nov 2019 04:45:43 +0000

Bet you're probably wondering what this one's about aren't you. Well Max (Marcus Wong) takes Marks (Max Vieweg) and Dave (D. Titty) into the wonderful land of food stories. Oddly we talk about alot of drugs too.

Topics include: Really good branding, belly button beer, opium noodles, Saudi Arabian delicacies, and fake restaurants.

Website & Contact: Absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Twitter: @absurdist_news

Dave the Big-Big Spoon - Absurdist News: Florida Woman

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 20 Nov 2019 05:12:50 +0000

It was bound to happen, and it finally did. This week Dave dives into 5 Florida woman stories to try and throw off Max and Marks on their hunt to fin the fake article. This one gets wild.

Topics include: maid of honor hit and run, cuddling problems, sandwich invasion, 77 thousand stupids, the nibbler.

Website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

Aw Meth Baby, Nice - Absurdist News: Happiness

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 13 Nov 2019 05:52:01 +0000

Time to be happy! Ish. Marks brings 5 news articles for Max and Dave to discuss, all about bringing smiles to your faces. Or something along those lines. Topics include: the power of money, dogs vs cats, spouses, abducted babies, whale watching.

Website and Contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

twitter: @Absurdist_news

It's a Fucking Pizza Bro - Absurdist News: Weird Relationships

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 6 Nov 2019 16:50:29 +0000

Weird relationships! You know a couple people in them. Well get ready cause Dave is bringing 5 weird news stories about really weird relationships. Time for Marks and Max to figure out just how weird people get when they get hitched.

Topics include: rat gold digger, shazz the plane boyfriend, pillow marriage, the Idea of Pizza, Tetris > math.

contact and articles: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Twitter: @absurdist_News

The Ooze - Absurdist News: Halloween

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 30 Oct 2019 02:32:26 +0000

Its time for spooks! Get ready for some Halloween stories as Max hosts this monster filled episode as Marks and Dave navigate the ghouls presented. And boy are there some ghouls.

Topics include: Candy homicide, vibrating spooks, skunk skeet shooting, literal haunted houses, very real knives.

website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Granny Gang Bang - Absurdist News: Old People

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 23 Oct 2019 04:34:56 +0000

Get ready for some old folks yet again. Dave brings Marks and Max 5 articles about the elderly and all the ye olde shenanigans they get up to! Topics include: soft bushes, cat thieves, pistoliers, a baaaaad time, and the perfect crime.

contact and articles: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Moose Stains - Absurdist News: Moose

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 16 Oct 2019 05:11:04 +0000

Moooooooose! Ha, I bet you thought i was tryping out a cow Moo but jokes on you, I was just spelling out moose! This week, Marks brings 5 Mooseful articles to Max, Dave and guest Aria to figure out which one is a fake article. Check out Aria's podcast Forge's Board on all podcasting platforms: https://twitter.com/ForgesBoard

Topics include: airplane poop protest, sexual assault moose, Soviet surprise, moose stains, Jaw Mayor

articles and contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

twitter: Absurdist_News

The Drunk One - Absurdist News: Drunk II

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 9 Oct 2019 04:56:36 +0000

Get your tequila shots ready! After being followed on Twitter by a Tequila company, Max decided to share 5 good ol drunk tales with Marks and Dave. Oh with tequila shots for each story of course. Strap in. This one gets wild.

Topics Include: Lama adventures, Uranium Snakequarium, Horse attacks, self arrest, drunk man snow man

articles & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

He Who Shall Not be Nosed - Absurdist News: Harry Potter

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 2 Oct 2019 02:50:01 +0000

YOU'RE A WIZARD LISTENER! Marks brings 5 magical articles about our favourite wizard - no not Gandalf, the other one - Harry Potter! Time for Max and Dave to be the sorting hat in which of these mystical tales is truth and which one is false!

topics include: goblin pee, JK Rowling: Ghostbuster, racist Ron, book burning, actual flying Harry Potter on a broom.

articles and contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

twitter; @Absurdist_News

Biggest Turd - Absurdist News: Poop

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 25 Sep 2019 04:19:21 +0000

Well we weren't reaching far this week for jokes. Join Dave as he shows Marks and Max the number 2 job of how to host.

Topics include: Japan, pooplifting, socks, lottery winners, and septic tanks

articles and contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

twitter: @absurdist_news

Shooting George Clooney - Absurdist News: Arizona

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 06:07:15 +0000

Florida who? Max takes Marks and Dave across the country to visit Arizona. Just when you thought a state couldn't get crazier - here we are.

Topics include: job interview arrest, shooting moon science, explosive mothers, shed concerts, and hornet nest grenades.

articles & contact: Absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Twitter: @Absurdist_news

The Royal Master - Absurdist News: Viagra

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 11 Sep 2019 05:21:00 +0000

Trouble beneath the sheets? This week we help you out by giving you the best medicine - laughter! Marks brings 5 articles about Viagra to Max and Dave to try and figure out which story is fake news. Get ready for some science.

Topics Inlucde: Costco Lawsuit, the randy robber, EpiPen, Sexy Pavement Lichen, Chinese penis pills.

articles & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Yabba-Dabba-Fuck - Absurdist News: Costumes

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 4 Sep 2019 00:00:01 +0000

People love dressing up in costumes! This week, Dave takes Marks and Max into the costumed crazy world of news.
Topics include: Pikachu White House invasion, Suck my udder, Mr. Freeze puns, Gorilla mattresses, Flinstone Footmobile

articles and contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

Egyptian Penis Party - Absurdist News: Genitalia

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 03:58:55 +0000

I'm going to be honest - I didn't know what to write here. Sooooo Max brings sex organs, genitals, the private parts, and whatever you might call them, to the table this week. Marks and Dave try and figure out which crazy thing involving people's things is fake news!
Topics include: penis enlargement, potatoes, clam dick, vagina off, acid attacks

Articles & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
Twitter: @absurdist_news

Bigfoot Cinematic Universe Universe - Absurdist News: Bigfoot

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 21 Aug 2019 03:14:27 +0000

Witness the birth of the brand new 5 film franchise - the Bigfoot Cinematic Universe Universe coming soon to theatres near you. Dave pitches 5 stories, upon which Marks and Max bring it to the drawing board to see which ones have film potential.
Topics: California lawsuits, Bigfoots are citizens too, ninja sex Bigfoot, Bigfoot car crashes, and sniping Bigfoot

Checkout the articles: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
Twitter: @absurdist_news

Max Statistics - Absurdist News: Sharks

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 14 Aug 2019 03:38:04 +0000

Happy post shark week! Especially considering who knows when you're going to listen to this - it may be before or after shark week. But anyways, Marks brings a shark tank full of articles for Max and Dave to swim through.
Thanks to the boys over at Suck My (fan) Fic for the guest presentation! Look em up!
topics include: surfer needs his beer, sports sharks, shark heist, father bonding, shark courting

Suck My (fan) Fic: @suckmyfanfic
Twitter: @Absurdist_news
Articles: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Cat Knees? - Absurdist News: Cats

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 7 Aug 2019 03:50:38 +0000

Meow! Dave hosts the catastic episode in honour of those creepy Cats on the new Cat movie. Strap into learn more about Max and Marks is there too just for fun.
Topics Include: 550 cats, strip club kitten, spy cat, jury cat, cat-eating man

website & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Granny Team 5 - Absurdist News: Grandmothers

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 03:19:43 +0000

Hello there dearies! Marks brings 5 good ol tales about lil ol' grannies for Dave and Max to understand which one of these little guys isn't quite telling the whole truth! And then we take a special espionage turn when the elite federal team Granny Team 5 prevails again. With special guest presenters Mixed Drinks and Mysteries!

Special Agents: Christmas Grandma, Sexy Grandma, Sex toy Grandma, Dead Grandma, Gun Grandma.

Check out Mixed Drinks and Mysteries on all podcasting platforms and @drinks_mixed

articles & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

Lemming Party - Absurdist News: Animals Again

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 00:53:11 +0000

Recorded this one after midnight, and boy howdy its a ride. Max once again becomes the king of the jungle and gives Marks and Dave 5 absurd animal related news stories. Get ready for this one.
Topics include: Sky wolves, lemmings, murder birds, godamn parrots (again), and Seaworld Spies.

Articles and Contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
Twitter: @absurdist_news

Parrot Stupidity - Absurdist News: Dave's Brother

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 17 Jul 2019 02:45:15 +0000

Well you asked for it (no you didn't) and so it's here! Our very own Dave presents articles that his dear ol brother sent him and he kept ignoring until now. Meanwhile Marks and Max get heated about some stupid animal thing.
Topics include: asshole ghosts, marathon dogs, narking parrots, alter boy seshing, and a face full of feces.

articles and contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @Absurdist_News

Elk Arms - Absurdist News: Drinks

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 10 Jul 2019 03:11:16 +0000

Grab your drinks - and get ready for Marks to hit you over the head with a beer bottle in this week's Absurdist News! We talk drunk people/animal stories this week as Max and Dave try to stumble through to find out which article is fake news.
Also check out Drinkipedia! Thanks to those guys for being our guest presenter: https://drinkipedia.podbean.com/

Topics include: Amish buggy crashes, drunk dog driving, elk arms, pirate-ing, Chad bro-ing out

Articles: absuridstnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

Ronald Reagan in a Ronald Reagan Mask - Absurdist News: Nudity

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 3 Jul 2019 02:44:05 +0000

Time to get controversial. Dave brings 5 bare naked stories to Marks and Max as they attempt to avert their eyes from the truth. Or something like that.
Topics include: airplane aerodynamics, calm naked strolls across the highway, slinging some urine, Presidental peepers, and Breaking Bad's newest spin off.

Website and contact: Absurdistnews.wordpress.com
Twitter: @Absurdist_News

Caffeinated Assault - Absurdist News: Video Games

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 26 Jun 2019 03:11:53 +0000

Get the gamer gear out you 1337 gamers you. Max presents 5 video game related articles to Marks and Dave as they try to crack this puzzle game over the interwebs.
Topics include: Xbox scents, alternative MBAs, pizza parties, soda k-pods, child soldiers.
Articles & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

Amish Adultery - Absurdist News: Casinos

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 19 Jun 2019 04:00:05 +0000

Jeremiah, Zachariah and Abraham roll the dice on 5 casino based stories! Shout out to the Amish...
Topics include: losing slots, how to poop your pants, phishing, the Amish, and marijuana laws.

contact and articles: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

Tree Rats - Absurdist News: Grab Bag 1

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 12 Jun 2019 04:00:02 +0000

Time for a good ol trip down memory lane! Dave present's Marks and Max with the grab bag episode - taking articles based on 5 past episodes!
topics include: selfie squirrels, dog anxiety, Nickelback identity theft, Mr. Clean's vigilante justice, and a blowtorch heist.

articles & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @Absurdist_News

Anal About Voting - Absurdist News: Government

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 5 Jun 2019 03:08:03 +0000

The kid is back in town. Max takes Marks and Dave down a rabbit hole of what crazy political stories are coming up in this politically unstable day and age.
Topics include: elderly funeral discounts, Danish alternative marketing, molecules of US freedom, the Brexit cake case, being vacationed.

Articles and Contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

Blabbit - Absurdist News: Medical

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 29 May 2019 03:06:48 +0000

Get your prescriptions and other various medical supplies, cause Dr. Dave is busting in the door with 5 medicine based news articles! Marks and Max haven't gotten their shots for these crazy stories!
Topics include: maggot cures, $48000 kitten scratches, Christmas sweats, bee eye, orgasm strokes

website & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

Twitter Cop - Absurdist News: Toronto

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 22 May 2019 02:59:05 +0000

Coming in hot from the 6ix, Marks brings 5 news articles about Toronto to Max and Dave. This week featuring a guest presenter, Mic'd Up Toronto! Check out their stuff here: https://soundcloud.com/micduptoronto

Topics include: Sad icecream, snitches and narcs, the Joker, round house kicking protesters, car theft.

website & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

The Bowl Costume - Absurdist News: Relationships

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 15 May 2019 03:37:59 +0000

Welp, strap in for this one. Not super screamy this time, but lots of laughs to be had! Venture into the news on relationships as Dave poses 5 news stories based on them. Marks and Max try to understand relationships, but lets be honest, who really knows??
Topics include: dildos, bull pasta, pepsi truck, singing fish, and two for one brides

website & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

Hot Takes - Absurdist News: Music

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 8 May 2019 02:43:54 +0000

Get your singing voices ready - this episode brought to you by Dave and the boys (boys being Marks and Max), trying to uncover which musical news stories were strokes of genius and which ones... just suck.
Topics include: Christmas, on hold music, pizza holdups, Justin Bieber christian rock, and congress cage matches.

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twitter: @Absurdist_news

How Does a Library Make Money? - Absurdist News: Books

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 1 May 2019 00:16:52 +0000

Hope you've got your glasses on for this one. Marks brings 5 book adjacent news stories to the table as Max and Dave read their ways through this one! Topics include: Library money, fantasy misogyny, How to Murder Your Husband, book scoundrels, and crashed jeeps.

website & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

The Brotherhood of the Travelling Pants - Absurdist News: Lawsuits

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 24 Apr 2019 04:00:09 +0000

Order in the court! We enter into Dave's court in this episode of Absurdist News, as Marks and Max try to prosecute 5 crazy lawsuit articles.
Topics include: micropenis, misnamed children, napkins, Foster's, getting pants'd

articles and contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

The Burger King King - Absurdist News: Fast Food

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 17 Apr 2019 04:42:07 +0000

This episode comes in fast - fast food fast. Marks brings up 5 fast food stories to Max and Dave as they try and figure out which one is fake news.
Topics include: PETA, doughnut fries, grieving, Taco Bell lawsuit, Pizza babies.

Website & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @absurdist_news

Best Nose in the Tube - Absurdist News: April Fools

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 10 Apr 2019 03:30:18 +0000

APRIL FOOLS! Wait it's definitely not April 1st you say? Well regardless, get ready for this kind of backwards episode with Max showing us 4 fake news articles and 1 true one. Listen in as Marks and guest Riles navigate these crazy waters.

Topics include: Beer prescriptions, Airplane pizza orders, Jedi school, smelly food in the tube, and Apex's newest app.

article & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com
twitter: @Absurdist_News

Disney's Naked and Afraid - Absurdist News: Reality TV

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 3 Apr 2019 04:20:48 +0000

Marks hosts again bringing wild stories about reality tv to Max and Dave. Time to figure out which article is fake!
Topics include: Naked and Afraid, Putin, Racism, Eggs of instagram, and pimps.

articles & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

H'armless - Absurdist News: The Florida Man Cometh

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 27 Mar 2019 03:08:33 +0000

I mean the descriptions basically all in the title. Get ready for more Florida stories and see if you can figure out which news is fake alongside Marks and Max! Always can count on Dave to give us good stories. Topics include: playgrounds, hamster balls, pitbulls, hookah smoking caterpillars, and armless Daredevil.

Articles and contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Sad News - Absurdist News: Teens

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 20 Mar 2019 04:08:15 +0000

Where do we even begin with this one. Yikes.
Join Marks and Dave as they tackle Max's 5 stories all about... teens!
Topics include: stealing a pizza car, living on the subway, selling a kidney, arrested for burping, and bullying potatoes.

articles & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com/
and a twitter! @absurdist_news

Buckle-neer - Absurdist News: Florida

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 13 Mar 2019 07:02:10 +0000

Marks and Max take a dive into... Florida. With Dave. He's from Florida.
Stories include: morbidly obese monkeys, irl pirates, cookie crimes, cocaine wind, and fart knives.

articles: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Bird Flight Experience - Absurdist News: Flights

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 6 Mar 2019 07:00:17 +0000

Into the skies! Marks takes Max and Dave on a flight through stories about airplanes and crazy things that have happened on them. Topics include: coins, 80 hawks, love, pythons, and the NFL.

website & contact: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Space Sex Dragons - Absurdist News: Space

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 27 Feb 2019 15:50:21 +0000

Marks, Max and Dave are back at it again with some Space stories! Get ready to be taken out of this world with this episode of Absurdist News.
Topics: sex lizards, weed, duct tape, bullets, and inappropriate UFOs.

Check out our website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Marsupials are Kinky - Absurdist News: Animals

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 20 Feb 2019 23:44:00 +0000

Back at it with the animal stories! Marks and Max go up against Dave who has selected 5 fun animal stories. Topics include: glasses wearing bunnies, multiplying crayfish, marsupial reproduction, and snail races.

send us your news stories!

website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Charity War 2019 - Absurdist News: Valentine's

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 13 Feb 2019 01:34:00 +0000

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Well depending on when you listening this. But its coming out on the 13th so close enough.
This week, Marks brings Max and Dave all the lovey dovey stories... Valentine's stories! Articles cover tinder bots, Goodwill, animal condoms, ketchup caviar, and Indian extremists.

website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

email: friendsdostuffcast@gmail.com

Pigs Vs 5 Year Olds - Absurdist News: Animals

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 6 Feb 2019 01:00:00 +0000

Strap in folks, its time for your absurdist news with Marks, Max and Dave! Get ready to learn alot about the animal kingdom, because things are crazy. Talking points: dog births, dolphin births, aphid births, cockroach dating, and land of the piglets.

website with articles: AbsurdistNews.Wordpress.com

"All i wanna do is get an anime wife” - Absurdist News: Army

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 30 Jan 2019 05:33:00 +0000

Welcome back to Absurdist News with Marks, Max and Dave. Max breaks into full military gear with 5 fun army stories. Topics include: cyborgs, cannons, viagara, insurance fraud, and stolen APCs.

email: friendsdostuffcast@gmail.com

website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Santa the Sleigher - Absurdist News: Crime

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 02:47:00 +0000

The host with the most takes the stage - and you guessed it, it was Dave! Dave shares 5 crazy crime stories with Marks and Max as they try and figure out whats real, and what's fake on this episode of Absurdist News. Topics covered: Windexing roomates, Santa the Sleigh-er, Text you to prison, Canon shooting in NY, and Killing with Kindess.

email: friendsdostuffcast@gmail.com

links: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Vancougared - Absurdist News: Nightclubs

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 16 Jan 2019 06:25:00 +0000

Marks, Max and Dave come back with 5 fun articles about nightclubs! Strap in for stories of old people, horses, google translate, cougars and football stars.

Website: absurdistnews.wordpress.com

Email: friendsdostuffcast@gmail.com

New Years Eve: Absurdist News

mwong095@gmail.com (Absurdist News) — Wed, 9 Jan 2019 01:00:00 +0000

Marks, Max, and Dave take a look at some interesting New Years related news stories. Can you figure out which one is fake?

email: friendsdostuffcast@gmail.com

articles: absurdistnews.wordpress.com